Episode 114: Holy Bat-Creep!: October 30, 2023

The Funny Feline Felonies
December 28, 1967
"The Joker, just released from prison, teams up with Catwoman. They follow the clues of an ancient riddle to retrieve a nightshirt and an antique crib, which together form a map to a hidden cache of gunpowder which they plan to use for their next crime. Batman and Robin, together with Batgirl, follow their trail, little knowing that they are about to walk right into an ambush."
43 minutes

RD: LEARNING THE BAT CREEP. Is that like the Batusi? He had returned from the South where he ate at the first Kentucky Fried Chicken, as shown by his Colonel Sanders cap. Both prefer the original Original Recipe.

Vince could never get malt vinegar with fish. RD has to hide his laughter, as did any other Listener suddenly finding themselves haunted by the Force Ghost of Sir Alec Heineken. 

RD then has to explain the old joke about vinegar douching to Vince.

Good Lord, lad. 

The Jungle Book was the #2 movie of the year, in between The Graduate and a re-released Gone With The Wind. Vince has to find his Baloo tattoo.

Narrator: "Morning at Gotham State Prison. And in the office of Warden Crichton, an old foe is saying his farewell." (:08)
The Joker is leaving in a grey suit after serving his long sentence of several..days months (according to the script). He shakes hands with the Warden and the chairman of the parole board, some millionaire named Bruce Wayne. You haven't heard of him.
Bruce: "I'm convinced that you've mended your former ways. And so in keeping with our liberal penological practices, we're releasing you considerably ahead of time."
Crichton then gives him the huge sum of 1 $10 dollar bill.
Joker: "I used to light my cigars with $10 bills. (pulling out a cigar) Oh, how about a cigar to celebrate the occasion?"
Bruce doesn't smoke "in any form" so Crichton takes the cigar to see if it will explode. It doesn't, but RD still doubts his competency at his job. Again. Vince was too distracted by the bad teeth on display.

Outside Joker meets Catwoman in her KittyCar, and as part of their plan she pretends to capture him at gunpoint.
Joker (loudly): "She's kidnapping me. Honest."
Bruce asks Crichton to try and "catch" the two, using the window to call Alfred to patch him through to the Gordons (since once again Barbara is visiting). In my opinion Bruce should have also called thes scriptwriter, since the last episode ended on Joker and Catwoman already riding around. Reagrdless, Barbara immediately disappears upon hearing the call. Cue titles as the Batmobile drives to the office.

Narrator: "And at the Sleazy Hotel, a sleazy hotel across the street from police headquarters..."
Joker puts on his regular suit as Catwoman observes Gordon's Office through her Catgun. Joker wants to kill the Duo but Catwoman knows how they operate, and she prefers to draw them out. So she just shoots a note through the Office window.

O'Hara: "Mother Machree, we're under attack!"
Batman crawls on his belly doing the Bat-Creep, which RD thinks can only be done with a skateboard with the way he is flowing around on the ground.
Batman (reading): ""This one was just a warning, Batman. The next one will be between your eyelids. Signed, a well-wisher.""
O'Hara: "Well, it seems like somebody's interested in your welfare."
Everyone gives him a well-deserved glare for his idiocy. 

Barbara enters in a lovely green dress: "Somebody lose a contact lens?" RD finds contact lenses were first used as far as the 16th century, though modern softer ones were first used from the 50s. 

Batman: "It must have come from the Hotel Sleazy across the street. Judging from the trajectory and the angle...and figuring the wind at six knots per hour, north by northeast...as per this morning's weather  report...X times six squared, over...Yes. (pointing) You see, it came from that room on that floor."

They go to the room finding Joker's prison suit left behind. (:20) Batman can smell Catwoman's trademark Cat Lily perfume, sensing they were in less than three minutes ago. Batgirl takes the opportunity to appear to assist. The men all say they can handle it on their own, so she does the lawful thing and takes a piece of paper from the crime scene.
Robin: "You think she's trying to double-cross us?"
Batman: "No, but she's a woman, Robin, with a woman's inborn desire to outsmart men."

Catwoman's lair is half cat half clown, and she asks her goons Giggler and Laughter to meet Joker. The Clown Prince managed to steal from the Library a poem "written by Garçon Maltese, the famous crook," who stole 1 million pounds of gunpowder during the French and Indian War to hide it within Gotham. Catwoman wants to use it to blow an entrance inside the federal depository building to loot it.
Joker: "Why don't we just heist a bunch of dynamite?"
Catwoman: "Far too simple, Joker. And not half as much fun as being devilishly clever. After all, we're  not common thieves. Now, our next move is to purloin and if possible permanently purge Batman,  Batgirl and Robin, the Boy Wonder. The missing corner of this parchment was intentionally left in that fleabag of a hotel room."

This Catwoman is definitely one to kill Batman rather than be attracted to him, a sad byproduct of racial conflict during the time. An African-American woman with a White man? On 60s television? That's just science fiction!

 

Literally!

 

Regardless, Vince always loved how well Romero used his eyes for his manic facial expressions. RD adds Victor Bueno as King Tut.  

Meanwhile Barbara quickly checks the Library to find the microfiche of the document before turning into Batgirl to call Batman from the Office.
Batgirl: "Meet me immediately at the apartment of Little Louie Groovy 27 Disc Drive."
Batman: "Little Louie Groovy, the teenage tycoon who's never missed producing a million-seller record?"
Dick (loudly): "Gosh, Bruce, I've always wanted to meet him!"
Despite his loudness, Barbara makes no mention of hearing it.

Narrator: "Shortly, in the big black warehouse groovy pad of Little Louie, the young tycoon of the recording business..." (:26)
Louie has suddenly discovered a group 20 minutes earlier called "Gotham Boulevard Off-Ramp" which may or may not be a reference to Chicago (Transit Authority). "Look, I gotta make my money fast. Another couple of years, I'll be in my mid-20s. Too old for the music business, over the hill."

He tries to go to bed just as the villains break in.
Louie: "Look, if you're here to rob me, I ought to warn you that I'm a karate expert and I can hurt you. So stay back! Hyah!
Catwoman (to goons): "Karate isn't effective unless accompanied by yelling. Let him howl until he  sprains a vocal cord, then get him."
They need only wait a few seconds to get their chance, and then take his nightgown, leaving him completely bare just as the Duo show up. The fight allows Joker's stunt double to once again make his presence while the bed in the middle spins around.
The Duo succeed in smashing up the place, but don't know why their enemies wanted a nightgown. 

Joker (improvising): "Well, it was all Catwoman's fault, fellas. If you recall, it was she who kidnapped  me. She told me that Louie Groovy was a hip cat and that it might be fun if we stole the cat's pajamas. Well, you know how I am about practical jokes. I couldn't resist it."
Batman: "You must have flipped your raspberry, Joker. How could you allow anyone to talk you into  something stupid?"
Joker: "Agreed. You're absolutely and positively right. Oh, I made a dreadful mistake. Oh, let bygones  be bygones. I'd like to shake hands with both of you. Can't we be friends?"

Despite Robin's protests they do, and of course the Duo fall prey to his Joker Buzzer, electrocuting them.  Thus incapacitated, the villains leave before Batgirl appears on the scene to check their pulse. "Three beats a minute, not too good." Fortunately she has her Batgirl antidote pills for such a situation.
Batman: "What took you so long, Batgirl?"
Batgirl: "Rush hour traffic. Plus all the lights were against me. You wouldn't want me to speed, would  you?"
Robin: "Your good driving habits almost cost us our lives."
Batman: "Rules are rules, Robin. ... But you do have a point."

With her copy of the poem Batgirl knows they stole the nightgown for their treasure hunt. Now they need a cradle "in the possession of Karnaby Katz, devil-may-care men's clothing designer from  Londinium."

Of course by the time they get to Katz's mansion he's already been robbed of his antique cradle mere seconds earlier. 
Robin: "Where could they have disappeared to so quickly?"

Narrator: "Closer than you think! Just outside waiting to ambush you! Will Joker and Catwoman make  good their perfidious plan to steal millions? For the answer to these and other cataclysmic questions, watch the next episode!"

Next episode is also Catwoman's final appearance. The Bros can't remember watching it before. 

Santa is still set to challenge all the naughty little girls and boys at the Arcade. 

RD found some really bad Halloween costumes.

 

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [10] (Cesar Romero) [10]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Catwoman [9] (Eartha Kitt) [2]

Episode 113: Holy Off-Screen!: October 23, 2023

The Ogg Couple
December 21, 1967
"Egghead and Olga, Queen of the Cossacks, kick off their return with several thefts from the Gotham City Museum. Egghead begins planning a series of heists - intended to provide him with the dowry needed to marry Olga. Swiping 500 pounds of dehydrated caviar goes off without a hitch. But when Batgirl attempts to outfox Egghead, she is instead captured by the villain. It's up to Batman and Robin to find the villains' hideout before Olga's Cossacks make mincemeat out of their crime fighting friend."
41 minutes

RD: A Clever, Crafty Coward. Vince was disappointed the episode had more Olga than Egghead. RD found it odd. Among the oddities: the show never did a proper Christmas episode.

Narrator: "A typically beautiful day in Gotham City. But the return of a dastardly duo and their deadly  dragoons bodes darkening clouds."

Like the last appearance, Eggy, his poor little donkey, Olga, and Cossacks thunderously march on the street just as a Boy Scout helps a little old lady across it, as they go to the Los Angeles County Art Museum and Historical Society.

[Checks earpiece]

I'm sorry, I'm being told by the Narrator that it's actually the Gotham City Art Museum. 

(Unless this was a name change by Gordon to try and confuse villains.)

Anyway the group breaks in so Olga can steal the Silver Scimitar of Taras Bulbul.
Security Guard: "You'll never get away with this, you scoundrel!"
Egghead: "Shh. This is a museum. Quiet, please."
His lot is the golden egg the scimitar is stuck in - that is, if she can pull it out of its eggshell stone. Eggy has to use his "Egg of Ogg Acid" so she can pull it out and be the rightful Queen of Bessarovia. 

Egghead: "Now let's get out of here fast before the Gotham City cops arrive."
Olga: "Oh, do not worry about cops, darling. My Cossacks are making cops-burgers from them if they  buttinski."
Egghead: "Fine, fine, but let's get out of here anyway."
Price sells the egg's weight by looking like he's getting a hernia.

Gordon gets the call in his Office. (:09)
O'Hara: "Begorra. I thought Egghead was behind bars and the Bessarovians had been sent back to  Bessarovia."
Gordon: "Bessarovia didn't want the Bessarovians. And Egghead's out on a legal technicality. There's only one person who can help us. But I can hardly bring myself to call him again. Give me a moment to summon my strength and courage. For if ever strength and courage were needed in Gotham City, Chief O'Hara...it's needed now."

In Stately Wayne Manor Bruce and Dick are actually reading in their Library. 
Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, that Genghis Khan was quite a guy. In the 13th century, he and his Mongol armies  almost conquered Europe."
Bruce: "Yes, Dick, the Mongols are fierce warriors. Even today you can find pockets of them scattered  throughout Asia."
Alfred gets the ringing Batphone despite it being within easy reach of Bruce. "To The Batpoles!"

Gordon: "[Egghead]'s a very stupid man, compounding all his felonies." (Emphasis mine, considering how smart Eggy's shown to be. Especially compared to the police at any rate.)
Batman: "Women like Olga have been the downfall of far wiser men than Egghead, Commissioner. No,  the invasion was just the beginning of the new nefarious plan of pilfer and plunder involving, no doubt,  more egg targets of some kind."
Gordon: "We'll make a list of every egg target left in Gotham City, Batman."

In the big black warehouse lair, Olga rubs Eggy's head rather vigorously while the Cossacks do their dancing thing.
Egghead: "The Scimitar of Taras Bulbul, the golden Egg of Ogg, are only the beginning of a series of  dastardly plans that will leave Gotham City begging for mercy."
Olga: "Mercy! Ha! My Cossacks are not giving mercy."
Egghead: "No, of course not. You lovely, evil woman, not a drop of mercy!"
Olga: "You are heartless, hairless man. I'm liking you more and more."
As part of getting more loot for his marriage dowry, Eggy plans to steal 500 pounds of dehydrated caviar, "a gift from the czar of Samarkand to the people of Gotham City. And it's worth $200 an ounce."

Meanwhile Barbara (in a nice yellow outfit) is now at the Office asking her father to have lunch with her. (:15)
Gordon: " I only wish I could, darling, but Gotham City is in too much danger."
Barbara: "Danger? ... I only wish there was something I could do to help."
Gordon: "There is something you can do. You can help...by going straight home and staying out of  trouble."
She does go home, where she talks to Charlie as she takes him into her room to change into Batgirl. RD found that odd for some reason. 

In the Batcave the Duo have finished warning every egg related business in the city. Batman's Bat-logic suddenly reminds him that Samarkand neighbors Bessaravia and thus they may go after the caviar. 

This is despite Bessaravia being in Moldova...a good 2900 km away from Uzbekistan. 

Hilariously, this is shorter than the distance from New Jersey (home of Gotham City) to Los Angeles (home of the Los Angeles County Art Museum and Historical Society) which is 3900 km.

Robin: "What's Gotham City gonna do with 500 pounds of dehydrated caviar?"
Batman: "No one could decide. So it's being stored in a specially-cooled vault at the Gotham National Bank."

This realization is so momentous that it needs a commercial break.  

Sure enough the Cossacks strike at the Bank.
Olga: "Do not draw revolver, little shmyerdski, or I am having Ossip bash you to beatniks."
The shmyerdski, er, branch manager laughs at them thinking they're going after the money which was transferred elsewhere, until Olga tells him otherwise. "Old Cossack saying: Do not make "ha" before eggs are safe. Snatch the caviar and make fast goodbye."

The group exits just as Eggy rides in late on his donkey. Then all of a sudden the branch manager remembers he has a security guard with a gun and orders him to shoot Egghead.
Just then Batgirl appears, so he pleads for her help.
Batgirl: "Not so brave when your henchmen aren't around, are you?"
Egghead: "Oh, I never claimed to be brave, Batgirl. No, I'm clever and crafty, but I'm a complete  coward. You won't let him shoot me?"
Batgirl: "That depends. Where are the Cossacks you've been running around with?"
Egghead: "They speak Bessarovian and I don't speak the language."
Batgirl: "Perhaps there are some other languages you do know, Egghead. The language spoken by that guard's gun!"
Egghead: "Do you expect me, a respected arch-criminal to fink on my friends like a common stool pigeon?"
Batgirl: "Of course."
Egghead: "(Beat) ...All right, I'll do it."
He gets on the Batcycle behind her, which really speaks for itself. 

Finally the Duo appear, and the branch manager catches them up to speed.
Batman: "Batgirl is a match for any gang of ordinary hoodlums, but for a wild band of Bessarovian  Cossacks even her extraordinary abilities might not be enough."

The Batcycle arrives at the lair first, showing Price having the time of his life, though wouldn't anyone?
Batgirl: "No tricks."
Egghead (appalled): "Tricks? Oh, Batgirl, how could you suspect me of trying to trick you?"
So of course the Cossacks try to surprise her, so she immediately...moves the other way.
Batgirl: "The ambush is on the other foot now, Egghead."
Egghead (appalled): "You tricked me."

Batgirl also does some barrel rolls in between her smiles and her kicks, so Olga has to trip her with some caviar. They then tie her up.
Olga: "And now, my little pipkin, you will do for us saber dance with frosted swords."
Cue some intense tap dancing to Russianized Batgirl theme. RD desperately wants a clip of it from the mythical vault.

Thankfully, Batman could track the Batcycle's "radioactive spark plug" with his Bat-Geiger Counter. Yes, this one time, and not all the other times he could have followed her back to her apartment with it. That sounds shaky at best.
RD: "Where do they buy all this radioactive fuel? Is it Neutrons'R'Us? What is this place?"
Sneaking inside the Duo save Barbara's tap dancing by...turning off the record player. 

Olga: "Very sad we meet at funeral."
Egghead: "Your funeral, Batman."

Batgirl doesn't do much this fight as the stunt doubles do their thing. Egghead takes the opportunity to grab her and drop her into the tub of caviar. The Duo have to save her, allowing the villains to flee.

Batgirl: "They almost turned me into a human hors d'oeuvre."
Batman: "What a chilling way to die."
Robin: "Holy cold creeps. Leave it to crooks like them to think of a trick like this."
Batman: "Yes, that's to be expected, Robin. The concept of decency is alien to the criminal mind."
Batgirl: "And thanks to me, they've escaped."
Batman: "Perhaps crime-fighting is better left to the men, Batgirl."
Batgirl: "Perhaps not."
Batman: "But this isn't exactly women's work."
Batgirl: "But I'm no ordinary woman, Batman."
Batman: (Looking her lustily up and down) "Agreed."

 

Now originally this whole endeavor of Egghead and Olga was supposed to be a three-parter, tying in to their other endeavors of stealing the Samovar of Genghis Khan and, er, trying to hatch a dinosaur. So the episode would normally end around here with the Trio recouping as the actual ending would be the third episode of the villains fleeing Batman in a dinosaur outfit.

Instead we cut to Gordon's Office, where he informs the Duo they've suddenly arrested the whole group.

Off-screen.

 

And not even by the Dynamic Trio.

O'Hara: "It's lucky you had me surround that building once more, Batman. Olga and Egghead ran right into the paddy wagon again."

RD: "I did not think that was the worst episode ever, but that was by far the worst ending ever."

Gordon: "I'm sure they won't find caviar on the menu at Gotham State Prison."
Batman: "Probably not, but they will get a well-balanced diet thanks to Warden Crichton's emphasis on  proper nutrition."
Barbara again walks in, this time in a nice lime green dress, having seen a green-gold car with "what looked like whiskers on its front fenders".
Gordon: "Sounds like Catwoman's Kitty Car to me, Batman."
This is the first we've ever heard of Catwoman having her own vehicle.
Catwoman: "And if I'm not mistaken, that arch-criminal the Joker was a passenger."
RD: "Seriously? The ending of the show keeps getting worse."
Robin: "Holy here we go again, Batman."
Batman: "I'm afraid you're right, old chum. If Catwoman and Joker have joined forces, it sounds like  there's trouble right here in Gotham City."
Narrator: "And how right he is! Trouble in a green fright wig! Trouble in a car with whiskers! More trouble than the Caped Crusaders have ever known! Coming up on our next episode!"

The Bros agree that with the split of the original three-parter, this standalone episode makes no sense. Or even any ending. It's especially a bad final episode for Egghead (and Olga). 

Only 11 more episodes remain for the show, including three new one-off villains.

Santa is returning to the Arcade to challenge all the naughty children.

Halloween sure has some weird costumes.

• Special Guest Villain: Egghead [3] (Vincent Price) [3]
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Olga, Queen of the Cossacks [2] (Anne Baxter) [3]

 

• Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Off-screen arrest by the Undynamic Duo.
  

Episode 112: Holy Eyes!: October 16, 2023

Catwoman's Dressed to Kill
December 14, 1967
"The Catwoman targets the fashion industry by first terrorizing a banquet honoring Batgirl and then attacking a fashion show. During the attack on the fashion show, Catwoman captures Batgirl and takes her back to her hideout where she threatens to kill her with a pattern cutter. She then tells Batman that if he attempts to rescue her that it will leave the visiting Queen Bess of Bellgravia vulnerable for attack. Now the Caped Crusader must find a way to save Batgirl and prevent any harm to Queen Bess."
45 minutes

RD: Needs No Snoods. Vince: "Is that like a nap?"

Narrator: "Noon in Gotham City. While millions of workers hurry to their midday meal at a posh private luncheon, the city's ten best-dressed women are being named by the town's top couturier, Rudi Gernreich."
Gernreich was an actual well known avant garde fashion designer, especially during this decade. Unfortunately that does not protect him from Gordon and O'Hara (and Mayor Linseed) also being in attendance, since they are to accept a "Batty" on behalf of Batgirl "for the best-dressed crime-fightress in Gotham City". Why she couldn't accept it directly is never explained.

Neither is it explained how Catwoman managed to sneak in. Neither neither is how she is now played by an African-American actress.
"Ridiculous. Nonsense. Foolish prattle. How can Batgirl be the best anything when Catwoman is around? No best-dressed list is complete without the addition of the queen of criminals, the Princess of Plunder, yours untruly."

The Bros appreciate Eartha Kitt really getting into the villainy of the character, including her tone and inflection of voice. Yet she still has to compare herself with Julie Newmar. She doesn't get her own love theme!

Catwoman: "You ladies with your fancy hairdos, what do you know about beauty? After you suffer the effects of my hair-raising bomb. you will never be able to raise your heads in public again. Then we'll see who's the fairest of them all!"
One of the women: "No! Not our hair! Anything but that!"
She throws a hair bomb which does just that, and gives an evil laugh.
O'Hara: "To the red Batphone!"

Narrator: "In a fashionable midtown men's shop, Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson scan the new styles."
Dick is getting a tuxedo for his first prom despite not knowing how to tie a bow.
Bruce: "I wouldn't be too concerned about that. Alfred and I will give you the benefit of our vast years of experience."
Bruce's pen beeps, alerting them of Gordon trying to reach the Duo.
Bruce: "We'll change into our spare Batoutfits in the limousine and leg it to police headquarters."
Dick: "Leg it? How about a taxi?"
Bruce: "Arriving at Commissioner Gordon's office in a taxi might be deemed a trifle ostentatious."
Dick: "But that's three miles from here!"
Bruce: "A sound mind in a sound body."

Cue Batrun in front of a greenscreen, assuming it's not the exact same from the Movie.

Of course Barbara is already there at the Office awaiting the Duo just because. "Ruined their hair forever? Catwoman really knows a woman's weak spot."
RD: "Couldn't they go get a haircut or something?"
She suggests using Batgirl to bait her out, much to Batman's protest. "I wouldn't dream of endangering that fair lady's head. No, you'd better leave the crime-fighting to the men."

Narrator: "And in an abandoned loft in the big black warehouse heart of Gotham City's garment center, Catwoman is  fashioning her criminal conspiracy while her admiring henchmen, Angora and Manx, look on." (:15)
As Catwoman plots to catnap Batgirl and ultimately steal a piece of clothing called The Golden Fleece, the Bros continue to admire Kitt's way of saying things. The Fleece, "a million dollars' worth of 24-karat gold cloth", will be brought into town by its current owner Queen Bess of Belgravia, which she will purloin - and then sell back.
"Manx...take a telegram."

The telegram of Catwoman foretelling her appearance is for Gordon, who reads it over the phone to Batman.
Batman: "Let us handle it, Commissioner. And if you should hear from Batgirl, don't, repeat, don't tell her about this turn of events here."
Gordon: "Right. I won't tell Batgirl a thing."
Barbara (overhearing yet again): "Won't tell Batgirl what, Daddy?"
Gordon: "I guess I can tell you. After all, you're not Batgirl."

Narrator: "Having learned of Catwoman's plan from Commissioner Gordon, Barbara Gordon dons her guise as Batgirl, best-dressed crime-fightress in America. While Batgirl hurries to her fateful appointment, Batman approaches from another direction. In the showroom of Fashionation Magazine, Rudi Gernreich again regales the assemblage with his droll comments." (:18)

Rudi predicts (although he will be a few years off) that women will eventually be wearing minis, including shoes. This is enough for Catwoman to appear, still aiming to be best-dressed.

Batman: "There are no fashion shows where you're going."
Robin: "And how could a feline feloness like you also be a fashion model?"
Batman: "Credit where credit is due, Robin. She may be evil, but she is attractive. You'll know more about that in a couple of years. Now, are you coming quietly, Catwoman, or must we use force?"
Catwoman: "Your silver-tongued oratorio has convinced me, Batman. I hereby remit myself to your muscular custody."
Batman: "Don't try to pull the wool over our eye slits."
He might as well though, as the goons sneak up from behind and just...ensnare the Duo in a net. 

Batgirl then shows up to pull off the net.
Batman: "How did you find out about this? I specifically asked Commissioner Gordon not to involve  you. We can fight our own battles."

Catwoman has gone into the dressing rooms. "If the Dynamic Drips react the way I expect them to  react, they will not step into this most hallowed and forbidden no-man's land. But Batgirl will."
Robin: "What are we going to do? We can't step into that hallowed and forbidden no-man's land without closing our eyes. And if we close our eyes, we can't see anything."
Batman: "A sound observation, Robin."
Batgirl: "You can't go in there, but I can. And with my eyes wide-open."
She does, straight into some knockout gas.

The Duo wait a minute before deciding to go in. While covering their eyes. As Batman's theme plays in a minor key. 

Vince always disliked entering the ladies' locker room, sometimes even with his eyes closed.

Eyes covered, Batman walks into a mannequin. "Careful, Robin. I think it's a lady. Take my cape."
Finally one of the models tells him they are fully dressed, so they can stop with this 'comedic' act.
Robin: "Do you think she'll kill Batgirl?"
Batman: "Or worse, Robin. ... Or worse."
The situation and line delivery is so serious, one of the models corpses in the background.

In the lair Batgirl is tied up as RD notes how old Catwoman's goons are for some reason. "Did she go to a retirement community?" Kitt distracts by rolling her R's in such a manner.
Catwoman: "No hero worth his salt would let a lady expire. It's foolproof, I tell you. Perfectly  foolproof."
Batgirl: "And you, Catwoman, are an even bigger fool than I thought you were. We who enforce the  law would gladly lay down our lives for it."
Catwoman: "Angora, gag her. Crime-fightresses should be seen and not heard."
They prepare her to be cut into ribbons. For fashion! Catwoman puts a white flower on her body for some reason.

Meanwhile the Duo try to figure out the plot in the non-Londinium Batcave.
Robin: "It would appear she's on an apparel binge of some kind. Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods! Right, Batman?"
Batman: "Wrong. There isn't much call for Etruscan snoods these days, Robin."
Unfortunately Batman can't think straight with his deep in thought pose.
Alfred: "It would appear that your mind is not really on the subject you're pursuing."
Batman: "Very observant, Alfred. My mind's on Batgirl. Wherever she is, whatever dire danger she  faces..."

Anyway they have to meet Queen Bess at "exactly" 3 pm at her embassy "to discuss the rise in Belgravian misdemeanors". Because that's what they do now. Batman then remembers she has a Golden Fleece with her that Catwoman might target.
Batman: "Belgravia would be up a creek without a fleece. They might even declare war on our country. No doubt Queen Bess would mortgage herself to the hilt to get it back. (To the camera) Nobody wants war."
Robin: "Gee, Batman, Belgravia's such a small country. We'd beat them in a few hours."
Batman: "Yes, and then we'd have to support them for years."

At the Office Batman tells Gordon of the potential hit at the embassy just as Catwoman calls (the normal phone) to gloat. "Speak of the angel. You'd better get to 32 Pussyfoot Road, Batman, where a steel pattern cutter is just going to work on Batgirl."
Robin: "Holy dilemma! If we go to rescue Batgirl, Catwoman escapes with the Golden Fleece. And if  we go after Catwoman, Batgirl dies."
Of course Batman does not suggest having the Undynamic Duo go to save her, leaving their level of incompetence at the task unsaid. Gordon doesn't even offer to go get her. So Batman has to order the two to meet Bess.
Once gone, he calls Alfred on the Batphone to tell him to go to Batgirl. But he needs to be disguised, "something as alien as possible to your normal self."

As Catwoman appears at the embassy and gasses the staff ("Sorry queenie, but I'm antisocial,") Alfred appears in the lair...in a hippie janitor outfit and even hippier accent.
Batgirl: "You look very familiar to me."
Alfred: "Me? Oh, no. No, I'm the oldest living hippie in this country. You may have heard about my  being the first Boy Scout dropout at the turn of a century."
She gives him a confused look as she leaves.

Of course the Undynamic Duo have no idea at first that Catwoman has taken the Queen's place. She takes a feel of her dress as she threatens them before the Trio appear to fight. Craig actually fights with Paul as they do the arduous task of rolling a cart. Someone gets thrown through some flimsy painted paper of a wall. Catwoman hisses at Batgirl as everyone is taken away.

Back in the Office, everyone has received "the Royal Order of the Belgravian Garter" for whatever that whole situation was. O'Hara keeps talking until Bonnie calls to shut him up to alert them to the TV, which just shows Egghead and Olga. Sadly he is not riding a donkey here.

Narrator: "Egghead, Olga and her Bessarovian Cossacks are back with another assortment of devilish  plots. All happening here in our next episode!"

RD liked the story far more than Vince, who missed the villain dynamic, especially with this different Catwoman. RD thought she did fine with what she had.  

Vince bought a lot of 1-UPs from the recent Amazon Prime Day. 

RD: "I just inducted yet another ridiculous women's match."
Vince had to suffer through the latest Raw, which had 16 women not doing much.

• Special Guest Villain: Catwoman [8] (Eartha Kitt)

• Window Celebrity: 1. Rudi Gernreich
  

Episode 111: Holy Londinium!: October 9, 2023

The Londinium Larcenies
November 23, 1967
"Commissioner Gordon travels across the channel to Londinium by request of the President to assist in a spree of baffling burglaries. Also aboard ship are Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, their manservant Alfred and Gordon's daughter Barbara. Alfred sets up a make-shift Batcave under a rented mansion near Londinium while Batman & Robin visit Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup, who run a girl's finishing school that teaches their students a degree in shoplifting."
The Foggiest Notion
November 30, 1967
"Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup plan to steal a ship-worth of mod clothing material with which they can control the fashion world of Londinium. Ffogg and his men subdue Batman, Peasoup and her girls grab Robin and Lady Prudence uses the paralyzing fog on Batgirl."
The Bloody Tower
December 7, 1967
"Batman, ably assisted as always by Alfred, saves Robin from being crushed by a winch at the Tower of Londinium. He also rescues Batgirl from the dungeon at Ffogg Place. But Robin gets stung by an African Death Bee as Lord Ffogg and Lady Peasoup get ready to steal the crown jewels at the Bloody Tower."
55 minutes

RD: Better Villain than Lord Ffogg. Vince gives themselves some applause for having to watch a really bad trilogy. Thus the Bros will quickly go over all three in less than an hour.

Vince's internet meandering lead him to writer Keith R.A. DeCandido's introspective as part of his own look at the series. He gave the whole misadventure a 1/10, especially for the bad plot, the sets being more Los Angeles than London, and Rudy Vallee doing British by the way of Dick van Dyke. RD: "I feel like people need to be arrested over this."

Narrator: "The great metropolis of Londinium, mighty capital of the Old World, is enjoying another of its famous crystal-clear days. But in the queen's private museum in Chuckingham Palace, something's rather foggy about Lord Marmaduke Ffogg of Ffoggshire, and his sister, Lady Penelope Peasoup. But what are these twisted twigs of Londinium aristocracy up to? Purloining Her Majesty's priceless snuffboxes? And then covering their tracks with Marmaduke's own man-made fog?" (:05)

In order words, Ffogg covers his criminal activity by...smoking.

This is enough of a concern for the Prime Minister and Scotland Yard First Minister and Ireland Yard to beg the President. Of the United States. Another country. Who then begs Gordon to beg Batman.

Barbara has of course overheard the call, and she initially declines going with her father before he tells her that Batman is also coming with.
RD: "What happened to her surfer boyfriend?"
Gordon calls Stately Wayne Manor, just to set up a bit where Dick is playing drums while wearing a wig so Bruce can shout at him to "cool it, Ringo," and Alfred accidentally calls him "Master Robin".

As this is a matter of the utmost urgency on the behest of the President, the Gordons take a plane boat. Coincidentally so do Bruce and "Young" Dick and Alfred and Harriet and a giant crate.
Bruce: "I don't think that Dick should neglect his studies, so we brought along a thousand key works of literature, his biological specimens, and also his own desk."
O'Hara gives Gordon a parting gift "begorra" and Bruce takes the opportunity to flirt with Barbara. 

Meanwhile in the black warehouse "Easterland House", Ffogg walks around in an Inverness cape as he and Peasoup steal stuff while smoking. 

Of course Millionaire Bruce Wayne already has a mansion overseas to use as cover for a Batcave, assuming that's what the Narrator calls "the dungeon of a rented country manor house". (:14)
Bruce: "It will do the job, Alfred. And you did a great job unpacking Dick Grayson's books, biological specimens and desk. And not even a scratch on the Batmobile."
Alfred: "If I may, sir, remember to drive on the left, not the right."

Cue gratuitous stock footage of Londinium "which is suffering from a spell of unusually clear weather" including a soccer stadium that was last seen some weeks ago.

At Ireland Yard the Duo and the Gordons meet Superintendent Watson in what is clearly Gordon's Office (except his red phone is more old fashioned).
Batman: "These surroundings have a familiar feel."
Watson: "Yes, Batman, decor in a police department varies little the world over."

Through some trademark Batlogie linking the smoke fog to aftergrass, Batman decides to investigate Ffogg Place. Peasoup also has a girl's finishing school nearby, which of course teaches how to crime. And Ffogg's servants are also conveniently his goons.

We are halfway through the episode. As far as I can tell the second half consists of the following:

• The Batmobile pulls up as Bookworm's Theme plays once more. Somehow Watson and Barbara could fit in the back. (He's babysitting her while Papa Gordon is away at a meeting.)
• Batman expresses interest in Ffogg's nicely mowed lawn. 
• Somehow Barbara knew Alfred's number, and calls for his help.
• The women of the finishing school are all over Robin. "Holy contributing to the delinquency of minors!"
• Ffogg has a beehive of African death bees because in his spare time he's reading too much Fleming.
• Barbara manages to sneak out and somehow finds Alfred in a taxi cab ("borrowed from my second cousin Cuthbert") to take her to her rented flat.
• Yes, Barbara managed to find time to rent a flat.
• The villains think Barbara will join their school for scoundrels. 
  
• The departing Duo are stopped by "some rather unholy highwaymen" i.e. the goons.
• Of course Barbara manages to change into Batgirl and somehow finds the scene to help drive off the goons.
  
• Yes, she does vanish immediately afterwards.
• Robin: "What do you suppose she's doing in Londinium? And where do you suppose she went?"
  Batman: "I can't answer the first question, Robin, and I've never been able to answer the second."
• The Duo decide to return to the Londinium Batcave to investigate further.
• Then the Batmobile gets fogged up.
  
• Narrator: "Has Basil, Lord Ffogg's friendly butler, succeeded in befogging the Dynamic Duo? Is Batman up against a sticky wicket? Our next episode will give you much more than a foggy notion."

 

...

 

Narrator: "Another crystal-clear day in Londinium." (:21)

And suddenly the Duo are in Watson's Gordon's Office telling Watson that Ffogg is their villain. Batman worries what Barbara is getting into joining their school. Of course we don't see how the Duo managed to escape a cliffhanger of...a "Delayed Action Knock-Out Fog Capsule" by using...a "General Emergency Batextinguisher".  I guess that speaks for itself.

Coincidentally Barbara enters with a package for Batman, with thick smoke wafting from it.
Batman (nonchalantly): "Yes, it seems about to explode. You better all stand back."
Inside are three bells, which Batman links to The Three Bells pub.
Watson: "On the river in the dock area. Many's the pint of wallop I have there. Or had, I should say, before the hippies took over."
The dock is the same one seen in the Movie., one of its docked ships carrying clothes that could be a potential target for Ffogg.
Robin: "Holy rising hemlines! Are we being dared to stop a robbery of miniskirts, Batman?"

The Batmobile gets to the pub during a scene where the villains gloat over their plan.
Robin: "Let's go!"
Batman: "Not you, Robin. They have strict licensing laws in this country. A boy of your age is not allowed in a tavern."
Robin: "But if it's been taken over by the hippies and mod set - "
Batman: "You're far from mod, Robin. And many hippies are older than you are. Why don't you wait by  the Batmobile? I have a hunch that you'll be of good use there."

Ffogg and his goons have already arrived at the pub waiting for the Dark Knight to enter. Oh, also Ffogg said he had gout and had his foot in a cast. This lasted all of ten minutes, so he's completely "healed" enough to involve himself in the expected fight. Batman beats one of the goons with a bar tap before he gets overwhelmed.

During all this the fledging criminal girls arrive to rob the boat. Since Robin's one weakness is not fighting women, he instead cuts the boat's mooring line. So the girls grab Robin instead, and he protests as they all start feeling him up. The boat drifts away, which of course means someone turning on the motor and driving it halfway into the water. 

With the Duo captured, it's up to Barbara as she is driven by Alfred back to Ffogg Place.
Alfred: "How did you get away?"
Barbara: "It wasn't easy. I'll explain later."
(It's never explained later.)
Somehow Alfred has her Batgirl outfit for her perusal. She thinks Lady Prudence, the governess of the school, has her own agenda, and asks Alfred to inform Gordon and Batman. 

She waits for him to leave before she does her transformation sequence in the glamorous locale of behind a bush. She goes to Ffogg's cricket pavillion, where he conveniently has all his thefts displayed and labelled. Prudence, who sees this, uses her being distracted to knock her out with paralyzing gas for such a contingency.

Back at the pub, Batman is still tied up as Ffogg rambles on wondering what's taking the boat robbery so long. 

Then all of a sudden he pulls out a doohickey that can remove memories.

 

...I don't know.

Batman: "I know nothing about your remarkable device, Lord Ffogg. But your grisly game is almost  up. Proof of your villainy is inscribed indelibly on my mind!"
Ffogg: "Which will shortly be erased."
He uses it, and rather than then take the opportunity to take off the cowl to see who he's facing, he...just lets Batman stagger out of the bar like a certain deceased Co-Hosss.
Vince: "Blade was a hobo?"

With Barbara's help and the Batmobile Bat-Tracking Device, Alfred knows where he is, and takes him back to the Londinium Batcave. "Fortunately, I packed the Recollection Cycle Bat Restorer for this little overseas trip."
One zap is apparently enough.

In Gordon's Office now O'Hara is there to receive Gordon's report on the meeting for Mayor Linseed. He most definitely flew, making him the smartest by far of the heroic contingent.

 

That sure says a lot.

Vince: "He knows where the bodies are buried."

Of course now O'Hara has to take a flight back home. I'm sure it won't be fully taxpayer-funded in the slightest.
O'Hara: "There's nothing like an Irish carrier pigeon."
Cue everyone laughing. Batman then calls to inform of the (somehow vanished) boat, along with Robin.

Speaking of, Batgirl wakes in the dungeon below the Place alongside Robin. Ffogg has a better idea for the young man.

In the Londinium Batcave, the Batcomputer acts up, so Batman has to slap the machinery a few times. The printed word "winch" leads him to Tower Bridge's winch room, so off he goes to save his ward stuck in a bridge mechanism. 

Surely this is a good place for a cliffhanger no?

What do you mean, no?

Batman: "Quickly, Alfred, the Anti-Mechanical Batray in the Bat-Glove Compartment! To save his life, we'll have to zero the Bat-ray in on the mechanical apparatus, and render them useless."

He unties him in time for another (boring) fight. Not even the stunt doubles can help despite their efforts. Ffogg escapes once more in smoke.

Narrator: "What's this? Batman and Robin fogbound in the winch room of Tower Bridge? And Batgirl  still paralyzed by paralyzing fog in the dungeon of Ffogg Place? By Jove, it's disturbing. By Jove, it's  exciting. By Jove, it's mystifying. By Jove, watch the next episode. By Jove."

 

...

 

Narrator: "Nothing has changed with the weather in the great metropolis of Londinium. It's still clear as glass." (:34)

Robin and Alfred inform Batman of the cricket pavillion and Batgirl's capture.
Batman: "You two seem to know a lot more about Batgirl than I do."
He asks Robin to drive the Batmobile while Alfred follows in the cab. "And don't forget to drive on the left, not the right."

Batgirl is still tied up down there as they drive back to the Place.  The villains state loudly their goal to steal the Crown Jewels before they throw some "lethal fog pellets" at her.

At the Place Robin sees Barbara's suitcase next to Batgirl's suitcase, but doesn't put two and two together, let alone try to rummage through them for a panty raid. Thus distracted, he trips the African death bee beehive trap wire, causing a "bee" to appear on his head.

Batman also sees the suitcases and is equally tempted, but he stops himself. He sends Alfred to inform the police as he goes to check on Robin.

Meanwhile Batgirl shows no sign of reacting to "lethal fog pellets". Ffogg aims to get more because they worked so well already.
Ffogg: "Digby, Scudder, and Basil can handle Batman."
Peasoup: "Well, they didn't before."
Ffogg: "Since that little incident, I've given them a severe talking to."

RD: "Officially, on the record, Lord Ffogg is the worst villain ever on this show."

Batman enters the dungeon, and since West had horrible peripheral vision wearing the cowl of course they didn't edit out his accidently bumping his head. Ffogg tries throwing more pellets anyway.

Meanwhile back at Gordon's Office, now Aunt Harriet is there, looking for Bruce and Dick. She was on a a pleasure cruise having some fun far away from this mess of a story. And thus is her last appearance on the series.

Back in the dungeon, Batman uses his Anti-Lethal-Fog Batspray against the smoke and a Bat-file on Batgirl's chains. The two give each other such the alluring look. Even her.

As for Robin, he's in the girl's dormitory resting after having taken his last African death bee antidote pill.
The women still continue to gawk at him. "Man, I'm ape about you, Robin," says one of them. "Oh, you're duping my mind. I'm launched."
Robin: "Were you ape and launched when you waylaid me on that dock, shanghaied me and brought me back here when you knew I was being tied to a winch in Tower Bridge?"
Woman: "Merely scholastic exercises, Boy Wonder."
Robin: "Holy homework. I'm getting out of here."

As Gordon finally calls the Place to ask about his daugther, and the villains decide to make a break for the Tower of Londinium, Batman and Batgirl have a large oak door barring their escape from the dungeon. And Batman left his Batarang in the Batmobile because it's just that kind of day.

Luckily there is some of her own Batrope for he to do "the old Indian rope trick". She stands under some grating, he says some Hindi words, and the rope stiffens.
Batman: "There's more to old Indian fakir tricks than one might suspect."
Batgirl: "And concentration magnified by the power of yoga?"
Batman: "Yes, yes, that's enough talking, Batgirl."
They meet Robin up top so he does the trick again.

So they make it to the Tower just as the villains do. The Duo even disguise themselves as Beefeaters just because. They also fight with axes. Batgirl handles the criminal girls. Ffogg goes for the smoke, which Batman stops with 

...

his Pipe of Fog Bat-reverser.

...

By which he means he reversed the film.

...

I give up.

Watson: "Well, this is a jolly little beanfest. Take His Lordship, Her Ladyship and these girlships to the tombs."
Prudence: "I thought if I could play all sides against each other, I would come out on top and be Her  Ladyship of Ffogg Place alone. But it didn't work."
Robin: "No, Lady Prudence, it didn't. ... But cheerio!"
Batgirl vanishes, so the Duo look at the prop Crown Jewels.
Robin: "Pip-pip, chin-chin and toodle-oo."

Finally we go to actual Gordon's Office, having taken the boat back. He takes the call from the President first before giving it to the Dark Knight.
Batman: "A weekend in Texas, sir?...With a barbecue, sir?...And bring the Batmobile, sir?...That's a greathonor, sir, but, uh, I wonder, could Robin and I take a rain check, sir...sometime around Easter?...Oh, of course, sir. I'm sorry, I completely forgot. Yes, that's convention time. But thank you for calling, sir. (To Gordon) I'm sure he has plenty of problems right now without trying to entertain average citizens such as Robin and I."

Bonnie then calls: a "very feline character" stole some of the police uniforms. The Duo run out to check, as Catwoman, now played by Eartha Kitt, escapes by...getting into an elevator.
Narrator: "How catastrophic are the days and nights to come as you will see in the next episode!"

Lady Prudnce was supposed to be "young" despite being played by 26 year old Lyn Peters (Vince gueses 30). While she had a few roles in the mid-60s (and was a model), she had far greater success creating and running Custom Catering (until her passing in 2013). RD gives her 6 Batpoles. Vince gives 5, "mediocre at best."

As for our supposed "star" villain...to quote Craig:

"Rudy Vallee was one of the worst people I ever worked with, which was disappointing. I had looked forward to working with him. He'd been in the business for a hundred years, and he came on the set; he was an absolute churl, he was the meanest, just awful. It was a three parter and we couldn't get rid of him. His cohort, Glynis Johns, on the other hand? She was a delight."

Everyone agrees: he truly was the worst.

For a palette cleanser, how about Batista absolutely demolishing a guy?

• Special Guest Villain: Lord Marmaduke Ffogg (Rudy Vallee) 
• Extra Special Guest Villainess: Lady Penelope Peasoup (Glynis Johns)

• SPEAKING OFs: 1. Creepy
• Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Concentration magnified by the power of yoga.
  

Episode 110: Holy Feet!: October 2, 2023

Surf's Up! Joker's Under!
November 16, 1967
"The Joker plans to become the king of surfing, hoping the fame will give him control over the hearts and minds of Gotham City. He captures top surfer Skip Parker, then uses his "Surfing Experience & Ability Transferometer" to transfer the needed skills and stamina from Skip to himself. When all the other contestants drop out of the upcoming surfing match, Batman steps up to challenge the Joker's supremacy."
50 minutes

Vince had to watch AEW Dynamite for the first time in three years, much to the chagrin of RD: ANTIQUE BEACHCOMBER and his surfing Batman and Joker shirt. It was a toss-up to Vince.

Vince also wonders why a surfing episode would air in the middle of November.

Narrator: "Surf's up at Gotham Point, and all the local surfers are shaping up for the forthcoming world surfing championships. Here's Skip Parker, local surfing idol and the hottest wave jockey around riding  out the soup to join his current beach bunny, Barbara Gordon."

Barbara's swimsuit is very pleasing to the Bros, especially in publicity shots.  

RD still owns YvonneCraigBikiniParty.com. He had told Vince of his purchase the last time he was on the old radio progrem.

Barbara and Skip flirt with each other.
Narrator: "But a fast surf isn't the only thing at Gotham Point that's hairy this morning! Not with this jesting jackstraw, the Joker, on the scene!"
A beach version of Joker's theme plays as he uses his hot-dog transmitter to coordinate his goons (Rip Tide and Wipe Out) kidnapping another surfer named Hot Dog Harrington. He then flirts with his own lady Undine, RD was mesmerized by her look. Vince noted she had a very flat stomach.

Joker sends Undine to get Skip by...walking up to him to tell him he has a phone call. Skip takes one look at her and decides to follow her, much to Barbara's surprise.
For this betrayal Joker gasses him.
Joker: "We'll run him into the Ten Toes Surfboard Shop and get all his surfing secrets out of him. Then after I've gotten rid of Batman and Robin for good, I will rule the waves. Me, the Joker, king of the surf and all the surfers. Then Gotham City. Later, the world!"

Barbara calls Gordon, who calls the Duo. (:15)
Bruce: "Alfred, alert the Batcopter port. To the Batcave."
Dick: "COWABUNGA!"

Cue obvious stock footage of the Batcopter with two people who look nothing like the Duo or their regular stunt doubles. Robin looks way too muscular, even more so than Batman.
Narrator: "And so the forces of law and order converge on Gotham Point by air."
Robin (badly dubbed): "If we land on the beach, Batman, we might hurt someone."
Batman (badly dubbed): "And cause undue attention, old chum. We'll set down in Pelican Cove, just north of Gotham Point and walk down the beach just like ordinary people."
RD: "Also because we have no footage of the Batcopter landing in any sand."

The Undynamic Duo are already there in beach shorts, cheap sunglasses, and floppy hats, as Duke and Buzzy.
Gordon: "Well, most true surfers are known as Duke, Skip, Rabbit, or Buzzy."
They see a woman with green hair dancing to a performing band singing a song about a woman with brown hair. Then a trash can nearby them starts shaking.
O'Hara: "Buzzy, I think this trash can's trying to tell us something."
Gordon: "Nonsense, Duke. It's an echo of the surf."

RD: "This is all I ask. Could the US government let us know at the beginning of each year just send out a pamphlet: here are the terms we're no longer allowed to use? That way I, as an old white man, can make sure I'm not offending anyone."

Gordon and O'Hara Buzzy and Duke go to the Hang Five, Hot Dog Harrington's hangout, followed by the Duo. The staff immediately calls them "gremmies".
Robin: "No compliment. Beach bums. We should have worn our baggies."

Barbara had gone to change into Batgirl the Library, but told them to watch the woman behind the counter, who is Undine.
Batman: "You mean the one talking to her hot dog?"
Undine (on her hot-dog communicator): "They are sitting with a couple of antique beachcombers who  were asking some questions about Hot Dog Harrigan."

Joker tells her to leave them be for now, as he shows captive Skip his "Surfing Experience and Ability Transferometer: all your surfing know-how will be drained out of you and transferred to me. And don't forget to switch on the Vigor Reverser, so that all his youthful energy will be pumped into my blood and bones!"
RD: "This is quite the episode."

As if that weren't odd enough, the Duo go back to the Batcave just so that Alfred can show them pictures of feet.
Alfred: "I thought these new illustrated Batslides might prove a bit of a novelty, sir."
Robin: "Holy ten toes."
Batman: "A cryptic comment, Robin. The Ten Toes Surfboard Shop has been closed for some time. The most appropriate hideout for Joker and a hostage. These Batslides are more than a novelty, Alfred. I've learned more in the past minute from these two naked feet than we learned at Gotham Point in one hour. Although we left Buzzy and Duke out there to follow up."
Alfred: "Buzzy and Duke, sir?"

By then Joker has absorbed all of Skip's...surfing power.
"The Surfing Championship of Gotham Point in the palm of my pig board! Oh, the prizes, the honor! The envy, respect and adulation of all the local surfers! Where I go, they will follow! What I want, they will provide! And what I want is Gotham City to plunder and to pillage! And that is what they will provide!"
He orders his goons to put Skip in a dresser drawer. Undine warns him that the two antique beachcombers are "fuzz". Also the Duo have returned to the area, this time in Batmobile.
Joker: "Oh, exquisite. Their tricks for tracking me down have always been clever. But this time I will outsmart them. They will no doubt come through that window. You have the poisonous sea urchin spines, boys?"

Batman: "Ready?"
Robin: "Never ready." 

So the two break in straight into a spray of spines. 
Robin: "Holy pin cushions!"
Batman: "Obviously spines from a sea animal of the echinoderm family, Robin. Quite painful. Potentially lethal. But the poison can be counteracted if we immediately soak our bodies in hot water  and Epsom salts."
Joker: "Oh! Too bad, Batman. But we've just ran out of hot water and Epsom salts"
Batman: "Then I think we've almost run out of time."

Joker ties the two to boards to process them to become...surfboards.
Robin: "Holy human surfboards!"
This definitely deserves a cliffhanger, and by cliffhanger I of course mean commercials. 

Somehow the goons oversee the Duo enclosed into two rather thick surfboards with a coat of catalyzed resin, while their boss goes to the surfing competition. They know they've done their job when the boards suddenly explode, revealing the unscathed Duo.
Batman: "Catalyzed resin is a highly combustible mixture. All I had to do is activate this portable ultraviolet Bat-Ray from my Utility Belt to set off the explosion that released us from our foam blank  coffins."
Also the explosion dissolved the spines. And somehow their poison which is probably still within the Duo's bodies. Because that's how things work here.

Anyway the Duo find some sandy footprints that lead them to the drawer where Skip is. He leaves to go find Barbara (and apologize to her for ditching her for another woman). 
Batman: "Robin, hop a cab or take the subway to Stately Wayne Manor. Take Dick Grayson's car and head for the beach. Batman, in his showdown with Joker, will need the help of Bruce Wayne's youthful ward. Plus his surfboard."

Narrator: "And so the showdown approaches as Batman and Dick Grayson rendezvous at Gotham  Point." (:32)
Dick "arrives" and leaves his surfboard outside the Hang Five, red with a white stripe. Inside Joker is regaling the people on his surfing tales. Batman challenges him for the surfing title.
Joker: "It's too late, Batman. The entries are closed."
Dick: "Correction, sir."
Joker: "Correction? You dare correct me? You immature mollusk!"
Dick: "I'm Millionaire Bruce Wayne's youthful ward, Dick Grayson. Mr. Wayne's president of the Gotham Point Surfing Association and in this case I can speak for him. I'm entering Batman in the surfing championships."
Batman: "Shall we go into the men's locker room and put on our baggies? Excuse me, citizens."

So Batman and Joker put swim trunks over their regular outfits. 

The two will also be judged on their sportsmanship. Joker: "Sportsmanship?" The two get their boards, and of course Batman has Dick's red with a white stripe a yellow surfboard with the Batlogo. Barbara finally appears in her swimsuit to watch.

And so Batman and Joker surf in front of a green-screen.

While West would write that he thought this was the lowest point of the series, to RD it's his favorite. He always watches it whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

And of course Batman still has and uses the Shark Repellant Bat-Spray.

Despite all this, the production still had two other doubles actually surfing. This is never expounded upon. 

Joker rushes out of the (relatively calm for surfing) waters first proclaiming victory, and of course the two are completely dry.
Dick: "I've tallied all the judges' points. You got one. For being the more colorful surfer. (That was not part of the judged criteria of course.) Batman got all the rest including 50 for avoiding a dangerous hazard, a shark."

Buzzy and Duke finally remember there's a moving trash can, which they should probably check. Inside is Hot Dog Harrigan. Joker uses this to bail. Batman asks Dick to find Robin "the Boy Wonder" (forgetting he's now the Teen Thunderbolt). 

Dick finds the locker room - at the same time as Barbara. They both change separately. Then they come out of their adjacent changing stalls. Somehow this confuses the two.
Batman, Buzzy, Duke, and the villains all arrive so we can have our fight. Robin does a leapfrog. Joker still has an awful looking stunt double. Batgirl continues to kick and smile, and vanishes immediately afterwards. 

Batman: "He's all yours, gentlemen."
Joker: "Gentlemen? These two hodads?"
Gordon: "Commissioner Gordon and Chief O'Hara to you, Joker."
O'Hara: "Cowabunga. (Beat) Begorra."

Barbara reappears (perhaps to recover her swimsuit), having passed by Batgirl earlier. "Are you all right, Skip?"
Skip: "I will be as soon as they hook me and the Joker up to that Reverserometer and reverse it."
Robin: "Cowabunga."
Batman: "Begorra."

Back the Office they note Skip's returned to normal and Joker is behind bars for now. 
Batman: "I think these two crime-fighters better call it a day."
Robin: "Let's call it a week, Batman. And really get some sleep."
Batman: "Agreed, old chum."

Narrator: "But just how much rest do the Dynamic Duo have coming? For what startling new crime wave has already begun across the sea from Gotham City? Who are these two new conspirators? Batman and Robin haven't the foggiest notion, but they'll travel 3000 miles to tangle with these treacherous twigs of aristocracy and wind up on the maddest manhunt of all time in that great metropolis of the old world: Londinium. Don't become fogbound! Watch the next episode! Cheerio!"

This would be the season's only three-parter, which is so bad RD sets to review them all at once next recording. It is such a stark contrast from this story, which he considers one of his favorites. And it only needed a half-hour!  They noted everyone was having a fun, especially Hamilton and Repp's beach misadventures. To them it was a encapsulation of a typical Batman episode.

Sivi "Undine" Aberg had been in the show before: she was Mimi, one of Chandell and Harry's trio of ladies. The Bros had given her 8 Batpoles then. Vince gives this appearance 8.5. RD gives 8.75, "basically the same as a 9". Sadly there is still nothing new about her online in the year long gap of reviews. 

RD wrote about the time during Vince's WCW tenure where Bam Bam Bigelow was counted out against Brian Knobbs in a No DQ Falls Count Anywhere match. Even Vince admits it was "ridiculous".

• Special Guest Villain: The Joker [9] (Cesar Romero) [9]

 

• Screen Shares: 2. RD, RD