Random Thoughts from the Office: March 14, 2010

This week has been a tough one to decide what to write about hence it being late, the Monday night battle was started anew between Raw and Impact and it ended with Impact drawing a 0.98... There's so many things I could say about the first night on television but I've pretty much said my piece on the Wrestlecrap forums already so I'd just be repeating myself. Instead I'm going to focus on one thing in particular: The main event of Impact. Eliminate Styles and Abyss from the equation, they're perfectly acceptable wrestlers to have there. I want to focus on Flair and Hogan, both huge names in the 80's and 90's, still big names with wrestling fans today, but watching them wrestle in the main event I got to thinking.

At what point does a wrestler stop being an icon we want to see and start becoming a object of our pity as a broken down shadow of the hero we once knew desperately chasing one final payday from a business who like an abusive spouse, they can't seem to break away from?

Now I freely admit I'm not a Hulkamaniac nor was I ever. I can't say I've liked a lot of what he's done in TNA but I freely admit bias in his regard. "The Nature Boy" on the other hand, was one of my heroes growing up as a wrestling fan, he had it all: charisma on the mic, a great gimmick, limos, Lear jets, champagne, caviar. He both infuriated and entertained anyone who ever watched him as one of the mainstays of the NWA and WCW. What really made Ric Flair so special though was he didn't just say he was the greatest wrestler around, he actually went out there and proved it night after night after night. He was the original "Broomstick" wrestler (So called because the thought was he could wrestle a broomstick and still have a great match). Then in 1991 it all changed; the first real shock of wrestling happened as Flair fell out with the guy running WCW at the time, Jim Herd (who promptly fired him) and jumped ship to the WWE. There was Bobby Heenan on WWE television with the NWA championship belt saying that the "Real World's Champion" was coming to the WWE. When Flair joined fans around the world sat up and salivated at the thought of the dream match, Flair vs Hogan, finally coming true. Of course it never happened, for reasons unknown but probably not limited to "Vince McMahon is a giant dumbass". He only lasted in the WWE about 18 months before going back to WCW where he stayed till they closed in 2001. After the pathetic Invasion angle the WWE tried to save face by bring Flair in as a co-owner, which pretty much started the "Brand Extension" that we live with now. But eventually he got into the ring regularly and started having great matches again.

But like all great heroes in any sport there was one opponent Ric Flair couldn't beat: time. The moves became less sharp, the matches less classic and slowly but surely he became someone who was less the wrestler I regarded as a hero but more a pale imitation. Even Ric himself saw the writing on the wall and so it came to be at Wrestlemania 24 Ric Flair had one last great match against Shawn Michaels and walked away into the sunset never to be seen in the ring again.

At least until Impact.

(And don't get me wrong, he wrestled in Hogan's Australian tour as well but with the promoter going broke those matches are never likely to see the light of day.)

It's why Ric Flair is regarded as such a great professional, always helping out where he can while seemingly unable to break away from the business that made him a household name, and the more I see him on Impact the more I weep.

Now don't get me wrong, Ric Flair even today at least interview wise is better than 75% of wrestlers out there; he can teach the new generation of superstars a lot about how to get a crowd involved and hating (or loving) you. However, the Ric Flair of today is not the Ric Flair I grew up idolizing. Time has slowed him, a lot of what made him the greatest superstar in wrestling is now gone. While he will always get a great reaction from people for me he's tarnishing a legacy earned over three and a half decades of service.

I understand that people need money, those alimony commitments won't pay themselves after all, and I also understand this is the only business Ric Flair has known, but there comes a time when you have to look yourself in the mirror and ask "Is what I'm doing hurting me or helping me?" The day that Ric Flair can do that and answer himself honestly is the day that he will finally cement his status as a true legend.

His moments in TNA even today for me will be something to cherish, he'll always be entertaining. But I do pray, for the sake of his legacy that last Monday's Impact was the last in-ring goodbye for the Nature Boy.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

169 MenstrualCrap Radio: March 12, 2010

75 minutes

A new Monday Night War has developed with RAW and Impact going head to head. But it can't do anything to cure Blade's menstrual fetish though. He's also interested in the ages of wrestlers for some reason, like some pseudo Art Donovan. One of those wrestlers is Hungry Hungry Ken Patera.

RD's TRIP (:14) is sponsored by Popeye and Blade's bad jokes.

Obscure News (:20) Stacy Keibler was at Elton John's Post-Oscar party (sponsored by Popeye.) RD is mystified by those gatherings oddly enough. The Iron Sheik was arrested on a flight for being his usual drunk self. Blade wants to be Popeye for some reason.

Tylene Buck is currently doing some sort of webcam thing, proof of the healthy post-career of many a wrestler. But hey, at least she has no pubic hair! The Co-Fs look around Maryse's website randomly and listen to random music on Leila Milani's site. But what about her pubes, are THEY shaved? [I like to think she's had them fashioned into a replica of the Wrestlicious logo - "Showstealer"] Blade makes his only actual joke of the episode when he wants to see Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Mare/Mane, complete with soundbite.

The HorseTrolla tells us Mickie James has been sidelined from wrestling from a staph infection from some leg surgery, which is an excuse for Blade to indulge his foot fetish (but shouldn't that be a hoof fetish in this case?) The BabyTrolla tells us that Nipple H is pregnant again.

Screamin' Cheech has one of the wittiest Question's I've heard recently about musical groups. (:51)

WWE completely dominated TNA this week so Blade has to be that Ratings Reaper guy again. His TNA Peter Gazer guy is still a no show so RD has to do his Dixie to kill time even MORE than they normally do.

Current News (:60) JR may return to WWE in time for Wrestlemania, so the Co-Fs call him up. Now he's angry about people constantly emailing about Joanie Laurer when they SHOULD be instead looking for that blasted Dark Journey.

Seventeen syllables about Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan on TNA:
New Monday Night War.
Same old Nature Boy Ric Flair.
Bloody Mount Rushmore.