(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by WWE's Jim Ross & is not intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). "Angry Jim" is a very loosely based parody based on the Wrestlecrap Radio character.)
(Disclaimer Disclaimer: The views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do not reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com. We also apologise for any of Jim's "Inappropriate" Political Views)
(Disclaimer Disclaimer Disclaimer: Despite being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself. Say what you want about him, but he IS still a WWE employee after all. At least, he is this week. - PB)
How ya doin' tonight nerds!
|Here's my "BBQ Party" logo!|
Don't Like it? Go **** yourself!
Pro-Life or Pro-Choice:
I’m “Pro BBQ”! Instead of pre-marital sex, I believe in pre-marital BBQ! That means that if everyone learned to BBQ instead of ****ing each other all the time, there would be less abortions and less b*****d children running around!
There will be no need for healthcare reform! Why?! Because if more people ate some good BBQ & spent less time ****ing around, there would be more healthy people and less of them spreading herpes! And there'll be also less people needing to go to the doctor to check their d*** sores!
The Economy, War & Terrorism:
If we all learned to BBQ there would be less wars in the world! And we won't need to invade other countries for oil when all we will need to use is ****ing propane! As President, I will be constructing less bombs and more BBQ’s. This will also lead to more American jobs in the BBQ manufacturing sector, therefore solving our economic s***. Don't believe me?! Look at the chart on the right!
Al Chainy asks: Jim, who have you picked as your running mate?
I asked Stone Cold, but he’s busy with his Redneck Island show! Bill Watts also turned it down, which is a shame because he could turn America around like he did with WCW! Also, Ventura wants to stay an Independent and I don’t know where Doc is anymore?! So I bet you nerds aren’t surprised that my running mate is going to be...Hollywood John! The only reason I picked that idiot is because he at least knows a little about BBQ’ing! I just hope that dumb*** doesn’t show up at Congress wearing that ****ing a feathered Boa!
Trey Hugger asks: Won’t all this BBQ’ing lead to more pollution in the air? And eating meat is murder!
There’s no proof that BBQ’ing increases pollution ****head! Propane is clean burning! And you should be glad to know that I will increase funding into research for propane fueled cars instead of using oil! And eating meat is not murder you d****bag! Animals were put on this earth for us to eat! It's like these religious ****s who say that beating your meat is a sin (I don’t know what they mean by that, I beat my meat for money daily?!)! So stop your bitching, BBQ some ****ing tofu and then go **** yourself!!
Iron Mark Tyson asks: Is Mitt Romney firing Big Bird? Nooooo!
You ****ing Mark! He said he’s cutting funding to PBS! In my opinion, the only "Big Bird" those ****heads Romney & Obama should be debating about is whether a turkey should be BBQ'd or roasted! As President, I won't remove funding from PBS but will change Sesame Street to make it more educational about BBQ’ing! Bid Bird will be teaching kids how to cook a pulled pork! Cookie Monster will become "The Meat Monster" and teach these stupid anorexic kids that eating a steak is healthy! And Oscar will be grouchier; I don’t think he’s grouchy enough!
Hilary Lowinski asks: I heard the rumors Jim! You’re involved in a sex scandal and there’s a tape to prove it!
Go **** yourself! Those rumors are false! I did not have sexual relations with that woman: Mrs Ross lately! She hasn't ****ed me in many years! But yes, there is a sex tape that I did in 1978 I have on an 8mm reel! That was back in the days when my wife actually wanted to **** me! And it’s better than Hulk’s video that's out right now with his tiny c***!
SO AMERICA! STOP F***ING, START BBQ'ING AND VOTE FOR ANGRY JIM THIS NOVEMBER! OR SHOVE IT UP YOUR A** AND GO **** YOURSELVES!
P.S. For those nerds and marks who read my Twitter, I have been in a war-of-words with some guy called; Raging D***head! He’s been talking a lot of **** about me there and on his podcast! He's been saying that during the time when I had my UWF Haunted house, all the guests ****ed my wife (except me)! Then he poked fun at my palsy and claims that he and Tony Danza had a threesome with my wife and then slapped a turkey in her face?! And what’s worse, he even went as far to suggest that Dark Journey put my wife in a "leg scissors"...and I’m not talking about the wrestling hold! Which is why the UWF Haunted house is CANCELLED THIS HALLOWEEN! So **** ya-self....and vote for me!
[JIIIIIM! That's not appropriate! How do you expect people to vote for you if you insult them?....Nevermind, look who I'm talking to. Yay BBQ's! -RVMKai]