Minisode #088 Merry Xmas, Johnny Six!

by iggy



December 21, 2007

Chris Engler sings a Trolla version of Jingle Bells
Rowdy Roddy Piper's Xmas PSAs
Unwrapping gifts
Trolla sends Johnny Six to RD

#under the tree #santy claus

088 Audio Snowball Christmas: December 21, 2007

Audio Snowball Christmas
(85 minutes)

This is an audio snowball fight. RD loves the pre-Xmas shows best. Clips of the WrestleCrap Choir singing Jingle Bells are interspersed in this show, one of them being Chris Engler, now of the Trolla Corporation. (:15)

Blade returned to hitting the bottle. Sad News: Lions didn't make the playoffs. (:20) [They'll get 'em until next season! --Iggy] He has another "Big Announcement" for next time.

Blade has a heart-warming story about he Don's flipping off a girl during the Xmas season. (:26)

Obscure Wrestling News (:28): Playboy Diva poll is shockingly led by Chyna and Tranny. Damien Demento has been shooting on Vince McMahon and people who call him a jobber. (:33) The Deever will be at the Big Boy Toy Show. [I'd play with her alright.]

Piper's Xmas clips. (:39) Horsetrolla (:41): Bobtail was the horse's name in Jingle Bells. Mickie James went to the WWE events in Iraq. Blade is worried about wrestlers' helicopters being shot down while bad Creed songs are played. I think that since Vietnam was tragedy, the Iraq War is comedy.

The WrestleCrap Choir has the giggles and is drunk. (:45)

Question of the Week (:51): Give RD a prize/bribe to read your question. RD reads from the Dusty Rhodes book to further prove its existence. Travie Yak (2) wants WrestleCrap audio-books. More Piper clips.

Xmas Gift Exchange (:59): Blade received from C. Thomas Howell rather...transposed gift. Deever's picture is ghostly white and her action figure is black. Perhaps she's the next Soul Man? He also got a Billy Sims Lions jersey. RD received a Brother Midnight T-Shirt (without pants of course) and a Potty Time bear.

Trolla also sent RD Johnny 6. (:69) His first words: "This Place Is A Pit." Blade suggests Johnny be the TNA correspondent. "T N A Sucks," he replies, but he does like porn, so they balance out.

Barking Dogs.

Holiday Haiku That's a Little Bit Naughty and a Little Bit Nice:
WrestleCrap Christmas.
What would make the yuletide gay?
[Michael] Cole in your stocking.

Minisode #087 Food Gimmicks

by iggy



December 14, 2007

RD loves the Xmas food gimmicks
RD bought 10 boxes of Little Debbie Snack Trees

#bladey #booze bar

087 Mira-Hall on 34th Street: December 14, 2007

RD marks out for Jillian Hall
(78 minutes)

Yes, that IS Stephanie McMahon wearing a Matilda shirt.
This show has many teases for next week's episode.

The first instant WrestleCrap induction: Julian Hall's five-song Xmas EP. Blade still loves his Matilda stuffed animal. RD has given up trying to have a clean show. Worst ever impressions. Gay wookie kissing. Speaking of transsexual dinosaurs...

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:19): all the Xmas food gimmicks. RD wisely stocked up on Little Debbie cakes before Thanksgiving.

Obscure Wrestling News (:27): Christy Hemme has posed for Jason Beam as Red Riding Hood. Blade and RD explore the Hogan energy drink brother website, with a special appearance by JT Titty. (:33)

Question of the Week from Zane (:37): More praise about TNA's simplicity and how it has spread to other promotions. SPEAKING OF TNA, they beat WWE in the ratings, well, WWE's ECW anyway, well, on a different night too. (:49)

Blade and RD recap Raw's 15th Anniversary show,  (:52) featuring the return of Bastion Booger, this time wearing clothes. Molly Holly got shafted. Blade loved Steve Blackman's gimmick.

A Kinder, Gentler Haiku:
Jillian's jingle.
I have nothing bad to say.
I would ring her bells.

Minisode #086 RD's Reindeer Play Leapfrog

by iggy



December 7, 2007

Robert Goulet opens the show.
RD's Xmas display was altered.
Blade's odd stories
Feelgood

#xmas crickets #appalled

086 Reindeer Leapfrog: December 7, 2007

Reindeer Leapfrog
(79 minutes)

Xmas crickets. Blade is the Bushwacker Luke of WrestleCrap Radio. The WrestleCrap Book of Lists!!! is out in finer and not finer stores.

Someone rearranged RD's skeleton reindeers so that they were playing leap frog. (:19) Blade says, "I thought you were going to say, 'Get on all fours like Linda McMahon and start barking.' "

Blade's Trip to Mexico...Missouri (:24): Jerry Only gave Blade his shirt.

Obscure Wrestling News (:34): Midgets of Insanity and semen-filled explosions. Anonymous Brooke vows/threatens to be on TNA and in Playboy. I think TNA isn't comparable to AAA baseball, it's more like a has-been league. Pan faced Gail Kim is single. RD thought Fantasy Booking Island would be a surefire hit. He proposes the WrestleCrap Carolers send in clips of themselves singing Jingle Bells. (:43)

Horsetrolla: Trolla products keep the show on track. (:49) Francine to wed. No cake, just a salt lick. JBL called Lillian Garcia a horseface.

Question of the Week from Raging Demons (2) (:55): Resurgence of fake wrestlers? RD remembers a previous Mail Bag segment in which he was constantly shilling. (:62) Black Scorpion 3, David Sheldon, Angel of Death, died.

TNA's four briefcases on four poles match. (:66) One had a pink slip, one had a title shot certificate.

Next week's Anniversary Raw will be three hours long and staffed entirely with WCW players. (:72)

Seventeen Syllables, All You Need to Know:
Fifteen years of Raw.
At this rate, I'd say about
six years too many.

085 Kevin Kleinrock Interview (on Black Friday): November 30, 2007

Kevin Kleinrock Interview (on Black Friday)
(106 minutes)

The Book is finally being shipped. So too are the Speaking Of T-Shirts. Get your own!

RD's Trip to the Black Friday (:14): A small child sleeps in a Toys R Us shopping cart. Coffee and donuts are sold. A woman buys a Playstation 2.

Sad News: Quiet Riot's lead singer died. (:32) Speaking of being anally raped by Michael Keaton...

Kevin Kleinrock interview. (:39 - :70)

Obscure Wrestling News (:70): RD and Blade visit Kaelin KGB. Former TNA interviewer Leticia rode the sybian. Don Mason's bill-racking fun with sex lines.

Question of the Week 1 from Kennedy13 (:83): Miz's magic hat could make him a Bond henchman. Question of the Week 2 from Ismael Naji (whose name gets butchered) (:86): Listening to the progrem while at work. Question of the Week 3 from Erik Majorwitz (4) Sad News (:88): Hulkster was given divorce papers. No more Boob Berry.

Kelly Kelly's handspring elbow came up three feet short. (:92) Last week, Kelly Kelly couldn't get the cap off the can of reddi whip. Carlito has been added to the Looney Tunes skits. (:97)

Seventeen Syllables for the New First Man and First Lady of Wrestling:
Smackdown's new couple.
I wonder if Vickie got
speared on the first date.

Minisode #084 Blade Causes a Disturbance at "RAW"

by iggy



November 16, 2007

Blade upset a kid at RAW.
Blade acted like a Whack-A-Mole
Mickie James lowered the cans for Blade.
Blade had an Andre shirt, and may have belted it as a mini.

#except #alien ham sign

084 Kung Fu Jesus: November 16, 2007

Kung Fu Jesus
(90 minutes)

Blade offended a thirteen-year-old. Chris Engler, now suddenly of the Trolla Corporation, sent Blade a ShirtTrolla for his TV appearance.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:22): "Humane" mouse trap. The Dusty Rhodes book has a Myspace page. RD swears.

Faxtrolla: Trolla products stop the awkward silence. (:31) New Jack started a new wrestling promotion, in Cincinnati, and its first event is at the Intense Arena. Random singing ensues. Gorgeous George dances on the pole at Gorgeous Frankenstein gigs. Carmen Electra sued the Naked Womens' Wrestling League for the $300000 they didn't pay her. That's at least $400000 more than she's worth. (:39) Joanie Laurer changed her legal name to Chyna Doll. The world yawns. (:43) This week's It Came from Youtube is the Ultimate Warrior at a Thanksgiving Parade. RD has a Mii. (:46) A game based on Dancing with the Stars for the Wii will include Stacy Keibler. She may be obscure, but she looks far better than any Diva on the active roster.

Question of the Week (:53): The Co-Hosts get 'hundreds' of questions, and yet only read those from the same handful of people. This one's from Citizen Raider, who likes Carlito's hair. Sadly it may not be on TV for long, as he may be on his way out. Blade says Sable's Playboy pubic hair was photoshopped. Preemptive Sad News: The Deever may be fired. (:58) The producer of WSX will be on WCR in two weeks.

TNA will hold a Turkey Bowl. (:70) RD has eaten at Restaurant. Belt it as a mini. What If Jesus Knew Kung Fu? (:79) A Black Friday Sale is upcoming for the site. Cena says he was 'misquoted'.

Seventeen Freakin Syllables:
Save us, 6 2 2.
What is Chris gonna do? Mur-
der all creative?

Minisode #083 Cinnabon Popcorn

by iggy



November 9, 2007

RD & Blade discuss popcorn.

#wacky varieties #raisins

083 Retro Raw: November 9, 2007

Medicated Furry Dreams with Betsy Russell
(61 minutes)

WCR is unaffected by the writers' strike because they have no writers.

RD's previous sickness is transferable through the phone. Now Blade's nose is stuffed up.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Cinnabon popcorn. (:11)

Obscure Wrestling News (:21): Yokozuna was booked in India. Blade thinks of heel wrestlers wrestling as the ghosts of deceased wrestlers. Lizzy Valentine is making dog food. RD has an advance DVD copy of WSX. Chyna v the Puppy Mill in Christina's Court (the court case being of course Bitch vs. Bitch). (:30) Hardbody Harrison is on trial for sex trafficking. Blade used to have a roommate prostitute. (:36)

Dream Analysis (:38): Jackie Gayda, instead of Betsy Russell, topless on a horse, while Baron Von Raschke is chased by zombie pigs.

Question of the Week (:44): Seth Drakin asks another question. (4) The WrestleCrap Book of Lists will be released on December 1, 2008. ZZ Top.

Rumor has it that Anonymous Brooke was fired because she wanted to wear furry boots, which Melina objected to because that's her gimmick. (:52)

Seventeen Syllable Haiku Summing-up Raw Is 99:
Two-thousand seven.
Last I checked, that was the year.
Somebody tell Vince.

Minisode #082 The ECW Halloween

by iggy



November 2, 2007

Sound effects
Vampire Nunzio took kids trick-or-treating backstage at ECW.
B. Mahoney lives in a pen and CM Punk lives in a trailer backstage.
Goodbye, Anonymous Brooke

#Shirley #Walter Concrete

082 The Anonymous Brooke Tribute Hour: November 2, 2007

The Anonymous Brooke Tribute Hour
(58 minutes)

With a face like that, how could you
not forget remember her?
Sad News opens the show: Anonymous Brooke was fired due to frequented blamings from RD and Blade. The Co-Hosts compare her to Lord Alfred. (:09)

Blade met Coach at a bar once. (:14) Could Mickie James be the next Tatanka (Buffalo)? RD takes Ricola for the throat.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): WWE stars, and former star Booker T, will be on Family Feud. A wrestler is hosting some show named Trick My Trucker. (:25) Mr Big Wrestling will hold an event in which the ECW Zombie will face the Sandman. Some nonsense or other on Nicole Bass.

Question of the Week from Ani (:33): The sun will come out tomorrow. Wrestling Impressions.

Umaga, the Candyman. (:43) Mickie James with Trevor Murdock makes Blade frustrated. A Diva Battle Royale took place, or at least an aborted attempt of one. Nunzio took kids trick or treating back stage of ECW. Balls lives in a pen. (:51) Walter Concrete. "This show? Terrible."

Seventeen Syllable Prescription:
Anonymous Brooke.
Is it the 1st or 15th?
She's now Welfare Brooke.

Minisode #081 Piper's Halloween Tips

by iggy



October 26, 2007

Horror movie hosts, including Huey the Ghoul and Crematia Mortem
Rowdy Roddy Piper's Halloween PSAs
Candy, You're a Fine Girl

#terrorized #idiots driving cars

081 Halloween comes to Froggertown: October 26, 2007

Halloween Sing-Off with Roddy Piper
(78 minutes)

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Halloween tips are interspersed through the show.

People did not like the induction of the The Pirate for some reason. The Co-Hosts make fun of them for some reason.

Blade's "Katie Vick Fan Club" sign was confiscated by WWE security. He also had an army of youngsters. (:18)

Obscure Wrestling News: Lillian Garcia's album sold 3800 units. (:32) Blade goes to a strip stadium. Horsetrolla: Mickie James broke up with Kenny Dykstra. (:41)

Question of the Week from Seth Drakin (3): Khali's treats and tricks. (:46)

Monster Bash. RD will attend a Pinball Expo. RD vs Blade in a Karaoke candy battle. (:52 - :59) Piper tips encore.

DDP and Kimberly's cat is missing. DH Smith debuted in WWE. Candace's collarbone was broken in a match. (:71)

Seventeen Syllables of Halloween Joy:
Happy Halloween.
Don't trick or treat in Piper's
hood or you will die.

Minisode #080 Trick or Treat at RD's

by iggy



October 19, 2007

Oi
Halloween candy aisle
Feelgood

#bow wow wow #courteous

080 Play-D'oh: October 19, 2007

Randy Orton, Soul Man (On the MovieTrolla)
(75 minutes)

Another mention of Don with corn oil. (:09)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:13): Halloween candy. Giving toys to trick or treaters is generally a bad idea.

Oi. Oi. Oi.
Obscure Wrestling News (:24): Elijah Burke no-showed a house show because he went to the wrong Springfield.

Question of the Week from Jason (:29): Shawn Michaels looks old and should be called the heartbreak hobo.

The Trolla Corp has sent a replacement for the Clocktrolla, the Movietrolla, (:35) and it's for wrestling movie news. Khali will be in a children's movie. [I didn't realize Get Smart was a children's movie. - PB] [I can't imagine an adult enjoying it. --Iggy] The Big Nippled Vampire is not appearing porn, sadly, but will be the subject of a "Betty-Page-style fetish thing". (:42) Blade thought Thor was a woman initially. There are talks of Nicholas Cage to star in a movie called The Wrestler. (:47)

The Diva Search has its 'contestants' saving drowning mannequins. (:52) Katie Vick died because Kane couldn't drive a stick. Blade almost hit storage sheds because he was stepping on the clutch instead of the brakes. Glammannequin. David Arquette might go to TNA with Johnny Fairplay. Sad News: Booker T left WWE. (:64) Looney Tunes Raw.

Seventeen Syllable on Something Which Is Like a Golden Shower:
Hornswoggle with bomb.
Coach should've learned from the past.
Remember Cheatum?

Minisode #079 Lanny Poffo Entertains

by iggy



October 12, 2007

Lanny Poffo interview
Tony Atlas doesn't understand CM Punk.

#choked up #pregnant waitress

079 An Evening with Lanny Poffo: October 12, 2007

An Evening with Lanny Poffo
(75 minutes)

Memories from the Legends show. Pink WCW shirt. Lanny Poffo could recite decades-old poems. WCW paid him for years and he never wrestled for them.

A portion of RD and Blade having dinner with Lanny Poffo as he tells them a funny story. (:20 - :26)

The Clocktrolla has stopped. (:33) Sad News: Candace lost to the Glamazon. Even more Sad News: RD wants his money back.

Question of the Week (:39) from Square about virginal wrestlers. RD reads from the Dusty Rhodes book.

Obscure Wrestling News (:46): Aereola will be in a porno, following fellow vampire Gangrel's footsteps. A retarded couple stole Blade's Jay Lethal shirt. Booker T is reviving Halloween Havoc. Will Tough Enough return? TNA Impact now has a second hour, much like WCW's Thunder. (:60) RD wants a DVD called The Worst of Thunder so he can live off the Amazon.com referral percentage. At an OVW show, Tony Atlas told CM Punk not to tape his hands. (:66)

Seventeen Syllables of Curse Words:
Orton won the belt.
He was the last man standing.
Shit, R K O No.

Minisode #078 The Great Debate

by iggy



October 5, 2007

Blade's Trip to the Great Porn Debate
Feelgood
Pac-Man
Kelly Kelly gave the teddy bear back to B. Mahoney.
Ric Flair Financial
RD sings Tranny's Off Survivor

#bunch of nerds #Ginger

078 The Great Porn Debate: October 5, 2007

The Great Porn Debate
(74 minutes)

Blade's Trip to the Great Porn Debate, which for some reason requires music. (:11)

Obscure Wrestling News: The Rock was in a Disney movie and now plans to be in a superhero one. (:18) The Co-Hosts discuss ideas for an 'awards show' somehow for their progrem. (:26) Jim Bronzell has a tie dye figure that even the face commentators made fun of. Horsetrolla: Sarah Undertaker has filed for divorce while the Undertaker has been seen with Michelle McCool of all people. (:32)

Question of the Week (:35): the intro trumpets are said to be from a Final Fantasy NES game maybe. [They aren't.] John Nelson (AKA Ultimate Kennedy) (5) wants Peanuts characters in wrestling. Daphne would make a good Lucy from Peanuts. RD sent Blade some cologne.

RD watches another Diva 'episode'; it's so bland he doesn't recognize until too late that it's a week old. (:41) Clocktrolla: 10069 days. (:50)

Playing with B. Mahoney's Balls. (:54) Tommy Dreamer is balding heavily. (:59) Blade wants to see Viscera wear a belt, let alone win one. Ric Flair wants to go into finance. (:66) Val Venus needs a title, according to the Internet Wrestling Community.

RD sings about the Tranny being kicked off Survivor in only its second week.

Minisode #077 Triple Kelly Dozes Off

by iggy



September 28, 2007

Triple Kelly co-co-hosts
Sound effects
Kelly dozes off
Feelgood
Cher-off
A pregnant squirrel chews on Blade's cable.

#jazz #overnight

077 Co-Hosss Cher-Off: September 28, 2007

Co-Hosss Cher-Off
(85 minutes)

SPEAKING OF Gookers...
Co-Host Contest "winner" Kelly is on the line. Smooth Jazz Blade returns once again thanks to some behind the neck microphone for $5.99.

Blade wanted to get a Black Scorpion tattoo. RD will miss his 20th High School Reunion for the Legends show. Marty Jannety called him asking for chicks.

Obscure Wrestling News (:21): Dawn Marie wants to return to WWE. RD can't hear properly. Gangrel is now directing porn, though without Kevin or Ariel. (:29) Sex with Greg Valentine falling down on you. Johnny Fairplay is a better bull-rider than Vanilla Ice. SPEAKING OF Ariel she wants to be the next Elvira. (:39)

Question of the Week (:42): Tom Insley wants Missy Hyatt inflatable dolls. Blade doesn't know who Bob Crane is. More 'fun' with the Diva Search, "The World Series of Bimbos." (:46)

Clocktrolla: 10076 days. (:53)

"Current Wrestling News" is music-less so we instead sing Cher with RD. (:56 - :64)

Smackdown wedding with Tommy Dreamer's hat. (He loves ho's.) Blade didn't watch it so he makes excuses. The love story of Kelly Kelly and Balls Mahoney. Midgets. Wrestlers drugging women. (Midget wrestlers drugging women?)

These Seventeen Syllables:
The contest's over.
I've only got one more syl-
lable to add: (gong).

Minisode #076 Blade's Wal-Mart Clerk

by iggy



September 21, 2007

RD went to Disney World and Epcot
Blade talks wrestling with a Wal-Mart clerk again.
Feelgood
"Sad News" Morton is back in jail.
Feelgood

#horn #swoggle

076 Musical Sad Balls: September 21, 2007

Musical Sad Balls
(89 minutes)

RD and Blade wonder what to do with Vince's new son Hornswaggle.

Blade once put shoe polish in his hair to imitate Hall and Oates.

New temporary sponsor: WCWArulz.com. Come see them at the Dream Reunion Show at Kokomo!

RD's Trip to Disney World II (:15): RD ate at all the world restaurants in Epcot. Blade's Trip to Wal-Mart: A check-out lady is a mark. Blade is highly aroused. (:30)

Obscure Wrestling Sad News (:35): Rickey Morton is in jail once again for failure to pay child support. A rap about Ric Flair by a former Detroit Lion. (:42) Kamala topped his rocking chair song with a song about molestation. (:44) Random music invites for an 'all-ages show' by random idiots on MySpace.

Question of the Week (:55): Asker The Ravishing One gets Rick Rude's theme song. Clocktrolla: 10083 days. (:62) Candace beat the Glamazon.

Abe Lincoln is an avid time-traveller. (:67) Sad Balls. (:70) Raw made Blade hit the bottle because Phoebe Cates got cut. (:69) The Diva Search is so bad now that its contestants all look like girls that are already Divas and it's only available on the Internet. HHH came back and destroyed like Godzilla.

Seventeen Unstoppable, Deadly, and Lethal Syllables:
Unstoppable Trips.
Call him the UnderHunter,
King of Burials.

Minisode #075 Wellness

by iggy



September 5, 2007

RD & Blade watch ECW
Feelgood

#limited #what a show

075 EWC Radio: September 5, 2007

EWC Radio
(74 minutes)

ECW simulcast. Unlike the last and equally disastrous time RD and Blade tried a simulcast, they at least have the courtesy to warn before hand so you can skip listening this week. It's still terrible however.

The Wellness Policy has removed several wrestlers from WWE rosters. Singing. Jessica Alba drops ice into a man's groin. CM Punk should throw the belt in the trash after he wins it. Art Donovan sound clip. BM Punk calls at the telecast's end.

[Mrs. Deal! Get Forgotten Sin on the line right now, he needs to make an extended commentated video of this! - PB]

Minisode #074 RD's Hardcore Diet

by iggy



August 31, 2007

Feelgood
RD's hardcore diet
Pac-Man

#chafed #full of hatred

074 SummerSnore: August 31, 2007

Nyquil Crap Radio
(78 minutes)

The Colts mercilessly beat the Lions again. RD wants to make another bet.

RD and Blade may meet Virgil at their indie show in Indiana (October 22nd) and ask him to participate in their carnival. (:08)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): RD needs to lose three pounds fast.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): Diva Search Woman and Anchorwoman Lauren Jones has some Surreal Faces. Blade responds with a Bill Cosby impersonation.

RD: "Here's the thing. Everybody does a Bill Cosby impersonation. Like, I am convinced every person on the planet does a Bill Cosby impersonation. I'm also convinced that every single one of them is absolutely terrible."

Buy pudding panties (among other random stuff) at WWE Shop Zone. (:26) One Night Stand should be renamed Going Steady. Pac Man Jones wanted Killings to be at the good hotel with him, so TNA (AKA the Kurt Angle Variety Hour) took out the difference from Killings' paycheck. (:32) Clocktrolla: 10103 days. (:36) Poor Beth Phoenix is saddled with the ridiculous ring name of Glamazon. The Co-Hosts don't really want her around.

Question of the Week (:45): Blade has shout-outs: Random meanderings and acknowledgments to fellow Crappers. Cheebie Diablo has a question about UHF in regards to whether Vince has seen it yet.

Sad News: the Diva Search hopeful who called Batista "Bistro" has been cut. (:49) Missy Hyatt's book is full of penises. This week, on a special Facts of Life...RD actually warns people to record next week's ECW which they will talk about next time. (:55) Blade wants to run cliffhangers that have no chance in Hades of working. (:57)

SummerSlam was a forty-dollar sleep-aid. (:59) Blade recreated Hell in a Cell with a beer can. 'Hysterics' with Vince's prospective baby-mommas makes Blade think of papier-mache dildos. RD loves Balls. Speaking of men with tits...

Intergalactic Super Heroic Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Silver Surfer Rey.
Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
tic 40-inch waist.

Minisode #073 "The Cat in the Hat" Gummies

by iggy



August 17, 2007

Feelgood
Blade's Cat in the Hat gummies
The co-host contest is over, and Triple Kelly is on the line.
Feelgood
Pac-Man

#nine-month shelf-life #Morse Code

073 Pac-Crap: August 17, 2007

Crüe Ball
(69 minutes)

ECW's love pentagram. Miz, the dance squad, and now Balls Mahoney. No Mike Knox love sadly. Alien Hammy.

RD's Trip to Pick-Up Madden 08 (:09): Dr Feelgood video game music from Crue Ball. (:11) Madden 08 came with a superpretzels coupon, a piece of candy, and Axe shower gel. Four-year-old Cat In The Hat candy. (:19)

Co-Hosss Contest "Winner": the sole female, Kelly. She has a haiku of her own. (:23)

Vincent's bastard kid.
A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
Gooker ends in tie.

Question of the Week (:31): Ultimate Kennedy (4) wants work rate ratings in wrestling video games. Macho Kong. I Want My Mommy.

Horsetrolla (:37): Francine is selling used soap which "smells good through the wrapper" and is "a bargain at half the price.". Faxtrolla (:43): Crush died. Demoliton will reunite. The Book of Lists is delayed to October. Big Show's wife wants a cooking show. Clocktrolla: 10114 days. (:50)

Pac Man Jones, wrestler who is forbidden from wrestling. (:52) Raw has been imitating game-shows. Blade still can't get enough of Linda Hogan. SNME returns.

The Co-Hosts talk about SummerSlam before they realize their mistake. 

Haiku That Speaks for an Entire Generation:
Return of the Game?
I'd rather play Atari
2600.

Minisode #072 Big Dave Bistro

by iggy



August 10, 2007

Cereal straws
Celebrity callers
Big Dave Bistro

#ivy #privey

072 Celebrity Call-In Craptacular: August 10, 2007

Two Year Birthday Party Call-In
(99 minutes)

Second anniversary of the progrem and Blade has lined up three legitimate guests. Sad News: RD is unable to get a hold of Mr. Rourke and Tattoo. RD's neighbor Steve has heard the show and disliked Blade's reliance on swear words. Blade 'apologizes'. It's nice to see him stereotype himself in such a manner.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kellogg's Cereal Straws. The first trip of this progrem was to the library.

Blade went to a TNA house show in Kansas City and sat near Terry Taylor. He also took a picture of Kurt Angle. (:16)

Clocktrolla: 10124 days. (:20)

A naked Brother Midnight calls. (:26)

Question of the Week from Thorn, though not necessarily a vampire named Kevin. (:42) Palumbo, one more wrestling biker.

GLOW wrestler Hollywood calls. Moisturizers are discussed. (:46)

Obscure Wrestling News (:62): WWE signed Lacey Von Erich to a developmental contract [which lasts until December]. A Diva Search contestant named Louise Glover thanked Bistro rather than Batista. (:65) Rowdy Roddy Piper will be a GI Joe. After twenty-two years, Cobra has found someone to combat Sgt Slaughter. RD is prophetic for a live action movie. [though sadly he doesn't predict that Destro will be played by the Ninth Doctor. - Future PB]

Ring announcer Fabian Kailen from WSX calls. He's as explosive as the ones on his show. (:69)

WWE Dating Game. (:84) Regal's hair is great. Santino Marella, the spicy meatball. (:87) Supermarket Sweep. Let's Make a Real Deal. (:89) Blade and RD suggest that a midget could play Vince McMahon's seven-year-old son.

This Week's Haiku:
Vince got him some strange.
Thanks to his cheating, now we
get Lance Von McMahon.

WrestleCrap Radio: "Making handfuls of people laugh for two years."

Minisode #071 Fantasy Booking Island

by iggy



July 27, 2007

Don Mason destroyed Blade's Plymouth Horizon.
RD thinks Wendy's has gone weird.
Fantasy Booking Island

#pipin #horse

071 Fantasy Booking Island: July 27, 2007

Fantasy Booking Island
(108 minutes)

RD and Blade were on Bryan Alvarez's podcast. Brooke is not "anonymous" but Blade is.

RD's Trip to Wendy's (:08): Blade's runaway Plymouth Horizon story featuring Don Mason. He is asked to write "The Blade Braxton Story". Wendy's has freaks on their take-out paper bags.

Co-Host Contest Week 18 (:20): Starring Primetime (:25), Tom (:32), Seth (Drakin?) (:41), Ed Salo (:47) and WWE's incorrect and useless trivia book. A recorded message and wrong number sum up the Contest. The auditions are (finally) finished. A "winner" will be announced after the 'tapes' are 'reviewed'. Final Tally: 14 of 24.

Clocktrolla: 10138 days. (:50)

Obscure Wrestling News: Rickey Morton left a show because his tag partner Robert Gibson and his glass eye was making three times as much money. (:53) Tajiri does not want to return to WWE, though no one knows if it has to do with his imprisoned wife. The Zombie managed to beat his opponent last week. Mike Knox is returning to bodyslam the Miz. (:60) Areola is selling her vampire wares. (:63) Jackie Gayda's former boyfriend is looking for an excuse to sell her models by also providing free nude pics. "Good friend of the show" Dan Spivey was arrested for a DUI. The Horsetrolla has a myspace: (:69) Mickie James will be stage-diving at the Warped Tour. Don Mason's grandfather stumbled onto a guy fucking a horse.

The Question of the Week segment has returned. (:74) Josh has an idea for a food related tag team. The Dusty Rhodes book is still at WrestleCrap HQ.

Mr Rourke's Fantasy Booking Island, e.g. Fantasy Crap Island. (:79 - :87)

WWE has put Hacksaw and Sandman into a tag team. Hulk will be on QVC hawking the Hogan Grill. (:87) Washed-up famous people choose to sell food-preparation machines because pretty much anything that produces heat can cook food and the instructions are simple: put food in thing, close lid, turn on. It's good masturbation material for Blade though. McMahon is still behind the times, especially when it comes to music. Battle of Kings: Booker vs Jerome Lawler. (:96) RD loved the Hitman vs Doink / Lawler DQ match.

Delayed Haiku:
'Swoggle's a champ. If
SuperPorky doesn't get
a shot, we riot.

070 Late Night with RD Reynolds: July 20, 2007

Late Night with RD Reynolds
(52 minutes)

Late taping this week, so no Co-Hosss Contest (Week 17). Khali, world champion. Michelle McCool is lovin' life. (:06) Misses RD writes a Women of Wrestling induction and labels the rest of the staff hacks. The Crickets have names now. Apparently Misses RD killed one of them off.

Clocktrolla: 10145 days. (:14) Faxtrolla (:19): DDP and Jay-Z settled the diamond cutter hand gesture lawsuit. Sci-Fi wants to make a TV series based on They Live and want Roddy Piper involved somehow. (:22) WSX went out of business because they had to keep rebuilding the arena. Big Daddy V debuted, with suspenders and giant breasts. (:33) Miz, the ladies man who manages to only attract mannequins. (:37) If someone replaced Anonymous Brooke with someone else would anyone notice? John Morrison won the ECW championship. (:44)

Fifteen-Second Haiku:
No time for losers,
Khali is the champion
of the world. ARGH ARGH.

Minisode #069 Blade and the Food Jobber

by iggy



July 13, 2007

Vince loves hillbillies.
Blade could've bought a food jobber.
Young Harts
WWE Magazine flatters RD.
The Undertaker Building

#overalls #flipensteins

069 Hogan Knows Breast: July 13, 2007

Hogan Knows Breast
(77 minutes)

WWE has many red necks on its roster.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kaboom bowl blaster should do cross-promotions with Kaboom cereal and the video game Kaboom.

No Co-Host Contest (Week 16) because Blade was too hung-over to reply to the contestants. (:18) If that doesn't summarize the Contest...

Mail Bag: John Thomas has a Myspace page. Spiky900 thinks John and the Repo Man should tag team. (:23) A forum fundraiser for Blade to go out on a lunch date with Mimi has so far raised negative dollars. The Nitro girls have no talent and have some strange names. Neil Parthon listens every week (poor guy). (:32) There are actual Food Jobbers and Meat Jobbers. Someone wanted to sell Blade his old mobile food unit. Chris McGuiness has the show's only good joke today. (:38) Funk Sock. It's spelled FAXTrolla.

Clocktrolla: 10152 days. (:40)

Obscure Wrestling News (:44): RD wants to go all Iron Sheik on Blade and cut promos against him. Teddy Hart, Bret's cousin and formerly of WSX, is heading to WWE to flip all over the ring. (:49) RD and Blade want to go on a dinner date, so RD suggests they go to JR's BBQ restaurant in OK which is close by to former Lion Billy Sim's own one. (:53) WWE Magazine has new features that are similar to WrestleCrap columns. (:57) Shelton should go in search of his momma. The Undertaker has a new $2.7 million building, which is NOT the world's biggest stable. (:63)

Blade has sources. (:69)

Seventeen Syllables on Brooke Hogan's Tucans:
Brookester's new boobies.
What, you ask, could be better?
Some bright orange nipples.

Minisode #068 ClockTrolla

by iggy



July 6, 2007

Half & Half Pop-Tarts
Rap Snackz
Trolla sent the ClockTrolla to RD
Vince gets a star on the Walk of Fame.
Uh Oh.

#frozen food at Big Lots #not perfect

068 The Food Jobber: July 6, 2007

The Food Jobber
(85 minutes)

The Co-Hosts will not be discussing recent events because they're trying so hard just to be 'funny'. (:02)

Angry Marks' new ad copy sadly does away with Mike Jones testicular violence. (:12)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Go-Tarts with creamy filling. Half and Half Pop-Tarts on the other hand don't have that. Hip-Hop Potato Chips from Lil' Romeo. Blade tries "BBQing with my honey" and does not like it.

Co-Host Contest Week 15 (:27): Things have gotten to the point that no one bothers to respond. Next week will be the 'last' week, with essays graded by Blade.

Mail Bag (:32): Ultimate Kennedy (3) wants astronaut wrestlers. RD wants the radio progrem to be on satellite radio. The grocery is termed 'the food jobber'. (:37) A typo is funny for some reason. (:39) The Fabulous Ones were obviously gay, and RD once again states that he is obviously not.

Obscure Wrestling News: Paul Wight wants to box. (:45) The Crickets have a Myspace page. Brother Midnight is coming on the progrem. RD finally updated his links page. Lita has her own radio show, though it's not yet on satellite radio. (:51) Take Magnificent Mimi out on a lunch date. (:54)

Clocktrolla: The Trolla Corporation has sent to RD a device to count down the days Candace Michelle has left to break Moolah's record title reign. Only 10,159 days left. (:60)

McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Susan "Uh Oh" St. James. (:70) Marella lost his belt. Super Crazy screwjob.

Seventeen Dildo-Free Syllables:
She thinks she's Hennig.
Michelle McCool is abso-
lutely not perfect.

Minisode #067 Triple Kelly's Debut

by iggy



June 22, 2007

Blade's hero is Brother Midnight
Boo Berry's Cousins
Triple Kelly's Debut
WWE refs must now actually referee

#balmy locale #tomfoolery

067 No Old Country Way for Old Men: June 22, 2007

Don with Corn oil for the Iron Sheik
(94 minutes)

Brother Midnight wears no pants, making him Blade's long lost brother.

RD doesn't like Stephanie McMahon. RD is completely incorrect regarding this issue.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Sad News: rumor has it that Kellogg's will purge its cartoon characters. (:17) Blade sings the Yummy Mummy jingle. Also he has some "Big Announcement": He wants to make a bet on when the Colts and Lions play on August 25th.

Co-Host Contest Week 14: (:23) RD is 'stunned' by a woman on the line. She will win this pointless, horrible charade. 12 of 22.

Mail Bag (:35): Seth Drakin (2) thinks the Burger King may be King Pedophile's long lost brother. The Burger King veggie burger sucks. Robert Conrad memories. RD goes into the WC Forum and brings back a question about Wendy Richter from WrestleMania I: Does the Iron Sheik have weird sex habits? (:42) Fabulous Moolah has a very scary action figure.

Obscure Wrestling News (:49): There's a Tribute to RD Reynolds on Youtube. The Crickets have a Myspace page. Lord Alfred offers free balling. His daughter contacted Blade recently. Years ago, the Blue Meanie was involved with WrestleCrap.com. He is now selling Meanie sauce. (:55)

WSX has stripped its only champion of his belt despite not having made an episode for many months. (:58) The Zombie is back in the ring. (:62) TNA's complexity is killing itself. (:66) RD starts talking about Mark Twain for some reason.

WWE has ordered referees to not act like buffoons, which involves fining them. (:70) Candace Michelle has a small nose. ECW got the Boogeyman. (:76) Blade's friend Don (who likes beating off with corn oil) does not believe they kill off actual live worms. (:78) This is an excuse as any to remember American Starship Eagle and Coyote. Rumors abound that the Iron Sheik may be on TV, which is an excuse for RD to play sound clips. (:83) Interminable Raw.

Seventeen Big Syllables:
Big Steph's in the house.
Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
as big as a house.

Minisode #066 Debut of the Draftrolla

by iggy



June 15, 2007

Vince was blown up.
The Draftrolla debuts
Taco Bell Pete
Vampire nipples
Coffin Kitten
Mickie James found riders for her ponies.

#Target 631 #silver dollar city

066 Rest In Pieces, McMahon: June 15, 2007

Rest In Pieces, McMahon (The 2007 WCR Draft)
(79 minutes)

Sad News: Vince McMahon's limo exploded. Even Sadder News: RD does not want a 12 foot penis.

RD's "Trip" to the Grocery (:13): a toothbrush that plays music. Blade's bad Miss Elizabeth impersonation.

WWE sends WCHQ the Draftrolla. (:13)

Draft #1: Rob Conway drafted to Burger King. Imagine the slogan.

Co-Host Contest Week 13: awful. Chris "Krankor" Waters (:22) and Travie "Journey" Yak (:26) deliver Vince McMahon eulogies. 11 of 21.

#2 Tatanka (Buffalo) drafted to the Big Wampum Casino. (:32) Shane and Pat Patterson walk into a bar...

Mail Bag: some question the validity of the news that Vince has died.

#3 Justin Credible drafted to Target. (:37) RD used to write for Fighting Spirit magazine.

Obscure Wrestling News: "Our favorite Big Nippled Vampire" Areola wants be called Coffin Kitten. (:45) The Co-Hosts want to give other bad names to her instead. Candace Michelle bondage pics on the internet. (:49) Blade and RD are at their best when they talk about pornography. Batman's Robin's Burt Ward (and his large penis) will appear at an indy show. (:52) Sycho Sid wants back in WWE.

Horsetrolla: Mickie James' box was flooded. (:54) Francine is taking orders for custom girl-girl matches on DVD. (:62)

#4 Robecca DiPietro drafted to Francine's new video company. (:68)

Seventeen Syllables That Do Not Come with Fire Extinguisher As Illustrated:
Rest in Peace, Vinny.
Sadly, your grapefruits were not
fire-retardant.

Minisode #065 Remembering Miss Elizabeth

by iggy



June 1, 2007

X13D Doritos
Jeff Foxworthy Beef Jerky
Miss Elizabeth's Granny Panties
Blade's Miss Elizabeth impersonation
RVD Concussion Syndrome

#but don't #fish out of water mouth

065 RVD Concussion Syndrome: June 1, 2007

RVD Concussion Syndrome
(84 minutes)

Blade is a member of the Raw fan nation. Blade walked into a slanted ceiling. Those two incidents are (hopefully) not related.

Blade's Trip to the Grocery (:12): Hamburger Doritos X-13D have an 'interesting' Big Mac flavor, particularly when combined with Diet Coke Plus. Jeff Foxworthy beef jerky is best eaten naked. "But don't!" Blade's eating sounds like a horse's.

Co-Host Contest Week 12: geeks, nerds, and poindexters. (:21) Chris Engler has one question about the Big Show while playing the WWE Roleplaying Game. 9 of 19. RD promises to put the too-long Contest out of its misery in July.

Mail Bag: (:32) Raging Demons is worried about Kane and May 19th. RD has caught up with 2003 by getting a Myspace page. Ultimate Kennedy (2) thinks Trish Stratus is today's current "poontang ATM". (:38) Blade responses with his bad Miss Elizabeth impersonation. [The first of many.] Blade saw Gorgeous George stripping.

Obscure Wrestling News (:44): Jimmy Hart, throwback UHF channel movie host. Blade reminisces some KC Chiefs Announcer doing bad horror jokes. Extreme's Play with Me, the WCR intro, will be on Guitar Hero '80s Edition. Goldust no-showed a tribute show for Bad News Brown. (:54) Sad News: Aereola was fired because Vince was once again behind the times. (:57) Scotty 2 Hotty was fired after sixteen years with WWE...which was something they mentioned last week. This show sure is repetitive. Also it's Krankor's birthday. (His birthday wish is for his weapons to be effective against that Prince of Space.)

The WrestleCrap Archive will be available on DVD-Rom soon. (:66) The WrestleCrap Carnival Wrestling Show idea looks remarkably similar to the upcoming Saturday Night Main Event. (:68)

Another WWE draft is scheduled despite the fact that any wrestler can go to any show at any time for no reason. (:70) One Night Stand pudding match. (:72) Blade responds with his bad Bill Cosby impersonation. [The first of many.] RVD concussion syndrome is very entertaining, particularly when it causes symptoms of looking hypnotized while moving your mouth blandly like the singing fish Billy Bass. (:75)

Tribute to My New Favorite Wrestler:
RVD's concussed.
He got kicked in his dome. Man,
I'm feeling woozy.

064 Lance Storm Interview: May 25, 2007

Lance Storm Interview
(78 minutes)

Jim Cornette impressions. Blade disconnects. Invasion. Boring Lance Storm. Dancing with a large penis. 'Nuff said.

Minisode #063 Ghetto Amusement Park

by iggy



May 18, 2007

Blade is a Hobo
Boyle's Joyland
Ghetto Skeletor, He-Man, and Man-At-Arms
RD's Jury Duty

#bill-dodging drunken hobo #bindle

063 Here Craps The Judge: May 18, 2007

Masters of the Ghetto
(77 minutes)

Karate Kid memories. Blade talks about meeting Ghetto He-Man while mocking cripples. (He stands up for them.)

(by RVM Kai)
No Co-Host Contest (thankfully). Instead we have RD's Trip to Jury Duty where RD was chosen to read the verdict in his radio voice. (:18)

Mail Bag (:30): Disco Bonfire wants Randy Orton to kick Mike Jones in the testicles. Sadly for OTG (3) Kevin Thorne will not give birth, not even to a bat baby. Krankor speaks in protest. (:33) RD plays a remake of Beach Patrol. (:38) Fraggle reference.

Obscure Wrestling News (:40): Maestro has opened a wrestling school. Jason Molestation shoots from the ass. (:44) RD is selling his Wrestlefest arcade game. Horsetrolla: A lot of people don't have farms. Mickie James is looking for people to ride her horses. (:51)

Victoria owns her own pizza shop. Santino Marella now hails from New Jersey. (:58) Rumor has it that Ludvig Borga did a 9/11 rap. (:61)

TNA has adopted a mascot... a kangaroo named Stomper. Blade wants to know its gender. (:62) Speaking of disasters... TNA is releasing a DVD entitled TNA: Year One.

Could Gene Snitsky be feuding with John Cena? (:68) Blade says it took fifteen years to replace Giant Gonzales with Khali. Rob Conway, 2Cold Scorpio, and Sabu were fired. (:70) Sabu showed up to a taping without his wrestling gear.

This Week's Wrestling Haiku:
Sabu without pants.
Gimmick infringement. My law-
yers will be in touch.

RD promises his first question for Lance Storm will be about his penis.

Minisode #062 Read Your Food

by iggy



May 11, 2007

Chex Mix for breakfast
Spicy Mustard Kettle Corn
Trivial Pursuit Pop-Tarts
RD's dream
ToyCrap
Blade sings "To All the Divas"

#cola #brain-teaser

062 Smooth Jazz Blade: May 11, 2007

Smooth (Overnight) Jazz Blade
(87 minutes)

A new (temporary) broadcasting set-up gives Blade the better mic, and the respect he is due. RD has booked Lance Storm for May 25.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Chex Mix 100-calorie packs. Incredible Hulk house-building board game. Trivial Pursuit Pop Tarts. Spicy mustard kettlecorn popcorn does not agree with Blade's stomach.
There are no photos of people actually playing this game.

Co-Host Contest Week 11 (:23): Forrest George wants to wear Scott Hall's pubic hair as a wig. 8 of 18.

Wrestling Dream Analysis segment returns. (:33) RD gets a room with Scott Hall. Blade is again useless.

Mail Bag (:37): Jay Gorham, not Alien Ham. A failed attempt to punch Mike Jones in the balls. Joyce De Witt at a comic convention for some reason. Travie Yak wants another book to be written with X-Entertainment's Sean (:44). RD took a lady to see Short Circuit and did not "get any."

(by RVM Kai)
Obscure Wrestling News (:49): Bill Goldberg's direct-to-DVD movie, Half Past Dead 2, will be released in May. Test has swollen tonsils and lost 25 pounds. Kelly Kelly had to drive him to the hospital, yet another in his long line of women. (:55) Carmella married QB Jeff Garcia. (:61) Dawn Marie says she was fired from WWE because she is pregnant. Blade confuses RD by wanting to see pregnant women dance around in the ring. (:64) Gene Snitsky now has giant green teeth. (:67) London and Kendrick held tag belts for a year and Steve Austin doesn't know who they are. (:70) RD wants more old angles repeated, per Jim Cornette's seven-year rule. WWE is making Divas dress less like ho's. (They had been doing it just for fun.) Discussion about The Karate Kid: Blade mentions meeting William Zabka aka "Johnny". (:79)

Blade sings a song to all the Divas he's loved before. (:82)

Minisode #061 RD and Wikipedia

by iggy



May 4, 2007

RD on wikipedia.
RD doesn't eat fruit or "pizza vegetables"

#wiener cleaner #blatant neglect

061 Botany Crap Radio: May 4, 2007

Botany Crap Radio
(77 minutes)

Wikipedia reported that RD was dead in his bathtub, waiting to be discovered by his neighbors. (I didn't even know he was sick.)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:10): RD's infant kicked him in the crotch and laughed repeatedly. RD won't eat his fruit brethren.

Co-Host Contest Week 10 (:20): Erik Majorwitz all the way from Germany gets cut off by DIGILADY!!! But he manages to do his Great Khali. 7 of 17.

Mail Bag (:34): Stuart Neil's wrestling names. Arthur Pinkham. Alien ham. (:37) Don't write, "the WWE," it's just WWE. Italian guy Santino Marella (a Canadian) won the Intercontinental Championship. (:44) RD remembers when wrestlers were billed from Japan.

Obscure Wrestling News (:49): Jason Sensation says he was fondled often by WWF agents. Jason Sensation looks like a younger and much uglier Christopher Walken. Ivory has a dog center. Hulk faced Paul the Great, not Big Show. He should've been Paul Bunyan. (:60) The Condemned tanked. RD and Blade reminisce about Stone Cold's non-wrestling segments after Owen Hart injured him. (:63) John Amos frightens RD. Robert Conrad's shoulder battery. Undertaker is injured.

ECW champion Vince McMahon. (:70)

Twelve Syllables Plus Five Syllables:
Vince is champ again.
Could things get any worse? Yes.
Great Khali, champion.

Outro: Going Back to Khali parody song.

Minisode #060 RD's Milk Broke

by iggy



April 27, 2007

Coke Plus vitamins
RD's milk broke
Randy Baer?
Waylon Mercy
The WrestleCrap Carnival is born.

#proper milk authorities #milk police

060 Don't crap over spilled milk: April 27, 2007

Nuts, Jugs, & Broomsticks
(86 minutes)

RD unjustly accuses Blade Braxton of wanting to milk Linda Hogan's udders.

We waste some time with innuendo of lubing a penis before sticking it in.

RD proposes a WrestleCrap Carnival for the crappers with midget tossing and Mike Jones testicles dunk tanking. (:13)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Coke Plus has been unleashed. RD doesn't want his carbon sugar water to have minerals and vitamins. RD and Blade drink a sickening amount of milk every week. RD had leaky milk at Wal-Mart. This angers Blade for some reason.

Co-Host Contest Week 9: taking it easy. (:24) A debate rages with David Schnatz over Tatanka (Buffalo). Blade makes a saving throw for a contestant. Ramses responses with farting sounds. (:36) 6 of 16.

Mail Bag: boring. (:43) Puff Master Mark is sad that CM Punk does not tag team with the Sandman in the style of The Odd Couple. Eric Majorwitz (3) inquires into Randy Baer's whereabouts. Perhaps he's with the Beverly Hillbillies? (:46) Seth Drakin wants a Dukes of Hazzard tag team. (:47)

Obscure Wrestling News: Nidia gave birth to Lilith Fae Dal Bosco. (:48) Blade is NOT the father. Lita does not look like a man up close. WWE beverages, Raw Attitude and Slammin Citrus, (no Smackdown Punch) will hit Wal-Mart shelves on May 15. (:54) Sean O'Haire is still in jail after a bar fight. David Lee Roth impressions.

RD: "I wanna recap the show so far. We've talked about Brooke Hogan getting it with a broomstick, talked about Linda Hogan's leaky milk jugs, Virgil Vincent Mike Jones getting the Thousand Jap Slap into the genitals, and now we're talking about doing a show where Blade Braxton impersonates RD Reynolds impersonating David Lee Roth doing Yankee Rose Wrestling News. I will say this for the show: I promise you that no other wresting radio show covers that broad a spectrum."

Horsetrolla (:62): Mickie James is considering posing for Playboy. Hulk said he'd smoke massive doobage. (:68) Hulk vs Lawler has become Hulk vs Paul Wight.

Every match on TNA Lockdown was a cage match, with extra stipulations. (:71) One was a blindfold match and the blindfolds kept slipping. Last year there was a match on top of a cage.

Randy Orton was sent home. (:77) Blade is constantly gonged for his bad singing. HHH was riding a horse named Butterscotch. The Condemned premieres this weekend.

Milked-Out Seventeen Syllables:
Nathan Jones, Condemned.
Jones 3:16 -- I just Vi-
tamin D'ed your ass.

Minisode #059 Cease and Desist

by iggy



April 13, 2007

Green Rice Krispie Treats
R2 D2 mailboxes
Global Internet sends a cease-and-desist letter
New sponsor: Angry Marks Dot Com
Disco Inferno's casino/basement

#even worse #best darn webhost

059 In four words or less: April 13, 2007

In four words or less
(85 minutes)

RD posted a new Jobber of the Week (est. 2003), the first one not written by Blade Braxton.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:04): green Rice Krispies treats. Shrek has gone too far. Blade wants to convert some big blue mailboxes into Star Wars characters other than R2D2, but I can't really tell because he rambles a lot.

Global Internet has written a letter chastising RD and Blade for saying their websites give free sexual services. (:10) The new sponsor Angry Mark's ad copy wants you to kick Mick Jones in the balls.

Co-Hosss Contest Week 8: simple questions for Josh Van Meiter (:17), Danny Franchise (:26), and Rudy (:32). "I don't know" gets you gonged. 5 of 14 currently.

Vince Verhei
Mail Bag (:37): John Nelson (AKA Ultimate Kennedy) reminds us of Blade's lust for Linda. RD wants evidence. Theo from Salisbury's question about penises is broken down by logic. (:42) RD reads my gay letter and calls me gay. [Punk's Junk](:47) Blade is allegedly itching for a fight with Bryan Alvarez's Co-Host Vince Verhei. (:50)

Obscure Wrestling News (:53): Larry Zbysko was in a porno decades ago. RD unjustly accuses Blade of having fantasies of Linda Hogan. Some random skank (Roni Jonah) wants breast implants and needs your charity to do so. Horsetrolla: Mickie James 'is wearing different pants'. That's it. (:60) The Four Hosemen DVD was excellent, particularly with Paul Roma in it. (:65) RD dreams of Ric Flair taking out his penis and swinging it around. Kelly Kelly is doing random handstands in the ring because she cannot seem to escape it. Disco Inferno was arrested for having a casino in his basement. (:72)

RD doesn't find chicks dancing on ECW to be hot.

Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
CM Punk turned heel.
He's New Breed. He's honk-shew honk-
shew honk-shew honk-shew.

Minisode #058 Miss Elizabeth the ATM

by iggy



April 7, 2007

Grocery bags
Rachel Ray's unceasing smile
Knuckle count
Miss Elizabeth shoots out dollar bills

#foil helmet #strive for nine

058 "Worst Show Ever": April 6, 2007

"Worst Show Ever"
(79 minutes)

A second sponsor is teased. (:08)

Blade's RD was on speed. RD had to wash his mouth after being Blade.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:10): the world's worst cashier aims for two items per bag. Rachel Ray looks to be sprayed with Smile-X. (She's definitely the poor man's Harley Quinn.)

Co-Hosss Contest Week 7 (:20): Joseph Hassan cheats by talking too softly. Speaking of gone to hell...Tally: 5 of 11.

Mail Bag (:31): Buckbee Suarez is confused by human anatomy. So is Blade. Tortilla painting. (:36) Vince McMahon tried to hide his bald head on Raw, leading to the question of what hat he should wear. (:38) It is answered by a random segue into the old days where Miss Elizabeth had a poontang ATM. (:46) Carriage cam. RD likes The Simpsons. Goonies references. RD threatens Blade with the Outro Soundbite. Only now am I questioning my sanity.

RD discusses the Best of RD DVD and someone's failed attempt to review it, particularly the scene of someone being hit by a car going 5 miles per hour. (:54)

Obscure Wrestling News 60 minutes in: WWE gave the first lady a world championship belt. Elijah Burke is wearing Ariel's clothes. (:63) Spoilers got out before WrestleMania about Hunter looking like a scarecrow and attempts to make the show actually good. Blade did not see any of that of course. Old timers dancing backstage. (:70)

Seventeen Blacklash Syllables :
WrestleMania.
It was All Grown Up. Backlash
tag line: All Thrown Up.

Minisode #057 Bizarro

by iggy



April 1, 2007

RD & Blade play Freaky Friday.
Co-host John Thomas
Lord Alfred sounds different.
Lee Marshall went to the grocery.

#Ghoulies #CHUD

(057) Dream Anal-Raping: April 1, 2007

The Dream Analysis Episode
(34 minutes)

Dreams are happening. It's Bizarro world. John Thomas calls. Lee Marshall's Trip to the Grocery. Lord Alfred, heel. B.M. Punk. Fuck, you know?

John Thomas' Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Blade Deadbeat Brakestown.
He never pays his damn bills.
No man escapes I, John Thomas.

RD and Blade plug their appearance on Thank Tonto It's Friday.

The Very Special Tonto Haiku:
Wrestlemania.
All Grown Up? Give me some und-
-erage WWF.

Minisode #056 Orville Reddenbacher Is Back

by iggy



March 23, 2007

Organic milk in the cereal aisle
Orville Reddenbacher is back, in CGI form.
WCR, W. C. Rad
Cletus O. Godwinn

#super amazing Orville Reddenbacher #anonymous Brooke

056 Robotic Robecca Released: March 23, 2007

Robotic Robecca Released
(79 minutes)

RD met his co-author of The Death of WCW, Bryan Alvarez, for the first time at an indy show. A man in a monkey suit was directing parking lot traffic. He later was involved in a match as The Super Amazing Monkey. Why that guy hasn't been signed to TNA yet I do not know.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:21): RD saw non-refrigerated organic milk in the cereal aisle, which got on his nerves. Back from the dead CGI Orville Redenbacher is creepy.

Co-Host Contest Week 6: Eric doesn't know. (:32) Soul thinks Haku figures are glorified bars of soap. (:38) We learn that Trash has written all their questions up till now. 4 of 11.

Mail Bag (:47): Tony Christ wants the Mighty Seamen. RD flubs a laugh but doesn't edit it out. Jimmy K brings about RD's physics lesson. (:49)

Obscure Wrestling News (:52): The Iron Sheik was robbed of his Wal-Mart earnings by a 'nephew' and a 'drug dealing driver'. Lita and her band are recording an album. (:57) New Godwins. Blade can't spell. (:62) Sad News: Robecca DiPietro was fired. (:63)

This Week's Top Wrestling News Story is that Bobby "Lindsay" Lashley broke the Masterlock. (:66) Kelly Kelly danced with the Deever and "Anonymous Brooke" to Pour Some Sugar on Me. (:69) WrestleMania: Kane vs Khali in a meathook match.

Seventeen Syllables Dedicated to the Battle of the Billionaires:
Billionaire Battle.
I'd pay one billion dollars
to make this shit stop.

Minisode #055 Khali Bunyan

by iggy



March 9, 2007

Enviga
Arm wrestling in the cage
Timbaland, Khali, Paul Bunyan, and Babe the Blue Ox
Blade sings "Tranny Centerfold"

#top dollar #casio

055 Centrannyfold: March 9, 2007

Centrannyfold
(70 minutes)

WSX is still great. So is the $1 million CGI Bling Ladder. RD wants 20 listeners by year's end from their 13.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:12): Inviga green energy tea makes RD think of vaginas.

Co-Host Contest Week 5: Mike Paulin cannot explain the airplane spin below the equator. (:19) Ray Gun does, however. (:23) Current Tally: 3 of 9.

Faxtrolla (:33): Kurrgan plays Uber Immortal in 300. Photos of JT Titty may be featured at Victoria's Secret stores. RD proposes NES Pro Wrestling: The Movie.

Mail Bag (:46): Arthur Williams has a wrestling question. TNA's arm wrestling match in a steel cage needs to be a WrestleCrap induction. Sandman 3G does not know why he listens, but he does think the Great Collie would be great as Paul Bunyon. (:52)

Bad News Brown died. (:55)

WWE wants to set up regional feds around the world. (:57) RD would rather watch a promo by Linda McMahon than by Batista, who is growing more and more robotic thanks to his new girlfriend Robecca. (:61) The ECW New Breed sucks.

Instead of a haiku Blade sings a 'parody' about the Tranny centerfold with bad MIDI music. (:66)

Minisode #054 Blade As Krankor

by iggy



March 2, 2007

RD doesn't like all-natural 7-Up
RD doesn't like organic, all-natural foods.
Little Bastard is now Hornswoggle
Bob Backlund facts

#you are lying #new slogan

054 Cricketmania: March 2, 2007

Cricketmania
(71 minutes)

Blade has figuratively taped up his ribs this week.

Someone has finally registered a site with globalinternet.net. (:04)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:06): all-natural 7 Up. The radio progrem is invaded by crickets. [The WCR Crickets make their first appearance here, 18 months after the show desperately needed them.]

Li'l Bastard was renamed Hornswoggle.

Co-Host Contest segment happens. (:18) Paul Servo has a foot fetish. Week 4 Current Tally: 2 of 7.

Mail Bag (:27): Walter Gonzales does not know the correct spelling for the word 'progrem'. He has however had 'hundreds of hours of entertainment' from listening to the show, which means he must have repeatedly listened to each episode over and over again. Blade can't see his cock. The WWE Museum still hasn't been made yet. Captain Crow (2) works in a Subway and wants to feed RD a sandwich. More Jared bashing. (:35) Blade's "Speaking Of..." sign was cropped out of WWE's New Year's Revolution DVD, but "Mickey Lift The Tail..." was unharmed. (:39) The Question of the Week returns. Showstealer 1829 [Our very own Clarence Mason] wants the Great Collie to be introduced as Champion of the Westminster Dog Show. (:41) Blade wants to see him pee on someone.

Obscure Wrestling News (:44): Bob Backlund walks everywhere. Blade once bit into a clove of raw garlic. (:49) WWE fired Test. TNA would call him Pop Quiz. Donald Trump called Khali, Hindu. (:54) Shelton Benjamin has faltered since losing Momma. (:56) RD's a fan of Deuce and Domino as the Greasers. Molina looks like an ape now. (:59)

RD's new favorite wrestler is WSX's Matt Classic because he was supposedly in a coma for forty years and yet hasn't aged a day. I don't think that the respirator was invented back then. (:62)

Seventeen Syllables of Lustful Haiku Love:
WSX.
Goodness greatness, great balls of
CGI fire.

Minisode #053 Blade As The Penguin

by iggy



February 23, 2007

RD returned to the CompuMart
The Jared Promo
Blade's Trip to the Cardiologist

#trying not to cough #the colonel's

053 Linda Love: February 23, 2007

Linda Love
(67 minutes)

Blade is sick and sounds like The Penguin, as played by Burgess Meredith. He does however promise to be professional. Then he coughs into the microphone.

RD and Misses RD ate Valentine's dinner at White Castle. (:04)

Co-Host Contest Week 3: Thomas DJ does not like Russians. (:11) Niko Blade (:19) misses an important rule: You must answer the question. (Although Blade does admire his balls.) Current Tally: 2 of 6.

RD's Return Trip to the Comp-U-Mart (:22): Salisbury Steak guy is gone. Instead a man smelled like KFC 'extra stenchy'. Blade and RD cut promos against Jared from Subway, nearly five years after South Park's episode entitled, "Jared Has AIDS." (:28)

Blade's Trip to the Cardiologist (:30): Blade was told to store 24 hours' worth of his urine. Blade's Alien Ham story is the most popular WrestleCrap Radio segment.

Obscure Wrestling News (:35): New Jack has opened a wrestling school. Brooke Hogan is moving to LA to become the "next Paris Hilton," says mother Linda Hogan. Blade has a strange attraction to her. (:37)

Horsetrolla: The tail lifts and out comes a coily paper. (:40) Sad News: Mickie James is no longer WWE Women's Champion. Blade loves Robecca, currently Batista's girl.

Wrestling Dream Analysis (:46): Blade might bang Linda Hogan if he was listening to this segment's background music. Lions make the playoffs and a crippled Jackie Gayda gives Blade a shout-out.

Mail Bag (:53): Do people have sex while listening to the show? Lou for Brou wants RD's opinion on great heels. Benjamin Bergman 'totally' listened to the progrem last week. (:57) Ric Flair would die before he could even think of retiring. [Or perhaps become a zombie and still keep wrestling - Future PB]

Mike Awesome died.

Seventeen Syllables All Grown Up WrestleMania Haiki:
WrestleMania.
All Grown Up, huh? Michael Jack-
son would not approve.

Minisode #052 Too Ashamed to Watch "RAW"

by iggy



February 9, 2007

The Indianapolis Colts won the Super Bowl.
100-Calorie Packs
Ratty the Goat asks a question.
Blade was too ashamed to watch RAW.

#melting face #17 thumbs up

052 WSX-Plosion: February 9, 2007

WSX-Plosion
(81 minutes)

What's with Candace Michelle's face? For the second time since October, Blade has power-sawed part of a finger. RD calls him a boxcar hobo. What is on White Castle's special Valentine's menu? (:11)

Co-Host Contest at the One-Stop Trolla Shop Week 2: Chris McGuinness is given a trick question. (:14) Jamie "Elimination Chamber" Retallic is rejected because there's already one half-retarded co-host. (:25) Tally: 1 for 4.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:28): 100-calorie packs. Lorna Doones make the only really good ones. Granola bars taste terrible.

Obscure Wrestling News (:36): Bischoff challenged Salt Lake Cityians to an arm wrestling contest, beating the first guy but receiving a radial fracture from the second. MIT now has a wrestling history course and a chapter of The Death of WCW is on the syllabus. (:43)

Wrestling Dream-Rapistry: Grocery Store (:46): The Musical! Dusty Rhodes has a white spot due to his masturbation skills. [That should be his logo whenever he opens a butchery. His motto should remain the same: "You can beat my prices, but you can't beat my meat!"]

Mail Bag (:53): Ratty the Goat thinks WCR episodes should begin with a warning/disclaimer to not try this at home. RD is still old.

Blade missed a heavily 'roided Cena on Raw because he kept turning it off out of embarrassment as soon as a nurse would enter his hospital room. (:58) RD missed a heavily 'roided Cena on Raw because the Misses TiVoed a Lifetime movie instead. (What, no James Bond movie?)

However, they didn't miss the greatest wrestling show in years, WSX. (:64) The Balls of Steel Texas Tornado. That 70s Inhaler Man. Explosions, explosions, explosions.

ECW is the antithesis of WSX. Clayface, or Snitsky, appeared. (Boba Clayfoot?) "Have you ever seen Cookie Puss?" RD wants you to ask your co-workers. (:75)

Seventeen Syllables of Snitsky Goodness:
What could be better?
Snitsky's got a great new look.
Mania main event.

Minisode #051 Salisbury Steak Man

by iggy



February 2, 2007

Trump rains money
RD went to the CompuMart
What is that old man smell?
Colossal Froot Loops

#decay #decayed Salisbury steak

051 Gonged with the Wind: February 2, 2007

Gonged with the Wind
(62 minutes)

Fruit Loops are being made 'Colossal'.

RD's Trip to the Comp-U-Mart: A man smelled like Salisbury steak. (:07)

Co-Host Contest Week 1: Emmer Provost believes Asian wrestlers are immune to their own toxic mists. (:17) Alex Ewing does not know who Kona Crush is because he's not as old as RD, who could very well pass for his father. This gets RD mad for some reason. (:24) Tally: 1 for 2 'accepted'.

Obscure Wrestling News: Jerry Lawler will draw a Superman comic for DC Comics' website. (:32)

Dream Analysis returns, with music (:35): Blade had a good time in a grocery store. "Just because I like Ax and Smash don't mean I can't fuck." RD asks Blade if he wants to change positions. RD, Mrs RD, and Trash kidnap Stephanie McMahon, but Blade is hopeless at giving an interpretation.

Mail Bag (:42): Yanato thinks Spirit Squad should come back as DEVOtees. Jason Arnolino thinks the Tranny is more beast than man (or woman for that matter.) (:47)

Xtreme Xpose can't dance to save their lives. (:49) On Raw, Vince McMahon conversed with a pre-recording of Donald Trump. WSX rules because it's like a drug trip where everyone gets electrocuted.

Seventeen Non-Fish-Smelly Syllables:
Dubya S X.
I'd rather piss on their fence
than watch other Vince.

Minisode #050 The Chocolate Spoon

by iggy



January 26, 2007

Rachel Ray posed for FHM
"Passions" was canceled.
Book your Valentine's Day dinner at White Castle.
Introducing the Co-Host Contest

#Emerson Avenue #perm juice

050 King Kong Bundy: Komedian!: January 26, 2007

King Kong Bundy: Komedian!
(66 minutes)

A new promotion called WSX is about to make its debut on MTV. Because when you think MTV, you of course think professional wrestling.
Blade: "It makes me want to grab a monkey and sit on the street corner dressed like Al Capone."

In 2003, Rachel Ray posed in the kitchen for FHM. Sad News: RD's favorite show Passions, a soap opera, is being canceled. (:04)

RD's Trip down Emerson Avenue (:10): White Castle is taking reservations for Valentine's Day.

Both the Co-Host Contest music and the WrestleCrap Radio Gong debut. RD predicts that the Contest will be a trainwreck. (:26)

RD announces that Lance Storm will be a guest on WrestleCrap Radio. Blade remembers when they had to cut out a piece of the Co-Hosts being absolutely filthy on April Hunter a week before the Vince Russo interview.

Speaking of trainwrecks, Obscure Wrestling News: King Kong Bundy has started a stand-up comedy career. (:30) Sad News: Dirty Dick Slater was arrested for violating a restraining order to cut off contact from the girlfriend he stabbed in 2003. (:35)

STILL DIRTY
Mail Bag (:40): Mike Polin wanted Lanny Poffo to make an appearance in 90's WWF rather than just collect a paycheck from WCW for doing nothing. Blade thinks Poffo's 'perm juice' would have made for a good in-ring weapon.

Bam Bam Bigelow died. (:48) RD gave Blade a shirt from the first Survivor Series.

Blade tells of his favorite Royal Rumble. The episode is deemed a "trainwreck" and would have been gonged if it were a contestant.

Seventeen Syllables:
The Royal Rumble.
Every man for himself. Sounds
like a circle jerk.

Minisode #049 "Something to Say" for the First Time

by iggy



January 19, 2007

"American Idol" Birthday Ice Cream
Blade uses a joke book from the '60s.

#sack of cornfeed #brenda brakestown

049 I have something to say...: January 19, 2007

I have something to say...
(97 minutes)

The Lions suck, so Blade must recite many listener-submitted insults. Blade fights back with an insult book printed in 1965.

[One particular limerick Blade had to say made me laugh the most (:24):
Hello, my name is Blade,
A really stupid wager I made.
Luckily I didn't ask
To caress the Deal's ass
'Cause God knows, I need to get laid.

-Future PB]

The manuscript of the WrestleCrap Book of Lists has been completed. Pick it up in the Fall.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:10): American Idol ice cream sucks. Birthday cake ice cream tastes like feces.

Obscure Wrestling News: The Warlord signed a Jakks deal. (:25) Ivan Koloff is now licensed to conduct wedding ceremonies but does not provide "cake location." (:34) The Iron Sheik got drunk again. Monte Brown will be called Marcus Cor Von in WWE. (:48)

Blade and RD go through the list of potential WWE Hall of Fame inductees for many, many minutes. (:58) At close to 40 minutes long this is by far the most they've ever spent [or ever will spend] talking about an actual wrestling subject.

Seventeen Syllables from Our Fellow Crappers:
Detroit Lions stink.
Demolition weren't that good.
I like to eat poop.

Minisode #048 All about Khali

by iggy



January 12, 2007

RD sings Queen
Khali's promo
Khali's teeth

#earful #Snoopy

048 Andre the Giant...Drunkard: January 12, 2007

Andre the Giant...Drunkard
(79 minutes)

The majority of work on the new book will be done in three days. The two earlier books did mega business over in Canada for some reason.

RD sings some Freddy Mercury. Speaking of getting your nuts split...RD says, "Whenever I think of the testicles to take care of me, I think of you, Mr Braxton."

RD decides to hold a contest to look for a fill-in co-host, (:18) in the case that either of them might not be able to record an episode, which makes sense...until you remember that most of the time if neither of them makes it then no show is recorded in the first place. [Still, speaking of ideas that were good at the time...]

WCR is up for voting for an award at http://wrestlingradioawards.com/. Give them a vote if you want.

Obscure Wrestling News (:25): War of words with the Warrior on eBay. Assy McGee has sued Mr McMahon's Kiss My Ass.

Blade hits the bottle segment is canceled because Blade's resolution is to not drink alcohol. RD proposes the Drunktrolla.

Modern Drunkard has an article about Andre the Giant, (:34) who drank 7000 calories worth of booze per day. Once he drank 119 twelve-ounce beers in six hours before passing out.

Mail Bag (:43): RD admits that he renamed this segment months ago so that he wouldn't have to hand out prizes. Blade named his penis Blad the Impaler. He also lost his football bet. Matt in Nashville has a suggestion about classic stories. Chris thinks Balls Mahoney should be renamed Enlarged Testicles. (:51)

At New Year's Revolution, Blade held up a sign behind Jim Ross that read, Mickie, Lift the Tail!!!. (:53) Khali can't speak well. (What could you expect from a man with teeth the size of thumbnails?) Umaga is headlining Raw.

Seventeen Syllables of This Week's HOTT HOTT Wrestling Haiku:
Rosie and Donald.
The bitch ate a fudge whale, the
match sucked Moby's Dick.