Episode 88: Holy Malt!: April 30, 2023

Catwoman Goes to College
February 22, 1967
"Catwoman is released from prison, and claiming she wants to enrich her education, enrolls at Gotham City University. She dresses one of her own henchmen as the Caped Crusader in order to frame him for a robbery. With Batman in jail, she goes ahead with her plan for a mass sit-in at Chimes Square. Catwoman is more than surprised when Batman himself shows up at the event. However, his efforts to expose the villainess are futile, and she prepares to terminate him and Robin in front of the whole crowd."
65 minutes

RD Hates Coffee More Now. He doesn't even have a WWE Niagara Falls Cup to not drink coffee from! Vince doesn't need any coffee, hated or otherwise, since he feels so energized during the recording. It also doesn't hurt that they're doing a Catwoman story. He complements RD for his note taking for the both of them. 

Narrator: "Gotham State Penitentiary, an impregnable fortress under maximum security, where rehabilitation, not punishment, is the keynote." (:08)
The prison looks more castle than fortress, where Catwoman, having survived taking a dip in the river last appearance, does stretches in front of Warden Crichton and "millionaire" Bruce Wayne. The Warden tells her she has been granted parole - but only on the condition that a board member ("heaven help him") will be her parole officer. And of course it's Bruce.
Catwoman: "Warden, I owe my life of crime to the fact that I was a drop-out. I'm going back to Gotham City University to immerse myself in education."

Narrator: "Late the next night, a curious happening takes shape in one of Gotham City University's hallowed halls. A student prank? Or a feline scheme of that university's most recently registered student?"
An "actual size replica" statue of "Patron crimefighter of Gotham City" Batman is stolen by what 'kind' RD charitably calls middle-aged students wearing beanies, which one of them drops. 

RD has fun with winding up Vince, in this case by not know about the Beany and Cecil show.

This prompts a call on the Batphone at Stately Wayne Manor, which Bruce answers directly. (:15)
Gordon: "I'm not certain if this requires your attention, Batman, but some strange goings-on have been going on."
Bruce: "Who is it this time, commissioner? Joker? Egghead? Riddler? King Tut?"
Gordon: "I don't know. A statue has been stolen at Gotham City University."
Bruce (rolling his eyes): "Sounds like a freshman prank to me."
Gordon: "Perhaps and then again, perhaps not. The statue was a full-sized replica of you, Batman."
Bruce: "My graven image, eh? We'll be right there, commissioner. (To Dick) To the Batpoles!"

In the Office the Undynamic Duo remain "utterly baffled" by this "dumb fraternity stunt".
Batman: "As you may recall that statue was made from a perfect mold of my body."
Robin: "And the costume is an exact plaster duplicate of yours."
Batman: "Precisely, Robin. This theft may be the first step in some diabolical imposture of myself."

Surprisingly the police actually do their job and have "the beanie in question" for Batman to look at, since otherwise he would have to investigate over 3100 university students who all have the same hat size (6 and 7/8).
Batman: "Do you see what I see?"
Robin: "Depends. What do you see?"
It is a strand of red hair that Batman can run through the Batcave's "electronic hair Bat-analyzer".

Meanwhile Catwoman is finishing sewing a Batsuit in her lair in the basement of the Eta Beta Lotka sorority house. She asks her goon Cornell to mimic a taped Batman.
Batman (taped): "Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen for all your applause, but I don't really deserve it."
Making sure the voice match is purrrrrfect, she asks her other goon beanie-less Penn to put the statue back after taking Brown's beanie before she has to go to Batman giving a guest lecture. Cornell responds by trying out the Batsuit with his impersonation. 

Robin is also attending, quietly expressing doubt at Catwoman taking "Elementary Criminology".
Batman: "Good day, students. I'll begin by remarking that criminology, like other sciences has made remarkable strides over recent years."
Robin: "Batman's right, students. We catch more crooks in our Batcave anti-crime lab than in the field."
RD has his doubts on this.
Batman: "For example, last night a certain statue was purloined right here at Gotham City U.This beanie was found at the scene of the crime. There was one strand of red hair caught in the fabric. I have microscopically analyzed it and here are my findings. From this single strand of hair, I've been able to determine that the man is 6 feet, one-and-three-quarters inches in height, is 36 years old, has flat feet, wears glasses, speaks in a deep voice and suffers from hay fever."
RD: "He's like 56 years old."

Catwoman sets off the bell with her remote control Catradio, but Penn sneezes anyway. He takes off and the Duo try to give chase, but the other students all crowd around to stop him.
Catwoman: "Now, if all you students will just clear away, Batman and I would like to be alone."
Batman: "What makes you think so, Catwoman?"
Catwoman: "I just thought it would be so amusing. It would be the first time you weren't trying to arrest me, and I wasn't trying to murder you."
Batman: "Very well. Just a second while I retrieve my beanie, my hair, my tweezers, and my notes."

This requires a trip to the nearby malt shop, which the Bros prefer over shakes. (:27) So do Batman and Catwoman, each sharing one with a double straw.
Catwoman: "I'll bet every female criminal in America would swap her time off for good behavior just to change places with me."
Batman: "I'm flattered."
Catwoman: "As soon as I graduate I'll be coming to you for a job."
Unfortunately for her Robin's still around.
"Well, maybe by that time he'll be all grown up and on his own."
Batman: "I can't tell you how happy I am about your change of heart. You seem to have lost all the  egotism that once marred your great beauty."

They lean in for a kiss - and then Robin again comes in to do his job of crimefighting cockblocking.
Vince: "I just fantasize about the guy who was sitting down literally typing this out on paper."
Robin tells Batman someone looking like the Dark Knight was seen robbing a supermarket. Before they can move a police officer enters.
Officer: "Don't move, you costumed kook! We've got you covered! You're under arrest for knocking off a supermarket!"
Robin (after some random beats of silence): "Who the heck are you?"
Officer: "Name's Courageous. Captain Courageous. Just arrived here from Los Angeles under the police exchange program."
Robin: "Holy Hollywood, an out-of-towner!"
The Bros wonder how he could not know when some episodes ago the whole world was worrying over Batman's supposed death.
Batman: "I've been here all morning sipping a soda with Catwoman."
Courageous: "Ha! Who's gonna take the word of a 50-time loser?"
So Batman is arrested, but he does get his one phone call. He requests Robin to call "the firm name of Alfred & Alfred."

In his Office Gordon hears of a "spontaneous demonstration" of...loitering to be led by Catwoman that evening in Chimes Square. He orders O'Hara to send everyone there. 

In the holding cell Batman is met by his lawyer Alfred Serge Tort, "attorney-at-law, specialist in  felonies, misdemeanors, and over-time parking tickets." (:35) With a smuggled in Bat-makeup case they use it to swap looks as disguises. BatAlfred looks so excited to once again pretend to be his employer (even in prison!) while Bruce is somehow allowed to go free with no questions asked. 

Back at the Office Captain Courageous reports on arresting "some joker" named Batman. This sends Gordon into a fit. "Release him and release him fast!"
Courageous: "But... But... But..."
Gordon: "You do very clever impressions of a motorboat, captain. Get moving!"
He then calls Stately Wayne Manor to inform Bruce of Catwoman's demonstration. " I'm certain there's some illegal reason behind it.You're her parole officer, aren't you?"
Bruce: "I guess I haven't done a very good job, commissioner."
Gordon: "Still, I must award you an E for effort."
RD: "I should note that E is a lot closer to F than an A, so I would also give him an E for effort."
Courageous: "Commissioner, the Batman's escaped! Tied up a lawyer and walked out in disguise!"
Gordon: "Hahaha! Good old Batman. No jail can hold him, not even ours. He's probably at the Batcave  already. You'll learn soon enough not to doubt the masked manhunter!"
He then calls back Bruce (on the Batphone this time) to tell him about "Catwoman's latest peregrinations," not noticing that he sounds exactly the same as millionaire Bruce Wayne. Of course he already knew about it and states he will be there.
Dick: "Holy crystal ball. How'd you know the Batphone was gonna ring?"
Bruce: "Elementary. I'll explain on the way down. To the Batpoles!"

In the Batcave the Bat-Calendar finds a few events that Catwoman may hit. (:39) Besides a "prize cat show at Gotham City Square Garden" the closest hit is "the Batagonian cat's-eye opal sale at
the offices of the Forever Jewel Company." To the Batmobile! 

At the lair a Goon thinks the opals are bad luck.
Catwoman: "Pish-tosh! That's a superstition not grounded in fact. Anyway, they're worth millions. ...  As per my plan, Batman is languishing in some jail. And the befuddled police will have their gloves full just clearing those misguided students off the streets. Cornell, go and get the Catillac and bring it round. We're gonna transform Chimes Square...into Crime Square!"

She manages to find a ledge there to oversee a crowd that's more massive angry mob than a few dissatisfied students. Against her command to "go to it", without any sort of saying what "it" is, Batman tries to counter with a megaphone.
Batman: "Go back, students! Go back! Go back to your homes and hearths! Can't you see she's trying to lead you down a thorny path?"
Somehow this works and the crowd disperses, though Catwoman is not deterred. 

Narrator: "Moments later, atop the Gotham City Chimes Building, Catwoman deploys her forces in the blinking light of the Crespie's Coffee mechanical billboard."
This consists of an enormous setpiece contraption that may have taken a huge portion of the show's budget, of which the Duo are Bat-climbing up to. 

While on the way up they are stopped by one of the other major aesthetics of the episode,elevision presence Art Linkletter.
Linkletter: "I was hoping to revive my TV show People Are Funny, but I can't seem to find any
unusual people in Gotham City."
Batman: "No, this is just an ordinary, fine, upstanding metropolis. Not many weirdos."
Robin: "Any particular types in mind?"
Linkletter: "Oh, someone perhaps with a strange costume."
Batman: "No, most of those characters like Joker, Penguin, King Tut are safely locked up."
Linkletter: "Maybe somebody with a dual identity or a unique approach to a problem. I'm climbing the
walls looking for them."
Batman: "I wish we could help you. But we're just a couple of ordinary crime fighters going about our mundane business."
Linkletter: "I see. Well, thank you for your interest. Maybe I'll give up the whole idea."
Robin: "Too bad. It's a great show."
They climb up.
Linkletter: "Costume? Dual identity? Climbing the walls? (Shouting up) HEY BATMAN!"

Catwoman and goons await the Duo with a giant coffee cup.
Batman: "Oh, Catwoman. Catwoman, will you never learn?"
Catwoman: "Men! Two obstacles stand between me and you and a life of splendor and plenty. Eradicate them!"
The Duo have no trouble with the stunt doubles.
Robin: "You're a blot on the name of Gotham City University! When the students find out what kind of a person you really are they'll hate you for forever!"
Catwoman stalls for time by finding her Catkerchief to pretend cry into, then gasses them. "Fools! Don't they know that tears are a woman's most effective weapon?"

So the Duo are tied inside the coffee cup as a percolator of sulfuric acid coffee is prepped to pour onto them once a minute.
Catwoman: "So if you get that searing feeling in your stomachs, it won't be heartburn. It'll be all burn."
Robin: "Holy caffeine!"
Catwoman: "And best of all, everybody will see you go up in smoke." (The crowd is down below.)
Batman: "You have a perverted sense of the dramatic, Catwoman."
Catwoman: "You're absolutely right."

Narrator: "What an ignominious end! Scalded in a coffee cup? Could this be it for the Dynamic Duo? Are Batman and Robin still good to the last drip? To learn the agonizing answer tune in tomorrow! Same Cat Time! Same Cat Channel!"

RD has to do a lot of work maintaining the Arcade machines. 

RD wrote about WCW yet again being disorganized. He extols his love of Extreme to Vince.


  • Special Guest Villain: Catwoman [7] (Julie Newmar) [6] 

  • Entertain The People:
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Interesting
  • Window Celebrity: 2. Art Linkletter, Stanley Adams as Captain Courageous (A well known character actor, including enterprising Tribble handler Cyrano Jones on Star Trek)


    Episode 87: Holy Lake!: April 23, 2023

    Legends of the Superheroes (1979)
    "A teamup of some of DC Comics' greatest superheroes together, for 2 specials: a race to stop the united supervillains' plot to destroy the earth, then later a roast in tribute to all of the heroes hosted by Ed McMahon."
    The Challenge
    The superheroes only have one hour to find Dr. Silvana's Doomsday Machine before it destroys all life on Earth. Their only leads are clues left by the arch villains, each one of which might be a trap."
    49 minutes

    RD is Not 4'6" since he is no longer in Vince's studio. He puts over Vince's old man. Vince puts over RD's muscles. 

    RD wonders why the villains want to get rid of everyone else. Vince wonders if they had any women to accompany them besides Giganta. Also they were supposedly going to lure the Justice League with a riddle. Also the Justice League was supposed to meet up at a gas station.

    Instead we have the Dynamic Duo in a breaking apart fake Batcycle after running away. RD: "Maybe they should have renamed Robin Chicken." 

    Back at the gas station "Women in Phone Booth" watches Hawkman fighting and getting beat up by Solomon Grundy who ties him to a forklift. (:11)

    Black Canary then makes her entrance on her motorcycle in a very curvaceous look. Grundy defeats her and also ties her to the forklift.

    In the Lair Riddler has now changed into a Great War fighter pilot for some reason.
    Riddler: "
    If Shakespeare had had my mind, there's no telling how far he might have gone."
    He might even rename himself the Puzzler!

    Then back to...footage of Captain Marvel "flying" (in the most generous use of the term). Then cut to Huntress running through a park. Then cut to Marvel just walking. He reads some signs making him doubt himself. This summons Riddler dressed still as a fighter pilot as a psychiatrist with a beard and random British accent.

    Vince reads the IMDB pages for some reason. His reading of one confuses RD fleetingly.

    Marvel tells about his problems while he and Riddler are in the woods. All of a sudden Riddler becomes Yosemite Sam. 

    All of a sudden Vince finds a print ad for casting for the special. Oddly, while Superman and Wonder Woman could not be included due to rights issues, Aquaman could - but he wasn't. 

    Anyway, this is all part of Riddler's plan to relay the Lair's location (in a lake) rather than just telling him outright. Marvel figures it out anyway, and goes to the gas station to challenge Grundy in...tire throwing. (:23) Actually since they threw really far, Marvel uses the distance to send Grundy off to 'check', thus winning by default. He unties his two colleagues.

    Woman in Phone Booth somehow knows that they want a lake and where it is. Canary uses her power of...shouting really loudly to draw in the others. 

    Everyone gathers at the lake, annoying Mordru to no end. RD: "You wanted them to find you!" (:25)

    So Mordru unleashes his secret weapon...a lemonade stand.

    Of course the heroes trustingly and openly drink some. Well actually there is a reason. It's even worse.
    Sivana: "
    Lemonade, mister? Only five cents a glass!"
    Marvel: "I don't have time for that now, son."
    Sivana: "Oh please sir, please. My ma is sick, and I'm raising my brother and sister, and were gonna get evicted tomorrow and my father's in jail and my grandma croaked and they wouldn't bury my grandma until I come up with the money."
    Marvel: "Alright, here. Keep the change."

    The heroes are thus unaware of the secret ingredient that would dampen their superpowers. Unless they actually knew but did it deliberately to themselves to make a fair fight. 

    The Dynamic Duo don't have any so they just drive straight into the lake which somehow puts them on jet skis. Mordru gets his own jet skis, some disco music plays on the soundtrack, Flash gets a canoe, Lantern and Marvel get rowing, and the women have...a paddle boat.

    Everyone is conveniently at last in the Lair.
    Riddler: "
    Gentlemen: we've had our fun, the game is done, the heroes we've outclassed./It proves what we've always said: nice guys finish last."
    The villains decide to have celebratory martinis...with the secret ingredient inside it.
    Unless they actually knew but did it deliberately to themselves because they're all idiots.

    Cue what RD considers the worst fight he ever did see because everyone is just fighting normally, despite Robin going on all fours for a schoolboy trip. Of course the heroes stop the device (to applause) and defeat their foes and Batman carries Riddler on his shoulders.

    "Hours later" Retired Man tries to fly away...but he's so old he cannot. 

    The End.

    Vince did not see the Roast because his disc has a bug preventing him from playing it. He wonders why in the ads for that West and Ward did not get much promotion beyond a small byline. (:32)

    However Vince wants to go back to the regular series for a bit first since he didn't really like it. He wonders what West would want from this appearance (besides money and a chance to revive Batman). RD ascertains that for Vince to open his "tape world" CD Warehouse it too would take a lot of money.

    RD checked to be sure that Laugh-In was around his time.

    RD is overseeing big rotational changes to the Arcade.


    • Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [6+1] (Frank Gorshin) [5+1]

    • Screen Shares: 2. Vince, Vince
    • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Shouting
    • Window Celebrity: 2. Jeff Altman, Marsha Warfield


    Episode 86: Holy Ralph Nader!: April 18, 2023

    Legends of the Superheroes (1979)
    "A teamup of some of DC Comics' greatest superheroes together, for 2 specials: a race to stop the united supervillains' plot to destroy the earth, then later a roast in tribute to all of the heroes hosted by Ed McMahon."
    The Challenge
    The superheroes only have one hour to find Dr. Silvana's Doomsday Machine before it destroys all life on Earth. Their only leads are clues left by the arch villains, each one of which might be a trap."
    66 minutes

    RD does not have a title because he is live in studio, the first time the Bros have met in person. (He was in the area for his actual working job.) Vince gives him a chair that makes him half a foot shorter. 

    RD: "It's what Mr. Potter did in It's A Wonderful Life. I feel like George Bailey."

    Vince has no idea about today's entry, a TV variety special with some of the more well known DC superheroes and villains. With the Dynamic Duo's case they had the Riddler, once more played by Frank Gorshin even if 11 years after the show's cancellation. 

    RD knew about the other superheroes to inform Vince. This includes Green Arrow's Black Canary who had rather different powers here than the norm, and Helena "Huntress" Wayne, daughter of Catwoman (and Bruce). 

    RD only found out about the specials from DC Universe (before some of its content shifted to HBO Max) and watched them with Mrs. Deal. (:06) He didn't expect much, and it didn't disappoint. Vince didn't much want to see people making an appearance just for the paycheck.

    Vince makes sure his Dave Meltzer soundbite machine works. RD is both impressed and depressed. "Someone's a little obsessed." 

    RD had to rewatch the specials during the layover flight from Las Vegas to Denver, unlike Vince who only saw the first. 

    We first meet our Justlice League of America superheroes (:16): Captain "Shazam" Marvel (Vince doesn't think he's a superhero despite utilizing the fury of the gods), Green Lantern (ditto despite his "lame" power ring), Hawkman (who has a bird call among his arsenal), the fairly new Huntress (with "beauty, cunning, and physical prowess" as well as a crossbow), the Flash (RD could not understand the Narrator's description about his superspeed), and Black Canary (who also has a bird call among her arsenal).
    "Robin: With his reckless grin, devil may care courage, and incredible gymnastic skills." Cue a stunt double constantly flipping.
    "Batman: His symbol a frightening creature of the night, his disguise strikes terror in the criminal heart."
    Everyone stands around in a semi-circle. Vince sits closer to the screen, dwarfing RD. 

    Narrator (obviously different from our regular series one): "Somewhere in a secret hideout, the archenemies of the superheroes are coming up with a diabolical plot to destroy the entire world."
    Their leader of this Legion of Doom is Mordru (the Merciless), who wants to get rid of everyone else so they can...boss themselves as the sole survivors or something.
    RD: "It'd be like we destroy the world and it was just me and you. ... I'd find a roof to jump off of."
    For some reason Mordru's shooting off of fire and lightning from his hands triggers the laugh track and Vince's befuddlement. He leaves the roll call of their group to Riddler and his slightly different outfit which threw Vince off. There's Sinestro (who uses his power ring to shoot at Riddler), Weather Wizard (enemy of the Flash, making his live action debut being played by a young Jeff Altman by throwing snow at Riddler), Giganta (enemy of Wonder Woman and originally a test subject ape, who tries wrapping a pipe around Riddler), Solomon Grundy (who tries throwing a boulder at Riddler), and Doctor Sivana (enemy of Captain Marvel). He wears a really bad bald cap while running their world destroying device.

    Walking through Vince's house full of stuff made RD realize why Vince always thinks there's a warehouse somewhere of Batman props and sets. 

    The supervillains need some way to "trick" the JL to come to them, which for some requires riddles. Unfortunately Riddler is only given an hour to make up one. He just needs two seconds.

    Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice Heroes, Batman says a few words. (:32)
    "Fellow Superheroes or, in deference to the ladies, Super Persons, we are gathered here tonight to pay tribute to one of our former colleagues, and perhaps the greatest superhero of all. When many of us were, ahem, still in short leotards, this man was saving the world virtually single handedly. Lets have a warm, super welcome for: Retired Man."
    Retired Man reclining in a rocking chair was once called Scarlet...Something...Cyclone. RD found Vince's 92 year old father to be more lively.
    Vince can't find much on some of the cast on IMDB for some reason. 

    Vince took RD to Mile High Comics which he greatly enjoyed, including the life sized Jar Jar Binks statue. (:37) Vince almost bought a LJN Luscious Johnny Valiant figure. He plans to take RD to an Italian buffet. He'd rather talk about that.

    Anyway Batman tries to gift Scarlet Something which summons a riddle off-screen. Robin the Boy Wonder Teen Thunderbolt ran off to get it without bothering to put on his leggings first, causing Batman the still Dark Knight to call his underwear-clad ward a "laddie boobie". The riddle gives them 50 minutes (out of 60) before their world destroying device goes off. 

    So the League splits up to solve it. The Duo get in a rather odd looking Batmobile (not noticing Sinestro tinkering with it beforehand) and ask the others to meet them at a nearby gas station. 

    At their Lair Grundy disguises himself by wearing a hat, then gets to the gas station where the Batmobile coincidentally has engine trouble (which has nothing to do with how cheap it looks). In a phone booth a "wacky mama" (as RD wrote) played by a young Marsha Warfield, is telling the other end about what is going on: "there's a pointy-eared guy that just showed up, and a guy in hot pants and leprechaun booties." Grundy starts attacking the Batmobile so Batman charges at him - and loses, due to not having his stunt double or speech bubbles. 

    So the Duo just run away. 

    Riddler writes the next riddle on a stone, leading Green Lantern in very tight tights to a fortune teller in a park. (:48) The teller has Lantern write something to determine that he is in fact a superhero. "Give my regards to Tonto," the teller requests of him. From this Lantern figures this is Sinestro's doing, so it's their turn to fight with their power rings. Lantern prevails and sends Sinestro's stunt double flying in a flip. 

    Vince wonders why NBC didn't hire actual actors like they did on the show. RD: "Because they had 47 characters on here. ... You have the temerity to say that Ruth Buzzi isn't top level talent?"

    Weather Wizard takes his turn in a disguise as the Duo visit him at Honest Al's Used Cars. He offers them a Volkswagen Beetle. Batman wants to make sure the vehicle is road worthy, despite Robin's impatience: "Holy Ralph Nader!" "Al" tries to help by making the driver side door fall to the ground. Unfortunately Batman only has $50 on him, which barely covers a budget Batcycle. 

    Back at the gas station Hawkman flies in to fight Grundy. Woman in phone booth: "I ain't coming home for dinner!" Grundy overpowers the hero and ties him to a hydraulic lift. Vince reads more diversions on IMDB and accidentally hits the rimshot button.

    Anyway the Batcycle splits cleanly in two and goes in different directions in the split of the special, as RD has to explain his joke to Vince.
    Narrator: "Will the Caped Crusader and the Teen Thunderbolt fall victim to the villains' plot? The world is at stake! Stay tuned!"

    Vince decides to watch it afterwards, particularly as it is now when Black Canary arrives. 

    Vince now reads the articles on WrestleCrap. RD: "I'd like to think I'm friends with everyone."

    The Bros swap spaces so RD can finally have his chance at being huge. Then he has to end the recording.


    • Special Guest Villain: The Riddler [6+1] (Frank Gorshin) [5+1]

    • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Parking out the door
    • Entertain The People:
    • Screen Shares: 1. Vince
    • RD Time Outs: 1
    • Window Celebrity: 2. Jeff Altman, Marsha Warfield

    Episode 85: Holy Jokemobile!: April 9, 2023

    The Joker's Last Laugh
    February 15, 1967
    "Counterfeit money is being distributed by respectable citizens in Gotham City. Batman and Robin investigate, and find one of the Joker's lifelike robots substituting for a bank teller. They are certain who is behind the crime. But to get actual proof, Batman plans to visit the villain as Bruce Wayne and trick him into disclosing his operation. When his scheme suddenly backfires, it appears he will instead have to appoint the Joker as Vice Chairman of the Gotham National Bank."
    The Joker's Epitaph
    February 16, 1967
    "The Joker is now Vice Chairman of the Gotham National Bank, due to an unsuccessful plan of Batman's. He installs his robots as tellers, and despite his criminal past, seems to be running things in perfect order. The Dynamic Duo realize they will have to trick him into making a mistake in order to remove him. They go to work on a plan to gain control of his robots. But that plan is jeopardized when, due to an odd turn of events, Batman's true identity Bruce Wayne is declared mentally ill and hauled off in a straight-jacket."
    83 minutes

    RD: Says Economics IS Dull was away overseas the previous week. (Vince jokes he went to Gotham.) The Bros make up for it by making fun of McMahon's black marker hair. RD references The Fly.

    Vince sleeps with one eye open.

    Both forget that the episode originally aired on Cesar Romero's 60th birthday.

    Narrator: "Outside the Gotham City National Bank, wealthy young socialite Miranda Fleece is about to perform an act of charity."
    The Bros agree she is more attractive than the Joker's actual girl Josie. despite the rather dubious surname. I think it's more for the piece of clothing instead of her being a potential con artist.

    She gives a $100 bill to a bum passer-by, who immediately finds it's counterfeit because it's only printed on one side. "Help! Police! Fuzz!" he shouts off the top of the head. 

    Office Gordon is already "baffled" by this, one of a string of incidents "being passed not by criminals
    but by well-known pillars of society ... It's almost as if some deranged mind were trying to taunt our very sanity."
    Suddenly a Joker laugh is heard, which is such a heinous deed that -
    Gordon: "Once again we take our poor cracked pitcher to the Caped Crusader's well."

    At Stately Wayne Manor:
    Dick: "Gosh, economics is sure a dull subject."
    Multimillionaire businessman Bruce: "Oh, you must be jesting, Dick. Economics dull, the glamour, the romance of commerce, it's the very life blood of our country's society. Frankly, I can think of nothing  more stimulating than economics and commerce - "
    Alfred: "Begging your pardon, sir. It's the telephone in the study, sir."
    Harriet: "Mercy alive, the way that boy [Dick] changes his mind. I wonder if he's over-tired."

    Gordon: "Words are superfluous." He plays the Joker's laughter over the phone.
    Dick: "Holy funny bone, The Joker!"
    Bruce: "Courage, commissioner, courage. Joker seldom has the last laugh. To the Batpoles!"

    The Duo come to the Office over the titles, where Batman makes the great deduction that Joker is trying to make them equally mad.
    Robin: "Joker knows we'll need every ounce of our sanity to outwit his filthy plot."
    They adjust their Bat-Detector for "super laugh track sensitivity" to track the sound comes from a loudspeaker somehow in Gordon's left cuff link somehow planted on there by the "agile" Joker. This leads to a tubed antenna in the left trouser leg which he pulls out from the waist.
    Robin: "Holy chutzpah."
    Batman: "This [counterfeit] was passed by an innocent dupe?"
    RD considers changing his display name to Innocent Dupe.
    The Duo go to investigate a "shady bank".

    The Joker makes his lair in..."Penthouse Publishers, formerly innocent purveyors of mirth". This is though completely unrelated to the then active Penthouse Publications, only based in the UK at the time. (:15)
    Joker (to his moll): "Oh, this continued mirth is exhausting, even for the Clown Prince of Crime. That  dunderhead Gordon, he couldn't find a haystack in a needle factory. No, you can be quite certain, sweet Josie Miller, the failure of our tiny receiver means Batman is on the job."
    Josie: "Gee, I'm not very glad to hear that, Joker."
    Joker: "My foolish, trepidatious child, he's not headed here. Why even as we speak, you can bet he's racing to the bank and doom."
    He summons two goons named Yock and Boff to prepare, and two waxen robots do some stretches.
    Joker: "Comically lifelike, aren't they? They were my manual training project last spell I did in that filthy penitentiary." (What, all two weeks?)
    The robo-goons demonstrate their strength, and then an alarm sounds signifying the Duo's arrival at the shady bank. The villains all speed out to watch on the "roving robot recorder".

    At the bank the branch manager, one Mr. F Flamm, claims no involvement in the counterfeiting. The only development was his head teller. "He went out for a sandwich at noon and didn't return. He did send in a substitute, I'm pleased to say, Mr. Glee."
    Of course he is a robot. Banks were certainly more trusting in not doing their due diligence in checking their employees, huh.
    Batman: "Good afternoon, Mr. Glee. I'm Batman."
    Glee: "Obviously, sir."
    Batman notices Glee's collar button and pokes it, giving observing Joker a fit that he's touching his hidden camera.
    Riddler Batman: "Tell me, Mr. Glee, why is a collar button like an old pile of burning automobile tires? Answer. Because they both choke."
    Glee responds by exploding.
    Robin: "Holy clockworks, a mechanical marvel."
    Flamm: "I'm flabbergasted, Batman. How on Earth did you know that was a robot?"
    Robin: "Simple, Mr. Flamm, even the most infallible robots have one defect. They have no sense of  humor. Batman told him a funny joke. [Emphasis mine] When the creature didn't laugh that was proof."
    Batman: "Well, you wretched ruin, I guess we'll take you back to the Batcave. One last warning, Mr.  Flamm. The next time your chief teller goes out for a sandwich, and sends a stranger back in his place, scrutinize him carefully. I'm sure I speak for the chairman of the board, millionaire Bruce Wayne, in saying that you owe that to all of your depositors."

    This is all by Joker's plan though, because they can use the homing beacon in Glee's remains to track the Batcave.
    Joker: "Quick! To the Jokemobile!"
    Cue everyone trying to fit into a Ford Model "Mongrel" T (previously used in an Elvis movie).

    Of course the Duo are aware of the tracker.
    Robin: "What'll we do, Batman, lure them into an ambush and bash them with our Batarangs?"
    Instead they use their Bat-Deflector to send them elsewhere. What they think is the labelled secret entrance to the Batcave is in fact a small manhole labelled "Laugh, criminals, laugh!"
    Needless to say Joker is enraged: "I'll have it! By all the saints of wicked mirth, I'll have it! The last  laugh will still be mine!"

    In the actual Batcave the Duo place Glee on the  "Integro-Differential Robot Analyzer" but find nothing unusual. Thankfully they have Alfred's "keen sartorial sense", who notices the sleeve buttons are all wrong. Batman takes a sample for the "Bat-Spot Analyzer" and detects printer's ink.
    Batman: "Transferred to the cloth when that cheapskate pressed his robot's wear in his printing press."
    Alfred: "Bless my steam iron, how revolting."
    Batman: "Revolting, indeed, Alfred, like the colors of these inks: arsenic green, rotten apple red, bilious blue. I believe there's just one sort of legitimate printing firm that would employ such hues."
    Robin: "A firm that prints comic books."
    Batman: "Right again, Robin."
    They link it to newly sold Penthouse Publishers, sold to one "W. C. Whiteface".

    At the lair W. C. Whiteface continues to be in a foul mood. An intruder alarm goes off, triggered by...Bruce Wayne. Sorry, millionaire Bruce Wayne.
    Bruce makes a show of being "ruined, bankrupt, wiped out", to Joker's confusion. "I hardly dare ask it, Mr. Whiteface, but do you know anyone who could print me up a batch of counterfeit currency?"
    Joker: "What a curious request to make of a legitimate business man such as myself."
    Bruce: "Yes, I know it does seem a bit odd but you see, I foolishly succumbed to the temptation of  speculation with the funds of the Wayne Foundation, and the results were catastrophic. Tomorrow is the annual accounting and if I don't have 1 million dollars in cash I will be headed up the river without a paddle. I chanced to be thumbing through one of the comic books that you publish and it struck my eye: the inks that you use are identical to the inks used by the United States Treasury."

    Josie suspects a trap, but Joker thinks there may be some truth to it even if so. And Bruce says he will appoint him Vice Chairman of Gotham National Bank for his cooperation.
    A now intrigued Joker agrees to help by providing a sample, so Bruce secretly signals Robin to break in through a window.
    Joker: "Robots, give him a whimsical whammy."
    Cue Robin Victor Paul fighting solo. He does so well that Bruce joins in by colliding into the robots. An even more confused Joker activates the "Robot Super Strength Last Ounce Of Energy" switch to let the robots win.

    Robin is then tied to a comic book press about to be smashed.
    Bruce: "Mr. Whiteface, this is murder."
    Joker: Well, how true, Mr. Wayne, yes...and just to ensure against a double-cross, you will perform it."

    Narrator: "Indignities of indignities! Robin printed into a comic book? Bruce Wayne his old chum's killer? For the crushing finale, tune in tomorrow! Same Battime, Same Batchannel!"




    The Bros find the episode titles rather morbid, especially as Joker still remains to cause more havoc and mayhem. But to Vince nothing can be as bad as BatAlfred keeping his beard. He probably got that from the Joker('s mustache). (:35)

    The Bros again mock McMahon's attempt at a mustache.
    RD: "He had Burt Reynolds at a Wrestlemania!"
    Vince thinks Dutch Mantell had the best mustache.

    Narrator:"When we last saw the Boy Wonder he was about to be printed into a horrible human comic  book, and Bruce Wayne was being forced to push the switch that would stamp Robin's doom. What way out? Frankly, this observer fears there's none. The answer in just one moment. ... 

    But on the street below the doomful scene, trusty Alfred has a Batman plan."

    Yes, it's time once again for Alfred to wear the cowl.  

    Alfred (on a Batcommunicator): "Master Robin, Mr. Wayne, sir, do you read me? Do you read me, sir? ... Oh, dear. Bless my vertigo."

    And so Alfred Batclimbs up the wall. RD would watch him do so all day. Jack LaLanne would have been a window celebrity for it.

    Alfred breaks in through another window with Bruce again ventriloquisting his voice. He throws a Batgas canister to drive the goons away through a suit of cards as a door.
    Robin: "Gosh, yes, I should have thought of that."
    Bruce: "No, don't blame yourself, Robin. It's sometimes difficult to think clearly when you're strapped  to a printing press."

    Unfortunately to aid his initial plan Bruce made an actual legally binding document for Joker to be Vice Chairman, which he managed to take.
    Robin: "Holy bankruptcy."

    Sure enough after the real Batman dons the cowl and they return to the bank branch, Joker has already made quick work in installing his robot tellers providing counterfeits. (:44)
    Joker: "What can I do for you? Perhaps a small Batcave improvement loan?"
    Flamm: "Mr. Whiteface has this branch in apple pie order."
    Batman: "Are you aware that your new tellers are actually a pair of robots?"
    Flamm: "Oh, well, yes, I did suspect that, but our customers find them positively charming, and our  mid-day audit was correct to the penny."

    ...Did Joker just invent personless/automated banking? Never mind online banking, this was two years before the first ATM went into service (in nearby New York). He could have legitimately made a fortune that way. 

    Robin: "That twisted mocking fiend! What's he up to?"
    Batman: "All too obvious, he's playing honest to set the stage for a criminal coup that will stagger our imaginations."
    Seeing him and Josie exit the building they attempt to follow: "from the look on his face, they're off to rob a church poor box."
    Joker: "Why, you impertinent flying rodent. Miss Miller and I are off to see my associate, millionaire Bruce Wayne, on a most important matter."
    They get in the Jokemobile. Robin thinks the vehicle is not street legal, forgetting the one they already drive in. They shout really loudly that they're driving away in the Batmobile, and on returning home they immediately inform Alfred of Joker's visit.

    Above ground in Stately Wayne Manor, Joker has a tape recording of Bruce asking for his "help".
    Dick: "Gosh, Bruce, how could you?"
    Bruce: "Temptation, Dick. A sudden drop in the stock market, a search for an easy way. It's ruined stronger men than myself. So, Mr. Whiteface, what's the point of your gloomy reprise?"
    Joker: "Blackmail, Mr. Wayne."
    Dick: "You ungrateful devil. Isn't it enough that Bruce appointed you vice chairman of the bank?"
    Bruce: "Don't dip your oar in this sordid sea, Dick. You might get besmirched."
    Joker: "Imagine my ghastly situation, Mr. Wayne. Legally installed in the bank but watched like an  insect by that infernal Caped Crusader. If I misappropriate a dime, the Bat will pounce."
    Bruce: "Yes, I can understand for someone of your dubious character that might prove annoying."

    Joker will publicly release the recording unless Bruce gives up the dead bodies of the Duo.
    Bruce: "That is impossible."
    Dick: "Bruce Wayne may be a crooked embezzler, but he's not a killer. Right, Bruce?"
    Bruce: "You phrase it well, Dick. Since the murder of my parents by dastardly criminals violence has  been anathema to me."

    So Joker has a backup plan: have Bruce marry Josie for $3 million.
    Josie: "I'll be faithful forever in my fashion. I'll love you until the oceans are hung up and dried."
    Joker immediately informs a paper so that a next day newsie can headline: "Millionaire Bruce
    Wayne to wed reformed gun moll, banker's pretty protégé."

    In the Office the Undynamic Duo shirk their jobs by remarking on the situation...then calling Batman for some reason.
    Gordon: "Batman, have you read the dire news about Bruce Wayne?"
    Batman: "Love is blind, commissioner. Bruce Wayne is over 21. I fear there is nothing we can do. (To Robin) She's a fetching creature, Robin. Bruce might find it not without certain pleasures."
    Robin: "Holy madness, Batman, I don't dig this. Bruce Wayne didn't embezzle, that was just a ploy. Joker's blackmail threat isn't worth a tinker's darn."
    Batman can't really tell the truth, since doing so would reveal his true identity. He does have one thing he can use: Glee's remains.

    Narrator: "Watch out, Bruce Wayne, for as the Caped Crusaders toil, a strange meeting takes place in Commissioner Gordon's office."

    The two "policemen" are still obsessing over the match enough that they have actually brought in one Dr. Floyd to determine that Bruce is suffering from "the well-known second childhood syndrome" which mandates sending him to Arkham Asylum "some mental institution". (:57)
    Gordon: "Chief O'Hara? Alert your anti-lunatic squad. If Batman won't help us, we'll do it ourselves. Bring in millionaire Bruce Wayne in a straitjacket!"

    At least the Duo have managed to revive Glee ("in the name of justice").
    Robin: "Holy Frankenstein!"
    Batman (rubbing his hands together): "Now the fun begins, Robin."
    Alfred calls to inform him of O'Hara's presence, so Batman whispers his plan to his protege. 

    This plan does involve Bruce being taken away in a straitjacket to "Happy Acres". Alfred informs Robin, who in turn tells Alfred to again put on the site to drive the Batmobile. 

    Cut to Bruce riding with the anti-lunatic squad in a blue van painted black, as the Batmobile follows at ludicrous speed. Robin fires a Batray to open the doors, then uses the Batmagnet to pull him out, where Alfred has a spare suit for him instead of "this overly tailored jacket.". The clothing transformation behind a bush only takes three seconds, then the Duo are away. 

    Gordon is brought with the Duo to the bank as they tell Joker of Bruce's mentality, once again infuriating the Crown Prince to no mind.
    Josie: "Joker, never mind, we've still got me and Brucie."
    Suddenly Glee appears, calling her his wife.
    Gordon: "So that's your game, aiding and abetting attempted bigamy!"
    Meanwhile the robot tellers begin outright robbing the customers. 
    Batman: "Don't look at us, Joker. We just dropped in for that small Batcave improvement loan that you mentioned, but in view of the strange criminal activity that seems to be transpiring here..."
    Joker verbally takes back control of the robots so they can have their fight.
    Batman: "That's the trouble with robots, Robin. They lack even the most minimal sense of loyalty."
    Cue Joker's ridiculous looking stunt double once again engaging with the others. His wig doesn't even match!

    Robin: "It was all a bluff, Joker. We didn't have one darn thing on you until you ordered those robots to try to kill us."
    The Bros wonder if there was any villainous plan at all since things were all over the place.
    Josie: "Batman, if ever you see Bruce Wayne, tell him...tell him it might have been fun."

    Vince still does not like the women being older than they appear to be, and at 30 years old too.
    RD: "When you worked with any women in wrestling did you ever tell them that at 30 years old you're too old?"
    Vince gives her some points for "a nice clev-age shot" but it's still only a "kind" 6.5 Batpoles. RD also gave her 6.5 for being "completely average in every way".
    Phyllis Douglas was the daughter of the well known assistant director Ridgeway Callow, whose work on Gone With The Wind gave her an appearance at just two years old as Bonnie Blue Butler. Her work was mostly in the 50s and 60s, leaving the industry for real estate until her passing (in 2010).

    The Bros once again mock McMahon for trying to look like Clark Gable. Although I'm sure he (frankly) would not give a damn. 

    At the Office, Dr. Floyd gives Bruce a physical examination to determine that he is in fact totally recovered. (:71) "Without doubt, the bump on the head when he accidentally fell from the paddy  wagon restored him among us sane peoples. If only I could make a similar examination of the head from the Fledermaus Mensch."
    Gordon: "The brain of Batman, oh, miraculous!"
    Bruce: "I'll make you a bet, doctor. If you were to have the opportunity to study Batman's brain with all its myriad flaws. I think you'd find it not terribly unlike my own."
    O'Hara: "Mother of mercy, get the smelling salts! Mr. Wayne is having a relapse!"

    The Bros found the story lacking, even with a German doctor. RD is reminded of Bobby Heenan doing a similar skit. 

    Reminder: WrestleCrap has been going on for 23 years now.

    Instead of watching the next story (of Catwoman), the Duo are to instead go over 79's Legends of the Superheroes. RD also plans to visit Vince in Colorado by then.


    • Special Guest Villain: The Joker [7] (Cesar Romero) [7]
    • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Bad, The fuzz
    • Blue Van: 1. (Black)