Minisode #098 Cards for Matilda

by iggy



March 26, 2008

RD & Blade's first show (1988)

#slapped me #upside the head

(098) WrestleRadd Radio: March 28, 2008

WrestleRadd Radio ("Do you put it in the nipple?")
(52 minutes)

It's the eighth anniversary of WrestleCrap.com and Blade is reminded of Billy Joel.

In March 1988, RD and Blade made their first WrestleCrap radio tape. Despite never meeting until a few years ago. Despite living hundreds of miles away. Despite the lack of an internet. Despite RD being 19 and Blade being 13. Despite the phone and/or cassette static being AM radio static.

No wonder 'current' Blade is afraid of a cartoon character on a cereal box and calls him King Pedophile.

[I also like the fact that when Blade is diverted by John Thomas making a house call, he 'matures' back to his normal speaking voice, then when John leaves remembers he's supposed to be 13 and goes back to his 'falsetto'. Really realistic, huh? - PB]

WrestleMania Haiku:
WrestleMania.
No smartass haiku this week.
Thank you, Nature Boy.

Minisode #097 Krankor versus Blade

by iggy



March 14, 2008

Krankor speaks
Linda Hogan's milk
Chyna's Celebrity Circus

#lactose tournament #milano

097 Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton: March 14, 2008

Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton
(77 minutes)

Unexpectedly, the show begins with wrestling news: Jeff Hardy pulled a Blade Braxton and was suspended for sixty days for violating the wellness policy.

For more information, skip ahead seventy minutes.

RD and Blade imitate Lord Alfred. Blade did color commentary on a shaky bootleg of a Whiplash Wrestling match, Jude Vice vs Brian Jacobs. Jude is the one wearing white tights. Whiplash Wrestling's official site is hosted by the fine folks at tripod.com.

Blade: "I bet Vickie Guerrero knows how to fuck."
RD: "I guarantee you that's not on the Observer this week."

No 24/7 (Week 6) (:13) as RD went to Atlanta for his job to stay in a paper-thin walled hotel with mirrors all over its bathrooms, and saw a Dwarf House Chick-fil-A. It's essentially a restaurant with an expanded Chic-Fil-A menu.

The Faxtrolla fires out obscure wrestling news at the 24-minute mark. Damien Demento has a rather confusing response to RD and Blade. RD thus thinks they have won the battle by default. Matt Morgan is an American Gladiator. Sean Morley (Val Venus) is selling his Mac Powerbook. Well, he TRIED to. All that work for 271 page views and zero bids.

Who Bangs Better with Blade Braxton (March Madness): A debate rages over who lactates more: Nathan Jones or Linda Hogan. (:39) Blade insists that everyone see the two-minute commercial for The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express instead of trying Hulk Hogan's contraption. (:42) The Crickets want to move out of WC HQ. Joanie Laurer's latest reality show is called "Celebrity Circus". She'll play the Bearded Lady. (:48)

The Question of the Week segment occurs. (:50) Shane Dillon has a trick question for the Co-Hosts. Blade wants to sire children with Alyssa Milano and doesn't like the Double Fillet of Fish. RD saw A Clockwork Orange by mistake. [Great film though. - PB]

RD summons Johnny 6 for TNA news, (:55) which consists solely of the fact that an audience member was hit by a fish during a Dudley Boyz match. "Thank God Lent Is Over Soon," he says cryptically, prompting the Crickets to answer.

Sixty-two minutes into the show, the "current wrestling news scene" is discussed. A bait-and-switch at Raw leaves many mad. It is revealed that the ECW title is as valuable as a super sized combo meal from McDonald's.

Blade Braxton's Wrestling Haiku:
Hardy and Ashley
The correct phrase is Just Say
No, not just say blow.

RD proclaims, "That is the worst ending ever."

Minisode #096 WCR Gets A Man Fired

by iggy



March 7, 2008

Blade as Bill Apter interviews Blade as Jim Ross
WCR and the Big Nippled Vampire gets a Vancouverite fired.
Johnny Six
Floyd Mayweather
The coolest McMahon
The Corn Oil Guy
Egg Hunt at the Funeral Home

#hanging upside down #hatch the egg

096 Home Cooking: March 7, 2008

"The roast beef corn oil vagina of radio shows."
(64 minutes)

RD and Blade declare that Damien Demento got crapped. Youtube hosts their seven minute video, in which Lord Alfred Hayes "played the role of a balloon."

ED GE's current escort, Vickie Guerrero, apparently has a thing for men named Ed G. (:09)

Blade and RD begin to re-enact "Wrestletalk with Bill Apter and Ric Flair." (:11) The intent was for Blade Apter to ask a simple inane question, then RD Flair would discuss fashion for six minutes and then go down the roster and mock every other wrestler. RD requests that Blade impersonate Bill Apter and Jim Ross. Blade begins to do it. (:16)  Somehow that leads to RD praising last week's WWE 24/7 (Week 5) in which the British Bulldogs were featured. (:17) Blade likes "vintage Matilda action." RD plays dogs barking Jingle Bells.

RD points out that The Undertaker has been 15-0 at WrestleMania but many of the matches have been awful. These were his opponents: aging Jimmy Snuka, out-of-shape Jake the Snake, immobile Giant Gonzales, King Kong Bundy, Diesel, Sycho Sid, Kane, Boss Man, HHH, Flair, Big Show and Albert, Kane again, Orton, Mark Henry, and Batista.

The Faxtrolla spits out obscure wrestling news. (:21) The Iron Sheik is now available for parties. He'd be scarier than a clown. Jessica Hatch was in Maxim's Hometown Hottie contest. (:27) Does that mean she's only super hot when compared to other Houstonians? Blade and RD reminisce about the time they suggested that they should talk to her about maybe wanting to take a picture of their faces on each side of her ass. Heat celebrated 500 episodes, which is indeed obscure wrestling news. (:30) Talk about Shane McMahon leads to another instance of Don Mason using cornoil. Jeff Goldblum as the Fly.

RD says, "We would make the world a better place if we went around putting eggs on top of old ladies' heads."

The Question of the Week this week is a sad non-question letter. (:38) Brandon From Edmonton lost his job because he fell asleep at work while listening to RD and Blade discuss "a big-nippled vampire." I say if you can't sleep at work, then you don't want that job anyway. Blade responds by referencing Mickey James' Arby's roast beef. (:43)

Someone on the forums invites the Co-Hosts to his wedding. (:46)

Johnny 6 makes a cameo appearance. . . . (:48) RD says, "Never commit statutory rape...We used to be the Apple Dumpling Gang of internet radio shows. Now we're like the roast beef corn oil vagina of radio shows." Johnny 6 insults Blade. "I Didn't Know Blade Wanted To Be A Gay Wrestler."

WWE.com now has industry news. (:56) WrestleCrap's new goal is to be cited as a source on that web page, and Johnny 6 as a correspondent.

Blade Braxton's Seventeen Syllables on Money Mayweather:
Money Mayweather--
his boxing skills are cash, pro-
mo skills are welfare.

Minisode #095 Coney Sauce

by iggy



March 1, 2008

Blade is at WrestleCrap HQ
King Vitaman has no taste
Eight pound bag of Coney Sauce
Johnny Six

#wrestlingcrips #wrestlingbloods

095 Demento v. "WrestlingCrip.com": March 1, 2008

Demento v. "WrestlingCrip.com"
(77 minutes)

Blade Braxton is in studio. The Gimmick Table has returned.

Damien Demento, courageous YouTube shooter, has called out "WrestlingCrip.com." RD and Blade provide commentary for Demento's video. (:06 - :11)

24/7 Week 4 Blade's Trip to the World's Worst Grocery Store, the Kroger in Indianapolis off Route 31 (:15): Blade has purchased a box of King Pedophile. He has a new look but his jokes are WCR-quality. RD also has fantastic news. He has purchased a bag of Coney Sauce.

RD has received a Clocktrolla (i.e. an actual clock that keeps actual time). It twitches like Candice Michelle on the mat.

Obscure Wrestling News (:31): Mick Foley was at a charity event. Twisted Sister was there but did not sing Burn In Hell. Blade begins to sing Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Great White.

Hulk Hogan has a new home at the Palms Palace Suites. (:38) The Zombie was trying to win money in a contest on Howard Stern and RD and Blade wonder if he rode the Sybian. Jeff Goldblum as the Fly. Victoria has a car or something. (:45)

In the Question of the Week segment from Austin Gilliam, (:50) RD says his main enemy is no longer Jared from Subway, it's Damien Demento. Jessica Alba is orange.

Johnny 6 has broken out of the bathroom that Blade had locked, insults him, and leaves. (:54) RD and Blade check out Johnny's nonmasculine myspace page. We are indirectly Rickrolled.

WWE is looking for slogans. (:60) RD suggests, "We Will Never Entertain You." Blade wants, "It's Like A Monkeys Tea Party." A jealous John Cena wants the Rock to return to wrestling. Blade points out that the Rock now weighs about 160 pounds. Cena has no hemorrhoids. (:68) ESPN Classic is airing AWA shows. Singing Taz. RD mimics Kermit singing It Ain't Easy Being Green. Maria has done a centerfold.

Wonderful Haiku (with Johann and Sebastian):
Maria's Playboy.
How could it be high fashion?
Bowtie on her bush.