Minisode #018 WrestleMania Bus

by iggy



January 27, 2006

The WrestleMania bus was burgled
Spirit Squad

#former Lex Express #bus driver Hillbilly Jim

018 Announcements: January 27, 2006

Announcements
(31 minutes)

Jameson
Thanks to the snippet of Leonard Nimoy Presents Mr. Spock's Music From Outer Space (the album is awesome by the way, go find it), RD and Blade are geeks, nerds, poindexters. Blade has an autographed photo of Jameson on his wall, maybe the only autographed photo of Jameson in existence. An Announcement: Inductions of WrestleCrap will now occur more than once a month, thanks to the hiring of some new writers.

Obscure Wrestling News: Matt Morgan was arrested for impersonating a police officer in an attempt to pick up women. Zorak/Mantis Girl has been fired. Someone broke into the WrestleMania bus. There must be a huge warehouse of garbage from old WWF gimmicks. The Royal Rumble is this week. RD remembers the time that comedian Drew Carey once participated in it.

The Question of the Week now has a sting of MIDI trumpets from an old and obscure game, which RD says sucks. WWE has given five wrestlers one crappy gimmick (the Spirit Squad). Questioner Erik Majorwitz thinks that crappy gimmick should also involve Katie Vick.

Morning Dew Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
They've got spirit yay.
Spirit Squad's got spirit yay.
They've got spirit gay.
 
RD: "That was the worst ending ever."
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Questioner of the Week Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Gorn to my redshirted Leslie, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 8. Jameson, classics, nerds, cumming on pillows, nerds (2), Spirit Squad, spirits, awful
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Mr. Spock, Boyz II Men
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • Question of the Week now with trumpets from: Erik Majorwitz
    • Since the Spirit Squad debuted, has Vince called you inquiring if you would like to part with the Katie Vick outfit for an upcoming storyline? No sold.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: 2, 4, 6, 8...
    They’ve got spirit yay.
    Spirit squad’s got spirit yay.
    They’ve got spirit gay.
 

Minisode #017 Lita and Blade

by iggy



January 20, 2006

Blade saw Lita at a car show

#peddling #her head

017 Rated C For Crap: January 20, 2006

Speaking of masturbating with corn oil...
(25 minutes)

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!
RD wanted to vomit with rage after the Colts lost, so he went through his wrestling tapes. The first of WWF's 'Most Outrageous Matches' was Mabel vs Yokozuna. American Idol sucks. RD pitches American Immigrant instead, where people have to perform for a chance to enter the country. I'm surprised Fox hasn't made an attempt at making it yet.

Obscure Wrestling News: Luther Reigns was humiliated at the AVN award ceremony. Some random XPW jobbing couple won some "freedom of speech" award at the ceremony, so Blade distracts us with how he and his friend Don were found having fun with some corn oil. One Night In Chyna was the best-selling porn film last year, which says much about the state of the adult film industry.

Question of the Week needs intro music. Too Cold Matteo's logic question about how the toothless Boogeyman could bite off Jillian Hall's mole leaves Blade speechless.

Heidenreich was fired.

The Haiku:
Run, Run Heidenreich.
Run away. Live to anal
rape some other day.

Blade met Lita once at a car show. That's it. Speaking of going to masturbate with corn oil... 
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Star Man to my Fighter Haysbusa, Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 10. Vomiting and rage, you getting busted with corn oil (2), you and corn oil, you, Blade Braxton and corn oil, Blade’s corn hole, good friends of the site, awards, anal rape
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 0.
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • Question of the Week from: Too Cold Matteo
    • Dear RD Blade, how could the Boogeyman have bitten off Jillian Hall's mole if he has no teeth? No sold.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Heidenreich needs a blue pill?
    Run, Run Heidenreich.
    Run away. Live to anal
    rape some other day.
 

Minisode #016 School Just Sucks

by iggy



January 13, 2006

RD doesn't want to be judged by video store clerks
RD has a degree in broadcasting
Haiku about Edge and Lita

#pimply-faced #take our money

016 WrestleClock Radio: January 13, 2006

WrestleClock Radio
(27 minutes)

Blade bought '80s movies at a closeout sale. RD does not like clerks who question his purchases.

Obscure Wrestling News: Christy Hemme will quarterback one of the Lingerie Bowl teams. Last week, in Memphis, Boogeyman fought Koko B Ware. Blade curses then says "excuse my language" and wasn't being sarcastic. One of the 'castoffs' of last year's Diva Search named Alexis will be in a reality competition show to gain the affections of Flava Flav. I am not sure if this also involves quarterbacking a Lingerie Bowl team.

RD and Blade forgot to do the Question of the Week last week. This week from Batman Plus Robin Equals The Conway: the bathroom should be called the elimination chamber.

RD saw a thirteen-star Bret Hart vs Steamboat match. The 2005 Gooker of Jim Ross' escapades has been posted. This year's Gooker already has nominees, including the Tim White suicide angle. You can hear Shelton Benjamin's momma yelling during his matches because the 20,000 fans are bored silent. Lita was topless on Raw during Edge's Live Sex celebration. Blade was disappointed about something else though.


Seventeen Syllables:
Congrats Edge, new champ.
May your reign be more solid
than your limp Live Sex.
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The ReRun to my Rodge, Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Impressive
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 1. Frank Gorshin
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Christy Hemme References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: Batman Plus Robin Equals The Conway
    • In Bizarro World, what website do Bizarro Blade and Artificial Deal Reynolds run? And does it make me too much of a fan if I refer to my bathroom as the elimination chamber? No sold.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Edge needs a blue pill?
    Congrats Edge, new champ.
    May your reign be more solid
    than your limp Live Sex.
 

Minisode #015 Alien Ham

by iggy



January 6, 2006

Blade got the He-Man and She-Ra Xmas Special
Cap'n Crunch redrawn as a psychotic
The Alien Ham Story
Blade wants the Kronik weight-loss plan.
Tajiri and Tajiri's wife is back in Japan
Edge re-enactated Ric Flair's road rage.
Mickie James stalked Trish Stratus.
The seedy underbelly of WWE Shop Zone

#diamond dan garza #don mason

015 Alien Ham: January 6, 2006

Alien Ham
(31 minutes)

RD is an idiot because he didn't do some thing on time or other. Speaking of shames... Blade received the He-Man and She-Ra Xmas Special. RD meanwhile received a cutout of a picture of his friend Diamond Dave. Cap'n Crunch is psychotic. In high school, Blade and his friend Don Mason had ham that looked like that thing that came out of that guy's chest in Alien. The alien ham rotted underneath his bed.

Obscure Wrestling News: Blade's 'cousin' Toni is posing in Playboy. Crush is offering to make you a personalized diet plan. Thea Vidale is Shelton Benjamin's mom. More developments with Tajiri and his house prisoner wife. Ricky Morton needs money from auctions RIGHT NOW...which don't complete until the end of the month.

Other drivers make him angry.
23 minutes in, "Real" Wrestling News. RD got through TiVoed Raw in five minutes. Edge mimicked Ric Flair in a road rage segment. Trish and Mickie James are in a lesbian angle.

Very Moving First Haiku of 2006:
I missed Raw Monday.
No clue what to talk about.
Lita's boobs are huge.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Jefferson D’Arcy to my Al Bundy, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 8. Shames, homoerotic tights, tragedy, food, spoiled pieces of meat (2), being on thin ice, Lita
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 1. Happy Days
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 4
  • Mickie James References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade only knows two things:
    I missed Raw Monday.
    No clue what to talk about.
    Lita's boobs are huge.