Minisode #196 Bicentennial Popcorn Bucket

by iggy



May 20, 2011

RD has a WWE Niagra Falls t-shirt.
Bicentennial Memories
Ron Keel went country.
The CrapHole debuts.
New sponsors.
Bob Griese wore glasses.
Rockin' Robin sings.
Blade has a Jim Hellwig impression.
Maria and Tiffany may dance on a bar.
Ric Flair wrestled 100,000 matches?
Honky Tonk Mail Man breaks news about 2-21-11.
Angry Jim Ross gets teased.
Kelly Kelly achieves a life-long goal.
Michael Hayes is unchained.
Joanie Laurer is back.

#three times the action #right to rock

I kinda like that Freebirds song.

Random Thoughts from the Office: May 20, 2011

It is a sad day to be a wrestling fan. The news came through this morning of the death of "Macho Man" Randy Savage, a man who was almost iconic in wrestling terms as it was hard pressed to find a person who actually wasn't entertained by him; whether it was his crazy rambling promos, his great in-ring work or just his general character and demeanor. "Macho Man" never failed to entertain people in the WWE or WCW.

I personally was a massive Savage fan from the moment he debuted in WWE. From the moment he started you could tell that he was going to be something big because he made himself stand out, whether it was by his promos or bringing in the beautiful Elizabeth to be his manager or just standing up to the babyfaces of the time. Savage got over faster than he really had a right to and he was quickly moved into a showdown with the biggest superstar of the company. Hulk Hogan.

But that first series is forgotten a lot primarily because it didn't last very long, and it didn't last very long because for the first time in his brawls with superstars, Hogan wasn't a virtuous babyface. Some people actually cheered Savage instead of Hogan. It can be argued then that Savage was the first "Cool" bad guy, ten years before groups like the nWo and individuals like Stone Cold Steve Austin came along. Savage was something different, something out of the mold and that made him someone you wanted to see, even if you hated him.

The cut abrupt feud didn't faze Savage and he soon went on to win the Intercontinental title from Tito Santana, and over the course of the next year he defended it against all comers in great matches night after night. With all due respect to guys like Santana and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine who'd held the belt before Savage, Savage was the first man who made you believe the IC title meant something more than just a midcard belt just to get guys over. When Savage held the title he kept working hard and slowly the IC title became just as revered a belt as the then WWF title held by Hogan, to the point where superstars of today like Chris Jericho have openly said they didn't want to be the WWF champion, they wanted to be the Intercontinental champion.

Of course it all culminated at Wrestlemania 3 in the Pontiac Silverdome. It was a match that many still consider one of the top five matches in Wrestlemania history - some 24 years after the event -  as Randy Savage put the gold on the line against Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat, the man he saw as his greatest threat, the man he tried to put out of wrestling for good by draping his throat over a barricade. The two created a masterpiece, filled with high flying moves, technical wrestling, false finish after false finish to the point when not one of the fans in attendance was sitting down. A lot of people think that was Steamboat's moment, I think it was Savage's, but in essence we're both right; the point of any good feud is to have both stars walk out more over than when they walked in. And that was definitely the case with Savage and Steamboat.

Then we came to Wrestlemania 4 and the story of Savage's run through the tournament. He had to wrestle 4 times, his last two against men coming off the bye. Yet despite overwhelming odds, Savage won the WWF title and cemented his legacy as one of the all time greats.

But perhaps my favorite Randy Savage moment was the time when the Megapowers exploded, the buildup to Wrestlemania V. The thing is though if you look back objectively at the scenario Savage was right: Hogan was making eyes at Elizabeth, he never asked for a title shot and he did kind of leave Savage hanging on more than one occasion. I would've whacked Hogan too but Savage took it to that next level by being that crazy sort of person, blinded by jealousy and rage that his friend was trying to steal his woman, that he built up the feud to the point where Wrestlemania V actually became one of the most underrated Wrestlemanias of all time.

I could go on and on but I guess I have to leave it on what was the probably most emotional moment in WWE history, Wrestlemania 7 and the career match against the Ultimate Warrior. Not only did Savage pull a great match out of Warrior, arguably the greatest of Warrior's career, but the whole storyline of Elizabeth being there and saving Savage from Sherri, Savage finally realizing he'd been wrong all these years and welcoming the one person who'd been with him no matter what back into his life and into his heart. Wrestling do great storylines folks, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. There wasn't a dry eye in the arena that night and when Savage "married" Elizabeth at Summerslam 91 in the "Match made in Heaven" it was a feelgood moment we as wrestling fans could all share in and enjoy. Of course Jake "The Snake" Roberts fucked it all up leading to another epic feud, but that's another story.

Wrestling has had "Great Ones", "Phenoms" even people who were "Perfect" but only one could ever truly be described as "Macho". Hopefully he gets the credit due him in death that he didn't get when he was alive.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

196 A Medley of Musical Madness: May 20, 2011

85 minutes

Is it me, or is RD more attractive in a wig?
Blade is ill this week; but rather than sound like the Penguin like he normally does, this time he sounds almost drunk. He's also forcing himself not to be as crude as he normally is. RD meanwhile has his WWE Niagara Falls...shirt on, and is reduced to answering questions on his Facebook wall. More shilling of this very site ensues. Blade wants he and RD to wear powdered wigs for their bicentennial 200th episode.

The Fruitcakes finally have their new forum thanks to Sean Carless, the Craphole. (:09) Go look at it now, I'll wait. Hell, Clarence and I are mods over there. If you read this, say hi to us over there. We might give you an e-cookie or something. (I'm still going to be around the old site though, and you should check out the Freakin' Awesome Network if you have some spare time on your hands.)

RD is guessing that their sponsorship deal thingy with Global Internet is somewhat strenuous right now (it's like one of those cyclic graph things with the line going up and down in waves; right now the number is low) so he searches for a new sponsor to take their place. This week on the Sponsor Roulette (:16), we get promotional consideration from Hulk Hogan Vitamins (Blade can't hear the children on it properly), Lord Alfred for Mr. Freeze Freeze-a-bars (though thankfully without any bad puns being made), and Lord Alfred shillingreallyreallyreallyfastforhislifeforsomereasonfor Double Dragon 3.

:21 RD has to explain the Trip to the Grocery. White Castle is now accepting online orders. (What are they, Domino's?) RD has to explain White Castle with reference to Bob Griese. It's a fast food franchise. What more do you want to know? RD posts on the new forum for the first time.

:31 On Primetime Wrestling this week from WWE On Demand the Megapowers explode through a verbal debate with Rockin' Robin. Speaking of exploding the Ultimate Warrior is working on some music project with Steven Adler, formerly of Guns 'n' Roses (:36) Hmmm...unless he's painting album covers while Adler does all the actual musical work I'm not buying it. I mean, Warrior would spend at least half an hour between songs talking as he usually does. This all leads to the logical nostalgia of Rockin' Robin singing as well as the Warrior does on an average day.

The Big Nippled Vampire is appearing in a Smashing Pumpkins music video. Wait...the Pumpkins are still making music? And music videos??? It's probably just an excuse for Billy Corgan to hit on her. Hell, perhaps she's in the band now which would give him an excuse to do that. That wouldn't be more surprising than the news we actually get.

The Midnight Rose is to be back on TV, which gives RD an excuse to play Tony's Theme again. I look forward to the day they play Push it to the Limit and make me hallucinate I'm playing a Grand Theft Auto game with the radio progrem as part of the soundtrack. On that same track, the Rose's imaginary girl Maria is on a party tour at Baltimore, which is not to be confused with Baltimora and Tarzan Boy. The Fruitcakes randomly discuss Easter eggs that can be 'found' on their DVDs as a result

The HorseTrolla has Sad News: (:48) Blade missed seeing Mickie James, Becky Bayliss, and Betsey Russell at Detroit. It's almost becoming a habit with him. RD thinks Betsey doesn't have long for this world so Blade needs to fuck her as quickly as she can before she becomes sick.

:55 You know the recording is taking too long when Blade's phone dies and he has to get a replacement. RD reads a question from Keil Williams (not to be confused with the band Keel) about Ric Flair, secretive Time Lord. (Why do you think he's still in the ring after all these years?)

:62 The Honky Tonk Mailman pays a visit. Hey, remember him? I sure don't. Sadly, in his hiatus between appearances he didn't bother to upgrade his Skype connection because it still keeps cutting out every now and then. According to him, Sting will appear in WWE in...February. You know, if the Fruitcakes want more timely news they should get him to ship in Express. He also has news about the Dark Journey $5 Priority stamp. Apparently made in Soviet Russia because the stamp licks you. Jim Ross calls in to see if he can get one. (:68)

:69 The Fruitcakes waste time by going over Maxim's latest Hot 100 List. Yawn. According to Blade's excited reading of her statement, Kelly Kelly is excited to chart the list at #82....only to be beaten by former Diva Stacy Keibler ten spots above her. That's so representative of the whole current Diva roster isn't it?

In case you were wondering (and you were probably weren't) about the irreverence of such Lists as these, the top spot at the list is taken by a Victoria's Secret lady who's currently replacing Megan Fox in the upcoming Transformers: Bark at the Moon. (At least, I think that's what the title is. Didn't we already see this in this year's Doctor Who series?) It just goes to show how explosively vapid the whole thing is; you could replace any of the actors with some random nobodies and it wouldn't change the gaseous (and explosive!) substance of the movie one bit. That being said, the always awesome Leonard Nimoy IS going to be voicing Sentinel Prime, so take that for what it's worth. (His second wife is a direct relative of Michael Bay.)

Michael Hayes is now a wrestling manager. (:78) RD remembers his terrible theme song he had when he was with the Fabulous Freebirds. Wasn't it usually a rite of passage though those days to have your own awful theme song? It's most definitely nothing new. An 'invasion' is being planned for June 21st. The fact that they're randomly just dropping this news here at the end of the show without much explanation says wonders for what they think of it or what the turnout will become. So, don't hold your breath for anything to happen just yet.

You know what is even worse? Joanie Laurer in TNA as Jeff Jarrett's (transvestite?) lover.

Seventeen Syllables to expand on that:
Chyna the mistress.
Sorry, I'd rather bang Ar-
nold's fat ugly one.

Blade: "End the show now."

You have to be kidding me. Just 75 cents? ($18.75)