Minisode #064 All About Lance

by iggy



May 25, 2007

Lance Storm

#temerity #dueling sponsors

064 A Storm of Words: May 25, 2007

Lance Storm Interview
(78 minutes)

Jim Cornette impressions. Smooth Jazz Blade disconnects. Invasion. Boring Lance Storm. Dancing with a large penis. 'Nuff said.

(From Wrestlecrap.com)


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Calgary...to my Alberta, Canada, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Steve Austin
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Atari 2600, Outlaw, Arthur Murray
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Lance Storm

  • F-Bombs: 3. Lance Storm

Minisode #063 Ghetto Amusement Park

by iggy



May 18, 2007

Blade is a Hobo
Boyle's Joyland
Ghetto Skeletor, He-Man, and Man-At-Arms
RD's Jury Duty

#bill-dodging drunken hobo #bindle

063 Here Craps The Judge: May 18, 2007

Masters of the Ghetto
(77 minutes)

Behold! Ghetto Amusement Park:
"He-Man"...
..."Skeletor"...
...and "Man-At-Arms"!
Karate Kid memories. Blade talks about meeting Ghetto He-Man while mocking cripples. (He stands up for them.)

RD's Trip...To Jury Duty! (by RVM Kai)
No Co-Host Contest (thankfully). Instead we have RD's Trip to Jury Duty where he was chosen to read the verdict in his radio voice. (:18)

Mail Bag (:30): Disco Bonfire wants Randy Orton to kick Mike Jones in the testicles. Sadly for OTG (3) Kevin Thorne will not give birth, not even to a bat baby. Krankor speaks in protest. (:33) Per Jason, RD plays a cover of Beach Patrol. (:38) Fraggle reference.

Obscure Wrestling News (:40): Maestro has opened a wrestling school. Jason Molestation shoots from the ass. (:44) RD is selling his Wrestlefest arcade game. Horsetrolla: A lot of people don't have farms. Mickie James is looking for people to ride her horses. (:51)

Victoria owns her own pizza shop. Santino Marella now hails from New Jersey. (:58) Rumor has it that Ludvig Borga did a 9/11 rap. (:61)

TNA has adopted a mascot... a kangaroo named Stomper. Blade wants to know its gender. (:62) Speaking of disasters... TNA is releasing a DVD entitled TNA: Year One.

Could Gene Snitsky be feuding with John Cena? (:68) Blade says it took fifteen years to replace Giant Gonzales with Khali. Rob Conway, 2Cold Scorpio, and Sabu were fired. (:70) Sabu showed up to a taping without his wrestling gear.

This Week's Wrestling Haiku:
Sabu without pants.
Gimmick infringement. My law-
yers will be in touch.

RD promises his first question for Lance Storm will be about his penis.



Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The TNA Stomper to my Wildcat Willie, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 5. Hulk Hogan doing a horrible rap, pants, pants or lack thereof, Ludwig Borga, licenses to print money, things I don’t understand
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. MySpace, Rob Conway
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • F-Bombs: 1. Blade

  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 1
  • Shelly Martinez References: 1
 
  • Mailbag
    • Disco Bonfire: Due to Randy Orton punting Shawn Michaels in his sexy boys, should he get his nickname changed to The Testicle Killer? And if so, could Randy "The Testicle Killer" Orton versus Mike Jones headline Wrestlemania 24? No sold.
    • OTG: Last night before I went to sleep, a question popped into my head leaving me baffled. With your expertise in Wrestlecrap, you're the only one I knew to turn to for an answer. So my question is this: if Kevin Thorne and Ariel were to make whoopie, and give birth to a bouncing baby vampire, when Ariel went to breastfeed the demon child, would it go straight for the milk much like Blade would if he met Linda Hogan? Or would the baby instead try to suck out Ariel's blood? If the answer is in fact the latter, what would happen if it bit into Ariel's silicone? Would it grow massive funbags of its own? Would it spit the silicone in Kevin Thorne's face in a comedic manner? Would it gain superpowers? To paraphrase the great Stevie Ray, this sucka's gots to know! Krankor: This is the end for you. You'll be a horrible example for anyone who opposes me.
    • Jason: After listening to last week's outro featuring the Great Khali rapping, it got me to thinking. Seeing as how the upcoming match of Cena versus Khali is guaranteed to be a negative star affair, wouldn't you rather see them settle their differences by having a freestyle rap off in the middle of the ring? 100% yes.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Sabu without pants.
    Gimmick infringement. My law-
    yers will be in touch.

Minisode #062 Read Your Food

by iggy



May 11, 2007

Chex Mix for breakfast
Spicy Mustard Kettle Corn
Trivial Pursuit Pop-Tarts
RD's dream
ToyCrap
Blade sings "To All the Divas"

#cola #brain-teaser

062 Smooth Jazz Blade: May 11, 2007

Smooth (Overnight) Jazz Blade
(87 minutes)

A new (temporary) broadcasting set-up gives Blade the better mic, and the respect he is due. RD has booked Lance Storm for May 25.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Chex Mix 100-calorie packs. Incredible Hulk house-building board game. Trivial Pursuit Pop Tarts. Spicy mustard kettlecorn popcorn does not agree with Blade's stomach.
There are no photos of people actually playing this game.

Co-Host Contest Week 11 (:23): Forrest George wants to wear Scott Hall's pubic hair as a wig. 8 of 18.

Wrestling Dream Analysis segment returns. (:33) RD gets a room with Scott Hall. Blade is again useless.

Mail Bag (:37): Jay Gorham, not Alien Ham. A failed attempt to punch Mike Jones in the balls. Joyce DeWitt at a comic convention for some reason. Travie Yak wants another book to be written with X-Entertainment's Matt (:44). RD took a lady to see Short Circuit and did not "get any."

(by RVM Kai)
Obscure Wrestling News (:49): Bill Goldberg's direct-to-DVD movie, Half Past Dead 2, will be released in May. Test has swollen tonsils and lost 25 pounds. Kelly Kelly had to drive him to the hospital, yet another in his long line of women. (:55) Carmella married QB Jeff Garcia. (:61) Dawn Marie says she was fired from WWE because she is pregnant. Blade confuses RD by wanting to see pregnant women dance around in the ring. "Not that I believe in abortion." (:64) Gene Snitsky now has giant green teeth. (:67) London and Kendrick held tag belts for a year and Steve Austin doesn't know who they are. (:70) RD wants more old angles repeated, per Jim Cornette's seven-year rule. WWE is making Divas dress less provocatively. (They had been doing it just for fun.) Discussion about The Karate Kid: Blade mentions meeting William Zabka aka "Johnny". (:79)

Blade sings a song to all the Divas he's loved before. (:82)
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The torn biceps to my torn triceps, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com, X-Entertainment
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 6. Giant dongs, Scott Hall’s pubic hair (2), Mrs. Deal, champions though, Snitsky
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 7. Madonna, Bob Geldof, Silly Putty, Short Circuit, Johnny 5, Cobra Kai, Casio keyboard
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade

  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 4
  • Cricket Chirps: 7
 
  • Shelly Martinez References: 2
 
  • Mailbag
    • Jay Gorham: HEY RD! This is Drunk Jay Walker, long time listener, LONG TIME CRAPPER! I have a question? Do you think Mr. Mike Jones uses his old WWE noseguard as a jockstrap to be used against getting punched in the balls? Last summer I had a change to meet Mr. Jones at a comic book convention and was unfortunately unable to punch him in the balls. He left his booth to go flirt with the old dames from Three's Company. When I was six years old I punched a sweaty fat guy in a Spider-man costume in the gut. Does that count? Am I redeemed? Did I compensate for my tragic loss? Maybe.
    • Travie Yak: I don't really have a wrestling question, but I figure that's just fine because you guys don't talk about it anymore. Not that I mind, mind you, as I enjoy your trips to the grocery store, as I work in one. ANYWAYS, my question has to do with two of my favorite websites. One of course is wrestlecrap.com and the other is x-entertainment.com. I remember you mentioned some time ago that you planned to write a book with Matt from X-E but nothing came of it. I was curious to know if you're still in contact with Matt these days and do you think you two will ever do a collaboration together? Have you ever thought of having him as a special guest on WrestleCrap Radio? Johnny Five style.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: N/A
 

Minisode #061 RD and Wikipedia

by iggy



May 4, 2007

RD on wikipedia.
RD doesn't eat fruit or "pizza vegetables"

#wiener cleaner #blatant neglect

061 Botany Crap Radio: May 4, 2007

Botany Crap Radio
(77 minutes)

Wikipedia reported that RD was dead in his bathtub, waiting to be discovered by his neighbors. (I didn't even know he was sick.)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:10): RD's infant kicked him in the crotch and laughed repeatedly. RD won't eat his fruit brethren.

Co-Host Contest Week 10 (:20): Erik Majorwitz all the way from Germany gets cut off by DIGILADY!!! But he manages to do his Great Khali. 7 of 17.

Mail Bag (:34): Stuart Neil's wrestling names. Arthur Pinkham. Alien ham. (:37) Don't write, "the WWE," it's just WWE. Italian guy Santino Marella (a Canadian) won the Intercontinental Championship. (:44) RD remembers when wrestlers were billed from Japan.

Obscure Wrestling News (:49): Jason Sensation says he was fondled often by WWF agents. Jason Sensation looks like a younger and much uglier Christopher Walken. Ivory has a dog center. Hulk faced Paul the Great, not Big Show. He should've been Paul Bunyan. (:60) The Condemned tanked. RD and Blade reminisce about Stone Cold's non-wrestling segments after Owen Hart injured him. (:63) John Amos frightens RD. Robert Conrad's shoulder battery. Undertaker is injured.

ECW champion Vince McMahon. (:70)

Twelve Syllables Plus Five Syllables:
Vince is champ again.
Could things get any worse? Yes.
Great Khali, champion.

Outro: Going Back to Khali parody song.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Great Khali impersonator Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Rest to My Peace, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 9. Punching Mike Jones in the nut sack, punching Virgil in the nut sack, plants, Chef Boyardee, the Big O (2), depression medication, things that do not have legs, urination in wrestling
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 1. Robert Conrad
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Mama from Good Times

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Digilady

  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade

  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 8
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 2
 
  • Mailbag
    • Stuart Neil: Love the show and of course the website. If you had to change your name to that of a wrestler's ring name, who would you choose? Would you choose something sounding normal like Chris Benoit, something obscure like Flex Cabana, something that makes you sound important like Baron von Rashcke, or would you go the full distance and change your name to Damien Demento and dress like him every day? Blade as Mr. Wrestling 2.
    • Arthur Pinkham: Hey RD and Blade, I was wondering about something. On Raw last week, they had a plant playing an Italian fan in Milan Italy, who won the Intercontinental title from Umaga. My question is if you were hired by the WWE and were a plant and WWE had you challenge a current WWE champion, which champion would that be and what country of origin would you claim to be from? A little town in France.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Vince is champ again.
    Could things get any worse? Yes.
    Great Khali, champion.