Minisode #158 Sam Houston

by iggy



September 25, 2009

Mt. Dew Throwback
Sam Houston
Rockin' Robin sings "America the Beautiful"
Gymini on clearance
Johnny Four
Angry Jim

#matt houston #plastic

158 Going down the YouTube: September 25, 2009

82 minutes

The new induction this week is of Sting: Moment of Truth, a film made on literally a $1000 budget. Thus we listen to Survivor's Moment of Truth and read more confusing comments. (:02) The Midnight Rose will wrestle October 3rd at some grill somewhere in Kansas. Blade confuses himself by somehow thinking he's the Rose and vice versa.

No Trip again this week (:14) but RD wants to know about Mountain Dew Throwback made with real sugar. Blade just wants to do porn. He could make the movies and watch people perform, which is TOTALLY not perverted at all.

Obscure News (:17) Have you thought about Sam Houston today? He's been jailed for violating his probation. RD and Blade still play his MIDI theme song. Sister Rockin' Robin also 'sings' America the Beautiful for our enjoyment at WrestleMania V. RD thinks that could be the new WCR intro. Blade repeats himself. Trish Stratus is making some yoga game (:35) "Like Mr Potato Head but with boobs," says RD. (So, like Mrs Potato Head then?) We go down the roster for Hulkamania in Australia, with something about The Kwicky Koala Show. Sad News: The Boogeyman is missing. More Sad News: The Gymini Dolls are now on a $11 clearance.

Question of the Week: (:52) Crouton Kinley wants some love advice. Blade suggests wearing a mask, which is perfect for committing adultery.

Johnny Four appears. (:55) Lacey Von Erich is in TNA. J4 says something about her being in the Beautiful People due to her plastic breasts rather than a plastic foot. Angelina Love finds an excuse to escape TNA, thanks to being an Illegal Alien. Jim Ross calls (:67) to talk about nothing in particular, like the show.

Current News (:71) Lillian's last show is this week. There are talks of Howard Finkel replacing her. Cedric the Entertainer guest hosts badly on RAW. Random celebrities seem to be chosen to guest host, including that wrestling bastion Dennis Miller.

Seventeen Syllables on Dennis Miller
Dennis Miller RAW
Obvious Vince never watched
Monday Night Football.

Minisode #157 Going Brunette

by iggy



September 18, 2009

Trish Stratus goes brunette.
Sir Alec reads some New Jack.
Ivan Koloff's facebook rules
Blade sings about Mickie James's busted implant
Midnight Rose calls about Trish
RD feels like singing about Tom Brady
Johnny Four
Angry Jim
Blade sings Brown-Haired Trish

#pelican #feisty

157 I can't get no Stratusfaction: September 18, 2009

74 minutes

RD is angry at Trish Stratus' new brunette hair color. Of course Blade thinks otherwise.Even Gay Popeye turns temporarily hetero at the thought, which for some reason makes his music longer than normal. RD tries to persuade them with a haiku.

Trish is now brunette.
What more can I really say?
The thrill is all gone.

Oh, so we can leave early then?

Wait, there's another hour of this left to go.

Fuck.

Still no Celebrity TRIP (:11) so instead Blade has to make do with more on Gymini dolls. Bad news, none have been sold this week. Good news though, a plastic sticker has been stuck on the back of the damaged Doll so it can join the rest.

Obscure News: (:17) Blade needs to reach the 5000 friend capacity on Facebook. Ivan Koloff has a strict screening policy on his networking sites - Blade fails all his requirements. RD looks at Blade's student referrals on his Facebook page. New Jack is once again acting like a drunken fool on Myspace so Blade has Sir Alec read his drunk bulletin. (:29) The Zombie is now a father! RD wants him to give parenting tips on the show. The HorseTrolla says Mickie James' implants have burst. Blade needs to sing about it, so he does. (:38) In response the Midnight Rose calls with Tony's Theme; he likes Trish too now. (:40)

Question of the Week (:43) from Brian J. who wants to know why he should watch RAW when football season is upon us. RD saw the Pats vs Bills game and insults the Bills. He doesn't like Tom Brady either so he sings about him. Blade doesn't like it so he sings another song against him. Thankfully he only gets so far, so he tries again with another angle. That also fails.

RD gets Johnny 4 for his line of the week. (:52) "Jim Cornette got fired fired fired stay away from dairy queen queen queen queen queen," he says. "Worst TNA Correspondent ever." RD replies.

Jim Ross calls in to gloat. He's still on the hunt for Dark Journey, AKA Linda Newton, who seems to have taken a Dark Journey off the face of the earth.
Drugs? Naaah!

Current News: (:60) Hulk Hogan has a wrestling company named Hulkamania touring Australia in November, of which he is in the main event against Flair. Blade saw the only copy of Brooke Hogan's new CD which terrifies him. He tries to link her songs to wrestlers. Jeff Hardy has been arrested for drug dealing, and may be facing jail time for opium, of all things. Blade shows his support for him through a loud burp.

Blade sings for his new love Trish.

Minisode #156 Lying There

by iggy



September 4, 2009

The Fall of WCW
Sir Alec reads about cake.
Don Mason watches operations on tv.
The Inglorious OTG asks about DQ.
Mickie James is 30.
Johnny Four arrives.
Stubby took uppers.
Michelle McCool is still lovin' life.

#headbutt dynamite #hydrox blizzard

WrestleCrap Fan Fiction Theatre Episode 8: "Karma"

"Karma"
Written by Hybrid Dolphin
As narrated by Sir Alec Heineken


There were cake ingredients everywhere. Flour on the counters, frosting on the ceiling, eggs spilt on the floor, and, for some reason, there was the empty cake mix box hanging from the ceiling fan by a few dozen hair ties. John Morrison shifted his gaze from one mess to another, sighing angrily,"Jeff Hardy, where are you?!"

When there was no reply, John kicked off his shoes,"Damn boyfriend. When I find him, he is sooo dead." But when he looked around the room again, he tied back his hair with one of the many hanging hair ties,"I might as well clean up first."

John grabbed the mop, dust pan, and various sprays before getting to work.

It took about an hour before John got all of the mess cleaned up. The kitchen practically sparkled and shined with freshness. A tangy orange smell drifted through the room, into John's nose, and out his mouth,"Perfection. Now, to find Jeff." He peeled off his rubber gloves and apron, which were covered in the mess that he cleaned up, and turned to leave the kitchen, when he was greeted with the smiling face of Jeff Hardy. Well, he couldn't really tell if he was smiling, because there was too much cake around his face,"Hey John!"

"Jeff, did you attempt to make a cake again?" John raised an eyebrow, hands on his hips.

"Nooo~~o," Jeff playfully said,"I actually did make a cake this time."

"And I suppose that the crap all over your face is that said cake?"

"Yeppers, and I ate the whole thing! And I ain't got a tummy ache eith-" John held his stomach,"Ow. Never mind."

John sighed and rubbed his lover's stomach,"Got a tummy ache?"

Jeff nodded again and whimpered.

The California-native grinned a bit and picked his lover up bridal-style, carrying him into the living room,"Rest. I'll get some medicine."

"Thank you, Johny."

"But does this teach you not to make a mess of the kitchen and eat so much cake?"

"O~~~~ooh. Don't say cake."

"I'll take that as a yes." And with that, John went off to find Jeff some medicine with a grin of accomplishment.

The end.

156 Flashback: September 4, 2009

77 minutes

The RAW match between Big Show and Mark Henry gives RD flashbacks to the last time they fought, when the Co-Host was heel managing the World's Strongest Man. His wrestling career ended that very day when Big Show used his mighty skillet hands on him, dooming him to doing radio progrems like this one. Co-Host Blade Braxton, professional comedian, has no sympathy for him, seeing as he has a tailbone injury from St. Louis still. He wants talking animals on the show. I thought Stubby was one? Sad News though. (:09) Good Friends cereal is no longer being stocked at Blade's grocery. Average news - that old and decayed Gymini figure is still hanging on for dear life.

:14 As expected from last week, Stevie J of Angry Marks calls, and immediately mocks RD reading their ad copy. They mix it up for a while as Blade falls in love with Stevie. Mr. J then taunts Damien Demento, asking him to go after his site instead of WrestlingCrip.com. I don't know, knowing the man, I fully expect him to attack us next. SPEAKING OF Demento, Blade will have yet another Big Announcement concerning him. Sigh. RD of course does his Gay Popeye, continuing his schizophrenic trend. Let's move on.

No TRIP to the Grocery, Celebrity or otherwise (:24) so Blade is forced to fill in the gap with Sir Alec calling in. This week, can John Morrison and Jeff Hardy make a cake together?

Obscure News. (:32) Sadly Wrestlicious has yet to get a TV contract, even though it's supposed to debut right about now. RD looks at Oxygen's schedule on the earlier Thursday. Don Mason used to watch womens' operations on Lifetime. Gay Popeye has no friends. Shane Helms was Twittering while drinking. Meanwhile the Lions manage to barely defeat the Colts. SPEAKING OF drinking Candice Michelle is Captain Morgan's Morganette of the Month - not falling far from the tree I see. She's hosting a bra & panties match "in the near future if it hasn't happened already." Let's check the Captain at his site! The HorseTrolla lifts the tail for Mickie James' 30th birthday.

The Inglorious OTG has this week's Question (4) (:49) but he just uses it for bad jokes. Hydrox cookies are no longer with us.

Mrs Deal calls on RD's door with something for him (:55) which turns out to be the new TNA correspondent. Somehow Blade had the time to go to a garage sale to buy something for him. Say hello to the TrollaTron 2600, Johnny Four. (It's an older model.) RD predicts disaster already. What does he have to say about Traci Brooks not being in Playboy Magazine? "No sticky pages, it's going to be a sticky keyboard." Then he becomes stuck and just rolls over. So Stubby is summoned (:64) just to give RD an excuse to call him a rascal.

Current News. (:67) WWE's Rise and Fall of WCW DVD isn't so good. RD collects Midnight Express scrapbooks from Jim Cornette. We Librarians and this very here site are again fine young eggs. (I prefer to be scrambled though.) The Shockmaster was on RAW.

Seventeen Syllables to Fred Ottman:
Shockmaster returns.
How will Fred Ottman respond?
Tugboat in a dress.