Episode 39: Holy Blackbeard!: May 1, 2022

Walk the Straight and Narrow
"Batman and Robin escape their previous peril and are back in action seeking to foil the Archer and his gang. After pulling off a counterfeit job, the villains head for their boat, planning to take their loot safely to Switzerland. The Dynamic Duo set off in the Bat boat to try to stop their escape."
63 minutes

"RD-President Mr. Dale Fan Club" is pleased by Vince's pronunciation of the word 'archer'. Vince took a while to realize Archer was actually from Brooklyn. RD is ashamed they had already forgotten Pauline.

Male Pattern Baldness Robin is already present 25 seconds into the day's episode. RD was compelled to look him up as then 39 year old Victor Paul who did a heck of a lot of work over a 55 year career on film and TV. Vince applauds his knowledge. 

Vince: "Strapped to poles."
RD: "Something you may have booked."

Batman muses "there's no place to go but up" before the two use their Batsprings in their shoes to launch them to stratospheric orbit and then bounce around.
Batman: "We've got your number, Archer!"
Archer: "Impossible, my dear Sheriff of Gotham-ham! My number's unlisted!"
Then Marilyn accidentally breaks his "ego making" sound machine, causing the villains to flee. The Duo free themselves from their bonds to secure Alfred.

Cut to Dale's office where he sits at his desk using a feather quill pen. (:14) RD laments he was not a recurring character on the show. Dale is too busy with his writing to notice the Duo in his office until they cough to get his attention and a "mmmmm." In closed teeth: "I like that cape, Batman. Very chic. Wash and wear?" Batman asks him about Bruce's money (coming "fresh from the government"), suspicious of his activity since his mouth doesn't move.

In Archer's new lair under Police HQ he laments Marilyn not speaking as they do despite their coming from the same Brooklyn neighborhood. RD bemoans the police's constant incompetence. Dale comes in with a knock on the door to tell them through his teeth that Bruce's money is in transit in exchange for his share. Archer: "Sticky wicket! Howest speak in thee unique vernacular!" (Perhaps he speaks that way because he too is from Brooklyn.)

They ambush the armored car with crooked arrows to go around the weak points and hit it with gas and smoke. This forces the security out while still leaving the keys inside, so that Marilyn can just go and take it. Yet when the car is later found the money is still inside.

RD wonders why Vince keeps defending the police despite how terrible they are at their job. 

"Eight hours later" at Stately Wayne Manor Gordon calls Bruce to remind him to give away the money at a charity event. (:28) He also tells him the Duo will be there. Bruce has "always wanted to meet them" despite having already done so several times already. He and Dick blow off a line-less but bra-wearing Aunt Harriet who gives them the eye on the way to the Batcave with Alfred. The butler almost goes down the Batpoles before he realizes he can't do that and takes an alternative route.  Bruce does not change into his outfit as he is supposed to meet himself.

Dale is also at the event with Bruce, relieved through his teeth that the money is safe. "It wasn't any help to those two up there," and he points to the Duo of Bat-Alfred and Robin on a roof. RD thinks Alfred fits the suit pretty well. Vince agrees although the shot wasn't very flattering. He also didn't paint over his mustache like Cesar Romero. 

The event is run by Gordon's fraternity colleague Marshall Roland, "Commissioner in charge of poor people". Oh, so he's a homeless camp chief. Despite the offer of donating $10 million in moneybags (individually in single bills) only 20 recipients show up. The first person up takes out his magnifying glass to see it is blatantly counterfeit with the Archer's face on the bill, and calls on his peers to riot. 

Bruce rushes to the "insurance office" as Gordon calls on the Duo for their help. On their way down Bruce gives Alfred his Batspeech Imitator, which he uses from a (social) distance of 100 feet since he has a cold. (Good thing he also has a mask.)
Gordon (to Robin): "Tell him to get some relaxation, and make sure to eat all his veg-e-tables."

The Duo exit, leaving Bruce with Dale worrying about his job, then all of a sudden leaving. RD had little idea what he said. Bruce shakes his hand, then wipes his hand on his shirt in disgust. 

In the Batcave Robin whines about surrendering so (real) Batman has to poetically speech about the entire picture. He thinks the villains will escape to Switzerland via boat. "To the Batboat via Batmobile!" 

At a traffic stop a woman laments she cannot drive as fast as the Duo can, to which a cop remarks that in his off-hours he lectures on driving safety. (:45) Now THERE'S an idea for any struggling DC artists who may be reading this for some reason: Batman's Driving School. RD knows one of the cars was a '66 Mustang (Fastback) because it was his first car (for six months). Cue reused footage of the Batboat from the Movie. 

The Bros are unsure if the boat is Archer's or Dale's, because the latter complains through his teeth of seasickness. The Duo board with raised Batshield to deflect the goons' arrows (after Robin ages 30 years in hiding), so they pull out swords.
Archer: "By thunder, thee will walk the plank deck."
Robin: "Holy Blackbeard!"
Then Marilyn just gives them swords to even the odds.
Batman: "I doff my cowl to you, Maid Marilyn."
Cue more Olde English speech bubbles as the Duo easily win.
Archer: "Et tu, Brute?"

Barbara Nichols (then 38 at filming) declined performing in striptease to focus on modeling and was even considered to rival (non Maid) Marilyn Monroe. Sadly she passed away 10 years later due to liver failure. Vince gives her 3 Batpoles (+1 from not doing further adult work). RD gives her 4.5. "So she was a year younger than Robin!" 

At Stately Wayne Manor the two do some archery. Alfred wants to show how he was termed William Tell by putting an apple on Dick's head but the Duo defer so he has to shoot at it on a stand. He shoots with trembling hands and hits below it. Dick: "Right between the eyes!" 

The two enjoyed the story, in case it wasn't obvious. 

Jonathan Plombon sent RD a book he had co-written about Herb Abrams' UWF. Unsurprisingly Vince had little idea who he was. (Not a slight against him though. Say what you will about his writing legacy, but at least he didn't go out in self-destructive fashion like Abrams did.)

RD has no idea if he and Bryan will release a 20th Anniversary Edition of The Death of WCW since they hardly talk about wrestling. I expect them to start a radio progrem about Bea Arthur now. How good is Bryan's Jim Ross impression?


  • Special Guest Villain: The Archer (Art Carney)


  • Screen Captures: 4. RD, RD, RD, RD
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Victor Paul

Episode 38: Holy Imposition!: April 24, 2022

Shoot a Crooked Arrow
"Archer and his gang have come to Gotham City, winning the public's favor with their Robin Hood style deeds of stealing from the rich to give to the poor. Batman and Robin set out to discover the location of their hideout and stop these villains, only to find themselves caught by a trap in the Archer's lair."
60 minutes

"Boo! Hiss! Phooey on RD!" Season 2's 60 episodes are on six discs. Vince kept seeing Art Carney as Ed Norton as the ArTcher, and he should know since he has Jackie Gleason tattooed on his arm.

It's a "warm serene afternoon" in the gardens of Stately Wayne Manor. The Archer and two goons arrive on horseback as inside Dick plays piano overseen by bra-less Aunt Harriet. 

Bruce is talking to one Allen Dale who is practicing his ventriloquism skills for some reason (when he's not talking through his teeth), and as a fellow board member of the Wayne Foundation complains about Bruce being too charitable. But he's not being stereotypical greedy; he's just warning that this may draw the attention of the Archer, perhaps on horseback. 

As soon as Bruce tries to reassure him, an arrow shoots through the window and gasses them. The Archer fires another arrow at the painting of Bruce's great grandfather, revealing the safe behind it. As bags were apparently not invented in the medieval era, one goon as a friar has to carry the loot under his robe. The other goon has a sound-box to play clips and sound effects like some kind of bard (with a radio progrem). If the Bros had something similar they would want boos following them (but not booze). 

The Archer blows a kiss to his deed of robbing the rich as he leaves: "Parting is such sweet sorrow!" He then rides into the Irish neighborhood to give to the poor, including a few people in stereotypical poor outfits, and someone running a hot dog and sauerkraut cart. The police show up, but he has a sneezing powder arrow to scare them off. 

There actually was a very obscure Archer villain, but he was a different character who fought Superman instead. I also kept confusing him with Green Arrow, who at the time was still a couple of years from his visual update leading to his increased presence through his politics, partnering with Green Lantern, and dealing with his drug-addicted sidekick (Speedy, not Green Lantern). 

Scared off by a single archer on horseback (or as Gordon calls him, "that rapacious rapscallion that returned to taunt the good people of Gotham City!"), he calls Alfred on the Batphone who answers with another eye-roll. (:12) O'Hara is also there asking Bruce about the robbery while Aunt Harriet fans herself in the corner. Batman of course already knew he - I mean Bruce - was also robbed. But they still need to keep appearances so down the Batpoles they go to his office. 

Gordon also says that most of the money was returned when the people learned it was stolen, which is more unlikely than expecting the police to do their job. Batman: "A tribute to their character and moral fiber!" Dale is also there, and also not noticing how similar Batman sounds to Bruce, talks through his teeth of mentioning this to the Board.

As soon as Gordon tries to reassure him, an arrow shoots through the window and blinds them. The Archer and goons then appear wearing Cyclops' visor as the others have to remind loudly that they are in fact blind.
Archer: "I came to warn thee - all of thee. I don't want anybody interfering with my robbing or giving, understand?...Now heed this: I'm gonna rob from the rich and give to the poor."
Batman: "How unoriginal!"

As they escape with the loot and a "cheerio" the Duo recover enough to chase after them with another unreliable Batarang to go down the wall.
Dale: "He certainly is a spectacular man."
O'Hara: "That he is, and the Boy Wonder's pretty good, too."
Dale: "I was talking about the Archer. A good publicity campaign and he'd replace Batman as the public's favorite."
Gordon: "Understand this, Mr. Dale: someone might be able to substitute for Batman for a very sort time, but... [to the camera] ...no one could ever replace him." 

As the Duo climb down Dick Clark as "Citizen" pops out of a window to observe without any idea of who they are. (:21) Batman surmises he's from Philadelphia because he is "dipping his diphthong". RD reads the definition to an incredulous Vince: "Interesting."
Robin: "We are crimefighters."
Clark: "Oh, you're a vocal group."

As they get on the ground they see a truck for the Trojan Hearse Company. Its driver, a large woman eating a giant turkey leg, says in a strong Brooklyn accent that she has not seen any horseback riders. 

At the Archer's lair (which is sadly not in a forested park) (:26) Big John and Crier Tuck complain about their philanthropy. Archer reassures them that after the next robbery there will be "the big caper". The Brooklyn trucker is also there as Maid Marilyn, complaining about their funny talk. The joke is she talks in the accent while the men talk in Old English. Archer wants to find the Batcave: "Those caped sheriffs of Gotham-ham have a machine that can predict any criminal's next ploy!" The Bros have no idea what he is talking about. 

In Gordon's office he is so happy he got an anonymous tip (actually from Marilyn) on where the Archer might show up next, and informs Batman. In an accounting office Everett Bannister, the coin machine king, is biding his time counting coins. All of a sudden the Archer and co show up ("Gentlemen, string thy bows.") and just shoot him full of arrows pinning him to the wall. 

As they do their giving outside the Duo appear, and the crowd boos them. "Phooey on Batman!" someone shouts. The fight has thrown fruit and the captions written in 'attempted' Old English with -eth at the end, until all of a sudden the criminals are captured. That was a pretty fast story...

...until Gordon informs Batman that the people have paid their bail ($50,000) with the stolen money. "Don't they understand how he's trying to fool them? The illusive lore of easy living!" says the multimillionaire who inherited his wealth. Archer has a recorded statement (not a hired town crier?) thanking the people for their support and proclaiming no more robberies. The Bros think it's a good investment for the people since Archer will just give them more money to recover it. They also think the people aren't the most intelligent. Vince also wonders if when later he will rob from the poor to make himself rich why he didn't just rob from the rich directly in the first place.   

In the Batcave Batman tries looking up the Archer in his Batfile. (:36) Cross-referencing him with Robin Hood he finds an archery range on Sherwood Avenue. 

Alfred stands towering next to him, and he reveals his archery skill was so good he was once the William Tell of Liverpool. He goes to distract Archer while the Duo stumble about his lair. Alfred and Archer place bets on their marksmanship. Alfred has a £1 note which somehow equals $100.

"Holy imposition!" Robin exclaims as they enter the "very spooky" lair next door. Batman plans to "take strategic positions" without explaining further. 

Alfred and Archer take turns splitting each other's arrows in the bullseye before what Vince terms "the animal woman" as Marilyn warns Archer of intruders in his "playroom". He tells her to trigger the secret button on her cash register to trap the Duo in a giant net. Batman tells Robin he will get them out with his knife. Archer takes Alfred with him for reassurance as they come across the Duo, and of course both are unconscious instead of being cut out of the net. Perhaps they used secret gas?

The Duo are hung up by their thumbs showing their sweat stains. Archer demands the location of the Batcave again or he will put Alfred in a guillotine. He also refuses to divulge. Archer: "Happy landing, old man. Thou hadst a good head on thy shoulders, whilst it lasted." 

Of course Alfred is just fine; Batman knew he was just in a stage guillotine. He then asks about the sound-box, which was "purloined from the castle of a television producer who makes alleged comedy programs." Big John suggests getting rid of the Duo through "imported California smog". Archer instead slaps Batman in the face with his glove, challenging him to a "fair duel on a field of honor". Said duel has the Duo tied up on poles as the villains come at them with jousting lances. Archer: "Time to offer them a bellyful of steel!"

Narrator: "Doth this foul deed spell finis for the Caped Crusaders? Willst the Dynamic Duo escape to fight again the villainous swine who threaten home and hearth? Take heart, citizens. The answers to these and other pointed inquiries tomorrow! Same Bat-time! Same Bat-channel!" 

RD didn't remember the episode much at all, it might not have been shown in syndication.  

The two want to rate the "woman in red" who was in the crowd pelting fruit at the Duo and went uncredited (and Vince keeps mentioning Finella for some reason). They give her 8 Batpoles regardless. 

Arcade Easter Bunny RD had to play against a trio of pre-teen trash talking sisters, and got his revenge through a Mortal Kombat II babality. Vince thinks they were smoking and drinking for some reason. RD made sure the Bunny outfit was cleaned beforehand.

 

  • Special Guest Villain: The Archer (Art Carney)


  • Screen Captures: 1. RD
  • Window Celebrity: 1. Dick Clark

 

Episode 37: Holy Jumble!: April 17, 2022

Batman: The Movie (1966) (Part Three)
"The Dynamic Duo faces four supervillains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people."
76 minutes

[Part One, in which the Dynamic Duo are saved by an almost human porpoise.]
[Part Two, in which the Dark Knight just can't get rid of a bomb.]

"RD Prefers Water Light & Soft" Vince blames him for giving his beleaguered website colleague Jeff Lane confusion light and soft for again giving him trouble with episode numbering. RD gives some random words ala Blade. Vince: "Interesting."

RD learned the movie was released between the seasons.

The Duo take Penguin to the Batcave, unaware of his pocket G.P. guinea pigs. (:05) They awaken him, and of course the first thing he does is squawk before he remembers he must be British and asks for a glass of water. Batman directs him to the clearly marked water dispenser to "slay your thirst". Penguin responds with ten dollar pound words as he gets his goons in a row re-hydrated. 

RD is confused by the furniture around the house without any signs or labels.

Robin: "Holy hallucinations!"
Batman: "It's five dehydrated pirates re-hydrated!"

However Penguin has failed to notice he has moved a switch from light to heavy water (used within the atomic pile). Batman kicks the supposedly now 'anti-matter' goons into nothingness as a cow moos for some reason.Vince wonders if this could be Botchamania worthy. RD pretends to call Maffew. Robin makes a sad face as he wonders if he may have been involved in vigilante manslaughter. Batman: "No, Robin, they're not coming back. Not in this universe." 

Penguin tries to hang on a ladder rather than just run out the nearby exit. Batman thinks the "Commodore" was coerced into working for the villains to sneak in their goons, so they gas him and take him out in a now two-rowed Batmobile. Robin wonders what their plan now is. Batman responds by giving him an Anti-Penguin gas pill. They then wake up the Penguin again (who responds with a "good morning") then deliberately stop the Batmobile. Penguin immediately gasses them with his umbrella, then assumes control of the returned Birdmobile

The Duo then get their stunt doubles to go 200 miles per hour on a very unsafe Mobile Batcycle to get to the Batcopter to track him, during which they de-attach Robin's side-car go-kart to go an additional 25 feet. Vince wonders what happened to all the vehicular props as the series went on. RD wonders why they didn't just reuse the footage. 

Meanwhile the other villains are back in the submarine. (:22)
Catwoman: "
Penguin finished Batman by now."
Riddler: "
Why, that miserable waddling mountebank of a bird? He couldn't finish a bag of popcorn!"
He launches more riddle missiles (riddiles?) as Joker shouts at him like an "inept dad", one of which actually hits the Batcopter. Batman: "This could be the end!" RD adjusts his headphones as an eyepatch to look like Batman. Thankfully they land on "foam rubber in its crudest form" at a wholesaler's convention. Batman notes the astronomical odds, already forgetting that he was saved by an almost human porpoise.

Solving the riddles with more twisted logic they discover the villains' plan to hit the United World Organization during a meeting of its Security Council.
Robin: "Let's commandeer a taxi!"
Batman: "No, Robin. Not at this time of day. Luckily, we're in tip-top condition. It'll be faster if we run."
Cue their stunt doubles running in front of a rear-projection.

Catwoman's tight outfit as she takes her turn looking through a periscope enticed RD as well as another goon. Penguin rejoins the group as they disembark the docked submarine and blow up the doors using Riddler's wax and some meandering cats. (:31) Penguin launches a gas-spraying umbrella straight towards the camera like a javelin causing two guards to fall into an arch.
Penguin: "Hold your breaths as we cross the hall. There are still lingering traces of my finely filtered Penguin gas."
The Bros find it funny they didn't come with gas masks for such a situation, even if he did warn them.

The villains find the nine council members engaged in a stereotypical shouting match over world peace, paying them no attention as they zap them into differently colored powders. The Duo enter an elevator where Batman ad-libs trying to find the right button to press. 

In the chamber he shouts at the villains, who have all gone back to their regular masks, to surrender, or risk getting hit by their Batarangs. Catwoman manages to get their group to escape by threatening Kitka. At least Penguin remembered to put his monocle over his mask.

They find the state of the council due to the "fiendishly clever" machinations.
Robin: "Where does that elevator go?"
Batman: "Downstairs, obviously...We have just one trump card left, Robin. Heaven help the world if we fail."

Back in the submarine the villains are finally happy together for once, as they plan to ransom the powdered members for $1 billion each. This lasts for all of 60 seconds. Then Riddler goes to launch more riddiles as Dad Joker shouts at him to be straight for once. (Yes, even the Joker of all people has his limits.) Catwoman flirts with a very confused Penguin while laying on top of a piano in what looks to be tight body-paint. Penguin: "Shut up, you feline floozy!"

The Batboat closes in on the submarine so Riddler has to fire at them (ideally straight on target). Having studied the riddiles earlier Batman has tuned the Bat-Transmitter for Robin to deflect them away from the Duo. "Holy Bikini!" They then fire Batcharges to try and surface the submarine. Penguin orders his goons to "run silent, run deep." Dad Joker decides to rise anyway for the sake of their lives and their captives. 

The Duo themselves decide to get on top of the submarine instead of using their doubles, which has Batman fighting with a giant wrench for some reason (and not even a Batwrench). Dad Joker takes the opportunity to punch Riddler overboard. 

Catwoman throws a fake cat at Batman who holds on to it while fighting before putting it in a life boat: "Bon voyage, Pussy," he whispers in post-production. She kicks them off where they fight in the water before the Duo suddenly subdue the male villains and tie them to the top of the sub. She tries to escape into the vessel but trips and loses his mask, leading Batman to finally realize she was Kitka all along. He stares forlornly into the empty air with tears in his eyes for a full minute as Finella's song plays. 

Robin: "Holy heartbreak!"
Batman: "It's just one of those things...in the life...of every crimefighter...it means nothing...slap on the Batcuffs...say no more Robin...it could be compromising."

This was Lee Meriweather's only turn as the Catwoman, among a television career that still continues to recent days. The Bros thought she did a good job under the circumstances and give her 8 Batpoles. 

Batman calls the Coast Guard to pick up the submarine "filled with human jettison". (:54) Perhaps his heart break hardened him against the possible redemption of his fellow man. He then goes back down to gather the vials before they fall off the table. The real Commodore then appears, trips, knocks the vials out of his hands, then sneezes, sending the dust everywhere.
Robin: "Holy jumble! Where's the hope of the world now?" 

This necessitates having to use the Batcave's Super Molecular Dust Separator. Batman, not wearing his gloves, updates Gordon on the case, so he in turn can update President Johnson. The backs of Aunt Harriet and Alfred are simulcast during this. Sadly neither Bro has a screen capture, so Vince instead shows his phone with Stephanie (McMahon) not wearing her wedding ring. 

Batman is making sure the "ethnic and national factors" are as they should be. Robin suggests some mixing up for a different and perhaps better outcome, but Batman reminds him why this is a bad idea from earlier experience with the anti-matter pirates. They say this just as the separating completes, so Batman tells Gordon to tell Johnson to tell the countries of the world (all two of them during the Cold War, right?).

The vials are taken back to the Security Council, where Batman, holding a regular garden hose hooked up to a "light water soft" water dispenser, takes a solemn moment before telling Robin to turn it on. It works and the members are back to arguing without missing a beat...except they are all now shouting in different languages.

Robin: "What about this?"
Batman: "Who knows, Robin? This strange mixing of minds may be the greatest single service ever performed for humanity. Let's go, but, inconspicuously, through the window. We'll use our Batropes. Our job is finished."

THE LIVING END......?

Vince has yet to find the movie on Blu-Ray but found Meredith's skin complexion smooth. RD finds the movie made $4 million on a $1.4 million budget, a commercial success. 

Next time is a return to the series, in a new second season of 60 episodes. RD estimates it will take a year and two months to get through at their pace. The third season has another 26.

RD will be a very tall Easter bunny who will not be playing whack-a-mole.

 

  • Special Guest Villains: Catwoman [2] (Lee Meriwether), The Joker [4] (Cesar Romero) [4], The Penguin [4] (Burgess Meredith) [4], The Riddler [5] (Frank Gorshin) [5]

  • Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Foam rubber in its crudest form

Episode 36: Holy Bomb!: April 10, 2022

Batman: The Movie (1966) (Part Two)
"The Dynamic Duo faces four supervillains who plan to hold the world for ransom with the help of a secret invention that instantly dehydrates people."
67 minutes

[Part One, in which the Dynamic Duo are saved by an almost human porpoise.]
[Part Three, in which the Boy Wonder helps kill radioactive goons.]

Vince gives himself applause. "You Also Can't Get Rid of RD". Vince gives him boos.

Former WCW Head Writer Vince Russo finds writing about a Batman TV series is "the most ridiculous thing in the world", even more so than wrestling. He does it extensively anyway since he knows RD does too on his end. 

The Duo do a choreographed walk around Gordon's office to confirm "his blackest fears" of what they are up against.
Gordon: "
The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!"
Batman: "
We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over... "
O'Hara: "Take over what, Batman? Gotham City?"
Batman: "Any two of them would try that!"
Gordon: "The whole country?"
Batman: "If it were three of them, I would say yes, but four? Their minimum objective must be...the entire world." 

The villains are in fact next planning to strike the United Nations World Organization, headquartered in Gotham. (:09) Catwoman is upset at the men for letting the Duo escape. Penguin: "Passing porpoises which intercept torpedoes! There ought to be a piscivorous statute!" He plans to send his exploding octopus after them. Riddler thinks they should trap and launch them using a riddle from the Joker's "Jack in the Box" into the octopus. To do this they need Catwoman as Kitka to help kidnap Bruce, poor multimillionaire.

RD wonders how Bruce would not notice Kitka visiting Stately Wayne Manor was Catwoman, much like how Gordon doesn't notice Bruce was Batman. Kitka tells him his picture is a constant presence in the Moscow Bugle. Vince thinks it's because of his philanthropy. I think it's for the Soviets to highlight the decadent actions of a capitalist proletariat playboy or so. She also has some riddles that she wants to give to "that masked Cossack Batman". Bruce is thinking too much on wanting to take her to dinner to notice the way she replies "purrr-fect". Vince thinks he knows who she really is but he doesn't want to think it. 

Bruce has Alfred cancel his earlier plans (Mrs. Deal thought it was another date) then goes down to the Batcave to figure things out with Robin.
Batman: "What has yellow skin and writes?"
Robin: "A ballpoint banana!"
Batman: "What people are always in a hurry?"
Robin: "Russians!"
Batman: "Now what would you say they mean?"
Robin: "Someone Russian is going to slip on a banana peel and break their neck!"
Batman: "Precisely, Robin!"
He vows to protect Kitka for "being in favor of international relations", or he will bash Riddler "brutally". He asks the two to follow him and Kitka on their date (after he makes sure Alfred has his driver's license), then leaves via the Compressed Steam Batpole Lift.

Bruce's attempts to woo Kitka at dinner (:20) include two buccaneers as violinists and sitting in a horse-drawn carriage. The Batmobile follows them slowly, driven by Alfred wearing a derby and a Lone Ranger mask with his glasses over it. At a rather dingy nightclub they dance to the tones of Julie "Finella" Gregg, sadly singing to a somewhat bad song instead of doing any odd poses.

Bruce: "This curtain which separates our countries is so foolish. If we could just contrive some way of getting more deeply involved with each other."
Kitka: "Da, we must search for such a method." 

She whispers something to him as Robin and Alfred watch in the Batmobile from a rather weird camera angle. Robin wants to leave them be to call Gordon to light the Batsignal to draw out the criminals (Alfred likes to watch) as they pass the Benedict Arnold monument. RD: "What kind of city is this?" Vince is confused by their usage of stunt doubles in wide shots of the carriage.

Kitka: "I close my eyes and l dream of all those savage Cossacks racing over the steppes on their brutal mission."
Bruce: "How strange. I close my eyes, and I dream of something quite astonishingly different."
Kitka tries to discreetly use her Cat-Transmitter to inform her colleagues while holding Bruce and making cross-eyed smiles. Bruce continues to keep his eyes closed: "It approaches a climax." 

At her penthouse Kitka finally kisses Bruce, then goes to change while he has his cocoa. Even Robin who is still watching all this on camera has his limits, to the displeasure of Alfred. She appears wearing a rather sensual pink robe that overwhelms Bruce so much he recites a few lines of Poe. At least he still has his book smarts. Vince thinks RD should do the same with his wife. 

Before they can get any summit going the others villains break in through the window, descending on the Penguin's flying umbrellas while wearing masks for some reason. Bruce vows to kill them all for his Bat blue balls before fighting in a style that looks strangely familiar to Batman's. Let me clarify. Adam West fights in a style that looks strangely familiar to Batman's, and he does a good job of it outside the suit and cowl and stunt double. But he gets overwhelmed, and Robin checks too late to find they are gone.
Robin: "Holy demolition!"
Alfred: "Bless my dustpan!"
RD was saddened Catwoman was not riding side-saddle on an umbrella.

At the lair the villains are confused by Batman's lateness. (:36) Bruce continues to vow death and destruction if Kitka was harmed, so Catwoman has him blindfolded to see "her". RD is confused why he still hasn't made the connection yet after seeing the two with his own eyes. Vince thinks he's too in love. "Love is blind." RD: "And so is Bruce."

Bruce: "This nasty soup we're in is largely of my own brewing."
Kitka reassures him that Batman will come to save them. Not expecting him to show up, Bruce has his eye-rolling "captive" get his hidden transmitter up his shirt sleeve. "Capitalists, like myself, who carry large sums of money, often have such safety contrivances." 

This cues yet another fight with West. Since he is actually fighting this means the villains have to take their turn with obvious stunt doubles. In the confusion a goon is sprung out the window into the exploding octopus. Bruce runs out, searching for Miss Kitka, before jumping out a window onto a roof and then into the sea. He reemerges at Stately Wayne Manor completely dry, assuring Gordon who is there waiting for him that things are fine. 

The villains lament yet another plan failing, so they have to resort to the Commodore's secret ingredient invention: instant whiskey maker total dehydrator. (:45) 

Penguin orders Riddler to fetch goons dressed as guinea pigs, then zaps them into piles of dust that can be later rehydrated back to normal form. He orders the piles kept in separate vials which he will take with him as part of his plan to infiltrate the Batcave from the inside: "Careful, careful, every one of them has a mother." Catwoman just brooms them up all haphazardly anyway.

The Duo arrive at the dock and take their time on a barely connected Batarang to climb a low wall.
Robin: "When you think, Batman, with people in weird outfits, like the four supercrooks hangin' around, it's amazing someone hasn't already reported this place to the police!"
Batman: "It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions."
Robin: "Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes!"
But if one was sober, how would they able to write this show and movie? And would alcohol help Robin not turn to male pattern baldness again when at the top of the wall?

Also somebody popped their head out of the window, but neither myself or the Bros could find out who it was. Perhaps we can attribute that to alcoholic delusions.

Inside they only find a lit giant bomb. Batman tells Robin to retreat to a safe distance while he...first tries to find Kitka. Unable to find her, he has to pick up and carry the bomb because of a nearby band playing another bad song (but on purpose). He tells the crowd to disperse as he goes through quite the sequence as the fuse continues to tick...only to be stopped at the last moment by ducklings.

 


Batman (to the camera): "Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb!" 

But of course he succeeds, dumping it in some materials offscreen to cover the blow.
Robin: "Holy heart failure!...You risked your life to save that... riff-raff in the bar!"
Batman: "They may be drinkers, Robin, but they're also human beings - and may be salvaged. I had to do it!" 

Suddenly the Penguin shows up dressed as Schmidlapp and asks to be taken to the Batcave. (:56) Even Robin recognizes who he really is: "Holy costume party!" RD is confused: if they can recognize him, why then do they not recognize Kitka as Catwoman? 

They can't take his fingerprints because he's burned them, so the Duo have to confer on other ways of identification. Penguin (overhearing): "RETINAL EYE PATTERNS?" He somehow knows they can do that in the "fabulous" Batcave. What he doesn't know is they will have to gas him for the privilege, or even what gas does (usually) despite having using it plenty of times before, including the previous series episode he was in. Penguin: "What dutifully strange customs you colonials have!"

The Bros feel Joker is not being used as much as he does, with most of the action being done by the other three. RD wants a figure of his stunt double. Still they love the movie so far. Vince wishes to find bloopers and outtakes.  

Channel Attitude is finally going live and is supporting clips of the video progrem and others. 


  • Special Guest Villains: Catwoman [2] (Lee Meriwether), The Joker [4] (Cesar Romero) [4], The Penguin [4] (Burgess Meredith) [4], The Riddler [5] (Frank Gorshin) [5]
 
  • Screen Captures: 3. RD, RD, RD
  • Fact or Fiction: 2

TammyTrolla Goes Off in The Worst Way Possible!

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Wait! Hold up! Stop the TammyTrolla! Looks like Tammy Lynn Sytch has once again done something cringe-worthy. Unfortunately. This may have been the worst thing Tams has ever done.


Tamara Lynn Sytch, known by her ring name "Sunny," failed to stop around 8:28 p.m. while driving southbound on U.S. 1 just north of Granada Boulevard and crashed into a stopped vehicle.

A WWE Hall of Famer was involved in a fatal three-car crash on U.S. 1 on Friday, March 25, and Ormond Beach Police say the ongoing investigation may result in criminal charges.

According to a press release, Tamara Lynn Sytch, known by her ring name "Sunny," failed to stop around 8:28 p.m. while driving southbound on U.S. 1 just north of Granada Boulevard and crashed into a stopped vehicle, which then crashed into the vehicle in front of it. The driver of the vehicle hit by Sytch, identified as Julian Lafrancis Lasseter of Daytona Beach Shores, was transported to Halifax Health Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead. 

Sytch, 49, was also transported to Halifax Health for treatment, but was later released. A search warrant was approved and executed to obtain a blood sample, which police are using to investigate if Sytch was impaired at the time of the crash. Toxicology results are pending. 
The driver and passengers in the third vehicle suffered injuries, but were not transported to the hospital, police report. 

OBPD states it has requested an expedited timeframe on the processing of Sytch's samples. The results will be made available once the department receives them. 


Let us hope that Tams is okay. We all know that Sunny has gone through some terrible stuff but we don't want her to be harmed in any way, shape, or form.