Episode 39: Holy Blackbeard!: May 1, 2022

Walk the Straight and Narrow
"Batman and Robin escape their previous peril and are back in action seeking to foil the Archer and his gang. After pulling off a counterfeit job, the villains head for their boat, planning to take their loot safely to Switzerland. The Dynamic Duo set off in the Bat boat to try to stop their escape."
63 minutes

"RD-President Mr. Dale Fan Club" is pleased by Vince's pronunciation of the word 'archer'. Vince took a while to realize Archer was actually from Brooklyn. RD is ashamed they had already forgotten Pauline.

Male Pattern Baldness Robin is already present 25 seconds into the day's episode. RD was compelled to look him up as then 39 year old Victor Paul who did a heck of a lot of work over a 55 year career on film and TV. Vince applauds his knowledge. 

Vince: "Strapped to poles."
RD: "Something you may have booked."

Batman muses "there's no place to go but up" before the two use their Batsprings in their shoes to launch them to stratospheric orbit and then bounce around.
Batman: "We've got your number, Archer!"
Archer: "Impossible, my dear Sheriff of Gotham-ham! My number's unlisted!"
Then Marilyn accidentally breaks his "ego making" sound machine, causing the villains to flee. The Duo free themselves from their bonds to secure Alfred.

Cut to Dale's office where he sits at his desk using a feather quill pen. (:14) RD laments he was not a recurring character on the show. Dale is too busy with his writing to notice the Duo in his office until they cough to get his attention and a "mmmmm." In closed teeth: "I like that cape, Batman. Very chic. Wash and wear?" Batman asks him about Bruce's money (coming "fresh from the government"), suspicious of his activity since his mouth doesn't move.

In Archer's new lair under Police HQ he laments Marilyn not speaking as they do despite their coming from the same Brooklyn neighborhood. RD bemoans the police's constant incompetence. Dale comes in with a knock on the door to tell them through his teeth that Bruce's money is in transit in exchange for his share. Archer: "Sticky wicket! Howest speak in thee unique vernacular!" (Perhaps he speaks that way because he too is from Brooklyn.)

They ambush the armored car with crooked arrows to go around the weak points and hit it with gas and smoke. This forces the security out while still leaving the keys inside, so that Marilyn can just go and take it. Yet when the car is later found the money is still inside.

RD wonders why Vince keeps defending the police despite how terrible they are at their job. 

"Eight hours later" at Stately Wayne Manor Gordon calls Bruce to remind him to give away the money at a charity event. (:28) He also tells him the Duo will be there. Bruce has "always wanted to meet them" despite having already done so several times already. He and Dick blow off a line-less but bra-wearing Aunt Harriet who gives them the eye on the way to the Batcave with Alfred. The butler almost goes down the Batpoles before he realizes he can't do that and takes an alternative route.  Bruce does not change into his outfit as he is supposed to meet himself.

Dale is also at the event with Bruce, relieved through his teeth that the money is safe. "It wasn't any help to those two up there," and he points to the Duo of Bat-Alfred and Robin on a roof. RD thinks Alfred fits the suit pretty well. Vince agrees although the shot wasn't very flattering. He also didn't paint over his mustache like Cesar Romero. 

The event is run by Gordon's fraternity colleague Marshall Roland, "Commissioner in charge of poor people". Oh, so he's a homeless camp chief. Despite the offer of donating $10 million in moneybags (individually in single bills) only 20 recipients show up. The first person up takes out his magnifying glass to see it is blatantly counterfeit with the Archer's face on the bill, and calls on his peers to riot. 

Bruce rushes to the "insurance office" as Gordon calls on the Duo for their help. On their way down Bruce gives Alfred his Batspeech Imitator, which he uses from a (social) distance of 100 feet since he has a cold. (Good thing he also has a mask.)
Gordon (to Robin): "Tell him to get some relaxation, and make sure to eat all his veg-e-tables."

The Duo exit, leaving Bruce with Dale worrying about his job, then all of a sudden leaving. RD had little idea what he said. Bruce shakes his hand, then wipes his hand on his shirt in disgust. 

In the Batcave Robin whines about surrendering so (real) Batman has to poetically speech about the entire picture. He thinks the villains will escape to Switzerland via boat. "To the Batboat via Batmobile!" 

At a traffic stop a woman laments she cannot drive as fast as the Duo can, to which a cop remarks that in his off-hours he lectures on driving safety. (:45) Now THERE'S an idea for any struggling DC artists who may be reading this for some reason: Batman's Driving School. RD knows one of the cars was a '66 Mustang (Fastback) because it was his first car (for six months). Cue reused footage of the Batboat from the Movie. 

The Bros are unsure if the boat is Archer's or Dale's, because the latter complains through his teeth of seasickness. The Duo board with raised Batshield to deflect the goons' arrows (after Robin ages 30 years in hiding), so they pull out swords.
Archer: "By thunder, thee will walk the plank deck."
Robin: "Holy Blackbeard!"
Then Marilyn just gives them swords to even the odds.
Batman: "I doff my cowl to you, Maid Marilyn."
Cue more Olde English speech bubbles as the Duo easily win.
Archer: "Et tu, Brute?"

Barbara Nichols (then 38 at filming) declined performing in striptease to focus on modeling and was even considered to rival (non Maid) Marilyn Monroe. Sadly she passed away 10 years later due to liver failure. Vince gives her 3 Batpoles (+1 from not doing further adult work). RD gives her 4.5. "So she was a year younger than Robin!" 

At Stately Wayne Manor the two do some archery. Alfred wants to show how he was termed William Tell by putting an apple on Dick's head but the Duo defer so he has to shoot at it on a stand. He shoots with trembling hands and hits below it. Dick: "Right between the eyes!" 

The two enjoyed the story, in case it wasn't obvious. 

Jonathan Plombon sent RD a book he had co-written about Herb Abrams' UWF. Unsurprisingly Vince had little idea who he was. (Not a slight against him though. Say what you will about his writing legacy, but at least he didn't go out in self-destructive fashion like Abrams did.)

RD has no idea if he and Bryan will release a 20th Anniversary Edition of The Death of WCW since they hardly talk about wrestling. I expect them to start a radio progrem about Bea Arthur now. How good is Bryan's Jim Ross impression?


  • Special Guest Villain: The Archer (Art Carney)


  • Screen Captures: 4. RD, RD, RD, RD
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Victor Paul

Episode 38: Holy Imposition!: April 24, 2022

Shoot a Crooked Arrow
"Archer and his gang have come to Gotham City, winning the public's favor with their Robin Hood style deeds of stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Batman and Robin set out to discover the location of their hideout and stop these villains, only to find themselves caught by a trap in the Archer's lair."
60 minutes

"Boo! Hiss! Phooey on RD!" Season 2's 60 episodes are on six discs. Vince kept seeing Art Carney as Ed Norton as the ArTcher, and he should know since he has Jackie Gleason tattooed on his arm.

It's a "warm serene afternoon" in the gardens of Stately Wayne Manor. The Archer and two goons arrive on horseback as inside Dick plays piano overseen by bra-less Aunt Harriet. 

Bruce is talking to one Allen Dale who is practicing his ventriloquism skills for some reason (when he's not talking through his teeth), and as a fellow board member of the Wayne Foundation complains about Bruce being too charitable. But he's not being stereotypical greedy; he's just warning that this may draw the attention of the Archer, perhaps on horseback. 

As soon as Bruce tries to reassure him, an arrow shoots through the window and gasses them. The Archer fires another arrow at the painting of Bruce's great grandfather, revealing the safe behind it. As bags were apparently not invented in the medieval era, one goon as a friar has to carry the loot under his robe. The other goon has a sound-box to play clips and sound effects like some kind of bard (with a radio progrem). If the Bros had something similar they would want boos following them (but not booze). 

The Archer blows a kiss to his deed of robbing the rich as he leaves: "Parting is such sweet sorrow!" He then rides into the Irish neighborhood to give to the poor, including a few people in stereotypical poor outfits, and someone running a hot dog and sauerkraut cart. The police show up, but he has a sneezing powder arrow to scare them off. 

There actually was a very obscure Archer villain, but he was a different character who fought Superman instead. I also kept confusing him with Green Arrow, who at the time was still a couple of years from his visual update leading to his increased presence through his politics, partnering with Green Lantern, and dealing with his drug-addicted sidekick (Speedy, not Green Lantern). 

Scared off by a single archer on horseback (or as Gordon calls him, "that rapacious rapscallion that returned to taunt the good people of Gotham City!"), he calls Alfred on the Batphone who answers with another eye-roll. (:12) O'Hara is also there asking Bruce about the robbery while Aunt Harriet fans herself in the corner. Batman of course already knew he - I mean Bruce - was also robbed. But they still need to keep appearances so down the Batpoles they go to his office. 

Gordon also says that most of the money was returned when the people learned it was stolen, which is more unlikely than expecting the police to do their job. Batman: "A tribute to their character and moral fiber!" Dale is also there, and also not noticing how similar Batman sounds to Bruce, talks through his teeth of mentioning this to the Board.

As soon as Gordon tries to reassure him, an arrow shoots through the window and blinds them. The Archer and goons then appear wearing Cyclops' visor as the others have to remind loudly that they are in fact blind.
Archer: "I came to warn thee - all of thee. I don't want anybody interfering with my robbing or giving, understand?...Now heed this: I'm gonna rob from the rich and give to the poor."
Batman: "How unoriginal!"

As they escape with the loot and a "cheerio" the Duo recover enough to chase after them with another unreliable Batarang to go down the wall.
Dale: "He certainly is a spectacular man."
O'Hara: "That he is, and the Boy Wonder's pretty good, too."
Dale: "I was talking about the Archer. A good publicity campaign and he'd replace Batman as the public's favorite."
Gordon: "Understand this, Mr. Dale: someone might be able to substitute for Batman for a very sort time, but... [to the camera] ...no one could ever replace him." 

As the Duo climb down Dick Clark as "Citizen" pops out of a window to observe without any idea of who they are. (:21) Batman surmises he's from Philadelphia because he is "dipping his diphthong". RD reads the definition to an incredulous Vince: "Interesting."
Robin: "We are crimefighters."
Clark: "Oh, you're a vocal group."

As they get on the ground they see a truck for the Trojan Hearse Company. Its driver, a large woman eating a giant turkey leg, says in a strong Brooklyn accent that she has not seen any horseback riders. 

At the Archer's lair (which is sadly not in a forested park) (:26) Big John and Crier Tuck complain about their philanthropy. Archer reassures them that after the next robbery there will be "the big caper". The Brooklyn trucker is also there as Maid Marilyn, complaining about their funny talk. The joke is she talks in the accent while the men talk in Old English. Archer wants to find the Batcave: "Those caped sheriffs of Gotham-ham have a machine that can predict any criminal's next ploy!" The Bros have no idea what he is talking about. 

In Gordon's office he is so happy he got an anonymous tip (actually from Marilyn) on where the Archer might show up next, and informs Batman. In an accounting office Everett Bannister, the coin machine king, is biding his time counting coins. All of a sudden the Archer and co show up ("Gentlemen, string thy bows.") and just shoot him full of arrows pinning him to the wall. 

As they do their giving outside the Duo appear, and the crowd boos them. "Phooey on Batman!" someone shouts. The fight has thrown fruit and the captions written in 'attempted' Old English with -eth at the end, until all of a sudden the criminals are captured. That was a pretty fast story...

...until Gordon informs Batman that the people have paid their bail ($50,000) with the stolen money. "Don't they understand how he's trying to fool them? The illusive lore of easy living!" says the multimillionaire who inherited his wealth. Archer has a recorded statement (not a hired town crier?) thanking the people for their support and proclaiming no more robberies. The Bros think it's a good investment for the people since Archer will just give them more money to recover it. They also think the people aren't the most intelligent. Vince also wonders if when later he will rob from the poor to make himself rich why he didn't just rob from the rich directly in the first place.   

In the Batcave Batman tries looking up the Archer in his Batfile. (:36) Cross-referencing him with Robin Hood he finds an archery range on Sherwood Avenue. 

Alfred stands towering next to him, and he reveals his archery skill was so good he was once the William Tell of Liverpool. He goes to distract Archer while the Duo stumble about his lair. Alfred and Archer place bets on their marksmanship. Alfred has a £1 note which somehow equals $100.

"Holy imposition!" Robin exclaims as they enter the "very spooky" lair next door. Batman plans to "take strategic positions" without explaining further. 

Alfred and Archer take turns splitting each other's arrows in the bullseye before what Vince terms "the animal woman" as Marilyn warns Archer of intruders in his "playroom". He tells her to trigger the secret button on her cash register to trap the Duo in a giant net. Batman tells Robin he will get them out with his knife. Archer takes Alfred with him for reassurance as they come across the Duo, and of course both are unconscious instead of being cut out of the net. Perhaps they used secret gas?

The Duo are hung up by their thumbs showing their sweat stains. Archer demands the location of the Batcave again or he will put Alfred in a guillotine. He also refuses to divulge. Archer: "Happy landing, old man. Thou hadst a good head on thy shoulders, whilst it lasted." 

Of course Alfred is just fine; Batman knew he was just in a stage guillotine. He then asks about the sound-box, which was "purloined from the castle of a television producer who makes alleged comedy programs." Big John suggests getting rid of the Duo through "imported California smog". Archer instead slaps Batman in the face with his glove, challenging him to a "fair duel on a field of honor". Said duel has the Duo tied up on poles as the villains come at them with jousting lances. Archer: "Time to offer them a bellyful of steel!"

Narrator: "Doth this foul deed spell finis for the Caped Crusaders? Willst the Dynamic Duo escape to fight again the villainous swine who threaten home and hearth? Take heart, citizens. The answers to these and other pointed inquiries tomorrow! Same Bat-time! Same Bat-channel!" 

RD didn't remember the episode much at all, it might not have been shown in syndication.  

The two want to rate the "woman in red" who was in the crowd pelting fruit at the Duo and went uncredited (and Vince keeps mentioning Finella for some reason). They give her 8 Batpoles regardless. 

Arcade Easter Bunny RD had to play against a trio of pre-teen trash talking sisters, and got his revenge through a Mortal Kombat II babality. Vince thinks they were smoking and drinking for some reason. RD made sure the Bunny outfit was cleaned beforehand.

 

  • Special Guest Villain: The Archer (Art Carney)


  • Screen Captures: 1. RD
  • Window Celebrity: 1. Dick Clark

 

Episode 37: Holy Jumble!: April 17, 2022

Batman: The Movie (1966) (Part Three)
"The Dynamic Duo faces four supervillains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people."
76 minutes

[Part One, in which the Dynamic Duo are saved by an almost human porpoise.]
[Part Two, in which the Dark Knight just can't get rid of a bomb.]

"RD Prefers Water Light & Soft" Vince blames him for giving his beleaguered website colleague Jeff Lane confusion light and soft for again giving him trouble with episode numbering. RD gives some random words ala Blade. Vince: "Interesting."

RD learned the movie was released between the seasons.

The Duo take Penguin to the Batcave, unaware of his pocket G.P. guinea pigs. (:05) They awaken him, and of course the first thing he does is squawk before he remembers he must be British and asks for a glass of water. Batman directs him to the clearly marked water dispenser to "slay your thirst". Penguin responds with ten dollar pound words as he gets his goons in a row re-hydrated. 

RD is confused by the furniture around the house without any signs or labels.

Robin: "Holy hallucinations!"
Batman: "It's five dehydrated pirates re-hydrated!"

However Penguin has failed to notice he has moved a switch from light to heavy water (used within the atomic pile). Batman kicks the supposedly now 'anti-matter' goons into nothingness as a cow moos for some reason.Vince wonders if this could be Botchamania worthy. RD pretends to call Maffew. Robin makes a sad face as he wonders if he may have been involved in vigilante manslaughter. Batman: "No, Robin, they're not coming back. Not in this universe." 

Penguin tries to hang on a ladder rather than just run out the nearby exit. Batman thinks the "Commodore" was coerced into working for the villains to sneak in their goons, so they gas him and take him out in a now two-rowed Batmobile. Robin wonders what their plan now is. Batman responds by giving him an Anti-Penguin gas pill. They then wake up the Penguin again (who responds with a "good morning") then deliberately stop the Batmobile. Penguin immediately gasses them with his umbrella, then assumes control of the returned Birdmobile

The Duo then get their stunt doubles to go 200 miles per hour on a very unsafe Mobile Batcycle to get to the Batcopter to track him, during which they de-attach Robin's side-car go-kart to go an additional 25 feet. Vince wonders what happened to all the vehicular props as the series went on. RD wonders why they didn't just reuse the footage. 

Meanwhile the other villains are back in the submarine. (:22)
Catwoman: "
Penguin finished Batman by now."
Riddler: "
Why, that miserable waddling mountebank of a bird? He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn!"
He launches more riddle missiles (riddiles?) as Joker shouts at him like an "inept dad", one of which actually hits the Batcopter. Batman: "This could be the end!" RD adjusts his headphones as an eyepatch to look like Batman. Thankfully they land on "foam rubber in its crudest form" at a wholesaler's convention. Batman notes the astronomical odds, already forgetting that he was saved by an almost human porpoise.

Solving the riddles with more twisted logic they discover the villains' plan to hit the United World Organization during a meeting of its Security Council.
Robin: "Let's commandeer a taxi!"
Batman: "No, Robin. Not at this time of day. Luckily, we're in tip-top condition. It'll be faster if we run."
Cue their stunt doubles running in front of a rear-projection.

Catwoman's tight outfit as she takes her turn looking through a periscope enticed RD as well as another goon. Penguin rejoins the group as they disembark the docked submarine and blow up the doors using Riddler's wax and some meandering cats. (:31) Penguin launches a gas-spraying umbrella straight towards the camera like a javelin causing two guards to fall into an arch.
Penguin: "Hold your breaths as we cross the hall. There are still lingering traces of my finely filtered Penguin gas."
The Bros find it funny they didn't come with gas masks for such a situation, even if he did warn them.

The villains find the nine council members engaged in a stereotypical shouting match over world peace, paying them no attention as they zap them into differently colored powders. The Duo enter an elevator where Batman ad-libs trying to find the right button to press. 

In the chamber he shouts at the villains, who have all gone back to their regular masks, to surrender, or risk getting hit by their Batarangs. Catwoman manages to get their group to escape by threatening Kitka. At least Penguin remembered to put his monocle over his mask.

They find the state of the council due to the "fiendishly clever" machinations.
Robin: "Where does that elevator go?"
Batman: "Downstairs, obviously...We have just one trump card left, Robin. Heaven help the world if we fail."

Back in the submarine the villains are finally happy together for once, as they plan to ransom the powdered members for $1 billion each. This lasts for all of 60 seconds. Then Riddler goes to launch more riddiles as Dad Joker shouts at him to be straight for once. (Yes, even the Joker of all people has his limits.) Catwoman flirts with a very confused Penguin while laying on top of a piano in what looks to be tight body-paint. Penguin: "Shut up, you feline floozy!"

The Batboat closes in on the submarine so Riddler has to fire at them (ideally straight on target). Having studied the riddiles earlier Batman has tuned the Bat-Transmitter for Robin to deflect them away from the Duo. "Holy Bikini!" They then fire Batcharges to try and surface the submarine. Penguin orders his goons to "run silent, run deep." Dad Joker decides to rise anyway for the sake of their lives and their captives. 

The Duo themselves decide to get on top of the submarine instead of using their doubles, which has Batman fighting with a giant wrench for some reason (and not even a Batwrench). Dad Joker takes the opportunity to punch Riddler overboard. 

Catwoman throws a fake cat at Batman who holds on to it while fighting before putting it in a life boat: "Bon voyage, Pussy," he whispers in post-production. She kicks them off where they fight in the water before the Duo suddenly subdue the male villains and tie them to the top of the sub. She tries to escape into the vessel but trips and loses his mask, leading Batman to finally realize she was Kitka all along. He stares forlornly into the empty air with tears in his eyes for a full minute as Finella's song plays. 

Robin: "Holy heartbreak!"
Batman: "It's just one of those things...in the life...of every crimefighter...it means nothing...slap on the Batcuffs...say no more Robin...it could be compromising."

This was Lee Meriweather's only turn as the Catwoman, among a television career that still continues to recent days. The Bros thought she did a good job under the circumstances and give her 8 Batpoles. 

Batman calls the Coast Guard to pick up the submarine "filled with human jettison". (:54) Perhaps his heart break hardened him against the possible redemption of his fellow man. He then goes back down to gather the vials before they fall off the table. The real Commodore then appears, trips, knocks the vials out of his hands, then sneezes, sending the dust everywhere.
Robin: "Holy jumble! Where's the hope of the world now?" 

This necessitates having to use the Batcave's Super Molecular Dust Separator. Batman, not wearing his gloves, updates Gordon on the case, so he in turn can update President Johnson. The backs of Aunt Harriet and Alfred are simulcast during this. Sadly neither Bro has a screen capture, so Vince instead shows his phone with Stephanie (McMahon) not wearing her wedding ring. 

Batman is making sure the "ethnic and national factors" are as they should be. Robin suggests some mixing up for a different and perhaps better outcome, but Batman reminds him why this is a bad idea from earlier experience with the anti-matter pirates. They say this just as the separating completes, so Batman tells Gordon to tell Johnson to tell the countries of the world (all two of them during the Cold War, right?).

The vials are taken back to the Security Council, where Batman, holding a regular garden hose hooked up to a "light water soft" water dispenser, takes a solemn moment before telling Robin to turn it on. It works and the members are back to arguing without missing a beat...except they are all now shouting in different languages.

Robin: "What about this?"
Batman: "Who knows, Robin? This strange mixing of minds may be the greatest single service ever performed for humanity. Let's go, but, inconspicuously, through the window. We'll use our Batropes. Our job is finished."

THE LIVING END......?

Vince has yet to find the movie on Blu-Ray but found Meredith's skin complexion smooth. RD finds the movie made $4 million on a $1.4 million budget, a commercial success. 

Next time is a return to the series, in a new second season of 60 episodes. RD estimates it will take a year and two months to get through at their pace. The third season has another 26.

RD will be a very tall Easter bunny who will not be playing whack-a-mole.

 

  • Special Guest Villains: Catwoman [2] (Lee Meriwether), The Joker [4] (Cesar Romero) [4], The Penguin [4] (Burgess Meredith) [4], The Riddler [5] (Frank Gorshin) [5]

  • Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Foam rubber in its crudest form

Episode 36: Holy Bomb!: April 10, 2022

Batman: The Movie (1966) (Part Two)
"The Dynamic Duo faces four supervillains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people."
67 minutes

[Part One, in which the Dynamic Duo are saved by an almost human porpoise.]
[Part Three, in which the Boy Wonder helps kill radioactive goons.]

Vince gives himself applause. "You Also Can't Get Rid of RD". Vince gives him boos.

Former WCW Head Writer Vince Russo finds writing about a Batman TV series is "the most ridiculous thing in the world", even more so than wrestling. He does it extensively anyway since he knows RD does too on his end. 

The Duo do a choreographed walk around Gordon's office to confirm "his blackest fears" of what they are up against.
Gordon: "
The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!"
Batman: "
We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over... "
O'Hara: "Take over what, Batman? Gotham City?"
Batman: "Any two of them would try that!"
Gordon: "The whole country?"
Batman: "If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be...the entire world." 

The villains are in fact next planning to strike the United Nations World Organization, headquartered in Gotham. (:09) Catwoman is upset at the men for letting the Duo escape. Penguin: "Passing porpoises which intercept torpedoes! There ought to be a piscivorous statute!" He plans to send his exploding octopus after them. Riddler thinks they should trap and launch them using a riddle from the Joker's "Jack in the Box" into the octopus. To do this they need Catwoman as Kitka to help kidnap Bruce, poor multimillionaire.

RD wonders how Bruce would not notice Kitka visiting Stately Wayne Manor was Catwoman, much like how Gordon doesn't notice Bruce was Batman. Kitka tells him his picture is a constant presence in the Moscow Bugle. Vince thinks it's because of his philanthropy. I think it's for the Soviets to highlight the decadent actions of a capitalist proletariat playboy or so. She also has some riddles that she wants to give to "that masked Cossack Batman". Bruce is thinking too much on wanting to take her to dinner to notice the way she replies "purrr-fect". Vince thinks he knows who she really is but he doesn't want to think it. 

Bruce has Alfred cancel his earlier plans (Mrs. Deal thought it was another date) then goes down to the Batcave to figure things out with Robin.
Batman: "What has yellow skin and writes?"
Robin: "A ballpoint banana!"
Batman: "What people are always in a hurry?"
Robin: "Russians!"
Batman: "Now what would you say they mean?"
Robin: "Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana peel and break their neck!"
Batman: "Precisely, Robin!"
He vows to protect Kitka for "being in favor of international relations", or he will bash Riddler "brutally". He asks the two to follow him and Kitka on their date (after he makes sure Alfred has his driver's license), then leaves via the Compressed Steam Batpole Lift.

Bruce's attempts to woo Kitka at dinner (:20) include two buccaneers as violinists and sitting in a horse-drawn carriage. The Batmobile follows them slowly, driven by Alfred wearing a derby and a Lone Ranger mask with his glasses over it. At a rather dingy nightclub they dance to the tones of Julie "Finella" Gregg, sadly singing to a somewhat bad song instead of doing any odd poses.

Bruce: "This curtain which separates our countries is so foolish. If we could just contrive some way of getting more deeply involved with each other."
Kitka: "Da, we must search for such a method." 

She whispers something to him as Robin and Alfred watch in the Batmobile from a rather weird camera angle. Robin wants to leave them be to call Gordon to light the Batsignal to draw out the criminals (Alfred likes to watch) as they pass the Benedict Arnold monument. RD: "What kind of city is this?" Vince is confused by their usage of stunt doubles in wide shots of the carriage.

Kitka: "I close my eyes and l dream of all those savage Cossacks racing over the steppes on their brutal mission."
Bruce: "How strange. I close my eyes, and I dream of something quite astonishingly different."
Kitka tries to discreetly use her Cat-Transmitter to inform her colleagues while holding Bruce and making cross-eyed smiles. Bruce continues to keep his eyes closed: "It approaches a climax." 

At her penthouse Kitka finally kisses Bruce, then goes to change while he has his cocoa. Even Robin who is still watching all this on camera has his limits, to the displeasure of Alfred. She appears wearing a rather sensual pink robe that overwhelms Bruce so much he recites a few lines of Poe. At least he still has his book smarts. Vince thinks RD should do the same with his wife. 

Before they can get any summit going the others villains break in through the window, descending on the Penguin's flying umbrellas while wearing masks for some reason. Bruce vows to kill them all for his Bat blue balls before fighting in a style that looks strangely familiar to Batman's. Let me clarify. Adam West fights in a style that looks strangely familiar to Batman's, and he does a good job of it outside the suit and cowl and stunt double. But he gets overwhelmed, and Robin checks too late to find they are gone.
Robin: "Holy demolition!"
Alfred: "Bless my dustpan!"
RD was saddened Catwoman was not riding side-saddle on an umbrella.

At the lair the villains are confused by Batman's lateness. (:36) Bruce continues to vow death and destruction if Kitka was harmed, so Catwoman has him blindfolded to see "her". RD is confused why he still hasn't made the connection yet after seeing the two with his own eyes. Vince thinks he's too in love. "Love is blind." RD: "And so is Bruce."

Bruce: "This nasty soup we're in is largely of my own brewing."
Kitka reassures him that Batman will come to save them. Not expecting him to show up, Bruce has his eye-rolling "captive" get his hidden transmitter up his shirt sleeve. "Capitalists, like myself, who carry large sums of money, often have such safety contrivances." 

This cues yet another fight with West. Since he is actually fighting this means the villains have to take their turn with obvious stunt doubles. In the confusion a goon is sprung out the window into the exploding octopus. Bruce runs out, searching for Miss Kitka, before jumping out a window onto a roof and then into the sea. He reemerges at Stately Wayne Manor completely dry, assuring Gordon who is there waiting for him that things are fine. 

The villains lament yet another plan failing, so they have to resort to the Commodore's secret ingredient invention: instant whiskey maker total dehydrator. (:45) 

Penguin orders Riddler to fetch goons dressed as guinea pigs, then zaps them into piles of dust that can be later rehydrated back to normal form. He orders the piles kept in separate vials which he will take with him as part of his plan to infiltrate the Batcave from the inside: "Careful, careful, every one of them has a mother." Catwoman just brooms them up all haphazardly anyway.

The Duo arrive at the dock and take their time on a barely connected Batarang to climb a low wall.
Robin: "When you think, Batman, with people in weird outfits, like the four supercrooks hangin' around, it's amazing someone hasn't already reported this place to the police!"
Batman: "It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions."
Robin: "Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!"
But if one was sober, how would they able to write this show and movie? And would alcohol help Robin not turn to male pattern baldness again when at the top of the wall?

Also somebody popped their head out of the window, but neither myself or the Bros could find out who it was. Perhaps we can attribute that to alcoholic delusions.

Inside they only find a lit giant bomb. Batman tells Robin to retreat to a safe distance while he...first tries to find Kitka. Unable to find her, he has to pick up and carry the bomb because of a nearby band playing another bad song (but on purpose). He tells the crowd to disperse as he goes through quite the sequence as the fuse continues to tick...only to be stopped at the last moment by ducklings.

 


Batman (to the camera): "Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb!" 

But of course he succeeds, dumping it in some materials offscreen to cover the blow.
Robin: "Holy heart failure!...You risked your life to save that... riff-raff in the bar!"
Batman: "They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're also human beings - and may be salvaged. I had to do it!" 

Suddenly the Penguin shows up dressed as Schmidlapp and asks to be taken to the Batcave. (:56) Even Robin recognizes who he really is: "Holy costume party!" RD is confused: if they can recognize him, why then do they not recognize Kitka as Catwoman? 

They can't take his fingerprints because he's burned them, so the Duo have to confer on other ways of identification. Penguin (overhearing): "RETINAL EYE PATTERNS?" He somehow knows they can do that in the "fabulous" Batcave. What he doesn't know is they will have to gas him for the privilege, or even what gas does (usually) despite having using it plenty of times before, including the previous series episode he was in. Penguin: "What dutifully strange customs you colonials have!"

The Bros feel Joker is not being used as much as he does, with most of the action being done by the other three. RD wants a figure of his stunt double. Still they love the movie so far. Vince wishes to find bloopers and outtakes.  

Channel Attitude is finally going live and is supporting clips of the video progrem and others. 


  • Special Guest Villains: Catwoman [2] (Lee Meriwether), The Joker [4] (Cesar Romero) [4], The Penguin [4] (Burgess Meredith) [4], The Riddler [5] (Frank Gorshin) [5]
 
  • Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
  • Fact or Fiction: 2

TammyTrolla Goes Off in The Worst Way Possible!

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Wait! Hold up! Stop the TammyTrolla! Looks like Tammy Lynn Sytch has once again done something cringe-worthy. Unfortunately. This may have been the worst thing Tams has ever done.


Tamara Lynn Sytch, known by her ring name "Sunny," failed to stop around 8:28 p.m. while driving southbound on U.S. 1 just north of Granada Boulevard and crashed into a stopped vehicle.

A WWE Hall of Famer was involved in a fatal three-car crash on U.S. 1 on Friday, March 25, and Ormond Beach Police say the ongoing investigation may result in criminal charges.

According to a press release, Tamara Lynn Sytch, known by her ring name "Sunny," failed to stop around 8:28 p.m. while driving southbound on U.S. 1 just north of Granada Boulevard and crashed into a stopped vehicle, which then crashed into the vehicle in front of it. The driver of the vehicle hit by Sytch, identified as Julian Lafrancis Lasseter of Daytona Beach Shores, was transported to Halifax Health Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead. 

Sytch, 49, was also transported to Halifax Health for treatment, but was later released. A search warrant was approved and executed to obtain a blood sample, which police are using to investigate if Sytch was impaired at the time of the crash. Toxicology results are pending. 
The driver and passengers in the third vehicle suffered injuries, but were not transported to the hospital, police report. 

OBPD states it has requested an expedited timeframe on the processing of Sytch's samples. The results will be made available once the department receives them. 


Let us hope that Tams is okay. We all know that Sunny has gone through some terrible stuff but we don't want her to be harmed in any way, shape, or form. 

Episode 35: Holy Porpoise!: April 3, 2022

Batman: The Movie (1966) (Part One)
(Not to be confused with Batman: The Other Movie (1989) or THE Batman: The Other Other Movie (2022))
"The Dynamic Duo faces four supervillains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people."
69 minutes

[Part Two, in which the Dark Knight just can't get rid of a bomb.]
[Part Three, in which the Boy Wonder helps kill radioactive goons.]

"RD-Lieutenant Jr Grade Schmidlapp". Vince mispronounces the name. 

RD has yet to get the movie they are about to discuss shown at the Skyline before Disney bought original rights holders Fox. Vince once saw the Planet of the Apes movies over a long night at a drive-in. RD offers to bring Vince to his location. Vince: "Interesting."

The movie begins with a dedication "to the enemies of crime and to lovers of adventure" before it cuts to a couple making out. (:06) Then the credits have shots of a running man, Batman smiling smugly for the camera, Robin preparing for combat, and the villains randomly acting in the spotlight, while a different theme than that from the series plays.

Out on a drive around town in a gold Chrysler Imperial, Bruce and Dick return to Stately Wayne Manor to answer an anonymous call to save a scientist on a yacht. Bra-ed Aunt Harriet and Alfred are outside gardening and looking extremely happy despite RD being confused by Alfred's weird looking stool. The Narrator accompanies the Duo as they slide down the Batpoles with Automatic Costume Change Levers and set off in the Batmobile. 

An aerial shot then shows Robin suddenly having a case of male pattern baldness as they speed down the highway. Vince: "Can they not drive a car?"

They get to the airport where their Batcopter is stationed for some reason instead of the Batcave, (:16) and everyone in the city watches them in amazement as they fly above them. Where do they think they are, Metropolis? 

At the yacht Robin lowers the Batladder while warning his friend on it to be careful for some reason. The Bros laud the stunts used for it to distract the fact that Robin (or his middle aged stunt double) is flying the helicopter. 

Suddenly the yacht just vanishes, startling Robin to drop man and ladder into the sea. (:22) But Batman holds on, and he is slowly pulled up while cartoon sound punching a shark stuck on his leg and urinating through a leak. The prop shark, not Batman. Cue Robin having to bring down the Shark Repellent Bat-Spray, hanging upside-down to do it for some reason while leaving the copter on autopilot. The spray is so effective the shark explodes when it hits the water. RD also saw the other specific repellents they had in the vehicle as required for different types of animals.

Cut to Gordon's office where the Duo are holding a press conference and the Commissioner randomly shouts at the journalists. While this may be his usual uselessness at work, Batman soon also becomes flustered by their questions on the boat or exploding shark. It's not as if Bruce is also head of a huge corporation who might also have to engage with employees and media on a regular basis or anything. 

Then the Moscow Bugle's Kitanya Irenya Tatanya Karenska Alisoff, aka Miss KITKA, asks him to take off his mask, shocking the crowd. Batman dismisses her query: "This young lady is a stranger to our shores." RD is reminded of when Bobby Heenan would say that about the Iron Sheik. When Kitka calls them vigilantes (which they have almost always been), Gordon becomes appalled. O'Hara tries to end things on the excuse of being "busy".

In private, Batman admits to lying for once, somewhat different from his ever truthful behavior in the series. He asks Gordon to find out which supervillains are on the loose, which is a worrying thing since they technically should know these things already. This is probably just an excuse to get the Narrator to act as their CCTV computer voice.

In this case our villains are the Penguin (Gordon: "That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro of a million criminal umbrellas!"), the Joker (O'Hara: "That devilish clown prince of crime! Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time he's baffled us!"), the Riddler (Batman: "Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums!"), and Catwoman (Robin: "Gosh! And the Catwoman!")

Further, to deduce who among them could be the culprit, they use their most awesome weapon: weird logic.
Batman: "
Pretty 'fishy' what happened to me on that ladder."
Gordon: "You mean where there's a fish there could be a Penguin?"
Robin: "But wait! It happened at sea. See? C for Catwoman!"
Batman: "Yet an exploding shark was pulling my leg..."
Gordon: "The Joker!"
O'Hara: "All adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-R. Riddler!"
Gordon: "Oh, the thought strikes me. So dreadful, I scarcely dare give it utterance."
Batman: "The four of them. Their forces combined."
Robin: "Holy nightmare!"

The villains have set up their lair in a pier tavern, where a goon calls the arriving Kitka Catwoman. (:38) Catwoman: "Don't use my real name in public!" RD concedes Lee Meriwether is "fine" but sadly no Julie Newmar.

The villains already have an official banner and logo of the United Underworld: "Today Gotham City, tomorrow the world!" Joker resolves a dispute between Penguin and Riddler using joy buzzer handshakes. A good effort, but it's not as good a joke as Penguin having a "Penguin food tank" as an aquarium. They've somehow convinced their captive scientist that he's still on board his yacht in deep fog, but since he's English (if you couldn't tell by his name of Commodore Schmidlapp) he keeps asking for tea. Joker gets some for him despite having a "ghastly pallor" which he excuses to being below decks. Despite supposedly being a genius with an invention worth "millions of Yankee dollars", Schmidlapp doesn't notice the "sea" consists of one guy moving a picture of the ocean up and down, blowing a blow-horn, and paddling water with a flipper. 

In the Batcave the Duo find out there was an out of place buoy near the yacht. Batman thinks the yacht was never there in the first place, which Vince finds remarkable with the then new state of holograms. So Batman and his sidekick Male Pattern Baldness Robin get to the site on the Batboat. 

The Penguin's pre-nuclear submarine is already there laying in wait (and looking like a penguin), while the villains still refuse to get along. Penguin to Joker: ""On land, you may command. At sea, it is me!" He then uses the papier-mâché periscope to spy on the Duo and their "skullduggery ahead" as they find a shark cage at the buoy.
Robin: "They loaded the shark with TNT!"
Batman: "Is there nothing sacred to those poor devils?"
His attempts to lift fingerprints are stopped by salt and corrosion, "the infamous enemies of the crimefighter!" But why would he even need to? Don't they already know who they are dealing with here? Does the extra running time of a movie give him extra time to make sure his crimefighting is in order or something?

Before firing torpedoes the Penguin first commands to activate the Penguin Magnet to trap them through their utility belts. Batman struggles to get out his sonic screwdriver Bat Transmitter to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow. He manages to detonate two torpedoes, but a third is still active and the power has run out. The villains see the explosion and celebrate with "yo ho ho", but the Duo manage to escape anyway thanks to an intervening "almost human" porpoise who got in the path. Forget Batman behaving like Superman, now he thinks he's Aquaman too? 

In the clear they call a vice admiral at the Pentagon who talks like he's still out at sea and is playing (surprisingly strategic) tiddlywinks with his secretary. (:57) On checking on the status of surplus submarines he acts as his own phone on hold, whistling Anchors Aweigh over the receiver while looking for the information in a Rolodex. He finds they sold one to a "P. N. Guin" who's only given contact is a P.O. box. Not even a telephone number too? Or a shipping address to deliver a fully sized and armed submarine?

Sensing Batman is about to blow a gasket the admiral tries to calm him down.
Batman: "Disposing of pre-atomic submarines to persons who don't even leave their full addresses...GOOD DAY, ADMIRAL!" 

Then the submarine fires a Polaris missile which explodes into riddles "in the form of a joke".  

The Bros decide to leave things there for the taping. RD wishes he was there for the table read. Vince enjoyed seeing the actors all together having fun in their overacting. 

Young Vince once tried sneaking into a drive-in with others in a car trunk. RD shows that the Skyline is carpeted with grass.

 

  • Special Guest Villains: Catwoman [2] (Lee Meriwether), The Joker [4] (Cesar Romero) [4], The Penguin [4] (Burgess Meredith) [4], The Riddler [5] (Frank Gorshin) [5]
 
  • Screen Captures: 2. RD, RD
  • Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Almost human porpoise

Episode 34: Holy Oxygen!: March 27, 2022

Batman Makes the Scenes
"With a brainwashed Alfred supplying the information he needs, the Penguin executes his plan against the wealthy social dinner."
63 minutes

"RD is not as lewd as this episode!" 16 years of WrestleCrap Radio disagree with that. He is also back with his cap with his pinball machines. 

The Narrator unintentionally foreshadows one of the girls at the practice dinner being a part of the Penguin's schemes.

Batman immediately starts breathing heavily, reminding RD of current day McMahon. 

Penguin: "They're still breathing. How in the name of purple wombats do they manage that?...Mouse is too much! Let it dip below Butterfly!" 

Cue Penguin and goons working the large bellows while Finella opens her mouth excitedly and bends over in front of it in such a way that it would make current day McMahon breathe even move heavily. (:08) Vince remembers her turning towards the camera to show her camel-toe. He was sad they didn't make a joke about her forgetting her glasses. 

Penguin is so happy he jump-clicks his heels together like False Face. "Butterfly, Batman! Butterfly!" 

Then they all just leave, allowing Batman to all of a sudden open his eyes and breathe normally. As he explains in mid-sentence in Gordon's office, he had "the emergency tank of Bat-oxygen" in his utility belt. That still doesn't explain how he then untied his bonds. RD wondered why he didn't just slow his breathing, which is definitely something the Dark Knight could do. Perhaps the staff were still stuck with Finella. Robin: "Holy oxygen!" O'Hara: "Thank the saints for the utility belt!" Gordon adds some ten dollar words of his own. "What should we do Batman?" RD: "STOP HIM OF COURSE!" Batman tells Gordon to call Bruce on that.

Cut to flat dressed Gordon meeting sharp dressed Bruce at stockbrokers Smith, Smythe, and Schmidt. Bruce reveals the dinner will be held at the Captain's "Salllon" on Wayne Enterprises' S.S. Gotham Neptune.  Gordon calls Batman at Stately Wayne Manor to tell him the location. Then he calls Bruce to ask for his help despite already getting it. RD wonders how Gordon still can't figure out who Batman is.

In the Batcave Batman tells Robin and Alfred that the dinner location has been leaked at "Stately Wayne Manor". The painting style photo of the place actually has "Stately Wayne Manor" written on a sign.Vince reminds RD when he marked out on seeing SWM on a tour (in Pasadena, California). This is all just to feed twitching Alfred false information. Vince wishes he had got full Tourette and starting swearing and gyrating. Alfred leaves to prepare the giant cake for a lady to pop out of. Robin: "Holy Jitterbugs! That twitch again!"

Upstairs Alfred answers a call from the Penguin, causing him to twitch some more while Penguin does some signature squeaks. (:25) He tells him the actual location of the boat and that Miss Natural Resources will win the charity competition. Penguin: "ANSWER YOU SUPERIFIC SERVITOR!" He then releases him from his control. To Finella: "All you gotta do is jump out of that cake and let them throw money at ya!"

Penguin and masked goons then float down on umbrellas to the hotel where Miss Natural Resources is staying and through the ever present power of gas replace her with Finella. Batman comes to take her in a prom suit and with an orchid. "Have you ever popped out of a cake before?" he asks her. Finella has been practicing.

Two hours later the Duo are on the "gaudy" boat on one side of the large dining table eating with everyone. RD compares it to The Last Supper. Vince thinks there was a conspiracy with a crooked picture in the background behind one of the multimillionaires that straightens in later distant shots. Of course at no point do the people wonder where Bruce is; it's not like he's the multimillionaire who owns the boat after all.

Alfred: "Shall I bring in the pièce de résistance, sir?"
Professor: "Peace day resist-stance?"
Robin: "French, sir! It refers to the feature of the evening." 

Meanwhile Batman wipes at his logo with a napkin. 

Penguin watches through a window as the cake adorned with dollar signs is brought out. Vince hope the prop still exists. Finella pops out and of course everyone starts making it rain. At Penguin's prompting she gets an umbrella to gas them, slowly spraying across the area as everyone patiently waits for their turn. 

Taking all the money, Penguin and goons return back to the pier in order to reuse the set. He starts handing it out piece by piece to his goons, leaving his share to invest to do more crimes with. This causes Finella to start crying about being a criminal, despite being rather...aroused earlier when the Duo were captured. "I just wanted to win a beauty contest!...Who is going to save our natural resources now?" 

Off-camera Batman lauds her for learning something as the Duo jump out of a save. "The Dynamic Duo!" shout the goons in unison. They had used "Anti-Penguin gas pills" to protect themselves. Vince wonders if there are specific ones per villain. RD hopes one day to see Batman wearing all his utility belts around him. 

Despite hearing that the Duo are immune to his gas, Penguin tries his luck anyway. He only gets Finella, who Robin moves out of the way before a very short melee. Vince notes how eager Penguin is to get involved in fighting. Vince is reminded of Mike Shaw as Friar Ferguson. The Duo easily net everyone. Batman: "Hoist in your own evil net!"

Back at another party at Stately Wayne Manor, Alfred has a woman on each arm, much to Aunt Harriet's jealousy. (:46) Dick is too shy to talk to Miss Natural Resources. Alfred apologizes for his twitching but Bruce reassures the "old man" that it all worked out anyway. Then Finella walks in escorted by Gordon. She was let out of prison just for one day to wear a mink coat with a very low backside at a party and to fall for Bruce in a penguin walk. 

The late Julie Gregg as Finella was as previously mentioned Sandra Corleone, and was also Tony nominated. RD gives her a "very generous" 7 Batpoles since she didn't really appeal to him. Vince gives her 7.5 for her positioning. 

Unfortunately to the Bros there was very little happening in the episode, besides the bending over. Even worse is the Narrator saying Batman will next re-face Catwoman instead of Art Carney as the Archer. Also the Bros are going to next watch the movie, which will take at least three weeks. Ironically enough Gregg (as someone else) and Catwoman (by someone else) will make an appearance.

RD entertains the people by cutting a promo on how he doesn't have egotistical pictures of himself around.

RD has a few things he wants to cover for their video podcast besides the old series.

Vince is amazed how RD and partners update Wrestlecrap at least weekly, soon to be 22 years young. (:57) His latest reviewed show has a very weird name. But is it as lewd as bent-over Finella?

The two discuss old arcade games for a bit.

 

  • Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [3] (Burgess Meredith) [3]


  • Screen Captures: 1. RD
  • Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Teleportation with bat-oxygen
  • Fact or Fiction: 1
  • Entertain The People: 1

Episode 33: Holy Wayne Manor!: March 20, 2022

Fine Finny Fiends
"The Penguin captures and brainwashes Alfred to be his unwitting pawn for his plan against a wealthy social event."
62 minutes

"RD Wouldn't Eat a Pound of Caviar." He wouldn't wear his cap either, taking it off to show his clean shaven head. He had gone to the Louisville Arcade Expo to use a dot matrix printer. 

Alfred is outside a "small fish store" wondering if he should buy caviar on sale unaware that inside there are goons in drag with fake caviar laying in wait. He enters waving a handbill asking for "20 pounds at least, a pound for each guest," despite normal caviar servings being an ounce, or one sixteenth of a pound. Vince thinks it will all be for Aunt Harriet and her "cankles". The goons then trap Alfred with an umbrella and gas him.

A bunch of cops fill Gordon's office like at the start of the season, determining that an umbrella was in fact used.
O'Hara: "Any ordinary crook, the department can handle. But when it comes to the likes of the Penguin, there's only one bein' on earth..."
The news takes answering Bruce by such surprise he almost drops the Batphone. He tells Dick to set aside his Latin verbs for the time being. Dick: "Holy Wayne Manor! You don't mean our Alfred?"

At the office Batman congratulates O'Hara on his "keen deduction", while Robin wonders why there is no ransom note. O'Hara: "By thunderation, the lad is right!" Batman remembers there will be a secret "multimillionaires' annual award dinner" that Alfred is major-domo for, that Penguin may have kidnapped to find the location of. They go to the fish store to investigate further.

The lair of the "seagoing scoundrels" is in Gotham City Waterfront, where one of them named Octopus is getting rather too intimate with a fish tank. (:18) The Co-Bros find the lady Finella alright (although it would be hard to compete with Pauline) but Vince feels there is something off with the older women on the show compared to the younger ones. (Apparently 28 is old to him.) She argues with Penguin about her swimsuit. Alfred won't tell the location so Penguin threatens him with "super calculated trickery" of making him waddle in his "Penguin Box". This involves putting him in a barbershop chair with Christmas lights and dry ice to "brainwash" him.

Vince keeps seeing sweat on Penguin's prosthetic nose. 

At the fish store Robin tampers with the crime scene by eating some caviar smeared on the wall. Batman finds the handbill for "Knott A Fish" and thus a criminal. They leave to cross the street to the Batmobile. 

Batman: "Remember, Robin: always look both ways."

Gordon tells them that Alfred has been found "safe and sound as a dollar" (not a pound?) in Stately Wayne Manor as O'Hara shakes all the cops' hands in celebration for some reason. Gordon gives him a look before shaking his head.  

In the Batcave the Duo question a now twitching Alfred. 

Alfred: "I don't know what you're talking about; I didn't buy caviar at a fish store. I buy it where I always get it: the Iranian embassy!" 

They take him to the "Memory Bat-Bank" to show him random photos. RD actually tried some image recognition of his own just because. At the Penguin's goons Alfred twitches again, then says he doesn't know who their boss is, then says he has to leave for the rehearsal dinner which is conveniently upstairs. 

At the dinner Bruce has to spend time with someone who looks like Gilligan's Island's Professor wearing the Skipper's cap. (:33) A group of women wear swimsuits including "Miss Natural Resources."
Professor: "I'd like to make her my own personal charity."
Bruce: "All are worthy."
Professor: "You can say that again."

Another person thinks Bruce's great grandfather in a painting was a member of the secretive Yale society Skull And Bones. Bra wearing Aunt Harriet corrects him by saying he actually founded the group (if his name was actually William Huntington Russell or Alphonso Taft and he time traveled from 1832). Alfred and another leer at Miss Civil Rights.

The Professor finds a fish hook in his food. Alfred says it's from his "morning coat". This prompts Bruce and Dick to leave without a word to the Batcave to determine the Penguin is somewhere on the Waterfront which runs for 146 miles before they find a place owned by Knott on the pier. 

Penguin and his unhappy goons somehow know to wait for the Duo, including one goon who goes uncredited for some reason. Penguin: "There's many a slip, so zipper your lip!" They go into their hideout causing the camera to Dutch angle. Finella is in a fishnet swimsuit gushing over Batman, although the Bros still don't fall for her look. Penguin: "Close your gills!"

The Duo find a Penguin statue rolling on a desk. Batman: "This proves he's here." Then some umbrellas fall and trap them momentarily so their stunt doubles can fight for them. Vince is shocked the goons won a fight for once, even if Penguin had his own stunt double with them. (:43) Batman at least reels in one goon with a fishing pole before his takedown. Cue the gas. 

Penguin orders them tied up in a "vacuum tank" with balloons strewn all around while his goons operate gigantic bellows with a helpful sign listing oxygen levels for living creatures. Narrator: "Will they be vanquished by a vac-u-um?"

The two wonder if Alfred is still under the Penguin's twitch without any Bat-antidote.

RD remembers Penguin's bad teeth for some reason.

For now the two give their disapproval for the day's episode.

Vince guesses after a while that Julie Gregg as Finella appeared in The Godfather as Sandra Corleone. 

Vince didn't know RD co-wrote The Death of WCW before he first appeared on WCR. RD told Blade not to ask him a single question on wrestling for his second time.

RD's cereal of choice is Peanut Butter Crunch. Vince has never had it. He prefers Life Cereal.

 

  • Special Guest Villain: The Penguin [3] (Burgess Meredith) [3]


  • Screen Captures: 1. RD
  • Entertain The People: 1

Episode 32: Holy Molars!: March 13, 2022

The Riddler's False Notion
"As the Dynamic Duo pursue the Riddler, they discover the true purpose behind his cinematic theme and his ultimate target."
64 minutes

"RD Wishes He Had Robin's Teeth" He reminds Vince of that one guy from Cheap Trick. He remembers that but not what happened this day until he rewatched it (and liked it). RD is confused by Vince's hair.

While Robin remains tied up, Batman rushes back to the Batmobile to find his "tiny utility belt radio" taking up half the seat. Young RD won a transistor radio while on a helicopter ride for a radio station's traffic report. 

Gordon, now recovered from his baseball debate thanks to a Bat-antidote, runs out to apologize for his actions. RD wonders why he doesn't do that every week. Batman: "Let that be a lesson: in the future, be more careful from whom you accept free lemonade." He then starts up the engine only to release a shower of riddles which leads to him to the Gotham lumbar yard. Gordon: "Goodbye Batman! Save the boy!"

He shows up only to find Robin is instead a mannequin and Riddler is wearing a top hat, a handlebar mustache, and a whip. (:12) RD wonders why they didn't just go through with the cutting of the mannequin anyway. 

The goons run off but Batman catches Pauline. "Stop! Surrender! Give yourself up! Or by all that's holy I may forget myself AND DO YOU VIOLENCE!" But he manages to restrain himself to interrogation in Gordon's office as an excuse to distract the audience with another sensual look "hard as nails" by baring her chest and still not wearing a bra. The Co-Bros thus raise their Batpoles to 9, making her the new top lady. 

RD: "Why does Riddler get all the hot chicks?" 

Unable to get anything out of her Batman requests to take her to the Batcave to "work on her". He needs to "Batgas" her to knock out her and Gordon to be a witness "for Robin's safety" and to protect himself from potential litigation. She of course looks and sounds terrified while Gordon is reassured "the sensation is not unpleasant." Then Batman just stacks the bodies on the passenger seat as he takes them. 

As Gordon is utterly amazed by the Bat-technology, Batman gets the "Truth Control Bat-tester" to stick on her face and creep her out. Gordon: "There are those who came to this Batcave and never left!" The two wonder about his covering of one of Riddler's earlier girls dying on the Atomic Pile and wonder if Pauline joined her. To determine if the riddles she has are truthful, Batman tests her "captured breath" to turn a vial red. This leads him to the Chessman building. Gordon: "No wonder you're the nemesis of crime!" So he gasses her again and asks O'Hara to pick up Gordon just laying there on the side of the road. There is no further word on her fate, and one wonders what she may be up to while still a prisoner, given Batman's earlier activity. (Perhaps this is what drew Frank Miller to the franchise.)

This leads to Mrs. Deal's favorite scene where Robin is tied up on a ledge as Riddler prepares to film his fall. (:33) Apparently his scheme here is being paid 1 million dollars for a snuff film (paid for by who?). One goon tries to play a harmonica for music. Batman gets there in time to reassure Robin. Riddler: "CURSES!" He pushes him off as Batman very slowly lowers a Batrope to catch with his teeth.
Robin: "Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take care of my teeth!"
Batman: "True. You owe your life to dental hygiene. If only more people -"
Riddler and Goons interrupt in a helicopter to oddly sky-write a riddle on the El Chief train about to be held-up at the Gotham Central Station.  

Back in the Batcave Robin calls Gordon to update him and to ask him how he feels. Gordon: "Tell Batman it was like waking from a strange refreshing dream." 

Of course the police are going to the wrong place; Riddler is actually dressed up as a cowboy at the mansion of Van Jones pitching him on a silent movie about Batman. RD is amazed that they remembered to remove the sound for it. Van Jones is also amazed and is willing to pay $100,000 for it. Vince thinks the other $900,000 is royalties and back-pay. RD wonders how he will get his check disbursed. (It was the 60s; the first official attempt at anti-money laundering would only come in 1970's Bank Secrecy Act. Perhaps there were a few Congressmen influenced by watching the show.)

Of course Riddler's real target is the films in his vault. Yet as the goons rummage through the vault, a Bat-shadow projects on the wall. The Duo had of course determined he had actually referenced a film about a train robbery. Riddler: "Get them, boys! Get them, or we'll never make it to the border!" The fight barely lasts long enough for Robin to even need to stand up. Riddler is so overwhelmed he doesn't even ask about Pauline's whereabouts. 

At Stately Wayne Manor Aunt Harriet has to leave to a restaurant for her birthday while Alfred fluffs pillows. Vince was saddened she didn't open her jacket. The Duo then come in to surprise her with best wishes before leaving.

RD saw The (recent) Batman at the Skyline and liked it despite its length and subject matter and brightness. (:50)

RD wrote about a basketball game.

RD shows Vince some footage of Gorshin on Dean Martin's show singing and dancing and riddling and giggling and having the time of his life, as one normally should. (:58)


  • Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [4] (Frank Gorshin) [4]
 
  • Screen Captures: 2. RD, RD
  • Entertain The People: 1

Episode 31: Holy Triple Feature!: March 6, 2022

Death in Slow Motion
"The Riddler is back, and is pursuing a silent movie theme with his latest scheme."
71 minutes

"The Great" "RD: Also Not Wearing a Bra" Does that make Vince surly Alfred? RD is in his library since his normal shooting area is currently occupied. He and Mrs. Deal will go as the Dynamic Duo to the church's appreciation dinner. 

RD also confused Vince by asking him if 60s bras were expensive and making him excited enough to watch the episode at 4 am looking for Aunt Harriet. RD thinks he should pay a visit to the "oculist". Vince considers RD a brother regardless, even if he felt misled (and also from the baseball lock-out (and also conflict in Europe)). 

A silent black and white movie plays in a theater that's not in a baseball stadium or Ukraine but Washington Center "THE PLACE for arts in Gotham City!" (:13) And yet, despite the movie being at "The End" the Narrator is unconvinced. "This title is not correct! It's not The End, but The Beginning! The cue for one of the most baffling crime waves to ever confront the Dynamic Duo!"

Vince can't help but see the bad skin of the actors in High Def.  

In the lobby an old guy named Van Jones who looks like Mr. Freeze talks about the silent movies he owns. He is interrupted by Riddler walking in as Charlie Chaplin followed by goons as Keystone Cops unnoticed (and who are more actual cops than the normal ones). He meets his girl Pauline who does not immediately impress the Co-Bros with her wig. Together they dance a random gig that causes the sound of laughter to be piped in while the actual onlookers stare silently. Riddler then uses the distraction to gas the box office lady to steal her money (all $200 of it) and is "arrested" by his Cops while the people continue to applaud. Van Jones is not impressed by the "group of amateurs".

Gordon in his office immediately deduces it is "the prince of puzzlers, the master of criminal conundrums" and gets to the Batphone. Vince wonders what good their prison is at reform. This time Bruce himself picks up, again, and Gordon doesn't put two and two together, again. 

Dick: "Holy triple feature! Won't that crook ever learn?" 

As they go to the Batpoles they almost trip on each other. Bruce: "Excuse me." 

In the office Robin can figure the riddle that they will next hit Mother Gotham's Bakery because he can "dig musicans' slang", and Batman has to explain this to the "astonishing" policemen. (:30) 

At the Bakery Riddler confirms with his goons and cavewoman attire Pauline that the silent films are a distraction from their actual crimes. RD was confused by her attempt to look "poor" but she looked much better than the earlier scene, making him wonder if they changed actresses. She uses the dress to distract the baker at begging, then uses her shawl to make him pretend he's stuck in flypaper. Riddler blows her a kiss as he and the goons cause havoc causing a cartoon "WHACK!" 

RD: "Are you in agreement that something's going on between Pauline and Riddler? Do you think when they're getting intimate she says "riddle me this?"

Riddler hits another worker with a sleeping cream pie and a "nuts to you!" They blow up a safe with an explosive eclair and his safecracking skills, but before they leave they make sure the Duo are coming in first. They record them as they enter and see the pie. Batman: "Mother Gotham never baked this pie!" Another riddle of a "dishonest shortcake" leads them to the Branch Library on Baker Street. Vince mumble sings for some reason.

The Batmobile pulls up to another vehicle equally illegally parked, but Batman points out its diplomatic plates. The library is closed Wednesdays due to "lack of funds". Millionaire Batman: "Shocking." They use a Batkey to enter anyway where a giant book of silent films falls on them with more riddles. Unable to solve them for some reason the Duo decide to return to the Batcave to examine them in a magnifying glass. 

The Riddler's lair is an abandoned film studio where the goons watch Riddler constantly rewatch the Duo get hit by a giant book.

Alfred joins the Duo in the Batcave to figure out an answer is "dead pans". (:47) RD sings about Van Jones for some reason, who will have a viewing party of deadpan comedy while drinking lemonade. Riddler and goons are already there spiking the drink with "temperance liquid", reminding RD of a Popeye cartoon where Bluto sent him "punch cologne" that would cause people to punch him. In the end Popeye also punched himself, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk. 

Gordon and O'Hara are also affected while they are talkin' baseball.
Gordon: "Maury Will's better than Honus Wagner?"
O'Hara: "Fifty times better!"
Gordon: "You're an ignorant oaf, Chief O'Hara! I wonder why I keep you in my department!"
O'Hara: "Your Royal Highness, oftentimes I wondered why I don't resign!"
RD did research for once which made him agree with Gordon. I'm just glad they didn't have their argument involving sabermetrics. 

Batman's stunt double bumps into Pauline so she can call actual Batman "you clumsy brute!" 

Gordon: "The BORES a man in my position has to tolerate! Is it worth it? NYAHHHHHHH!"

Cue everyone fighting or cheering those fighting. Batman tries to tell Robin monitoring in the Batmobile but gets interrupted by Pauline (who is dressed as Bo Peep for some reason) who gasses him. Batman raises his arms dramatically as he calls for order from the citizens, then chases the Riddler's cameramen who miss their shots at him. Gun shots, not camera shots. 

But Riddler has Robin tied up to a conveyor belt leading into a circular saw about to slice him in two.

It was then that RD saw how perky Pauline was. He had to lighten his screenshot slightly so Vince can see it and assume West was all over her. RD gives her earlier redhead look 6 Batpoles, 6.5 as Bo Peep, and an "easy" 8.5 for this natural braless look. Vince gives her 9. Sherry Jackson started as a child actor (with a long run on The Danny Thomas Show) who transitioned into a few guest roles (including an appearance in a rather awkward episode of The Original Series Star Trek) before retiring in the 80s to become an acting teacher. 

Riddler is so happy he does a backflip and sets the conveyor belt speed to Real Fast."You said Batman would be here in no time, but will he be here IN time?" Then he gasses him again just because. 

RD shows Vince's books hanging around him and asks for his signature.


  • Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [4] (Frank Gorshin) [4]
 
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Church
  • Blue Van:
  • Screen Captures: 1. RD

Episode 30: Holy Tome!: February 27, 2022

While Gotham City Burns
"To steal the Batmobile for a grand scheme, the Bookworm prepares a bizarre deathtrap for the Dynamic Duo."
84 minutes

"RD: Turning...My...Memory...Back" Vince is having an odd hair day after a long day yesterday. He wonders what to do with it. RD wonders if he can keep it uncut until they finish the entire series. Vince wonders how his wife would be able to handle it. Mrs. Deal is thankful his husband is bald rather than looking like Han Solo. 

Vince thought today's episode wasn't so good. RD wonders if he is still sleepy/asleep. Vince compares McDowall's large tongue to Dave Meltzer's. He shows him one of his paintings on this. RD considers putting a muzzle on Dave.  

While Robin remains tied the Narrator is worried about Batman driving "in the opposite direction on a trail that's fatally false!" (:16) He ends up at a bookstore where O'Hara is, who tells him that he messed up. Batman: "Don't tell me, GREAT HEAVENS! I'd better try to contact Robin instantly on the utility belt wavelink. Robin! ROBIN! Over." 

He then puts himself into a "trance" to turn...his...memory...back..."I'm trying to fathom the subconscious of a deadly criminal!" This leads him to "Big Benjamin" in the Clock Tower. Vince tries to point out that O'Hara also got to it and faster than Robin. He gives him applause. RD would give him a drink. 

So Batman speeds off at super-speed with a scared O'Hara. The show gives them one minute to rescue Robin. RD estimates it took them four. O'Hara wants to shoot the clock to stop it. Batman instead uses his Batzooka to connect electrical wires between the clock hands and the positive terminal of the Mobile's atomic power source, and asks O'Hara to clasp his hands and pray that their not an actual electrical circuit will work. Which it of course does.

In the lair Lydia can only hear a nightingale. Worm: "AHHHHH!" He throws random pages around. He then contemplates things while leaning on one of his goons: "I cannot conceive, but from "Gil Blas", translated by Tobias Smollett, Book 10, Chapter 3, quote: "Facts are stubborn things", unquote. Now the fact is that our bats have flown the belfry, unaccountably still squeaking. " Lydia: "Gee, and us with our super crime not pulled yet." All the goons then bow their heads in shame. Worm gives, and then takes his glasses back from Lydia, with a new plan in his mind.

Said plan is to just walk into Stately Wayne Manor right past Alfred and Aunt Harriet. (:33) He handles them by gassing them with another book, then smashes a case to steal another book. Gordon calls Batman in the Batcave to inform him of the theft. He first looks up as if to check for himself. "I'll be at Wayne Manor faster than anyone can imagine." Gordon also tells them there's a two story cookbook in the city. The Duo go to investigate, where Batman calls Worm a "foolish amateur" for his complicated plots. This is his despite having "no imagination".

Young RD was in a book club and once got the novelization of The Empire Strikes Back before the movie came out. Obviously learning beforehand that Obi-Wan was Luke's father ruined things. 

The Duo reach the book. Robin: "Holy Tome!" Batman has to tell the onlookers "the recipes in this book could be explosive!" As the cover is metallic they get out a yellow and pink Batmagnet to open it, as Worm and Lydia watch. Inside is a kitchen with "darn good soup"..."bat soup!" The door traps behind them. Worm gloats through a megaphone while Lydia fixes her makeup. He will steam them with "happy juices!" 

Batman: "Red alert, red alert! We are trapped inside a cookbook at 5th & Cedar!" 

Vince screen captured Dana Brooke's hair extensions for some reason. 

Gordon: "A fine pair of crime fighters, boiled in the entrails of a monster cookbook! Who could imagine a more tragic end?" 

Even worse is the Batmobile again being stolen. Batman then has to call the Batcave when Alfred is doing his daily routine of dusting the atomic pile. He literally jumps to the Batcomputer to assist. Gordon considers getting the Riddler from prison to safecrack the book before deciding to blow up the door conventionally. Finding nobody inside the police take off their hats to bow.

Worm and Lydia head with their goons to the Morganville library to steal some valuable books.
Lydia: ""The best laid plans of mice and men." I don't know where it's from, but I know it's true."
Worm: "Schemes. Schemes. Schemes. "The best laid schemes." Robert Burns, To A Mouse, Stanza 7. Schemes. You are graded C-minus."
They break through a wall with a Batbeam just as the Duo jump out of it, having heard everything beforehand. RD wonders why they didn't do anything earlier. They had also escaped through a steam shaft. RD wonders why they weren't cooked alive in there. Worm jumps into a trashcan. Lydia jumps into a box to watch with opera glasses. The goons are left to just run at the Duo with a wooden log as a battering ram. Batman steps out of the way throws a barrel at them, then watches Robin handle the rest. They then put a lid on the trashcan and beat on it like a drum so they can reveal a concussed Worm like in a (not The Animated Series) cartoon. 

In Gordon's office (:58) Bruce and Dick have heard about the "...bookworm? affair?" and give $5000 to the prison library. Bruce wonders what led Worm to villainy. Gordon offers to have him talk to Worm who is just waiting in the hallway. Lydia is also there reading a book about crime. Gordon: "You abandoned child! Is there no hope for you?" Bruce responds to Worm's book smarts with his own. Worm: "Bruce Wayne, you're almost as obnoxious as Batman!" 

Despite things, the two thought this day's episode wasn't so bad either. They wish there was more of him in the show. Or even in the world as all, for that matter.

RD is helping to prepare the 5th annual Rupert's Kids fundraiser on April 2nd at the Arcade. (:64)

Vince again asks RD his opinion on Cody Rhodes leaving AEW, which haven't really changed since the last time. 

RD still fondly remembers his personal interactions with Weird Al and how his welcoming nature still affects him and makes him want to do the same to others. 

Young Vince would often frequent the nearby New York Nets games and meet all the players. He could never forget getting starstruck into silence once by seeing late exiter Julius Erving and being asked to walk with him to his limo.

RD gives Vince a virtual hug.

 

  • Special Guest Villain: The Bookworm (Roddy McDowall)  


  • URLs not taken: 1. DaveMeltzersTongue.com
  • Entertain The People: 1
  • Screen Captures: 2. Vince, Vince
  • Vince Time Outs: 1

Episode 29: Holy Reincarnation!: February 20, 2022

The Bookworm Turns
"When Commission Gordon's death is faked by the Bookworm, the Dynamic Duo must track down the literate criminal to find out what he is up to."
77 minutes

"RD Wants a Blue Van" Don't we all.

Once again Vince prefers 60s Batman to 20s WWE due to its actual characterizations. They agree that the Batman actors "got it".

At a newly constructed bridge dozens of people golf clap a beauty pageant queen who is there to open it with giant scissors while Gordon stands behind her. A blue van run by KGCTV is also in attendance. RD wonders based on his broadcast knowledge (used to voice a fascinating 900 year old disk jockey) that puts the city on the west coast rather than its traditional place in New Jersey. Vince gives him actual applause.

The Bookworm wonders into the shot of the camera as Dick watches this on Stately Wayne Manor by sitting way too close to the screen eating his milk and cookies. (Aunt Harriet was elsewhere wearing a bra.) To Bruce's questioning Dick's recognition, the Boy Wonder points out his "crazy clothes that look like old worn book bindings" of a regular brown leather suit, a desk lamp on his head, and trick eyeglasses "with the secret radio stuff built in." RD uses a headlamp for maintaining his pinball tables. Vince wonders if he wears one during sex. 

Bookworm has his goon, or as he calls him a Printer's Devil (an old term for a printing apprentice), shoot Gordon's stunt double off the bridge. Bruce declares they don't need to wait for a call on the Batphone from Gordon's corpse (to be grumpily answered by Alfred, who's not here this episode). He tells a tearful Aunt Harriet that they have to go pay their respects within 15 seconds of his "death". 

Bruce: "I solemnly swear by my oath as a crime-fighter that this outrage will not go unavenged! To the Batpoles!"

The Duo run into Police HQ to discuss the situation with O'Hara (:20) as a woman in really tight pants tosses a book (For Whom the Bell Tolls) into the Batmobile. RD wishes he had a copy of the Bookworm's theme with him. O'Hara turns into Mickey Mouse as he loses his mind against "you pasty faced devil!" Then Gordon walks in. His secretary Bonnie rushes towards him in a very sensual manner. RD thinks there's something between the two. Robin: "Holy reincarnation!" Gordon was actually delayed by a ticket by "a monumentally stupid police officer." This causes O'Hara to overdramatically belly laugh and show his bad teeth. Gordon: "Are you anxious to be transferred to the Department of Sanitation?" Batman has to explain the situation "performed by an ex-pert high diver in Bookworm's pay." He then gets an alert on his utility belt from the Batmobile's bomb detector, and he ejects the seat with the book bomb on it that explodes into thousands of pages. The Printer's Devil who is observing all this reports to his boss with a very big book communicator. Batman makes the expected pun on the book's title.

In the Batcave they learn Bookworm is a "failed novelist". RD wonders how such a thing is possible when he and Vince have written some. Vince: "That's a big overtaking man." Batman determines some of Bookworm's plans from the plot of the book (an American is sent to blow up a bridge during the Spanish Civil War).

Bookworm's lair is the expected library, where for once his girl Lydia Limpet is actually his girlfriend. "You're one clever worm, Bookworm." He responds with a soliloquy about books. Vince feels nostalgic listening to RD. Worm then loses his own mind with Lydia wonders why he doesn't attempt to write again, saying he has "no originality" to write anything of his own. Vince wonders why he didn't self-publish. He's about to piledrive Lydia into the ground with a giant book (and according to Vince make her breasts explode) until he sees the book (which looks more like a telephone book) is about self-control and starts speed reading it with his hands, getting the idea to add a "twist in our plot".

Here's a thought; since Batman is all about redeeming criminals, why doesn't he get Bruce to help Worm with the writing and publishing and thus take another villain off the streets?

In the Batmobile the Duo wonder on Worm's motive. (:37) Gordon calls for their assistance, prompting a Batturn which RD demonstrates with his Lego Batmobile. Upon completing the maneuver the Duo then call the Parachute Pickup Service in another Blue Van. Then another Blue Van shows up as the Bookmobile, driven by his other goon Pressman. 

Batman declares Worm has "blown up the bridge" through a projected photograph from the Bookmobile. They can't climb up the wall it's on with rope so they instead first use a "Batzoom." As they climb up, the first window celebrity, Jerry Lewis, pokes his head out of a separate window to greet them both. "Holy human flies!"

Having seen the Bookmobile, Batman orders Robin back down by "reverse Batclimb" so they can use the "Batray" at "12000 deci-bells." This draws out Worm and five scrawny goons, leaving Lydia tied and gagged inside the Bookmobile, so they can fight. And by fight, they first run circles around the Duo. Batman: "Wait! Your glasses!" To Robin: "Remember: never hit a man with glasses." Worm hides in a dumpster as the Duo throw in the goons with him, only to find it has a trapdoor which they all escape through. Batman: "You cowardly worms!"  

They go to Lydia in the Bookmobile.
Robin: "Holy Cinderella! It's just like a fairy tale!"
Batman warns it could be a trap.
Robin: "She has honest eyes."
Batman: "Never trust that old chestnut that crooks have beady little eyes. It's false. I say we subject her to the most rigid test."
And then he gasses her so that they can take her to the Batcave. 

They put her under the Hypermetric Lie Detector to hear Worm hasn't actually told anyone his scheme yet, but it relies on the Duo dying. Unlike many other women actors on the show, Francine York actually had a long acting career on television. Early morning Vince getting on top of his screen to watch the episodes subjected him to seeing her "very bad skin" and thus only 7 Batpoles. RD has 7.5. 

Then Lydia starts with the lying, like how Worm plans to steal the Declaration of Independence (now THERE'S a role for Nicholas Cage to play!). Robin gives a huge eye roll.
Batman: "Another trap, of course."
Robin: "You could say that again."
Batman
: "Another trap!"
He tells Robin to guard "the crooked girl" while he just leaves to walk into the trap anyway.

Lydia flirts with Robin enough to ask him to read a book about "the complete English history" that when opened gasses him. She calls up Worm on her own communicator: "Bookworm, do you read me? Am I legible?" 

Jump cut to Robin hanging upside down in the bell of Wayne Memorial Clock Tower (in memory of Thomas Wayne). (:59) Vince wonders if this infringes on later villain Clock King. Worm soliloquies some more, confusing his goons by asking for the time in bad French or Dutch. After giving his goodbyes he gets the bell ringing with Robin swinging around in it. RD wonders how a villain with "no imagination" can have such an ingenious plan. 

Narrator: "Stick merciful cotton in your ears! The death knell sounds tomorrow!"

Vince enjoyed the cleverness and the new villain, even if only for the week. RD agrees, even if he thought the skin in high-def didn't look bad.

Vince asks RD on his opinion of Cody Rhodes leaving AEW. (:64) As he relates and wrote about, he considers this a good thing overall for the two companies and the industry. However they also hope there's a good payoff in the long term. This is also assuming McMahon doesn't continue to lose his mind and squander him.

 

  • Special Guest Villain: The Bookworm (Roddy McDowall)  


  • Entertain The People: 1
  • Blue Van: 3
  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. The plus side, Mrs. Deal
  • RD Time Outs:  1 (Real Quick) 
  • Window Celebrity: 1. Jerry Lewis