Minisode #130 Mega X-Mas!

by iggy



December 19, 2008

Don and the dwarf
Crown Royal and Egg Nog
RD calls Trolla tech support.
Nathaniel opens up a gift and the gift opens up on Nathaniel.
Angry Jim records a Christmas album.

#7800 #palsy

130 A Christmas CaRoss: December 19, 2008

You're a mean one, Mr. Deal.
82 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Disclaimer: If you're looking for any actual wrestling news in this episode, then I'm afraid you're out of luck. Of course...why are you listening to this show for news in the first place??? [Get your HOT NEWZ right here. --Iggy]

RD and Blade announce that due to the hard financial times we are in, only one of the...'12' listeners could send them a present, of which we'll soon see. (:03) Don Mason once tried having sex with a dwarf. Unfortunately she did not have the name of Sexy. (:05) Blade once again promises a great show, but he's not helped by being drunk off his ass due to the Lions' loss to the Colts. According to Mr. Braxton he's more better when sober, but I have my doubts. Besides he could have two deadly sides, like Harvey Dent. He also has some array of STDs. RD is mystified by things on his own DVD. (:13)

Mention is made of last week of a returned to angry Jim Ross trying to uplift his spirits by making a "Christmas album" (16). We listen to Blade's karaoke - I mean Jim Ross' singing tones - spitting on the mike about Bell's Palsy as RD helps record his golden tones (and tries to stifle his laughter - yes, very professional.)

There is mention of the new induction, the movie adaptation of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I admit it's a terrible movie, and one of Ron Howard's worst, but I disagree with RD, as I've seen worse. Besides, in my humble opinion the worst Dr. Suess movie is obviously The Cat in the Hat. RD reveals he's drinking a bit too due to the movie. (:21) Sadly Blade did NOT see it with Don Mason. RD's TRIP consists of his ordeal of an odyssey of obtaining the movie to review, interspersed by Blade's meanderings (of course). Another JR 'song' is made, I mean listened to. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Obscure Wrestling News - Maria is dating a WWE cameraman (:32). Sad News - Deuce is splitting from Domino to be known as Sim Snuka and Cherry is retiring to pursue education - a very honorable venture to be sure. (33) Another JR 'song'. mypenisdoesnothavepalsy.com has not yet been taken. Does that mean it would get erect on one side only?

Question of the Week (:38) this week Present of the Week, due to gifts from Crapper Ed Solo (2) (they say his name wrong, what is it about mispronouncing names? Don't get to MY name I beg you!). They turn out to be some very nice Count Chocula shirts.

Trolla's 'gift' for RD hasn't 'arrived' yet, prompting him to call Technical Support...for a package delivery? Don't you need CUSTOMER Support for that? He does this via a free face-to-face Skype call. (:43) The whole thing is just an excuse for the TattooTrolla Guy to make an appearance answering RD's call. It seems the package was sent not to RD, but to Nathaniel. Of course, seeing as how RD and Nate are the same guy it's easy to get confused.

Sure enough, RD 'summons' 'Nate' to explain himself (:49) He calls into 'WrestleClap' (Is that one of Blade's mentioned STDs?)  Coincidentally the package arrives for him just that moment. How 'convenient.' (Also RD hits on his wife - I mean, Nate's 'mother'.) It turns out to be a TrollaTron 7800 'MegaTrolla', the new TNA correspondent. "But wait," you say (assuming you verbally respond to this website), "Isn't that Nate's job? How are we going to explain this discrepancy?" Sure enough, Nate gets exterminated for our amusement, sounding like an extra in one of Don Mason's home movies [And buy your copy of the Archive Disc today! /shill]. (Also the sounds of gunfire sound more like he's getting killed questing for a Captain Crunch drink at the nearby Carl's Jr.)

So he falls, the fifth TNA 'correspondent' to go in just the year alone. For the next year I predict it will change at least four more times, one of those times being Angry JR. Want to hold me on it Iggy? The wager doesn't have to be on hockey of course. [I'll bite. What's at stake? --Iggy] [Hmmm...whoever loses has to be more nice than mean-spirited in their next recap of the show?][Okay, but let's put it on the Pens/Habs game rather than waiting until 2010. --Iggy]

Current Wrestling News - Marissa Tomei plays a naked stripper in The Wrestler (:60) Boy, THAT'S a stretch. A recap of the show and all the wrestling news therein is made, which...yeah. We get another JR 'song'.

Finally we get to the main point of the week and presents are opened. (:65) Blade got back his shirt he left at RD's home, some Boba Fett helmet car thing, a Darth Vader snow globe, some Lions shirt, and some action figures of the Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith and Matilda (in packaging for Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson). RD got a DVD of The Outsiders, a Quentin Tarantino figure who looks like Peyton Manning (in Kill Bill: Vol.3: Kill Bill Belichick), and a Don Mason gift of Killer Looks complete with corn oil.

Haiku to close out the wonderful year of 2008:
Nathaniel is dead.
Blasted by Trolla product.
Greatest gift of all.

Oh, and one more JR 'song' for the road. Happy holidays everyone! Iggy and myself wish you all well till the next year.

Minisode #129 Goodbye, Snitsky

by iggy



December 12, 2008

Blade hit the bottle.
Nathaniel
Snitsky released
Angry Jim calls

#puntin' babies #what a nerd

129 Oklahoma Jim and the Last Crusade: December 12, 2008

DetroitLionsCrap.com - I bet that's not taken!
72 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

The antics of the Great Khali and his long tongue down Mickie James' throat forces Blade to drink. Blade has a feeling that this episode will be 'the greatest show of all time'. Also, the Titanic is unsinkable. (:03) The Colts and Lions are playing next week - another bet is proposed, perhaps of Blade having sex with Nicole Bass. It would probably be more bearable if one or both were wearing Katie Vick outfits while doing so.

Lions Center Dominic Raiola has no remorse for flipping off his heckling fans at a home game (:07) - well, what do you expect from a wrestling broadcast but pro football news? Blade wants him to scratch his taint. (scratchingyourtaint.com has not yet been taken.) Discussion follows of the hapless Lions and Raiola wanting to challenge his hecklers to fight him in his front lawn - could that be a basis for a good video game? Blade mentions his Front Yard Boxing Association Championship Belt. (:11) A real bet is made for the game - the loser has to be drunk for next show. I don't know - at this point I'm more interested in making a bet with Farmer Iggy here on who would emerge victorious when the Canadiens face the Penguins. [How about: if the Penguins lose, Blade has to defend his FYBA title against Paul Bissonnette? —Iggy] Also Blade has two interviews this week on doorstopnation.com and myspace.com/theatomicdropshow

RD's TRIP to the grocery (:16) is made possible in thanks to the Archive (and viewers like you). It seems that one of the purchasers, John P., bought RD some Bimbo Bread. Now don't laugh - the thing is actually real, albeit a more Mexican food than American one.

Obscure Wrestling News - RD & Blade were invited to a Trish Stratus party up north. (:20). Finger food is mentioned. RD becomes sad that the party is not exclusive to them. Then...why would she have sent a Myspace bulletin about it then? Of all the...

O.D.B. of TNA is 'sailing' some used undergarments for $50+ 'due to popular demand' (perhaps she was jealous of Layla's oranges). (:25) The mere mention of TNA has a Candyman like effect of 'Nathaniel' trying to ring in. This causes RD to again argue with himself. RD had a cool menthol turkey to go with Blade's alien ham. He should give it to 'Nathaniel'. Barry Darsow's son is signed to a WWE D-League (:31) Blade wonders if he will become Repo Boy. Sad News - Robecca DiPietro removes that ad commentary video from her favorites, (:32) maybe because she actually watched it (or perhaps read this very site). The co-hosts fear she will never appear on the show - thank the Emperor for that!

Jim Ross calls in (:35) - he lost out on his Slammies and his holiday hams aren't going too well and he hasn't been getting along with his wife either. Also he still doesn't like Brother Midnight. The phone rings again - speak of the devil, here he is! (:40). A hilarious debate between the two ensues, of which we learn that Jim only lives for his BBQ sauce. Midnight's Crusade's help actually make our slobberknocker man into Happy JR. It's a Christmas miracle! (I give him until the end of the episode.)

Question of the Week (:50) from a 'Jay' wants Verne Gagne to beat up John Cena. Blade wants Rambo Greg Gagne to return as a log-throwing heel. RD wants Dr. D to be his companion, and wonders why they haven't made a best of DVD for him yet.

RD as Nate comes to spoil our fun, the Scrooge that he is. (:55) Also some small disfluency pops up in his speech, and not just because he sounds more and more like RD sounding as a man who loves TNA TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION WRESTLING. This week; Sarah Palin on TNA? Gee, I wonder how that idea came about. 2 minutes this time. RD can't actually 'harm' Nate (seeing as he harms himself too, like that terrible Lindsay Lohan movie).

More Current Wrestling Sad News: Blade comments on the show's highs and lows, reminding me of an earlier similar show. Gene Snitsky AKA Boba Foot has been released. (:59) Could TNA be next for him? Hulk and Flair showed up in the Carolinas somewhere on YouTube and attracted 800 people (:62) - but hey, that's more than an average TNA house showing. Blade does some bad Outsiders impressions. WWE was overseas in Iraq (:66) where Joey Styles beat up JBL.

Seventeen Syllables to commemorate Joey Styles legitimate threat to Blade's FYBA Championship:
JBL knocked out.
Guess mamajuana does-
-n't help a glass jaw.

Of course a newly Angry JR calls in at the end of the show. Am I supposed to be surprised?

Minisode #128 Eat It, Eat It Now!

by iggy



December 5, 2008

It's Dr. D. David Schultz Week.
Tammy. Sytch. Egg.
The Black Friday Hillbillies
Angry Jim has Doc pull bones out of hams

#like a goof #bread for everyone

128 Dr. D's Black Friday: December 5, 2008

The Big Black Friday Recap Show
95 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

This writ is dedicated to Buddy "Dinobot" Beene, who passed away just previously. Rest in peace.

This week's inductee, one Dr David Schultz, thinks WC is the City Dump. RD believes that if he stayed with the company he could have been a license to print money/ratings. (:02) Discussion of this mortal enemy of John Stossel follows, Blade saying that any news of him overtook Black Friday. The Detroit Lions were annihilated by the League darlings the Tennessee Titans on Thanksgiving 10-47 making Blade sad. Unfortunately he doesn't go hitting the bottle which would make things infinitely better. (:05) RD calls the game one of the single worst games he has ever seen in his entire life. The two were texting back and forth during that match, like some sort of middle-aged tall BFFs. Blade got a Lions 2008 pre-season championship shirt in the mail from some site or other. His 'match' with Nicole Bass is brought up. The season is not looking good for RD's Colts, Blade's Lions or my beloved Packers. Lions0in16.com has not yet been taken. RD's Christmas present is whatisthisthecitydump.com complete with looping sound bite. (isn't that at ytmnd.com somewhere?) (Also, if you want more Dr D insanity check out the beginning of this YouTube video) The two Masonmania entries (video culminations of Blade's Don Mason stories) are mentioned. Blade shills himself in the new DVD (:13) and is said to be 'disgusting' in the shoot interview by RD.

RD's TRIP to Black Friday (:16) makes RD fearful of his life from the hillbillies around him. RD's jokes fail at Wal-Mart, much like they do normally on the show. He also encountered a Grizzly Adams/Mike Knox type with a knife. He quotes an angry shopper - "I fuckin' hate Christmas!" Blade is thankful he slept in for it.

Obscure Wrestling News: Bri Bella of the Bella Twins is dating Richie Kotzen, formally of Poison. (:34) Thank God Bret is not involved. Knowing he, he'd take the other twin and make a reality show around their foursome or so.

It's also Tammy Sytch's 36th birthday. (:36). Her site is visited. A more enticed Blade undertakes a NSFW Image Search involving 'Tammy Sytch eggs'. - I've seen some terrible stuff and even I have to admit that makes me nauseous. Search at your own peril! To was that off we have her Amazon Wish List for her birthday, but the only thing bought as of this writing is this rather strange item.

Hmmm, a $10 admission bargain at half the price of Greg Valentine and George Steele starring in a movie together? (:45) We watch the teaser snippet for their movie, Somethin' Fishy, which involves the two co-stars just sitting around talking. Kinda like this show really. RD is surprised by George's talking while Blade wants to hear Greg talk about having sex with non-Chyna trannies. Sadly neither of the two took a dive in the water, so thus the whole thing is an ordeal. Now, a fishing movie with Dr D? THAT would be a blockbuster according to RD. There are free showings on this Friday December 5th down in Florida, but there has been little or no news about it. I would guess that, well, something's fishy about all this.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail, with more news on Mickie James (:54), who wants to act. Also she has split up with John Cena, which is good news for Blade. Sadly I don't think he'll do much with this latest development.

Jim Ross calls (:58), in a rather more serious mood this time. After telling us about how Doctor Steve Williams poisoned a child with a badly cooked turkey, he feels Brother Midnight is trying to fuck with him with a BBQ apron and also providing the thought of BBQing naked. He promises to help ham cooking tips for Christmas, while suffering what seems to be an emotional breakdown. "Go fuck yourself!" he says randomly before he 'hangs up'.

Question of the Week. (:67) Raging Demons (3) talks about TNA and a Cricket Arena. Those two go well together! And SPEAKING OF TNA...'Nathaniel' is here. (:70) He sounds more and more like RD with each successive episode. There's something about turkeys - like this segment for one. Blade is mad as hell and is not gonna take this anymore, but the Star Gazer/Hustler music interrupts as Seaman First Class Peter Gazer randomly calls in to save the day. (:73) He's on the line and out of the closet, and RD & Blade are happy to see him, as are we all. (His entrance to the Navy has been tied up which explains his appearance, which is about as valid as...well...believing that he's gay.) He calls 'Nerdaniel' a Totally Nerd Asshole...so he's indirectly calling out RD too? (As you can see my suspension of disbelief has broken, sending my disbelief all over the street crushing helpless civilians.) He scares off Nate away though and wonders if Blade is bi, promising to teach Nate something should he visit. Now THAT would be a something. He could combat Nate's weak physicality with jazz hands. But his gay attitude brings back the gayness in the holiday spirit.

Music-less Current Sad News (:80) Bruce Pritchard AKA Brother Love has been released. The Gobbeldy Gooker was sighted at Survivor Series with the Boogeyman. (:83) Robecca DiPietro favored the WCR commentary video of her Batista sex doll commercial. SPEAKING OF Batista, he was involved with Kelly Kelly at one point but split off from her due to her being too 'immature'. You don't say? (:85) (Oh, and here's a picture of the man at a Washington Wizards game) Discussion of his 'mentor' Ric Flair and his sexual conquests follows. Stephanie McMahon should be called Black Monday. Mockery of her and the Slammies follows. Shawn Michaels is broke.

Seventeen Syllables of Knowledge:
Broke-ass HBK.
No cash - guess it's time for Whis-
per to start whoring.

Oh, and I counted Blade saying "you know" at least 30 times. What did YOU get?

Minisode #127 Preparing the Turkeys

by iggy



November 21, 2008

Don Mason's Reddi-Whip
Little Debbie jacked up the price of her Snack Trees
Angry Jim talks about Doc tenderizes the meat
Chief Jay calls

#white afro #praying

127 Thanks For Nothing: November 21, 2008

"Thanks For Nothing!"
82 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Thanksgiving has landed like the Mayflower on American soil, and Blade looks forward once more to the Lions losing yet again. He also doesn't like pecan pie for some reason, and he missed buying some Bo Jackson pumpkin pie. There's always a next time... French vanilla cool whip is given some psychoanalytical treatment. Don...Don Mason was once caught with Ready Whip to remove the 'salty taste'. (:03) This week's Classic Inductions are glossed over, which feature the Gobbeldy Gooker, the AWA Team Challenge Series featuring a Turkey on a Pole, and a ruined Survivor Series (:04). Oh, and the new induction is Tatanka (Buffalo) returning to WWE and hating Thanksgiving due to the injustices done to his people, which is on the same level of authenticity as Commander Chakotay's Native American heritage on Star Trek: Voyager. RD and Blade wonder if Samoa Joe basted and cooked as a turkey would be better than the real thing. A temporary sponsor: the 2008 Archive DVD, taking the place earlier occupied of the WrestleCrap Book of LISTS Exclamation Point! Shilling of it ensues.

Blade's TRIP down the Cereal Aisle (:11) has him encountering Coco Drops, which to him resembles shit. RD is enraged because Little Debbie Snack Trees have increased in price - who can blame them in this sterling economy? Blade fails to entertain us. (:15) Little Debbie is 48 years of age according to RD's searches. Blade wonders if she can pose for Playboy and finds this flattering picture on Google. 'Powerful people' are mentioned as part of the 12 Listeners (:18)Well, yes, they are. They have electrical power alright.

(I apologize for that.)

Paul London today
(artist's representation)
Obscure Wrestling News - a $20 million cut is rumored for WWE (:22) Could Supercrazy be a solution? An unemployed Paul London can be booked (perhaps for your next birthday party) at plfutureendeavors@yahoo.com. There's discussion of hiring him as a co-host (or TNA correspondent), but can he be understood through his mask?

Anonymous Brooke (remember her?) has won some sort of 'Freestyle Fitness Mexico 2008 Contest' to the tune of $5000 (:29). Wow...I've seen randomly moronic game show contestants win more money than her in just a few minutes. This must have included competing in evening gown and swimsuit contests, resulting in heated discussion of her as a parade. Robecca DiPietro has made another commercial but her double entendre actions puzzle our co-hosts. Perhaps that porn music can help us out.

Meanwhile current Diva Tiffany promotes veganism on her blog. (:41) RD and Blade slightly mock her about her knowledge of animal treatment. Jim Ross calls (:42), and of course being a cattle man with his myriad BBQ sauces is completely opposed - after all who doesn't like meat? (Especially if it's Jim's own.) He has a Myspace page! He spends his time telling us how to make a turkey, and we hear how "Doc beats Jim's meat." Well there you go. Blade can't stop laughing while as him.

Oh, and Marc Mero was robbed this week. (:51) Perhaps the same guy who robbed a psychotic Balls Mahoney a while back did the deed?

The phone rings again and it's...Chief Jay Strongbow? RD picks up and puts the phone down.

Blade: Not only was that nonsensical, but that could be the most random moment in WrestleCrap Radio history.

Question Of The Week from Darth Who (2) (:54) concerns Christmas decorations. Blade is already drunk from his hospital mug. Good for him.

SPEAKING OF drinking, Nathaniel (:59) 'talks' about wrestling video games and TNA Impact. Time: 6 minutes. At least from this we know that he knows more than just TNA Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling! Blade wishes only the worst for him should they finally fire him. Preferably out of a cannon.

Music-Less Current Wrestling News is worn out from Nate (like me). RD promises to find music after nearly four years of silence. It emulates the current state of wrestling, and thus something they are not very much enthused about. Well, except for Randy Savage's cool-ass beard. I think I've found my new forum signature! (:69) He's also voice acting in the upcoming Disney film Bolt (Exclamation Point). Sadly it's just a generic animated movie (which is generally any animated movie these days not made by Pixar) and not the Vincent Lecavalier Story, unfortunately.

There's TMZ footage somewhere of Roddy Piper smoking marijuana and acting hopped up (of which my colleague Iggy has managed to find.). Hulk Hogan is selling his trademarks to Eric Bischoff so Linda can't get it...errr...

Chief Jay Strongbow's appearance on live TV angers RD and Blade who wish for a little randomness in it all (and random people appearing too).

Blade's gonna finish y'all off here with seventeen syllables about Chief Jay Strongbow:
He's Chief Jay Strongbow.
It's not why he was on Raw
It's just one word: How.

RD quotes Tatanka: "Thanks for nothing!"

The next show is in two weeks, friends.

Minisode #126 Angry Jim Went to England

by iggy



November 14, 2008

Angry Jim does not like mushy peas
Lena Yoda
Don Mason does not like bubblin'

#tea and crumpets #fired you are

126 Top (Wrestle)Chef: November 14, 2008

Top (Wrestle)Chef
61 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Although the release date of the WrestleCrap Archive Volume II Electric Boogaloo DVD has been delayed slightly, the Teaser Trailer for the WCR Shoot Interview has been uploaded to show that it actually was recorded just recently and actually exists. Blade is once again in trouble for his lewdness and his frequent conversation about cereals that time, but that fails in comparison compared to the brought up 'continuity error' (AKA random laziness) of resurrecting Stubby just for the sake of the Shoot. And it was lasting so well too! Ah well. Another Triple Kelly induction makes its way this week, this time of Booker T's Einsteinesque intelligence on The Weakest Link (thank God he was more smarter for Family Feud). The Angry Marks ad feed is again updated, with the aid of a lot of exclamation points.

Discussion of the Shoot Interview continues in RD's TRIP to the Grocery (:09). If Blade had to go shopping Black Friday he would bring Don...Don Mason along with him. To try and get RD off his tail on that line of thinking Blade tells us about what Don told him "why you shouldn't have anal sex." (:12)

Mr. Braxton visited the famous World Food Aisle and confuses RD and us somehow. (:15) Blade is sure one of the 12 Listeners (and thus by default one of the 12 Readers of this article) is listening to this while having sex, but RD is unsure. I'm guessing Blade does, preferably while wearing his Katie Vick outfit.

RD's friend Clayton is on the line; you'll remember him as the man of the King Pedophile commercials and of the taco Doritos debate. (:17 - :26) Blade wonders if he lives in the not too distant future way down in Deep 13 hatching an evil scheme with TV's Frank concerning sending a man into space and subjecting him to really bad movies (hey, he mentioned it first, not me). Regardless, Clayton says that "the incoherent rantings of a drunken hobo" are half-right; not all places in the Continental US sell them, so Blade might not find any near his location like Clayton does. [I thought Blade knew there are Taco Doritos, but they didn't taste like the Taco Doritos he grew up with...There is a pattern of Blade loving things which are extinct. --Iggy] As you can expect on a fine wrestling progrem such as this some discussion of Doritos ensures. Mention is made of the Fruity Pebbles/Mountain Dew Doritos (AKA the Epic Fail Doritos as RD calls them).

Faxtrolla's Obscure Wrestling NEWS - would you pay for a WrestleCrap video podcast? (:27) I know I would, particularly to see if Blade's wearing no pants and is drunk/hungover every week. This week, we visit The Hulk Hogan Experiment, a rapper trying (and almost getting too at times) to sound as gruff as the Hulkster. In that case shouldn't he call himself Brother Hulkster then? RD thinks the few tracks the man has sound better than that Hulk Rules album. I still prefer the Family Man song though. (There's some attempt to make a video out of all this here.)

Blade gets a MySpace bulletin from the Maestro (Stro?), advising him to do Christmas shopping with some memorabilia at some site or other. If you want to buy overpriced t-shirts with a simple picture on them, now's your chance! Of particular interest to our co-hosts is the mousepad which makes him look like he's dead. Why, I didn't even know he was sick! (Though to me he looks more like the Ghost Rider.)

Jim Ross calls (:40), still bitter on being on Smackdown and being sent overseas like RD was and being fed mushy peas and tea and crumpets and baby food, BUH GAWD! One of Blade's favorite foods is some sort of 'baby wienies', whatever the hell they are. [Vienna Sausages —iggy] But I still think you can serve them with JR's barbeque sauce. RD promises not to tell JR's wife about his pulled pork with Mickie James.

Question Statement of the Week (:46) from Frequent Questioner (and this week, an unhappy one) Ultimate Kennedy (6), shares my views of 'Nathaniel'.

SPEAKING OF Nathaniel, here he comes again. RD changed his number as a preemptive measure so he has to call him; oh the humanity. (:49) This week he's more animated than usual. Blade would rather watch the Lions lose - I of course, prefer the Habitant, who are often so erratic they make the Joker look quite sane. TNA's Turning Point is discussed amid all the noise pollution. However, this time it's somewhat slightly less annoying, mostly due to Blade having more time to actually get some words in sideways against him, and the two shouting him down. Total time: 3:30 minutes. Blade tries his own impression of RD doing his impression of Nathaniel. They fear the 12 Listeners tune out and miss the Current Wrestling News and Haiku  - which isn't that big of a deal for them to fret about. They can waste less time and just read them on this very site.

SPEAKING OF Music-less Current Wrestling Sad News: Mike Adamle is no longer on TV (:54), even though he only served one year out of a three year contract. [I think it was only a one year deal and that RD somehow mistook Mike Adamle for Ric Flair. —iggy] WWE cleaned out a portion of their roster, among them Lena Yada. Blade laments she was not named Lena Yoda.

Seventeen Syllables from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Oooh! Lena Yoda!
Business not strong in this one.
Mmmm! Fired you are!

RD: Yoda kinda sounds like he has some Angry Jim Ross in him.
Blade: So what you're telling me is Jim Ross fucked Yoda?
RD: (Yoda) Mmmm! To the Dark Side he went!

Well, if there's ever some sort of Wookie-style BBQ sauce involved in some way, then...

Minisode #125 Old Ladies at the Grocery

by iggy



November 7, 2008

RD tasted euro milk.
Blade used to work at the grocery.
Don Mason can tell time.

#frosties #warm vinegar

125 RD's European Tour: November 7, 2008

RD's European Tour
73 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

A new induction by Triple Kelly graces us this week, of Jesse Ventura interviewing 'Prince', as played by C. Thomas Howell.

RD & Blade are happy about the recent presidential election and how it turned out. Blade philosophically wonders about change and how it leads to money. (Well if you want change I suggest to put out your cup.) He makes a promise that by the end of the show we will wonder why we wasted 60 minutes of our lives listening to it. It's like he's reading my mind! RD once again compares Obama to the Rock, (:03) which means his contender for 2012 has to be Blade, or something. There's some confusion about the band Europe and the continent Europe - but hey, at least they're smarter than Sarah Palin in that regard, who anonymously thought Africa was a country. [That was a lie from a blogger. I'm sure she has heard plenty of jokes involving Niger. —iggy]

RD's TRIP to Europe is revealed to us, (:04) as Blade wonders of the continent's brothels, not surprisingly. In all, Mr. Reynolds visited France, Germany, Austria, Italy and the Netherlands. He did not however meet anybody who smelled like Salisbury steak. (:06) RD further regales us of his taxi ride from Hell (:07 - :23), including him scaring people with his criminal like behavior and his bad German. Perhaps it's secretly his Halloween costume? During this we randomly YouTube the theme to Spider-man and his Amazing Friends (:10)

Blade: That is one of the glorious things -
RD: Of this show? That it doesn't make any sense whatsoever?

http://bignippledvampire.com/ has been updated. Blade proposes that the site can help show us the proper way to have sex. Mama Deal is promised to be on the show later.

No TRIP to the Grocery/World Food Aisle this week, what with RD being in Europe and all. He did eat some Frosties with vinegar urine milk at his hotel though. (:28) I wonder if the freshness date was in German too. An old hag once fainted in front of Don...Don Mason while at the check-out line.

RD talks with his mother. (:32 - :42) When I initially heard this I thought it was Triple Kelly pretending to be his mother in some strange sort of a twisted joke. I was glad to see I was wrong on that count. She advises us not to hand out little boxes of pretzels for Halloween. Blade wants Mama Deal's popcorn balls, perhaps with razor blades. It's a lovely sense of enjoyment to listen. (And if you don't agree, what on earth is the matter with you???)

Obscure Sad News (:42) Val Venis/Sean Morley is giving his dog Jupiter away - I hope he has better success than he did with his laptop. Blade's dog once got drunk. The expected Uranus joke is made.

SPEAKING OF anus...Beetlejuice shit his pants in some sort of public outing (:50) Wow, we're really stretching it here. WrestleCrap friend Brother Midnight will make an announcement in the upcoming week - maybe he's going to appear in TNA? (:52) Speaking of TNA, 'Nathaniel' kept trying to call RD while in Europe, perhaps to try and reach his mother. That makes no sense - wouldn't his mother have noticed the large phone bills sent to her and got suspicious by the first day? Needless to say I don't buy it.

Question of the Week from Darth Who (:53) has RD and Blade discussing a WrestleCrap Celebrity Wrestling show, in the vein of Hogan's Celebrity Wrestling mentioned last week. What happened to their Carnival?

Hereeeeee's Nate, and the crowd goes mild. (:57) RD needs Excedrin when he hears his theme. What a coincidence, so do I.  Total on air time: four minutes. Look, if its any trouble, I would personally volunteer for TNA correspondent. Judging by what we get on the radio progrem it would basically involve watching no TNA at all and just wasting time on the air shooting the breeze. There, problem solved.

The HorseTrolla neighs: Mickie James was Tomb Raider Lara Croft on Cyber Sunday, but Blade disapproves of her black shorts due to not seeing her centaur ass; he prefers white. He must seriously be joking. (:64) He also calls her 'Laura'. I didn't realize Lara had a twin.

The 806th episode of Raw (:65) confuses RD and Blade who thought it was the 800th, but was actually the celebration of that (800th) milestone. (Hmmm, remind you of anyone?) Mae Young's Raw appearance could be an early Gooker contender. DX's actions with Lillian Garcia and her equine face further confuse our co-hosts.

Blade's gonna give you Seventeen Syllables:
Horsefaced Lillian.
CaballoTrolla! That's
Spanish for Horseface.

The newly deceased SD Jones is already rolling in his grave from all this. Why, I didn't even know he was sick!

Minisode #124 A Seance-Trolla Halloween

by iggy



October 24, 2008

Roddy Piper's Halloween PSAs
RD receives the Seance-Trolla
Stubby gets seanced.
Angry Jim calls
Johnny Six gets seanced.

#palsy #sandpaper

124 Weird Seance: October 24, 2008

The Big Annual Halloween Episode
85 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Halloween arrives a week early at WrestleCrap HQ, with new writings to make up for the lack of update for the following week.

If you see this thing on your doorstep,
it's Blade, and he is about to rob you.
Roddy Piper PSAs return (:03) Blade wonders on the man's virility, and then waxes nostalgic on lurking molesters. He also considers dressing up as Darth Maul for the big day. (:09) Discussion is made of wearing the costume of Village People's Leather Man. (:10) Blade wore a Darth Maul cape to play a prank on his sister (:14) RD may be Magnum P.I. Talk is made of a new induction (Diva Halloween.)

Chris Engler of the Trolla Corporation has sent RD yet another gift (:16) which turns out to be a crystal ball. (An actual ball, it's not an euphemism or anything) This is the SeanceTrolla, used for talking to those beyond this mortal coil. Expect a MySpace page of it up shortly. Don...Don Mason made a Freddy vs. Jason movie with Blade featuring stunt doubles, which is also one of the new inductions (:22) Much talk is made about it.

The SeanceTrolla activates making loud stock footage noises (:26) and when it finally calms down we hear the voice of...Stubby, of all people. Everyone misses him of course, and even his laugh track makes a return. He doesn't like it in death but at least he doesn't have Blade's hand up his ass. Blade fondly remembers him for "your jokes throughout the five episodes you were on." He makes some trademark spiels and his theme music takes him out. Blade and RD wonder on the "Supernatural apparatus" and "Evil presence" involved with their new prop.

RD's TRIP to the Grocery World Food Aisle - After discussion of weird trick or treat items, RD tries Aero Bars (:38) and sings some Aerosmith. His verdict: gritty like sandpaper (Blade's eaten sandpaper and liked it), but RD doesn't like it due to the holes inside it from 'ants'. Its SUPPOSED to be that way!

The SeanceTrolla flares up (:42) as the fallen cricket Jermaine chirps. RD understands him like Luke Skywalker does with R2-D2. RD looks for the crickets to converse to Jermaine through their own chirps, Blade recommends drawing them with a bad joke. RD: "This is the most fascinating segment ever." According to Blade we're listening to yet another Jump-The-Shark episode. Wouldn't it make more sense for this to be a Hop-The-Cricket instead?

The FaxTrolla (:47) has ONE piece of news website: Who is the WCW Halloween Phantom? The only thing we know of him is that he has a mustache. Perhaps he's actually Leather Man of the Village People?

The SeanceTrolla activates (:53) but the music changes to...Fantasy Booking Island? Mr Roarke and Tattoo make cameo appearances.

The Question Statement of the Week from Jared (:55) activates the SeanceTrolla again to bring up a vision of the Dusty Rhodes book. Blade thinks it died of a broken heart. Mention is made of RD's Jared shoot video Today's submitter listens to WCR only while high but sadly does not win any award or prize for it. Now if he were listening to it while high and having sex, then we would have a winner.

'Nathaniel' calls (:59) 'His' theme music is thought of as a bad Trolla byproduct. Amid all the crap of 'his' fast talking: TNA in HD? The SeanceTrolla thankfully stops 'him' after just 3 minutes. (:62) Blade wants Mrs. Deal to kill Nathaniel with the help of a PayPal account. The SeanceTrolla clears; of course it's Johnny 6 taped together with duct tape. "I Am Happier Dead Than Watching T N A Leave Me Alone" he says before he rolls away. You might as well call that thing the Old Segment Reanimator Trolla.

Jim Ross spends some time to call in (:68). He's angry on not being invited to Raw's 800th show, most likely to do with his Palsy face. He swears at Blade while doing so.

Music-less (still) Current Wrestling News (:72) Scant mentioning is made of the first episode of Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling. One hit wonder Tiffany was knocked out in the first round, probably due to her wearing granny panties. Blade suggests her only hit song for a theme. YouTubing of that song occurs. (Your usual commentary here.)

Blade's Moment of Seventeen Syllables:
Tiffany got cut.
What could have been beautiful?
More granny panties.

Blade thus gets a good idea of a good costume: Tiffany's granny panties. Coming soon to a cinema near you: Freddy Vs. Jason Vs. Tiffany!

Minisode #123 Trish Doesn't Like Jim's Meat

by iggy



October 17, 2008

Outdated balloons in the Macy's Parade
Don Mason called the phone sex line for companionship
RD creates bad segments like Fantasy Booking Island
Taco Bell ranch taco shell kit
Ric Flair Spotted with Bear
Angry Jim calls about Trish shilling for Burger King, and talks about Bill Watts snuggling Dark Journey

#beloved #quadruple laugh

123 Ric Flair Spotted With Bear: October 17, 2008

Ric Flair Spotted With Bear
(80 minutes)
Written by Premier Blah

We start the show with, of course, Nathaniel attempting to ring in. I have one thing to say, he's VERY persistent. RD argues with himself while Blade wishes for Peter Gazer to have an Honorable Discharge from the Navy (:02) RD tries to defend the show's wrestling veracity a bit, something that I do not really complain about. Whereupon he brings up some strange case of deja vu/old news/time warp of the Honky Tonk Man (again) nearly losing his finger before his appearance on Cyber Sunday. WWE is now charging people to vote on their hotline (:06) Don...Don Mason once called up sex lines just to talk. Don...donmason.com and uncharistmaticenigma.com have not yet been taken. Speaking of Don Mason...more fellow Crappers prefer his segments than RD's TRIP to the Grocery. (:12)

Speaking of RD's TRIP to the Grocery, delayed very slightly by RD and Blade waxing nostalgic about their earlier segments and attempts at actual wrestling news and Blade enjoying frozen dinners alongside his Miller Lite and V8 and discussion about tacos...RD tries Ranch Taco shells (:21). Blade finds it all "interesting", but somehow is slowly getting angered by their intense discussion about Taco Doritos for some reason. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Although, what's he going to do while drunk? Drive over to your house?

...

...

...

*Crickets*

OK, I deserved that. 

Obscure Wrestling News, overflowing with information this week. (As it always seems to be.) Balls Mahoney's money was stolen from his bag (:26) RD can't understand chained wallets. Ah, these kids today...Blade does his Balls Mahoney impression by reading one of his psychotically written statements where he vows to kill the thief who stole his family's sustenance. Apparently he hasn't heard of banks. Still, if I were him at least I would be thankful he didn't lose his money in the bad financial markets as of this writing.

I bet the rematch is only
available through paid DLC.
Ric Flair was spotted with a guy in a bear suit which causes our co-hosts to crack up. (:31) This leads to our Dynamic Duo YouTubing the Theme to BJ and the Bear while wondering of their anal sexual activities (with the following comment from YouTuber tracyterry: "i heard Greg fucked the fuckin monkey up the ass between takes :P". I'm willing to bet that next week will feature the Theme to either TJ Hooker or Man From Atlantis. WrestleCrap Radio, your perfect source of BJ and the Bear news! (You can find video of their escapades here. As for Ric Flair's escapades, we now have a logical reason for that.)

This Week's Interactive Segment: Dawn Marie poses with a Jokeress (or is that Harley Quinn?). (:41) Poor woman. I know she can't help that smile but she'll never live it down.

The WWE 24/7 Music unexpectedly pops up, taking RD by surprise (:43). Blade names the month after himself by the fact that they showed his first appearance on a RAW show, the one with the first mention of D-X. (coincidentally enough on an October 13th, my birth-date). Can YOU find him?

Question of the Week: More like Questioning of the Week, as RD and Blade talk with Jay Watts, the man behind (pun fully intended) bignippledvampire.com Not much to see here, but he does offer the privilege to help him with his site through his email at jaywwatts@gmail.com (:48 - :56)

Oh Emperor, Nathaniel's back for more TNA news. I know that this is all a long, long, long...long joke and all, but it will only be all worth it if we get to the ultimate punchline: Angry JR as TNA correspondent. Think about it, won't you? He takes seven minutes this time. An equally upset Blade wonders (as I do) if Johnny 6 can be rebuilt, preferably better, stronger, faster.

CM Punk will be in the Chicago Thanksgiving Day Parade (:65) Blade wonders if Mickie James would be dressed as a centaur, leading to further talk about Thanksgiving Day Parades. The second strangest segue in WCR is used here, and with good effect: Trish Stratus, Haiku Plagiariser for Burger King at meathaiku.com (and also at http://rajah.com/base/node/13884) . (:70) Her Haiku for posterity's sake:

Do yoga, eat meat
Stratusfaction guaranteed
Do the body good

The phone rings again (:73) - but it's Jim Ross thankfully, and not Nathaniel. (Skykid has made a youtube video of this phone call.) He too is angry over how our Meat Curtain Diva is hopping on the WCR rip-off bandwagon (while regaling the Dynamic Duo about Dark Journey's sexual proclivities with Bill Watts. And it looks like he wrote his own Haiku about it too. Why am I not surprised? (:79)

Trish don't like my meat.
Neither does my fucking wife.
Fuck all them bitches.

And now Jim has to get back to work on his new flavor: Canadian Hickory Barbeque Sauce. Well, if it helps make this episode go down better, I'm all for it!

Minisode #122 Nathaniel's Debut

by iggy



October 10, 2008

Stroop Koekjes
Sandman retires, Blade drinks
Nathaniel debuts
The Ratings Reaper scares Nathaniel away

#pasty #Calliope

122 Bound For Glory Holes: October 10, 2008

This Week's Rating: 1.0
(88 minutes)
Written by Premier Blah

Big celebration of TNA here at Wrestlecrap! Pac Man Jones inducted as part of the festivities, while the three Classic Inductions are all TNA related. It Came From YOUTUBE! features some weird TNA remix video with Dave Meltzer, Someone Bought This are some random T-Shirts as if sold from some TNA Garage Sale, and the Jobber of the Week is the previousy inducted Mr. X.

New Navy recruit Peter Gazer is mentioned barely one minute in. RD remarks on the bondage-themed names of TNA's PPVs, and suggests changing TNA's name to the more dignified S&M. (:03) RD already has Peter's new replacement for TNA news after a week of intensive search for the "ultimate TNA fan" for "100% wrestling news". I'm surprised the crickets didn't start chirping in response. Blade tries to sing Pat Benatar. (:07) Speaking of Blade singing karoake...he is still recording tracks with the Hobo Six as we speak. (:10) The Wrestlecrap Archive Disc Volume 2 will be ready to be pre-ordered from next week.

RD's Trip to the Grocery World Food Aisle: RD prepares for an upcoming business trip to Germany and the Netherlands by pondering the notion of a Dutch wrestler with wooden shoes (what, not a pot smoker wearing tulips? For shame!) while eating some Stroop Koekjes, literally syrup cookies (:20). Those things are delicious, let me tell you. Cue your standard quips about eating in a sexual manner.

Obscure Wrestling News/Sad News Hybrid: The Sandman retiring causes Blade to drink. (:24) RD believes Blade forgot the discussion of his son Twisted Sand starting his own wrestling career; of course RD himself forgets that that was the episode where Triple Kelly filled in for a missing Blade, so neither side is in the right here. The Warrior's ex-wife is trying to publish a tell all book about their marriage. (:28) This of course leads to a six-minute digression of Blade buying Kimberly Page's head, this week's Interactive Segment. RD wonders if Blade used the head as some sort of second foreskin/penis head, and further grinds the show to a halt by imagining the Warrior with a double-donger. Yeah, you're not missing much. Goodnight everybody!

The brother of Smackdown's Eve, AKA the Anonymous Brooke clone who won the 2007 Diva Search (yeah I don't remember her either), won $100,000 on Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?. (:38) Blade's passionate reading of her statement reminds RD of "Rambo" Greg Gagne. Here's a thought, why isn't HE on the show? License to print money I say.

Sources have told RD that the Shockmaster is getting his own action figure (:48), though whether or not royalties to George Lucas have to be paid for the stormtrooper helmet remain to be seen. (Perhaps he can be this generation's King Haiku; "Does not come with helmet as illustrated.") Dangerous Danny Davis and Trish Stratus are also getting their own figures, if you're interested.

Dream Analysis: Blade dreams of talking to Mickie James about Transformers in his moon van. (:52) I'm surprised he didn't compare her to a Ford Mustang. Don Mason once ate his own roofies. (:60) RD wonders if he even exists, forgetting entirely his role in Blade's Revenge of the Black Scorpion movie.

Speaking of people probably existing Schrödinger-style the latest TNA Correspondent Nathaniel Edward Rodham Davis, enters with the TNA intro end-tailed with an explosion. (:61) Prophetic much? For those of you unable to listen to this latest atrocity in WCR history he's essentially Randy Baer with a high-pitched geek/nerd/poindexter tone of voice. Also known as a white Urkel. It's unfortunate my Montreal Canadiens stein is not filled with some V8 and Miller Lite, I don't think I can finish this thing sober (No joke, I bought one the other day. It's really neat). Do yourself a favor and don't waste 12 [!!!] minutes of your life like I did, skip to 73 minutes and the Question of the Week.

This week's "Question" ("trapped in 2002", much like our good friends here) (:73) is again not answered interrupted by Nathaniel CONSTANTLY RINGING IN!!! Sigh. Ken the Major Danger Ranger's 4th attempt to send in a question is about referees. RD gets out of answering it by having the phone ring again. RD and Blade need Titantrons of the Crickets for the Archive Disc.

Current (and Music-less) Wrestling News: Smackdown's ratings have dropped to 1.9 (:78). Let's hope the return of the Boogeyman brings them back up. Blade remembers the good old days of wrestling when things were good and the radio progrem had not begun yet. Santino may wrestle Roddy Piper, Goldust, or the Honky Tonk Man, depending on your votes for Cyber Sundays/Taboo Tuesdays. (:82) Kelly Kelly is poised to pose for Playboy. No word on whether she'll do any handstands for the shoot though.

Seventeen barely able to Strip Syllables:
Kelly Kelly nude.
What's next? Anonymous Brooke
spreads in Beaver Hunt.

That phone ringing is going to haunt my nightmares, let me tell you.

Minisode #121 Peter Gazer Exits

by iggy



October 3, 2008

R.I.P. Moolah and MoolahTrolla
The Don Mason Trilogy
Yorkie candy bars are for girls.
Peter Gazer sends a Dear John Letter.
Angry Jim doesn't get MyNetworkTV on his giant satellite dish in the yard.

#ace bandage #paper mache

121 Tonight's Episode: Fatal Disaster: October 3, 2008

Tonight's Episode: Fatal Disaster
(69 minutes)

Blade's in bed for this one, because he decided to copy WWE by blowing out his knee (:03). Don Mason has a myspace (:08). He once molested a cabbage patch doll for some reason (:11). RD thinks of renaming the progrem as the Don Mason memorial podcast.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD eats a Yorkie, which is "NOT FOR GIRLS!" (:18), because it causes miscarriages.

Obscure Wrestling News: Jesse Ventura's getting a show on TruTV (:25), that will be canceled quickly because that's a bad idea. RD imitates Jack Palanche. The WCR Curse. Sean Waltman wants to start DeGeneration Mex in AAA, which somehow leads to Blade imitating Cosby (:27). Investigation of WCR mysteries. Norman Lear and his silly hat plan to make something of U.S. territorial wrestling in the 1970s (:33), proving that Norman Lear is senile and HBO is faltering. Shawn Stasiak has a podcast (:38) that should've been called Doctor Meat.

Question of the Week from Ismael Naji (3): This week's interactive is the Barnaby Jones opening (:45) (Barnaby Jones commentary video by Forgotten Sin; WCF 6)

TNA Peter Gazer has enlisted in the Navy (:51), which is sad news because there's a threat that this progrem will now cover actual TNA news. TNA is so bad that the spoilers are unreadable. RD vows to find "the ultimate TNA fan" to replace him.

Jim Ross calls to promote My Network TV's SmackDown (:58). He's angry because he needs some sort of satellite dish. Blade calls him out on his outdated one that was installed by his employee Dr. Death Steve Williams. "Go fuck yourself!" JR says in response.

Seventeen Syllables to Put This Show out of Its Misery:
They ripped off Trolla.
What will Nipple H steal next?
Oh fuck, the haiku.

Minisode #120 Lovin' Life

by iggy



September 26, 2008

Michelle McCool loves life.
Shelly Martinez gets fired from TNA.
Don Mason is the Uncharasmatic Enigma.
Do not go into Bob's Barn.
Ratings Reaper finally speaks
Blade recounts the The Kurt Angle Lecture.

#spin around #bombast

120 Lovin' Life: September 26, 2008

Lovin' Life, One-Twenty
(72 minutes)

Michelle McCool is loving life to start the show, and that's this week's induction (:04). (Forgotten Sin has posted RD and Blade's commentary of Lovin' Life on YouTube. Also, a fifth WC Funnies comic was made.) It's the 120th show and the show is the "longest running podcast in the history of man." (:06). bignippledvampire.com is being developed (:09). Blade remembers when RD used to want to talk about wrestling on the show, and how good Kurt Angle was (:13).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD bought Blade some Count Chocula, but it doesn't matter because Blade's K-Mart had all three Monster Cereals (:17). Blade has been drinking beer and V8 again (:20).

Obscure Wrestling News: Big Daddy V is now King V and is going to fight Sid at some Halloween-themed show (:24). The Big Nippled Vampire was released after she was stoned at a TNA function (:27). Blade wants a Dave Meltzer action figure (:28). "Big Nippled Vampire!" Blade says for her answering machine. The Big Nippled Vampire pulled her eBay date auction after fake bids pushed it to $10,000 (:37). "God bless the Big Nippled Vampire," adds Blade. New Myspace page: Angry Jim Ross (:40). Tammy Sytch has posted a YouTube video of herself as the next Lord Alfred. (:43). Blade makes a million Freudian slips in response.

Question of the Week from Todd G.: More details on Don Mason's horse-fucking story (:48) Blade calls him the Uncharismatic Enigma. TNA Peter Gazer segment starts and ends predictably (:56). RD and Blade talk about new wrestling dolls (:60). Save up your money to buy Chainsaw Charlie and Sparky Plugg this holiday season (:62). RD enjoys watching Bri Bella, but Blade doesn't understand him because he's suddenly gone deaf. (:63) The 800th episode of RAW. Someone says something about it.

Semi-Aging Haiku:
Ladder match 0-8
Shawn is at the age when old
men fall off ladders.

Minisode #119 Toothless Snake

by iggy



September 19, 2008

Jake Roberts and his dentures
4 Brawl For All matches and 6 Brother Love segments
Feelgood
Wal-Mart yanks the Monster Cereals
Angry Jim impersonates Charlie Haas
Peter Gazer wants to be filled in.

#vince viagra #dope-smokin' ghost

119 Jim Ross vs. Chin Haas: September 19, 2008

Jim Ross Impersonation
(66 minutes)

RD and Blade start out talking about wrestling, by mentioning the debut of Dolph Ziggler. This week's induction is the Brawl for All (:01), which probably would have won the Gooker Award in 1999. Jobber of the Week: The Gambler. It Came from YouTube: Ahmed Johnson choose-me jabbers.

bignippledvampire.com was registered with Global Internet by Jay Watts (:06). Blade mentions the fourth W.C. Funnies comic (:07). A "Shoot Interview" is upcoming (:10).

Blade's Trip to the Grocery: Sad News: Star-O-Saurus and the Monster Cereals have been removed from Blade's three Wal-Marts (:14). Boo-Hoo Berry.

Obscure Wrestling News: RD wants to talk about wrestling news (:18), which is a bad idea. Jake Roberts fell off the wagon (:19), or drugged, according to a stupid angle his assistant is trying. [Update 12/28/08: Jake's assistant is actually a bottle of Mrs Buttersworth syrup that he thought was talking to him.] Shelly Martinez quit TNA, to do more fetish videos or something (:27). Jackie Gayda and Charlie Haas had another child (:30).

Update 2/3/11: Jake Roberts recovered and went on to win the EWA title belt!

A suddenly angry Jim Ross calls to vastly improve the show and does his Charlie Haas impersonation (:32). (skykid has posted this call on YouTube.) Charlie Haas impersonated Jim Ross this week on Raw, a few days after last week's recap in which I said: "WWE should lift this segment.".

Question of the Week: Rowsdower says something about spraying beverages for some reason (:41). TNA Peter Gazer shows up (:43). WWE should steal him next. Sad News: No Diva Search this year (:54). Smackdown vs. Raw is to be released and WWE does not reviewers to post images of a digital HHH jobbing to anyone. (:58)

Only Seventeen Syllables Left:
Jeff, shitfaced on plane,
shitfaced seriously, and
don't call me Shirley.

Minisode #118 Olive Garden Pete

by iggy



September 12, 2008

World Food Aisle
Lion Bar is pasty.
Justin Credible is no longer Taco Bell Pete but Olive Garden Pete
Peter Gazer's music plays

#voice mail #flair horn

118 Stay Hungry: September 12, 2008

Honktrolla
(88 minutes)

RD explains the differences between WWE's Honk-A-Meter and the Wrestlecrap Clocktrolla (:02). If you've seen the Honk-A-Meter, you know that the Honk-A-Meter got no crowd reaction, while the Clocktrolla was beloved by all twelve listeners. (By the way, the Honk-A-Meter is a joke that some people don't get.) RD and Blade wonder which WCRadio segment the WWE could possibly sample next (:06), but play ZZ Top should Vince be listening.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD tries a pasty Lion Bar from the new World Food Aisle (:15). Blade says RD is acting unprofessional (:17). RD says weird Diva Maryse talked like Frenchy Martin (:18). RD "likes the idea of the Chick-fil-A cow" because it wants people to kill and eat other animals in the barnyard (:20).

Domino's Pizza has a new mascot, but it's not a rehash of The Noid, which you might remember from jokes on The Simpsons and Family Guy. It's a talking dildo that scares a family, except a boy who loves it (:25). (Watch Forgotten Sin's video of this commentary.) (B.B.M. has made a gif of the jerking portion. 1.1 MB) Blade brings up "W.C. Funnies" by Lord Soundwave (:30). RD and Blade are working on the new version of the WC Archive DVD-ROM (:34).

Photo by Sean Carless
Obscure Wrestling News: Jerry Reed and Estelle Getty died, so RD suggests having a sad news special edition of WCRadio in the future (:35). ["To update on former ECW champ Justin Credible, who made the news recently after being spotted working at Olive Garden, he is actually currently going to culinary school."] RD and Blade pitch animotronic wrestlers for WWE Pizza Palace, like Andre the Giant with a box of Honey-Comb cereal (:39). Jim Ross is on the line to discuss the Olive Garden (:42). WWE needs to lift this segment. The Tranny will release an album but it will not contain Blade's Tribute to the Tranny (:44). The Big Nippled Vampire is Women's Wrestling Worldwide championship for the fetish league. The domains bignipplevampire.com and bignippledvampire.com are still unclaimed (:51).

Horsetrolla: Someone asked Mickie James about the Arby's photos (:54). Ed Leslie can afford a horse. Blade asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time Don Mason and his grandpa stumbled upon a guy fucking a horse?" (:58) [Yes.]

Question of the Week from Smokin' Vokin': The Rock vs The Scissor vs The Paper "in a never-ending feud" (:61) They already did that with the Gang Wars. Huey the WrestleCrap Ghoul from last Halloween is loved. TNA Peter Gazer blows off RD and Blade (:66). This week's It Came from Youtube: WCW Nitro choose-me rants from a video game (:68). There are also Thunder-branded rants. This week's Someone Bought This! is Hulk Hogan-branded cheeseburgers and chicken sandwiches are in a Wal-Mart freezer near you.

Ric Flair got beat up by his daughter's boyfriend, and she got tasered (:73). Hulk Hogan is paying for Linda and her numerous frivolities. Blade liked the Braden Walker 3 Disc DVD Trailer (:80). Afa was renamed Manu. Blade's original ring name may have been Slice O'Pizza (:83). Jack Swagger has yet to have an online profile.

Seventeen syllables dedicated to Primo Colon:
Dubya E's fresh blood,
Primo Colon -- hard for a
woman to resist.

Minisode #117 Intro Themes

by iggy



August 29, 2008

One Day at a Time
Maude
Alice
Edge was slammed to hell.

#ed g #125 percent

117 One Diva a Time: August 29, 2008

One Day At A Time
"worst wrestlecrap ever" (:57)
(79 minutes)

Induction: Will Sasso vs. Bret Hart on WCW. It Came from Youtube: Blade just found out that Brother Midnight fell on hard times at the beginning of 2007. The next WCRadio is scheduled for September 12.

The theme song to One Day at a Time opens the show. (Forgotten Sin has posted this commentary on youtube. Check the sidebar for more.) (B.B.M. had made a gif of Mackenzie Phillips dancing. 1.4 MB) "In this week's new induction, Triple Kelly theorized perhaps that Bruno Sammartino and Schneider should've had a WWF title match in 1977" (:04). RD says the 12 listeners have plenty of free time. I, for one, save nearly five hours a week by skipping through the mediocre parts of WWE programs.

Blade's in a band now, because the best time to start a band with a "metal-Misfits feel to it" is when you're thirty-three (:07). RD wants to call it "Blade Braxton and the Hobo Six." WC Fantasy Football is beginning. It has been 18 years since Blade's favorite gimmick began, so he has reposted the Black Scorpion bunch as the Jobber of the Week (:11). There's still no bignippledvampire.com (:12), despite the fact that Google charges only $10 for domains. Blade dates a Diva (:16).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD finds pizza Pringles Stix in the Salty Snack aisle (:21). Blade's obsession of Taco Tico brings the show to a halt.

Obscure Wrestling News: RD says, "Never thought I'd be happy talking about wrestling news" (:24). 4-year old Blade liked getting erections for Sigourney Weaver. RD finds the themes to Maude and Alice (:28). "Wrestler's Rescue is holding TWO, separate events to help raise monies to support the health care needs of Retired Professional Wrestlers due to a career choice in wrestling." Guest-stars include some of The Bad News Bears (:33). Terri Runnels has a food session (:40). RD dates a diva (:45).

Statement of the Week from Double J: In May 2007, someone posted RD Reynolds shoots on Jared from Subway, from the February 23, 2007 show (:50). Jonathan Coachman now works for ESPN. Blade dates a diva (:53). TNA Peter Gazer flakes (:59). I like this gimmick better than him actually showing up. RD dates a deever (:63). Misses Deal gets Jim Ross on the line to talk about his BBQ Sauce (:65).

Blade says, "that overly-critical guy at wrestlecrap.blogspot.com ... is going to tear this thing a new asshole" (:69). RD and Blade compare the WWE Universe to the Masters of the Universe (:71).

Seventeen Syllables to Get Twelve Listeners Off:
Mick's in TNA.
Wow, golly. His debut ra-
tings? Still 1.O.

Minisode #116 Titanic Redemption

by iggy



August 22, 2008

Titanic Redemption machine
Blade explains Red Beer
wrestlecrap dot blogspot dot com

#vodka #trollastein

116 The Purge Continues: August 22, 2008

WWE's Purge Continues
(74 minutes)

This week's Induction: Jillian Hall's mole. It Came From YouTube: Snitsky's incomprehensible Amsterdam phonebook commercial. Someone Bought This: Nunzio Elf Costume... "signed" in BLOCK LETTERS, as mentioned before. Click here to bid on the part of Regal's suit that was ripped by Jamie Noble and can't be used again.

The show opens with Blade thanking people for synching the interactive parts of WCRadio to video on YouTube, like last week's Tarzan Boy, which was created by Forgotten Sin. RD suggests that this site you're reading right now can be "a little critical" (:03).

Raw beat Monday Night Football last week, which would be impressive if this was before the year 2000 and if it wasn't a mid-August pre-season game (:05). Blade threatens to write ad copy for Angry Marks (:11).

RD met Kofi Kingston and Victoria last Friday night (:13). Victoria talked about custom cycles and Kofi signed RD's BW3 menu that lists the Caribbean Jerk Sauce (:19).

RD's Trip to The Mini-Golf Mini-Park: Titanic redemption machine (:23).

Sad News: Highlanders released (:27).

Obscure Wrestling News: RD doesn't get Umaga, (:29) who has gone into "FATAL ERROR" business with Charlie and Jackie Haas (:32). Brian Christopher was kicked out of rehab (:35). Horsetrolla: Lillian Garcia is 42 (:37).

Sad News: Colin Delaney released (:40). Tony Atlas "rocked" a sleeveless shirt this week (:42).

Question of the Week from Premier Blah (2): The Blade Hits the Bottle music is discussed [and the segment actually gets an answer, from me no less. PB] (:45).

Sad News: Stevie Richards released and for once, it truly is sad (:50). TNA should hire him and cut Scott Steiner. TNA Peter Gazer no-shows for the third time in four weeks.

Dream Analysis: Blade dreams of Neve Campbell getting sexually assaulted by an assassinated Vince McMahon (:59).

Sad News: Cherry released (:64).

In regards to the "Championship Scramble," RD correctly comments, "what a stupid match that is" (:70). Make that two matches. [...three. Maybe the creative team has been suspended for 30 days. --ed.]

Seventeen Syllables About One of My Favorite Nitro Girls of All Time:
Whisper's big fat lip.
She's had fat lips ever since
she had Shawn's love spawn.

Minisode #115 Blade's Noisy Beard

by iggy



August 15, 2008

Pop-Tart knock-knock
Blade's beard makes all that racket
Peter Gazer Debuts
Baltimora interactive

#berry boo #no longer with us

002-BETA The Lost Episode (Mommy's Milk)

The Lost Episode
Al Capone's Second Vault
((( recorded in over-modulated fidelity ))) (42 minutes)

This is RD and Blade's first attempt to produce the second episode of WrestleCrap Radio. Blade says RD wanted a do-over because of sound quality, but the final version is just as bad.

RD prepares himself for the show by drinking out of his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. This does not help to improve the quality of the show though.

The Co-Hosts receive more love from Get In The Ring for their upcoming appearance.

RD talks about that week's Raw. Hey, I remember these attempts at jokes!

The listener can't help but appreciate the then-future strategy of refusing to talk about wrestling. Big Show vs the Heart Throbs has zero nostalgic value.

RD: "That's the thing I love about those James Bond movies, it's that they're so subtle. You know, we make fun of, like, WWF, WWE, and Beaver Cleavage, you know what I mean? But that is like so subtle compared to 'ummm, yes, what's your name?' 'My name is Pussy Galore.' 'I must be dreaming, nhmm hmm hmm hmm.'"

This year's Diva Search wasn't funny. RD brings up the hot dog eating contest which makes Blade mention what he saw One Night In China. The winner of the Search, one Ashley Massaro, looks like she has a mustache "like a tranny" (Their words.). (:17) This is compared to another contestant who looks like an insect and another who looks like a 70's TV character.

RD admits that WrestleCrap Radio is a glorified phone call.

Nineteen minutes in, Tee Hee Tickle Party is in full effect.

SummerSlam will have at least some (Wrestle)Crap: the Eddie's kid on a pole match. Perhaps Hunter can adopt him. RD's PSA (:20): Don't solve parental disputes in the ring. RD also likes JBL's promos.

Blade suggests that Shawn Michaels give Hulk Hogan some of mommy's milk during their match. (I'm surprised he didn't do this during his face heyday in the 80s.) (:22) Blade then hits some 'haiku music'.

Seventeen Syllables of Slobber-Knocking: (:25)
Shawn Michaels, Hulkster,
SummerSlam's big main event.
Will Hulk's Depends leak?

RD laughs so hard he spills milk all over his keyboard.

Some things happen for the next fifteen minutes. In honor of Dusty Rhodes in talks with WWE RD is planning to give away his autobiography to anyone who submits a good Question of the Week. The first question, from Andrew is Good, asks about wrestlers RD has met in person. Blade once met Coach at a bar. RD doesn't believe him. Crazy Rose's question is read and promptly discarded.

While wondering about potential WCR guests, Dennis Stamp is explained. Tony Atlas wanted money to appear in the WrestleCrap book. RD doubts Vince would call him up to return to WWE (:37), and we all are glad RD was incorrect. A Tee Hee Tickle Party closes the show as it just falls apart.


To improve the quality of this recap, here is the intro to Heathcliff, as well as Gummi Bears. Listen to those vocals!

I want to hear Blade sing the chorus of St Elmo's Fire.

115 Purge Roulette: August 15, 2008

WWE Purge Roulette
(88 minutes)

Can you term calling into the show 'crashing'?
The bizarro Lost Episode has been posted in celebration of the third anniversary of WrestleCrap Radio. Poor old Glen Jacobs is the subject of another induction, Fake Kane. This one puts him in the Five Timers Club with Hulk Hogan, Sting, Jake the Snake, and the Ultimate Warrior.

The show has a new sponsor, the HOTT line (:12).

Sad News: Nick Patrick was released (:18).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Blade got sick from blue milk (:24). RD implies he could replace Blade with knock knock jokes printed on Pop Tarts (:27).

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade wants bignippledvampire.com for Xmas. She'll be on this fall's America's Sex Symbol (:31). Trevor Murdoch changed his name to Trevor Murdock after being released by WWE (:36). The Tranny will return to stripping. Blade asks, "What is that phrase where you know like you never stray too far from something?" (:39) I think it's "You can't go home again." [Wasn't it "how the mighty have fallen?" - PB] Blade forgot his Myspace log-in (:40). Matt Morgan will have his DNA sent into space (:44), presumably so that aliens can produce an army of clones to conquer Earth. RD and Blade will be in a comic book (:45).

Sad News: Nunzio was released (:48), and Braden Walker (:51), and Shannon Moore (:53). WWE should announce the next batch of releases during Raw like draft picks. Question of the Week from Terry Brass: Blade's beard makes noise (:55). TNA correspondent Peter Gazer exists (:60). Unfortunately, this dusty character stopped being edgy twenty years ago.

Sad News: Domino released (:71). RD youtubes Tarzan boy (:73). Randy Orton estimates he bounced and rolled off his motorcycle for the length of a football field (:78). (Big Daddy) Viscera released and made to be a cannibal (:80).

SummerSlam is this Sunday and here's RD and Blade's entire discussion about it: (crickets).

Third Anniversary Haiku:
We've made it three years--
The age kids get potty trained.
We'll still piss our pants.

114 Hot or Not: August 8, 2008

Talking Wrestling with Mom
(74 minutes)

Despite being posted for months on the WrestleCrap Radio myspace, the live appearance listed below was never booked:
August 8, 2008 at 8 P.M.
Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre
Kissimee, FL

It's gonna be one dandy of a jam-up time. All your favorite Cher and Hall & Oates songs will be performed live onstage by RD & Blade. Just added to the bill!!!!! A poetry reading by John Thomas from Meridian Chase Mastercharge, and a special inspirational spoken word performance from B.M. Punk.


This week's blurb for WrestleCrap update:
Because you demanded it...PAUL CHRISTY IS BACK! This time our favorite wrestling magician-hypnostist-rapist is featured in It Came From YouTube. Thrill as he deep throats a microphone! Plus...New Induction! New Someone Bought This! And a Brand New WrestleCrap Radio...but Blade is missing! Never fear, though - RD and Triple Kelly are on hand to tackle all the news AND give our long lost hobo a musical tribute!


Are your expectations lowered yet? Well, it's still summer, so go outside or something.

As always, WrestleCrap Radio's recommended play speed is 2x.

Blade is passed out so in his place 3Kelly plays Hot or Not (:05). RD implies that the Brooklyn Brawler is gay (:11).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD searched for Peanut Butter Toast Crunch (:13). 3Kelly's Weekly Trip to the Goodwill to Search for LPs and VHS: Jumpin' Jack Flash soundtrack (:23) and Trees Talk Too (:30).

Happy 75th, Cap'n Lou!
Obscure Wrestling News: Stacey Keibler is on a publicity tour for her role in the miniseries Samurai Girl. (:32) The Sandman went to Captain Lou Albano's 75th birthday party and got arrested (:34) while his son has begun wrestling as Twisted Sand (:38). I guess if he teamed with Lance Storm's kid, they could call themselves Sandstorm. Torrie Wilson is getting back into wrestling (:43). Glens Falls, New York, is celebrating their resident son Hacksaw Jim Duggan. (:44) A 101 year old woman won tickets to a WWE showing. (:48)

Horsetrolla: Someone spotted a Mickie James Roast Beef sign at SNME (:51). Question of the Week happens (:54). Primetime (3) thinks Santino should be women's champion. The Diva Belt has a vagina on it.

The new TNA correspondent, Pete, is, perhaps, a myth. 3Kelly watches Urkel rather than Impact (:59) -- URKEL . . . . IN 2008. COULD TNA SUCK THAT BAD?!?

TNA has a game for mobile phones. The CableFAX Program Awards are all a work. (:61) Ric Flair has left WWE. (:64)

Long lost hobo "musical" tribute.

Minisode #113 Paul Christy

by iggy



August 1, 2008

Paul Christy
RD camped out at Chick-Fil-A
Honky Tonk Man cut his finger
Superstar Billy Graham channels Satan

#woman #sexual #alright

113 Christyanity: August 1, 2008

Paul Christy Owns Shopping Centers
(74 minutes)

Prolonged discussion of magician and wrestling talk show participant Paul Christy. Buy his book!


Paul Christy's One Ring prepares to consume Gene.
RD's Trip to the Restaurant: Blade misses the music compilation commercials (:09). RD won one year of Chick-Fil-A food by waiting in line outside overnight for twelve hours (:12), during which RD did some more corn-holin' (:20). Don Mason worked at Hooters one time and was once stung by a centipede.

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade is 33 but wants to be on American Idol (:25). Honky Tonk Man's finger was injured doing a stupid guitar smashing thing with dopey teenagers in a parking lot (:28). Blade reads an email by Superstar Billy Graham (:33). A cop involved in the Even Colder Mike Austin case was fired after he stole evidence money from it. (:38) Brooke Hogan is an idiot when it comes to the presidential election. (:41)

Sad News: WWE went to Texas yet had no ZZ Top cameo (:45). Fear not for their health, ZZ Top seemed to be touring Europe at the time, and you can probably catch them at a state fair near you. HorseTrolla: Mickie James has odd nude photos (:47). Ricky Steamboat Junior, who once rode a pony at WCW Wrestle War '89, debuted for Premiere Wrestling Showcase (:53). His father's theme song is questioned. Question of the Week from Primetime (2): The Lions last won a championship in the 1950s (:55).

TNA News: A no-show for the new TNA correspondent (:61).

Freddie Prinze Junior is on the writing staff of WWE (:63). WWE Films is now WWE Studios, so RD & Blade suggest sitcoms the studio can produce. This Week's Someone Bought This is Vickie Guerrero's wedding dress (:68), and next week's could be Nunzio Signed/Worn Elf Costume. Mike Adamle is Raw G.M.

Seventeen Syllables For Ya:
G.M. Adamle--
What on earth could be better?
G.M. Paul Christy.