Minisode #045 Roller Dogs

by iggy

November 17, 2006

Lumpy sure has grown.
Hot Dog roller and bun warmer.
The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express

#daphne #velma

045 Banging with WrestleCrap: November 17, 2006

Banging with WrestleCrap
(68 minutes)

RD and Blade are watching TNA's first prime time show. (Unlike last time with the Diva Search though, it's in the background rather than the focus of the week.) They don't understand why there's a hole in the cage.

There were hobo-looking people waiting in line for the PS3's release. (:05) Blade's friend got kicked out for a PS2 when someone else wanted to have sex with him for it. (:09) [Don...Don Mason?]

RD and Blade have to remind us that they are in fact not dead. Unless they've been newly reanimated...

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:19): RD remembers the Star Wars Holiday Special. Hot Dog Roller is available. Blade informs RD of the Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express. "Hot juices exploded into my mouth!" (:27)

Obscure Wrestling News (:34): Stacy Keibler has been asked to go on the Dancing with the Stars road tour. RD was gifted a copy of Grandmasters of Wrestling Vol I. Blade got something about the Adam West Batman TV series. JT Titty is in contention in an online voting competition. (:43) Melly Mel is trying to get into the industry at the young age of 45. Blade "raps".

Mail Bag: DZ thinks the Co-Hosts should have been harder on Vince Russo for some reason. (:49) The Lone Ranger asks a varied question about Ariel's breasts. (:54) Brendan Crabb quoted the first WrestleCrap book in one of his university papers. Blade compares himself to Mike von Erich. (:56)

Survivor Series is coming and WWE wants you to be "banging with Ashley". (:59) RD reads down the card and gets stuck on Samoa Joe. "Please to explain." (:62) Vince's ass is available 'in cartoon form'.

Hot Dog Smore:
Vincent McMahon's ass.
He says that it can do tricks.
Make it disappear.

RD: "The finest advice I think I've ever heard on this here radio show."
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The Scrappy to my Scooby, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Walmart
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 11. Passé, technology, the worlds biggest tard, all things that are holy, writing a list, five minute rest holds, 69, clips, wheelbarrows and anal cavities, things that are random, things I almost want to get faced with the ‘Final Solution’ on
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 5. Don Knotts, Starsky & Hutch, Miami Vice, Cher, Chaka Khan
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  •  F-Bombs: 1. Blade
  • RD Time Outs: 1

  • Shelly Martinez References:  3
  • Ashley Massaro References:  3
  • Mailbag
    • DZ: Hey man, I listened to part 2 of the Vince Russo interview you guys had with him a while back and I had to ask: why were you guys such pussies? You didn't call him on all the stupid sh*t he did in WCW. He's very good at being emotional and he talks very well with the purpose of making you believe he's correct. I've heard all his interviews and I'm dying to hear an interview with him where people have the balls to tell him Vince it didn't make WCW any money. People don't do that.
    • The Lone Ranger: In your opinion what is bigger: the number of injuries Mick Foley had in his career, the number of times Terry Funk retired, the Sun, or Ariel's new tatas? In my opinion it's a huge toss-up. I think she should have been Ariel Titty, JT's sister.
    • Brendan Crabb: Loyal Australian Crapper for years here, I wrote to RD last year to let you know I referenced a quote from the first Wrestlecrap book in a sociology presentation I had done in university. The topic was that we as a society enjoy sports and entertainment because they are structured in a way that is nothing like our own lives. One of my examples was professional wrestling. Anyway, I'm sure the great literary mind of Mr. Reynolds has been of great inspiration to me and many other students around the globe.  The question is, and Blade seeing as you're in the process of writing a book now your insight here would also be appreciated, if you had to compare yourself to a great literary figure of the past, who would it be and why? Blade as Michael von Erich writing his diary. RD as Fritz von Erich shouting at him.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Buttocks?  Butt out!
    Vincent McMahon's ass.
    He says that it can do tricks.
    Make it disappear.

Minisode #044 Corporal Kirchner: Dead or Alive

by iggy

November 3, 2006

Corporal Kirchner is like Schrodinger's Cat.
RD's story about giving a trick rather than a treat
RD dressed as Magnum P.I.
Corporal Kirchner calls.
Who's Becky?!

#no longer with us #super mustache

044 What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?: November 3, 2006

What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?
(80 minutes)

Sad News: Corporal Kirchner died, according to WWE dot com.

Weird World of Wrestling has returned. Tease Club. RD doesn't like strip clubs because he was made fun of at one. (:12) RD talks about males being undressed at strip clubs. Blade remembers when his girlfriend called him for some random pictures of a wrestler she found on his computer.

In December, Rewriting the Book will debut. Jed Shaffer is on the phone to talk about it. (:20)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:31): RD plopped some ice cream in someone's bag. Fun-sized bars are not fun. Blade looks like a hobo. RD was Magnum PI this Halloween, complete with glue-on mustache.

Obscure Wrestling News (:41): 30000 dumb people have bought Brooke Hogan's CD. Egomania is heritable. Among their releases (:47) WWE will release a Rey Mysterio Jr DVD called the Biggest Little Man. WWE will release a Wrestling's Greatest Families DVD. Vampiro will release a DVD about Vampiro.  [... in Canada.]

Mail Bag: Daisy Tweeter (WrestleCrap Listener #25) makes a Batista pun. (:53) Zack Gator wants Vickie Guerrero to appear in Playboy. (:55) RD explains James from Kentucky, who wants Vince's phone number. (:57)

RD's favorite wrestling show is now TNA. (:59) Vince Russo's Invitational Inverted Battle Royal: 15 men try to climb in, 7 men throw 5 out, and then a one on one match. The Boogeyman has returned.

Blade hit the bottle because Lita may leave WWE. (:67)

Corporal Kirchner calls "you horse's ass". He sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:70)

Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku:
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The Mike Von Erich to my Fritz Von Erich, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Madison Carter
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 7. Websites hosted by Global Internet, awesome guys, you being the man, wetting yourselves in joy, insecure, that, Hulk Hogan’s money
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 1. E.T. The Extraterrestrial on the Atari 2600
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jed Shaffer, Corporal Kirchner
  • F-Bombs: 4. Blade (3), Corporal Kirchner

  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 1

  • Mailbag
    • Daisy Tweeter: Hello RD and Blade, WrestleCrap Radio Listener #25 here. My question is: since Batista is known as the Animal, and is currently doinking Rebecca DiPietro, does that mean she is in Batistiality? No need to answer.
    • Zack Gator: Should Vickie Guerrero be the next WWE Diva to do Playboy? Blade subscribes to Plump magazine.
    • James from Kentucky: Do you have Vince McMahon's home number? Because I keep phoning his office and he doesn't return my calls. P.S. could you say hi to my friend Alex in Puerto Rico? Hello Alex.

  • Blade Braxton’s Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku: Corporal Kirchner fills in after murdering Sergeant Haiku Blade.
    I'm Corporal Kirchner.
    I'm fucking alive, not dead.
    My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.