Episode 19: Cereal Killer: August 29, 2013

What a mouthful.
63 minutes

RD is once again in Amsterdam for his business, and has even trapped himself in his hotel room to make his phone call. Blade laughs at the absurd situation for some reason.

RD: "See, that is worth me staying in this hotel, so that I could sit here and talk with you about Liz's granny panties."

Blade has a 25 year old erection. He should get that looked at by a doctor. (:06) Randy Savage's erection is brought up.

RD had a dream about being interviewed by Al Isaacs and constantly shilling himself before ending his interview with a bad joke. In other words, he made him listen to his radio progrem. (:08)

RD's Skype balance is running low, so he warns the show may be running short. Oh, if only that were true. (:13) He has an idea on basing his 'segments' on how much money they wasted - I mean, consumed. If he did that however, he would probably have to write the whole episode off as a loss. Blade bemoans having responsibilities. This costs 4 cents. (:16)

RD reads a sent-in plug that he forgot to read back in Indy in his Jeff Foxworthy impression. (:19)

RD takes a look through his minibar. (:23)

RD took a TRIP to a grocery store to buy some chips. (:28) He doesn't mind the Lays, even if they do smell like leather/shoes for some reason, but the Dutch ones make him gag.

This of course leads to discussion about wrestling clowns.

Coke or Coca-Cola? (:37)

Blade: "Real quick, before we get sidetracked..."

Blade doesn't want to be a father, not even to "accidentally adopt" a child. This pleases RD, as does us all. (:47)

Blade once met a rich dude. (:49) RD apologizes for the show devolving into yet more cereal discussion.

Blade's Boo Berry green poop is finally vindicated through an online search. (:55) This site is once again mentioned. (:57)

Blade has no idea who is winning in their drinking game. To his credit, I don't think anyone else really knows either. (:60)

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 7. NuclearClown.com, WrestleCrap.com, #OccupyCannes, Matt from X-Entertainment, Dinosaur Dracula, The Pirate Bay, USA Network 
  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Youth, spike.
  • Blade's Poor Performance Excuse: Ear infection for two weeks.  
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Gorilla Monsoon.

  • Blade Time Outs:  9 (2 Real Quick)
  • RD Time Outs:  3 
  • Blade Burps:  2
  • You’re Hurtin' Me Randy!:  1

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 4: Horny Natalya

(RD: Before we get into the recap I got to admit I dropped the ball here. Personal family issues kind of blew up in my face so this got delayed by a couple of days. My bad.)

Before we go on with the recap I found out some very interesting news about one of the cast members for this horrendous show. For you see before she became a part of WWE Eva Marie was a…Contestant in the 2012 “Miss Double D-Cember Beauty Pageant”!

Now for those that aren’t familiar with this pageant; the “Miss Double D-Cember Pageant” is held by local So Cal radio station KROQ as a part of “The Kevin & Bean Show”. Basically it’s a pageant where they want to show hot chicks in bikinis with barely any talent trying to score free concert & event passes. Eva Marie was a contestant using the name "Natalie" but failed to win. It’s kind of famous around here that all walks of women try out; from office personnel to porn stars (Porn Star Sara Stone)! Not kidding. A former porn star did compete in the “Miss Double D-Cember Pageant” & now it looked like Eva Marie did too.

From a whore who falls short in getting herself in an orgy for “Avenge Sevenfold” tickets to a WWE Diva. Once again WWE picks another great woman “talent” to represent them & by “talent” I mean “sex toy”.

Enough making fun of Eva Marie now because I can sure make LOTS of fun of her in this recap so here we go!

Previously on Total Divas…

Episode 4: “The “FAT” Twin” OR “Horny Natalya”

We’re in what it looks like Kansas City as Nikki & Natalya are doing some shopping when they passed by a clothes shop that Nikki wants to check out so she can buy something sexy for John Cena. Natalya wants to help Nikki find something perfect to wear for Nikki but Nikki wants Natalya want to find something sexy for her boyfriend Tyson Kidd whom she’s been with for over a decade! Natalya mentions that ever since Tyson Kidd got his knee injury there has been no sex life between them at all! Nikki is trying to find something sexy for Natalya but honestly she thinks Natalya & Tyson are like an “old couple”. (RD: “And what’s wrong with being an old couple. It shows they are loyal to one another while I’m betting Cena will drop your ass Nikki fast if he finds someone hotter than you.”) Natalya finds something Nikki thinks is not sexy so Nikki finds something for herself & Natalya to try on. Nikki comes out in a pink see-through bra & underwear combo while Natalya tries on a stunning black braw & underwear combo with satin robe (RD: “Purr…”). Nikki gets dressed while Natalya tries on a sexy red bra & underwear set. (RD: “Yum. Sometimes you forget that Natalya is a skilled pro wrestler & PROBABLY a couple of the women that’s holding the Diva’s Division together, the other is AJ Lee, but she is one fine piece of ass.”) Natalya thinks she found something to turn Tyson on.

Total Divas Title Entrance of Long Death!

RAW’s setting up in the Sprint Center at Kansas City. Our cast members are getting dressed for an autograph signing. Cameron notices Nikki’s fake knockers & Nikki loves them. Nikki thinks Bree wants a boob job, Bree’s proud of her boobs. Cameron’s not happy that she’s flat-chested. Cameron tries to put some falsies into her top but Naomi stops her thinking she looks fine the way she is. The Bellas & Funkadactyls make their way to the signing area. Cameron’s noticing how the fans are eyeing Nikki’s surgically enhanced funbags but Naomi says that Nikki is wearing a push-up bra so of course everybody’s noticing them! Nikki is rubbing it in Cameron’s face how the fans are drooling over her & her saline bags. Cameron’s rubbing it in Nikki’s face saying she’s getting a boob job because she wants more money. (RD: “There are only three jobs where a boob job might help a woman get money: Model, Stripper, or Porn Star. Just sayin’.”) Naomi’s telling Cameron to shut up on the boob job talk. Cameron tells Naomi that she made an appointment with a plastic surgeon & she’s coming along!

We’re in the hotel room with Bree & Daniel Bryan talking about where to go for breakfast. Daniel’s looking for a place to eat on his Smartphone. Bree’s looking at herself in the mirror thinking she’s fat. (RD: “Really?!? Bree’s borderline into Kelly Kelly ‘walking skeleton’ look here!”) Daniel thinks it’s funny that Bree always worried about her weight. (RD: “ACK! Apologize! Now! Daniel Bryan’s going to be a dead man soon! Never laugh that your woman is worried about her weight! Never!”) Bree wants to do a juice cleanse for an upcoming WWE Photo shoot but Daniel thinks Bree looks perfect.

We’re heading over to Tampa, FL where Natalya comes home to see Tyson watching a past WWE PPV in the Living Room. Natalya says she knew Kidd ever since they were kids & fell in love when they grew up in the pro wrestling world. (RD:” AW! That makes me feel all squishy.”) Natalya’s trying to talk Tyson into going out for dinner but Tyson just wants to watch “Team Hell No” (Daniel Bryan & Kane) take on “The Shield” (Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose). Natalya says ever since Tyson got injured he spends most of his time in physical rehab which leaves her as a caretaker & loosing that spark in the relationship. (RD: “In Tyson Kidd’s defense as a person who went through physical rehab let me say that it is a PAIN to go through. Just sayin’.”) Natalya goes into the bedroom & changes into that black bra & underwear set she bought to show Tyson; Tyson reacts as if nothing has changed. (RD:”WHAT?!?! Did his penis also get injured as well?!? You have one attractive blonde with great boobs IN HER UNDERWEAR & YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING?!?!? F&$k you Tyson Kidd!”) Natalya just gives up, lies down on the sofa & puts her head on Tyson’s lap thinking she has self-image issues.

(RD: “Dear God Almighty!”)

Nikki wants to have lunch with The NXT Divas mainly for the sole reason of keeping an eye on Eva Marie. The NXT Divas arrive & lunch starts. Eva Marie & Nikki start talking about Instagram & their followers (RD: “Honestly I want to smack them for this. For those that know me I think all Social Media is just one giant ‘Hey-Look-At-Me!’ deal so I barely believe in it but for those that do follow me on Twitter & FB thanks for putting up with my crap. Anyway though shut up Eva Marie!”) when Eva Marie spots someone posting on Nikki’s Instagram pictures saying she’s “fat”; of course that pisses Nikki off but at the same times she says she doesn’t care. (RD: “That was the whole purpose of that comment. He was trying to piss Nikki off! For that he gets 5 TrollaBucks to spend at Trolla but he can only spend it when there’s a full moon.”) Eva Marie & Nikki go into a debate over women & self-image issues while Nikki actually cries over it. (RD: “Hey Daniel! A Bella hater made Nikki cry!”)

We’re in San Diego as Nikki is having dinner with Bree & Daniel; Nikki’s considering getting desert first for their dinner. Daniel mentions that Nikki always gets desert first. Bree notices that Nikki’s drinking & eating desert & wants to tell her to stop with these eating habits because WWE hired identical sexy twins. Bree tries to convince Nikki to go on a juice cleanse with her which Nikki reluctantly agrees to because maybe she needs to lose weight. (RD: “The Bellas need to lose weight like Blade needs to be sober.”)

We’re in Los Angeles, CA where we see Jimmy Uso & Naomi waiting for Cameron who pulls up In a very expensive car dressed like she’s the “Black Paris Hilton” with little Chihuahua dog . Cameron wants to take Naomi with her to the plastic surgeon today; Naomi says she wants to take Jimmy along for the “male perspective” & also secretly to talk Cameron out of getting a boob job. Jimmy forcefully gets in the back seat holding Cameron’s dog “Noodle” & unfortunately for Jimmy Noodle gets car sick but it’s okay with Cameron because…

Cameron (right): “She’ll probably eat it up.”
Naomi(left): “What?”
Cameron (right): “Dogs like to eat their throw up.”

(RD: “Uh…no Cameron. Most dogs don’t eat their own throw up. My family has one for years & he never ate his own puke. What an idiot! Sheesh!”)

The Funkadactyls & Jimmy arrive at the plastic surgeon & they talk to a female consultant who happened to have her own boob job here. Cameron is trying to get how the whole boob job process works then the consultant whips out her boobs from her blouse for the whole world to see. (RD: “Come on E! Move those pixels damn it!”) Naomi is kind of overwhelmed by it while Cameron gets a free feel-up on the consultant. (RD:”Oh did I mention that the consultant is cute with nice D-Cups! Damn it! I wish I was there!”) The consultant says the surgeon will be in any minute, if they have any more questions, & if she wants to show them her boobs again. Naomi wants Jimmy to see the consultant’s boobs so she drags Jimmy from the waiting room to the consulting room & the consultant whips out her boobs again which Jimmy just covers his face. (RD: “OOH! There’s a problem. On one side you got a nice pair of boobs that a hot woman is willing to let them see BUT you got your fiancé there so you don’t want to look that interested. Man it sucks to be Jimmy Uso right now. I wonder if I can bang the consultant? Hrm…”)Naomi is offering Jimmy a “free pass” on this one so Jimmy has a little breast play on the consultant. (RD: “I think it’s best to say that Naomi is without a doubt the best fiancée EVER!”)

Jimmy goes back to the waiting room acting like he’s got the vapors. MEANWHILE the surgeon arrives & offers Cameron the various sizes & choices that she might want to “upgrade” from boob wise. The surgeon offers Cameron to take the implants home so she can try them out. Naomi asks Cameron to do one of their dance routines with the implants to see what she would be working with. So Cameron does some booty shaking & the implants fly out of her top, Naomi thinks there’s something wrong with Cameron. (RD: “What? You mean Cameron’s a dumbass? I think we all know that.”) Unfortunately for Cameron the surgeon recommends 1-2 months off from WWE to recover from the surgery which is something Naomi is not too thrilled to hear.

Back in San Diego as The Bellas stop at a juice bar to get some drinks to go. Bree wants this to work so they can be identical again but after drinking her juice Nikki thinks it tastes like “a garden”. Bree wants them to stick on this juice cleanse by drinking it at least 5 times a day which is something Nikki is not too fond of.

Back to Tampa as Natalya & Tyson are getting lunch at a restaurant. Natalya wants to stay away from the sexy stuff & stick to wanting to talk about their upcoming wedding. Natalya wants a small wedding which is about 150 people or so & most of them are Hart Family members & WWE friends. Tyson isn’t too serious about the wedding talk (RD: “It’s because he’s a guy!”) & thinks this is just something that Natalya wants. Natalya wants to negotiate for how many guests should be in the wedding but thinks Tyson’s not serious about any of it, Tyson’s more concerned about his knee injury more than anything which doesn’t please Natalya at all. Tyson doesn’t want to talk about the wedding which Natalya changes the subject.

We’re back & The Bellas are in their car & Nikki is not too thrilled so far on her juice cleanse because she’s dizzy & hungry. Bree has a couple of juice bottles for them to drink. Nikki is regretting going on a 20 DAY juice cleanse & she’s bitchy. (RD: “Since when is Nikki NOT bitchy.”)

Back at the hotel where Jimmy & Naomi are enjoying life poolside. Cameron then walks out sporting her temporary implants to show off. Cameron’s been sleeping & wearing them so far all day & she thinks she looks hot right now with the implants. Naomi wants to see Cameron’s boobs handle the pool so she wants Cameron to take a swim; Cameron won’t do it unless Naomi gets in the pool. So there they are Naomi in the pool & Cameron decides to jump in the pool when one of her implants POP out of her top & land in the pool, which Naomi now knows that breast implants do indeed float in water. (RD: “Pfft. Guy science 101! We all knew that!”)

We’re at Nikki’s apartment where Bree’s telling Nikki about her day when Bree’s noticing something fishy is going on with Nikki. Bree does some scavenging around the kitchen & finds an empty wine bottle which Nikki doesn’t consider cheating NO! Wine has “Anti-oxidants” according to Nikki. Bree’s mad that Nikki cheated at the juice cleanse & thinks Twitter is right by calling Nikki fat!

(RD: “HOLD ON THERE! Neither of The Bellas are fat & for Bree to call her fat is probably one of the most messed up things ever! This is why women have horrible image problems.”)

Nikki thinks Bree was being rude for calling her fat & doesn’t want to be all skeletal like Bree! (RD: “Nikki Bella may be a gold-digging angry bitch but in this instance I actually agree with her.”)

Back in LA at Cameron’s apartment where boyfriend Vincent (RD: “The guy from episode 1 that stupidly wanted to fight Brodus Clay of all people.”) wants to see Cameron in her new implants. Cameron comes out with two different sizes, one B-Cup & one C-Cup, to see which one Vincent likes. Vincent gets to cop a feel & he likes the C-Cups. Cameron does a quick change & comes back sporting F-Cups! (RD: “Okay Cameron sporting those puppies I would love. Hey I’m a big boobed lover all right?”) Vincent is literally sweating & drooling over Cameron’s F-cup monsters, Cameron thinks they are too big & heads back to her bedroom. (RD: “Hey! No boobs are too big. It’s the women having them make them look bad!”)

The Bellas are going off to a “Summerslam” photo shoot. Bree tells Nikki she’s feeling great because of the juice cleanse but Nikki thinks Bree’s supporting a guilt trip on her. Nikki goes on a hell of a rant on Bree thinking what she’s doing is BS & hates it when she gets called fat by the haters but having her own twin sister say that to her is BS & walks off AGAIN!

We’re back as Bree finds Nikki back at the trailer & Nikki is sick of all the “fat” comments & blames Bree for all of her image problems & loves her curves. Bree apologizes because she THOUGHT she was helping Nikki out & mentions her self-image problems as well. Both apologize for the mess that they caused to each other & say they are going out to eat. Bree finally accepts that being identical twins isn’t a selling point to them.

Over to Natalya’s house when Tyson mentions that he has a special surprise for Natalya today. So the couple take a nice car trip where Tyson has a surprise for Natalya & that is…Get married at a court house right now!

(RD: “God you’re an idiot Tyson Kidd!”)

Natalya isn’t too thrilled with Tyson’s surprise. Tyson was thinking he wanted to do something special to THEIR relationship which involves him & Natalya. Natalya is upset about this & wanted to have the family be involved in their marriage. Tyson wants to do it now. Natalya doesn’t want to do this at all & wants to go home. Tyson stops her thinking the courthouse marriage is the right thing to do. Natalya lets Tyson Kidd HAVE IT by going verbal at him calling him an un-romantic poser & she wanted the big marriage because she has NOTHING with him at home & he treats her like one of the guys & hell Tyson pays more attention to their pet cats than her! Natalya calls Tyson “pathetic” & runs away from him. Natalya then calls their marriage off!

We’re back at Natalya tells Tyson the wedding is off. Tyson calls Natalya a “Bridezilla”.


Natalya tells Tyson that he basically thinks 13 years of their relationship is basically crap & their relationship is not meant to be & their wedding was supposed to represent a way to honor their relationship together. Natalya thinks this is Tyson’s way of getting out of their relationship & she wants no part of it!

RAW is setting up & Cameron wants to show off her implants by jumping up & down in front of Damien Sandow.

Damien Sandow: “Only the simplest of minds enjoy the simplest of pleasures.”

Naomi thinks Cameron is completely out-of-control. Cameron shows Seamstress Sandra her implants & she likes them. Cameron wants Sandra to sew the implants into her costume so they won’t fly out of her top; Sandra is okay with that idea. Naomi unfortunately is not because she thinks now The Funkadactyls will be a laughing stock. (RD: “You’re not there yet but you are getting there.”) Naomi gives her opinion on how Cameron is OK the way she is, Sandra says if she’s got the implants why not use the, & especially since Cameron has “mosquito bite” boobs. (RD: “Cameron said that.”) Sandra says she doesn’t want to see flat-chested women on TV because she’s used to seeing that & it’s better to fit women with boobs.

Raw’s about to go live soon & Sandra has sewn the implants into Cameron’s top. The Funkadactyls are getting ready for tonight so Cameron grabs her new enhanced top & shows them off in front of The Bellas. Cameron lets The NXT Divas hold her new top & JoJo is surprised how heavy it is. Nikki’s thinking that Cameron’s trying to steal her spot for being “fan favorite”. (RD: “Nikki’s once again so full of crap. She’s not the fan favorite because it’s AJ Lee since she’s the first ever WWE Diva to get over a million followers on Twitter!”)

RAW’s starting off & during a “Team Hell No”/The Shield Match; Cameron walks in to finish getting ready & she notices that Naomi’s already ready but there’s one problem. Cameron’s missing an implant from her top. Naomi thinks it’s funny, Cameron thinks Naomi stole it, Naomi says she didn’t steal it, Cameron says she can’t go out because she now looks lop-sided, Naomi suggests putting Cameron’s old padding into her top so that’ll work. Bad timing comes up when a producer tells The Funkadactlys they’re next. Cameron’s running around like a chicken with her head chopped off & wants Naomi’s help finding the missing implant but Naomi takes off to the RAW stage because she doesn’t want to get in trouble. Cameron’s about to roll up in the fetal position because she says she going to become the biggest joke in WWE history. (RD: “Joke? She’s already a joke!”)

The “Team Hell No/Shield match is finishing up & Cameron improvises by the old school way of using Kleenex to stuff her top. Cameron runs to the “Gorilla Position” of the stage with The Bellas looking oddly concerned about Cameron, with Natalya soon following her. The Bellas watch from backstage as The Funkadactlys escort “Tons of Funk” (Brodus Clay & Tensai/Sweet T) to the ring as they go up against “3MB” (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, & Jinder Mahal). Nikki’s boy friend John Cena shows up near The Bellas & Bree admits that they “Pranked” (RD:”More like sabotaged if you ask me.”) Cameron by stealing the implant. Cena calls out The Bellas for treating Cameron bad & they must do the right thing. (RD: “You certainly don’t want to piss off SuperCena! He’ll punch you into dust!”) The Bellas think it’s was a big joke since they are “family”. (RD: “No it’s called being threatened. Women & the pro wrestling industry pull this type of crap all the time! The Bellas were legitimately afraid that Cameron would be the better Un-Diva. At least Cameron didn’t sleep her way to the top NIKKI!”) After the match The Bellas confront The Funkadactyls saying that Cameron “lost something” & Nikki shows the missing implant. Bree pulls out Cameron’s padding & apologizes saying it was a “joke”. (RD: “Yeah right!”) The Bellas & Cameron have some backstage small talk but Cameron tells us that she looking for revenge on The Bellas! Cameron decides that she won’t get the boob job for now because she wants to be a role model. Bree tries on Cameron’s implants & thinks its looks pretty weird.

Natalya returns home to find out that Tyson does have in fact some romance left in him because he had the home scattered with rose petals, candles, & a bottle of wine. Tyson gives Natalya a bouquet of roses & Natalya is shocked. Tyson apologizes to Natalya for not being romantic & if they had problems she should had said something; Natalya apologizes to Tyson because she felt she was missing something & maybe the wedding could fill that void. Natalya suggests a beach wedding with their pet cat being the ring bearer. We end the show with Natalya & Tyson about to get some sexy time.

End Of Show

WCR Video: Smells Like DDP

Does Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" smell like DDP's Theme? (from WCR #208)

(Video by R.V.M Kai)

Be sure to visit here for the archives

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 3: LOVE STINKS!!!

Before we go on with this torture fest we had some news coming out that E! is going to give "Total Divas" a complete season. Great.

Previously on Total Divas…

Episode 3: “Planet Funk is Funked Up” or “LOVE STINKS!!!”

We’re in San Diego as The Bellas are going out for lunch & Nikki admits to everybody in the world that she is in fact a dumbass! Nikki tries to explain to Bree that “Tree Cutters” doesn’t make sent but “Tree Trimmers” do. (RD: “*sigh* I told you all this would happen. This is the E! Network. They put out crap like this all the time. I feel stupider already by watching it.”) Bree has to prove Nikki wrong by Googling it &…Nikki’s right. (RD: “D’oh!”)

WWE Total Divas entrance. (RD: "Damn It! They made a long entrance now!")

Bree & Daniel Bryan are packing up getting ready to go on to the next stop so they decided to talk to the family bulldog via video chat. Bree & Daniel talked about the moving situation & they are moving to Phoenix so they can spend more time with family & the dog. Daniel brings up if Bree told Nikki about them moving, Bree’ silence tells us that she has not. Daniel tells Bree that she needs to tell Nikki.

Over to Tampa, FL at Naomi’s apartment where Naomi & Jimmy Uso are returning home from some time off the road. Naomi & Jimmy have some fun for a bit but then Naomi realizes that she left her engagement ring in the jewelry clean but Naomi tells us that she never wears the ring for professional reasons for fear of getting stolen or lost. (RD: “Uh…Oh!”) Jimmy’s not happy that Naomi took off her ring; Naomi said she forgot to get it out of the cleaner. So Jimmy put the ring back on Naomi’s hand & tells her please try & not to take the ring off.

Over to the NXT Training area where the NXT Divas are getting wrestling training drills from NXT Head Trainer Bill DeMott. DeMott has Eva Marie & JoJo wrestle for a bit in the ring & Eva Marie admits that JoJo’s ring skills are way better than hers. While doing Body Slam drills DeMott tells Eva Marie that she has to control her landing or else she’s going to get hurt which COINCIDENTALLY enough happens now when JoJo suffers a head injury after a nasty landing from a Body Slam. (RD: “Told you all that the Un-Divas are botchy.”) Looks like JoJo suffered a concussion & she’s benched from drills.

Naomi & Jimmy have dinner at a Mexican Restaurant & Jimmy brings up the issue of why Naomi doesn’t wear her engagement ring at work; Naomi brings up how WWE wants the Divas to look like they are single. (RD: “She is partly right. WWE also wants their wrestlers to look single as well. Still Jimmy has a good point there in the fact that Naomi can show that she’s still engaged & single. Big Show is a great example. That tape he has wrapped around his ring finger? That’s Big Show’s way to show that he’s married.”) Naomi defends her position by saying that when its work time she takes it off but still wears it when she’s off work which is something Jimmy takes offensive to. Naomi says that when they do get married that ring will stay on her finger. Jimmy accepts it for now.

Back to San Diego where The Bellas are in a gym & Bree wants to tell Nikki about moving to Phoenix. Nikki “Humble brags” yet again that she nailed John Cena last night & she has to look good to motivate herself while Bree looks like a mess. (RD: “No comment.”) Bree slowly tries to tell Nikki that she’s moving to Phoenix; Nikki doesn’t like it at all & blames Daniel for this. Bree defends Daniel saying that it’s not his idea but hers, Nikki gets offended thinking that Bree will drop everything they have in San Diego, Bree says that’s not going to happen, Nikki walks off pissed.

We’re back & Nikki’s going into a restaurant where Nikki says that she & Bree will meet a movie producer because they are going to star in their first movie. (RD: “The Bellas are going to be in a movie?!?!? Acting??!? If their acting is like their wrestling then…DEAR GOD ALMIGHTY NO!!!”) Nikki is the first to arrive & nobody’s there; Nikki calls Bree to see where she is & Bree completely spaced out on the meeting for today. Nikki is pissed that Bree is caring about family more than career. (RD: “Now Nikki not everybody can be a giant gold-digging whore.”) The Bellas’ manager & the movie producer arrived & Nikki blames Daniel for everything so far. Nikki tries to lie to cover for Bree but they aren’t buying it. While the producer is talking about doing stunts, Bree finally arrives just in time for Nikki to snark at her.

Back to Tampa & JoJo gets a visit from her boyfriend Sebastian because he’s worried about JoJo’s concussion. JoJo introduces Sebastian to Eva Marie & they take off to the beach.

Back to San Diego where The Bellas go to their personal trainer to work out some more. Bree tries to bring up the whole Phoenix moving thing but Nikki’s ignoring her. Bree tries to get Nikki involved with the move but Nikki’s doesn’t care.

Back to Tampa with the lovebirds of JoJo & Sebastian; JoJo tells Sebastian that she has to go to NXT practice today, Sebastian wants to spend more time with her. JoJo is stressed because she likes Sebastian but doesn’t want to choose between him & WWE. Sebastian basically says that he’s tired of waiting for her & decides to break up with JoJo. JoJo is crying that the break-up is happening as she sees Sebastian walk out of her life.

Back at Tampa in the NXT Training area as Naomi & Jimmy practice. Naomi says that Jimmy is a great person to train with. Naomi wants to add a Jumping Over-The-Top Leg Drop to her arsenal but she’s scared of doing it because she doesn’t want to hurt the Divas or in this instance Jimmy. DeMott gives her a little push so Naomi does the move after having some doubts. DeMott asks Naomi when did she get indecisive & needs some sense knocked into her. Jimmy tells DeMott that they are having problems with their engagement; Naomi is not happy bringing up private issues at work. Jimmy talks to Naomi about her indecisiveness on the engagement will affect her work & he needs to know now if they are going to get married. Naomi can’t come up with an answer because all she thinks about is work. Jimmy wants an answer, Naomi wants everything to work out, Jimmy’s not happy with what he hears.

MEANWHILE Eva Marie wants JoJo to talk about the break-up & JoJo sounds like she might quit WWE. Eva Marie doesn’t seem to understand what’s going on right now with JoJo. Eva Marie tries to be sympathetic with JoJo but JoJo admits that she doesn’t know when she’ll ever go home. Eva Marie thinks JoJo is acting a WEE bit selfish here.

Back to San Diego where Bree & Daniel are packing when Nikki decides to come over to actually help with the move & Daniel’s packing for RAW. Bree’s thinking of bringing one of the costumes for an upcoming PPV, Nikki doesn’t like Bree’s idea of an outfit because it give Nikki “Cameltoe” thanks to her new fake knockers & she says crotch a lot which makes Daniel REALLY uncomfortable. (RD: “I know what Daniel would say to end this conversation. He would say…)

Daniel & Bree continue to pack while Nikki just sits there & does nothing. While Daniel searches for some more stuff to pack; Nikki starts to complain over the whole move AGAIN! Bree calls out Nikki for being a bitch (RD: “Again!”) & being rude to show up & not work. Nikki responds saying that Bree was rude for being late for their meeting with the producer, Bree said that she did apologize & she’s not taking Nikki’s crap so if she’s not going to help then she needs to leave! The Bellas have a gigantic fight over the whole move with Nikki thinking it’s stupid to move for a dog while Bree thinks Nikki’s acting childish. Nikki calls them ungrateful & takes off. (RD: “Ungrateful?!? Coming from the next Michelle McCool who’s sleeping her way to the top?!? You have got to be kidding me here! Ungrateful! Sheesh!”)

We’re back in Tampa & at the NXT Training area where DeMott has Eva Marie & a few Un-Divas running drills. JoJo arrives but she has to sit in the audience area due to her recovering from a concussion. Natalya soon arrives (RD: “Natalya debuts at the halfway mark? Really?”) to give the Un-Divas pointers. Natalya soon notices JoJo just sitting there & doing nothing so she pulls JoJo aside for a little girl talk. JoJo brings up her boy problems as of late, Natalya explains that Sebastian must make some compromise for JoJo since she’s only going to get one shot in WWE & that she’s might not be able to make it with Sebastian & the WWE together & Natalya thinks Sebastian can’t take JoJo’s desire to be a WWE Diva. JoJo can’t take what Natalya just said so she storms out of the NXT Training area; Natalya follows her & tells her that she’s trying to be honest with JoJo. JoJo says that right now she’s literally torn between two loves.

Back in San Diego as we catch Nikki & John Cena are driving. Cena notices Nikki spotting a blemish on her face. The both of them joke about it. Nikki tells Cena how she had a fight with Bree & Daniel, Cena sounds like he’s supporting Daniel & Bree on this one.

Nikki says that Daniel is taking Bree away from her; Cena calls Nikki selfish (RD: ”On a personality gold digger like Nikki the word ‘selfish’ does fit here.”) & defends Daniel & says that Nikki was just lashing out in anger & fear of losing Bree. Nikki realized what she did was wrong & both of them go lovey-dovey for one another.

Back to Tampa at Naomi’s apartment where Naomi decided that she wants to crash on the sofa to watch some TV. Jimmy wants to talk to Naomi about their engagement, Naomi wants to dodge the whole subject, Jimmy wants Naomi to talk about because right now he’s not sure that Naomi wants to get married. Naomi freaks out saying that she’s willing to give everything to Jimmy but she wants her career first. Both of them fight for a bit but Jimmy wants Naomi to do at least one thing to show that she’s willing to get married. Naomi doesn’t want to deal with the issue at all. Jimmy is PISSED! Jimmy packs up all of his clothes & yells at Naomi saying that he’s willing to be there for Naomi for the rest of her life but her job at WWE will not be; then Jimmy throws a glass at a wall & storms out of the place.

Back in San Diego & its moving day for Bree. Nikki shows up to say she’s sorry for picking a fight with her, Bree accept the apology & says that Daniel made her realize that Nikki was right as well. The Bellas hug it out.

We’re heading to RAW’s next stop in Kansas City as our cast come together. Naomi tells everybody about how she & Jimmy got into a fight about their engagement, Bree understands that Naomi & Jimmy needed this fight to see where they are, Naomi says she doesn’t mind the commitment. Cameron walks in now & she’s been SICK! Tonsillitis & Cameron mentions that she also has a yeast infection as well. (RD:”Okay we didn’t need to know that.”) Our cast is telling Cameron she should be in bed but unfortunately for Cameron the WWE Talent Relations guru Jane (Geddes) ordered her to come to work because The Funkadactyls have a match tonight. Naomi’s happy that she has a match just so she can release some stress. One of the Talent Relations slave monkeys tells them that The Funkadactyls match will be an 8-person Mixed Tag Team Match & The Funkadactyls will be going against none other than…The Usos!

Back from the break & The Funkadactlys try to get themselves out of this match with Naomi’s personal issues & Cameron saying she’s sick. The Talent Relation slave monkey says business is business. Naomi is freaking out because she never wrestled Jimmy in the ring while Cameron’s worried because she’s ill.

WWE Superstars IS ON right now with The NXT Divas watching the 8-person Mixed Tag Team Match with Tons of Funk (Brodus Clay & Tensai) & The Funkadactlys vs. The Bellas & The Usos. Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls makes their entrance no problem BUT when The Usos do their Samoan War Ritual Dance, Naomi is not too thrilled to be in a ring right now. The Bellas make their entrance & they try to get all flirty with The Usos which once again Naomi isn’t too thrilled about to see. Nikki gets really flirty with Jimmy & now Naomi is PISSED! Naomi is literally shooting on Nikki but things get REALLY awkward when Nikki TAGS IN JIMMY! WWE Mixed Tag Team Rules states that Naomi must tag in either Brodus Clay or Tensai but she stares down Jimmy then…Naomi GOES FOR THE HEAD SCISSORS ON JIMMY! Jimmy is in shock over what just happened; Naomi says that “maybe you’ll talk to me now!” Tensai gets in the ring & he has the “Uh…I shouldn’t be here” look all over his face. The match continues with The Funkadactyls & Tons of Fun getting the win. The Funkadactlys try to do their post-match routine but Naomi is so out-of-character right now & she feels really uncomfortable. After the match The NXT Divas head backstage to hug Naomi & with Natalya there JoJo realizes that she wants to be a WWE Diva so goodbye Sebastian. Natalya understands the whole situation & is happy that JoJo is sticking around.

Cameron tries to catch up with Naomi backstage but Naomi is so stressed out about it. They find a place to talk at the RAW Interview stage where Naomi tells Cameron everything, Cameron asks the same questions that Jimmy did, and Naomi admits that she’s afraid of failing the relationship in addition to scars from her relationship past. Cameron gets through to Naomi saying she’s scared & she has to take that chance, Naomi realizes that it’s her so she wants to find Jimmy to talk about it.

At the end of the day Naomi finds Jimmy & wants to talk but Jimmy doesn’t want to talk to her, Naomi apologizes to Jimmy for everything that has happened recently. Jimmy suggests that maybe they need to break up, Naomi comes out with the truth about not wanting this relationship to fail & how she was cheated on; Jimmy accepts the apology & everything is right again.

End Of Show

Episode 18: Airhead Football League: August 13, 2013

Why this picture? See Episode 10 :D
22 minutes

RD has 'successfully' managed to upload his Archives online. And it can be yours too!...for the low low price of $14.95 (plus Shipping and Handling). Act now and we'll also include an archiving of this very site ABSOLUTELY FREE!

WWCR is 8 years old. Thankfully the Co-Hosses don't spend 10 hours reminiscing like they did the last time. Instead we get, well, this day's phone call. I'm not sure which is worse.

The Kansas City Clambake are currently beating RD's nameless team 2-0 at their Total Divas Fantasy League Drinking Game thanks to a surprise interception by Bill DeMott, among other things. (:06) Blade wants to add animals as possible players. They really need a league commissioner here I think. Their conversation mercifully ends when someone rings on Blade's door. John Thomas perhaps?

Still no idea on what the ultimate prize is.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • 8th anniversary of broadcasting together!
  • The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. Total Divas, USA Network


  • Blade Time Outs:  2 (1 Real Quick)

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 2: I LIED!!!!!!!

Previously on "WWE Total Divas"...

WWE Total Divas entrance of relative (RD: but thankful) shortness!

Episode 2: “A Tango with Fandango” or “I LIED!!!!!”

The NXT Divas sneak from backstage to be a part of the audience at a RAW event just in time to see Fandango make his entrance, Eva Marie says that seeing Fandango dance with a different girl every week makes her think that she can do it too. (RD: This was before Summer Rae became Fandango’s regular “dancing partner”.) Eva Marie sees being Fandango’s dancing partner a chance to be on the RAW roster. While Fandango is wrestling against R-Truth; Naomi sees Cameron scavenging through her wardrobe with nothing to wear. Cameron finds her Wrestlemania wardrobe & rather not talk about it. Cameron suggests they change seamstresses from Sandra, the one that makes The Funkadactyl outfits regularly, to a different seamstress on the WWE roster. Naomi tries to plead to Cameron sticking to Sandra for loyalty but Cameron says every time Sandra makes an outfit it’s either last minute or they get screwed over. If things go bad with Sandra Naomi wants to shift all the blame to Cameron.

MEANWHILE The Bellas are doing a coffee run backstage & they suggest doing their own version of “Wife Swap” MEANING The Bellas are going to live with Cena first then with Daniel Bryan. Nikki brags about how big Cena’s place is (RD: “Nah it doesn’t sound like Nikki’s after Cena’s money. Nope!”) & says that Bree is going to get wet & sticky from being at Cena’s place. (RD: “And yes that means what you think it means.”) The NXT Divas walk around to find Natalya & they find Natalya so they get some snacks, Natalya warns JoJo not to eat the brownies since they wear spandex, JoJo says she can still get away with it. (RD: “Speaking as a hetero male let me say that the Divas need to eat some more! If I want to bang a stick figure I’ll bang a stick figure!”) Eva Marie is asking Natalya about Fandango & his revolving door of dance partners, Natalya says Fandango is very particular & wants a good dancer. (RD: “Wait? Fandango? The same guy that used to do that horrible YET funny pun gimmick from a couple of years back? Must be a Vinnie Mac thing since Fandango is his idea.”) Natalya asks that Eva Marie wants to be Fandango’s dance partner, Eva Marie says yes & she can dance. Proper timing as Fandango walks in & he kisses all the ladies. Natalya brings up that Eva Marie can dance; Fandango is interested in seeing her moves. (RD: “Someone should tell Eva Marie that the dancing Fandango does will not require the use of a pole.”) Fandango mentions that he uses the local dancers in the area but they are looking for a permanent dancer. Eva Marie says she knows she can be Fandango’s permanent dance partner but the problem is to convince WWE of that.

The Bellas are waiting backstage until Road Agent Road Dog enters & gives the details of Bree’s match with Naomi & suggests that The Bellas do the twin switcheroo during the match. (RD: “Wait? It was Road Dogg that suggested that?!? Road Dogg is an idiot! Don’t you know that now there’s a pretty obvious way to tell The Bellas apart now since one of them has boobs & the other doesn’t! The twin switcheroo doesn’t work anymore?!? SHEESH!”) While the Bree/Naomi match is going on Nikki describes that their characters are “giant bitches” but they are sweet in real life. (RD: “Someone needs to watch last week’s episode because both Bellas are real bitches in that one!”) Eva Marie walks around to find WWE’s Talent Relations guru Jane Geddes & suggests she be Fandango’s dance partner due to her dance background. Jane & her partner agree with it as long as Fandango is okay & Eva Marie needs to be serious about it. While Daniel Bryan takes out The Shield, Fandango runs into a waiting JoJo. JoJo shills for Eva Marie hoping to be Fandango’s next dancer, Fandango says “we’ll see” as Eva Marie walks in. Fandango gives a “hey baby” to Eva Marie (RD: “When a guy says ‘hey baby’ it usually means he wants to nail her.”) & they talk small talk. Fandango says he’ll be in Tampa but he’s going to take a shower & he’ll be “thinking of her”. (“RD: Oh I bet he will!”)

JoJo suggests that maybe Eva Marie should maybe jump in the shower with Fandango.

Eva Marie then tells JoJo one tiny little detail which is that she basically lied about having a ballroom dance background. In fact Eva Marie has no dance background at all!

We’re back just as Bree & Daniel jump on Cena’s & Nikki’s private bus to head to the airport. Nikki says she’s happy Bree & Daniel are coming along because now they get to experience what Nikki experiences. (RD: “On Twitter that’s called a ‘Humble Brag’ & it’s a douchy move.”) The couples hop on the private jet & we get a no panty shot from Nikki! Nikki talks trash about Eva Marie & specifically on how she wants to be Cena’s tag team partner. (RD: “Oh I bet she does!”)

(RD: “Oh come on Momma!“)

Nikki continues to talk trash about Eva Marie now about what she wears & she says that she’s “protective”. (RD: “I call that making sure that you get paid.”) Cena likes Eva Marie due to her boldness & that does not sit well with Nikki.

We’re at Tampa, FL now & Eva Marie gets a visit from boyfriend Jonathan who are dating for almost 2 ½ months & flew from the West Coast to see her. JoJo’s surprised that Eva Marie has a boyfriend & leaves the both of them alone. Jonathan proposes to Eva Marie & she says yes.

Over to Los Angeles, CA where Cameron & her boyfriend Vincent are horsing around while Vincent is DRIVING! Cameron calls a costume designer named Mike who’s willing to design costumes for The Funkadactyls in no time.

Back to Tampa as we are at Cena’s house/mansion where Daniel & Bree walk down to the kitchen where they see Nikki & Cena already; Bree is amazed at how big & extravagant the place is. Cena offers Bree/Daniel a tour of the home which Nikki takes care of. The three explore every place of Cena’s mansion which includes a “Dressing room” which is one HUGE walk-in closet which has an elevator to the Master Bedroom. The three come across the pool with its own waterfall & the guess home which is, according to Bree, way nicer than Bree’s apartment & Daniel’s house combined! Nikki offers Bree/Daniel a ride in Cena’s Maserati & Bree can’t resist that. So Nikki drives Bree around in Cena’s car & when they come back Nikki gets Bree to admit that Bree likes the rich lifestyle; Bree says she likes the “low-key” lifestyle that she has with Daniel but Cena’s rich lifestyle has some good points. (RD: “AW! So that’s what we’re calling living poor eh? Low Key? Wasn’t he defeated by The Avengers?”) MEANWHILE back at the NXT Divas as her new fiancé Jonathan leaves Eva Marie says she needs to step up her game because it’s all about chemistry & she knows how to get a man. (RD: “She THINKS she knows how to get a man but truth be told she’s just guessing. I’ve had women forced their tongues down my mouth for unknown reasons & there was nothing there! Nothing!”) JoJo asks if Fandango knows Eva Marie has a boyfriend; Eva Marie LIES again says Fandango doesn’t know & she takes off her engagement ring & that does not sit well with JoJo!

We’re back at Cena’s house again as the couples have fun in Cena’s pool specifically taking dives off Cena’s waterfall. Bree thinks Cena’s home is that of a rap star. (RD: “Oh don’t bring up Cena & rapping together!”)

MEANWHILE back at LA, Cameron meets the new costume designer & she tries out the new costume & she likes it!

MEANWHILE back at Tampa where Eva Marie is meeting Fandango for a lunch date & here comes Fandango. The both of them laugh at the first time they meet. Eva Marie flirtatiously asks what it takes to be Fandango’s permanent partner. Fandango interviews Eva Marie about the position & asks for her experience, Eva Marie of course LIES by saying she has some but mentions she has a little bit of a right hip problem due to in-ring training, Fandango thinks he can fix that with a little massaging but of course wants one back, which gets Eva Marie to blush. Eva Marie thinks it’s going well with Fandango. Fandango offers Eva Marie an invite to a club he’s going to so of course she says yes. Eva Marie arrives at the club & Fandango jokingly says we should do some ballroom dancing. So Fandango & Eva Marie are talking, Fandango is flirting hard for Eva Marie but she now feels she’s put in a very awkward position.

We’re back as the couple now head out to Daniel’s home in Aberdeen, WA & in the private jet Cena proposes a wood-chopping contest with the girls against the guys & a handicap giving The Bellas a 3-1 handicap meaning for every 1 log The Bellas chop Daniel & Cena have to chop 3. The couples discussed the prizes & if The Bellas win the guys have to give massages once a week for a month. The couples arrive in Aberdeen while Bree & Daniel like it Nikki & Cena do not by the looks on their faces. They soon arrive at Daniel’s house & Cena notice that Daniel doesn’t own a TV, Daniel says that it’s not his thing. Nikki can’t stand Daniel’s home but worries that Bree can’t as well since she might be here forever. With Daniel getting firewood Cena acts concerned for Bree because how small the place is & he’s asking if the house is big enough for kids since Bree wants them. Bree says she likes the place but she can change a couple of things in it but she has to be careful since this is Daniel’s childhood home. Nikki suggests first thing Bree needs to do is to get rid of Daniel’s family furniture.

MEANWHILE back at Tampa in Naomi’s apartment with Jimmy Uso & JoJo when Naomi gets a call from Cameron about the new outfits & she describes it perfectly. Jimmy makes fun of Cameron & is concerned how the new costumes will look on Naomi. Naomi’s not happy with that.

MEANWHILE back in Aberdeen as the guys get ready to chop wood, The Bellas come out dressed only in sexy tops & jeans trying to cheat their way to winning by using sex. (RD: “Okay seeing those outfits let me say that Bree…EAT A GOD DAMN SANDWICH! YUCK!”) The teams each have 3 minutes to chop wood & the contest starts. Bree chops most of the wood while Nikki complains that the axe hit her in the vagina. The Bellas chop 8 pieces of wood now it’s the guys turn. Cena uses his Kryptonian speed to chop the wood really fast but Nikki uses her fake boobies to distract him. (RD: “I hate to say this but…Cena got a bulge from Nikki’s antics & we had to see that. ARGH!”) Its Daniel's turn & he fails miserably! The Bellas win! In bed Cena suggests sexy time with Nikki but they need more wine. So Nikki takes Bree with her for some grocery shopping. Bree’s kind of freaking out leaving San Diego for Aberdeen. The Bellas take a walk in the park & Nikki freaks out about stepping in geese poop. Bree is telling Nikki how she’s freaking out over the change of environments & Daniel’s home; Nikki says that Bree can’t live in Aberdeen & in fact Daniel’s home needs to be leveled. (RD: “And they say The Bellas are nice. BITCH!”) Nikki suggests that Bree tells Daniel that his home should be a vacation house.

We’re backstage at RAW & Eva Marie is looking for Fandango to audition but finds JoJo instead. JoJo tells Eva Marie that she needs to tell the truth about having zero dancing experience, Eva Marie feels completely out of control at the moment. Eva Marie finds Fandango & tells him that she’s nervous about the audition, Fandango tries to support her, and JoJo thinks that Eva Marie is getting out of control. While the WWE crew is setting up for RAW, Eva Marie finds Natalya for help but also get JoJo & The Funkadactyls as well. Eva Marie comes out to say she’s dancing with Fandango & The Funkdactyls are shocked about this. Natalya says that maybe Eva Marie should get Fandango to help her out advice wise since he is a legit dancer. When it was brought up that Eva Marie can’t do The Splits, Cameron asks the question of not be able to do The Splits if you are a dancer. Cameron tells her that she can’t suck tonight. (RD: “Wait??! Cameron says this!”) It’s time for Eva Marie’s audition & she knows she in trouble.

We’re back & its audition time for Eva Marie to be Fandango’s new dancer. The Divas are watching Eva Marie’s audition & she botches it big time! (RD: “Bella sized botch!”) Eva Marie’s dancing was more like watching an animated dry heave. Fandango walks over to the Talent Relations people & Talent Relations guru Jane Geddes is PISSED! Fandango won’t do the audition again; Natalya says Eva Marie is screwed. Eva Marie is getting called out for her so-called “dance experience”.

The ring is filling out & Cameron wants to see Naomi in her new costume, Naomi takes off her coat to show that she doesn’t like it because…Her vagina is exposed! (RD: “Not kidding. We’re talking major vag exposure!”) Cameron loves the new costumes while Naomi does not. (RD: “When your junk is hanging out yeah that’s a good sign not to like what you wear.”) Cameron suggests they go to Sandra to fix it. So The Funkadactyls go to see Sandra, Cameron kisses Sandra’s ass; Sandra turns around to see Naomi’s “Dangling Chad” as it were. Cameron blames the higher-ups in WWE for the new wardrobe change & maybe Sandra can fix it. Sandra refuses to do it since its somebody else’s work, Cameron basically throws a fit saying they won’t go to her for costumes anymore, Sandra can live with that, Naomi says “OH HELL NO!” Sandra gets Cameron to apologize for going behind her back for getting new costumes, Cameron says “my bad”, Naomi wants Cameron to say “I’m Sorry” so Sandra can fix the costume, Naomi says I’m sorry while Cameron says it with her teeth clenched. (RD: “That’s not Divalicious Cameron!”) Sandra says that’s not good enough, Cameron then begs saying she’s sorry, Sandra says no. So instead The Funkadactlys wear previously worn costumes which Cameron is not too thrilled about because it’s not sexy enough for her. Naomi tells Cameron not to piss off Sandra anymore.

Eva Marie gets called into The Principal’s Office by Stephy Bear. Stephy Bear basically says Eva Marie FU-Barred big time. Eva Marie admits to lying, Stephy Bear asks if she managed to get away with it what then, Eva Marie admits to screwing up & will never do it again. Stephy Bear says that if she screws up like this again she’s fired! (RD: "Quick story time here about this scene. Eva Marie knew she was in trouble big time but Stephy Bear wasn't going to chew her out. WWE higher-ups asked Stephy Bear if she would appear on the show to do this & she said yes. Eva Marie did not know that things would go far the way that it did.")

End of Show

(RD: "Before we end this episode recap I like to give John Cena a little advice here. Um...About Nikki. The man who sings this song didn't listen to his own advice & now he's married to one. Don't make the same mistake.")

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 1: Urge To Hate The Bellas...Rising

I have to say that working at wrestlecrapradio.com is different than the websites that I had previously worked before. If you want something done you would either create the topic yourself or get one suggested by your boss. Being threatened to watch a TV Show & recap it or else get fed to Zombie Nathaniel on the other hand is what I call a “motivator”.

I do this from time to time when I recap Reality TV Shows that feature pro wrestlers & well in this case I’m not sure you would call this “Reality TV” or “pro wrestlers”. More like “used sex toys from ex-WWE employee Johnny Ace” in this instance. Yes you & I are going to follow WWE’s latest train wreck away from wrestling itself “WWE Total Divas”.

Now “Total Divas” is on the “E!” channel which airs Reality TV all the time & it’s the home of their greatest masterpiece “Keeping Up With The Kardashians!” They call pro wrestling awful, try watching this show! They had one episode where the Kardashians skanks had a vagina sniffing contest to see which one had the better smelling one & I’m not MAKING THIS STUFF UP! E! comes up with some of the most awful pile of crap that you ever see in Reality TV they will give anyone a show. Hell they gave a show to one of the members of the infamous “Bling Ring” of all Christ’s Sakes here and now they decided to give WWE a Reality “Scripted” TV Show (it means that even though it looks like a Reality TV show its scripted just like any other show out there but the only difference is that this is crap.) where it follows their WWE “Divas”. Yeah that’ll be more fun than Mike Check in a helicopter!

Before we get to the recap a little note here; “Divas” to me are women that are TRAINED as a pro wrestler & can actually-you know-wrestle! “Un-Divas” are women that are NOT TRAINED as a pro wrestler & they were hired because of the Diva Search or they were dancer/model/whatever looks good in a bikini & they can’t wrestle in a ring even if you put a gun to their heads. So…enjoy

Episode 1: “Welcome to the WWE” or “Urge to Hate The Bella Twins…Rising”

We start off the show with The Bella Twins introducing themselves & how they are ALL over the place. The Bellas tell us that Nikki is the LOUD one (RD: Yeah I bet she is!) while Bree is the quiet one. Bree then gives us the shock answer saying that when she tells people that she is a WWE Diva they are in shock (RD: More likely when they see one of their matches which are HORRIBLE! The Bellas are currently right now the worst Un-Divas to step in the ring ever. Their botches are legendary. Wanna know the reason why they are not in a WWE ring more often? That’s your reason right there; they are the biggest screw ups in pro wrestling ever! Oh and by the way nice shot of Katarina “Winter” Waters in there during their intro package.) Nikki says that she’s addicted to the energy of the fans, goes into the typical crap of WWE, says that she is a “sports entertainer”, & it’s “Broadway with Body Slams”.

(RD: Okay first of all if you’re going to do the typical WWE corporate crap it should be done in this way:)

Dad from Taz-mania: “Now you see here son WWE is one of the major sports entertainment blah-blah-blah organizations out there. WWE blah, blah-blah, blah-blah-blah-blah. Blah-blah, duh blah-blah-blah, yackety smackety!"

(RD: See? All better. Also The Bella Twins come out to a song called “You Can Look But You Can’t Touch” which is basically what you hear in a strip club. Since when is that Broadway?!?)

The Bellas THEN mention that they were gone for a year and the rest of the WWE Divas are pissed now that they are back. Now we move over to The Funkadactyls Cameron & Naomi. Cameron & Naomi talk about how Cameron’s the mouth (RD: Yeah I bet she is!) & Naomi’s the action. (RD: By the way this is Cameron’s second Reality TV Show since her last one was “Tough Enough” in 2010 & she got eliminated in Week 1 for being “Divalicious”.) Cameron describes how Naomi’s got a fat ass while Naomi uses that as her finisher called “The Rear View”. The Funkadactyls says that since The Bellas left WWE they took their spots now so The Bellas better watch out! (RD: More exciting than Mike Check in a helicopter. Continue.) Cameron describes the hierarchy of pro wrestling which starts out as the “Face of the Company” which are The Bellas, the mid-card which are The Funkadactyls, and you have the veterans which lead us to…

Natalya Neidhart. (RD: Is it me or do any of you freak out when you see Natalya at times. She is the child of one Jim Neidhart. Sometimes I see Natalya with Jim Neidhart’s goatee & it freaks me out at times.) Natalya brings up her background & her relation to The Hart Family & her dad of Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Natalya says she’s been training & working in a wrestling ring for 13 years. Cameron says that they are entertainers, they don’t have to train, they are entertainers, they have to go in there & kick some ass. (RD: Uh…in pro wrestling you have to BE trained to be in the ring. That’s why she was eliminated in Week 1 folks.) Nikka says that they have to go out there to perform & be good that what they do & she’s proud to be a Bella twin & if she wasn’t one well then f**k. (RD: E! bleeped that. Oh & Nikki Bella to quote Angry Jim Ross, Go F**k Yourself!)

WWE Total Divas entrance of relative (RD: but thankful) shortness!

We’re in Tampa, FL as The Bellas head into a WWE NXT Developmental training area. Nikki said The Bellas were burnt out so they quit WWE but now they had the time to recover & they are back. (RD: Are you sure your back because WWE is the only place that you & Bree can work & that you two couldn’t find anything else while you were away? Because that sure feels like it because both of you had NOTHING going on job wise. All I can remember is one signing appearance that was in my “backyard” Frank & Sons in City of Industry, CA & that’s it. I’m just sayin'.) The Bellas are happy to be back in time for Wrestlemania 29 while we see them “train” (RD: More like murder) in the ring. The Bellas are bitchy right now because one of them wants to eat while the other says that she’s “PMS-ing”. (RD: E! Channel folks!)

MEANWHILE! The Funkadactlys are at a gym training & Cameron’s bouncing around like a 5-year old drinking a can of soda while Naomi’s telling her to relax. Cameron’s so happy that she will be wrestling at Wrestlemania 29. (RD: First of all I thought you were ENTERTAINING? Second of all I remember Cameron’s wrestling on “Tough Enough” & it was ugly. Really ugly.) The Funkadactlys are training with Jimmy Uso, Naomi’s fiancé, & Jimmy’s trying to get them ready for Wrestlemania. Cameron says that they both complement each other really well.

MEANWHILE! Natalya’s training at a WWE NXT facility too with NXT Head Trainer Bill DeMott while Natalya’s dad Jim Neidhart & Tyson Kidd watching what is going on. Natalya gives us what’s going on with Wrestlemania since there’s only going to be one Diva’s match & every WWE wants that match. Natalya says that many people though with her being a part of The Hart family she had easy connections but instead it was the opposite & she had a hard time getting anywhere. (RD: Well that & I’m betting she doesn’t put out like SOME WWE Divas. Just sayin’….Michelle McCool. That’s all.) Natalya worked all over the world before getting into WWE. “The Anvil” tells Natalya to work on her facial expressions as she continues to train.

At some mansion as Nikki is with thisone person. That person is known as a lot of names: “SuperCena”, “Kal-El”, “The Last Son of Krypton”, “We Hate Cena”, “Jesus Christ”, yes Nikki Bella is with John Cena. Cena’s trying to teach Nikki how to fish the normal way (RD: Not his way which is shooting the fish with your Heat Vision.). Nikki says that she & Cena are in a relationship & she’s happily in love &...it’s JOHN CENA!!!! Cena & Nikki kiss then after that Nikki says they are like the movie “The Notebook” & Nikki wants to re-create the classic scene where they make out in the rain. Cena agrees & they re-create the scene with Nikki saying that Cena’s so sweet.

OVER to San Diego, CA Bree is at her apartment with one bearded wonder himself Daniel Bryan. Bree says that he & Daniel (RD: My “RD Experiment” buddy.) have been together for over two years. Bree & Daniel take the dog for a walk & considers taking the dog with her to Wrestlemania. Bree once again mentions how she & Nikki are so different even when they both live a mile apart from each other. While Bree & Daniel are heading towards the Farmer’s Market; Nikki pulls up in a very expensive Range Rover that Cena bought for her. Nikki shows off her new car to Bree & Daniel & mentions that she’ll be “breaking in the back seat soon”. Bree says that they both wanted a Range Rover for years so she’s happy for Nikki. Dinner time with The Bellas, their mom, & Daniel; Bree mentions that this is a “serious gift” for Cena to give to Nikki. (RD: Yeah because that means Cena’s expecting sexy time & for Nikki is important because Earth girls are very fragile for Kryptonians. Like steel cutting through paper.) Nikki says that it’s complicated but she tells US who’s watching about Cena’s divorce & how damaged he is now so it’s going to be awhile for him to heal. Daniel thinks it’s odd that Cena gave Nikki a car but Nikki thinks it’s the car first then the ring later.

Now we’re here at Madison Square Garden in New York, New York as Natalya greets WWE Head of Creative Stephanie McMahon (RD: Stephy Bear to you & me) talking business. Natalya talks about this business side of WWE & how they have to do a lot of things before a show happens & since this is the start of Wrestlemania week people will be fighting for those spots. Natalya gets a visit from WWE Talent Relations Jane Geddes & she tells Natalya that she won’t be performing at Wrestlemania. Natalya is devastated by the news. Natalya asks if there will be a Diva’s Match & the reply is it will be a Mixed-Tag Match with Team Rhodes Scholars & The Bella Twins versus Brodus Clay & Tensai & The Funkadactyls. Natalya says that she’s pissed that The Bellas were gone for a year but now they are back & they are throwing their weight around & it’s pissed her off even more so that she trained THEM how to wrestle. (RD: You also forgot Natalya that one of them is nailing Cena.) Oh & Jane also mentions that instead of being in Wrestlemania Natalya will be mentoring a couple of NXT Divas & teaching them the tools of the trade as well. Natalya is PISSED OFF at this news. (RD: I don’t blame her.)

We’re back as we are introduced to the NXT Divas Eva Marie & JoJo. Both of them are talking about how this is a new experience JoJo jokingly says she hopes she packed right. MEANWHILE while Natalya is getting briefed on her assignment Bree “coincidentally” walks in on their conversation, Natalya doesn’t want to see Bree right now. Bree & Natalya greet each other, Natalya congratulates Bree for being in Wrestlemania & mentions the new NXT Divas coming up, and Bree then gives a “whatever” look. The NXT Divas walk in & they are greeted by Jane Geddes while Natalya walks the other way. The NXT Divas are getting what they need but Jane pulls Eva Marie away & asks her that maybe Eva Marie, a red head, should change her hair to blonde; Eva Marie kind of understands the change because she could be mistaken as a Bella Twin but is not happy about the change. Jane leads the NXT Divas to meet Natalya & Bree. Natalya is cordial to the NXT Divas & Jane mentions to Natalya that WWE wants to make Eva Marie a blonde, Natalya wasn’t happy to hear the news but she’s nice about it, Natalya tells US that she understands the change but they have a blonde & it’s her! Natalya tries to convince Jane that Eva Marie looks okay as-is.

Couple of days passed by & Cameron sees her boyfriend in her hotel room who flew in to see her at Wrestlemania, Cameron says that her boyfriend Vincent never saw her “Craft”. (RD: And by craft I mean butcher pro wrestling.) Cameron also says that their relationship is kind of new but Vincent has a way to balance her out. They just saw each other but Cameron has to leave Vincent to go for Wrestlemania Dress Rehearsals.

At Madison Square Garden where the dress rehearsals are happening & Natalya wants to do rehearsals for Wrestlemania so bad but she ended up not only “babysitting” the NXT Divas but also Cameron’s boyfriend Vincent as well. The Funkadactlys are coming back from rehearsals upset; Cameron hugs Vincent & says that she was yelled at by Brodus Clay saying that “They Suck!” (RD: I never liked Brodus Clay before but now I’m a big fan of his!) Vincent wants to fight Brodus Clay over upsetting his girl. (RD: First of all Brodus Clay is WAY bigger than Vincent & second of all Brodus used to be Snoop Dogg’s, sorry Snoop LION’S, body guard so if Brodus can survive that Vincent is an idiot for wanting to fight him.) Vincent takes Cameron over to the corner & Cameron cries over Vince’s shoulder. Vincent is going nuts & he wants to take out Brodus while Jimmy & Naomi slowly walk away from then, Naomi says that she’s connected to Cameron career wise but an incident like this could get her fired. (RD: YAY!) Jimmy’s trying to talk Vincent not to fight Brodus, Vincent says he’s going to f-up Brodus now; Natalya’s trying to calm Vincent down which see does successfully. Jimmy & Naomi left the arena, Jimmy asked Naomi what happened, Naomi tells Jimmy what happened. Jimmy sides with Brodus but not how he handled the situation, Naomi says that Cameron shouldn’t brought Vincent backstage in the first place. Naomi is going to have a talk with Cameron about this.

We’re back & The Bellas want to check out the NXT Divas especially since word is going around that Eva Marie looks like a Bella. Nikki basically throws a fit & asks why WWE would hire someone that looks like her! (RD: "Uh…maybe she’s way more hotter, way more skilled, & maybe….oh I don’t know…trying to bang the main eventer!") The Bellas knock on each hotel room door until they the NXT Divas & Nikki is JEALOUS of Eva Marie while she thinks JoJo is like “a little girl with a big smile”. Nikki tells her that she has to be blonde & Eva Marie just agrees with it, Nikki thinks Eva Marie is going to be trouble. The NXT Divas are supposed to follow The Bellas today which Bree respond with a catty insult. MEANWHILE Naomi visits Cameron to have that little talk. Cameron tells Naomi that Brodus screwed up & he blamed Cameron for it. (RD: Like I said before, this is the reason why she was eliminated at Week 1.) Naomi tells Cameron that what Brodus did to Cameron was wrong but bringing Vincent backstage was also wrong as well, Cameron tries to defend Vincent’s actions, Naomi tells Cameron that bringing Vincent backstage must not ever happen again, Cameron goes “whatever”.

2 days until Wrestlemania 29 & The NXT Divas go to a hair salon where Eva Marie needs to change her hair color. AS the hair stylist slowly strips the brunette away from Eva Marie’s hair she sees what’s going on & does not want to be blonde.

Back at the hair stylist & Eva Marie wants to be a redhead a-la Rihanna. The stylist works on Eva Marie’s hair & she loves it. The NXT Divas get a call from Jane Geddes wanting to see Eva Marie’s hair. So the NXT Divas see Jane & she’s kind of shocked that Eva Marie didn’t go blonde, Eva Marie says the blonde wasn’t working for her & the red head shows off her personality. After looking at it for a bit Jane Geddes…likes it. Jane says even though Eva Marie got lucky she HAS to listen to what WWE says.

At a major party & The Bellas are surprised that Eva Marie went redhead. Natalya’s hosting the Red Carpet event & she’s not happy with it. (RD: Let’s see here. Push all the hot chicks & let the worker do the rest. Yeah that sounds right for WWE.) During the party The Bellas are talking trash on The NXT Divas. (RD: Wow. Jealous much?) Nikki says the NXT Divas need to “know their roles”. Nikki yanks the NXT Divas away from a photo opportunity, which Eva Marie is pissed off about, & the NXT Divas had to stand there & watch The Bellas take photos, which Eva Marie says the Bellas had their one chance. (RD: Damn does Eva Marie have an attitude?!?)

Day before Wrestlemania & The Bellas are having lunch. Bree says she’s going shopping for a wedding ring soon with Daniel; Nikki’s jealous of Bree. Bree asks Nikki if Cena’s a little bit gun shy, Nikki says yes & is concerned when she should walk away. (RD: Like maybe say…When you have a lot of money & Diva Title reigns. Right Michelle McCool?”) Bree tries to be optimistic about Nikki.

Backstage for Wrestlemania & Naomi checks on Cameron & Cameron’s a wee bit touchy especially since Naomi asked her to talk to Vincent. Cameron’s gets all defensive about the situation & we have a Funkadactyl verbal bitch fight. (RD: *sigh* Cameron just being in WWE proves that Johnny Ace had a casting couch.) After the verbal bitch fight Naomi tells Cameron that she’s got issues & she needs to get things straightened out since it’s her problem now. Nikki has dinner with Cena & she has a plan to find out if Cena wants to marry her. Cena tries to be flirty but Nikki kills the mood trying to find out if he’s ready for marriage again, Cena says that “he’s tried it once & it didn’t work out”, Nikki says that now that she’s found the right man she can see being married to him. Cena tries to explain that marriage & family are difficult issues for him. (RD: “Seriously. His dad sent him to Earth on a rocket, the girl of his dreams divorced him. Come on Nikki!”) Cena says that Nikki has made him enjoy life more, Nikki says that Bree & Daniel’s relationship is making her jealous. (RD: “Well that & she can SMELL the money & job security!”)

Wrestlemania time & the fans are in attendance! The Bellas are getting ready. Wrestlemania is about to start soon. Natalya meets up with the NXT Divas & they are watching it from the box seats. The Bellas are watching the Team Hell No/Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston match for the WWE Tag Team Titles & The Bellas have about some emotion as a trout in your local Seafood Food Section. High-Fives for The Bellas due to Team Hell No successfully defending the titles. The Bellas are walking around in their ring gear while The Funkadactyls aren’t since theirs aren’t ready yet. The Funkadactyls are pressuring the seamstresses to get it done since they literally don’t have anything to wear. The Bellas pass by & they get bitchy to The Funkadactyls, Cameron tells The Bellas to keep walking or else it's on like Donkey Kong!

We’re back & during The Undertaker/CM Punk match the seamstresses are trying to get The Funkadactyl’s costumes done fast since they are next. The seamstresses finally get The Funkadactyl’s costumes done in time just as Undertaker Tombstones CM Punk. Natalya acts happy for the Mixed-Tag Match is supposed to happen next but instead we get Cena/The Rock. Natalya wants to know what’s going on so she & The NXT Divas went to see what’s going on. They find The Bellas & The Funkadactyls to find out that their match was cut. (RD: “Fan wise let me say this. We didn’t give a damn about this match.”)

Back from break & The Bellas blame Undertaker/CM Punk for going longer than expected. (RD: “Yeah! Blame two great wrestlers for putting on a match & taking time away from 4 horrible women Un-Divas!”). Nikki is about to cry, Naomi walks out, Cameron follows her. Cameron finds Naomi & she’s crying over not performing at Wrestlemania. Naomi heads back to the women’s locker room to cry it out & contemplate her future. Cameron tries to make Naomi feel better with Layla El right next to Naomi. Cameron finally makes-up with Naomi & she’ll talk to Vincent.

End of Show

Episode 17: National Floozie League: August 8, 2013

Total Drunks %-)
35 minutes

WWCR will be 8 years old.

Blade calls their successor phone calls "TuRDBuS" for some reason.

[We at wrestlecrapradio.com appreciate that the Co-Fruitcakes do visit this here site (possibly while drunk), but we so-called "buffoons" (that's what we are apparently?) would like to clarify that The RD & Blade Show has never, on this here website, been initialed or referred to anything that remotely sounds like "TuRDBuS". It was in fact, at one point, abbreviated as "RD&BS" on the top menu, which later changed to just "R&B", in order to save room. @wwcrdotcom did reach Blade Braxton for comment on Twitter concerning this inaccuracy. His official statement was quote: “Ooops”, unquote. 

Our guess - that damn hobo was/is drunk again.


RD is going to make a section of the site for paying customers like he's some sort of cam-guy. (:04) Blade promises more stuff there is no way in hell he will deliver on.

WWE's new reality show about Total Divas - which is less real than a podcast featuring a terrible Jim Ross impersonation - proved itself as a big 'hit' by gathering 1.52 million viewers for its second week, up from...1.34 from the week before. This is apparently enough though for Blade to arrange a "Total Divas Fantasy League" with RD: i.e., a glorified drinking game. The rest of the phone call involves draft picks, a round of Rock Paper Scissors over the phone at :17 (which RD handily wins), and John Cena. Yes, even on a show about Divas, John Cena has to be involved.

No idea on what would be at stake here though. My guess: the loser has to appear on Total Divas.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 2. USA Network, Dynomite!


  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. John Wayne, Katherine Hepburn
  • RD’s Picks
    Divas: Nicky Bella, Eva Marie, Natalya
    Boyfriend:  John Cena
    Backstage:  Jane

  • Blade’s Picks
    Divas:  Brie Bella, Funkaldactyls
    Boyfriend:  Jimmy Uso
    Backstage Personnel:  Bill DeMott

RD Reynolds, 2013 Telephonic RPS Champion