Minisode #134 Shane McMahon Is on the Loose

by iggy

January 30, 2009

Popeye's has a bowl meal too.
Shane at a Circle K
Models & Bottles
Shane at Arby's
MegaTrolla confronts Shane

#blam #here come the money

134 The Incredible Shane: January 30, 2009

77 minutes

Well the votes are in, and the 2008 Gooker goes to...Mike Adamle. While it's certainly a welcome addition to the anal canal of WC, I feel the Million Dollar Mania was left out and is something that should also be given its due. This compels me to keep a track of how many days it will take until that terrible angle gets an induction of its own on the site. I trust Iggy can help me keep track of the tally too? [Sort of. It's more of a Countup. —Iggy]

250 days as of October 3, 2009

The brutal attack on Vince McMahon by Randy Orton has enraged Shane, making him eviscerate everyone in his path on RAW. But enough of that, let's watch some part of some random match with Blade's FYBA outdoor ring! Although I have to admit the match is more exciting than your average TNA showing (and has a larger crowd too).

Although the MegaTrolla is still missing the TrollaCorp has a way to communicate with it using a Motorola DynaTAC 8000X stored in the thing's mechanical penis. (:08) Hey, it IS "Yesterday's Technology at Today's Prices" so you can't complain about truth in advertising. RD also has some Shane-O-Trolla (:10) to help track Shane's rampage, and the thing is shaped as a giant closed fist like the logo. Blade wants it to fist RD, though I'd prefer it to summon Shane into the show like the Candyman and teach these two a lesson.

RD remembers his first TRIP to the library and his Get In The Ring interview. (:17) Blade will also auction a related GITR book if all goes well. RD's TRIP was to his nearby KFC, (:20) where he had a 'Stoner' Bowl. [Cheese AND gravy!? —Iggy]

The Shane-O-Trolla activates, its music humoring Blade. (:25) (It's Thin Lizzy's Fighting My Way Back) The thing 'opens up' revealing a screen in its open palm, which is certainly something neat. (but definitely not in the past. Is this actually a product from the Trolla of the Mirror Universe?) Somewhere at a Circle K in Poughkeepsie, New York, RD in a bad clerk voice annoys Shane, and his theme music beats him up. Where's Rorschach when you need him? RD prepares to make a 'report' for the 'cops'. Hey, make an extra one for Congressman Waxman too while you're at it.

Obscure Wrestling NEWS (:29) is derailed by the Superbowl. Blade is rooting for Arizona, but he's also a fan of the St. Louis Cardinals and Cleveland Browns.

(As for Farmer and I, we've made another friendly bet on the outcome; Iggy has the Steelers by 7, while I in return have the Cardinals. The loser has to watch and review the Royal Rumble '95.)

Our old friend the Tranny is in some random party in Tampa Bay with Kelly Kelly and some other 'celebrities' (:32) RD likens her to Steve Lombardi which is an insult to Steve Lombardi. The producers behind WSX want to revive GLOW (:39).

The Shane-O-Trolla opens again. (:42) This time he's in an Arby's drive-thru and beats Blade with his theme music for failing to give him his beef and cheddar. Wow, he gets everywhere. He must have a TARDIS secretly stowed in his vehicle.

The HorseTrolla lifts her tail (:44) with good news for Blade; Mickie James is in an adult film. Hit the porn music! (The NSFW link can be found here)

RD considers once again giving prizes for the Question of the Week. (:51) This week's man Frank S is a former employee of Circuit City who has plans for his TRIP to the Unemployment Line to be a new segment for the show. Bring him on, I say, he's got to be better than what we have now!

RD makes a call to MegaTrolla's anntenna. (:55) The Decepticon is looking for the Allspark in Poughkeepsie. Oho, can you spot the wackiness of him being on a collision course with Shane? Hee hee hoo! Emperor Braxton issues Order 66 to eliminate Shane. Boy, I'm sure NOTHING will go wrong here.

Current Wrestling News (:58) consists solely of further talk of The Wrestler. Marisa Tomei should wrestle as a Diva instead of Mickey Rourke (preferably not as a Diva). Blade saw the movie and greatly enjoyed it. There's discussion concerning the will he/won't he status of Rourke's Wrestlemania appearance. Blade gets a third strike and is outed for saying Sean Penn won an Oscar for playing a comically awful retarded man in the awful I Am Sam (he won for being 'normal' in Mystic River). I'm glad they mentioned Shanghai Surprise though. Blade does a bad Spicoli and wants Penn to have sex with a man. Now THAT'S what I call Method acting.

Sure enough the Shane-O-Trolla starts up (:68) as Shane's theme music defeats MegaTrolla with some bad special effects. Whoever didn't see that one coming...We mourn our first TNA casualty for a full minute. These TNA guys are like Harry Potter's Defense of the Dark Arts teachers at Hogwarts, always being replaced each year. But wait, is he still alive...? [I may have heard, "I smell Funyuns." —Iggy]

AC/DC is to play at Wrestlemania.

Seventeen Syllables featuring the worst AC/DC impression you'll ever hear in your life (in normal voice):
Oooh! AC/DC.
Guess Vince loves Angus Young now.
Poor Billy Gibbons.

Minisode #133 Don Boogies

by iggy

January 23, 2009

Circuit City is closing.
David Lee Roth fills in for MegaTrolla.
Don Mason Boogie
RD went to the toy store
Blade knows about Rocky toys

#wooo #hurtin' me

133 The All-Interactive Happy Hour: January 23, 2009

78 minutes

This week's show is a "full 180" from last episode (not a full 360 though?). The MegaTrolla has escaped from the WC HQ, and RD hopes for him to return. Blade is drinking too, so it looks like things are back to the status quo. Meanwhile AngryMarks is stealing the 12 listeners, only 7 remain (or are new 7 people, we don't really know) (:06)

Sad News: Circuit City is closing. (:08) Blade is maliciously happy about this. Blade listens to old shows in his sleep and dreams of the elusive BM Punk. (:11) Upcoming new segments are 'teased'. Blade thanks the people who bid on his auctions and who directly donated to him, myself included. A random unopened cereal box featured in the Shoot Interview is being auctioned (with free shipping too!). (:14) The WC Book of Lists Exclamation Point was third in the Wrestling Observer Book of Year running behind an enjoyable book on Gorgeous George and Ring of Hell. (:15)

Trip to the Grocery RD's Trip to the Toy Store (:18) hijacked by Blade's Hitting the Bottle. For some reason we YouTube the Theme to WKRP In Cincinnati and the follow up New WKRP Theme. To counterbalance that Blade presents the Don Mason Boogie. The only thing of note of RD's trip is finding Frank Stallone action figures. Do they sing "Take You Back" and "Pushin'" when pulled? Blade: "Wouldn't you have fun on the beach in spandex with Carl Weathers?"

Obscure Wrestling News (:32 in!!!): Paul Heyman has opened a gym. There's no word if he'll do his Hustle in it though. (Actually that's just a rumor, nothing is being built involving him. Although if it were built it would definitely attract more customers than an average ECW house showing. Strike One against our Co-Hosses.)

Some nonsense about Simon Dean. Blast of Demolition (seen here on his explosive MySpace page) is now a motivational speaker. Sad News: Torrie Wilson's clothes store is out of business (in my earnest opinion it was probably less due to the recession and more that it was a general fucking disaster.) If it helps any her site is actually working right now, albeit terribly out of date. We search her site for a bit and listen again to her terrible remix of Right Said Fred. RD has not heard of something called a "mute button"

(Actually she's just moving shop, perhaps for [again] getting better business than the handful of people she may be normally getting. Strike Two for our Co-Hosses. In the same news update it also looks like Jake "The Snake" Roberts has his own web-site. Let's hope he doesn't use it while drunk; it needs to be classified as heavy machinery for just that purpose. Or even worse - it consists entirely of pictures of his penis.)

[From the future: Actually scratch that. The whole thing has officially vanished from the intertubes.]

Question of the Week from "The Real Nathaniel Matt the TNA Fan" (:48) is on...favorite TNA moments. (Well why not?) Blade liked one involving Jasmine St. Claire doing some sort of soft-porn type of things. Hey, they don't call it TNA for nothing!

Speaking of TNA our temporary Correspondent is introduced with a MIDI version of Jump. Oh boy, this can't be good. (:55) Sure enough we're subjected to sound clips of 'David Lee Roth' hooting and yes-ing. Sadly despite all this he doesn't have any particular sound bites of actually watching TNA maddening RD. But you know what? He's easily my favorite TNA guy yet. He needs to make a return, particularly with a duet-trio-quartet with Johnny 6 and Nathaniel and Stubby.

David: No!
Johnny: I-like-big-breasts.
David: Yeeeaaahhhhhh!
Stubby: You all suck big fat cock and deserve to die! Hah hah hah!
(Laugh Track)
David: Wooooohoooo!

Current Wrestling News (:64). RD saw The Wrestler and wrote about it in his Ramblings. He discusses it a bit with Blade. We remember the "New and Improved" episode with that RATT Opening and that episode where Blade sounded like the Burgess Meredith Penguin. There's some talk about surprise run-ins for the Royal Rumble. Also Randy Orton punted a big one on Vince's head.

In honor of that skull-fucking, Seventeen Syllables:
Randy kicked Vince's head.
But hey, why should he stop there?
Please punt Stephanie.

Minisode #132 Sad

by iggy

January 16, 2009

Angry Jim
Don Mason defiles a man in a wheelchair

#allspark #wasted

132 The Sad News Show: January 16, 2009

66 minutes
"the saddest darkest WrestleCrap Radio ever"


Sad News: the passing of beloved actor Ricardo Montalban, him of Khan Noonien Singh and Fantasy (Booking) Island. RD suggests not listening to this week's depressing episode and is nostalgic for the good old days of the Tee Hee Tickle Party. (:03) On the other hand, he DID once want a sad news special edition of WCRadio in the future (according to Iggy), so this could all be just another gimmick in an attempt to raise ratings. Next you'll tell me someone's been raped.

Sad News: Blade was at a strip club but Don Mason was not. (:05) RD gets through his sponsors in (monotone) record time as Blade stifles his 'laughter'. In a much more serious and darker note, Blade is not doing good either with his incurred debts and his mother sadly passing away before Christmas, and to alleviate his situation he is auctioning some of his stuff online, which includes some Katie Vick props (which can be found on his eBay user name Hobo Auctions).

RD's TRIP to the Sad News. (:12) RD turned 40 and is probably feeling the first effects of a mid-life crisis, which he found from his celebrations which involved him driving an hour to a Denny's-like restaurant. Sad News: a drunk Don Mason once urinated on a cripple.

Obscure Sad News (:23): WWE cut 90% of their staff and 85% of their roster which included Val Venis/Sean Morley, Sgt. Slaughter, D-Lo Brown (RD likens him to Nathaniel), and Ron Simmons. Blade does a bad Butch Reed impression. A WrestleCrap Goth Carnival is mentioned, but sadly nothing about kicking a leather-clad white face-painted Vincent in the balls.

Dr. Death Steve Williams is now working for Southwest (:33). Angry Jim Ross calls to discuss it. He also sings Happy Birthday to RD, and is rewarded by being angered off the air when RD calls him out on how he treats the hard working Doc.

Question of the Week from the Engineer, the "only happy thing this week" (:40) asks what other career opportunities Mickie James would have if she left WWE. Speaking of Mickie James...the HorseTrolla also has Sad News (:46) - she was in a car accident. But she's thankfully alright.

The MegaTrollaTron 7800 didn't watch TNA again this week, he was also too depressed while looking for the Allspark. Sure enough, more Sad News: "Optimus Prime is a son of a bitch," he says.

Current News finally has music, (:55) but that's the only good news we get. Sad News: The Duo's favorite pizza-making Diva Victoria is fully retiring from wrestling. The Co-Hosts reminisce of her baby kissing days. Sad News: Cousin Junior has passed away. (:61)

Seventeen Syllables:
Dark day in Mud Lick.
Cousin Junior is now gone.
Tears in my moonshine.

[I wonder though. If this week was so depressing why didn't they just skip recording for this week and pick it up again next week like they did a few times before? Hmmm, quite odd...]

[Schadenfreude. I think it's the reason I like WrestleCrap in the first place. --iggy]

Minisode #131 Inquisition

by iggy

January 9, 2009

Congress investigates wrestling.

#tna #virgins

131 No Improvement: January 9, 2009

75 minutes

Because of a friendly bet Farmer Iggy and I made over the Canadiens-Penguins match last month (of which my beloved Habitant won 3-2 thanks to a Andrei "The Giant" Kostitsyn hat-trick), he has to write a article of his own too, and a nice complimentary one at that also. (That is the one right below this one.) Knowing our track records with this fine radio progrem and the quality of this week in particular...I pity him, I really do.

RD is busy with some 'recent' Waxman report on the wrestling industry, much to Blade's chagrin. RD reads a portion of the testimony in a bad Dixie Carter impression. "Have you seen the 40 Year Old Virgin, Sugar?" (:03)

RD is refocusing himself now on the Radio Progrem, delegating Triple Kelly to take his place writing new inductions for the time being. While I support it dearly I fear that he may call on ME to take Blade's place for his columns (should he actually update them), a position I fear I'll utterly fail at. (:11) There's also a new hosting site for the WCR episodes, slowly being updated as I speak. RD does his 70's J.Jonah Jameson impression. He should do it like this man. Blade is sober this week for a change. (:16)

Speaking of Waxman, RD and Blade were called on for some sort of related hearing by a Quentin "Q-Tip" Arnold. RD secretly recorded some of it with a wire. Some time is wasted listening to the funky People's Court theme music which arouses RD. (:17) We learn the show's 12 Listeners consist of 7 Unibomber-style shack males, 3 shut-ins, 1 deceased and known to be sick, and Robecca DiPietro (who again favorite-d that Car Ad commercial thing again - make up your mind lady!!!).

Our show is "full of wrestling news" which we won't actually get to hear about. (:25) The 2009 Gooker voting has begun and the nominations gone over; Vince's Million Dollar Rickrolling Mania, a confusing TNA Love Triangle (including the mystery of So Cal Val's missing nose), Mike Adamle, "Obama" vs. "Clinton", Braden Walker (RD personally wants him to win so he could have him on the show; remember that they did shows together), Divas Championship, Santino vs. Cousin Sal, and the TNA Fish Market Street Fight. Personally my vote is split on Adamle and the MDM. A search for Maryse's photos is made, RD thinks of her as greasy. She looks fine to me, so what's wrong with you???

Obscure/Sad News: Lord Littlebrook is ill. The good news is he's not suffering from pneumonia. (:36) Blade took a leak next to his son at a strip club. Some smack talk of the Colts and Lions is made. (:41) The Iron Sheik is accepting bookings for public functions to humble you old country way while getting heavily drunk. RD thinks he has a curly penis.

More of the Q-Tip hearing. (:44) The crickets fail a drug test. RD killed five people last year.

Question of the Week (:53) once more from Ultimate Kennedy (7) (who also sent the two Christmas gifts, that fine man) indirectly brings up the WrestleCrap Carnival. Unfortunately there is no mention of kicking Virgil in the balls.

The new TNA correspondent MegaTrolla marches in with bad sound effects (:59). He cuts to the chase in his first week on the job by not watching TNA at all as he was looking for the Allspark. Still, he's the best TNA correspondent by far. Of course, that's not really saying much.

Some more of the Q-Tip hearing. (:63) Questions of Robecca's fake breasts and phone number make RD suspicious of their questioner. "We cock blocked Mr. Tip!" He defiantly says.

Current News consists solely of Vince returning to TV despite having his legs 'crushed' in that million dollar mess. (:68) RD wants Don Mason to pee on Vince and thus challenge him to a match at Wrestlemania. Vickie Guerrero nudes were posted on (and just recently removed too).

Seventeen put this episode of WrestleCrap Radio to bed:
Vickie's birthday suit.
We got to see her black box.
Time for Summer's Eve.