Rest In Peace Harry Simon



As RD put it on his site in turn, Blade said it best:


Very sad news to report and I’m still stunned. I just learned of the passing of one of the longtime members of the WrestleCrap family, Harry Simon. For the longtime WrestleCrap Radio listeners, Harry portrayed the role of my longtime rival on the show, the notorious bill collector, John Thomas. Harry’s incredible humor cannot be understated in regards to just how much he meant to our show/listeners in the early days of WCR, as well as the written material he provided for the website. I remember us chatting a while back about how much fun we had doing the old WrestleMania 2 induction, which is where this image is taken from.
Just a great, great guy and a good pal. He will be forever missed. Rest in peace, buddy.

Harry had been one of the WC fellows for a very long time, and his range and scope which were tremendously large spread over to WCR. Although he voiced many random 'guests' on the progrem, his trademark was as the (in)famous John Thomas of Chase Meridian Mastercharge, frequently hounding Mr. Blade Brakestown for his huge credit card bills, going all the way back to 2006. (He was also Lee Marshall on that episode.)


A good and talented man, he will be sorely missed by all, especially on this particularly sad and tragic day. Our thoughts and condolences go out to his family and loved ones.

WCR Video: Darth Blader

Since the fruitcakes dedicated the majority of "Wrestlecrap Radio: Episode 257" to discussing the new Star Wars movie, "The Force Awakens", the following WCR video will also be Star Wars related. This video (which was created by lannyspermjuice and re-uploaded by me, R.V.M Kai) parodies the conclusion of "Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" where WCR's very own Blade Braxton's voice is edited in to replace James Earl Jones':



And speaking of "editing", did you know that Star Wars creator, George Lucas, saw my "WHO'S BECKY?!" video (created using Goanimate) and insisted that some alterations needed to be made? Well, he sent his updated clip back to me, but I think it was fine the way it was! I think it would’ve been better if Blade shot first:



And you can also checkout The Mike Check Show, who's in the midst of playing every song from that 1978 Star Wars Christmas Special.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 15: A Jedi for Christmas

A Jedi for Christmas
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken

Padmé glanced outside the windows of her home on Naboo. It was Christmas Eve and snow was falling thick and heavy across the ground. She was all alone in the house except for her two small five year old children. Her rambunctious children were chasing each other with boundless energy. They were excited that tomorrow they could open the presents under the tree that had captured their attention over the last few days.

Both Luke and Leia had spent hours trying to guess what was inside the presents and on a number of occasions Padmé had been forced to scold them for their attempts to peel the colorful paper from the boxes. She even threatened Luke that she would return his gifts if he kept up his bad behavior. Padmé was not sure how she survived the last few days with her two children, some days they acted just like their father.

This thought upset Padmé as she watched her small children run around the house. They were all she had this Christmas. She loved her children dearly, but she felt a void with the absence from the person who should be standing by her side right now.

Knowing she was working herself up, Padmé decided to distract herself from her musings. "Luke, Leia, bed!" Padmé called out over their gleeful shouts while she locked the doors to the house. She always feared for her little ones safety, but after all she had been through, one couldn't blame her. She cast a glance out the window once more; drawing her eyes up at the clouds and gave a sad sigh of longing for something she knew she couldn't have.

"But Mommy, it's Christmas!" Luke whined. "Can't we stay up just this once?"

"We're not tired." Leia added, shaking her head so her long brown hair tangled in a tousled mess.

Padmé tore her eyes away from the sky and turned back to her small children. Her sadness must have shown on her face for both her children showed equal looks of concern as they both said, "Mommy, are you all right?"

Padmé's mood lifted at the sight of her young children and her frown dissolved into a soft smile. "I'm fine my little ones, but it is time for you two to go to bed!"

"But Mommy!" Luke and Leia both whined, jutting their bottom lips into identical pouts.

"No!" Padmé stated firmly, then pointing over her twins' heads she said. "No arguments. It is time for bed. Get going, I'll tuck you in."

Both Luke and Leia grumbled, but they knew better than to argue with their mother. However, they made their displeasure known as they sulkily walked towards their rooms.

"Just like your father." Padmé whispered to herself, shaking her head with amusement.


THE END.

257 The Star Wars Holiday Special: December 23, 2015

"Boring conversation anyway!"
80 minutes

RD warns they won't be talking much about wrestling, as is their usual.

"If you're coming here, if you're coming to our Christmas show, and you're expecting in-depth analysis of professional wrestling, I'm afraid my friends you may be disappointed."

That should be their beginning disclaimer on every show, not just this one.

Blade tells about the time he became drunk Darth Vader the one time he saw Twisted Sister. Though that was more about him having trouble breathing (while taking a Force piss) rather than killing some younglings through some bad acting.

RD plays a randomly found old recording of the time they and some of the submitting Listeners randomly sang Jingle Bells. (:05) "We used to be funny," he admits.

The Fruitcakes are no longer in contention for the WCFFL (myself having defeated Blade to get into contending for the Fralic Trophy, a first for me! Wish me luck.) so their football expert calls to pout about his tactics. This makes RD laugh. (:08)

RD is nostalgic for the first time I confused him with my submitted ad copy. I admit I am too. Those sure were simpler times! Blade is confused by the multiple URLs that are in play. [Edit by R.V.M Kai: RD may have also given us our new tag-line: "Wrestlecrapradio.com: A fantastic website! It's almost as good as Wrestlecrap.com!"] (:12)

I also sent the Duo a present or so for the season...if you consider the timely ZZ Top's Eliminator a gift like I do. (:15) Blade promises to deliver on his Big Announcement that he first mentioned about in...2007.

The Duo also got a gift from "The Grocery". Not Ray Stevens? (:18) They are Little Debbie's North Pole Nutty Bars. They're smaller than regular Nutty Bars yet still taste the same. Sounds like a rip-off if you ask me.

RD remembers Stevie J's Horray For Khali Claus. (:23)

Fascinating Christmas
there, RJ & Brad.
Speaking of being as old as Khali/Santa Claus, Mike Check calls in. (:25) He actually had his own radio station once: NPOL North Pole 98. The N is for the Northern region you see. Basing things on a bad James Bond movie (Die Another Day in this case, not Spectre) he became Frosty Largerod and lived in an igloo for three months. For a change he plays RD's other beloved Jillian Hall's "Freddy Krueger impression".

:33 The Midnight Rose was in some NES-based wrestling game competition. Blade mixes himself and the Rose up, as is his usual. He blames his controller for his bad performance.

RD was asked by Trash Losagain to manage him one last time in the ring. He remembers the last time he did so over 10 or so years ago, when the Big Show beat him up.

Carl Zayas (2) is concerned about the Fruitcake's Star Wars debate from last time. They do however both agree that Episode VII: The Force Awakens was pretty good. RD enjoyed Han Solo redeeming himself from Return Of The Jedi. Blade thinks ROTJ Han was based on RD retroactively somehow.

This brings Sir Alec for some reason. Which makes Blade laugh for some reason. (:41) He has a Star Wars Christmas themed fanfiction piece which sadly does not include that other Sir Alec.

RD remembers Piper at Christmas. (:49)

Jim is down as usual (:51) partly due to him not getting into the ZZ Top action by getting their CD. He also wants to talk about Star Wars for some reason. His spoilers news sources are all wrong, especially about barbecuing, which makes him leave randomly, as is more and more his fashion (Confused Jim perhaps?). And without even verbally flipping them off too! "Go Force yourself!" RD fills in for him.

:57 The Duo get down to some more Star Wars discussion. Only right here *slam* on WrestleCrap Radio!

RD remembered how he was spoiled on The Empire Strikes Back and ROTJ so he tried and succeeded to avoid anything for TFA (a tactic that I also did with equal success). Knowing where things led anyway he was still reflectively sad on what transpired with (TFA) Han. "Not every story has a happy ending," he reminds Blade. Blade is in turn reminded of how RD would fit perfectly in the Star Wars universe with his travails and events and things.

Blade went as Bossk with RD's gift mask and got into conflict with the police there. Wow, who could see that coming? RD & son went with their outfits and had no trouble. Blade thinks he should have gone as dying Darth Vader in ROTJ. "Think of the children!" he says.

RD reminds people who thought TFA was too similar to A New Hope that just because they thought so doesn't mean others who are younger and may not have seen the films before would think the same or not like it, which is a valid point. "Or you might wind up having your favorite character be Jedi Han Solo, that would be a tragedy!" At least he fares better than Blade's Bossk, who just sat around while Luke & Leia broke out Jedi Han/RD from Jabba the Hutt.

Blade then mumbles randomly about how the Ewoks were hidden until release and were thus shown as 'ugly Star Trek style aliens' as black blobs with hair. Someone should follow up on this.

:72 Fellow colleague Jordan Mishkin sent RD a vintage wrestling shirt. Blade received a Pabst Blue Ribbon flask and a Carbonite Han Solo popcorn bucket with a hand puppet of that ESB asteroid monster (Space Slug) from RD. In turn he sent him an Attack Of The Clones shirt, hopefully without sand in it.

Here We Go:
Han Solo is dead.
What did this make me feel like?
Lumpy in my throat.




$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #047: A HorseTrolla Xmas

Since Mike Check is playing "Santa Claus Is A Black Man" by Akim and Teddy Vann; this Minisode contains the story (from Wrestlecrap Radio's 2006 Christmas episode #047) about how a young RD Reynolds discovered the shocking "truth" about Santa Claus. While visiting Santa at the mall as a child, like lot of us, he was expecting to meet a bearded, old, overweight Caucasian male. But seeing an African American man in a Santa suit sort of changed his perspective on things.

Also included in this Minisode:
  • Custom Cornhole Games all over Indiana
  • Lupita
  • Little Debbie Xmas Trees were gone.
  • RD receives the HorseTrolla
  • Francine un-retired.
  • Dr. Keith sent a magazine.
  • Blade and RD exchange gifts.


(by WCR Minisodes)

...And Merry Christmas from all of us at WrestlecrapRadio.com!

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

WCR Video: Interactive: (Furthest Thing To) Perfect

On Episode #256 of Wrestlecrap Radio, RD and Blade brought back one of my (R.V.M Kai) favourite segments; the Interactives. For those not familiar, it was basically a segment where the co-fruitcakes play a clip from YouTube and provide their hilarious brand of commentary to it. Well after mentioning the name of an independent pro-wrestler "Tommy Lee Curtis", from cwecanda.ca, who's ring-name is the "closest thing to" Jamie Lee Curtis, they wondered if he was related to the actress and can legally call himself "Mr. Perfect"? This then reminds them of some forgotten movie from the 1980's called "Perfect" (starring JLC and John Trovolta) and the song (Closest Thing To) Perfect by Jermaine (we couldn't afford Michael) Jackson, from it's soundtrack.

Anywho, I created and uploaded the video to complement their commentary track of the aforementioned music video...which is the "Furthest Thing To Perfect", let me tell you:


WCR Video Interactive - (Furthest Thing To... by rvm619

Unfortunately, you will not be able to find this song yet on The Mike Check Show due to his annual "Christmas Carousal" now playing during the month of December. But stay tuned.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

256 Kitty Little: November 28, 2015

"Just buy some damn tubs!”
89 minutes

RD has seen just about all the old Christmas movies so he is forced to watch newer (and worse) ones, one of them so bad he will be writing about it next week (after having subjected his wife to it too). Sadly it is not that “naked” Dusty Rhodes Christmas movie that was (to be) released in a January.

Blade makes his “joke of the week”. (:05)

Blade's Royals have won the World Series after 30 years and the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau after 24 years. He recorded them on VHS (:07) Meanwhile Payton Manning is not growing younger and Andrew Luck is getting more injured. RD does his "David Carr rant".

Oddly enough at no point does their football expert call in to give 'advice'. I guess it's because no one unique of note was injured this week. I say unique because Tony Romo was injured. Yes, again. Poor guy can't catch a break (or throw one for that matter). I just hope he doesn't get traded to the Jets.

According to yours truly WWCR is six (freaking) hours long and has scales. Like a fish? And it gets played twice. So 12 hours long then? (:12)

RD surprises himself by not listening to the ad copy beforehand as if to avoid spoilers. Blade remembers he was looking for a Co Hosss “coach” from the earlier/interim Show. Yes, what a surprise he didn't follow up on that. Or his Big Announcement. Truly it is such a shock.

Also he can't count.

Also WC is still sponsoring itself. (:16) Their Black Friday Sale includes a discounted Archives at $12.95. That's like $2 off if I can't count either. They also have those Amazon links that give them some money when used to buy stuff. Like the new Death Of WCW, available in physical and Kindle format!

:20 The Festive TRIP to Black Friday music is loud on RD's side, but for some reason Blade says he can't hear it.

The duo have been on so many Black Fridays Blade needs a list to keep track of them. Well, SPEAKING OF lists, I wonder which reference site has a easy to search list of all their Black Friday outings...

RD went to Mayer's where he was confused by how much kitty litter was being bought by so many people. This included a family of five prematurely aging rednecks discussing it, their “stupid” mother wondering why it's not spelled “little” and the father quoting: “honey, it's so much cheaper than that *bleep* you buy! Just buy some damn tubs!”

Yes, the man probably censored himself too as he spoke on the day.

:36 Like Tammy, Dawn Marie has some strange name rules. One of her names Dawny sounds like washing detergent. Blade cheers RD'S joke of Dawny Marie like one of their audiences.

The pantsless Brother Midnight will return to the ring on Dec 4th at CWE's Rumble to Remember. (:41) Blade thinks one of their talent, named Tommy Lee Curtis, has the gimmick of being Jamie Lee’s sister which is so bad that even RD laughs at it, and he is the master of bad gimmicks. They then watch Jermaine Jackson (back when he had longer hair) sing the theme song from Perfect, a movie Jamie Lee was in which according to Blade could make Tommy Lee “Mr. Perfect”. (:46)

And yes, John Travolta is her love interest.


Coincidentally this was also Travolta's reaction when he heard that.

According to Melina, her long term boyfriend John Morrison takes Cialis. (:51) Is he also one of those guys in their advertisements sitting in the bathtub of their advertisements still waiting for WWE to call him?

Blade: "You might stick it in your peehole."
RD: (100 'kids' later) "I don't know why I started this show again either. You have to forgive me."

JR then calls. (:54) Bob Caudle used his large and excess supply of Vaseline (used alongside some Dark Journey head scissors) to wax his van which attracted bugs on their way to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. He makes Blade laugh. He asked John Morrison for BBQ ideas and he suggested Cialis in the turkey rub to keep you up. This was all well and good until the children got into it and then got into the pies. Apparently Jim needs to take some Cialis too as he forgets what else he wanted to say. “Go fluff yourself!” he says instead.

Tammy has a “new” website. (:59) In keeping with her style it's based in Wix, the Geocities of the ‘10s. And looks like it too. As expected she has items for sale, none of them with Shawn Michaels’ signature for some reason.

It will also be her 43rd birthday soon so the Fruitcakes once again look up her Amazon wishlist (available through their Amazon links). It's still under her “old” name of Tammy.

:71 Paul O’Parka has a question about Star Wars. This leads to heated discussion including the following:
  • RD watched the movies with his son.
  • He sees the movies differently now than when he first saw them.
  • He argues with Blade about how as average as it is Revenge Of The Sith is better than Return Of The Jedi as a whole.
  • Said Return included (in his opinion) the blasted teddy bear Ewoks, a neutered Han Solo (shouldn't that be frozen?) accidently poking Boba Fett into a sarlacc; and Slave Leia not looking as good as Princess, Hoth, or Bespin Leia (though more under an influence, but at least we have the Force to thank for Carrie Fisher to defeat that and be better and funnier than ever, bless her heart).
  • He thinks the movie could have been cut down to 75 minutes rather than its bloated Jabba the Hutt/Death Star II size.
  • He thought Attack Of The Clones had some good (better) pieces.
  • He would prefer to watch III’s General Grievous, who if you've forgotten already (and I don't blame you) was a coughing and wheezing vaudeville cyborg who was shot to death by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"He has four arms! He would make a perfect arm wrestling champion gimmick!"
- 1990's Vince McMahon/Alternative universe wrestling tycoon George Lucas
Also: more credible world champion than Sheamus

:80 The argument spills over to Current Wrestling News instead of RD spilling something else (when he ejaculates).

RD: "I guarantee you. I don't like to make guarantees on this show. I guarantee you this show that you are listening to right now kids is historic. I promise you in the history of Planet Earth no two geeks have ever argued over the merits of bad Star Wars movies while the theme from Coliseum Home Video played in the background."

TNA has had yet another stay of execution. This sounds like the makings of a new show segment to be sure. Now they've gone on Pop TV...the former TV Guide Channel, truly the perfect place for professional wrestling! Sadly for Blade it's not a soda-based channel, as he wonders about in a bad joke. RD counters with his own bad joke about Snap and Crackle TV. Blade counter counters with a really obscure joke about WWE moving to Spike TV back in the day.

Also there are reports that TNA is actually paying protection money for their time rather than the usual other way round, a sure sign of a desperate action if ever I've heard one.

To no one's surprise, a lackluster Survivor Series (starring your new world champion Sheamus...again) creates record low ratings for RAW, dropping under 3 million viewers for the first time since its expansion to 3 hours. (:85) Somehow RD offended people when telling them so on Facebook.

Eva Marie was booed on NXT for a rather bad promo among other bad things. To be sure, it's not like she's been in the business long or anything due to being on NXT...oh wait. She's a two year veteran who's one of the main 'protagonists' on that awful Total Divas progrem. Why am I not surprised? Or surprised that the (Montreal based!) pornographic company Brazzers would make her a job offer (among other wrestlers they've contacted, more for publicity than anything lasting really).

Normally I would go on about how often such...adult content would be a step up for most of the Divas on the roster...but knowing her skills, I fear it would end pretty badly. Not badly in the sense of grossing people out ala Joanie Laurer, but in the sense of botching that action too.

Yes, it is possible to be bad at pornography.

No, don't ask me how.

No, don't ask me how I know this either.

This Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Eva Marie porn.
Brazzers made her an offer.
Hope she'll be ball gagged.


$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #046: Black Friday’s Bedding Man

Since The Mike Check Show has referenced the "Bedding Man" Black Friday Story, here's a Wrestlecrap Radio flashback from Minisode #046 (in 2006) for your enjoyment. For those unfamiliar, basically "Bedding Man" was a person that RD Reynolds witnessed at Kohl's during a Black Friday sale yelling on his cell phone saying (quote) "Bitch! I am in line! I am in the store! I'm back in bedding!" (unquote)...while lying on a store bed:

Also included in this Minisode:
  • Good Times and John Amos.
  • Francine retired.
  • Centaur Mickie James is lifting the tail.
  • More wrestlers for the OVW box.


(Video by wcrminisodes)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

WCR Video: Interactive: Far From Q'ute

In this WCR video from Wrestlecrap Radio episode #107, RD and Blade's disscussion on 2008's "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling" goes into a tangent when they argue on whether, 80's singer "Stacey Q", looks "cute" or not for some reason? The co-fruitcakes then do commentary on her "Two Of Hearts" music video to judge for themselves.

...But their CCW discussion was "Far From Over" because they do briefly go through the reality show's "star-studded" list and then later watch another music video by the first male contestant that was eliminated from the show, which was, you guessed it:

FRANK STALLONE.


Note: I (R.V.M Kai) created this video after I recently discovered that a previous video title "Stacey Spew", which was one of my favorite "WCR Interactive" segments, had been deleted from YouTube. So I spent literally 6 HOURS LONG re-making my own version...so anyone asking me to re-create another one is "pushing" it!

Oh, and speaking of "Pushin'" (and Frank Stallone), go over to The Mike Check Show right now!.


And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

255 Tee Hee Halloween: October 30, 2015

"And ya gonna say please & thank ya!"
106 minutes

RD surrounds himself with candles. Huey has yet to update his jokes.

Roddy Piper returns from the grave to warn us about staying safe at Halloween, bless him forever more. (:04)

The Royals are in the World Series (including two Reds as RD points out). To be sure I would have preferred the Blue Jays in their place but I like both teams and the Royals put a stronger showing for the Championship Series anyway. Blade hates waking up early to watch the Lions and Chiefs playing in England because the NFL desperately wants non-Americans to watch American football. On an unrelated note, their Drag Queen with a voice like Ben Vereen advises you to draft Arian Foster. I agree. (:09)

The Pit where PB keeps Raging_Demons ???
For a change, Raging Demons does the shilling this week.  (:13) To be fair he has a much better voice than I even if he is trapped in a pit like RD says he is. Perhaps he's confusing him with Dante's portrayal of Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell...or perhaps he's confusing him with the WWCR character of Satan. (He'll be appearing later on in the progrem in case you were one of the two people who missed him.)

The Intestinal Fortitude didn't pay for this episode sadly, so RD shills his site and Archives more. Listen to the man, I implore you! Trust me, you won't regret your purchase. (You can regret listening to this radio progrem instead.)

According to RD Blade last wrote a Jobber Of The Week in 2003 (on my birthday too no less, October 13th). He Big Announcements some more in response. (:17) They then argue on the availability of Orange Slice.

Blade did some sort of part and found some more folks to go along with him to the grocery. Sadly Eva Savelalot was not one of them. (:22)

The strangest thing the Fruitcakes didn't pick up on was that Mr. T also did a 1-800 Collect commercial or two - foo!, and the Pinkman, Aaron Paul, was in one of them. (He did quite a few commercials and famously appeared on a Barker era The Price Is Right before his breakout discovery by a cancer suffering high school chemistry teacher eager to break into the drug/meth business. Sadly in none of them did he call anyone bitches. He should go back and correct that now with the power of his Emmys before Vince calls him to guest host Raw.)

Anyway, Blade has some Zapps' Voodoo Potato Chips that he hands off to Don to try without even bothering to cue up his theme jingle. Sad News: when trick-or-treating with his children he does not wear his mask; although it does help fans (he has fans living nearby right?) come up to him on the street to ask him for the proper application of corn oil. Even Sadder: the chips are not malt vinegar/BBQ/rib-flavored like he thinks they are.

Danielle Harris with NOT Blade Braxton
Blade's compatriot Midnight Rose met Scream Queen Danielle Harris in a very loud place. She prefers granola much to his surprise. (:36) At that same loud place he also talked with Traci Lords who likes Lucky Charms, which currently have Hot Mask Action.

"And that's the bottom of the line,
'cause Stone Cold Austin said so!"
"Stone Cold Austin" finally has his own beer, Broken Skull India Pale Ale, which Blade is apparently already acquainted with based on how drunk he sounds. (:44) The flavor's description confuses Blade with its toxic-sounding ingredients and RD by how it describes itself as "polite".

Kurt Angle wants to teach while taking a year off after escaping TNA. That sounds like the setting for a sitcom. (:52)

Speaking of obscure, Curt Hawkins, currently in Global Force Wrestling, announces the 'debut' of one BM Punk to the company. (:55) The real BM is not happy with the news, and in constipation flushes his frustration out on RD in a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

"Old" Rosa Mendes is pregnant. (:58) So too is "feverish" ClockTrolla champion Candace Michelle. Her current child looks rather vampiric.

Tammy/Tam needs money so she's going to sell pictures of her Mexican vacation from sunnyskype8@gmail.com. The duo overthink on what she has to offer. (:65)

As if on cue Satan pays a visit. (:70) Actually it's Stan, the Evil Troll Lord now, perhaps taking a cue from Tammy trying to change her name for some reason from the last progrem. Also, his Tubular Bells once again sound different. Like Jim earlier he also hasn't been paid his royalties and he desperately needs his money to pay landlord God (landgod? landdiety?) for his lease in Hell. He recounts how Tammy is again feuding with people on Twitter, though it's about her looks from her youth so I have to take her side on this one.

Also on cue on cue Mike Check calls in, also wanting his royalties. (:76) Blade's usual silliness causes RD to chuckle and break character.

When he regains his composure Mike tells them about the time he was in the Salem, Massachusetts market in WTCH "The Witch". He was Johnny Boo and together with a female DJ named Ann B Love, they did Afternoon Delight with Boo B Love. (get it?!?!?!) His ensuing music drowns the sleeping RD.

Mike: "Why does RJ never talk when I'm on here?"

Blade thinks the monetary reward from Questioning (of the week) should be tax-refundable. Of course, that's for INTERNATIONAL i.e. usually NON-AMERICAN folks who don't believe in taxes (or death for that matter) so I have no idea how that would work.

Zane U Paisley wants to know what wrestling shirt he should wear for jury duty. (:90) RD often wears Blade's Dungeon Of Doom shirt, especially while exercising. When Blade is not exercising once a week he wears his ECW Francine shirt that rips off Stone Cold Austin. Then he starts chuckling too.

What's this? News about Hulk Hogan that's NOT related to his racism? (:75) Someone's dug up an old WCW contract of his, and it's pretty amazing the amount of millions he received even while WCW was losing money...followed by Hogan losing his money to Linda. Blade remembers his (still on going?) creepy love for Brooke and her long legs. RD plays ZZ Top's Sleeping Bag as his answer.

Hell In A Cell was alright. Of course neither Fruitcake talks about it much.

One Fun Sized Package:
Vince doesn't like blood.
Will the next pay per view be
sponsored by Tampax?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video (Repeat): Roddy Piper Double Feature: Halloween Tips & "They Live" Parody

The following WCR Videos were featured on wrestlecrapradio.com around Halloween 2013 as an annual tribute to "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips. I (R.V.M Kai) sadly discontinued this last year when I featured a Don Mason (yes I'm talking about: Don...Don Mason) Halloween clip last year instead. Well the good news is that...

Video #1 features the return of the Classic Rowdy Roddy Piper Halloween Tips (from episode #081: October 26, 2007) on this here site for 2015.


(Video by Pitbull3)


Also enjoy Video #2: "They Live? I didn't even know they were sick?": A WCR parody of Hot Rod's movie "They Live" (created by LannysPermJuice)



And speaking of "They Live", The Mike Check Show is currently playing a song from the movie soundtrack.

So now say "Please and Thank Ya"!...or rather from now on:

"Then what you're gonna do is you're gonna have lots of fun and gonna say to each other Happy Halloween and Trick or Treat" - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954 - 2015)


...And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives

Want to make your WWCR experience even MORE random?

Well now you can! Thanks to the newly added "View Random Page" button...wherever it is in the page. It's a very...random placement, you could say.

Just click the large blue button located in the sidebar and be prepared to be taken to ANY random posting or page on the site, no matter how small or nonsensical or nonsensically small it may be! Who knows...you may even enjoy it!

[Disclaimer: WrestleCrapRadio takes no responsibility in the event of any side effects that emerge as a result of random post usage, which may include confusion, baldness, numbness, headache, and halitosis. Randomness is not for everyone. Consult your IP address before use.]



WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #009: At The Feed Market

Relive RD and Blade's joy for "The Boogeyman's" WWE debut with this Minisode, from Wrestlecrap Radio's 9th episode back in 2005, and hear about how he broke a clock over his head and 'stole their hearts'. (Also on this Minisode; A trip to the Grocery/Video Store story, news of Ricky Morton being in jail and Tajri's wife being lonely at home because she couldn't get a drivers' license).

...And speaking of "The Boogeyman making a debut", after we all saw (except for Mike Check's daughter for some possible Ultimate Warrior in a mirror type of reason?) 6 weeks of Boogeyman vignettes on The Mike Check Show; The Boogeyman has finally "come to get" Mike Check today during 2015's edition of "Halloween Hootenanny"!




P.S. But since, sadly, all good things come to an end, hear RD Reynolds singing "Goodbye to the Boogeyman" after his 2009 WWE release here.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

254 Derailed: October 10, 2015

All Aboard The Trainwreck: Please & No Thank ya!
91 minutes

Blade enjoys his Boo Berry. According to him his Roll Up variant makes Boo look like sperm.

That's what she said.

This is the only solace for Blade, as he doesn't feel well, or so he says. That hasn't stopped him co-hosssing of course. The most harm he can do in his condition is to cough into the microphone. The upshot though (if any) is that the medicine gives him an excuse to act pseudo-intoxicated, if any.

RD returns to the subject of (12) Listeners who have no idea about the main (WC) site that gave birth to the radio progrem. So the Duo discuss his latest induction. It's not like he already mentions the site every recording or something. (:05) The talk of masks leads into the Pingkin calling in, (:12) and this time RD remembers to use Satan's voice modifier to make him more Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) this time around. I think he just wanted to call to prove he actually/still exists on the show.

Although my shilling is now timed at 10 seconds long, sadly Blade is too ill and confused to hear it well, poor guy. (:14) This infection spreads to them messing around in The Intestinal Fortitude's new ad copy. RD then shills the Archives some more. Seriously, go buy an entry for it. It's only $15 measly dollars! (Which is better than the measles the Fruitcakes seem to be suffering from at present.)

:19 RD took a TRIP...from lunch during work where he met a(nother) hobo wanting to give him head, and I don't mean Al Snow's companion. Quote his lady doing a reverse Roddy Piper: "Well I hope you said "no thank you"!" Surprisingly this story doesn't help Blade's condition.

Blade had one of those Halloween Whoopers that constipated him and made his poop green. (:27)

RD: "Why did I ever agree to start this show again? I don't know."

Blade found some 20 year old candy bars that he is going to auction to an unwilling audience. (:33) RD has yet to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 

:37 Dave Batista has married for the third time to a "pole dancer" which makes Blade think of horses for some reason. (From what I can tell of her she doesn't seem to have a long face.) He's definitely still pining (like a horse?) for Mickie James. "Obviously I'm a man," he attempts to remind.

Artist's representation
of a poison mushroom
Sad News: Blade's never been married even as he hits 40. Actual Sad News: The Rock's puppy, the one he saved from drowning, didn't cheat death a second time, succumbing to a poison mushroom. (:41)

Rockin' Robin is 51 years young. This summons Blade's (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impression for some reason as an excuse to play her singing again. I hope she invited Brother Hood to her birthday party if she held one. Cue "Bill" mumbling worse than my shill up above. (Note: don't ask me for any (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impressions as I'm terrible at those.) (:45)

Eve Torres had a child named Raeven...pronounced with an H. Please, nevermore with these awkward child names. (:50) RD gongs themselves. The HorseTrolla is still well oiled and functional and tells us that Mickie James is once again attempting to break into the country music scene. (:54)

RD: "You have to be very sick if this show is making you laugh."

:56 "Good" News: Tammy got bailed out of prison. She doesn't like her full name for some reason. May I suggest Raeven?...pronounced with an H. (Or Hammy if you prefer. Or Ham if she still wants the shorter name.) She suppousedly found yet another boyfriend through her camera work - not pornographic of course! - and you know it's true love when he doesn't have to pay for it. Just TALKING about her makes Blade laugh out (sickly) loud, which just about says it all. She's doing haunted houses now. Not visiting them for the sake of her (web-cam) audience mind you; actually being a performer in one of them.

RD: "Wooow! What a deal! So not only do you get to see a WWF Hall Of Famer get killed [in the Haunted House], you get a free 8x10!"

Worried about how the "trainwreck" of a progrem is going, RD jumps tracks to another trainwreck of TNA, now in its death throes. Yes, again.  (:63) Hopefully this time it stays down; even the Black Knight is looking at and shaking his head ruefully (even as King Arthur decapitates him.) As Blade puts it (in line with me commenting on this somewhere), it will not be long until they go the way of the AWA and have turkey on a pole matches in an empty pink arena. Myself, I would just cut out the middle man. Their 'arenas' are already empty and instead of having more disjointed matches the 'lucky' viewer could watch the wrestlers paint the arena in pink - something far more entertaining than whatever on earth TNA is doing or not doing. To quote an excellent page on the Death of TNA, in regards to the recent Bound For Glory:

  • "On September 28, six days before their biggest show of the year, TNA announced the semi-main event for Bound For Glory, Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young, over Twitter." 
  • "People who purchased a VIP ticket to the show were given perks such as a tour of the arena and backstage area from Dixie Carter, and a meal from the catering table. TNA talent were reportedly upset at the "lack of privacy" they had."

Also of rather important note:

  • "The following day TNA made another one of their famous "big announcements". This time the big announcement was that Mahabali Shera, EC3 and Rebel would go to India to make an announcement there. That's right, TNA's big announcement was that there would be a big announcement."

I think Blade may be covertly working for TNA ala Vince Russo.

Blade may be sick but he was a trooper enough to persuade the Honky Tonk Mail Man to call in, you're a beautiful audience thank you very much. However Blade's sickness infects even his line, as he's more hard to hear than usual, even worse than me up there. He catches them up on Mark Hardy/Mardy returning to action after the birth of his gargoyle kid. He has a Dixie Carter commemorative stamp only available until January.

:72 The WFFDQ advises to pick up Tony Romo. Forget the fact that he's currently injured at episode's run time; he's currently performing better than he did when he was healthy. He's a steal!

Oh and in case you were wondering, as of this writing RD and Blade's FF teams are currently in the middle while I'm near the top - but things can always change, as they usually do.

:74 Allan in Milwaukee wants to know why Stephanie will win this year's Ultimate Warrior Award. RD had a bumper crop of sent in questions after last time's begging, so of course out of all of them he chooses this one. Blade wants two fingered referee "The Iron Duke" Jim Mitchell to win it instead.

Blade: "This show is something else."
RD: "That's the most factually accurate statement you ever made."

Blade delays his Big Announcement. (See above re: TNA.)

:77 WWE may release a Scott Hall DVD. I look forward to how they handle his time in WCW.

James Storm, who had been with TNA FROM DAY ONE, has finally escaped his wrestling banishment to debut on NXT. [He would return in January, but fellow veterans AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, and Eric Young took his place instead.] The Fruitcakes calculate how much TNA would be worth based on their donations - around $14 or so, which is still far overpriced. Blade attempts some serious conversation on Kurt Angle and his Moveset. Then he does his impression of Miss Elizabeth mumbling. My guess is Savage locked her in a room again and she's talking through the door.

Seventeen Syllables Of Current Wrestling News we're gonna get right here in seconds/Seventeen Syllables on the most recent Madison Garden Show once the song hits:
The MSG Show.
Yawn. Hehehehehehe
Hehehehehe.

The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore.

RD apologizes profusely for the radio progrem reverting back to its old ways, as if it had never left them at all.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video: The "King Vita Man" Interactive

This is the interactive segment from Wrestlecrap Radio #110 that featured RD and Blade doing commentary on the old "King Vitamin" (or as they call him; "King Pedophile"...which seems like should actually be "Jared's" new nickname) cereal commercials.

Note: We at WCR do NOT actually imply that the old man in this clip is or even portraying a "pedophile", and this is only intended as humor, but I dare you not to laugh when "King Vitamin" (sorry, "Vita Man") making what looks like an "O face" at the 3:58 minute mark! :)

So speaking of "old creeps" (just kidding)...Lord Alfred, if you please:






(Video by Greg Diener)

...And to Mike Check, (*sigh*) King Diamond and King Vita Man are NOT the same guy!

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

WCR Video: RD and Blade's Trip...To The Library

Since Blade once again reminisced, on the latest Wrestlecrap Radio episode #253, about the time he told his old "Trip...To The Library" story, here's:

RD Reynolds' "Trip...To The Library" story, from WCR episode #3, where he listened to Steve Austin and (unfortunately NOT "Angry") Jim Ross boringly read "The Stone Cold Truth" on Audiobook:



...And Blade Braxton's "Trip...To The Library" story, from WCR episode #160, where he recounts his harrowing encounter with a child molester at his local library's restroom:



(Both videos by BoondyAlBoondy)


And be sure to visit here (not the library) for the WCR Video archives

253 The O Show: September 20, 2015

Ooooooooohhhhhhh!
60 minutes

RD enjoys watching a lot of Prime Time Wrestling, the only place where Mr. X could win a match and be taken seriously, according to Blade. As expected WWE is doing a terrible job of showing episodes so RD has to watch them himself.

Blade wanted Heenan to cross dress like Ms. Elizabeth. Does that make Monsoon Savage (the Monsoon Man) and try to keep Heenan locked away in their never ending feud?

Unlike Blade, RD is "not familiar with Mean Gene Okerlund's O Face" (his climax sound to be sure) so Blade has to (repeatedly) audibly demonstrate for him. (:07) Save that for the Coliseum Video theme before you prematurely ejaculate, pal. (...Which they do, actually.)

For a change my shilling this time is shorter, but alas I realize too late I forgot the URL. Not that it's important for a website or anything like that. Then again, if you didn't know it dear reader (all one of you) you wouldn't be here reading this either. To his credit RD repeats it a few times to make it hit the magic 30 second mark, which makes it sound like I've climaxed multiple times like Mean Gene earlier. (:12) In response The Intestinal Fortitude has its own new ad copy. Sadly RD does not do his Jeff Foxworthy...this time.

Blade remembers the first time RD went on a TRIP...to the Library all those summers ago. (:17) Reminder: Blade also went to the Library too (where he met a candy wielding child molester).

RD forgot a third snack from the Netherlands: Tijgernootjes. They look like bacon cheese infused corn covered peanuts (to him; to me they look like rather small scrotum - they really need better packaging over there) and taste rather good, although he can't put down why exactly the taste is so familiar. Thankfully he does not make an O Face while savoring them.

:24 SPEAKING OF corn Blade remembers when Paul Ellering almost lost an eye. Ah, those were happier and simpler times indeed, no? His daughter Rachel is training in WWCR friend and fine young egg Lance Storm's wrestling school in Calgary...







...Alberta, Canada. (Sorry, it was just my turn to make that joke and I couldn't just pass it up.) RD has been trying to get him on their show again in the past year and a half.

Savio Vega is finally getting his due and appearing in WWE 2K16. (:26) Sad News brought to you by Nintendo John (on the Nintendo): the game is not being ported to the (Nintendo) Wii U or the (Nintendo) 3DS (both old (Nintendo) 3DS and new New (Nintendo) 3DS - or was that new (Nintendo) New 3DS? I always get that mixed up). Anyway Nintendo John confuses RD more than Nintendo's current corporate strategy...on the Nintendo. (Insert Nintendo John's audience cheering here.)

The Rock is pregnant. Well, his lady is. Thankfully the Duo get through without talking about any prospective Junior remake (to be made by WWE Films as a favor to a Hall Of Famer no doubt). (:37) RD and I remember Johnson was married before, and I believe that (thankfully) they still seem to be on good terms as they co-own his production company. Sad News: I don't believe her married family name was Rock like Blade thinks it was.

Much like how Blade's random Iron Mark Tyson impersonation gave life to his later character, RD uses his high pitched Football Fan voice from last episode (The WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen as he terms her) to 'advise' fantasy football players to use Packers WR Jordy Nelson. (:40) Blade is reduced to speechless laughter. I'm speechless too - Jordy Nelson has been on Injured Reserve since the start of the season and would be as effective in your team as I would be if I suddenly became QB. To be fair I would probably do better than whoever is currently doing that in Jacksonville.

(I am also left wondering if she and Popeye will start double calling into the show from now on. *Shudder*)

RD is in turn rendered speechless by the courts issuing Tammy a warrant for her arrest for failing to attend a court hearing for her (recent?) DUI. Oh Emperor. (:43)

Mike Cantalano thinks WWCR is Facebook Support for some reason. (:47) RD begs for better Questions like he's on a charity fundraise drive. Didn't they raise the idea of doing that one time? (I have to find what episode that was though.)

:50 TNA might be dead. For real this time. No mostly dead or half dead or being stone dead in a minute. Also, you know a promotion is bad when an average house show is more surreal than a Monty Python sketch. I'm shocked we haven't got a gimmick of someone Silly Walking in the ring yet. They still have time until the end of the year though, so it's not too late!

Sting is still wrestling at 56 years old. (:56) As much as I respect them both greatly as true wrestling legends...I don't want Sting to become another Ric Flair. We don't need ANOTHER wrestler who walks around losing his pants faster than Walter White. Although now I want to see Bryan Cranston guest host RAW (sponsored by the fine folks at Los Pollos Hermanos) in one of his contamination suits, clothesline Vince, then take off the head piece to show he's been wearing his Heisenberg Hat all this time. License to print money...which he will then store in a barrel that he buries in the New Mexico desert.

RD: "This is his chance to win the WWE title along with all those WCW titles. In other words, it's his chance to butter his bread at both tables."
Blade: "Oh, you're right Jim."

Then they laugh out loud.

Seventeen Syllables Easily Digestible:
Sting and John Cena.
Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
-itude Adjustments.



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video: RD and Blade On Angry Marks and Russo's Podcasts

The Thursday Night AMP Podcast, on Angrymarks.com, were joined on August 6, 2015 by RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton, of WrestleCrap.com, for a special interview to reminisce about the life and times of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. The Full Podcast can be also downloaded here.


(Video Title: Memories of Roddy Piper w/ RD Reynolds & Blade Braxton by AngryMarks.com)


RD Reynolds (without Blade) also made a 2nd (and less disastrous) appearance on Vince Russo's Podcast: "The Swerve" on The Relm Network, to talk about his "Death Of WCW: 10th Anniversary" book and TNA's current problems. The video podcast can be seen in full at Vincerussobrand.com.


(Video Title: The Swerve (Preview): RD Reynolds Part 2 by Vince Russo)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives! 

And now, a word from our 'sponsor'


The following is a Public Service Announcement from -


Angry Jim, ya sons-of-bi...scolded dawgs! (You can't pay me enough to curse!)

How ya doin' tonight nerds?!...Agh! Who am I kiddin'?!, It's only 12 listeners as far as I know, and some of ya ain't even left yer mamma's basement yet!

Anyway, my name is Angry Jim! Ya'll know me from my time on WCW and WWE, Oklahoma Sooners, and the maker of the world's finest barbeque sauces known ta man! But more recently, I'm stuck pirate callin' some fu...HOARABIL rasslin' radio show hosted by two dic...guys who don't know which way the sun rises each mornin', as well as sometimes writin' for a site that's run by a group of jacka...I mean...jokers! AND they haven't even paid me for my time yet, despite repeated requests from me to do so?! I mean, I coulda asked them to pay for what I did cause it ain't come cheap! Lawd knows I need the money instead of thes' freeloaders taking others' hard earned livin' and usin' them to make HORABIL dick jokes about -

Premier Blah: [off 'camera', exasperated] Jim, can we please just get on with this? Wasn't it you who requested this post space in the first place?

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm gettin' to that part, can't you just hold ya horses!? *Sigh*. Godda...darn kids these days! What's wrong with 'em? Bunch of nancy pansy luvin' -

Premier: AHEM.

Alright already, will ya just shuv it?!

Anyway, a year ago - GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, a year?! I don't think Hollywood John even lasted that long and he couldn't even pull his head out of his aahh...er...butt?! Anyway, a year ago, the site's old domain wrestlecrapradio.com expired like an old bottle of stale barbeque sauce due to tha site's owners bein' complete shi...doodooheads and not payin' attention to what they're doin'! Heh, kinda like WCW's last days when that coc...chicken plucker; Ed Ferrara was runnin' around pretendin' ta be me!

And speaking of Ed Ferrara, I wish it was that no good hillbilly instead of this...Japanese man or whoever it was who has th' ba...brains to call himself my cousin...Prime Minister Blah, or whatever the flop your name is?!

Premier: Premier Blah. I've told you like ten times already. Didn't whoever you're working with now gave you my credentials?

Ah, shove it, Primer Bra, it's you and my cousin, that soy sauce eatin', sumo wrestlin', robot fu...makin' Jimmycheese Rossini? Gawd darn-it I can't even spell his name right. Don't they have good ol' ENGLISH up where he comes from like any good ol' boy country has like -

Premier: Jimichiro Rosshu. That was his name.

Yeah yeah whatever. You think I care?

So he buys tha domain to make us all gawd darn-it mad! And what does he do? He posts about HIS sexual performance. That's MY gimmick gawd darn-it!

Premier: He did. RVM even managed to grab a hold of him to ask him about it. You even called to vent against him as far as I can remember, Jim. Still I didn't know he had marital problems too. Is that a family thing?

Ah shove it up your fluffer Bra!

Anyway my cousin is more of an idiot than even you, RD, or Blade, and you barely have enough ba...brain cells to share among ya. HE lets his site expire too like a di...dam.

Premier: Which is when I decided to try my luck again and see if I could get it back. I had Clarence spend...a couple of hours on it, as the whole thing was easier and quicker than either of us expected. I mean, if I had known it would be THIS easy I'd have done it far earlier.

That's what you get for being a lazy son of a -

Premier: [ignoring Jim] So the old .com domain name is hopefully back for good this time. Both that and the .blogspot.com URLs should hopefully lead to the same place, inconsistencies here and there notwithstanding of course.

I WAS a bit surprised when Jim offered to help get it back and even paid a bit to reclaim the url though. It was very...uncharacteristic of him. I mean, you go on and on about not getting paid by me, RD, or Blade for your trouble and yet you do this almost charitable thing, if only to stroke your ego somewhat at the same time too?

Ah I didn't do it for you ya coc...cockerel! I wanted ta prove to ma no good cousin that no matter how many crappy robots he makes or monsters he creates or whatever they do sitting on their as...butts over there in Japan, that no matter what he does we Yankees will always put them in their place. Just like when we won WW2 and bombed Hir-




Premier: Sorry for interrupting your Oscar speech Jim, but I have to take this. ... Hello?

Jimichiro Rosshu: AAAGGGGHHH! Premier Blah-san! You bring dishonor and great shame to Jimichiro for hack-destroy Jimichiro Rosshu website Resucrapuadio!  I -

Yeah yeah yeah, Agh, go -


Premier: No, let me take it from here Jim. Jimichiro your company bought our domain name and all you did with it for the year that you had it was write three articles about not having sex with your wife?...Really? Nothing more than that? Like writing about -

Writin' about stir-frying or sex robots or sumo tag team championships or whatever you people do there for fun?

Premier: ... what he said to some extent. Without all those random stereotypes he just threw out of course.

Jimichiro Rosshu: AAAGGGGHHH! None of business what I write! I suffer dishonor and shame for this and become demotion from one of 40 assistant manager to one of 80 assistant assistant manger at Fukya Selfu Robotics! Now Jimichiro wish to restore honor by choppy choppy Blah-san and redneck Jim-san pee-pee!

Go fluff yourself! You're not cuttin' off ma penis you son of a -


Premier: ... Guys, Guys, there's a much better way to settle this. Quickly, get Clarence Mason on the phone!

Jimichiro Rosshu: You want sue Jimichiro Blah-san!? I get "Ace Attorney" Naruhodou-san to sue you! And then I kicka your (*phone cuts out*)

Aaaaah go Fukushima yourself ya piece of shii...take! You and your 80 assistant to the assistant to the assistant of whoever stir-fries your sushi in that company of yours! Let me tell you somethin', there may be 80 of you cooks but only one of me! And I have an 80 year old cripple, Bob Caudle, as my cooking assistant!

Premier: Sigh...

And you Bra! When will YOU pay me for doing you a favor ya coc...cockarel? Darn it, do I have to get John Thomas on th' phone to get my money's worth?




Premier: Oh boy...Blah here. Mr. Thomas I presume?

Heyyy, er, this is Iron Mark Tyson... Er, I just heard we're at war with the Japanese again?...So, er, you know...how will this affect my flight to Tokyo next week?







Premier: I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning...




The preceding Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by...

JR's Dark Journey Mahogany Barbeque Sauce! Try some today, and you'll be loving every minute of it. Includes a free pair of Dark Journey Head Scissors! 






[To Be Continued...]


252 Summer's RDeve: September 10, 2015

#252: The one where RD eats p..."Cats"
78 minutes

Matt Hardy boxing Evander Holyfield made Blade morbidly think back on when he used to watch boxing in the dark days of the 90s when about half the wrestlers had boxing gimmicks. RD remembers when Michael Buffer was in WCW mispronouncing names.

As this is the third episode (so far) Blade thinks the listeners will get laid without having to purchase a Global Internet URL. (:06)

RD does his Drag Queen Football Fan impersonation for some reason.

RD & Blade discuss their annual WC Football League and how good their drafts were. (:08) To give an idea of things and since I'm in the League as well (as the Pingkins led by their mascot, the fighting Blue Badger!), the League autodrafted for me (since I completely forgot the draft time), then gave me the best draft grade for my 'trouble'.

WWCR is now also on Stitcher. Somewhere anyway. I'm too lazy to download the application for it.

While my ludicrous speed ad copy is good for a laugh or two I did at the last second send a bit of a slower one to the duo for them to judge upon which version they prefer. (:13) Sadly the newer version confuses Blade even more. RD has some fun with us by mixing things up so I guess that's yet another victory. I'm feeling lucky too. And I didn't even have to get laid for it!

That does give me an idea though. ROTATIONAL ad copy from my end - every progrem I say something different in an attempt to get Blade to laugh. Like I'm a stand up comedian or something professional like that.

:19 RD went back to the Netherlands for his work and brought back some snacks with him. Knabbels taste like generic salty snacks/Funyuns. Naturel Cats are not made from cats as illustrated (that would be Frosties), but they don't really taste good either. (You sure it's not ACTUAL cat food pal?) While there a coworker thought he was over half a century (of summers) old.

RD missed Force Friday, but it was no big deal as that thing was more of a bust than the prequels (Too late?!?!?!). (:31) Blade is inspired to do a Consensual Saturday and sell some of his old junk rather than give it away in response to Question Of The Weeks. He did see a Victoria as Leia shirt though. His attempts to be cleaner surprise RD (and even me to some extent).

Dwayne Johnson amazes RD by relegating himself to Obscure Wrestling News. (:38) He also amazes by rescuing his drowning puppy. The Duo think he was at a nudist colony. Also they're fully clothed. Remember the early days when Blade had no pants? 

Tammy's in the 'news' again. RD: "From one female dog to another!" (:44) Sad News: she's been blocked from her FB account for some reason. Sadder News: her fish's eyeball is acting up. Saddest News: she wants to do voyeurism full time. Worst News: RD wonders if she could sponsor their show, preferably at the end after the outro after everyone has left and no one is listening.

:53 As I suspected over five years ago, (and because literally one Listener asked about him) Patrick Stewart comes back from the "dead" to pester Blade with DRA. MATIC. ACT-ING. Isn't that Shatner's thing though? He makes Blade laugh with ad copy for the Austin Aries Acadian. Then he leaves. Now.

Wait, does that mean he did his duties reporting on TNA news?

Ed "Han" Salo returns with a Question. (5) (:58) Should Young MC change his old song's lyrics referring to Jimmy Snuka? His prize is some bad word replacement.

Blade's Big Announcement is that he's delayed his Big Announcement. But of course. (:62) He once worked with (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera's daughter. That's not the Big Announcement.

John Laurinitis is engaged to the Bella Twins' mother, making him the hopeful father in law to Daniel Bryan and his old 'nemesis' John Cena. True story: you know a guy has charisma when my spell checker wants to correct his name to Laryngitis.

Iron Mark surprises RD making him cough. Then Blade laughs and ruins the mood. RD: "He blew away like a balloon". (:67)

Hillbilly Jim last main evented a PPV 27 years ago.

Sting has yet to win a match in WWE.

A Seventeen Syllable Story Perhaps:
Sting vs. Rollins.
Will Sting's match beat oh and six-
teen Lions' record?



$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 14: More Than Words (Ambreigns AU)

More Than Words (Ambreigns AU)
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken

Roman Reigns's favorite day of the week was Thursday.

It was a good business day for Java Central because the little coffeehouse featured an open mic night the first and third Thursday of each month, gaining the cozy shop great business from enthusiastic hipsters and aspiring musicians on top of the multitude of college students the establishment tended to on a daily basis. He loved open mic night. Some of the performances were painful to endure, and others weren't too shabby. But one specific performer-slash-customer always managed to snag his attention during his two or three minutes on the makeshift stage, perched on a barstool, acoustic guitar slung over his shoulder. Roman didn't even know why. Something about him was just so…so…he couldn't even find the right word to describe it. Beautiful is the one he'd choose if it didn't sound so lame. Make him sound so pathetic.

But Roman liked him. Loved concentrating on the reticent soloist and his simple yet dexterous musical abilities.

Roman had a textbook open underneath the counter as he dragged a damp washcloth over the tile surface, trying to study and clean up before the evening post-work/post-class rush and open mic night kicked off. Microbiology was tedious but certainly not grueling. He hadn't realized he'd been wiping the same spot of the counter over and over again until he heard someone clear their throat. He lifted his head and met eyes with his roommate Randy.

"Hey, what time are you off?"

"I'm closing." Closing shifts kept him here until at least one in the morning on a guaranteed lively evening such as the one pending.

"'Kay. Just letting you know, I've got a double date with the Bella twins tonight."

"Which one do you get?"

"Both of them. I get two helpings." Randy grinned deviously. Roman pretended to be proud of his manwhoreish ways. He held out a fist in feigned consent and praise, and Randy bumped it with his own. Roman couldn't imagine what Randy would have thought if he knew Roman had what felt an awful lot like a crush on some guy he didn't know.

"Score."

"So yeah. Fair warning if you wander in at any point tonight. Might be a little noisy."

Ugh. Roman wondered if he had anywhere else to crash tonight. He totally wanted to respect Randy's privacy with Nikki and Brie Bella by staying far away from that apartment. "Thanks for the heads-up. Anything else you want while you're here?"

Randy's big brown eyes scanned the handwritten menu on the wall above Roman's head. "Yeah, go ahead and get me a Mt. Vesuvius Panini. Extra meatballs."

In the five minutes it took to prepare Randy's Panini, more customers surged into the little coffeehouse.

Roman bagged Randy's order to go. Randy snatched the bag and gave Roman a wink. 
"See you later, then? Maybe?"

"Maybe." 

The End.

WCR Video: Blade Braxton Is The Littlest Hobo

Since we usually like to cross-promote WCR Videos with The Mike Check Show. Check out the Littlest Hobo theme song; "Maybe Tomorrow" on The MACKER! And then watch the show's opening titles, featuring WCR's "Braxton" in the leading role, right here on THE WHACKER!



(Video by LannysPermJuice)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

251 Like The Sandwich: August 30, 2015

Unlike ODB's new sauces; This show
won't "make you love it all the way".
79 minutes

RD is still angered WWE ruined Prime Time Wrestling by adding a live studio audience. Blade can only remember when Miss Elizabeth was on the show.

The Fruitcakes are confused by people wrongly saying the word Gif from its 100 year old creator and his weird looking groin. (:04)

Blade threatens more episodes of the wrestling progrem.

RD mentions more about his Skyline Arcade. I really have to go and visit it now. The Midnight Rose hosted a horror movie show because we all know how great Tony Montana was as a slasher movie villain.

RD needs more sponsors for Lord Alfred to announce and fill the whole progrem. Thankfully my chipmunk voice makes Blade laugh which I consider a win! I really need to take RD's advice and slow down though...but I love my fast voice so much! It makes me feel like I'm driving down my hometown highway in a custom made Bugatti, the official activity of all locals here. (:12) More fine shilling of this here website makes Blade yawn.

The progrem is also sponsored by The Intestinal Fortitude. RD reads their ad copy though sadly not as fast as I. (:16) Blade ignores the crickets.

:18 RD was once forbidden to go grocery shopping because he would just buy random unnecessary stuff like any good shopper would.

Blade: "Kids eat poop."





Anyway RD has SUPER FRUIT Starburst which seems an oxymoron in and of itself. After remembering ravioli (thankfully not super fruit flavored) and something about Pearl Harbor (not being discussed by Bryan & Dave) RD tries the Blueberry Acai which looks like clay but tastes average like the Strawberry Starfruit. The Pomegranate Passionfruit is the worst of the bunch.

:30 Blade does his Reuben-Like-The-Sandwich impression. He sounds an awful lot like Stubby. What is even stranger is that unlike most impersonations and parodies on the show Reuben is an actual person. Sure, Blade may have done a Don impression here and there but at least it was just that and not a full fledged calling character, and of course Don himself would later appear on the show...like last time in fact. Maybe Reuben is more harder to find as he's been stuck in his car he's still been paying for.

Meanwhile Blade as Reuben-Like-The-Sandwich tries Lay's New York Reuben chips (like the sandwich) prompting RD to gong himself. They don't taste like the sandwich sadly. Or like Reuben for that matter. Blade himself likes them though.

:34 Last seen trying to fund raise bus money, Virgil is claiming that Xavier Woods is his son. Surprisingly this is not winning people to his side, not unless he is taking life lessons from Mike Check and his Virility Tour of the highways and byways of the world.

RD: "Speaking of rustle mmm ma mmm."

ODB has a new BBQ sauce (sadly not named Old Dirty Barbeque), much to Jim's chagrin. (:38) And his bad memory too - didn't he say last time he wasn't going to appear on the progrem until he got paid/booked?

Jim: "You put the I in Itinerary don't ya?"

He then reads the BBQ sauce blurb and takes offense to its rowdiness unlike his sauce which is all consensual. I think it depends how you use the bottle really. "Go flop yourself!" he farewells.

:45 Talking about Tammy makes RD cry and a little daemon get its wings. She made a joke that would fit into the WCR itinerary assuming she can afford a paper plate. She's also shilling some other random thing or other. (Because all serious websites have a .us domain, let alone be part of another meta site.)

Blade postpones his Big Announcement. Shocking I know. RD thinks it's his old Carnival idea.

:51 Sir Alec has been feeding Ellie like a pet at the local Long John Silver's buffet. I wonder if they use any BBQ sauces. For eating OR douching. RD has to explain Sir Alec to potentially new listeners despite him having appeared on the interim RD & Blade Show a couple of times before as far as I can remember, before he entertains with a Roman Reigns story, which hinges on it being a Thursday and "has a lot of big words" that tongue tie Blade - I mean Sir Alec - and has RD rolling on the chair laughing.


SPEAKING OF weekdays...


Sir Alec: "Oh boy. I got myself Deal. Never become smarter than yourself. That's kinda how the Terminator happened."

:62 Peter (not Gazer) has the Question Of The Week wondering how the duo managed to snag Lord Alfred. RD answers with a food analogy but instead of sending him his bread or Starburst he searches around his office for a WWE napkin, Scott Steiner's workout DVD, or a Memphis Heat DVD while Blade "entertains" the people. Blade is also to auction off another itinerary paper plate that he will again lose money on selling before the recipient sells THAT off.

Blade finally has the WWE Network like RD. He uses it to watch Miss Elizabeth matches. (:67)

In response to the disaster that is this "Divas Revolution" (something bad involving the Divas? Get out!) the duo respond with radio silence. RD predicts it will win this year's Gooker.

Greg "The Hammer" Valentine is not officially on Twitter. This is a shame as I'm sure his current trolling remarks on said Divas and lady wrestlers in general would make him the biggest online hit since the Iron Sheik, though unlike the Humble Maker he would actually write his own Tweets. (:73)

Seventeen Easily Digestible Syllables:
Hammer hates women.
What could help? Bellas using
The Hammer Jammer.



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