2019 Gooker Nominees! ForceRise!

What's up my people, Raging_Demons here. It is that time folks! The return of The Gooker! It's the award from Wrestlecrap as voted on by us on who is the worst in the year in wrestling.

This year in 2019 let me say: WOW was there a lot of crap! So naturally let me explain the term "ForceRise". On social media I do admit I tend to watch some foreign programming. Currently I'm watching a program from Japan called "Kamen Rider Zero-One". Now the villains will basically transform a.k.a "morph" like the Power Rangers, the belt that they use says "ForceRise!" like so:

After thinking about it for awhile the word "ForceRise" kind of made sense for this year's Gooker. As in "This crap on my screen will FORCE me from my couch and RISE up from it to change the channel now!"

[Insert your own rimshot here. Preferably while voting.]

This year's selection is a mixed bag. We got people returning for a historic second win, we have newcomers getting their first nominations, and a possible historic nominee!

So let's look into the 2019 Gooker nominees!

And they are...

1. Baron Corbin's Push From Hell: For first timers on the site let me give you the definition of a "Push From Hell" is. A "Push From Hell" can be defined as when a promotion gives a wrestler major hype, and possibly major career hype, to make the wrestler look awesome, but they keep continuing the push to the point of ad nauseam. This Push from Hell goes to someone that doesn't even deserve it at all going to, of all people...Baron Corbin!

Personally, Baron Corbin is the most boring person on the roster. He does a promo in such a monotone voice it drives people to sleep. He says a promo like he's reading it out of a book. Hell, he does his promo like if he's doing an elementary book report; boring, slow, and lacking appeal. His wrestling puts people to sleep. Baron Corbin is essentially a human Jigglypuff. #BaronCorbinIsAHumanJigglypuff [I bet that .com is not taken either.]

So why would WWE, of all the pro wrestling organizations out there, decided to give Baron Corbin, of all people, a Push from Hell? For the dumbest reason ever! WWE thinks that Baron Corbin...is attractive to women.

I would use a pic of Baron Corbin and ask you all if you think he's attractive, but I'm afraid to do so because I think putting a pic of Baron Corbin up would shut this site down due to the sheer lack of interest and how boring he is. Seriously if I put a pic up, the servers will systematically shut down and go to sleep, that's how boring he is!

Now to make matters worse Corbin received an infamous "King" gimmick, for winning this year's King Of The Ring. The title gimmick can be crappy depending on who it is that has it. For example: King Haku: Great but does not come with crown as illustrated. King Hacksaw Jim Duggan: not so much. Currently King Baron Corbin had a craptastic moment by pouring dog food all over Roman Reigns. Not only was it made cringeworthy, but it had fans turning off their TV while taking to Social Media that they wanted this for a Gooker. [If not asleep that is.]

2. Shorty G: Chad Gable, an Olympic wrestler who competed in the 2012 London Summer Olympics, signed up with WWE and became one of a great tag-team known as "American Alpha" with his partner, Gooker nominee Jason "I'm Kurt Angle's son" Jordan. Both of them had great success as a team. UNFORTUNATELY WWE hates Tag Teams because they want to push INDIVIDUALS. So WWE broke the team up.

While Jason went off to embrace his "Dad", Chad just became...nothing. That is until his royal boringness King Baron Corbin showed up and gave him a new nickname: Shorty Gable, or Shorty G. See? Baron Corbin's boringness is contagious! He bored the career death of Chad Gable! #BaronCorbinIsAHumanJigglypuff

3. Crown Jewel 2019: Last year's Gooker returns in an attempt to be the first ever back-to-back Gooker winner. Admittedly this year's Crown Jewel was considered to be better than last year. However, what makes it a Gooker nominee this time was behind-the-scenes drama. The "story" has it that Vinnie Mac pulled the live feed because the current leader of the country, Mohammad bin Salman, has not paid WWE for their previous live events. Everything was resolved let's move on.

Or not! The "story" then continues that most of the WWE stars were held because of MBS while other people in private jets like Brock Lesnar, Hulk Hogan and Vince McMahon took off leaving the other talent stranded. Of course I said "story" because there was another side to it claiming all of that never happened and it was just a technical issue. It was never proven which side was correct or not because none of the WWE talent never said anything about it, except for Karl Anderson's wife who said on Twitter that he will never be coming back to Saudi Arabia. Anyways. Whichever is the right side or not caused a mass delay for the following Smackdown.

4. WWE2K20: A first time a video game is nominated. WWE decided that this time they decided to go with a different video game publisher to make their video games and what they got was the stuff of broken video game legends. Currently this game is being compared to another bad game, Fallout 76, as the worst video game of all time! Social Media wise there were GIFs and pics that were spread all over about the game's constant bugs and botches. As proof, my saved pic of the game's Becky Lynch, seen here trying to be the female Fiend:

That is basically how bad the game is. Screwed up bugs, crappy scripting, and more that I couldn't even tell you what was going on because I don't have the knowledge of the video game business, but I do know someone that does! Youtuber Matt McMuscles provided a complete detail of how this game could become a potential Gooker winner:

[As someone with said aforementioned knowledge of the video game business - at least in the present day anyway - this one gets my vote. There's a reason games usually voted on as the awfullest or worst of their year often get a lot of coverage due to their notoriety. Usually this also includes the shenanigans encountered in making the game as bad as it is. This is something ridiculously evident here in droves, staring with the switch to a new developer with little experience on the series, which is itself deeply stagnated in look and game play. Wow, art imitating life here eh. 

From there things compounded and kept growing. People who may not have been aware of what was being shared online may have finally noticed when supposed 'signed' special editions shipped without autographed photos. If you got the game running past the bugs morphing the characters into monsters if not acting possessed, you get environments and settings looking 20 years out of date, to the point where the new year made it literally unplayable

Yes, 2K20 became Y2K20 20 years too late.

There were worse released games that year of which the game is in 'good' company with, but this one is definitely in my opinion the most high profile, and should be recognized as such and learned from, no matter the source or location. It's like if someone thought to make a movie based on one of the best known musicals around and turned it into good old fashioned nightmare fuel

...Although now I'm fearful that I've gone and done it yet again. If 2K makes DLC where you fight as an anthropomorphized animal, you'll know where they got that idea from.

Sorry about that.

On the other hand either one could create JigglyKing Corbin that the Rage is all the rage about. Silver lining?


5. The Fall of Ring Of Honor: In the 20 years that WrestleCrap and The Gooker have been around this is the FIRST time that Ring of Honor has received nomination. This is especially damning considering that TNA/Impact hasn't had one in the past two years. That is awfully terrifying.

ROH has always had some shrapnel to it in recent years since their major broadcasting partner, Sinclair Broadcasting, had been linked to pro-right news manipulation like Fox News. This particular story however began in December 2018, when most of their major stars including The Young Bucks and So Cal Uncensored, left the company, leaving behind...not a whole lot of stars. There was Marty Scurll and...I think that's it? As attendance continues to reduce drastically their problems continue to get worse. Joey Mercury, who used to work with ROH as an agent, told some horrible stories on Social Media, like the awful treatment of wrestlers and even their business partner of the time New Japan. There are now people wondering if The Ratings Reaper will be claiming Ring Of Honor now instead of Impact. [That depends on how drunk Blade is currently.]

6. The Librarians: So what happened to The Young Bucks? Well in 2019 they, along with Cody Rhodes, Kenny Omega, and NFL Eecutive of the Jacksonville Jaguars Tony Khan went to create a new pro wrestling organization: All Elite Wrestling. In their short time AEW has created some potential nominees like The Nightmare Collective (Cody's wife, Brandi Rhodes, creates a women's stable with Awesome Kong with it and they cut off the hair of defeated opponents for no good reason), The Dark Order (A cult-like stable whose followers were described by one Facebook poster as "failed gimps from Pulp Fiction" where they got noticed due to this), and AEW Dark's rotating color commentary seat (Seriously just listen and watch to the episodes Arn Anderson & Dustin Rhodes did; while Arn was bad in a boring way, Dustin became the new Art O'Donnell with saying in every other sentence "I want to go to the Private Party").

Out of all of them though the one that became a Gooker nominee were The Librarians. They didn't start on AEW, but on The Young Bucks popular Youtube vlog "Being The Elite". There The Bucks admitted that they "had to" create a librarian character and they both knew that the character was rather pointless. When you admit that your character sucks already then it does not bode well for them. The Bucks even did an internet contest with wrestlers submitting online videos to promote themselves why they wanted to be The Librarian. I said Librarian singular, because at the time there was supposed to be only one librarian character. In the end they chose two people as The Librarian. One was Leva Bates, who was widely known as an indie women's wrestlers known for her cosplay hobby and her appearances in NXT as..."Blue Pants Girl". (*sigh* I hate that name.) The other was a unknown NWA wrestler (way before NWA came back with "NWA Powerrr") named Peter Avalon, who was best known for being a pile of cheat heat getting and wrestling sucking, among other failings. (That could be my opinion on Peter Avalon though I'm not quite sure about that.) Thus, one became two.

The Librarians are basically jobbers to the stars, but in my opinion I don't think they deserve a Gooker. Avalon being a cheap Barry Horowitz wannabe makes it definitely deserve it just for himself, but Bates brought some good entertainment on the side of things that redeems it.

[Note that they are not to be confused with the Co-Librarians of this fine site. Not unless Ms. Bates gets in touch with us. This is assuming I remember what our contact location is at. Perhaps, if she is reading this, she can let us know somehow.]

7. The 2019 WWE Draft: WWE couldn't keep Smackdown on USA Network any longer so they shopped around and...Fox Sports was the winner?! So they did the Draft which included the stupid "Wildcard Rule" and the humorous picture of a meeting room filled with people including, of all things, the mascot for Fox's NFL programming.

8. Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins at Hell In A Cell: Let's get this out of the way. Seth Rollins had an awful 2019. In that year he did weird AF toy commercials, his girlfriend Becky Lynch outed their relationship to the world to use it as ammunition in a Twitter feud with Edge, he was embarrassed by The Kliq, Brock Lesnar beat the respect and manhood out of him, and he had a feud with Bray Wyatt.

Bray has been a recent magnet to all things Gooker but it looked like he made it clear with his new gimmick in the "Firefly Fun House". Unfortunately for Rollins it made him look bad. Bray's new "alter ego" as "The Fiend" not only made Rollins look like he wet his pants in one encounter but their Hell In A Cell match was...ugh! The match was covered in The Fiend's signature red lighting, good for creating terror but not good in a wrestling match. The ending of that match was very controversial. While The Fiend used a Harley Quinn-esque, cartoon sized, giant hammer to hurt Rollins, Rollins got...Triple H's best buddy in the whole wide world, MR. SLEDGEHAMMER! In that moment the referee rang the bell to end the match...which was No DQ.

Needless to say the fans were pissed off! I personally think Triple H had his heart broken when he saw Mr. Sledgehammer so he called the match to end. It took them two days to figure out an explanation to that match. TWO DAYS!

9. The Bennett's Pregnancy Mess: So real life married couple Mike and Maria Kanellis-Bennett had re-signed their WWE contracts, giving them a storyline to reflect on Maria's status of being pregnant with Mike's baby. Which is...that the baby isn't Mike's and he's a limp-dick loser? Huh? Then The Bennetts got removed from TV due to her pregnancy followed by Mike claiming he wants out of his WWE contract? Wha...? If "rumors" are true then their actual story had been transferred to...

10: The Lana/Rusev Love Triangle of Eternal Torment 2: Lashley Fever: Guess who's back? Lana and her hubby Rusev, that's who! The previous 2015 Gooker winners of a love triangle with Dolph Ziggler are doing another love triangle with...Bobby Lashley? Uh...Yeah. Long story short, Lana accuses Rusev of being a no-diddly good cheater and a sex addict and wants some of Lashley's BBC. So Lana wants a WWE divorce just before revealing Lashley made her pregnant.

The divorce happens and Lana overacts terribly. She overacts so much she's actually butt-hurt over the complaints she received on Social Media. Yes, it does gets worse from here. Now Lana and Lashley are getting married in the worst WWE wedding ever! Just how bad was it? Well after couple of wedding interruptions, Liv Morgan came back saying she was in lesbians with Lana! Now where have I seen that before? Hrm... Nope! No idea.

Oh by the way, RVM Kai mentioned to me that he hoped when Liv Morgan returns he hopes she doesn't end up like Emmalina. Too late.

Then Rusev pops out of a cake, no seriously he does, and goes a-squashing. By the way, this is still ongoing AND it was rumored to be for Mike and Maria Bennett before they left TV. Did they dodge a bullet on that one or what?!

This is my choice for Gooker and the odds-on favorite. Also this is being heavily criticized not by us the pro wrestling fans, but by EVERYONE! This Gooker nomination has gone plaid! Even CM Punk took his complaint to Twitter saying WWE needed to hire a LGBTQ sensitive writer. [I'm worried Vince would read that as BBQ writer and perhaps try to hire back JR.] If this wins it will be historic. It will make Lana and Rusev 2-time Gooker winners, which will them tie with Hornswoggle, but it will make the first ever winners to win WITH THE SAME STORYLINE of Love Triangles that never, ever stop causing us eternal torment!!! Make it stop, please!

You've got until January 11th to vote for what was the worst of them all. So go ahead and vote!


WCR Video: Interactive: Mickie James Christmas Song

RD Reynolds & Blade Braxton do an interactive segment on Mickie James' Music Video of her Christmas song "Christmas Presence" (from Wrestlecrap Radio: Episode #289, 2019). In this clip; RD is distracted by Mickie's reindeer nose nipple on her Christmas sweater...and we all thought that Blade was the one with the filthy mind?

(Video by R.V.M Kai)

And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

289 Moistmas: December 22, 2019

Mickie the Red Nosed Nipple
77 minutes

Blade doesn't have any proper Big Announcements anymore.

Lord Alfred had a MySpace page before Blade deleted it. RD: "Is Lord Alfred also a Force ghost? A Jedi ghost?"

The two will discuss Episode IX later for their RD & Blade Show to be released yesterday.

This year RD reviewed a particularly horrible Christmas movie.

Blade: "I was thinking about that while I was on the toilet a few minutes ago." (:12)

RD has met many characters over the years on Black Friday or Brown Thursday as he now calls it. (:14) Blade apologizes for interrupting but he wonders who else does this while encountering RD.  This year at the "nicer" Walmart due to his 'strategy' the wife and son got to see a scuffle, while RD met a 'lovely/moist' woman. She was discussing Thanksgiving dinner with another woman before suddenly saying "that guy smells like shit." (Not RD thankfully.) He teases his brother having his own stories to tell (assuming he doesn't smell either).

Bobby Eaton had an appreciation night the other day, which is a good thing. (:30)

Mickie James has a new Christmas song which has four thumbs down. The two watch it. (:33) RD is distracted by her reindeer nose nipple. (Odd design for a pastie to be sure.)

RD cheats for the Question (:41) by going to the F4W Board for it. (A subscription is required for access.) Someone on a 'beautiful women of wrestling appreciation thread' wants random fetishistic pictures of now 50+ year old Misty Blue Simmes. Blade did some searching of Unsolved Mysteries with Robert Sack - Indiana Jones in order to find a "movie" of hers. Sadly I don't think they cover the fetish that one guy was looking for.

Barry Darsow scared RD by talking about Ken Patera. (:47) Billy Jack Haynes has wild hair. Blade will have a Beastmaster Christmas, whatever that means. [It means an online showing of Beastmaster movies which - surprise surprise - gets aborted halfway through.] Roman Reigns will be competing on Fox for New Year's Eve. Blade wants him to compete in a three legged race against Zack Gowan.

Things I've learned today: over the years, the only people who are sending presents have been Jordan Mishkin and myself. Maybe next year we will complete the triangle and send presents to each other too. (:55)

Jordan sent RD gluten free baby back ribs chips, a King Mabel bendem, and a Jim Cornette book (now with 100% more racism). Blade got a Predator 2 VHS and football Headliners. He eats some Guinness naturally flavored Burts chips. They seem to taste better than RD's.

I had sent for RD and his young man an R2D2 lunch box with lights and sounds. (I did not check to see if it was wash safe, though it should be.) He also got an Artoo Thermos as a probable replacement for his WWE Niagara Falls Cup. (As ridiculously useful flasks to keep large amounts of fluid hot or cold at their required temperatures for hours or days at a time, they can't be beat.)

Blade got a NES cartridge shaped "Drunk Hunt" flask via Nintendo John, "the greatest gift you will ever get" (although Blade cannot receive a picture of it on his phone unsurprisingly; probably spending all his money on drink instead of a new phone), and a grip strengthening beer mug via Jim. RD: "People know you."

Blade sent RD a 1996 Tam bikini koozie. (Isn't she still in jail?) RD sent Blade a He-Man Christmas sweater with a funny holiday card.

I have seventeen syllables for words:
Deck the halls with lots
of moistness, fa la la la
la, la la la moist.

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Episode 47: Star Warhorse: December 21, 2019

41 minutes

Your annual reminder that Blade once
dressed up as Darth Maul for Halloween
in order to scare his sister.
RD eats some thematic cereal with "all natural marshmallows". But does he use blue milk?

He is planning to go see Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker again since he liked the majority of it, even if it was "a series of video game cutscenes" a half hour too long with an attack of the cloned Palpatine. (:06) Blade rambles on about how the old movies were also with little explanation during "the search for Porkins." He further confuses by agreeing with RD on liking the movie. [As do I...from a certain point of view.]

Blade finds the Ewoks' ideas intriguing to him, and he wishes to subscribe to their newsletter. (:14)

RD admits he wrote The Book of Lists Exclamation Point because he believes lists are dumb. (:16) He then does his old mother impression because "talking with you is fascinating."

After or perhaps because of said impression, he pulls in his wife, appalled that he doesn't like space horses. (:23) She no sells one of Blade's signature bad jokes.

RD found the pandering fan service laughable, including Chewbacca finally getting his medal on film. Blade stresses out for some reason. They then argue over ships. (:28)

RD shoots down yet another of Blade's half-baked theories about dying characters, including one Death Star destroyer. (:31)

Blade got over his jadedness to confirm (again) that he liked the movie, giving it two yubnubs up despite the lack of Bossk or midriffs. He does not yet have Disney+. He has LaserDiscs for that.

Blade now likes the prequels ironically. RD pounces, mercilessly using it to his advantage to shut him down and end the show. It's all in the timing. (:38)

288 The Turkey Drop: November 25, 2019

A Turkey Of A Show!
95 minutes

Blade has already started the Thanksgiving drinking. He has to since his voice is shot from shouting while wrestling the day before.

RD wants more Hundred Dollar Men/Crappers so he can wear a Nikolai Volkoff Cent Sign shirt on their behalf. I'm sure Virgil would come free regardless of cost.

WWE is so bad it makes RD think it can be improved by old Hulk Hogan freestyling. (:10)

The Lions are playing so awfully that Blade is time-outing himself so he can forget/ignore them. (:12) RD already encountered Little Debbie Snowflake Brownies which are like all the rest. So he calls up his lady to try their Holiday Spice Christmas Tree Cake. It has cinnamon, cloves, & nutmeg on the front, and a square maze on the back. It tastes alright. RD persuades her to return to the show sooner than 10 years like the last time.

Blade's only child and potential heir is a ventriloquist dummy who once took a fall onto hard concrete. (He got better.) (:23) Brock Lesnar's daughter Maya has committed to Arizona State University due to her exemplary shot-putting. Blade stumbles while trying to make another "joke". Tito Santana has written a book titled Don't Call Me Chico. RD wonders if Jesse "Chico" Ventura will write a foreword. Blade remembers the possibility of Hulk Hogan vs. Ken Patera's swinging full nelson at Wrestlemania IV. Purchasing the book also includes a phone call with its author. Blade would want him on the show so he could ask him about women in cars. RD would ask him about his "bullfighting training".

RD wants to discuss wrestling things to be grateful for while Blade wants a "quick show", preferably within 3 hours. (:34) RD is grateful for Blade and his corded phone and the other connections he has made with his site, AEW vs. NXT on Wednesday, and the WWE Network where he can watch Survivor Series Jimmy Garvin. Random discussion about Linda McMahon's old Wrestlemania theme ensues. Blade is grateful for his Midnight Rose and Mr. Fitness 2 tag teaming for around a decade now and in movies and hopefully visiting the UK in January, Mickie James still being around and active (instead of Tammy), and Demolition still being around and whole.

Eric K. asks what their favorite Thanksgiving food is. (:50) RD's is pecan pie. Blade rambles about eating room temperature raw turkey when he was younger.

RD wants Bill Apter on the show again. (:55) He could discuss PWI October 1991 of which Blade guesses features Sid Vicious. The centerfold is Lex Luger. The back cover is Captain Lou Albano with his awkward wrestling hotline 1-900-LOU-4-YOU. I don't think he would have given Super Mario Bros 3 tips over that.

15 year old Blade recorded a JR hotline on cassette tape because he thought he hosted a late night talk show and felt ripped off when he found out the truth. He does his Jim impression.

Speaking of old cassette tapes, Mike Check is back in his "Eye in the Sky", the WWCR Party helicopter as part of his live remote. (:66) His idea is...such...that WKRP In Cincinatti famously did this before Jim could: a turkey drop. However, this time is different!

He has parachutes for them.

Needless to say, he has another 'accident' as it is proven that, once again, as God is our witness, turkeys still can't fly.

(Also he apparently worked with Jaime Farr in Tuledo.)

RD Jr. went to his first show with his old man, AEW Dynamite in Indianapolis. (:75) RD notes his kid is following the same route he took at his age; being more interested in games with the wrestling interest perhaps coming up later while growing ridiculously tall. RD thinks the promotion and audience comprise a "happy cult", most likely because it did not have that wrestling arena aroma. They were the only ones who tried to leave before the Dark taping since Jr. had an early day, and one fan was super excited that Cody Rhodes was coming. At least Jr. seemed to enjoy the whole thing.

The Fruitcakes could only record all this during the concurrently running Survivor Series. Why is that a bad thing?

One of the 12 Listeners appeared on 205 Live.

Here's the Haiku with Extra Time about CM Punk on WWE Backstage:
CM Punk on Fox.
A Raw/Smackdown recap show.
Makes me Go To Sleep.

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right