Minisode #147 On Remote at the Gun Show

by iggy

May 29, 2009

RAW is basketball
Walter Kronkite
Transformer Bumblebee
BabyTrolla debuts
An actual letter
Angry Jim
Mike Check at a gun show

#billy #membership card

147 VKM MVP: May 29, 2009

73 minutes
"most gibberish-tastic WCR we've ever had"

All-Time Leader in Fools Pitied
Blade begins recording hitting the bottle, something he hasn't done for a while and which makes the show more interesting from the get-go. This is due to the week's RAW and Vince trying to make his own wrestling-basketball team for his company's play-date. Blade thinks the owner of the Denver Nuggets is "Walter Kronkie" and not Stan Kroenke. Also Cronkite is still with us. But he'd probably pass over if he saw the WWE-NBA feud still continue on. RD has an excuse to bring Good Times' Mama swearing on the show. Vince's misguided effort to get Lakers fans is mocked. If he starts trying to bring Kobe Bryant and Lebron James to face each other on Smackdown I'll  give up all hope.

Global Internet's Greg wants to come on the radio progrem to clear some things about his company and the sexual allegations leveled against him. (:11) Despite this the Co-Fruitcakes continue their conspiracy against him. Baseball's golden boy Jose Canseco in MMA. Zubaz-wearing Mr. T at a Cubs game. RD serenades him with Bette Midler. Blade enjoys Bette Midler farting during her period. Everyone has a fetish. (:17) Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? It's your last chance! (Assuming May includes parts of June up to the 11th. Sadly, all copies of the Book of Lists Exclamation Point have been sold.)

Blade took a TRIP to the Convenience Store. (:20) He encountered promotional Snickers Nuggatbot bars for the new Transformers movie. It's just a normal bar with some urine-colored food coloring in it. RD makes fun of Bumblebee.

There's no Fan Fiction as Blade couldn't find anything good this week. (He's getting drunk, remember?)

Mike Check is still on his tour in the WWCR Party Van (:26) and when we reach him he's in Dalton, Georgia at some random "Gun & Knife Show" He might as well report from somewhere more dangerous. A petting zoo perhaps. He was once in the Dalton market at WWGA "Georgia's Finest. He was known as "the Original Georgia Peach" until a woman took it (I didn't know Ty Cobb was a cross-dresser) and then he became George Uh. There are some random words about Pong, and Blade wants to rape an imaginary character. Poor dope. Before things can get TOO exciting, Mike encounters this week's deadly threat - some gun demonstration. You know what happens; do I even need to say it? (Apparently down in Georgia they use live ammo and ignore safety precautions.) RD wonders where Mike gets all his stuff. He probably trades his bumper stickers for it.

To news more Obscure than even Mike Check, the Mantaur is running some Indy Fed in Omaha (:37). I sincerely hopes he runs it in his bull outfit. Matt Morgan will be there at some "Funplex"; will the Pink Assassin Midnight Rose also make an appearance? RD wants to manage someone against his ward as Blade has yet another "Big Announcement" this summer for some indie appearance. "Pretend you didn't hear that!" he tries (and fails) to disclaim.

The Bastion Booger now has his own action figure, with the same dimensions as the real life gimmick I reckon. Blade remembers a naked Mike Shaw being arrested on CNN. RD doesn't believe him. There's some mention of some Interactive with the Gymini Action Figures from last week - how many are being bought? There's your weekly threat of a new induction for ya. Can another Co-Hosss contest be far behind?

This week's Someone Bought This! has a new [prototype] Haku action figure; but he still doesn't come with crown as illustrated. What's the deal? (:47) Blade went rummaging in his basement as he usually does to hide from John Thomas and found some Wrestling Ring catalog he wants to auction. But will he sign it? RD reads a random Apter mag about Too Cool Scorpio fighting the Barbarian, and Liz Hunter on Ricky Steamboat. A new gift from the Trolla Corporation arrives for him (:51), This turns out to be the BabyTrolla, a baby doll giving news of wrestling-related births. In this case Dawn Marie has her second child, sincere congratulations to the couple. Blade can't say the word Caesarean properly (I was C-sectioned if you're not interested [As was I! --Iggy]) and says the word 'cunt' for the first time on the progrem. [This site rightchere is the only one on the planet where you'll find BabyTrolla or "Baby Trolla".]

Today's Question (:53) is a physical piece of paper. On an audio podcast. Er...The sender, one Matthew F. of San Jose, sends his message to Bill Apter courtesy of RD, wanting his own Membership Card. He really needs to post a picture of it on the site and/or forums as visual proof.

Sure enough, Mike Check calls in; (:57) he's not dead yet!

Blade: "Damn."

Mike was wearing a bullet-proof vest, though apparently it's slipped RD's mind that he should really call from the nearby hospital being checked for possible injuries, and not STILL BE AT THE GUN SHOW!!! [Hah, you Canadian with your excellent health care system! --Iggy] Dear Emperor. Blade loses his patience with the grizzled veteran, as he often does every week, and Mike plays a song for Victoria, now in TNA. RD wants the man deader than his career. How about sending Mrs. Deal to take care of him? She has a proven track record of eliminating TNA correspondents you know.

Jim Ross calls in yet again. (:60) RD is happy to hear him, anything to get rid of Mike. He has more Sad News, the regret of being stuck with Jason Hervey at Clash of the Champions while Vanna White was at Wrestlemania IV. No, not that, he doesn't have a "video blog" this week. Yeah, good luck with that. He's also still angry at Michael Cole, now just a "male cigarette".

But at least JR being around is better than at :67, with more Linda Hogan nonsense, with her calling out Brooke and her breasts. Makes me want to listen to more episodes of the radio progrem. That and Triple H trading an attempt at Thor for being He-Man.

Seventeen Roundball Syllables:
Jazz. Thunder. Magic.
That dog-shit RAW Monday had
none of the above.

Well it could be worse. Could you imagine Vince feuding with the Clippers? (Although he'd still get more of an audience than TNA's.)

Minisode #146 Mike Check at a Star Wars Convention

by iggy

May 22, 2009

Mickie James's pants
Sir Alec reads New Jack
Angry Jim doesn't like Michael Cole
Mike Check at a Star Wars Convention

#sash #giant kangaroo

146 The FM Menace: May 22, 2009

77 minutes

Mike Check is 30 days away from 'breaking' Johnny Six's record, before he misses doing so and the Co-Hosses are left to find yet another TNA person. Or perhaps resurrect Nathaniel, the greater of two evils. The Sad Music is played for that inevitability, and all the other former deceased people before him, except Stubby who somehow returned. Blade: "Things like that happen sometimes."

Mike himself is on his Death Trip Whirlwind Tour across the mainland, to increase buy rates for a show listened to by 12 people. He's at a convention for the 10th anniversary of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace at some vague place or other. Sadly, he's not there with Blade's friend (Corey Horny) Diamond. Blade wants a Photoshop of Sith Lord Alfred Hayes as a ghost in Return of the Jedi.

Greg is not happy about a, taken or not. Blade has fantasies of ventriloquist dummies. Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? Blade is selling Stubby-signed prints. (:14) SPEAKING OF people spending money, the offer to buy the Katie Vick outfit has increased to $1200. Blade wants it to be higher, else he'd probably have sex in it again. [SELL! SELL! SELL! --Iggy]

Image by The Sam

Let's go to Mike Check at that convention. (:16) Some random playing of the theme song from 'down the hall' is heard as Mike reports in with numerous WWCR The Whacker bumper stickers. While talking he bumps into sound bites of a probe droid, a tauntaun, a swearing Trandoshan, some 'red trashcan', and some roving band of Jawas speaking 'Mexican'. He essentially has no idea where he is or what film he's meant to cover. But he DOES get a Virgil-style hit to the groin from the aptly named Jake Lloyd Jr. Quote he: "YIPPEE!" RD jokes on Mike still non-reporting on TNA news, although these new-fangled Star Wars movies seem like news to report for the fellow Crappers.

Obscure Wrestling News: (:24) While Terri Runnell's house contest/spam has been canceled due to the lack of gullible people, the ripped-off entrants still have to be refunded their entry fee. The real Terri thinks they've already been paid. Sad News: she really wanted to help those people. Even more Sad News: The (outdated) site is still up to steal money, as far as I can tell. (:31)

More news about Ashley Massaro: A site has a list of clients to her service, including Mickey Rourke. Blade makes another reference to his lactating escort roommate. Some random discussion about the Diva Search 'winners' turns into talk about midgets and a possible Midget Search, with Bridget the Midget and Midgets bouncing on couches, which is the only thing RD can remember from watching wrestling from the past four years. Blade insults them all the while. What happened to cripples (and standing up for them)? Randy Orton, Father Time. (:41) RD does not understand him. Jillian Hall is engaged to a Dick. (:42) Gymini dolls. Blade wants to see how well the nearby store sells them every week.

Jillian Hall with 3 caramel apples
Sir Alec makes a return Fan Fiction appearance. (:46) No story again, but he does read us some random Myspace message from New Jack. He's angry at everyone!

Question of the Week. (:52) Listener #4 Goldenbane thinks people were angry Roddy Piper was fighting with Robert Downey Jr. Perhaps he didn't like that Charlie Chaplin biopic of his. Blade still wants to see some anus action.

Mike Check Strikes Back! (:56) He saw someone in Mandalorian armor calling himself Boba Foot, but he hasn't seen many women around yet. We're just in time to have him watch a lightsaber duel too at a dangerously close distance. Don't they have safety regulations at those places? Sure enough he gets 'struck down', Blade doing his dramatic "Noooo!", but it's only a flesh wound and he's alright...for now. He plays Debby Boone's You Light Up My Life. (What with their being 'light' sabers and all.)

Before we can talk more wrestling about Ric Flair and Vince's feud with the NBA (what, on this show?) Jim Ross calls. (:64) He's angry - again - but at this point the sauce has already dried on the rack of ribs and not had that much of an effect anymore. He's angry at working twice as long, or something or other. He also calls Michael Cole a certain term, which RD finds offensive enough to bleep out, despite the fact that they've been saying it over the years without doing anything about it. Perhaps RD's being forgetful. He wants some human/jawa barbecue as seen in A New Hope. He has some video blog Big Announcement next week, meaning has Blade has three things he'll want to tell us but then will promptly forget about.

The HorseTrolla asks about Mickie James' new outfit. (:71) Vickie Guerrero is some sort of dancing Miss Wrestlemania.

Seventeen Inches:
Vickie's got the Sash.
She's Miss Wrestlemania.
She doesn't miss meals.

145 One-on-One: May 15, 2009

86 minutes

Now, if Piper was fighting
Morton KOOPA Jr. ...
For some strange reason there's been lots of controversy over last week's induction of Roddy Piper spraying in the anus of Morton Downey Jr. What is there to argue about? That thing was terrible.

Blade thinks RD is seeing Greg of Global Internet for his own anal sprayings, and that Greg has his own Global Internet Brothel. How would that work though?

Sad News: Mickie James auctioned off her Halloween outfit and Blade didn't even know it. (:10) Some random geek/nerd/poindexter offered $1000 for the Katie Vick outfit. Blade burps randomly in response.

RD didn't took a TRIP sadly, but Blade did with Forrest George (:14), who had come for an autographed picture of the Midnight Rose as part of his Whirlwind Adventure. Blade has some Captain Kirk hat he won from a claw machine. He also eats some Star Trek Lucky Charms cereal and indulges his cannibalism by eating Uhura. Sadly Stubby does not make an appearance in response. (:21)

Sir Alec is here again for his Fan Fiction (:23) but he's still insubordinately hurting as he boycotts the show. Can he lead the tide in turning the show around? After he insults the 'boring' Mike Check, RD and Blade pull a page from an old Apter mag and decide to have Alec go One-on-One as P.N. News against RD's Dixie Carter as Johnny B. Badd. Can Sir Alec show off his rapping skills as The Ride of the Valkyries plays in the background?

Image by Greg Matsunaga

The FaxTrolla sounds up. (:36) An open letter from the Big Nippled Vampire announces some auction of some 'sexy' marijuana outfit of hers with some pasties or other. Blade misses out on THAT too. Just his bad luck huh? Candice Michelle was at some NASCAR race representing (:41) Some body double named Rachel Carr is signed up by WWE. Sad News: You mean THIS deceased woman? Cue a dramatic "NO!" from Blade. He and Don Mason once met some random body double at some Raiders game.

A Clayton (not the Clayton RD is familiar with, this is another one) has this week's Question (:47) and asks about One Hit Wrestlers. RD wants Xtreme Xpose to return. Remembrance of the three women ensues. Blade wants Don Mason 'back' in the ring. (but did he ever leave?) We watch another  Don Mason tribute video by new WC Legend LannysPermJuice/Still Not Tom Bosley. RD didn't know they were on LP or had that many attentive listeners/prisoners just standing around in courtyards listening to them.

Mike Check tunes in, although not from a prison/courtyard. (:60) Blade tells him he's catching up to the Correspondent record as held by Johnny Sax. His ratings have been sagging low though and he probably needs a proctologist to check on them. Perhaps he should tour the country on the Mike Check Summer Sizzlin' Splashin' Spectacular to meet the 12 Listeners while selling bumper stickers. I wonder if this will end badly.

TNA was in Huntingdon, Virginia at some random shopping arena over there, sharing it with a prom. Mike worked there at WDOX the Boondocks for hillbillies at the Moonshine Drive as the Mountain Dude. Fascinating. Blade fails at stifling his tee-hee-tickle-party laughter but takes the opportunity to do his Outsiders impressions again. Ray Peterson's Tell Laura I Love Her depresses the Co-Fruitcakes who have to talk above the song.

A last-ditch effort by the show to have wrestling news? Sure, I guess. (:76) The stupid slogan of the WWE Divas is mocked. RD wants to preview the upcoming Judgment Day PPV by going down the card. (:80) They go over one (1) match before Blade wants to make a stable called the Petting Zoo.

Seventeen Syllables to close this out and get us on with our lives:
Judgment Day Sunday.
My mind's already made up:
Not buying the show.

Blade: "Beautiful music."
RD: "Beautiful music, horrible show."

Minisode #144 Thank You for Being a Friend

by iggy

May 8, 2009

The WCR Curse got Bea Arthur
Angry Jim, Barbecue Man
Mike Check mourns Dom DeLuise

#fumigate #human league

144 Cursed!: May 8, 2009

71 minutes

Sad News: The passing of Bea Arthur, the patron saint of WCR. RD ponders what would have happened if Blade hadn't mentioned her in the first episode, perhaps making some sort of mirror universe podcast where they have actual wrestling talk and not discuss breakfast cereals and old and obscure TV shows.

This fine radio progrem seems to have some sort of curse - almost everyone from the pilot is dead (in some manner). Don Knotts is dead (for real this time). Johnny Carson is dead (and so too has Ed McMahon after him). Get In The Ring Radio has gone off the air. Clumsy Girl is jobless (albeit probably less clumsy). Leila "Naked Girl" Milani lost the Diva Search. Christy Hemme was fired. Rob Conway's career has gone up the Conway. Jillian Hall's mole has vanished. There are no new Austin Powers movies for the time being (but Mike Myers still continues to make unfunny movies at our expense). L.O.D. has split. And the Boogeyman has been fired. Twice. RD and Blade are understandably concerned about Tom Wopat and Joyce DeWitt, both still alive but threatened by the scepter of death. Blade saw some John Schneider tape in a flea market so HE'S in danger too. (:07) As we remember Arthur through her Star Wars Holiday Special Blade wonders which Golden Girl he would most have sex with. That show's theme song is played. ("Thank You for Being a Friend")

Meanwhile we have the May Mayhem Sale going on during, well, May, and hopefully without any more people dying. (:13) There is some nostalgia about mailing actual physical letters or some such. RD wants to read from Apter mags every week. (:18) This week he took a TRIP for Business (:19) in which he saw a closed down Mix'n'Match Cereal restaurant. He also had to explain what Quisp was to the younger geeks/nerds/poindexters with him. Some cereal in Blade's past reminded him of/tasted like dog food, but he have no idea what it was. (Mystery solved, it's actually Kellogg's Cracklin' Bran.)

No Fan Fiction Theater today. (:24) Sir Alec is no-showing, and in his own hand-written letter pouts on his segment taken over on the earlier show, making him - surprise surprise - get drunk. Blade reads it to music of course, but unfortunately not as Sir Alec. As 'compensation' Jim Ross phones in (:27) He's angry over something or other as he usually is. As far as I can tell he's angry at Backlash making fun of him, he has an idea for a BBQ Man mascot for his franchise (with a weakness against vegans) and some random commentating gigs on Dolph Ziggler.

Obscure Wrestling News (:33) How would you like to get your own Demolition Tag Team Championship Belts delivered to you personally by Ax and Smash? Of course, that's if the thing actually sells; as of this writing there are no bids for the thing. I bet for just $1000 you could get them to deliver it to you with free pizza.

The recently laid off Billy Graham has returned to his Satanic self (:36) and sent another daemonic email to the Cauliflower Alley Club about some missing payment, and another to Vince about the copyright on his name. The Midnight Rose has a random cameo in Mil Mascaras' new movie (:43) and had a face-to-face encounter with the man. He's moving up! He promises another 'Big Announcement' for him to instantly forget about.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail. (:45) Mickie James has a new clothing designer. There is some discussion on what she wears. Blade bewilders RD as he normally does. Blade has a new favorite fan-made sign (on "I'd make Mickie sticky".

RD skips past the Question of the Week and summons Mike Check to try and cut off Blade from making any more fan-signs. (:48) The grizzled DJ is also very sad on the passing of Dom DeLuise. Weirdly enough RD mentioned him in his first promo. Also Don...Don Mason was once called "Domb" Sadly Mike does not take Blade's requests to play some Human League. "Fascinating," says he in response. What's even more fascinating is he briefly mentions the new TNA Women's Champion, Angelina Love, and he almost breaks down giggling. That's some sure nice professionalism you've got going on there Mike. He plays The Ohio Express for us, bringing back the Tee Hee Tickle Party for a few fleeting moment.

No doubt using this fine site of Iggy's and mine, we learn that around now would be the one year Anniversary of Johnny Six's 'mishap', and that he was the longest running TNA correspondent for about four months (:59) Blade wants to see if Mike will break that record (he's currently at three months). Does RD need to break out the ClockTrolla for this? (Assuming it still works.)

Current Wrestling News: (:62) A new Allied Powers DVD is out. Blade's Mike McGuirk impression is dubbed over some alluring remix of Lex Luger's and Davey Boy Smith's themes. Blade wants to review the DVD's Demolition tribute. Linda Hogan wants more protection money from Hulk and his Legdrop of Doom. (:65) Some talk on Tyler Mane. RD reverses his greasy stance on Maryse.

Seventeen Syllables about Jared on RAW:
Jared and Miss James.
Fuck Subway. Mickie still has
me thinking Arby's.