Minisode #088 Merry Xmas, Johnny Six!

by iggy



December 21, 2007

Chris Engler sings a Trolla version of Jingle Bells
Rowdy Roddy Piper's Xmas PSAs
Unwrapping gifts
Trolla sends Johnny Six to RD

#under the tree #santy claus

088 Audio Snowball Christmas: December 21, 2007

"This...Place...Is...A...Pit"
Audio Snowball Christmas
(85 minutes)

This is an audio snowball fight. RD loves the pre-Xmas shows best. Clips of the WrestleCrap Choir singing Jingle Bells are interspersed in this show, one of them being Chris Engler, now of the Trolla Corporation. (:15)

Blade returned to hitting the bottle. Sad News: the Lions didn't make the playoffs. (:20) [They'll get 'em until next season! --Iggy] He has another "Big Announcement" for next time.

Blade has a heart-warming story about he and Don flipping off a girl during the Xmas season. (:26)

Obscure Wrestling News (:28): a Playboy Diva poll is shockingly led by Chyna and Ashley Massaro. Damien Demento has been shooting on Vince McMahon and people who call him a jobber. (:33) The Deever will be at the Big Boy Toy Show, which is not the title of a PPV.

Piper has Xmas clips about Santy Claus. (:39) Horsetrolla (:41): Bobtail was the horse's name in Jingle Bells. Mickie James went to the WWE events in Iraq. Blade is worried about wrestlers' helicopters being shot down while bad Creed songs are played. I think that since Vietnam was tragedy, the Iraq War is comedy.

The WrestleCrap Choir has the giggles and is drunk. (:45)

Question of the Week (:51): Give RD a prize/bribe to read your question. RD reads from the Dusty Rhodes book to further prove its existence. Travie Yak (2) wants WrestleCrap audio-books. More Piper clips.

Xmas Gift Exchange (:59): Blade received from C. Thomas Howell a rather...transposed gift. Deever's picture is ghostly white and her action figure is black. Perhaps she's the next Soul Man? He also got a Billy Sims Lions jersey. RD received a Brother Midnight T-Shirt (without pants of course) and a Potty Time bear.

Trolla also sent RD the TrollaTron 5200 AKA Johnny 6. (:69) His first words: "This. Place. Is. A. Pit." Blade suggests Johnny be the TNA correspondent. "T. N. A. Sucks," he replies, but he does like porn, so they balance out.

Barking Dogs.

Holiday Haiku That's a Little Bit Naughty and a Little Bit Nice:
WrestleCrap Christmas.
What would make the yuletide gay?
[Michael] Cole in your stocking.

Minisode #087 Food Gimmicks

by iggy



December 14, 2007

RD loves the Xmas food gimmicks
RD bought 10 boxes of Little Debbie Snack Trees

#bladey #booze bar

087 Mira-Hall on 34th Street: December 14, 2007

RD marks out for Jillian Hall
(78 minutes)

Yes, that IS Stephanie McMahon wearing a Matilda shirt.
This show has many teases for next week's episode.

The first instant WrestleCrap induction: Julian Hall's five-song Xmas EP. Blade still loves his Matilda stuffed animal. RD has given up trying to have a clean show. Worst ever impressions. Gay wookie kissing. Speaking of transsexual dinosaurs...

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:19): all the Xmas food gimmicks. RD wisely stocked up on Little Debbie cakes before Thanksgiving.

Obscure Wrestling News (:27): Christy Hemme has posed for Jason Beam as Red Riding Hood. Blade and RD explore the Hogan energy drink brother website, with a special appearance by JT Titty. (:33)

Question of the Week from Zane (:37): More praise about TNA's simplicity and how it has spread to other promotions. SPEAKING OF TNA, they beat WWE in the ratings, well, WWE's ECW anyway, well, on a different night too. (:49)

Blade and RD recap Raw's 15th Anniversary show,  (:52) featuring the return of Bastion Booger, this time wearing clothes. Molly Holly got shafted. Blade loved Steve Blackman's gimmick.

A Kinder, Gentler Haiku:
Jillian's jingle.
I have nothing bad to say.
I would ring her bells.

Minisode #086 RD's Reindeer Play Leapfrog

by iggy



December 7, 2007

Robert Goulet opens the show.
RD's Xmas display was altered.
Blade's odd stories
Feelgood

#xmas crickets #appalled

086 Reindeer Leapfrog: December 7, 2007

RD's Reindeer Play Leapfrog
Reindeer Leapfrog
(79 minutes)

Xmas crickets. Blade is the Bushwacker Luke of WrestleCrap Radio. The WrestleCrap Book of Lists!!! is out in finer and not finer stores.

Someone rearranged RD's skeleton reindeers so that they were playing leap frog. (:19) Blade says, "I thought you were going to say, 'Get on all fours like Linda McMahon and start barking.' "

Blade's Trip to Mexico...Missouri (:24): Jerry Only gave Blade his shirt.

Obscure Wrestling News (:34): Midgets of Insanity and semen-filled explosions. Anonymous Brooke vows/threatens to be on TNA and in Playboy. I think TNA isn't comparable to AAA baseball, it's more like a has-been league. Gail Kim is single. Blade is speechless. They call her a pan-face (isn't the term butterface?). RD thought Fantasy Booking Island would be a surefire hit. He proposes the WrestleCrap Carolers send in clips of themselves singing Jingle Bells. (:43)

Horsetrolla: Trolla products keep the show on track. (:49) Francine to wed. No cake, just a salt lick. JBL called Lillian Garcia a horseface.

Question of the Week from Raging Demons (2) (:55): Resurgence of fake wrestlers? RD remembers a previous Mail Bag segment in which he was constantly shilling. (:62) Black Scorpion 3, David Sheldon, Angel of Death, died.

TNA's four briefcases on four poles match. (:66) One had a pink slip, one had a title shot certificate.

Next week's Anniversary Raw will be three hours long and staffed entirely with WCW players. (:72)

Seventeen Syllables, All You Need to Know:
Fifteen years of Raw.
At this rate, I'd say about
six years too many.

085 Black Friday Kleinrock: November 30, 2007

Listened To This Show
Kevin Kleinrock Interview (on Black Friday)
(106 minutes)

RD has a special ringtone for Blade.

The Book is finally being shipped. So too are the Speaking Of T-Shirts. Get your own!

RD's Trip to the Black Friday (:14): A small child sleeps in a Toys R Us shopping cart. Coffee and donuts are sold. A woman buys a Playstation 2.

Sad News: Quiet Riot's lead singer died. (:32) Speaking of being anally raped by Michael Keaton...

Interview with Kevin Kleinrock, the explosive mastermind behind WSX. (:39 - :70)

Obscure Wrestling News (:70): RD and Blade visit Kaelin KGB. Former TNA interviewer Leticia rode the sybian. Blade's falling asleep fun with sex lines. Don Mason's bill-racking fun with sex lines.

Question of the Week 1 from Kennedy13 (:83): Miz's magic hat could make him a Bond henchman. Question of the Week 2 from Ismael Naji (whose name gets butchered) (:86): Listening to the progrem while at work. Question of the Week 3 from Erik Majorwitz (4) Sad News (:88): Hulkster was given divorce papers. No more Boob Berry.

Kelly Kelly's handspring elbow came up three feet short. (:92) Last week, Kelly Kelly couldn't get the cap off the can of Reddi Whip. Carlito has been added to the Looney Tunes skits. (:97)

Seventeen Syllables for the New First Man and First Lady of Wrestling:
Smackdown's new couple.
I wonder if Vickie got
speared on the first date.

Minisode #084 Blade Causes a Disturbance at "RAW"

by iggy



November 16, 2007

Blade upset a kid at RAW.
Blade acted like a Whack-A-Mole
Mickie James lowered the cans for Blade.
Blade had an Andre shirt, and may have belted it as a mini.

#except #alien ham sign

084 Kung Fu Jesus: November 16, 2007

Pictured: Mickie "Lifting The Tail"
Not Pictured: Blade
Kung Fu Jesus
(90 minutes)

Blade offended a thirteen-year-old. Chris Engler, now suddenly of the Trolla Corporation, sent Blade a ShirtTrolla for his TV appearance.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:22): "Humane" mouse trap. The Dusty Rhodes book has a Myspace page. RD swears.

Faxtrolla: Trolla products stop the awkward silence. (:31) New Jack started a new wrestling promotion, in Cincinnati, and its first event is at the Intense Arena. Random singing ensues. Gorgeous George dances on the pole at Gorgeous Frankenstein gigs. Carmen Electra sued the Naked Women's Wrestling League for the $300,000 they have yet to pay her. That should have been a warning sign right there: being offered that much as a non-wrestling celebrity by a wrestling promotion which is not just not WWE, but instead named "Naked Women's Wrestling League". [Also why is it not inducted or featured yet? - Future PB] (:39) Joanie Laurer changed her legal name to Chyna Doll. (:43) This week's It Came from Youtube is the Ultimate Warrior at a Thanksgiving Parade. (SPEAKING OF odd legal names.) RD has a Mii. (:46) A game based on Dancing with the Stars for the Wii will include Stacy Keibler. She may be obscure, but she looks far better than any Diva on the active roster.

Question of the Week (:53): The Co-Hosts get 'hundreds' of questions, and yet only read those from the same handful of people. This one's from Citizen Raider, who likes Carlito's hair. Sadly it may not be on TV for long, as he may be on his way out. Blade says Sable's Playboy pubic hair was photoshopped. Preemptive Sad News: The Deever may be fired. (:58) The producer of WSX will be on WCR in two weeks.

TNA will hold a Turkey Bowl. (:70) RD has eaten at Restaurant. Belt it as a mini. What If Jesus Knew Kung Fu? (:79) A Black Friday Sale is upcoming for the site. Cena says he was 'misquoted'.

Seventeen Freakin Syllables:
Save us, 6 2 2.
What is Chris gonna do? Mur-
der all creative?

Minisode #083 Cinnabon Popcorn

by iggy



November 9, 2007

RD & Blade discuss popcorn.

#wacky varieties #raisins

083 Retro Raw: November 9, 2007

Due To Writers Strike...Mostly Popcorn Discussion
Medicated Furry Dreams with Betsy Russell
(61 minutes)

WCR is unaffected by the writers' strike because they have no writers.

RD's previous sickness is transferable through the phone. Now Blade's nose is stuffed up.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Cinnabon popcorn. (:11)

Obscure Wrestling News (:21): Yokozuna was booked in India. Blade thinks of heel wrestlers wrestling as the ghosts of deceased wrestlers. Lizzy Valentine is making dog food. RD has an advance DVD copy of WSX. Chyna v the Puppy Mill in Christina's Court (the court case being of course Bitch vs. Bitch). (:30) Hardbody Harrison is on trial for sex trafficking. Blade used to have a roommate prostitute. (:36)

Dream Analysis (:38): Jackie Gayda, instead of Betsy Russell, topless on a horse, while Baron Von Raschke is chased by zombie pigs.

Question of the Week (:44): Seth Drakin asks another question. (4) The WrestleCrap Book of Lists will be released on December 1, 2008. ZZ Top.

Rumor has it that Anonymous Brooke was fired because she wanted to wear furry boots, which Melina objected to because that's her gimmick. (:52)

Seventeen Syllable Haiku Summing-up Raw Is 99:
Two-thousand seven.
Last I checked, that was the year.
Somebody tell Vince.

Minisode #082 The ECW Halloween

by iggy



November 2, 2007

Sound effects
Vampire Nunzio took kids trick-or-treating backstage at ECW.
B. Mahoney lives in a pen and CM Punk lives in a trailer backstage.
Goodbye, Anonymous Brooke

#Shirley #Walter Concrete

082 The Anonymous Brooke Tribute Hour: November 2, 2007

The Anonymous Brooke Tribute Hour
(58 minutes)

With a face like that, how could you
not forget remember her?
Sad News opens the show: Anonymous Brooke was fired due to frequented blamings from RD and Blade. The Co-Hosts compare her to Lord Alfred. (:09)

Blade met Coach at a bar once. (:14) Could Mickie James be the next Tatanka (Buffalo)? RD takes Ricola for the throat.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): WWE stars, and former star Booker T, will be on Family Feud. A wrestler is hosting some show named Trick My Trucker. (:25) Mr Big Wrestling will hold an event in which the ECW Zombie will face the Sandman. Some nonsense or other on Nicole Bass.

Question of the Week from Ani (:33): The sun will come out tomorrow. Wrestling Impressions.

Umaga, the Candyman. (:43) Mickie James with Trevor Murdock makes Blade frustrated. A Diva Battle Royale took place, or at least an aborted attempt of one. Nunzio took kids trick or treating back stage of ECW. Balls lives in a pen. (:51) Walter Concrete. "This show? Terrible."

Seventeen Syllable Prescription:
Anonymous Brooke.
Is it the 1st or 15th?
She's now Welfare Brooke.

Minisode #081 Piper's Halloween Tips

by iggy



October 26, 2007

Horror movie hosts, including Huey the Ghoul and Crematia Mortem
Rowdy Roddy Piper's Halloween PSAs
Candy, You're a Fine Girl

#terrorized #idiots driving cars

081 Halloween comes to Froggertown: October 26, 2007

Halloween Sing-Off with Roddy Piper
(78 minutes)

"Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Halloween tips are interspersed through the show.

People did not like the induction of the The Pirate for some reason. The Co-Hosts make fun of them for some reason.

Blade's "Katie Vick Fan Club" sign was confiscated by WWE security. He also had an army of youngsters. (:18)

Obscure Wrestling News: Lillian Garcia's album sold 3800 units. (:32) Blade goes to a strip stadium. Horsetrolla: Mickie James broke up with Kenny Dykstra. (:41)

Question of the Week from Seth Drakin (3): Khali's treats and tricks. (:46)

Monster Bash. RD will attend a Pinball Expo. RD vs Blade in a Karaoke candy battle. (:52 - :59) Piper tips encore.

DDP and Kimberly's cat is missing. DH Smith debuted in WWE. Candice's broke her collarbone in a match. (:71)

Seventeen Syllables of Halloween Joy:
Happy Halloween.
Don't trick or treat in Piper's
hood or you will die.

Minisode #080 Trick or Treat at RD's

by iggy



October 19, 2007

Oi
Halloween candy aisle
Feelgood

#bow wow wow #courteous

080 Play-D'oh: October 19, 2007

Randy Orton, Soul Man (On the MovieTrolla)
(75 minutes)

Another mention of Don with corn oil. (:09)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:13): Halloween candy. Giving toys to trick or treaters is generally a bad idea.

Oi. Oi. Oi.
Obscure Wrestling News (:24): Elijah Burke no-showed a house show because he went to the wrong Springfield.

Question of the Week from Jason (:29): Shawn Michaels looks old and should be called the Heartbreak Hobo.

The Trolla Corp has sent a replacement for the Clocktrolla, the Movietrolla, (:35) and it's for wrestling movie news. Khali will be in a children's movie. [I didn't realize Get Smart was a children's movie. - PB] [I can't imagine an adult enjoying it. --Iggy] The Big Nippled Vampire is not appearing in porn, sadly, but will be the subject of a "Betty-Page-style fetish thing". (:42) Blade thought Thor was a woman initially. There are talks of Nicholas Cage to star in a movie called The Wrestler. (:47)

The Diva Search has its 'contestants' saving drowning mannequins. (:52) Katie Vick died because Kane couldn't drive a stick. Blade almost hit storage sheds because he was stepping on the clutch instead of the brakes. Glammannequin. David Arquette might go to TNA with Johnny Fairplay. Sad News: Booker T left WWE. (:64) Looney Tunes Raw.

Seventeen Syllable on Something Which Is Like a Golden Shower:
Hornswoggle with bomb.
Coach should've learned from the past.
Remember Cheatum?

Minisode #079 Lanny Poffo Entertains

by iggy



October 12, 2007

Lanny Poffo interview
Tony Atlas doesn't understand CM Punk.

#choked up #pregnant waitress

079 An Evening with Lanny Poffo: October 12, 2007

An Evening with Lanny Poffo
(75 minutes)

Memories from the Legends show. Pink WCW shirt. Lanny Poffo could recite decades-old poems. WCW paid him for years and he never wrestled for them.

A portion of RD and Blade having dinner with Lanny Poffo as he tells them a funny story. (:20 - :26)

The Clocktrolla has stopped. (:33) Sad News: Candice lost to the Glamazon. Even more Sad News: RD wants his money back.

Question of the Week (:39) from Square about virginal wrestlers. RD reads from the Dusty Rhodes book.

Obscure Wrestling News (:46): Aereola will be in a porno, following fellow vampire Gangrel's footsteps. "A retarded couple" stole Blade's Jay Lethal shirt. Booker T is reviving Halloween Havoc. Will Tough Enough return? TNA Impact now has a second hour, much like WCW's Thunder. (:60) RD wants a DVD called The Worst of Thunder so he can live off the Amazon.com referral percentage. At an OVW show, Tony Atlas told CM Punk not to tape his hands. (:66)

Seventeen Syllables of Curse Words:
Orton won the belt.
He was the last man standing.
Shit, R K O No.

Minisode #078 The Great Debate

by iggy



October 5, 2007

Blade's Trip to the Great Porn Debate
Feelgood
Pac-Man
Kelly Kelly gave the teddy bear back to B. Mahoney.
Ric Flair Financial
RD sings Ashley Off Survivor

#bunch of nerds #Ginger

078 The Great Porn Debate: October 5, 2007

The Great Porn Debate
Extreme Teddy...Now With "Balls"
(74 minutes)

Blade's Trip to the Great Porn Debate starring Ron Jeremy, which for some reason requires music. (:11)

Obscure Wrestling News: The Rock was in a Disney movie and now plans to be in a superhero one. (:18) Johnny Fairplay got into an altercation with Bonaduce. The Co-Hosts discuss ideas for an 'awards show' somehow for their progrem. (:26) Jim Bronzell has a tie dye figure that even the face commentators made fun of. Horsetrolla: Sarah Undertaker has filed for divorce while the Undertaker has been seen with Michelle McCool of all people. (:32)

Question of the Week (:35): the intro trumpets are said to be from a Final Fantasy NES game maybe. [They aren't.] Blade would not win Best Host at their awards show. John Nelson (AKA Ultimate Kennedy) (5) wants Peanuts characters in wrestling. Daphne would make a good Lucy from Peanuts. RD sent Blade some cologne.

RD watches another Diva 'episode'. It's so bland he doesn't recognize until too late that it's a week old. (:41) Clocktrolla: 10069 days. (:50)

Playing with B. Mahoney's Balls. (:54) Tommy Dreamer is balding heavily. (:59) Blade wants to see Viscera wear a belt, let alone win one. Ric Flair wants to go into finance. (:66) Val Venus needs a title, according to the Internet Wrestling Community.

RD sings about Ashley Massaro being kicked off Survivor in only the second week.

Minisode #077 Triple Kelly Dozes Off

by iggy



September 28, 2007

Triple Kelly co-co-hosts
Sound effects
Kelly dozes off
Feelgood
Cher-off
A pregnant squirrel chews on Blade's cable.

#jazz #overnight

077 Co-Hosss Cher-Off: September 28, 2007

Co-Hosss Cher-Off
(85 minutes)

SPEAKING OF Gookers...
Co-Host Contest "winner" Kelly is on the line. Smooth Jazz Blade returns once again thanks to some behind the neck microphone for $5.99.

Blade wanted to get a Black Scorpion tattoo. RD will miss his 20th High School Reunion for the Legends show. Marty Jannety called him asking for chicks.

Obscure Wrestling News (:21): Dawn Marie wants to return to WWE. RD can't hear properly. Gangrel is now directing porn, though without Kevin or Ariel. (:29) Sex with Greg Valentine falling down on you. Johnny Fairplay is a better bull-rider than Vanilla Ice. SPEAKING OF Ariel she wants to be the next Elvira. (:39)

Question of the Week (:42): Tom Insley wants Missy Hyatt inflatable dolls. Blade doesn't know who Bob Crane is. More 'fun' with the Diva Search, "The World Series of Bimbos." (:46)

Clocktrolla: 10076 days. (:53)

"Current Wrestling News" is music-less so we instead sing Cher with RD. (:56 - :64)

Smackdown wedding with Tommy Dreamer's hat. Blade didn't watch it so he makes excuses. The love story of Kelly Kelly and Balls Mahoney. Midgets. Wrestlers drugging women. (Midget wrestlers drugging women?)

These Seventeen Syllables:
The contest's over.
I've only got one more syl-
lable to add: (gong).

Minisode #076 Blade's Wal-Mart Clerk

by iggy



September 21, 2007

RD went to Disney World and Epcot
Blade talks wrestling with a Wal-Mart clerk again.
Feelgood
"Sad News" Morton is back in jail.
Feelgood

#horn #swoggle

076 Musical Sad Balls: September 21, 2007

Musical Sad Balls
(89 minutes)

RD and Blade wonder what to do with Vince's new son Hornswaggle.

Blade once put shoe polish in his hair to imitate Hall and Oates.

New temporary sponsor: WCWArulz.com. Come see them at the Dream Reunion Show at Kokomo!

RD's Trip to Disney World II (:15): RD ate at all the world restaurants in Epcot. Blade's Trip to Wal-Mart: A check-out lady is a mark. Blade is highly aroused. (:30)

Obscure Wrestling Sad News (:35): Rickey Morton is in jail once again for failure to pay child support. A rap about Ric Flair by a former Detroit Lion. (:42) Kamala topped his rocking chair song with a song about molestation. (:44) Random music invites for an 'all-ages show' by random idiots on MySpace.

Question of the Week (:55): Asker The Ravishing One gets Rick Rude's theme song. Clocktrolla: 10083 days. (:62) Candice beat the Glamazon.

Abe Lincoln is an avid time-traveller. (:67) Sad Balls. (:70) Raw made Blade hit the bottle because Phoebe Cates got cut. (:69) The Diva Search is so bad now that its contestants all look like girls that are already Divas and it's only available on the Internet. HHH came back and destroyed like Godzilla.

Seventeen Unstoppable, Deadly, and Lethal Syllables:
Unstoppable Trips.
Call him the UnderHunter,
King of Burials.

Minisode #075 Wellness

by iggy



September 5, 2007

RD & Blade watch ECW
Feelgood

#limited #what a show

075 EWC Radio: September 5, 2007

Anonymous Exposé
EWC Radio
(74 minutes)

ECW simulcast. Unlike the last and equally disastrous time RD and Blade tried a simulcast, they at least have the courtesy to warn before hand so you can skip listening this week. It's still terrible though.

The Wellness Policy has removed several wrestlers from WWE rosters. Singing. Jessica Alba drops ice into a man's groin. CM Punk should throw the belt in the trash after he wins it. Art Donovan sound clip. BM Punk calls at the telecast's end.

[Mrs. Deal! Get Forgotten Sin on the line right now, he needs to make an extended commentated video of this! - PB]

Minisode #074 RD's Hardcore Diet

by iggy



August 31, 2007

Feelgood
RD's hardcore diet
Pac-Man

#chafed #full of hatred

074 SummerSnore: August 31, 2007

RD's Hardcore Diet
Nyquil Crap Radio
(78 minutes)

The Colts mercilessly beat the Lions again. Blade: "They scored points!" RD wants to make another bet.

RD and Blade may meet Virgil at their indie show in Indiana (October 22nd) and ask him to participate in their carnival. (:08)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): RD needs to lose three pounds fast.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): Diva Search Woman and Anchorwoman Lauren Jones has some Surreal Faces. Blade responds with a Bill Cosby impersonation.

RD: "Here's the thing. Everybody does a Bill Cosby impersonation. Like, I am convinced every person on the planet does a Bill Cosby impersonation. I'm also convinced that every single one of them is absolutely terrible."

Buy pudding panties (among other random stuff) at WWE Shop Zone. (:26) One Night Stand should be renamed Going Steady. Pac Man Jones wanted Ron Killings to be at the good quality hotel with him, so TNA (AKA the Kurt Angle Variety Hour) took out the difference from Killings' paycheck. (:32) Clocktrolla: 10103 days. (:36) Poor Beth Phoenix is saddled with the ridiculous ring name of Glamazon. The Co-Hosts don't really want her around.

Question of the Week (:45): Blade has shout-outs: Random meanderings and acknowledgments to fellow Crappers. Cheebie Diablo has a question about UHF in regards to whether Vince has seen it yet. Blade verbally ejaculates.

Sad News: the Diva Search hopeful who called Batista "Bistro" has been cut. Sadder News: on her blog she thanked "Hulk Hojan." (:49) Missy Hyatt's book is full of penises. This week, on a special Facts of Life...RD actually warns people to record next week's ECW which they will talk about next time. (:55) Blade wants to run cliffhangers that have no chance in Hades of working. (:57)

SummerSlam was a forty-dollar sleep-aid. (:59) Blade recreated Hell in a Cell with a beer can. 'Hysterics' with Vince's prospective baby-mommas makes Blade think of papier-mache dildos. RD loves Balls. Speaking of men with tits...

Intergalactic Super Heroic Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Silver Surfer Rey.
Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
tic 40-inch waist.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The 10 to my 37, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. BladeLosesAgain.com, BoyTheLionsSuck.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 16. Things me and Trash talked about, things that are funny, getting chaffed, Greg Gagne masturbating, bitches you want to see get their ass kicked, good times, 16 bit, the forum, young Kelly, hoses, Bill Fralic, guests, boring and Hunter, people, men with tits (2)
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 10. Rainbow Brite, UHF, Crispin Glover (4), Urkel, Crispin Glover (3)
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
 
  • Blade Time Outs: 1
  • I have something to say: 2
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
  • You’re Hurtin' Me Randy!: 1
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 3
  • Christy Hemme References: 1
  • Mickie James References: 2
  • Ashley Massaro References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: Cheebie Diabl
    • Here with a humble question: having recently watched the Weird Al opus UHF at the recommendation of another Crapper, young Kelly (not Kelly Kelly), and knowing about Vince being behind the times, how long until we see a talk show segment called Eugene Podalski's Clubhouse? The problem though is I would hate to think about what hose people would be drinking from. Maybe a new club Vince invents. Dong. No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Silver Surfer Rey.
    Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
    tic 40-inch waist. 

Minisode #073 "The Cat in the Hat" Gummies

by iggy



August 17, 2007

Feelgood
Blade's Cat in the Hat gummies
The co-host contest is over, and Triple Kelly is on the line.
Feelgood
Pac-Man

#nine-month shelf-life #Morse Code

073 Pac-Crap: August 17, 2007

Crüe Ball
Crap In A Hat
(69 minutes)

ECW's love pentagram. Miz, the dance squad, and now Balls Mahoney. No Mike Knox love sadly. Alien Hammy. Blade: "That sounds so exciting, I’m, I’m literally I’m I’m salivating at the mouth just thinking about it."

RD's Trip to Pick-Up Madden 08 (:09): Dr Feelgood video game music from Crue Ball. (:11) Madden 08 came with a superpretzels coupon, a piece of candy, and Axe shower gel. Four-year-old Cat In The Hat candy. (:19)

Co-Hosss Contest "Winner": the sole female, Kelly. She has a haiku of her own. (:23)

Vincent's bastard kid.
A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
Gooker ends in tie.

Question of the Week (:31): Ultimate Kennedy (4) wants work rate ratings in wrestling video games. Macho Kong. I Want My Mommy.

Horsetrolla (:37): Francine is selling used soap which "smells good through the wrapper" and is "a bargain at half the price.". Faxtrolla (:43): Crush died. Demoliton will reunite. The Book of Lists is delayed to October. Big Show's wife wants a cooking show. Clocktrolla: 10114 days. (:50)

Pac Man Jones, wrestler who is forbidden from wrestling. (:52) Raw has been imitating game-shows. Blade still can't get enough of Linda Hogan. SNME returns.

The Co-Hosts talk about SummerSlam before they realize their mistake. 

Haiku That Speaks for an Entire Generation:
Return of the Game?
I'd rather play Atari
2600.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Balls to my Mahoney, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. JackTunney.com, Furthermore.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Things you shouldn’t probably partake in, which, CM Punk and John Morrison
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Atari 2600, Wide World of Sports
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Kelly
 
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • Cricket Chirps: 2
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Ultimate Kennedy (4)
    • If a smark were to design a wrestling video game, do you think one of the statistics that they would work into characters would be a work rate listing? Wrestlers could have such things as speed, stamina and work rate. I think there would also be a moveset. I love the idea.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Return of the Game?
    I'd rather play Atari
    Twenty Six Hundred.
  • Kelly's Haiku:
    Vincent's bastard kid.
    A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
    Gooker ends in tie.

Minisode #072 Big Dave Bistro

by iggy



August 10, 2007

Cereal straws
Celebrity callers
Big Dave Bistro

#ivy #privey

072 Celebrity Call-In Craptacular: August 10, 2007

Two Year Birthday Party Call-In
(99 minutes)

Second anniversary of the progrem and Blade has lined up three legitimate guests. Sad News: RD is unable to get a hold of Mr. Rourke and Tattoo. RD's neighbor Steve has heard the show and disliked Blade's reliance on swear words. Blade 'apologizes'. It's nice to see him stereotype himself in such a manner.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kellogg's Cereal Straws. The first trip of this progrem was to the library.

Blade went to a TNA house show in Kansas City and sat near Terry Taylor. He also took a picture of Kurt Angle. "He probably thought I was an alcoholic hobo." (:16)

Clocktrolla: 10124 days. (:20)

A naked Brother Midnight calls. (:26)

Question of the Week from Thorn, though not necessarily a vampire named Kevin. (:42) Chuck Palumbo, one more wrestling biker.

GLOW wrestler Hollywood calls. Moisturizers are discussed. (:46)

Obscure Wrestling News (:62): WWE signed Lacey Von Erich to a developmental contract [which lasts until December]. A Diva Search contestant named Louise Glover thanked Bistro rather than Batista. (:65) Rowdy Roddy Piper will be a GI Joe. After twenty-two years, Cobra has found someone to combat Sgt Slaughter. RD is prophetic for a live action movie. [though sadly he doesn't predict that Destro will be played by the Ninth Doctor. - Future PB]

Ring announcer Fabian Kailen from WSX calls. He's as explosive as the ones on his show. (:69)

WWE Dating Game. (:84) Regal's hair is great. Santino Marella, the spicy meatball. (:87) Supermarket Sweep. Let's Make a Real Deal. (:89) Blade and RD suggest that a midget could play Vince McMahon's seven-year-old son.

This Week's Haiku:
Vince got him some strange.
Thanks to his cheating, now we
get Lance Von McMahon.

WrestleCrap Radio: "Making handfuls of people laugh for two years."
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Happy to my Birthday, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 2. GLOWandGerbils.com, GerbilsandJergens.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 4. Hideous 70s references, fine products from the Trolla Corporation, things comprised of plastic, Let’s Make a Deal
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 5. Ricardo Montalban, Sheena Easton, Hollywood Squares, Supermarket Sweep, Let’s Make a Deal
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Brother Midnight, Hollywood, Fabian Kailen
 
  • F-Bombs: 1. Blade

  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
  • Brother Midnight's Babies: 118
  • Wearing Pants: 0
  • WSXplosions: 4
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: Thorn
    • Mr. Deal and the Richard Grieco to my Johnny Depp, Blade Braxton, my question's regarding one Chuck Palumbo. First, how many damn bikers have there been in WWF/E? I mean for every Underbiker that actually got over there seems to be a dozen Skulls or Eight-Balls. When are they going to learn that we could care less unless you team him up with Tatanka and the Big Bossman, find a construction worker, and have the Disco Inferno teach them some moves? My other question regarding Chucky P is this: what is the over/under on how long it will take him to be repackaged yet again as another one of Vince's pet gimmicks? My money is on muscley guy in a dress. No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Vince got him some strange.
    Thanks to his cheating, now we
    get Lance Von McMahon.
 

Minisode #071 Fantasy Booking Island

by iggy



July 27, 2007

Don Mason destroyed Blade's Plymouth Horizon.
RD thinks Wendy's has gone weird.
Fantasy Booking Island

#pipin #horse

071 Fantasy Booking Island: July 27, 2007

Fantasy Booking Island
(108 minutes)

RD and Blade were on Bryan Alvarez's podcast. Brooke is not "anonymous" but Blade is. Quote he: "Can you imagine if we did a show everyday?"

RD's Trip to Wendy's (:08): Blade's runaway Plymouth Horizon story featuring Don Mason. He is asked to write "The Blade Braxton Story". Wendy's has freaks on their take-out paper bags.

Co-Host Contest Week 18 (:20): Starring Primetime (:25), Tom (:32), Seth (Drakin?) (:41), Ed Salo (:47) and WWE's incorrect and useless trivia book. A recorded message and wrong number sum up the Contest. The auditions are (finally) finished. A "winner" will be announced after the 'tapes' are 'reviewed'. Final Tally: 14 of 24.

Clocktrolla: 10138 days. (:50)

Obscure Wrestling News: Rickey Morton left a show because his tag partner Robert Gibson and his glass eye were making three times as much money. (:53) Blade: "I’d still be cleaning the Jergens off me right now." Tajiri does not want to return to WWE, though no one knows if it has to do with his imprisoned wife. The Zombie managed to beat his opponent last week. Mike Knox is returning to bodyslam the Miz. (:60) Areola is selling her vampire wares. (:63) Blade: "Do you need a good spunk rag or a funk sock?" Jackie Gayda's former boyfriend is looking for an excuse to sell her models by also providing free nude pics. "Good friend of the show" Dan Spivey was arrested for a DUI. Blade considers Dan Spivey a role model. The Horsetrolla has a myspace: (:69) Mickie James will be stage-diving at the Warped Tour. According to Blade, Don Mason's grandfather once stumbled onto a guy fucking a horse.

The Question of the Week segment has returned. (:74) Josh has an idea for a food related tag team. The Dusty Rhodes book is still at WrestleCrap HQ.

Mr Rourke's Fantasy Booking Island, e.g. Fantasy Crap Island. (:79 - :87)

WWE has put Hacksaw and Sandman into a tag team. Hulk will be on QVC hawking the Hogan Grill. (:87) Washed-up famous people choose to sell food-preparation machines because pretty much anything that produces heat can cook food and the instructions are simple: put food in thing, close lid, turn on. It's good masturbation material for Blade though. ("That’s between me and the funk sock.") McMahon is still behind the times, especially when it comes to music. Battle of Kings: Booker vs Jerome Lawler. (:96) RD loved the Hitman vs Doink / Lawler DQ match.

Delayed Haiku:
'Swoggle's a champ. If
SuperPorky doesn't get
a shot, we riot.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Extreme to my Expose, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Figure Four Weekly, Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 3. DigitalPheromones.com, soiledwithsemen.com, funksock.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 8. The exotic types and world tours of love, going around the world getting poontang, the grocery, dramatic, women of WCW, cheap bucks, people about as old as Mr. Rourke, living in the past
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 30. Plymouth Horizon (4), Dodge Omni, Plymouth Horizon (5), Dodge Omni (4), Plymouth Horizon (11), Fantasy Island, Maude, Happy Days, Fantasy Island (2)
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Mr. Roark, Tattoo
 
  • F-Bombs: 3. Blade as his mom, Blade (2)

  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • Weird Al Laughs: 3
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 6
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
 
  • Mickie James References:  6
  • Ashley Massaro References:  3
  • Shelly Martinez References:  3

  • Return: Question of the Week from: Josh
    • Mr. Mrs. Deal, with Johnny Nitro becoming John Morrison, I was thinking if WWE ever decides to reunite M&M, would they now be called MMM? And if so what are the odds they do a cross-promotional ad campaign for Hungry Man Dinners with Homer Simpson? License to print money! Give my best to Uncle Burt. No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    'Swoggle's a champ. If
    SuperPorky doesn't get
    a shot, we riot.
 

070 Late Night with RD Reynolds: July 20, 2007

Late Night with RD Reynolds
(52 minutes)

Late taping this week, so no Co-Hosss Contest (Week 17). Khali, world champion. Michelle McCool is lovin' life. (:06) Blade: "Um, I really prefer having a penis attached to me." Misses RD writes a Women of Wrestling induction and labels the rest of the staff hacks. The Crickets have names now. Apparently Misses RD killed one of them off.

ARGH ARGH.
Clocktrolla: 10145 days. (:14) Faxtrolla (:19): DDP and Jay-Z settled the diamond cutter hand gesture lawsuit. Sci-Fi wants to make a TV series based on They Live and want Roddy Piper involved. This will not work unless they make space to have him fight Keith David for five minutes on each episode. (:22) WSX went out of business because they had to keep rebuilding the arena. Big Daddy V debuted, with suspenders and giant breasts. (:33) Miz, the ladies man who manages to only attract mannequins. (:37) If someone replaced Anonymous Brooke with someone else would anyone notice? Blade: "Three words:  Damn fine cartwheel." John Morrison won the ECW championship. (:44)

Fifteen-Second Haiku:
No time for losers,
Khali is the champion
of the world. ARGH ARGH.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Great to my Khali, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Angry Marks
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 8. Mrs. Deal, fantastic websites, references, giblets, fantastic website, good times, salty, salty sweat in the eye
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Robert Conrad, Bret Michaels
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade

  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
  • WSXplosions: 2

  • Mailbag: N/A

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    No time for losers,
    Khali is the champion
    of the world. ARGH ARGH.
 

Minisode #069 Blade and the Food Jobber

by iggy



July 13, 2007

Vince loves hillbillies.
Blade could've bought a food jobber.
Young Harts
WWE Magazine flatters RD.
The Undertaker Building

#overalls #flipensteins

069 Hogan Knows Breast: July 13, 2007

Hogan Knows Breast
(77 minutes)

WWE has many red necks on its roster.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kaboom bowl blaster should do cross-promotions with Kaboom cereal and the video game Kaboom.

No Co-Host Contest (Week 16) because Blade was too hung-over to reply to the contestants. (:18) If that doesn't summarize the Contest...

Mail Bag: John Thomas has a Myspace page. Spiky900 thinks John and the Repo Man should tag team. (:23) A forum fundraiser for Blade to go out on a lunch date with Mimi has so far raised negative dollars. The Nitro girls have no talent and have some strange names. Neil Parthon listens every week (poor guy). (:32) There are actual Food Jobbers and Meat Jobbers. Someone wanted to sell Blade his old mobile food unit. Chris McGuiness has the show's only good joke today. (:38) Funk Sock. It's spelled FAXTrolla.

Clocktrolla: 10152 days. (:40)

Obscure Wrestling News (:44): RD wants to go all Iron Sheik on Blade and cut promos against him. Teddy Hart, Bret's cousin and formerly of WSX, is heading to WWE to flip all over the ring. (:49) RD and Blade want to go on a dinner date, so RD suggests they go to JR's BBQ restaurant in OK which is close by to former Lion Billy Sim's own one. (:53) WWE Magazine has new features that are similar to WrestleCrap columns. (:57) Shelton should go in search of his momma. The Undertaker has a new $2.7 million building, which is NOT the world's biggest stable. (:63)

Blade: "You know of I were to pass away and like, one of my family members came in there to open that box, can you imagine the sheer horror on their face?"

Blade has sources. (:69)

Seventeen Syllables on Brooke Hogan's Tucans:
Brookester's new boobies.
What, you ask, could be better?
Some bright orange nipples.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Festus to my Jesse, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap Book of Lists, Global Internet, Angry Marks, KaBoom Bowl Blaster
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 5. 5 star entertainment, things that suck, Grandmasters, things that are fantastic, someone bought this
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 8. Activision, Atari, KaBoom!, Kaboom Clown, The Fall Guy, Singer, Sears, Dick Clark
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade

  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
  • Cricket Chirps: 3
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1

  • Mailbag
    • Spiky900: If John Thomas the infamous bill collector from Chase Meridian Mastercharge and the Repo Man formed a tag team and called themselves the Debtonators, what would their finisher be? I'm thinking they would win most of their matches with a Schoolgirl in Heat rollup. This guy answered his own question.
    • Neil Parthon: I listen to Wrestlecrap Radio every week. However, on your show from June 6th you made an error. According to some California state statues a quote "food jobber" is indeed an establishment. I quote: "food establishment means any restaurant, vehicle, itinerant restaurant, mobile food preparation unit, vending machine, bakery, food processing establishment, delicatessen, grocery, confectionery, meat market or plant, meat jobber, food jobber, and any other establishment or place or portion thereof maintained, used, or operated for the sole purpose of commercially storing, packaging, displaying, making, cooking, baking, mixing, processing, bottling, canning, slaughtering, or other preparing or handling food or beverage." Who knew that there were not only food jobbers but also meat jobbers? Wrestlecrap Radio: raising the bar with not only obscure wrestling news and comedic jokes, but now you're raising the awareness and frontiers of our fellow crappers' linguistic capabilities and vocabulary prowess. No sold.
    • Chris McGuiness: After all the discussion last week about the various Trollas at Wrestlecrap HQ it made me think. In fact I've been pondering this question for a long time since I was lucky enough to be a contestant during the second week of the co-host contest. If you received a gadget that gave you news only about Chris Jericho, would it be called the Ayatolla of Rock 'N' Rolla Trolla? He's good.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Brookester's new boobies.
    What, you ask, could be better?
    Some bright orange nipples.
 

Minisode #068 ClockTrolla

by iggy



July 6, 2007

Half & Half Pop-Tarts
Rap Snackz
Trolla sent the ClockTrolla to RD
Vince gets a star on the Walk of Fame.
Uh Oh.

#frozen food at Big Lots #not perfect

068 The Food Jobber: July 6, 2007

The Food Jobber
(85 minutes)

The Co-Hosts will not be discussing recent events because they're trying so hard just to be 'funny'. (:02)

Angry Marks' new ad copy sadly does away with Mike Jones testicular violence. (:12)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Go-Tarts with creamy filling. Half and Half Pop-Tarts on the other hand don't have that. Hip-Hop Potato Chips from Lil' Romeo. Blade tries "BBQing with my honey" and does not like it.

Co-Host Contest Week 15 (:27): Things have gotten to the point that no one bothers to respond. Next week will be the 'last' week, with essays graded by Blade.

Mail Bag (:32): Ultimate Kennedy (3) wants astronaut wrestlers. RD wants the radio progrem to be on satellite radio. The grocery is termed 'the food jobber'. (:37) A typo is funny for some reason. (:39) The Fabulous Ones were obviously gay, and RD once again states that he is obviously not. Blade: "I’m not fucking Steve Keirn and I’m not banging Stan Lane!"

Clocktrolla
Obscure Wrestling News: Paul Wight wants to box. (:45) The Crickets have a Myspace page. Brother Midnight is coming on the progrem. RD finally updated his links page. Lita has her own radio show, though it's not yet on satellite radio. (:51) Take Magnificent Mimi out on a lunch date. (:54)

Clocktrolla: The Trolla Corporation has sent to RD a device to count down the days Candace Michelle has left to break Moolah's record title reign. Only 10,159 days left. (:60)

McMahon is getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Susan "Uh Oh" St. James. (:70) Marella lost his belt. Super Crazy screwjob.

Blade: "I would only hope if something ever happened to me they would send you a BladeTrolla."

Seventeen Dildo-Free Syllables:
She thinks she's Hennig.
Michelle McCool is abso-
lutely not perfect.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Yankee Doodle to my Dandee, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrap Archive DVD, Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap Book of Lists
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 5. Unleashing the floodgates of laughter, shilling, Pop Tarts, well structured letters, seeing boxes
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 7. Europe’s Final Countdown, Bill Hickey, Bee Gees, Barry Gibb, Maurice Gibb, Bryan Adams, J.Geils Band
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade

  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 3
  • Entertain The People: 1
  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • Susan St. James Uh Ohs:  22
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
  • Cricket Chirps: 3
 
  • Lita References: 5
 
  • Mailbag
    • Ultimate Kennedy (3): Dear RD and Blade, are you guys surprised that in all the history of bad ideas in wrestling, there hasn't been any astronaut gimmicks yet in wrestling? The guy could clomp around to the ring in moon boots, carry an astro blaster to blow away the babyfaces? Yes, an EVIL wrestling astronaut. Also RD, being a fan of The Simpsons, do you remember the episode where Mr. Burns needs Lisa's help to get his money back by recycling? Mr. Burns at one point goes to the grocery store which he calls "The Food Jobber". Is this obscure wrestling news due to the jobber reference? You should make it RD's Trip to the Food Jobber. I have to look into that.
    • Anonymous: Hey RDizzle and Blade, what wrestler do you think is overrated and given way too big of a push? My choice would be John Cena. He reminds me of a skinner in a way more talented belt hogging P.N. News. Call me old fashioned even though I'm only 21 but that spinner belt pisses me off! No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Spit and slap the chewing gum walk off.
    She thinks she's Hennig.
    Michelle McCool is abso-
    lutely not perfect.

Minisode #067 Triple Kelly's Debut

by iggy



June 22, 2007

Blade's hero is Brother Midnight
Boo Berry's Cousins
Triple Kelly's Debut
WWE refs must now actually referee

#balmy locale #tomfoolery

067 No Old Country Way for Old Men: June 22, 2007

Don with Corn oil for the Iron Sheik
(94 minutes)

Brother Midnight wears no pants, making him Blade's long lost brother.

RD doesn't like Stephanie McMahon. He is completely incorrect regarding this issue.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Sad News: rumor has it that Kellogg's will purge its cartoon characters. (:17) Blade sings the Yummy Mummy jingle. Also he has some "Big Announcement": He wants to make a bet on when the Colts and Lions play on August 25th.

Co-Host Contest Week 14: (:23) RD is 'stunned' by a woman (Kelly) on the line. She will win this pointless, horrible charade. 12 of 22.

Mail Bag (:35): Seth Drakin (2) thinks the Burger King may be King Pedophile's long lost brother. The Burger King veggie burger sucks. Robert Conrad memories. RD goes into the WC Forum and brings back a question about Wendy Richter from WrestleMania I: Does the Iron Sheik have weird sex habits? (:42) Fabulous Moolah has a very scary action figure.

Obscure Wrestling News (:49): There's a Tribute to RD Reynolds on Youtube. The Crickets have a Myspace page. Lord Alfred offers free balling. His daughter contacted Blade recently. Years ago, the Blue Meanie was involved with WrestleCrap.com. He is now selling Meanie sauce. (:55)

WSX has stripped its only champion of his belt despite not having made an episode for many months. (:58) The Zombie is back in the ring. (:62) TNA's complexity is killing itself. (:66) RD starts talking about Mark Twain for some reason.

WWE has ordered referees to not act like buffoons, which involves fining them. (:70) Candice Michelle has a small nose. ECW got the Boogeyman. (:76) Blade's friend Don (who likes beating off with corn oil) does not believe they kill off actual live worms. (:78) This is an excuse as any to remember American Starship Eagle and Coyote. Rumors abound that the Iron Sheik may be on TV, which is an excuse for RD to play sound clips. (:83) Interminable Raw.

Seventeen Big Syllables:
Big Steph's in the house.
Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
as big as a house.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Brother to my Midnight, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap DVD Rom, Meanie Sauce
  • URLs not taken: 1. ChuckWooleryPullsAChain.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 14. Fascinating, beating off with corn oil, making a porno movie, proud sponsors of WrestleCrap Radio, madness from things you get at the grocery store, fellow crappers, folks, battery and like battery acid, things that won’t fly, reverse licenses to print money, the Rubix cube of wrestling, people obsessed with anuses, things that are no longer funny, evil witches
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 4. Kentucky Fried Movie, Chuck Woolerly, Love Connection, Robert Conrad
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • F-Bombs: 7. Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade

  • Blade Burps: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
  • Zombie Growls: 2
 
  • Shelly Martinez References: 3
 
  • Mailbag
    • Seth Drakin (2): I know you've talked about King Pedophile and the Crackhead Boo Berry. What are your thoughts on the King from Burger King? What would happen if he popped up out of the blue like a stalker and he gave you one of the Burger King's meals? Would you either a) take his gift and don't bother with him stalking you, b) call the police and have the guy arrested, or would you beat and maim the bastard till he goes away once and for all? Inquiring minds want to know! No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Big Steph's in the house.
    Oops, sorry, meant to say she's
    as big as a house.

Minisode #066 Debut of the Draftrolla

by iggy



June 15, 2007

Vince was blown up.
The Draftrolla debuts
Taco Bell Pete
Vampire nipples
Coffin Kitten
Mickie James found riders for her ponies.

#Target 631 #silver dollar city

066 Rest In Pieces, McMahon: June 15, 2007

Rest In Pieces, McMahon (The 2007 WCR Draft)
(79 minutes)

Sad News: Vince McMahon's limo exploded. Even Sadder News: RD does not want a 12 foot penis.

RD's "Trip" to the Grocery (:13): a toothbrush that plays music. Blade's bad Miss Elizabeth impersonation.

WWE sends WCHQ the Draftrolla. (:13)

Draft #1: Rob Conway drafted to Burger King. Imagine the slogan.

Co-Host Contest Week 13: awful. Chris "Krankor" Waters (:22) and Travie "Journey" Yak (:26) deliver McMahon eulogies. 11 of 21.

#2 Tatanka (Buffalo) drafted to the Big Wampum Casino. (:32) Shane and Pat Patterson walk into a bar...

Mail Bag: some question the validity of the news that Vince has died.

#3 Justin Credible drafted to Target. (:37) RD used to write for Fighting Spirit magazine.

Obscure Wrestling News: "Our favorite Big Nippled Vampire" Areola wants be called Coffin Kitten. (:45) The Co-Hosts want to give other bad names to her instead. Candice Michelle bondage pics on the internet. (:49) Blade and RD are at their best when they talk about pornography. Batman's Robin's Burt Ward (and his large penis) will appear at an indy show. (:52) Sid Vicious wants back in WWE.

Horsetrolla: Mickie James' box was flooded. (:54) Francine is taking orders for custom girl on girl matches on DVD. (:62)

#4 Robecca DiPietro drafted to Francine's new video company. (:68)

Seventeen Syllables That Do Not Come with Fire Extinguisher As Illustrated:
Rest in Peace, Vinny.
Sadly, your grapefruits were not
fire-retardant.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap.com DVD-Rom
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 13. Shirt one, shirt (2), Verne Gagne masturbating, Scott Hall’s pubic hair, beating of with corn oil, nipples (3), men that are giant, men who aren’t dead but their careers are, tardy
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 4. Bee Gees, Press Your Luck, Burt Ward, Bobcat Goldwaidt
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Jeep Swenson

  • Krankor Laughs: 4
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  • You’re Hurtin' Me Randy!: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 5
  • Shelly Martinez References: 6
 
  • Mailbag: N/A

  • Draft Picks
    • Rob Conway to Burger King
    • Tatanka to Big Wampum Casino (Sioux Falls, SD)
    • Justin Credible to Target Store #631 (Poughkeepsie, NY)
    • Rebecca DePetro to Francine’s Video Company

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Rest in Peace, Vinny.
    Sadly, your grapefruits were not
    fire-retardant.
 

Minisode #065 Remembering Miss Elizabeth

by iggy



June 1, 2007

X13D Doritos
Jeff Foxworthy Beef Jerky
Miss Elizabeth's Granny Panties
Blade's Miss Elizabeth impersonation
RVD Concussion Syndrome

#but don't #fish out of water mouth

065 RVD Concussion Syndrome: June 1, 2007

Same Feeling As Listening To This Show
RVD Concussion Syndrome
(84 minutes)

Blade is a member of the Raw fan nation. Blade walked into a slanted ceiling. Those two incidents are (hopefully) not related.

Blade: "Not like me slurring in this show is an alien concept."

Blade's Trip to the Grocery (:12): Hamburger Doritos X-13D have an 'interesting' Big Mac flavor, particularly when combined with Diet Coke Plus. Jeff Foxworthy beef jerky is best eaten naked. "But don't!" Blade's eating sounds like a horse's.

Co-Host Contest Week 12: geeks, nerds, and poindexters. (:21) Chris Engler has one question about the Big Show while playing the WWE Roleplaying Game. 9 of 19. RD promises to put the too-long Contest out of its misery in July.

Mail Bag: (:32) Raging Demons is worried about Kane and May 19th. RD has caught up with 2003 by getting a Myspace page. Ultimate Kennedy (2) thinks Trish Stratus is today's current "poontang ATM". (:38) Blade responds with his bad Miss Elizabeth impersonation. [The first of many.] Blade saw Gorgeous George stripping.

Obscure Wrestling News (:44): Jimmy Hart, throwback UHF channel movie host. Blade reminisces about some Kansas City Chiefs Announcer doing bad horror jokes. Extreme's Play with Me, the WCR intro, will be on Guitar Hero '80s Edition. Goldust no-showed a tribute show for Bad News Brown. (:54) Sad News: Aereola was fired because Vince was once again behind the times. (:57) Scotty 2 Hotty was fired after sixteen years with WWE...which was something they mentioned last week. This show sure is repetitive. Also it's Krankor's birthday. (His birthday wish is for his weapons to be effective against that Prince of Space so he will be a horrible example for anyone who opposes him.)

The WrestleCrap Archive will be available on DVD-ROM soon. (:66) The WrestleCrap Carnival Wrestling Show idea looks remarkably similar to the upcoming Saturday Night Main Event. (:68)

Another WWE draft is scheduled despite the fact that any wrestler can go to any show at any time for no reason. (:70) One Night Stand pudding match. (:72) Blade responds with his bad Bill Cosby impression. [The first of many.] RVD concussion syndrome is very entertaining, particularly when it causes symptoms of looking hypnotized while moving your mouth blandly like Billy Bass. (:75)

Tribute to My New Favorite Wrestler:
RVD's concussed.
He got kicked in his dome. Man,
I'm feeling woozy.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The con to my -cussion, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, WrestleCrap Book of Lists
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 5. Hulk Hogan doing a horrible rap, pants, pants or lack thereof, Ludwig Borga, licenses to print money, things I don’t understand
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 18. Naked Gun, Reggie Jackson, Jeff Foxworthy, Little House on the Prairie, Big Wheel (2), Eazy-E, Big Wheel (3), MySpace (7), Dan Quayle, Murphy Brown, Tim Conway, Mother From Good Times
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Krankor

  • F-Bombs: 4. Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade

  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 4
  • Cricket Chirps:
  • You’re Hurtin' Me Randy!: 3
  • GGG Bombs: 3
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 4
  • Shelly Martinez References: 5
 
  • Mailbag
    • Raging Demons: OK I've got a question for you. Since we're in the month of May, are you afraid that if you or Blade say May 19th, that Kane will show up and kick your asses? I've been saying May 19th all month and so far no Kane. No sold.
    • Ultimate Kennedy (2): A few weeks ago on your show you and Blade both talked about Miss Elizabeth's poontang shooting out $100 bills. The question is if Trish Stratus could do this would you then stalk her? No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    RVD's concussed.
    He got kicked in his dome. Man,
    I'm feeling woozy.
 

064 A Storm of Words: May 25, 2007

Lance Storm Interview
(78 minutes)

Jim Cornette impressions. Smooth Jazz Blade disconnects. Invasion. Boring Lance Storm. Dancing with a large penis. 'Nuff said.

(From Wrestlecrap.com)


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Calgary...to my Alberta, Canada, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Steve Austin
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Atari 2600, Outlaw, Arthur Murray
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Lance Storm

  • F-Bombs: 3. Lance Storm