Rest In Peace Harry Simon

As RD put it on his site in turn, Blade said it best:

Very sad news to report and I’m still stunned. I just learned of the passing of one of the longtime members of the WrestleCrap family, Harry Simon. For the longtime WrestleCrap Radio listeners, Harry portrayed the role of my longtime rival on the show, the notorious bill collector, John Thomas. Harry’s incredible humor cannot be understated in regards to just how much he meant to our show/listeners in the early days of WCR, as well as the written material he provided for the website. I remember us chatting a while back about how much fun we had doing the old WrestleMania 2 induction, which is where this image is taken from.
Just a great, great guy and a good pal. He will be forever missed. Rest in peace, buddy.

Harry had been one of the WC fellows for a very long time, and his range and scope which were tremendously large spread over to WCR. Although he voiced many random 'guests' on the progrem, his trademark was as the (in)famous John Thomas of Chase Meridian Mastercharge, frequently hounding Mr. Blade Brakestown for his huge credit card bills, going all the way back to 2006. (He was also Lee Marshall on that episode.)

A good and talented man, he will be sorely missed by all, especially on this particularly sad and tragic day. Our thoughts and condolences go out to his family and loved ones.

WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 15: A Jedi for Christmas

A Jedi for Christmas
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken

Padmé glanced outside the windows of her home on Naboo. It was Christmas Eve and snow was falling thick and heavy across the ground. She was all alone in the house except for her two small five year old children. Her rambunctious children were chasing each other with boundless energy. They were excited that tomorrow they could open the presents under the tree that had captured their attention over the last few days.

Both Luke and Leia had spent hours trying to guess what was inside the presents and on a number of occasions Padmé had been forced to scold them for their attempts to peel the colorful paper from the boxes. She even threatened Luke that she would return his gifts if he kept up his bad behavior. Padmé was not sure how she survived the last few days with her two children, some days they acted just like their father.

This thought upset Padmé as she watched her small children run around the house. They were all she had this Christmas. She loved her children dearly, but she felt a void with the absence from the person who should be standing by her side right now.

Knowing she was working herself up, Padmé decided to distract herself from her musings. "Luke, Leia, bed!" Padmé called out over their gleeful shouts while she locked the doors to the house. She always feared for her little ones safety, but after all she had been through, one couldn't blame her. She cast a glance out the window once more; drawing her eyes up at the clouds and gave a sad sigh of longing for something she knew she couldn't have.

"But Mommy, it's Christmas!" Luke whined. "Can't we stay up just this once?"

"We're not tired." Leia added, shaking her head so her long brown hair tangled in a tousled mess.

Padmé tore her eyes away from the sky and turned back to her small children. Her sadness must have shown on her face for both her children showed equal looks of concern as they both said, "Mommy, are you all right?"

Padmé's mood lifted at the sight of her young children and her frown dissolved into a soft smile. "I'm fine my little ones, but it is time for you two to go to bed!"

"But Mommy!" Luke and Leia both whined, jutting their bottom lips into identical pouts.

"No!" Padmé stated firmly, then pointing over her twins' heads she said. "No arguments. It is time for bed. Get going, I'll tuck you in."

Both Luke and Leia grumbled, but they knew better than to argue with their mother. However, they made their displeasure known as they sulkily walked towards their rooms.

"Just like your father." Padmé whispered to herself, shaking her head with amusement.


257 The Star Wars Holiday Special: December 23, 2015

"Boring conversation anyway!"
80 minutes

RD warns they won't be talking much about wrestling, as is their usual.

"If you're coming here, if you're coming to our Christmas show, and you're expecting in-depth analysis of professional wrestling, I'm afraid my friends you may be disappointed."

That should be their beginning disclaimer on every show, not just this one.

Blade tells about the time he became drunk Darth Vader the one time he saw Twisted Sister. Though that was more about him having trouble breathing (while taking a Force piss) rather than killing some younglings through some bad acting.

RD plays a randomly found old recording of the time they and some of the submitting Listeners randomly sang Jingle Bells. (:05) "We used to be funny," he admits.

The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes are no longer in contention for the WCFFL (myself having defeated Blade to get into contending for the Fralic Trophy, a first for me! Wish me luck.) so their football expert calls to pout about his tactics. This makes RD laugh. (:08)

RD is nostalgic for the first time I confused him with my submitted ad copy. I admit I am too. Those sure were simpler times! Blade is confused by the multiple URLs that are in play. [Edit by R.V.M Kai: RD may have also given us our new tag-line: " A fantastic website! It's almost as good as!"] (:12)

I also sent the Duo a present or so for the season...if you consider the timely ZZ Top's Eliminator a gift like I do. (:15) Blade promises to deliver on his Big Announcement that he first mentioned about in...2007.

The Duo also got a gift from "The Grocery". Not Ray Stevens? (:18) They are Little Debbie's North Pole Nutty Bars. They're smaller than regular Nutty Bars yet still taste the same. Sounds like a rip-off if you ask me.

RD remembers Stevie J's Horray For Khali Claus. (:23)

Fascinating Christmas
there, RJ & Brad.
Speaking of being as old as Khali/Santa Claus, Mike Check calls in. (:25) He actually had his own radio station once: NPOL North Pole 98. The N is for the Northern region you see. Basing things on a bad James Bond movie (Die Another Day, not Spectre) he became Frosty Largerod and lived in an igloo for three months. For a change he plays RD's other beloved Jillian Hall's "Freddy Krueger impression".

:33 The Midnight Rose was in some NES-based wrestling game competition. Blade mixes himself and the Rose up, as is his usual. He blames his controller for his bad performance.

RD was asked by Trash Losagain to manage him one last time in the ring. He remembers the last time he did so over 10 or so years ago, when the Big Show beat him up.

Carl Zayas (2) is concerned about their Star Wars debate from last time. They do however both agree that Episode VII: The Force Awakens was pretty good. RD enjoyed Han Solo redeeming himself from Return Of The Jedi. Blade thinks ROTJ Han was based on RD retroactively somehow.

This brings Sir Alec for some reason. Which makes Blade laugh for some reason. (:41) He has a Star Wars Christmas themed fanfiction piece which sadly does not include that other Sir Alec.

RD remembers Piper at Christmas. (:49)

Jim is down as usual (:51) partly due to him not getting into the ZZ Top action by getting their CD. He also wants to talk about Star Wars for some reason. His spoilers news sources are all wrong, especially about barbecuing, which makes him leave randomly, as is more and more his fashion (Confused Jim perhaps?). And without even verbally flipping them off too! "Go Force yourself!" RD fills in for him.

:57 The Duo get down to some more Star Wars discussion. Only right here *slam* on WrestleCrap Radio!

RD remembered how he was spoiled on The Empire Strikes Back and ROTJ so he tried and succeeded to avoid anything for TFA (a tactic that I also did with equal success). Knowing where things led anyway he was still reflectively sad on what transpired with (TFA) Han. "Not every story has a happy ending," he reminds Blade. Blade is in turn reminded of how RD would fit perfectly in the Star Wars universe with his travails and events and things.

Blade went as Bossk with RD's gift mask and got into conflict with the police there. Wow, who could see that coming? RD & son went with their outfits and had no trouble. Blade thinks he should have gone as dying Darth Vader in ROTJ. "Think of the children!" he says.

RD reminds people who thought TFA was too similar to A New Hope that just because they thought so doesn't mean others who are younger and may not have seen the films before would think the same or not like it, which is a valid point. "Or you might wind up having your favorite character be Jedi Han Solo, that would be a tragedy!" At least he fares better than Blade's Bossk, who just sat around while Luke & Leia broke out Jedi Han/RD from Jabba the Hutt.

Blade then mumbles randomly about how the Ewoks were hidden until release and were thus shown as 'ugly Star Trek style aliens' as black blobs with hair. Someone should follow up on this.

:72 Fellow colleague Jordan Mishkin sent RD a vintage wrestling shirt. Blade received a Pabst Blue Ribbon flask and a Carbonite Han Solo popcorn bucket with a hand puppet of that ESB asteroid monster (Space Slug) from RD. In turn he sent him an Attack Of The Clones shirt, hopefully without sand in it.

Here We Go:
Han Solo is dead.
What did this make me feel like?
Lumpy in my throat.

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • Christmas
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4.,,, Long John Silvers
  • URLs not taken: 2.,
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Sponsors, sentient beings, getting back in the wrestling ring
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 5. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, The Great Khali, Mike Check, Sir Alec Heineken, Jim
  • Blade Time Outs: 3 (1 Real Quick)
  • Blade Burps: 1
  • Robot Reindeer Laughs:  2

  • Mike Check Radio Row: 
    • Station/Market:  NPOL North Pole 98 FM (North Pole)
    • Radio Call Sign:  Frosty Large Rod
    • Show:  N/A
    • Song:  Santa Baby by Jillian Hall
  • Question of the Week from: Carl Zayas (2)
    • After hearing the back and forth between you and Blade, I was wondering, are you both okay?  I got worried. I haven’t heard a heated exchange between two people since me and my buddy almost engaged in fisticuffs in an argument about Wookies versus Gungans. I guess my question, is this normal? Yes.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade hates the new Star Wars:
    Han Solo is dead.
    What did this make me feel like?
    Lumpy in my throat.

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #047: A HorseTrolla Xmas

Since Mike Check is playing "Santa Claus Is A Black Man" by Akim and Teddy Vann; this Minisode contains the story (from Wrestlecrap Radio's 2006 Christmas episode #047) about how a young RD Reynolds discovered the shocking "truth" about Santa Claus. While visiting Santa at the mall as a child, like lot of us, he was expecting to meet a bearded, old, overweight Caucasian male. But seeing an African American man in a Santa suit sort of changed his perspective on things.

Also included in this Minisode:
  • Custom Cornhole Games all over Indiana
  • Lupita
  • Little Debbie Xmas Trees were gone.
  • RD receives the HorseTrolla
  • Francine un-retired.
  • Dr. Keith sent a magazine.
  • Blade and RD exchange gifts.

(by WCR Minisodes)

...And Merry Christmas from all of us at!

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

WCR Video: Interactive: (Furthest Thing To) Perfect

On Episode #256 of Wrestlecrap Radio, RD and Blade brought back one of my (R.V.M Kai) favourite segments; the Interactives. For those not familiar, it was basically a segment where the Co-Fruitcakes play a clip from YouTube and provide their hilarious brand of commentary to it. Well after mentioning the name of an independent pro-wrestler "Tommy Lee Curtis", from, who's ring-name is the "closest thing to" Jamie Lee Curtis, they wondered if he was related to the actress and can legally call himself "Mr. Perfect"? This then reminds them of some forgotten movie from the 1980's called "Perfect" (starring JLC and John Trovolta) and the song (Closest Thing To) Perfect by Jermaine (we couldn't afford Michael) Jackson, from it's soundtrack.

Anywho, I created and uploaded the video to complement their commentary track of the aforementioned music video...which is the "Furthest Thing To Perfect", let me tell you:

(Video by R.V.M Kai)

Unfortunately, you will not be able to find this song yet on The Mike Check Show due to his annual "Christmas Carousal" now playing during the month of December. But stay tuned.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

256 Kitty Little: November 28, 2015

"Just buy some damn tubs!”
89 minutes

RD has seen just about all the old Christmas movies so he is forced to watch newer (and worse) ones; one of which is so bad he will be writing about it next week (after having subjected his wife to it too). Sadly it is not that “naked” Dusty Rhodes Christmas movie that was (to be) released in a January.

Blade makes his “joke of the week”. (:05)

Blade's Royals have won the World Series after 30 years and the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau after 24 years. He recorded them on VHS (:07) Meanwhile Payton Manning is not growing younger and Andrew Luck is getting more injured. RD does his "David Carr rant".

Oddly enough at no point does their football expert call in to give 'advice'. I guess it's because no one unique of note was injured this week. I say unique because Tony Romo was injured. Yes, again. Poor guy can't catch a break (or throw one for that matter). I just hope he doesn't get traded to the Jets.

According to yours truly WWCR is six (freaking) hours long and has scales. Like a fish? And it gets played twice. So 12 hours long then? (:12)

RD surprises himself by not listening to the ad copy beforehand as if to avoid spoilers. Blade remembers he was looking for a Co Hosss “coach” from the earlier/interim Show. Yes, what a surprise he didn't follow up on that. Or his Big Announcement. Truly it is such a shock.

Also he can't count.

Also WC is still sponsoring itself. (:16) Their Black Friday Sale includes a discounted Archives at $12.95. That's like $2 off if I can't count either. They also have those Amazon links that give them some money when used to buy stuff. Like the new Death Of WCW, available in physical and Kindle format!

:20 The Festive TRIP to Black Friday music is loud on RD's side, but for some reason Blade says he can't hear it.

The duo have been on so many Black Fridays Blade needs a list to keep track of them. Well, SPEAKING OF lists, I wonder which reference site has a easy to search list of all their Black Friday outings...

RD went to Meijer's where he was confused by how much kitty litter was being bought by so many people. This included a family of five prematurely aging rednecks discussing it, their “stupid” mother wondering why it's not spelled “little” and the father quoting: “honey, it's so much cheaper than that *bleep* you buy! Just buy some damn tubs!”

Yes, the man probably censored himself too as he spoke on the day.

:36 Like Tammy, Dawn Marie has some strange name rules. One of her names of Dawny sounds like washing detergent. Blade cheers RD's joke of Dawny Marie like one of their audiences.

The pantsless Brother Midnight will return to the ring on Dec 4th at CWE's Rumble to Remember. (:41) Blade thinks one of their talent, named Tommy Lee Curtis, has the gimmick of being Jamie Lee’s sister which is so bad that even RD laughs at it, and he should know since he is the master of bad gimmicks. They then watch Jermaine Jackson (back when he had longer hair) sing the theme song from Perfect, a movie Jamie Lee was in which according to Blade could make Tommy Lee “Mr. Perfect”. (:46)

And yes, John Travolta is her love interest.

Coincidentally this was also Travolta's reaction when he heard that.

According to Melina, her long term boyfriend John Morrison takes Cialis. (:51) Is he also one of those guys in their advertisements sitting in the bathtub still waiting for WWE to call him?

Blade: "You might stick it in your peehole."
RD: (100 'kids' later) "I don't know why I started this show again either. You have to forgive me."

JR then calls. (:54) Bob Caudle used his large and excess supply of Vaseline (used alongside some Dark Journey head scissors) to wax his van which attracted bugs on their way to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. He makes Blade laugh. Jim asked John Morrison for BBQ ideas and he suggested Cialis in the turkey rub to keep you up. This was all well and good until the children got into it and then got into the pies. Apparently Jim needs to take some Cialis too as he forgets what else he wanted to say. “Go fluff yourself!” he says instead.

Tammy has a “new” website. (:59) In keeping with her style it's based in Wix, the Geocities of the ‘10s. And looks like it too. As expected she has items for sale, none of them with Shawn Michaels’ signature for some reason.

It will also be her 43rd birthday soon so the two once again look up her Amazon wishlist (available through their Amazon links). It's still under her “old” name of Tammy.

:71 Paul O’Parka has a question about Star Wars. This leads to heated discussion including the following:
  • RD watched the movies with his son.
  • He sees the movies differently now than when he first saw them.
  • He argues with Blade about how as average as it is Revenge Of The Sith is better than Return Of The Jedi as a whole.
  • Said Return included (in his opinion) the blasted teddy bear Ewoks, a neutered Han Solo (shouldn't that be frozen?) accidentally poking Boba Fett into a sarlacc; and Slave Leia not looking as good as Princess, Hoth, or Bespin Leia (though more under an influence, but at least we have the Force to thank for Carrie Fisher to defeat that and be better and funnier than ever, bless her heart).
  • He thinks the movie could have been cut down to 75 minutes rather than its bloated Jabba the Hutt/Death Star II size.
  • He thought Attack Of The Clones had some good (better) pieces.
  • He would prefer to watch III’s General Grievous, who if you've forgotten already (and I don't blame you) was a coughing and wheezing vaudeville cyborg who was shot to death by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"He has four arms! He would make a perfect arm wrestling champion gimmick!"
- 1990's Vince McMahon/Alternate universe wrestling tycoon George Lucas
Also: more credible world champion than Sheamus

:80 The argument spills over to Current Wrestling News instead of RD spilling something else (when he ejaculates).

RD: "I guarantee you. I don't like to make guarantees on this show. I guarantee you this show that you are listening to right now kids is historic. I promise you in the history of Planet Earth no two geeks have ever argued over the merits of bad Star Wars movies while the theme from Coliseum Home Video played in the background."

TNA has had yet another stay of execution. This sounds like the makings of a new show segment to be sure. Now they've gone on Pop TV, formerly the TV Guide Channel, truly the perfect place for professional wrestling! Sadly for Blade it's not a soda-based channel, as he wonders about in a bad joke. RD counters with his own bad joke about Snap and Crackle TV. Blade counter counters with a really obscure joke about WWE moving to Spike TV back in the day.

Also there are reports that TNA is actually paying protection money for their time rather than the usual other way round, a sure sign of a desperate action if ever I've heard one.

To no one's surprise, a lackluster Survivor Series (starring your new world champion Sheamus...again) creates record low ratings for RAW, dropping under 3 million viewers for the first time since its expansion to 3 hours. (:85) Somehow RD offended people when telling them so on Facebook.

Eva Marie was booed on NXT for a rather bad promo among other bad things. To be sure, it's not like she's been in the business long or anything due to being on NXT...oh wait. She's a two year veteran who's one of the main 'protagonists' on that awful Total Divas progrem. Why am I not surprised? Or surprised that the (Montreal based!) pornographic company Brazzers would make her a job offer (among other wrestlers they've contacted, more for publicity than anything lasting really).

Normally I would go on about how often content would sometimes be a natural first step to and from the business (unless your name is Joanie Laurer or Sean Morley) but knowing her skills, I fear it would end up in pretty badly botched action.

Yes, it is possible to be bad at pornography.

No, don't ask me how.

No, don't ask me how I know this either.

This Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Eva Marie porn.
Brazzers made her an offer.
Hope she'll be ball gagged.

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • Black Friday
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2.,
  • URLs not taken: 1.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Names, things we talked about in our past, trolls
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Merits of horrible Star Wars movies
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, Bill Cosby, Jim
  • Blade Time Outs: 1
  • Blade Burps: 1
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  7
  • Krankor Laughs:  1
  • Weird Al Laughs:  1
  • Cricket Chirps:  3
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  1
  • Question of the Week from: Paul O’Parka
    • RD, when Star Wars Episode III:  Revenge of the Sith came out, you said in a review at that it may have been the best Star Wars movie since Empire Strikes Back. With the impending release of The Force Awakens, do you still feel the same about RotS? Yes.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Obviously:
    Eva Marie porn.
    Brazzers made her an offer.
    Hope she'll be ball gagged.

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #046: Black Friday’s Bedding Man

Since The Mike Check Show has referenced the "Bedding Man" Black Friday Story, here's a Wrestlecrap Radio flashback from Minisode #046 (in 2006) for your enjoyment. For those unfamiliar, basically "Bedding Man" was a person that RD Reynolds witnessed at Kohl's during a Black Friday sale yelling on his cell phone saying (quote) "Bitch! I am in line! I am in the store! I'm back in bedding!" (unquote)...while lying on a store bed:

Also included in this Minisode:
  • Good Times and John Amos.
  • Francine retired.
  • Centaur Mickie James is lifting the tail.
  • More wrestlers for the OVW box.

(Video by wcrminisodes)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

WCR Video: Interactive: Far From Q'ute

In this WCR video from Wrestlecrap Radio episode #107, RD and Blade's discussion on 2008's "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling" goes into a tangent when they argue on whether, 80's singer "Stacey Q", looks "cute" or not for some reason? The Co-Fruitcakes then do commentary on her "Two Of Hearts" music video to judge for themselves.

...But their CCW discussion was "Far From Over" because they do briefly go through the reality show's "star-studded" list and then later watch another music video by the first male contestant that was eliminated from the show, which was, you guessed it:


Note: I (R.V.M Kai) created this video after I recently discovered that a previous video title "Stacey Spew", which was one of my favorite "WCR Interactive" segments, had been deleted from YouTube. So I spent literally 6 HOURS LONG re-making my own anyone asking me to re-create another one is "pushing" it!

Oh, and speaking of "Pushin'" (and Frank Stallone), go over to The Mike Check Show right now!.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

255 Tee Hee Halloween: October 30, 2015

"And ya gonna say please & thank ya!"
106 minutes

RD surrounds himself with candles. Huey has yet to update his jokes.

Roddy Piper returns from the grave to warn us about staying safe at Halloween, bless him forever more. (:04)

The Royals are in the World Series (including two Reds as RD points out). To be sure I would have preferred the Blue Jays instead but I like both teams and the Royals put a stronger showing for the Championship Series anyway. Blade hates waking up early to watch the Lions and Chiefs playing in England because the NFL desperately wants Europeans (non-Americans) to watch American (non-European) football. On an unrelated note, RD's Drag Queen with a voice like Ben Vereen advises you to draft Arian Foster. I agree. (:09)

The Pit where PB keeps Raging_Demons ???
For a change, Raging Demons does this week's shilling.  (:13) To be fair he has a much better voice than I even if he is trapped in a pit like RD says he is. Perhaps he's confusing him with Dante's portrayal of Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell...or perhaps he's confusing him with the WWCR character of Satan. (He'll be appearing later on in the progrem in case you were one of the two people who missed him.)

The Intestinal Fortitude didn't pay for this episode sadly, so RD shills his site and Archives more. Listen to the man, I implore you! Trust me, you won't regret your purchase. (You can regret listening to this radio progrem instead.)

According to RD Blade last wrote a Jobber Of The Week in 2003. He Big Announcements some more in response. (:17) They then argue on the availability of Orange Slice.

Blade did some sort of part and found some more folks to go along with him to the grocery. Sadly Eva Savelalot was not one of them. (:22)

The strangest thing the two didn't pick up on was that Mr. T also did a 1-800 Collect commercial or two - foo!, and the Pinkman, Aaron Paul, was in one of them. (He did quite a few commercials and famously appeared on a Barker era The Price Is Right before his breakout discovery by a cancer suffering high school chemistry teacher eager to break into the drug/meth business. Sadly in none of them did he call anyone bitches. He should go back and correct that now with the power of his Emmys before Vince calls him to guest host Raw.)

Anyway, Blade has some Zapps' Voodoo Potato Chips that he hands off to Don to try without even bothering to cue up his theme jingle. Sad News: when trick-or-treating with his children he does not wear his mask; although it does help fans (he has fans living nearby right?) come up to him on the street to ask him for the proper application of corn oil. Even Sadder: the chips are not malt vinegar/BBQ/rib-flavored like he thinks they are.

Danielle Harris with NOT Blade Braxton
Blade's compatriot Midnight Rose met Scream Queen Danielle Harris in a very loud place. She prefers granola much to his surprise. (:36) At that same loud place he also talked with Traci Lords who likes Lucky Charms, which currently have Hot Mask Action.

"And that's the bottom of the line,
'cause Stone Cold Austin said so!"
"Stone Cold Austin" finally has his own beer, Broken Skull IPA, which Blade is apparently already acquainted with based on how drunk he sounds. (:44) The flavor's description confuses Blade with its toxic-sounding ingredients and RD by how it describes itself as "polite".

Kurt Angle wants to teach while taking a year off after escaping TNA. That sounds like the setting for a sitcom. (:52)

Speaking of obscure, Curt Hawkins, currently in Global Force Wrestling, announces the 'debut' of one BM Punk to the company. (:55) The real BM is not happy with the news, and in constipation flushes his frustration out on RD in a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

"Old" Rosa Mendes is pregnant. (:58) So too is "feverish" ClockTrolla champion Candice Michelle. Her current child looks rather vampiric.

Tammy/Tam needs money so she's going to sell pictures of her Mexican vacation from The duo overthink on what she has to offer. (:65)

As if on cue Satan pays a visit. (:70) Actually it's Stan, the Evil Troll Lord now, perhaps taking a cue from Tammy trying to change her name for some reason from the last time. Also, his Tubular Bells once again sound different. Like Jim earlier he also hasn't been paid his royalties and he desperately needs his money to pay landlord God (landgod? landdiety?) for his lease in Hell. He recounts how Tammy is again feuding with people on Twitter, though it's about her looks from her youth so I have to take her side on this one.

Also on cue on cue Mike Check calls in, also wanting his royalties. (:76) Blade's usual silliness causes RD to chuckle and break character.

When he regains his composure Mike tells them about the time he was in the Salem, Massachusetts market in WTCH "The Witch". He was Johnny Boo and together with a female DJ named Ann B Love, they did Afternoon Delight with Boo B Love. (get it?!?!?!) His ensuing music drowns the sleeping RD.

Mike: "Why does RJ never talk when I'm on here?"

Blade thinks the monetary reward from Questioning (of the week) should be tax-refundable. Of course, that's for INTERNATIONAL i.e. usually NON-AMERICAN folks who don't believe in taxes (or death for that matter) so I have no idea how that would work.

Zane U Paisley (2) wants to know what wrestling shirt he should wear for jury duty. (:90) RD often wears Blade's Dungeon Of Doom shirt, especially while exercising. When Blade is not exercising once a week he wears his ECW Francine shirt that rips off Stone Cold Austin. Then he starts chuckling too.

What's this? News about Hulk Hogan that's NOT related to his racism? (:75) Someone's dug up an old WCW contract of his, and it's pretty amazing the amount of millions he received even while WCW was losing money...followed by Hogan losing his money to Linda. Blade remembers his (still on going?) creepy love for Brooke and her long legs. RD plays ZZ Top's Sleeping Bag as his answer.

Hell In A Cell was alright. Of course neither Co-Fruitcake talks about it much.

One Fun Sized Package:
Vince doesn't like blood.
Will the next pay per view be
sponsored by Tampax?

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • Halloween
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3.,, Drive In Movie Maniacs
  • URLs not taken: 3.,,
  • SPEAKING OFs: 4. Holiday jokes and wisdom, perfect guests, shocking, shocker
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 2. Ben Vereen, Eva Savealot
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 9. WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen, Raging_Demons, Eva Savealot, Don Mason, Danielle Harris, Traci Lords, BM Punk, Stan (formerly known as Satan). Mike Check
  • RD Time Outs: 2 (1 Real Quick)
  • Blade Burps: 1
  • Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 9
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  1
  • Mike Check Radio Row: 
  • Question of the Week from: Zane U Paisley (2)
    • I’ve been summoned for Jury duty. What pro wrestling shirt should I wear to court?  Anxiously awaiting your response. Blade: Francine 4:69 t-shirt.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Vince isn't a fan of color. SummersEveSlam?
    Vince doesn't like blood.
    Will the next pay per view be
    sponsored by Tampax?

WCR Video (Repeat): Roddy Piper Double Feature: Halloween Tips & "They Live" Parody

The following WCR Videos were featured on around Halloween 2013 as an annual tribute to "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips. I (R.V.M Kai) sadly discontinued this last year when I featured a Don Mason (yes I'm talking about: Don...Don Mason) Halloween clip last year instead. Well the good news is that...

Video #1 features the return of the Classic Rowdy Roddy Piper Halloween Tips (from episode #081: October 26, 2007) on this here site for 2015.

(Video by J Freek)

Also enjoy Video #2: "They Live? I didn't even know they were sick?": A WCR parody of Hot Rod's movie "They Live" (created by LannysPermJuice)

And speaking of "They Live", The Mike Check Show is currently playing a song from the movie soundtrack.

So now say "Please and Thank Ya"!...or rather from now on:

"Then what you're gonna do is you're gonna have lots of fun and gonna say to each other Happy Halloween and Trick or Treat" - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954 - 2015)

...And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives

Want to make your WWCR experience even MORE random?

Well now you can! Thanks to the newly added "View Random Page" button...wherever it is in the page. It's a very...random placement, you could say.

Just click the large blue button located in the sidebar and be prepared to be taken to ANY random posting or page on the site, no matter how small or nonsensical or nonsensically small it may be! Who may even enjoy it!

[Disclaimer: WrestleCrapRadio takes no responsibility in the event of any side effects that emerge as a result of random post usage, which may include confusion, baldness, numbness, headache, and halitosis. Randomness is not for everyone. Consult your IP address before use.]

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #009: At The Feed Market

Relive RD and Blade's joy for "The Boogeyman's" WWE debut with this Minisode, from Wrestlecrap Radio's 9th episode back in 2005, and hear about how he broke a clock over his head and 'stole their hearts'. (Also on this Minisode; A trip to the Grocery/Video Store story, news of Ricky Morton being in jail and Tajri's wife being lonely at home because she couldn't get a drivers' license).

...And speaking of "The Boogeyman making a debut", after we all saw (except for Mike Check's daughter for some possible Ultimate Warrior in a mirror type of reason?) 6 weeks of Boogeyman vignettes on The Mike Check Show; The Boogeyman has finally "come to get" Mike Check today during 2015's edition of "Halloween Hootenanny"!

P.S. But since, sadly, all good things come to an end, hear RD Reynolds singing "Goodbye to the Boogeyman" after his 2009 WWE release here.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

254 Derailed: October 10, 2015

All Aboard The Trainwreck: Please & No Thank ya!
91 minutes

Blade enjoys his Boo Berry. According to him his Roll Up variant makes Boo look like sperm.

That's what she said.

This is the only solace for Blade, as he doesn't feel well, or so he says. That hasn't stopped him co-hosssing of course. The most harm he can do in his condition is to cough into the microphone. The upshot if there is one is that the medicine gives him an excuse to act pseudo-intoxicated, if any.

RD returns to the subject of (12) Listeners who have no idea about the main site that gave birth to the radio progrem. So the Duo discuss his latest induction. It's not like he already mentions the site every recording or something. (:05) The talk of masks leads into the Pingkin calling in, (:12) and this time RD remembers to use Satan's voice modifier to make him more Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) this time around. I think he just wanted to call to prove he actually/still exists on the show.

Although my shilling is now timed at 10 seconds long, sadly Blade is too ill and confused to hear it well, poor guy. (:14) This infection spreads to them messing around in The Intestinal Fortitude's new ad copy. RD then shills the Archives some more. Seriously, go buy an entry for it. It's only $15 measly dollars! (Which is better than the measles the Co-Hosses seem to be suffering from at present.)

:19 RD took a TRIP...from lunch during work where he met a(nother) hobo wanting to give him head, and I don't mean Al Snow's companion. Quote Mrs. Deal doing a reverse Roddy Piper: "Well I hope you said "no thank you"!" Surprisingly this story doesn't help Blade's condition.

Blade had one of those Halloween Whoopers that constipated him and made his poop green. (:27)

RD: "Why did I ever agree to start this show again? I don't know."

Blade found some 20 year old candy bars that he is going to auction to an unwilling audience. (:33) RD has yet to see Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 

:37 Dave Batista has married for the third time to a "pole dancer" which makes Blade think of horses for some reason. (From what I can tell of her she doesn't seem to have a long face.) He's definitely still pining (like a horse?) for Mickie James. "Obviously I'm a man," he attempts to remind.

Artist's representation
of a poison mushroom
Sad News: Blade's never been married even as he hits 40. Actual Sad News: The Rock's puppy, the one he saved from drowning, didn't cheat death a second time, succumbing to a poison mushroom. (:41)

Rockin' Robin is 51 years young. This summons Blade's (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impression for some reason as an excuse to play her singing again. I hope she invited Brother Hood to her birthday party if she held one. Cue "Bill" mumbling worse than my shill up above. (Don't ask me for any (Viewing Booth) Bill Cosby impressions as I'm terrible at those.) (:45)

Eve Torres had a child named Raeven, pronounced with an H. Please, nevermore with these awkward child names. (:50) RD gongs themselves. The HorseTrolla is still well oiled and functional and tells us that Mickie James is once again attempting to break into the country music scene. (:54)

RD: "You have to be very sick if this show is making you laugh."

:56 "Good" News: Tammy got bailed out of prison. She doesn't like her full name for some reason. May I suggest Raeven? Pronounced with an H. (Or Hammy if you prefer. Or Ham if she still wants the shorter name.) She supposedly found yet another boyfriend through her camera work - not explicit of course! - and you know it's true love when he doesn't have to pay for it. Just TALKING about her makes Blade laugh out (sickly) loud, which just about says it all. She's doing haunted houses now. Not visiting them for the sake of her (web-cam) audience mind you; actually being a performer in one of them.

RD: "Wooow! What a deal! So not only do you get to see a WWF Hall Of Famer get killed [in the Haunted House], you get a free 8x10!"

Worried about how the "trainwreck" of a progrem is going, RD jumps tracks to another trainwreck of TNA, now in its death throes. Yes, again.  (:63) Hopefully this time it stays down; even the Black Knight is looking at and shaking his head ruefully (as King Arthur decapitates him, only for him to continue talking.) As Blade puts it (in line with me commenting on this somewhere), it will not be long until they go the way of the AWA and have turkey on a pole matches in an empty pink arena. I would just cut out the middle man. Their 'arenas' are already empty and instead of having more disjointed matches the 'lucky' viewer could watch the wrestlers paint the arena in pink - something far more entertaining than whatever on earth TNA is doing or not doing. To quote an excellent page on the Death of TNA, in regards to the recent Bound For Glory:

  • "On September 28, six days before their biggest show of the year, TNA announced the semi-main event for Bound For Glory, Kurt Angle vs. Eric Young, over Twitter." 
  • "People who purchased a VIP ticket to the show were given perks such as a tour of the arena and backstage area from Dixie Carter, and a meal from the catering table. TNA talent were reportedly upset at the "lack of privacy" they had."

Also of rather important note:

  • "The following day TNA made another one of their famous "big announcements". This time the big announcement was that Mahabali Shera, EC3 and Rebel would go to India to make an announcement there. That's right, TNA's big announcement was that there would be a big announcement."

I think Blade may be covertly working for TNA ala Vince Russo.

Blade may be sick but he was a trooper enough to persuade the Honky Tonk Mailman to call in, you're a beautiful audience thank you very much. However Blade's sickness infects even his line, as he's more hard to hear than usual, even worse than me up there. He catches them up on Mark Hardy/Mardy returning to action after the birth of his gargoyle kid. He has a Dixie Carter commemorative stamp only available until January.

:72 The WFFDQ advises to pick up Tony Romo. Forget the fact that he's currently injured at episode's run time; he's currently performing better than he did when he was healthy. He's a steal!

Oh and in case you were wondering, as of this writing RD and Blade's FF teams are currently in the middle while I'm near the top - but things can always change, as they usually do.

:74 Allan in Milwaukee wants to know why Stephanie will win this year's Ultimate Warrior Award. RD had a bumper crop of sent in questions after last time's begging, so of course out of all of them he chooses this one. Blade wants two fingered referee "The Iron Duke" Jim Mitchell to win it instead.

Blade: "This show is something else."
RD: "That's the most factually accurate statement you ever made."

Blade delays his Big Announcement. (See above re: TNA.)

:77 WWE may release a Scott Hall DVD. I look forward to how they handle his time in WCW.

James Storm, who had been with TNA FROM DAY ONE, has finally escaped his wrestling banishment to debut on NXT. [He would return in January, but fellow veterans AJ Styles, Bobby Roode, and Eric Young took his place instead.] The Co-Fruitcakes calculate how much TNA would be worth based on their donations - around $14 or so, which is still far overpriced. Blade attempts some serious conversation on Kurt Angle and his Moveset. Then he does his impression of Miss Elizabeth mumbling. My guess is Savage locked her in a room again and she's talking through the door.

Seventeen Syllables Of Current Wrestling News we're gonna get right here in seconds/Seventeen Syllables on the most recent Madison Garden Show once the song hits:
The MSG Show.
Yawn. Hehehehehehe

The MSG Show.
Yawn. It was more like War to
Not Settle the Bore.

RD apologizes profusely for the radio progrem reverting back to its old ways, as if it had never left them at all.

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3.,,
  • URLs not taken: 1.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Internal organs, dying
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Filton Whisk, Bill Cosby, Honky Tonk Mail Man, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen
  • Krankor Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  • Cricket Chirps:  2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
  • Mike Check Radio Row: 
  • Question of the Week from: Allan in Milwaukee
    • Who will win this years Warrior Award and why will it be Stephanie McMahon? Blade: Nope, Iron Duke.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: New Yawn or York?
    The MSG Show.
    Yawn. It was more like War to
    Not Settle the Bore. 
  • Erik Majorwitz’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: One last thing on RDs white:
    Hooker solicits RD.
    What do call such a thing?
    Terrifying Whore-Deal!

WCR Video: The "King Vita Man" Interactive

This is the interactive segment from Wrestlecrap Radio #110 that featured RD and Blade doing commentary on the old "King Vitamin" (or as they call him; "King Pedophile"...which seems like should actually be "Jared's" new nickname) cereal commercials.

Note: We at WCR do NOT actually imply that the old man in this clip is or even portraying a "pedophile", and this is only intended as humor, but I dare you not to laugh when "King Vitamin" (sorry, "Vita Man") making what looks like an "O face" at the 3:58 minute mark! :)

So speaking of "old creeps" (just kidding)...Lord Alfred, if you please:

(Video by Greg Diener)

...And to Mike Check, (*sigh*) King Diamond and King Vita Man are NOT the same guy!

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

WCR Video: RD and Blade's Trip...To The Library

Since Blade once again reminisced, on the latest Wrestlecrap Radio episode #253, about the time he told his old "Trip...To The Library" story, here's:

RD Reynolds' "Trip...To The Library" story, from WCR episode #3, where he listened to Steve Austin and (unfortunately NOT "Angry") Jim Ross boringly read "The Stone Cold Truth" on Audiobook:

...And Blade Braxton's "Trip...To The Library" story, from WCR episode #160, where he recounts his harrowing encounter with a child molester at his local library's restroom:

(Both videos by BoondyAlBoondy)

And be sure to visit here (not the library) for the WCR Video archives

253 The O Show: September 20, 2015

60 minutes

RD enjoys watching a lot of Prime Time Wrestling, the only place where Mr. X could win a match and be taken seriously, according to Blade. As expected WWE is doing a terrible job of showing episodes so RD has to watch them himself.

Blade wanted Heenan to cross dress like Ms. Elizabeth. Does that make Monsoon Savage (the Monsoon Man) and try to keep Heenan locked away in their never ending feud?

Unlike Blade, RD is "not familiar with Mean Gene Okerlund's O Face" (his climax sound to be sure) so Blade has to (repeatedly) audibly demonstrate for him. (:07) Save that for the Coliseum Video theme before you prematurely ejaculate, pal. (...Which they do, actually.)

For a change my shilling this time is shorter, but alas I realize too late I forgot the URL. Not that it's important for a website or anything like that. Then again, if you didn't know it dear reader (all one of you) you wouldn't be here reading this either. To his credit RD repeats it a few times to make it hit the magic 30 second mark, which makes it sound like I've climaxed multiple times like Mean Gene earlier. (:12) In response The Intestinal Fortitude has its own new ad copy. Sadly RD does not do his Jeff Foxworthy...this time.

Blade remembers the first time RD went on a the Library all those summers ago. (:17) Reminder: Blade also went to the Library too (where he met a candy wielding child molester).

RD forgot a third snack from the Netherlands: Tijgernootjes. They look like bacon cheese infused corn covered peanuts (to him; to me they look like rather small scrotum - they really need better packaging over there) and taste rather good, although he can't put down why exactly the taste is so familiar. Thankfully he does not make an O Face while savoring them.

:24 SPEAKING OF corn Blade remembers when Paul Ellering almost lost an eye. Ah, those were happier and simpler times indeed, no? His daughter Rachel is training in WWCR friend and fine young egg Lance Storm's wrestling school in Calgary...

...Alberta, Canada. (Sorry, it was just my turn to make that joke and I couldn't just pass it up.) RD has been trying to get him on their show again in the past year and a half.

Savio Vega is finally getting his due and appearing in WWE 2K16. (:26) Sad News brought to you by Nintendo John (on the Nintendo): the game is not being ported to the (Nintendo) Wii U or the (Nintendo) 3DS (both old (Nintendo) 3DS and new New (Nintendo) 3DS - or was that new (Nintendo) New 3DS? I always get that mixed up). Anyway Nintendo John confuses RD more than Nintendo's current corporate strategy...on the Nintendo. (Insert Nintendo John's audience cheering here.)

The Rock is pregnant. Well, his lady is. Thankfully the Duo get through without talking about any prospective Junior remake (to be made by WWE Films as a favor to a Hall Of Famer no doubt). (:37) RD and I remember Johnson was married before, and I believe that (thankfully) they still seem to be on good terms as they co-own his production company. Sad News: I don't believe her married family name was Rock like Blade thinks it was.

Much like how Blade's random Iron Mark Tyson impersonation gave life to his later character, RD uses his high pitched Football Fan voice from last episode (The WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen as he terms her) to 'advise' fantasy football players to use Packers WR Jordy Nelson. (:40) Blade is reduced to speechless laughter. I'm speechless too - Jordy Nelson has been on Injured Reserve since the start of the season and would be as effective in your team as I would be if I suddenly became QB. To be fair I would probably do better than whoever is currently doing that in Jacksonville.

(I am also left wondering if she and Popeye will start double calling into the show from now on. *Shudder*)

RD is in turn rendered speechless by the courts issuing Tammy a warrant for her arrest for failing to attend a court hearing for her (most recent?) DUI. (:43)

Mike Cantalano thinks WWCR is Facebook Support for some reason. (:47) RD begs for better Questions like he's on a charity fundraise drive. Didn't they raise the idea of doing that one time? (Of which we have all completely forgotten about?)

:50 TNA might be dead. For real this time. No mostly dead or half dead or being stone dead in a minute. Also, you know a promotion is bad when an average house show is more surreal than a Monty Python sketch. I'm shocked we haven't got a gimmick of someone Silly Walking in the ring yet. They still have time until the end of the year though, so it's not too late!

Sting is still wrestling at 56 years old. (:56) As much as I respect them both greatly as true wrestling legends...I don't want Sting to become another Ric Flair. We don't need ANOTHER wrestler who walks around losing his pants faster than Walter White. Although now I want to see Bryan Cranston guest host RAW (sponsored by the fine folks at Los Pollos Hermanos) in one of his contamination suits, clothesline Vince, then take off the head piece to show he's been wearing his Heisenberg Hat all this time. License to print money...which he will then store in a barrel that he buries in the New Mexico desert.

RD: "This is his chance to win the WWE title along with all those WCW titles. In other words, it's his chance to butter his bread at both tables."
Blade: "Oh, you're right Jim."

Then they laugh out loud.

Seventeen Syllables Easily Digestible:
Sting and John Cena.
Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
-itude Adjustments.

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4.,,, Drive In Movie Maniacs
  • URLs not taken: 1.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 4. Euros, Europe, corn, corn (2)
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Premier Blah, “Nintendo” John, WrestleCrap Fantasy Football Drag Queen
  • Krankor Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 3
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  • Nintendo 8 Bit Pops:  12
  • Question of the Week from: Mike Cantalano
    • When you die, what happens to Facebook?  Just wondering.  Khan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blade: Mark Zuckerberg lights a candle in your honor.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Fusion of the old with the new babyface:
    Sting and John Cena.
    Brand new tag team? Dudes with Att-
    -itude Adjustments.

WCR Video: RD and Blade On Angry Marks and Russo's Podcasts

The Thursday Night AMP Podcast, on, were joined on August 6, 2015 by RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton, of, for a special interview to reminisce about the life and times of "Rowdy" Roddy Piper. The Full Podcast can be also downloaded here.

(Video Title: Memories of Roddy Piper w/ RD Reynolds & Blade Braxton by

RD Reynolds (without Blade) also made a 2nd (and less disastrous) appearance on Vince Russo's Podcast: "The Swerve" on The Relm Network, to talk about his "Death Of WCW: 10th Anniversary" book and TNA's current problems. The video podcast can be seen in full at

(Video Title: RD Reynolds Shoot Interview w/ Vince Russo - Swerve Archive (2nd app.) by Vince Russo)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

And now, a word from our 'sponsor'

The following is a Public Service Announcement from -

Angry Jim, ya sons-of-bi...scolded dawgs! (You can't pay me enough to curse!)

How ya doin' tonight nerds?!...Agh! Who am I kiddin'?!, It's only 12 listeners as far as I know, and some of ya ain't even left yer mamma's basement yet!

Anyway, my name is Angry Jim! Ya'll know me from my time on WCW and WWE, Oklahoma Sooners, and the maker of the world's finest barbeque sauces known ta man! But more recently, I'm stuck pirate callin' some fu...HOARABIL rasslin' radio show hosted by two dic...guys who don't know which way the sun rises each mornin', as well as sometimes writin' for a site that's run by a group of jacka...I mean...jokers! AND they haven't even paid me for my time yet, despite repeated requests from me to do so?! I mean, I coulda asked them to pay for what I did cause it ain't come cheap! Lawd knows I need the money instead of thes' freeloaders taking others' hard earned livin' and usin' them to make HORABIL dick jokes about -

Premier Blah: [off 'camera', exasperated] Jim, can we please just get on with this? Wasn't it you who requested this post space in the first place?

Yeah yeah yeah, I'm gettin' to that part, can't you just hold ya horses!? *Sigh*. Godda...darn kids these days! What's wrong with 'em? Bunch of nancy pansy luvin' -

Premier: AHEM.

Alright already, will ya just shuv it?!

Anyway, a year ago - GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY, a year?! I don't think Hollywood John even lasted that long and he couldn't even pull his head out of his! Anyway, a year ago, the site's old domain expired like an old bottle of stale barbeque sauce due to tha site's owners bein' complete shi...doodooheads and not payin' attention to what they're doin'! Heh, kinda like WCW's last days when that coc...chicken plucker; Ed Ferrara was runnin' around pretendin' ta be me!

And speaking of Ed Ferrara, I wish it was that no good hillbilly instead of this...Japanese man or whoever it was who has th' ba...brains to call himself my cousin...Prime Minister Blah, or whatever the flop your name is?!

Premier: Premier Blah. I've told you like ten times already. Didn't whoever you're working with now gave you my credentials?

Ah, shove it, Primer Bra, it's you and my cousin, that soy sauce eatin', sumo wrestlin', robot fu...makin' Jimmycheese Rossini? Gawd darn-it I can't even spell his name right. Don't they have good ol' ENGLISH up where he comes from like any good ol' boy country has like -

Premier: Jimichiro Rosshu. That was his name.

Yeah yeah whatever. You think I care?

So he buys tha domain to make us all gawd darn-it mad! And what does he do? He posts about HIS sexual performance. That's MY gimmick gawd darn-it!

Premier: He did. RVM even managed to grab a hold of him to ask him about it. You even called to vent against him as far as I can remember, Jim. Still I didn't know he had marital problems too. Is that a family thing?

Ah shove it up your fluffer Bra!

Anyway my cousin is more of an idiot than even you, RD, or Blade, and you barely have enough ba...brain cells to share among ya. HE lets his site expire too like a di...dam.

Premier: Which is when I decided to try my luck again and see if I could get it back. I had Clarence spend...a couple of hours on it, as the whole thing was easier and quicker than either of us expected. I mean, if I had known it would be THIS easy I'd have done it far earlier.

That's what you get for being a lazy son of a -

Premier: [ignoring Jim] So the old .com domain name is hopefully back for good this time. Both that and the URLs should hopefully lead to the same place, inconsistencies here and there notwithstanding of course.

I WAS a bit surprised when Jim offered to help get it back and even paid a bit to reclaim the url though. It was very...uncharacteristic of him. I mean, you go on and on about not getting paid by me, RD, or Blade for your trouble and yet you do this almost charitable thing, if only to stroke your ego somewhat at the same time too?

Ah I didn't do it for you ya coc...cockerel! I wanted ta prove to ma no good cousin that no matter how many crappy robots he makes or monsters he creates or whatever they do sitting on their as...butts over there in Japan, that no matter what he does we Yankees will always put them in their place. Just like when we won WW2 and bombed Hir-

Premier: Sorry for interrupting your Oscar speech Jim, but I have to take this. ... Hello?

Jimichiro Rosshu: AAAGGGGHHH! Premier Blah-san! You bring dishonor and great shame to Jimichiro for hack-destroy Jimichiro Rosshu website Resucrapuadio!  I -

Yeah yeah yeah, Agh, go -

Premier: No, let me take it from here Jim. Jimichiro your company bought our domain name and all you did with it for the year that you had it was write three articles about not having sex with your wife?...Really? Nothing more than that? Like writing about -

Writin' about stir-frying or sex robots or sumo tag team championships or whatever you people do there for fun?

Premier: ... what he said to some extent. Without all those random stereotypes he just threw out of course.

Jimichiro Rosshu: AAAGGGGHHH! None of business what I write! I suffer dishonor and shame for this and become demotion from one of 40 assistant manager to one of 80 assistant assistant manger at Fukya Selfu Robotics! Now Jimichiro wish to restore honor by choppy choppy Blah-san and redneck Jim-san pee-pee!

Go fluff yourself! You're not cuttin' off ma penis you son of a -

Premier: ... Guys, Guys, there's a much better way to settle this. Quickly, get Clarence Mason on the phone!

Jimichiro Rosshu: You want sue Jimichiro Blah-san!? I get "Ace Attorney" Naruhodou-san to sue you! And then I kicka your (*phone cuts out*)

Aaaaah go Fukushima yourself ya piece of shii...take! You and your 80 assistant to the assistant to the assistant of whoever stir-fries your sushi in that company of yours! Let me tell you somethin', there may be 80 of you cooks but only one of me! And I have an 80 year old cripple, Bob Caudle, as my cooking assistant!

Premier: Sigh...

And you Bra! When will YOU pay me for doing you a favor ya coc...cockarel? Darn it, do I have to get John Thomas on th' phone to get my money's worth?

Premier: Oh boy...Blah here. Mr. Thomas I presume?

Heyyy, er, this is Iron Mark Tyson... Er, I just heard we're at war with the Japanese again?...So, er, you will this affect my flight to Tokyo next week?

Premier: I knew I should have stayed in bed this morning...

The preceding Public Service Announcement has been brought to you by...

JR's Dark Journey Mahogany Barbeque Sauce! Try some today, and you'll be loving every minute of it. Includes a free pair of Dark Journey Head Scissors! 

[To Be Continued...]