Vote for the 2011 Gooker!

So...remember when the Fruitcakes were talking about having more radio progrems to make up for being lazy so much last year for some reason?

The year is over.
Our Christmas gift to the Twelve:
Lots more shows next year.

Yeah...about that. Nothing's happened yet, and January's almost up. I'm not saying heads should roll here, but I hate to be proven right yet again. At this rate I should just concentrate on actual writing instead of waiting on others to help 'prompt' it for me...though I would still be too lazy regardless. Hmmm.

Anyway though. To make up for it you once again have the opportunity to vote on what you may consider the worst thing to happen in pro wres - sports entertainment I mean - in the past year (at least from random postings on RD's Facebook page on what was subjectively considered the worst). This has given me the good excuse to write about it here and point you to the poll if you didn't know already, so go ahead and do it.

Last year we were 'blessed' with these following nominees.

  • Joker Sting and his Watchbird (TNA): Poor Steve Borden. He's in what should be his fine twilight years in the business and TNA made him all go Joker on his enemies. Of course being TNA, they aimed for Christopher Nolan and instead became Joel Schumacher, having this now "Insane Icon" having a BIRD of all things terrorize people. Apparently they thought the Joker and the Penguin were one and the same; or someone in TNA's back office was talking about how good looking the Joker's 'chick' was, and instead of Dixie Carter being smart enough to dress up a Knockout as Harley Quinn gave Sting a rather harmless pigeon. Still, he's better than that kangaroo mascot they had for one week. (To be sure, I'm not knocking Sting here. He clearly looked like he was having fun with the whole thing and I love that. It's just the way the corporation has been handling it has been nothing but asinine; they should at least make SOMETHING solid from it instead of the confusion we have here.)
  • The Winter/Angelina Love Storyline (TNA): Speaking of TNA fucking up what should normally be an automatic winner, we have yet another convoluted angle from the company. A girl is stalked by another girl only she can 'see', gets 'drugged' voudu-style to do her bidding, then just remains that way even after that part 'ends'. Perhaps she secretly likes the sadomasochism involved. With the problems of a complete change of characters, things that would definitely be illegal in normal society (even in the weird confines of pro wres - sports entertainment), implied rape of all things, the bad side winning and CLAIMING the good side, ruining a wrestler's career prospects by pushing them down the card (which no one wants their angle to do), and another TNA style abrupt 'conclusion', this has the definite hallmarks of an induction. So why not sooner rather than later?
  • Michael Cole (WWE): Poor, poor, poor Sean Coulthard. People rarely remember when he actually had a credible career as a valuable journalist for CBS Radio, reporting on Bill Clinton's presidential campaign, Waco, and the Oklahoma City Bombing among other things. Then he goes to WWE and wins the Wrestling Observer's Worst Television Announcer 'award' thrice for the terrible job he's been generally doing. At least Mike Adamle was smart enough with deliberately being bad to rile up people, of which he was very good at. Cole is trying his best to be the heel announcer, bless his heart...but with the way he and WWE are doing things, it's just not working. And the last year isn't helping his case much either. Until things change and they actually get things the way they want it (i.e. good), he's still going to have to fight against those who oppose him. Like in this case.
  • The "Walkout" (WWE): Hunter 'dismisses' his father-in-law from his onscreen role with a badly said line (which strangely is even worse than some of the things he said in The Chaperone), continues to maintain the status quo, gets into 'conflicts' with the rest of the 'roster', said 'roster' (filled with mostly mid-carders and other peoples including the production crew, but 'oddly' enough none of the main eventers) walk out on him for 'safety reasons' (which as anyone who's followed the industry for a while can tell you is rather hilarious in its irony), and then gets 'replaced' by Johnny Ace who promptly drops the whole angle, never to be heard from again. Emperor, it sounds like something WCW would dream up in its dying days to try and keep itself afloat, except this is WWE which is showing little signs of collapse. You'd think they would have something just focusing on CM Punk's Attitude Era reign and shaking things up in the company, but nope! That would make sense, and sense is the last thing on their mind.
  • The dropped "Mystery" Raw GM (WWE): You can now add the identity of the mysterious RAW GM to whoever drove that White Hummer, Baby Doll's incriminating Dusty Rhodes photos, and Blade's "Big Announcements" as things that will never be uncovered. For months we wondered who was 'running' the show through that damn computer of theirs, which was all for naught as it just vanished one day. Perhaps someone accidentally dropped and broke it and that was the only one the GM could afford. Fuck, for all we know I could have been that GM somehow through time traveling shenanigans. Whatever the case, feel free to make up your own answers to this; it would certainly be more satisfying than anything they may have had planned for it to end, that's for damn sure.
  • Sting vs. Jeff Hardy at Victory Road 2011 (TNA): What a clusterfuck that was. FIGHTING IN THE MAIN EVENT NO LESS, Jeff was literally 'in no condition to perform', though this did not stop TNA from continuing with the match as planned anyway, and was defeated in just one move in 88 seconds in front of a 'sell-out' crowd of 1100 people. Absolutely terrible on all fronts. Even if it doesn't win for some reason it should still be written about for the site. Hell, I'd ask to do it for kicks; I guess I'd have clout now that I write for the site in some capacity.
  • WWE's obsession with Twitter (#WWE): #Overkill, pure and simple. Sure, Twitter is popular with the #peoplethesedays, many things are right now. #thatshowweroll. But the way that the @WWEUniverse has been all over the #socialnetworking site like a loner masturbating to a nudie mag is, well, #madness. Could you imagine if @WWE did that with #Myspace and how annoying THAT would be? And we all know what happened to THEM, right? #Epicfail, truly. And for all we know, this #trendingonTwitter may last about as long and positively in #thepubliceye as most #Divasmatches are currently. Hell, Twitter itself may go #thewayofthedodo by the end of the year and make WWE look like it has an #eggontheface from all the #dicksucking it's been doing. Let's hope they don't get that #obnoxious ever again.

You have until the next Friday from this posting (the 26th) to vote on it. So what are you waiting for? It's free, it's quick, and it's less painful than listening to the radio progrem. Trust me, you won't regret it.

#Premier #Blah

Happy Holidays from "The Other RD"

Time to do my CM Punk impersonation here.


"I'm BBAACCKK!!!"

Missed me gang? "The Other RD" here Raging_Demons on wrestlecrapradio.com. Some of you might know me by now as my previous work on NoDQ.com, AngryMarks, & F.A.N. (my low point in my career so far). Yes I did piss off the YouTube IWC off but thanks to work & school I was hiding away for a bit. Thanks to a little thing called "illegal pictures" & "caught with some sheep" I was recruited here on this fine ole website here editing our "Wrestlecrap Radio Glossary" from time-to-time when I can but that doesn't matter now.

What matters is this...


There we go. Now then...

If I had one Christmas wish for this world today for this holiday season it would be peace & happiness throughout the world.

You know come to think of it what other things that can create peace & happiness? Strippers. I'm changing it to peace & happiness in the world; followed by all the strippers I can have sex with.

Then again...Having the WWE Divas not botch a lot would be a great thing, especially for Beth Phoenix recently on RAW. So it's Peace throughout the world, all the strippers I can have sexy time with, & Non-botchy Divas.

Wait-wait-wait-wait! How about this! If I had TWO wishes, oh yeah, it would be that I would win any Mega Numbers/Powerball/any type of lottery's 6-out of-6 numbers right & have the jackpot all to myself that way I can win the giant $250 million dollar jackpots they climb up to. Yeah! Also that wish for world peace, strippers, & non-botchy Divas.

Okay-Okay-Okay. Let's go all "Aladdin" MINUS that damn monkey & Robin Williams as the freakin' genie & have 3 wishes where my 3rd wish is the ability to make everybody that I hate go SQUISH! Michelle McCool, "Skeletor" to you & me, gone! Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, POOF! Yeah! Also all that crap for world peace, strippers, Divas, & winning every Lottery out there.

You know what? Things are getting pretty complicated around here so let's make it 4 Wishes! Have all the free sexy time with strippers & no-botch Divas go here. Yeah, sounds right. So I have winning every Lottery, make "Skeletor" go bye-bye, strippers sex & Divas, & of course world peace.

Wait a minute! Take out the stripper sex, I can get all that I want by winning the Lottery! Just go in a club, "make it rain" $100 dollar bills & next thing you know I'll be breaking the ole myth of "no sex in the VIP room". So it'll be winning the Lottery whenever I want, bye-bye Rocky, no es botchy WWE Divas, then all the world peace you can have.

Then again world peace is impossible & people might get suspicious if I show up winning every Lottery there is. Hrm... Okay let's do it like this: Getting rid of the botchy WWE Divas first because it's needed for pro wrestling business, then I can have "Skeletor" & Dwayne go bye-bye from reality because who needs them?!? Winning every Lottery next but I do it sparingly like Biff Tannen in "Back to the Future 2" when he has the Sports Almanac, then all that world peace crap.

Aw crap! I forgot taking out the Bronies! They are an obnoxious bunch if you DARE attack their TV show. Damn it! Okay we take out "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" thus we get rid of those damn Bronies, winning every Lottery next, getting rid of people that I hate next, saying good-bye to all those WWE Divas that super botch...

And my 5th and final wish would be world peace.

Aw screw this crap! This is getting all complicated; I'm going to go get drunk.

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year from all of us at Wrestlecrapradio.com

Swear Jar Tally 2011


As skillfully done on Microsoft Excel.

The trendline shows a slight increase of the average of Brakestown's antics on air. Of course, that line may not be fully accurate, but making it to match more accurate measures is hard work, and the MathTrolla hasn't been invented yet (which would probably turn out to look like an old Casio calculator with half of its buttons not functioning properly).

  • Average tally per show: $3.33
  • "Smallest" "donation": April 1st ($0.00), but that was only because it was a full hour of Mike Check's audio fellatio with his co-host.
  • "Smallest" "Smallest" "donation": April 29th ($0.50), but again that was due to Blade not being 'on air' all that time.
  • Smallest Smallest "donation": May 20th ($0.75)
  • "Largest" "donation": December 16th ($6.00) Technically it was $2 but I 'rounded' it up a bit because I figured why not.
  • Largest Largest "donation": January 14th ($7.00)

    I want Blade to hit $100 next year so we can call him up and ask him what he thinks about Don's work rate.

    Minisode #204 Ding Dong Angrily on High

    by iggy



    December 16, 2011

    30 Seconds with Blade
    Sir Alec Heineken
    Angry Jim at Dollar General

    #hot ashley mess #raisins

    Random Thoughts from the Office: December 16, 2011

    It should be a joyous time around the offices of Clarence "Showstealer" Mason: Attorney at Law. It should be time for reflection and celebration; not only did I get the Trolla corporation buyout done, (Cause seriously, that Chris Engler guy...just between you and me I think he may have had something to do with the destruction of the Nation of Domination's locker room. I've got my eye on you Engler, just saying) But I was also going to be the attorney for Lita in her court battle, a chance to get what Braxton never could. I should be on cloud nine, on top of the world ready to spread cheer and joy and fun in this Random Thoughts column.

    But I'm not.

    Why? Two Reasons.

    1) Mr. Yak. Paying the swear jar for Blade to RD, making Blah feel guilty and wanting to repay you. Where do think that comes from? Hmmm....Considering my fees were out of that money. (Feel Free to keep The Price is Right game though. Cause seriously, fuck that game).

    And

    2) The reason for my column today.

    Twitter.

    Now don't get me wrong. [I never do. - PB] I understand that Twitter is the hot social medium nowadays, cause God knows our cell phone generation can't process anything past 140 characters. But I get it, it's a place to just quickly say whatever's on your mind. Heck, I have one (Not that I hardly ever use it...and I'm not sure where that name came from...). [Me too. But it's the same story with me also.] So I really, really understand how it's a cool thing. I mean, it does feel good when you can get people like Taz to bitch at you over it (He's a Jets fan, what the hell does he know?), it's fun, it's easy to use, and people might care what you say.

    But when you mix it into wrestling, then you have problems.

    Look, I have no problem with the wrestlers having twitter accounts. It keeps them close to their fans, makes them human and a little bit more accessible. But when you bring that into storylines or you get awards for the "Trending Star of the Year" that's when you cross the line from "Accessible" to "Fucking Obnoxious", and that's not a slap down of Zack Ryder. I follow him, I see what he has to say, he's gotten himself over thanks to Twitter and his YouTube videos, but, and I know I'm going to sound a "Grumpy Old Schooler" here, but can we at least TRY to get him over on wrestling ability and get through ONE match without mentioning how he's the most followed superstar on Twitter? Once, please?

    But while the WWE's recent upswing in Twitter is annoying and asinine, it's ultimately harmless and wouldn't really piss me off enough to do a column.

    So leave it to TNA to take things from "Fucking Obnoxious" to "Completely Fucking Stupid".

    You see Dixie Carter, Bruce Pritchard and the writing staff....Okay probably just Vince Russo; they saw the WWE mentioning Twitter so much and saw the chatter and thought "By Golly we can outdo them! And make our company look THAT much more bush league in the meantime."

    And since it worked so well last time, it's time once again folks for us to play Fantasy Booker: The Home Game.

    Suppose you have a match. A cage match between Jeff Hardy, fresh off coming back from his drug related hiatus, and Jeff Jarrett. You've built it up pretty well, it has a fair amount of heat, but you think it needs something more to put it over the top. A stipulation that will put it over the top. That either Jeff Hardy, Jeff Jarrett or Karen Angle/Jarrett will be fired and Karen will be handcuffed at ringside.

    Do you

    A) Announce the stipulation on Impact on the last show before the Pay Per View, a show watched by roughly 1.5 million people per week and would get people talking. I mean it draws well enough that Spike TV would let you insert a quick 30 second thing right?

    OR

    B) Announce the stipulation on Dixie Carter's Twitter feed at about roughly midnight Saturday morning, a Twitter account that at the time I write this had 108,513 followers or roughly one fifteenth of the people who watch Impact. Then on the Pay Per View, offhandedly mentioned, not only NOT deliver on the stipulation that night but use your Pay Per View to plug the TV show 4 days later?

    If you answered B. Congratulations, you're an idiot and are thus qualified to write for TNA.

    I'm not saying Twitter can not be a good accompaniment to wrestling. If you want to put the wrestlers Twitter handles in the name cards, go ahead. But when the wrestlers mention it in their promos, or you mention it on the show mention how you're "Trending" you don't look cool, you look like a mark and when you start adding stipulations to pay per view matches over Twitter you don't look cutting edge, you look bush league, and when everything already thinks you're bush league the last thing you want to do is give them more ammo.

    @Clarence"Showstealer"Mason

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