256 Kitty Little: November 28, 2015

"Just buy some damn tubs!”
89 minutes

RD has seen just about all the old Christmas movies so he is forced to watch newer (and worse) ones, one of them so bad he will be writing about it next week (after having subjected his wife to it too). Sadly it is not that “naked” Dusty Rhodes Christmas movie that was released in a January.

Blade makes his “joke of the week”. (:05)

Blade's Royals have won the World Series after 30 years and the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau after 24 years. He recorded them on VHS (:07) Meanwhile Payton Manning is not growing younger and Andrew Luck is getting more injured. RD does his "David Carr rant".

Oddly enough at no point does their football expert call in to give 'advice'. I guess it's because no one unique of note was injured this week. I say unique because Tony Romo was injured. Yes, again. Poor guy can't catch a break (or throw one for that matter). I just hope he doesn't get traded to the Jets.

According to yours truly WWCR is six (freaking) hours long and has scales. Like a fish? And it gets played twice. So 12 hours long then? (:12)

RD surprises himself by not listening to the ad copy beforehand as if to avoid spoilers. Blade remembers he was looking for a Co Hosss “coach” from the earlier/interim Show. Yes, what a surprise he didn't follow up on that. Or his Big Announcement. Truly it is such a shock.

Also he can't count.

Also WC is still sponsoring itself. (:16) Their Black Friday Sale includes a discounted Archives at $12.95. That's like $2 off if I can't count either. They also have those Amazon links that give them some money when used to buy stuff. Like the new Death Of WCW, available in physical and Kindle format!

:20 The Festive TRIP to Black Friday music is loud on RD's side, but for some reason Blade says he can't hear it.

The duo have been on so many Black Fridays Blade needs a list to keep track of them. Well, SPEAKING OF lists, I wonder which reference site has a easy to search lid of all their Black Friday outings...

RD went to Mayer's where he was confused by how much kitty litter was being bought by so many people. This included a family of five prematurely aging rednecks discussing it. This includes the “stupid” mother wondering why it's not spelled “little” instead of litter and the father quoting: “honey, it's so much cheaper than the *bleep* you buy. Just buy the damn stuff!”

Yes, the man probably censored himself too as he spoke on the day.

:36 Like Tammy, Dawn Marie has some strange name rules. One of her names Dawny sounds like washing detergent. Blade cheers RD'S joke of Dawny Marie like one of their audiences.

The pantsless Brother Midnight will return to the ring on Dec 4th at CWE's Rumble to Remember. (:41) Blade thinks one of their talent, named Tommy Lee Curtis, has the gimmick of being Jamie Lee’s sister which is so bad that even RD laughs at it, and he is the master of bad gimmicks. They then watch Jermaine Jackson sing the theme song from Perfect, a movie Jamie Lee was in which according to Blade could make Tommy Lee “Mr. Perfect”. (:46)

And yes, John Travolta is her love interest. That's all I'm saying on the subject.

According to Melina, her long term boyfriend John Morrison takes Cialis. (:51) Is he also one of those guys in their advertisements sitting in the bathtub of their advertisements still waiting for WWE to call him?

Blade: "You might stick it in your peehole."
RD: (100 'kids' later) "I don't know why I started this show again either. You have to forgive me."

Jim Ross then calls. (:54) Bob Caudle used his large and excess supply of Vaseline (used alongside some Dark Journey head scissors) to wax his van which attracted bugs on their way to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. He makes Blade laugh. He asked John Morrison for BBQ ideas and he suggested Cialis in the turkey rub to keep you up. This was all well and good until children got into it and then had “fun” with the pies. Apparently Jim needs to take some Cialis too as he forgets what else he wanted to say. “Go fluff yourself!” he says instead.

Tammy has a “new” website. (:59) In keeping with her style it's based in Wix, the Geocities of the ‘10s. And looks like it too. As expected she has items for sale, none of them with Shawn Michaels’ signature for some reason.

It will also be her 43rd birthday soon so the Fruitcakes once again look up her Amazon wishlist (available through their Amazon links). It's still under her “old” name of Tammy.

:71 Paul O’Parka has a question about Star Wars. This leads to heated discussion including the following:
  • RD watched the movies with his son.
  • He sees the movies differently now than when he first saw them.
  • He argues with Blade about how as average as it is Revenge Of The Sith is better than Return Of The Jedi as a whole.
  • Said Return included (in his opinion) the blasted teddy bear Ewoks, a neutered Han Solo (shouldn't that be frozen?) accidently poking Boba Fett into a sarlacc; and Slave Leia not looking as good as Princess, Hoth, or Bespin Leia (though more under an influence, but at least we have the Force to thank for Carrie Fisher to defeat that and be better and funnier than ever, bless her heart).
  • He thinks the movie could have been cut down to 75 minutes rather than its bloated Jabba the Hutt/Death Star II size.
  • He thought Attack Of The Clones had some good (better) pieces.
  • He would prefer to watch III’s General Grievous, who if you've forgotten already (and I don't blame you) was a coughing and wheezing vaudeville cyborg who was shot to death by Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"He has four arms! He would make a perfect arm wrestling champion gimmick!"
- 1990's Vince McMahon/Alternative universe wrestling tycoon George Lucas
Also: more credible world champion than Sheamus

:80 The argument spills over to Current Wrestling News instead of RD spilling something else (when he ejaculates).

RD: "I guarantee you. I don't like to make guarantees on this show. I guarantee you this show that you are listening to right now kids is historic. I promise you in the history of Planet Earth no two geeks have ever argued over the merits of bad Star Wars movies while the theme from Coliseum Home Video played in the background."

TNA has had yet another stay of execution. This sounds like the makings of a new show segment to be sure. Now they've gone on Pop TV...the former TV Guide Channel, truly the perfect place for professional wrestling! Sadly for Blade it's not a soda-based channel, as he wonders about in a bad joke. RD counters with his own bad joke about Snap and Crackle TV. Blade counters counters with a really obscure joke about WWE moving to Spike TV back in the day.

Also there are reports that TNA is actually paying protection money for their time rather than the usual other way round, a sure sign of a desperate action if ever I've heard one.

To no one's surprise, a lackluster Survivor Series (starring your new world champion Sheamus...again) creates record low ratings for RAW, dropping under 3 million viewers for the first time since its expansion to 3 hours. (:85) Somehow RD offended people when telling them so on Facebook.

Eva Marie was booed on NXT for a rather bad promo, among other bad things. To be sure, it's not like she's been in the business long or anything due to being on NXT...oh wait. She's a two year veteran who's one of the main 'protagonists' on that awful Total Divas progrem. Why am I not surprised? Or surprised that the (Montreal based!) pornographic company Brazzers would make her a job offer (among other wrestlers they've contacted, more for publicity than anything lasting really).

Normally I would go on about how often such...adult content would be a step up for most of the Divas on the roster...but knowing her skills, I fear it would end pretty badly. Not badly in the sense of grossing people out ala Joanie Laurer, but in the sense of botching that action too.

Yes, it is possible to be bad at pornography.

No, don't ask me how.

No, don't ask me how I know this either.

This Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Eva Marie porn.
Brazzers made her an offer.
Hope she'll be ball gagged.

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #046: Black Friday’s Bedding Man

Since The Mike Check Show has referenced the "Bedding Man" Black Friday Story, here's a Wrestlecrap Radio flashback from Minisode #046 (in 2006) for your enjoyment. For those unfamiliar, basically "Bedding Man" was a person that RD Reynolds witnessed at Kohl's during a Black Friday sale yelling on his cell phone saying (quote) "Bitch! I am in line! I am in the store! I'm back in bedding!" (unquote)...while lying on a store bed:

Also included in this Minisode:
  • Good Times and John Amos.
  • Francine retired.
  • Centaur Mickie James is lifting the tail.
  • More wrestlers for the OVW box.

(Video by wcrminisodes)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

WCR Video: Interactive: Far From Q'ute

In this WCR video from Wrestlecrap Radio episode #107, RD and Blade's disscussion on 2008's "Hulk Hogan's Celebrity Championship Wrestling" goes into a tangent when they argue on whether, 80's singer "Stacey Q", looks "cute" or not for some reason? The co-fruitcakes then do commentary on her "Two Of Hearts" music video to judge for themselves.

...But their CCW discussion was "Far From Over" because they do briefly go through the reality show's "star-studded" list and then later watch another music video by the first male contestant that was eliminated from the show, which was, you guessed it:


Note: I (R.V.M Kai) created this video after I recently discovered that a previous video title "Stacey Spew", which was one of my favorite "WCR Interactive" segments, had been deleted from YouTube. So I spent literally 6 HOURS LONG re-making my own version...so anyone asking me to re-create another one is "pushing" it!

Oh, and speaking of "Pushin'" (and Frank Stallone), go over to The Mike Check Show right now!.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

255 Tee Hee Halloween: October 30, 2015

"And ya gonna say please & thank ya!"
106 minutes

RD surrounds himself with candles. Huey has yet to update his jokes.

Roddy Piper returns from the grave to warn us about staying safe at Halloween, bless him forever more. (:04)

The Royals are in the World Series (including two Reds as RD points out). To be sure I would have preferred the Blue Jays in their place but I like both teams and the Royals put a stronger showing for the Championship Series anyway. Blade hates waking up early to watch the Lions and Chiefs playing in England because the NFL desperately wants non-Americans to watch American football. On an unrelated note, their Drag Queen with a voice like Ben Vereen advises you to draft Arian Foster. I agree. (:09)

The Pit where PB keeps Raging_Demons ???
For a change, Raging Demons does the shilling this week.  (:13) To be fair he has a much better voice than I even if he is trapped in a pit like RD says he is. Perhaps he's confusing him with Dante's portrayal of Satan in the Ninth Circle of Hell...or perhaps he's confusing him with the WWCR character of Satan. (He'll be appearing later on in the progrem in case you were one of the two people who missed him.)

The Intestinal Fortitude didn't pay for this episode sadly, so RD shills his site and Archives more. Listen to the man, I implore you! Trust me, you won't regret your purchase. (You can regret listening to this radio progrem instead.)

According to RD Blade last wrote a Jobber Of The Week in 2003 (on my birthday too no less, October 13th). He Big Announcements some more in response. (:17) They then argue on the availability of Orange Slice.

Blade did his part and found some more folks to go along with him to the grocery. Sadly Eva Savelalot was not one of them. (:22)

The strangest thing the Fruitcakes didn't pick up on was that Mr. T also did a 1-800 Collect commercial or two - foo!, and the Pinkman, Aaron Paul, was in one of them. (He did quite a few commercials and famously appeared on a Barker era The Price Is Right before his breakout discovery by a cancer suffering high school chemistry teacher eager to break into the drug/meth business. Sadly in none of them did he call anyone bitches. He should go back and correct that now with the power of his Emmys before Vince calls him to guest host Raw.)

Anyway, Blade has some Zapps' Voodoo Potato Chips that he hands off to Don to try without even bothering to cue up his theme jingle. Sad News: when trick-or-treating with his children he does not wear his mask; although it does help fans (he has fans living nearby right?) come up to him on the street to ask him for the proper application of corn oil. Even Sadder: the chips are not malt vinegar/BBQ/rib-flavored like he thinks they are.

Danielle Harris with NOT Blade Braxton
Blade's compatriot Midnight Rose met Scream Queen Danielle Harris in a very loud place. She prefers granola much to his surprise. (:36) At that same loud place he also talked with Traci Lords who likes Lucky Charms, which currently have Hot Mask Action.

"And that's the bottom of the line,
'cause Stone Cold Austin said so!"
"Stone Cold Austin" finally has his own beer, Broken Skull India Pale Ale, which Blade is apparently already acquainted with based on how drunk he sounds. (:44) The flavor's description confuses Blade with its toxic-sounding ingredients and RD by how it describes itself as "polite".

Kurt Angle wants to teach while taking a year off after escaping TNA. That sounds like the setting for a sitcom. (:52)

Speaking of obscure, Curt Hawkins, currently in Global Force Wrestling, announces the 'debut' of one BM Punk to the company. (:55) The real BM is not happy with the news, and in constipation flushes his frustration out on RD in a bad case of verbal diarrhea.

"Old" Rosa Mendes is pregnant. (:58) So too is "feverish" ClockTrolla champion Candace Michelle. Her current child looks rather vampiric.

Tammy/Tam needs money so she's going to sell pictures of her Mexican vacation from sunnyskype8@gmail.com. The duo overthink on what she has to offer. (:65)

As if on cue Satan pays a visit. (:70) Actually it's Stan, the Evil Troll Lord now, perhaps taking a cue from Tammy trying to change her name for some reason from the last progrem. Also, his Tubular Bells once again sound different. Like Jim earlier he also hasn't been paid his royalties and he desperately needs his money to pay landlord God (landgod? landdiety?) for his lease in Hell. He recounts how Tammy is again feuding with people on Twitter, though it's about her looks from her youth so I have to take her side on this one.

Also on cue on cue Mike Check calls in, also wanting his royalties. (:76) Blade's usual silliness causes RD to chuckle and break character.

When he regains his composure Mike tells them about the time he was in the Salem, Massachusetts market in WTCH "The Witch". He was Johnny Boo and together with a female DJ named Ann B Love, they did Afternoon Delight with Boo B Love. (get it?!?!?!) His ensuing music drowns the sleeping RD.

Mike: "Why does RJ never talk when I'm on here?"

Blade thinks the monetary reward from Questioning (of the week) should be tax-refundable. Of course, that's for INTERNATIONAL i.e. usually NON-AMERICAN folks who don't believe in taxes (or death for that matter) so I have no idea how that would work.

Zane U Paisley wants to know what wrestling shirt he should wear for jury duty. (:90) RD often wears Blade's Dungeon Of Doom shirt, especially while exercising. When Blade is not exercising once a week he wears his ECW Francine shirt that rips off Stone Cold Austin. Then he starts chuckling too.

What's this? News about Hulk Hogan that's NOT related to his racism? (:75) Someone's dug up an old WCW contract of his, and it's pretty amazing the amount of millions he received even while WCW was losing money...followed by Hogan losing his money to Linda. Blade remembers his (still on going?) creepy love for Brooke and her long legs. RD plays ZZ Top's Sleeping Bag as his answer.

Hell In A Cell was alright. Of course neither Fruitcake talks about it much.

One Fun Sized Package:
Vince doesn't like blood.
Will the next pay per view be
sponsored by Tampax?

$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

WCR Video (Repeat): Roddy Piper Double Feature: Halloween Tips & "They Live" Parody

The following WCR Videos were featured on wrestlecrapradio.com around Halloween 2013 as an annual tribute to "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips. I (R.V.M Kai) sadly discontinued this last year when I featured a Don Mason (yes I'm talking about: Don...Don Mason) Halloween clip last year instead. Well the good news is that...

Video #1 features the return of the Classic Rowdy Roddy Piper Halloween Tips (from episode #081: October 26, 2007) on this here site for 2015.

(Video by J Freek)

Also enjoy Video #2: "They Live? I didn't even know they were sick?": A WCR parody of Hot Rod's movie "They Live" (created by LannysPermJuice)

And speaking of "They Live", The Mike Check Show is currently playing a song from the movie soundtrack.

So now say "Please and Thank Ya"!...or rather from now on:

"Then what you're gonna do is you're gonna have lots of fun and gonna say to each other Happy Halloween and Trick or Treat" - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (1954 - 2015)

...And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives