|"Just buy some damn tubs!”|
RD has seen just about all the old Christmas movies so he is forced to watch newer (and worse) ones, one of them so bad he will be writing about it next week (after having subjected his wife to it too). Sadly it is not that “naked” Dusty Rhodes Christmas movie that was released in a January.
Blade makes his “joke of the week”. (:05)
Blade's Royals have won the World Series after 30 years and the Lions beat the Packers at Lambeau after 24 years. He recorded them on VHS (:07) Meanwhile Payton Manning is not growing younger and Andrew Luck is getting more injured. RD does his "David Carr rant".
Oddly enough at no point does their football expert call in to give 'advice'. I guess it's because no one unique of note was injured this week. I say unique because Tony Romo was injured. Yes, again. Poor guy can't catch a break (or throw one for that matter). I just hope he doesn't get traded to the Jets.
According to yours truly WWCR is six (freaking) hours long and has scales. Like a fish? And it gets played twice. So 12 hours long then? (:12)
RD surprises himself by not listening to the ad copy beforehand as if to avoid spoilers. Blade remembers he was looking for a Co Hosss “coach” from the earlier/interim Show. Yes, what a surprise he didn't follow up on that. Or his Big Announcement. Truly it is such a shock.
Also he can't count.
Also WC is still sponsoring itself. (:16) Their Black Friday Sale includes a discounted Archives at $12.95. That's like $2 off if I can't count either. They also have those Amazon links that give them some money when used to buy stuff. Like the new Death Of WCW, available in physical and Kindle format!
:20 The Festive TRIP to Black Friday music is loud on RD's side, but for some reason Blade says he can't hear it.
The duo have been on so many Black Fridays Blade needs a list to keep track of them. Well, SPEAKING OF lists, I wonder which reference site has a easy to search lid of all their Black Friday outings...
RD went to Mayer's where he was confused by how much kitty litter was being bought by so many people. This included a family of five prematurely aging rednecks discussing it. This includes the “stupid” mother wondering why it's not spelled “little” instead of litter and the father quoting: “honey, it's so much cheaper than the *bleep* you buy. Just buy the damn stuff!”
Yes, the man probably censored himself too as he spoke on the day.
:36 Like Tammy, Dawn Marie has some strange name rules. One of her names Dawny sounds like washing detergent. Blade cheers RD'S joke of Dawny Marie like one of their audiences.
The pantsless Brother Midnight will return to the ring on Dec 4th at CWE's Rumble to Remember. (:41) Blade thinks one of their talent, named Tommy Lee Curtis, has the gimmick of being Jamie Lee’s sister which is so bad that even RD laughs at it, and he is the master of bad gimmicks. They then watch Jermaine Jackson sing the theme song from Perfect, a movie Jamie Lee was in which according to Blade could make Tommy Lee “Mr. Perfect”. (:46)
And yes, John Travolta is her love interest. That's all I'm saying on the subject.
According to Melina, her long term boyfriend John Morrison takes Cialis. (:51) Is he also one of those guys in their advertisements sitting in the bathtub of their advertisements still waiting for WWE to call him?
Blade: "You might stick it in your peehole."
RD: (100 'kids' later) "I don't know why I started this show again either. You have to forgive me."
Jim Ross then calls. (:54) Bob Caudle used his large and excess supply of Vaseline (used alongside some Dark Journey head scissors) to wax his van which attracted bugs on their way to Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. He makes Blade laugh. He asked John Morrison for BBQ ideas and he suggested Cialis in the turkey rub to keep you up. This was all well and good until children got into it and then had “fun” with the pies. Apparently Jim needs to take some Cialis too as he forgets what else he wanted to say. “Go fluff yourself!” he says instead.
Tammy has a “new” website. (:59) In keeping with her style it's based in Wix, the Geocities of the ‘10s. And looks like it too. As expected she has items for sale, none of them with Shawn Michaels’ signature for some reason.
It will also be her 43rd birthday soon so the Fruitcakes once again look up her Amazon wishlist (available through their Amazon links). It's still under her “old” name of Tammy.
:71 Paul O’Parka has a question about Star Wars. This leads to heated discussion including the following:
- RD watched the movies with his son.
- He sees the movies differently now than when he first saw them.
- He argues with Blade about how as average as it is Revenge Of The Sith is better than Return Of The Jedi as a whole.
- Said Return included (in his opinion) the blasted teddy bear Ewoks, a neutered Han Solo (shouldn't that be frozen?) accidently poking Boba Fett into a sarlacc; and Slave Leia not looking as good as Princess, Hoth, or Bespin Leia (though more under an influence, but at least we have the Force to thank for Carrie Fisher to defeat that and be better and funnier than ever, bless her heart).
- He thinks the movie could have been cut down to 75 minutes rather than its bloated Jabba the Hutt/Death Star II size.
- He thought Attack Of The Clones had some good (better) pieces.
- He would prefer to watch III’s General Grievous, who if you've forgotten already (and I don't blame you) was a coughing and wheezing vaudeville cyborg who was shot to death by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
|"He has four arms! He would make a perfect arm wrestling champion gimmick!"|
- 1990's Vince McMahon/Alternative universe wrestling tycoon George Lucas
Also: more credible world champion than Sheamus
:80 The argument spills over to Current Wrestling News instead of RD spilling something else (when he ejaculates).
RD: "I guarantee you. I don't like to make guarantees on this show. I guarantee you this show that you are listening to right now kids is historic. I promise you in the history of Planet Earth no two geeks have ever argued over the merits of bad Star Wars movies while the theme from Coliseum Home Video played in the background."
TNA has had yet another stay of execution. This sounds like the makings of a new show segment to be sure. Now they've gone on Pop TV...the former TV Guide Channel, truly the perfect place for professional wrestling! Sadly for Blade it's not a soda-based channel, as he wonders about in a bad joke. RD counters with his own bad joke about Snap and Crackle TV. Blade counters counters with a really obscure joke about WWE moving to Spike TV back in the day.
Also there are reports that TNA is actually paying protection money for their time rather than the usual other way round, a sure sign of a desperate action if ever I've heard one.
To no one's surprise, a lackluster Survivor Series (starring your new world champion Sheamus...again) creates record low ratings for RAW, dropping under 3 million viewers for the first time since its expansion to 3 hours. (:85) Somehow RD offended people when telling them so on Facebook.
Eva Marie was booed on NXT for a rather bad promo, among other bad things. To be sure, it's not like she's been in the business long or anything due to being on NXT...oh wait. She's a two year veteran who's one of the main 'protagonists' on that awful Total Divas progrem. Why am I not surprised? Or surprised that the (Montreal based!) pornographic company Brazzers would make her a job offer (among other wrestlers they've contacted, more for publicity than anything lasting really).
Normally I would go on about how often such...adult content would be a step up for most of the Divas on the roster...but knowing her skills, I fear it would end pretty badly. Not badly in the sense of grossing people out ala Joanie Laurer, but in the sense of botching that action too.
Yes, it is possible to be bad at pornography.
No, don't ask me how.
No, don't ask me how I know this either.
This Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Eva Marie porn.
Brazzers made her an offer.
Hope she'll be ball gagged.
$28.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right