WCR Video: Blade’s Ex Part 6: Why do you lie!?



Blade’s Ex Part 6: Why do you lie!? (by rvm619)

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RD Reviews the "WWE Network" on YouTube

It's been mentioned on the latest episode of Wrestlecrap Radio so...(Whoops!)

Raging_Demons here once again, yes the OTHER RD, here to take a look at the potential pile of...Oh who I am kidding here. It is a pile of Wrestlecrap waiting to be inducted which is the "WWE Network's" new bunch of shows on the YouTube. Now for those of you that don't know or are too lazy to click on the link [or check the summary about it below this post - PB] WWE's cable network called (creatively enough) "WWE Network" has been delayed; but they decided that the show, or in this case SHOWS, will go on by putting some of the planned programming on their YouTube account. Deal already covered one of their steaming piles of crap but what about the other ones? The ones that'll give you nightmares like anything else WWE releases, & trust me about WWE & their entertainment programming since "See No Evil" gave me too many nightmares of Kane playing "pocket pool" in front of that one chick. So without any further delays let's take a look at what WWE has to offer.

1. "Santino Marella's Foreign Exchange"

Hey lookie here. Santino Marella gets his own "man on the street" show & let me tell you it BLOWS! Mostly the show lets Santino try to create the funny which is in essence is a bad idea because these type of shows aren't funny at all to begin with. Then you add Santino trying to bring his show into WWE continuity, which is shown by the most recent episode with Santino trying to be serious with the rest of the WWE roster either not going along with it or in Daniel Bryan's case sticking to his character & pooping all over it like drinking the water in Mexico; then what you have is a really bad show. If you want a funny "man on the street" show go watch Comedy Central's "Jon Benjamin Has A Van".

2. "WWE Backstage Fallout"

Basically this is an "After The Show" show that's been getting popular thanks to "AfterBuzzTV" & TNA as well. If you want to watch it go ahead but honestly I think it's a waste of time to watch shows like these if the main show didn't make you happy afterwards. I mean, is there anything else you have to learn from this week's show by having Primo & Epico claim they are awesome yet again?

3. "WWE Presents"

Basically this is WWE's attempt by covering events that WWE talent does away from WWE. When you start this show's series with the FREAKING Bella's! Just cancel the show. NEXT!

4. "WWE Inbox"

WWE wrestlers answer your questions...In YouTube form! Don't we have something that can cover this called "Twitter" & doesn't every member of the WWE roster (except Sheamus) have a Twitter account? What's the point of having this show in the first place? NEXT!

5. "WWE Download"

Dolph Ziggler gets a show that rips off "Tosh.0" & "Web Soup" by making fun of online videos with his "wacky" & "zany" humor that he writes himself! This is show is bad for the following reasons: 1. Ziggles gives away the joke when he describes the damn clip! 2. Ziggles writes his own jokes & he's not funny! 3. Ziggles' WWE character is not supposed to be funny yet when we give him a show like this we're supposed to assume he's Ziggles "The Jokeman"?!? Uh...no. I mean I COULD go on & make fun of how Ziggles is about as funny as watching a guy who watches paint drying but we got more bad crap we need to cover here.

6. "Superstar Toyz"

Okay a show about WWE Stars & their hobbying/collecting ways. Something I can get interested to; then we take a look at the first show which is Alberto Del Rio "buying" a new luxury car. Little known fact here; Del Rio DOESN'T own all of his cars. It's just that WWE RENTS them from local dealers so just by watching & knowing this little fact there's no way you can watch this.

7. "Outside The Ring"

Interesting concept here in that we take WWE talent & take them away from anything WWE-ish so we can see what they do. This episode we have The Usos cooking some Samoan food. I actually liked this episode. What can I tell you, I'm a sucker for food that I haven't tried before & especially if that food is Samoan food. This could be a show that I...GULP...Like.

Of course I'm not going to mention the previously mentioned "Are You Serious?" & Zack Ryder's "Z! True Long Island Story" which moved over on this channel but let's get to the bottom line here which is this:

Under any circumstances DO NOT & I mean DO NOT watch any of these shows! Myself & this website will not be responsible for what might happen to you in the near future if you do. Besides, they're going to be inducted as Wrestlecrap in the near future so you don't have to watch them in the first place.

WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 12: From My Chocolate Heart To Yours

From My Chocolate Heart To Yours
Written by HeartbreakDX
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken

"Hi Hunter!" Shawn said, bouncing up and down in his friend's face.

"Hi Shawn." Hunter muttered, trying not to smiled at the blond's hyperness. Out of the corner of his eye he saw one of the camera guys with his camera but he didn't really care.

"GUESS WHAT!" Shawn shouted, his bouncing becoming higher and higher.

"Shawn. How much chocolate have you eaten today?" Hunter asked him, raising an eyebrow and eying his hyper blond friend.

"Ummmmmm...errrr...huh...I dunno...wooooo room spinning!" he exclaimed, twirling in place as he leapt into the air. Hunter grabbed Shawn's shoulders and held him in place.

"Come down from the sugar high Shawn before you hurt yourself." he laughed.

"Mmmm ok, GUESS WHAT!" Shawn continued.

"What Shawn?" Hunter sighed exasperated, shaking his head.

"ITS VALENTINES DAY!" Shawn screeched.

"I know that Shawn." Hunter said, laughing again.

"I got you your gift!" Shawn said brightly, holding out a small red chocolate heart in the palm of his hand. It was the same gift Shawn had always given him but it had always touched him.

Hunter took it, looking into Shawn's sugar-brightened eyes. Those eye that haunted his dreams and melted his heart. Those blue-grey beauties that he just loved to lose himself in. He couldn't stop himself, acting on an impulse.

He pushed Shawn's body back against the wall and claimed his friend's lips for a deeply passionate kiss.

At first Shawn tensed against him but he soon relaxed, wrapping his arms around Hunter's neck and responding greedily. Neither noticed, nor cared about the camera recording every second.

Finally, Hunter and Shawn had to break apart for air. He didn't let go of Shawn however, as both men caught their breath. Instead he drew him closer against him.

"How long." Shawn finally asked softly.

"Hmmm?"

"How long have you had feelings for me Hunt, how long have you wanted to kiss me?"

Hunter sighed and blushed a little pink, looking into Shawn's eyes once more.

"Since the first Valentines Day we knew each other when you gave me the first chocolate heart."

"You've had my heart in the palm of your hand for a very long time Shawn. I love you."

Shawn grinned and wrapped his arms around Hunter's neck again.

"I love you too Hunter. That's why I've been giving you the hearts."

Hunter smiled too, which quickly turned into a smirk when he lifted Shawn off his feet and the smaller man wrapped his legs around Hunter's waist.

"I do believe there's a locker room bench with your name on it Shawn." he growled in the blond's ear.
Shawn just giggled in response as Hunter carried him off.

The End.

205 Mind the ValenTime: February 17, 2012

100 minutes

Happy (Chinese) New Year! And I thought they weren't going to do any episodes this year. Silly me. Although according to RD: "We're not making any promises." Still, at least Blade is back on form with the Crickets, so I guess that's good or something.

Back on the internet air, the Fruitcakes waste no time talking about...football. Bet you Dave Meltzer's not talking about THAT this week. (:04 - :14) Once again Blade's "Hobo Curse", in which the team he supports loses most of the time, came into effect in the Superbowl, as the Giants beat Brakestown's Patriots in Indianapolis. RD wants to do something new to pay off his bet this year, which he lost for some reason. Send the usual submissions to Blade.

Blade wants a WCR "Hall Of Fame" as an excuse to reanimate the 2008 Crappies.

Sad News: Global Internet has merged with another Internet provider, cyberlynk.net. (:16) Now don't confuse that with cyberLINK.net (which looks about as fake as most things are these days) or cyberlink.CA, which is a completely different internet provider. Damn Canucks. I blame Roberto LOLungo for this, as usual.

RD finally gets around to finding Mike Check's 'new' website (which has been active since April). "This is the work of genius," he proclaims. 

:24 Sad News: Blade broke RD's old laptop. RD would have brought a pair of rusty scissors to edit the Star Wars prequels. Blade is sober drunk and wants to make porn parodies of the movies. He also wants to eat meat for breakfast instead of the 10 different types of Cheerios on offer.  Ah...no. Any active man worth his salt knows they can get protein from plenty of other places. Eggs, legumes, nuts, supplements, that sort of thing.

:37 Edge is NOT going to New York to sign autographs. Neither is Fake Rikishi attracting 400 people for signings. I blame Even Colder Mike Austin.

Mickie James is rocking some maternity pants. (:44) This does not require the use of the HorseTrolla for some reason which is good. As a part of the Trolla purchase the thing's getting upgraded with a new model; an Godolphin Arabian of course. It should be there by the next episode, which by my calculations should be in June.

:47 Dark Journey's resurfaced, and of course Jim Ross is happy. According to him she has the Deltan look going on, which means she'll now do a film with the Paper Chase guy. "I'm gonna go jerk off" Jim says before departing. I wonder if he does that while beating his meat. (But I don't want his semen to get in his sauces.)

Maria is spending her 'time' being the next Elvira...if Elvira was brain-dead and had about as much intelligence as your average reality game show contestant. (:51)

When Jerry Only looks better...
Velvet Sky is a zombie for some reason. (:56) There's a joke to be made here.

Trips looks good in a dress, doesn't he?
Sir Alec calls in, causing Blade to cough. (:58) He has another story (a prequel?) of Hunter and Shawn in love.

Your Pal Irish Dynamite Eighty Boy has the Question of the Week. (:67) He wants them to get rid of Lord Alfred for cheating on them on other shows.

The Honky Tonk Mailman has been correspondent for a year (which is lucky, considering the fact that we had only five shows last year). Thankfully he's on to gloat about it. (:69) TNA cancelled their UK tour last year, to the disappointment of that one guy who really wanted to go out with Velvet Sky. (Zombie Nathaniel, we know it's you, so get back in your coffin this instant. Even if she DOES look like a zombie from the aforementioned picture.) The HTMM doesn't like her for some reason. Hey, who does? He has his own commemorative stamp for the anniversary, whatever that is.

:76 Michael Cole has won the 2011 Gooker for the generally horrible job he's been doing. I wonder if he'll Tweet about this and have this become one of those Trending Topics he keeps going on and on and on about.

The WWE Network's been delayed (wow, what a shock) so they're stuck on YouTube. One show in particular, Are You Serious? is...well...are you serious? It's awful. They essentially cover some of the very worst in pro wrestling, with 'amusing' commentary and jokes on the stuff. I wonder where I've seen that before... Of course, seeing as how WWE's hand is in this, the jokes are constrained and not funny at all. It's essentially a video version of WrestleCrap Radio. In that vein I pity my counterpart who has to recap their stuff. RD wants to meta commentate on them.

As if the Divas weren't being taken seriously enough, Natalya Neidhart (she of the Hart clan and one of the few actual good female wrestlers the promotion has) has 'problems' controlling a part of her body. New Hall Of Famer (for WWE, not WCR...yet) Mark Tyson has insight on this. (:84)

Seventeen Syllables on her problem:
Farting Natalya.
Do you smell what she's cooking?
Neidhart asshole juice.

Sign that Blade is drunk; his haiku makes no fucking sense. "Neidfart's sharptooters" would sound better. But, well, what do you expect.

Fuck, you know what? THAT should be the haiku here.

Seventeen Syllables on her problem:
Farting Natalya.
Do you smell what she's cooking?
Neidfart's sharptooters.

I would ask to be on the show because of that, but I value my sanity highly.

RD's made a 'Tribute' to Greg, which consists of all the magical things he can do for you if you ever bought a URL with him. (:91 - end) Poor guy will never live this down.



The stakes are raised for Blade's antics now. (What can I say, I'm as bored as you are.) His transgressions now cost double, so now he has to pay 50 cents for his troubles. This should be fun. He thus owes $4.00 for the year (plus the $19.99 The Price Is Right).