WCR Video: RD and Blade's Trip...To The Library

Since Blade once again reminisced, on the latest Wrestlecrap Radio episode #253, about the time he told his old "Trip...To The Library" story, here's:

RD Reynolds' "Trip...To The Library" story, from WCR episode #3, where he listened to Steve Austin and (unfortunately NOT "Angry") Jim Ross boringly read "The Stone Cold Truth" on Audiobook:



...And Blade Braxton's "Trip...To The Library" story, from WCR episode #160, where he recounts his harrowing encounter with a child molester at his local library's restroom:



(Both videos by BoondyAlBoondy)


And be sure to visit here (not the library) for the WCR Video archives

253 The O Show: September 20, 2015

Ooooooooohhhhhhh!
60 minutes

RD enjoys watching a lot of Prime Time Wrestling, the only place where Mr. X could win a match and be taken seriously, according to Blade. As expected WWE is doing a terrible job of showing episodes so RD has to watch them himself.

Blade wanted Heenan to cross dress like Ms. Elizabeth. Does that make Monsoon Savage (the Monsoon Man) and try to keep Heenan locked away in their never ending feud?

Unlike Blade, RD is "not familiar with Mean Gene Okerlund's O Face" (his climax sound to be sure) so Blade has to (repeatedly) audibly demonstrate for him. (:07) Save that for the Coliseum Video theme before you prematurely ejaculate, pal. (...Which they do, actually.)

For a change my shilling this time is shorter, but alas I realize too late I forgot the URL. Not that it's important for a website or anything like that. Then again, if you didn't know it dear reader (all one of you) you wouldn't be here reading this either. To his credit RD repeats it a few times to make it hit the magic 30 second mark, which makes it sound like I've climaxed multiple times like Mean Gene earlier. (:12) In response The Intestinal Fortitude has its own new ad copy. Sadly RD does not do his Jeff Foxworthy...this time.

Blade remembers the first time RD went on a TRIP...to the Library all those summers ago. (:17) Reminder: Blade also went to the Library too (where he met a candy wielding child molester).

RD forgot a third snack from the Netherlands: Tijgernootjes. They look like bacon cheese infused corn covered peanuts (to him; to me they look like rather small scrotum - they really need better packaging over there) and taste rather good, although he can't put down why exactly the taste is so familiar. Thankfully he does not make an O Face while savoring them.

:24 SPEAKING OF corn Blade remembers when Paul Ellering almost lost an eye. Ah, those were happier and simpler times indeed, no? His daughter Rachel is training in WWCR friend and fine young egg Lance Storm's wrestling school in Calgary...







...Alberta, Canada. (Sorry, it was just my turn to make that joke and I couldn't just pass it up.) RD has been trying to get him on their show again in the past year and a half.

Savio Vega is finally getting his due and appearing in WWE 2K16. (:26) Sad News brought to you by Nintendo John (on the Nintendo): the game is not being ported to the (Nintendo) Wii U or the (Nintendo) 3DS (both old (Nintendo) 3DS and new New (Nintendo) 3DS - or was that new (Nintendo) New 3DS? I always get that mixed up). Anyway Nintendo John confuses RD more than Nintendo's current corporate strategy...on the Nintendo. (Insert Nintendo John's audience cheering here.)

The Rock is pregnant. Well, his lady is. Thankfully the Duo get through without talking about any prospective Junior remake (to be made by WWE Films as a favor to a Hall Of Famer no doubt). (:37) RD and I remember Johnson was married before, and I believe that (thankfully) they still seem to be on good terms as they co-own his production company. Sad News: I don't believe her married family name was Rock like Blade thinks it was.

Much like how Blade's random Iron Mark Tyson impersonation gave life to his later character, RD uses his high pitched Football Fan voice from last episode (The WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen as he terms her) to 'advise' fantasy football players to use Packers WR Jordy Nelson. (:40) Blade is reduced to speechless laughter. I'm speechless too - Jordy Nelson has been on Injured Reserve since the start of the season and would be as effective in your team as I would be if I suddenly became QB. To be fair I would probably do better than whoever is currently doing that in Jacksonville.

(I am also left wondering if she and Popeye will start double calling into the show from now on. *Shudder*)

RD is in turn rendered speechless by the courts issuing Tammy a warrant for her arrest for failing to attend a court hearing for her (recent?) DUI. Oh Emperor. (:43)

Mike Cantalano thinks WWCR is Facebook Support for some reason. (:47) RD begs for better Questions like he's on a charity fundraise drive. Didn't they raise the idea of doing that one time? (I have to find what episode that was though.)

:50 TNA might be dead. For real this time. No mostly dead or half dead or being stone dead in a minute. Also, you know a promotion is bad when an average house show is more surreal than a Monty Python sketch. I'm shocked we haven't got a gimmick of someone Silly Walking in the ring yet. They still have time until the end of the year though, so it's not too late!

Sting is still wrestling at 56 years old. (:56) As much as I respect them both greatly as true wrestling legends...I don't want Sting to become another Ric Flair. We don't need ANOTHER wrestler who walks around losing his pants faster than Walter White. Although now I want to see Bryan Cranston guest host RAW (sponsored by the fine folks at Los Pollos Hermanos) in one of his contamination suits, clothesline Vince, then take off the head piece to show he's been wearing his Heisenberg Hat all this time. License to print money...which he will then store in a barrel that he buries in the New Mexico desert.

RD: "This is his chance to win the WWE title along with all those WCW titles. In other words, it's his chance to butter his bread at both tables."
Blade: "Oh, you're right Jim."

Then they laugh out loud.

Seventeen Syllables Easily Digestible:
Sting and John Cena.
Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
-itude Adjustments.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video: RD and Blade On Angry Marks and Russo's Podcasts

The Thursday Night AMP Podcast, on Angrymarks.com, were joined on August 6, 2015 by RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton, of WrestleCrap.com, for a special interview to reminisce about the life and times of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. The Full Podcast can be also downloaded here.


(Video Title: Memories of Roddy Piper w/ RD Reynolds & Blade Braxton by AngryMarks.com)


RD Reynolds (without Blade) also made a 2nd (and less disastrous) appearance on Vince Russo's Podcast: "The Swerve" on The Relm Network, to talk about his "Death Of WCW: 10th Anniversary" book and TNA's current problems. The video podcast can be seen in full at Vincerussobrand.com.


(Video Title: The Swerve (Preview): RD Reynolds Part 2 by Vince Russo)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives! 

And now, a word from our 'sponsor'


The following is a Public Service Announcement from -


Angry Jim, ya sons-of-bi...scolded dawgs! (You can't pay me enough to curse!)

How ya doin' tonight nerds?!...Agh! Who am I kiddin'?!, It's only 12 listeners as far as I know, and some of ya ain't even left yer mamma's basement yet!

Anyway, my name is Angry Jim! Ya'll know me from my time on WCW and WWE, Oklahoma Sooners, and the maker of the world's finest barbeque sauces known ta man! But more recently, I'm stuck pirate callin' some fu...HOARABIL rasslin' radio show hosted by two dic...guys who don't know which way the sun rises each mornin', as well as sometimes writin' for a site that's run by a group of jacka...I mean...jokers! AND they haven't even paid me for my time yet, despite repeated requests from me to do so?! I mean, I coulda asked them to pay for what I did cause it ain't come cheap! Lawd knows I need the money instead of thes' freeloaders taking others' hard earned livin' and usin' them to make HORABIL dick jokes about -

Premier Blah: [off 'camera', exasperated] Jim, can we please just get on with this? Wasn't it you who requested this post space in the first place?

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm gettin' to that part, can't you just hold ya horses!? *Sigh*. Godda...darn kids these days! What's wrong with 'em? Bunch of nancy pansy luvin' -

Premier: AHEM.

Alright already, will ya just shuv it?!

Anyway, a year ago - GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, a year?! I don't think Hollywood John even lasted that long and he couldn't even pull his head out of his aahh...er...butt?! Anyway, a year ago, the site's old domain wrestlecrapradio.com expired like an old bottle of stale barbeque sauce due to tha site's owners bein' complete shi...doodooheads and not payin' attention to what they're doin'! Heh, kinda like WCW's last days when that coc...chicken plucker; Ed Ferrara was runnin' around pretendin' ta be me!

And speaking of Ed Ferrara, I wish it was that no good hillbilly instead of this...Japanese man or whoever it was who has th' ba...brains to call himself my cousin...Prime Minister Blah, or whatever the flop your name is?!

Premier: Premier Blah. I've told you like ten times already. Didn't whoever you're working with now gave you my credentials?

Ah, shove it, Primer Bra, it's you and my cousin, that soy sauce eatin', sumo wrestlin', robot fu...makin' Jimmycheese Rossini? Gawd darn-it I can't even spell his name right. Don't they have good ol' ENGLISH up where he comes from like any good ol' boy country has like -

Premier: Jimichiro Rosshu. That was his name.

Yeah yeah whatever. You think I care?

So he buys tha domain to make us all gawd darn-it mad! And what does he do? He posts about HIS sexual performance. That's MY gimmick gawd darn-it!

Premier: He did. RVM even managed to grab a hold of him to ask him about it. You even called to vent against him as far as I can remember, Jim. Still I didn't know he had marital problems too. Is that a family thing?

Ah shove it up your fluffer Bra!

Anyway my cousin is more of an idiot than even you, RD, or Blade, and you barely have enough ba...brain cells to share among ya. HE lets his site expire too like a di...dam.

Premier: Which is when I decided to try my luck again and see if I could get it back. I had Clarence spend...a couple of hours on it, as the whole thing was easier and quicker than either of us expected. I mean, if I had known it would be THIS easy I'd have done it far earlier.

That's what you get for being a lazy son of a -

Premier: [ignoring Jim] So the old .com domain name is hopefully back for good this time. Both that and the .blogspot.com URLs should hopefully lead to the same place, inconsistencies here and there notwithstanding of course.

I WAS a bit surprised when Jim offered to help get it back and even paid a bit to reclaim the url though. It was very...uncharacteristic of him. I mean, you go on and on about not getting paid by me, RD, or Blade for your trouble and yet you do this almost charitable thing, if only to stroke your ego somewhat at the same time too?

Ah I didn't do it for you ya coc...cockerel! I wanted ta prove to ma no good cousin that no matter how many crappy robots he makes or monsters he creates or whatever they do sitting on their as...butts over there in Japan, that no matter what he does we Yankees will always put them in their place. Just like when we won WW2 and bombed Hir-




Premier: Sorry for interrupting your Oscar speech Jim, but I have to take this. ... Hello?

Jimichiro Rosshu: AAAGGGGHHH! Premier Blah-san! You bring dishonor and great shame to Jimichiro for hack-destroy Jimichiro Rosshu website Resucrapuadio!  I -

Yeah yeah yeah, Agh, go -


Premier: No, let me take it from here Jim. Jimichiro your company bought our domain name and all you did with it for the year that you had it was write three articles about not having sex with your wife?...Really? Nothing more than that? Like writing about -

Writin' about stir-frying or sex robots or sumo tag team championships or whatever you people do there for fun?

Premier: ... what he said to some extent. Without all those random stereotypes he just threw out of course.

Jimichiro Rosshu: AAAGGGGHHH! None of business what I write! I suffer dishonor and shame for this and become demotion from one of 40 assistant manager to one of 80 assistant assistant manger at Fukya Selfu Robotics! Now Jimichiro wish to restore honor by choppy choppy Blah-san and redneck Jim-san pee-pee!

Go fluff yourself! You're not cuttin' off ma penis you son of a -


Premier: ... Guys, Guys, there's a much better way to settle this. Quickly, get Clarence Mason on the phone!

Jimichiro Rosshu: You want sue Jimichiro Blah-san!? I get "Ace Attorney" Naruhodou-san to sue you! And then I kicka your (*phone cuts out*)

Aaaaah go Fukushima yourself ya piece of shii...take! You and your 80 assistant to the assistant to the assistant of whoever stir-fries your sushi in that company of yours! Let me tell you somethin', there may be 80 of you cooks but only one of me! And I have an 80 year old cripple, Bob Caudle, as my cooking assistant!

Premier: Sigh...

And you Bra! When will YOU pay me for doing you a favor ya coc...cockarel? Darn it, do I have to get John Thomas on th' phone to get my money's worth?




Premier: Oh boy...Blah here. Mr. Thomas I presume?

Heyyy, er, this is Iron Mark Tyson... Er, I just heard we're at war with the Japanese again?...So, er, you know...how will this affect my flight to Tokyo next week?







Premier: I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning...




The preceding Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by...

JR's Dark Journey Mahogany Barbeque Sauce! Try some today, and you'll be loving every minute of it. Includes a free pair of Dark Journey Head Scissors! 






[To Be Continued...]


252 Summer's RDeve: September 10, 2015

#252: The one where RD eats p..."Cats"
78 minutes

Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield made Blade morbidly think back on when he used to watch boxing in the dark days of the 90s when about half the wrestlers had boxing gimmicks. RD remembers when Michael Buffer was in WCW mispronouncing names.

As this is the third episode (so far) Blade thinks the listeners will get laid without having to purchase a Global Internet URL. (:06)

RD does his Drag Queen Football Fan impersonation for some reason.

RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.

WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.

While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid for it!

That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.

:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food pal?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.

RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).

Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants? 

Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.

:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.

Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?

Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.

Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.

John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.

Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)

Hillbilly Jim last main evented a PPV 27 years ago.

Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.

A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 14: More Than Words (Ambreigns AU)

More Than Words (Ambreigns AU)
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken

Roman Reigns's favorite day of the week was Thursday.

It was a good business day for Java Central because the little coffeehouse featured an open mic night the first and third Thursday of each month, gaining the cozy shop great business from enthusiastic hipsters and aspiring musicians on top of the multitude of college students the establishment tended to on a daily basis. He loved open mic night. Some of the performances were painful to endure, and others weren't too shabby. But one specific performer-slash-customer always managed to snag his attention during his two or three minutes on the makeshift stage, perched on a barstool, acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder. Roman didn't even know why. Something about him was just so…so…he couldn't even find the right word to describe it. Beautiful is the one he'd choose if it didn't sound so lame. Make him sound so pathetic.

But Roman liked him. Loved concentrating on the reticent soloist and his simple yet dexterous musical abilities.

Roman had a textbook open underneath the counter as he dragged a damp washcloth over the tile surface, trying to study and clean up before the evening post-work/post-class rush and open mic night kicked off. Microbiology was tedious but certainly not grueling. He hadn't realized he'd been wiping the same spot of the counter over and over again until he heard someone clear their throat. He lifted his head and met eyes with his roommate Randy.

"Hey, what time are you off?"

"I'm closing." Closing shifts kept him here until at least one in the morning on a guaranteed lively evening such as the one pending.

"'Kay. Just letting you know, I've got a double date with the Bella twins tonight."

"Which one do you get?"

"Both of them. I get two helpings." Randy grinned deviously. Roman pretended to be proud of his manwhoreish ways. He held out a fist in feigned consent and praise, and Randy bumped it with his own. Roman couldn't imagine what Randy would have thought if he knew Roman had what felt an awful lot like a crush on some guy he didn't know.

"Score."

"So yeah. Fair warning if you wander in at any point tonight. Might be a little noisy."

Ugh. Roman wondered if he had anywhere else to crash tonight. He totally wanted to respect Randy's privacy with Nikki and Brie Bella by staying far away from that apartment. "Thanks for the heads-up. Anything else you want while you're here?"

Randy's big brown eyes scanned the handwritten menu on the wall above Roman's head. "Yeah, go ahead and get me a Mt. Vesuvius Panini. Extra meatballs."

In the five minutes it took to prepare Randy's Panini, more customers surged into the little coffeehouse.

Roman bagged Randy's order to go. Randy snatched the bag and gave Roman a wink. 
"See you later, then? Maybe?"

"Maybe." 

The End.

WCR Video: Blade Braxton Is The Littlest Hobo

Since we usually like to cross-promote WCR Videos with The Mike Check Show. Check out the Littlest Hobo theme song; "Maybe Tomorrow" on The MACKER! And then watch the show's opening titles, featuring WCR's "Braxton" in the leading role, right here on THE WHACKER!



(Video by LannysPermJuice)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!