WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #166 - Olympic Dreams

While Angry Jim rants about burning his posterior on a hot grill and being arrested for selling illegal merchandise at the 2012 London Olympics in his latest Mailbag, you can also re-listen here about time RD and Blade, on episode #166, in 2010, talked about WWECW Diva, Kelly Kelly, trying persuade us that she was a probable Olympic candidate before she "broke her ass".


#166 Olympic Dreams (by wcrminisodes)

Angry Jim's Mailbag #2: WCR Slobberknocker (July 26, 2012)

(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by WWE's Jim Ross & is not intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). "Angry Jim" is a fictional character based on a Wrestlecrap Radio parody.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer: The views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do not reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer Disclaimer: Despite being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself. Say what you want about him, but he IS still a WWE employee after all. At least, he is this week. - PB)



How ya doin' tonight nerds!

My first "Mailbag" was written just before the last Wrestlecrap Radio aired and haven’t commented on it, since unlike that f** Bischoff, I don’t give away spoilers! I’d just like to take this time to say to Deal and Blade...Go eat a d***! I’m glad your show ended! It was the worst podcast in the history of the Internet! And I don’t give a s*** that I'm banned from Blade’s new show! Go **** yourselves!

And another thing! You nerds better stop sending me tweets about me ****ing Gay Popeye! I'm a happily married man...well at least the "married" part is right!

Now, on to answering your ****ing questions!



Reed Stomuch asks: Jim. If you were in your car while the last Wrestlecrap Radio was being taped, then how did you actually see & commentate the ending?

You ****ing nerds really nitpick on details don’t ya!

After I hung up my new cell phone, I stole a leather jacket from a drunken hobo outside, took off my pants and told security at the door that I was Blade Braxton (I also colored my beard as you saw on TV)! Fortunately those dumb****s believed me and let me in! I got there just as it was ending and "BY GAWD" my announcing instincts kicked in as Blade super-kicked Deal! The Ratings Reaper saved me the trouble of giving those two b***hes one final slobberknocker!



Christian Ledger asks: I read on the Internet that you started yelling obscenities at school kids after experiencing technical difficulties during a talk at a High School? Is this true?

That article about me was a load of b*** s***! I never used words like the ones it described! I never said to those kids to “Believe in yourself”! I said “Go **** yourselves!” I then tried to tell the youngings about the realities of life…that it sucks, you work hard, your wife won’t **** you anymore, and then you die! Then the b******s tried to cut my microphone! I so told those incompetent a**holes to go **** themselves and left!

(R.V.M Kai’s edit: Jim! That wasn’t appropriate!)



Nicholas Slater asks: Jim, you wrote in your last mailbag that you gave Steve Austin the “Rattlesnake” name? In what other ways have you helped his career?

Well remember when Steve had that s****y Ringmaster gimmick?! It was my idea for him to become a character called "Angry Steve"; an angry redneck that kicks ass and uses profanity! He toned it down and became "Stone Cold"!

Also on the night of “King of The Ring 96”, Steve needed to come up with a catchphrase and asked me for one! I told him how about: “Austin 3:16 says to go **** yourself!” But he thought that idea wouldn’t sit well with Vince, so he changed some of the words! I still like mine better, but the sum b***h made a **** load of money with his, so what the **** do I know?!



Greg Diener asks: When do you think the last time with your wife was? Have you at least tried to have sex with your wife lately?

I think it was around Labor Day...2008...or was it 2007? I don't ****ing remember! And yes! I even tried some kinky stuff like; pushing our two beds together, dyeing my beard, and wearing nothing but my hat and some BBQ sauce (it works better than KY Jelly!)! But no luck!

But there was that one time when she wanted me to wear a paper bag on my head and talk in a raspy voice! I told her to go **** herself...and she did that instead...again!!



"Satan" asks: Jim! The dark lord wants to possess your soul for an evil favor…….Would you be able to fix my ceiling? There’s been a leak in it for weeks & the man still hasn’t come around to fix it. Thanks Jim, and worship the devil!

Fix it your ****ing self you p***y! The only thing you need to "possess" is a pair of balls! A man who can’t handle his own tools is not a real man! Oh, and worship my ass!



CenasWordLife asks: You, Gay Jim?

No!!! Enough with the gay jokes Cena! That's not very PG! And neither is this….Go **** yourself!



To view previous Mailbags go here. To send Angry Jim a REAL question or complaint (but not spam concerning penis enlargements...which Jim doesn't need apparently) you can Tweet him here.


RD: Dixie Carter=Super Genius!

Oh this won’t do, this won’t do at all!

Raging_Demons here yet again kids and this time I have to write something that I got to tell you all about. I have the biggest case of Writer’s Block ever, and I haven’t the foggiest of what to write on. At first I had an idea that somehow would revolve around Kelly Kelly and Stephen Colbert, yes THAT Stephen Colbert, on how Kelly Kelly outranked Colbert on the MAXIM Hot 100 list (Kelly Kelly is #39 while Colbert is…#69).



Then I thought I would write about Kelly Kelly and Brooke Hogan since recently both blondes together have and will screw up pro wrestling in ways that not even me or an ass hungry Michelle “Skeletor” McCool could ever think about. Or maybe how Brooke Hogan is really going to screw up TNA since she has no pro wrestling job experience at all!

Then it hit me.


Damn it Dixie Carter! What have you done?!?!

For years the geekiest and the nerdiest and the poindexteriest of the Internet Wrestling Fans had always complained on the Internet via YouTube, Group Boards, online chat, or whatever these nerds chat on they always had posted that “they can run a better show than they (in this case TNA) can.” The perfect defense for these posers has been mostly because these dweebs have no business experience at all which makes all of these “well I can do better” posts utterly useless. [But still highly laughable - PB]

Now thanks to TNA and more specifically Dixie Carter (because her name was mentioned in various news reports) when she hired Brooke Hogan, a person with no pro wrestling job experience at all save her name being “Hogan”, she basically opened a gigantic Pandora’s Box of grief and misery from us, the normal fans, because now the Internet Wrestling Nerds can claim they can actually run TNA since she hired a certain failure of a singer and Paris Hilton clone that is named Brooke Hogan!

Now that Brooke Hogan’s a member of the TNA roster not only has every nerd on the planet protested their hate for this BRILLIANT business decision and have started to gear up the whole “oh this is how I’ll change TNA” crap but this time we got actual people in the business complaining about it now!

I’m not kidding.

This is going to get worse!

Much Worse!

So after thinking about this for awhile now I’ve figured out that besides bitch slapping Dixie Cater into some sense (because if I did that I would go to jail and that would be a really, really bad thing) you either try to stop the nerds posting their inane thoughts or…You go on the offensive! That’s right, the “Brain Trust” that is me who is HIGHLY EDUCATED…Well somewhat educated…Okay barely educated, will try to out-think the nerds, Dixie Carter, & anybody else by coming up with some winning; yes winning ideas that can turn TNA around. Because hell, if TNA can hire a person with no job experience like Brooke Hogan (who didn’t get the job because her daddy is Hulk Hogan, Hell No!) then surely they can take business advice from one Raging Bartholomew Demons!

1. Missed Opportunity

We all know that Matt Morgan is about to leave TNA sooner or later because he’s fulfilled his contractual obligations and the “rumor” is that he could be heading to WWE. Adding to this Morgan has, or in this case HAD been the face for TNA’s biggest sponsor to date “Direct Auto Insurance”. So here’s what I’m thinking:

Matt Morgan vs.

Flo from Progressive Insurance and

The Geico Lizard

In a 3-way Match! Think about it. We could have Matt Morgan ultimately squashing the competition’s mascots to show the superiority of Direct Auto. It could give them the advantage and the name recognition they need! Screw the comparisons of the Nacho Man/Huckster crap years ago on WWE! This is true business promotion here in the making folks!

2. Hey If It Worked For…

Okay if I bring up the names Kim Kardashain and Paris Hilton what would you think of immediately? Whore? Talentless? Needs to Die? Yes, Yes, & if I answer that I could get into trouble so I won’t mention it. So what if I add Brooke Hogan to that mix? Brooke Hogan did tell TMZ one time that since her music career flopped she was thinking about becoming “the next Paris Hilton” so I was wondering what if we took that just one step further.

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton got famous by doing porn so…How about a Brooke Hogan sex tape?!? Brooke has no talent like Kim and Paris; Brooke had everything given to her like Kim and Paris, so let’s push it even further by getting her to do some porn! Hey the fans were pretty creeped out when daddy Hulkster groped Brooke inappropriately while applying sunscreen to her and papa Hulk has his own sex tape, so let’s keep it in the family with a little incest porn! Hey, it’s popular in certain areas which eventually send people to jail so why not add a celebrity sex tape to that!

3. Create Something Freaky And I Mean Really Freaky!

Pro Wrestling and real life sometimes can be eerily similar in certain instances. Sometimes for an act to be noticed you just have to dress up really bizarrely. Worked for the rock band “KISS”, Elton John, & David Bowie while Lady Gaga takes her 5 steps further to cover up the fact that she can’t sing by doing something really attention getting by riding in a giant egg or wearing a meat dress. And likewise WWE and Dustin Rhodes had success for years as “Goldust”.

So...Here’s what I’m thinking:

We make either Mickie James and/or Christy Hemme the “freak show singer”! Think of it: Both of them want to be famous singers; Christy in rock and Mickie in country. Why not add the freaky-deaky part of it?

Unfortunately with the current generation being desensitized as they are today and going through Lady Gaga’s crap PLUS having fans that lived through the “OH SO FINE” booking of Vince Russo, they are not going to take with mostly anything that TNA Creative will put out there so we need to create something that will make eve the normal non-wrestling fans go “HOLY S*&T!” We could steal from “South Park” and make one of them addicted to abortions? No, wait we’ll let Mickie James be addicted to abortions! Well “rumors” have it that Mickie James is “one beer can short of a six-pack” and she has Tweeted about it even though it was in a jokingly sort of way and Country Music needs to be shaken up a little bit when Lady Antebellum and Taylor FREAKING Swift are there. Okay we have Mickie “I’m addicted to abortions” James set but what about Christy Hemme? Hrm…

Lisa, play me my thinking music!


That’s it! We make Christy Hemme the “Lady Gaga” of professional wrestling but we turn her up to the umpteenth degree! If Gaga wore a meat dress then Christy wears the cow! If Gaga wants to ride in an egg then Christy will ride on an ostrich wearing an egg salad dress! If Gaga wants to wear stupid outfits by going to the 7-11 we can have Christy go naked everywhere she goes! It’s perfect! Fans will not only buy Christy Hemme’s albums but people will flock over to TNA to see what nutty thing Christy will do next! That’s sheer marketing genius I tells yah!

4. It’s Trending!

Pro Wrestling has taken advantage of Social Networks for years and just recently WWE and TNA have started to embrace it even to a point that WWE has invested into Twitter financially as well. So I’m thinking that TNA needs to take things one step further by TNA going with whatever is trending and turn it in a positive. Angelina Love was trending awhile back for getting fired by TNA so they should do THE OPPOSITE by re-hiring her back THEN re-firing her ass again! Forrest Griffin was trending so TNA should get him to be on their show and have them compete against Kurt Angle or have him do something stupid like Griffin spanking Kurt Angle or something. There was a hash tag trend called “#20PeopleImHappyIMet” so Bully Ray should do a promo all about the 20 people that he was happy to meet and make it a 1 hour promo!

We live in a modern world where everything and anything is trending based on whatever newsworthy or something completely stupid happens because someone wants to be noticed, so TNA should take advantage of these trends DAMN IT!

5. If All Else Fails…Lie Like A Mother!

Sometimes you realize what you have to do to create a LITTLE situation to give you attention. That’s what Alan Alda did in “Canadian Bacon” when he faked information thinking Canada wanted to declare a war on the U.S. You think this whole DIRECTV deal with Viacom (of which Spike TV, the network that airs “Impact Wrestling”) was all a ploy for Viacom to get more money? OH no-no-no-no you foolish people. This is all Spike TV’s brilliant idea to get people to watch Impact!

So you are probably thinking how does this get people to watch Impact when people can’t watch it? Social Media BABY YEAH! First we have Dixie Carter and various TNA talents “rally” if you will via the Twitter/Facebook or whatever to “say” “Oh please tell DIRECTV you want to see Spike TV”. With TNA talents and Dixie's rallying fans, will go online to watch on SPIKE TV’s website or download episodes via iTunes. THEN you get fans watching Impact by the previously stated reasons, get a rally going, petitions written and submitted then WHAMO! Built in interest for TNA and thus a loyal audience that will do anything for you!

Well, assuming this is TNA the odds on that this plan happening is like, what, a billion-to-one. And besides, most people will go after saving Snooki, Stephen Colbert, or bad re-runs of “The Game” more than anything so the odds on that are highly likely. But the plan is perfect now that the DIRECTV and Viacom feud is done meaning fans are now interested into watching "Impact Wrestling" now thanks to this "plan".

I mean come on Dixie! These have to be the bestest best ideas to come around for the pro wrestling business in days, no wait, weeks, NO, months, forget it YEARS Dixie! YEARS! I mean I would had sent any of these ideas over to the rating/network hungry Ring of Honor or the creativity lacking WWE as of late (John Cena as the RAW “Money In The Bank” winner? Really?!?) but I chose you Dixie and; TNA for a reason. That reason is that you, Dixie Carter, are a SUPER GENIUS! You’ve hired someone with no work experience, you set up your own version of “Tough Enough”, hell, at times you made sure that your brand is rarely heard which I might say is a fine accomplishment.

Then again…What if Dixie Carter is actually doing a double reverse on the Internet fans? Who on earth would hire Brooke Hogan out of all people, a person with absolutely ZERO job experience in pro wrestling! Is Dixie like some idiot savant or something? Did Dixie somehow actually do something good based on the idiocy that she created? Maybe all of my ideas that I’ve supplied here will help her or maybe it’ll ruin TNA again?

I’m scared to even say this but…What if Dixie Carter knows what the hell she is doing? That’ll scare you now doesn’t it?

So where do we go from here?

For those of you who are just tuning in, WrestleCrap Radio has ended due to...well, fuck all, that's what. As someone who's been used to the nature of the show this isn't surprising to me. What is though is that it ended so soon. I was sure it would take some years or even a few months rather than just a lackadaisical few days and then an abrupt ending just because. Not that I'm complaining of course. But that is something for another day.

The question now is, what happens to this site? It IS named after that very radio program and was originally intended as its visual companion piece (as well as take the URL away from the Fruitcakes before they could capitalize on it, but that was most definitely unintended. It's still pretty hilarious though).

Even so, there should be little to worry (or perhaps there should be a lot, but there is never a middle ground here). The site will remain standing, and I have no plans of taking it down, as a testament to whatever on earth that "podcast" was meant to be. And let me tell you, it's so absurd Salvador Dali would wonder what is this shit he's been listening to, that's how absurd it is.

There will of course be improvements and refinements over time, though obviously not too numerous and not that large a scale to be noticeable. The nucleus of the site will remain as it is, layout design notwithstanding.

And I know for sure that my collaborators will also be continuing to write on this site. And why shouldn't they? They're often more entertaining than the Fruitcakes themselves most of the time, and they're definitely funnier than me too. And if this so called "Angry" Jim Ross manages to rope in other fellow 'guests' in to write stuff for the site as well, so much the better. So if you came just for the episode summations, I do ask that you please stay and at least read the other stuff as well. It should hopefully be very amusing.

Me? I plan to remain here too. Starting pretty soon I should be less lazy to write postmortems of the show, 'reviewing' it year by year and seeing where it all started to really go downhill.

And after? Well I still plan to write. It's been something I've been doing long before I came to this site, and I know damn well I'll continue it long after I've gone.

To that end, starting real soon I'm aiding in induction-ing for the main WC site; yes, I'm one of them now and I have many an idea on what I can write on for the Real Deal Real Deal Jack Diamond. Hopefully I won't suck at it. (Much.)

And I may very well use this website for my own thoughts on wrestling in general. If any. If I do get another separate website of my own, I'm certain to link it to this one and vice versa. (It pays to be synergistic after all.)

That's all you get for the time being, though that's because I'm yet too tired to think of anything else to add here. If you have any suggestions of your own on what you would like to see here, you of course know where to find us. Well, I think you do.

Dismissed.

Random Thoughts from the Office: July 20 2012

Hey!

Remember me?

Here at the end of it all (Maybe...Who knows?) I should probably explain where I went and why so I have to break kayfabe for a minute if you will allow me the indulgence.

You see I could rattle on about huge cases and the workload getting me down but the simple fact is about 6 months ago my life turned to absolute shit. Before I go on I'm not looking for sympathy or pity, things are better now. But I was kicked out of the place I was staying at and was basically living from shelter to shelter, sometimes on the street, sometimes not, and really the few nights I did have a roof over my head and internet access the last thing I wanted to do was come online and talk wrestling.

In times of great need though Wrestlecrap Radio was there for me, giving me the chance to forget for a while about how my life had gone so wrong and have a much needed laugh. This site was also there, growing and providing entertainment far beyond what I could provide at the time and that was enjoyable too.

Over the past month or so things have gotten better, I now have permanent housing, I can buy food, I can do a lot of things that you take for granted unless you're out on the street.

Which brings me to this column. Whether or not this site continues or not I will still watch wrestling and I still will have thoughts about it. So this column won't die...whether it's here or on the Wrestlecrap forums. I will chime in from time to time with my thoughts on the business we all love....and hopefully have some fun along the way.

And yes I'm aware this is neither funny or imformative, but hey! All lawyers have to have an ego.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

WCR Video: WrestleCrap Radio Finale - The Final Two Minutes!

WrestleCrap Radio Finale - The Final Two Minutes! (filmed on July 7, 2012)



(by RD Reynolds)

WCR Video: A Crappy Tribute To The Final WrestleCrap Radio

Wrestlecraper MVKronus' tribute video to the Wrestlecrap Radio finale at the "Days Of The Dead" Convention on July 7, 2012.


A Crappy Tribute To The Final WrestleCrap Radio (by MVKronus)

WCR Video: The First 4:37 of the WrestleCrap Radio Finale

This is the first 4:37 of the WrestleCrap Radio Finale in video form. Enjoy. (Filmed by MVKronus)


The First 4:37 of the WrestleCrap Radio Finale (by MVKronus)

WCR Video: WrestleCrap Radio Finale Live Video Playlist

Now let the story be told, for the first AND last time ever in video form, of how an episode of Wrestlecrap Radio is made! Join us won't you? Blade Braxton and RD Reynolds set out to make a little magic in front of a studio audience at Days of the Dead in Indianapolis (filmed on July 7, 2012) and frivolity ensues!



by AngryMarks

WCR Video: Days of the Dead & Blade Braxton (Midnight Rose) Playlist

A road trip to Indianapolis, the con that will take place there, and the wacky adventures of the lovable Blade Braxton a/k/a The Midnight Rose!



Playlist by AngryMarks

209 WCR.F.D.: July 7, 2012 ("Aired" on July 13)

102 minutes

For some reason with the Fruitcakes not being 'able' to do a show these past few days despite their vows to do so, the two have decided to 'cut their losses' and just decided to release the show out of its misery end the whole thing without any rhyme or reason.

(Or it could be that RD is tiring of the progrem and wants to move on. Personally, I don't blame him.)

To that end, the two have had a table at the recent Days of the Dead Con in Indianapolis (what an appropriate name, to get an obvious joke out of the way). To help put this show out of its misery they've found whoever they can scrounge up as their "12 Listeners" to be their Live Studio Audience Laugh Track of this Very Special Episode. This apparently involves them watching the Fruitcakes go through all the 'motions' of the show and change their voices every now and then.

Why does it make me feel like I'm watching their Roast again? I'm almost expecting Trash Losagain to walk in at any second...

One thing that can be considered almost a universal constant: Blade is once again made the fool here. I think it's all that alcohol he's been drinking, both here and throughout most of his radio progrem life. This isn't helped by the fact that seeing something about dead chicks doing anal reminds him of Don. (:06) I don't want to know what would bubble out on you if said dead chicks did such things to you though...

Blade seems quite 'determined' to have his own show by doing monthly 'specials'. Don't hold your breath kids.

Stubby is brought from underneath their table. I don't want to know what he was doing in there. (:09) He didn't even bring his canned laughter, so the audience provides one for him. RD finally gets one up on the figure and renders him speechless. Blade misses his (future) chance to talk to a tree in his backyard.

The Duo still need to promotional considerate even though it won't be any use to them pretty soon. (:12) This is an excuse to once again mock the Shining Wizards ad feed. A Listener leaves because "I've heard enough."

That done, RD tosses Doritos bags to the peanut gallery. (:22) He invites a guy on 'stage' to try some hot dog flavored chips, which taste like bad hot dogs. So, like most hot dogs then? Blade likes to eat Earl Campbell's sausage.

Sir Alec 'calls' over the phone because he's on 'honeymoon' back home in England. (:31) However, judging from the timings between Indianapolis and London (which has the thespian awake at around 1 in the morning) this is less him on a late night boat ride down the Thames and more like him being drunk and hallucinating said honeymoon back at his abode. My guess is Ellie got tired of his infatuation with douching and left him for someone else. My guess would be Mike Check.

Regardless, Blade does Alec as Blade doing a bad English accent and has him read a few lines of 'poetry' that he totally didn't randomly scribble down on a sheet of paper a few minutes before recording. Alec still has his cheering crowd of supporters with him, hopefully not capsizing his honeymoon boat or, more likely, taking up too much space at home and causing a ruckus with the neighbors. We shall see which outcome seems more likely in the near future.

(Again, don't hold your breath.)

Nintendo John has his own cheering audience with him too as he 'calls' in. (:37) He remembers playing old horror games. On the Nintendo. Sadly, Monster Party was so scarring it made him quit his playing. On the Nintendo. He plans to upgrade to 32-bit though and become Super Nintendo John. "Kryptonite can't see me!" he proclaims.

The Honky Tonk Mail Man also calls in, though he has an excuse seeing as he's not in Indy right now. (:42) Good move on his part too; he shouldn't risk his life being with them after more than 526 days during a year where the Fruitcakes did fuck all progrem wise. As a reward for his perseverance Blade plans to send him an empty box. Stamped, of course. He leaves without even bothering to report any news. Perhaps he was all out of Observers that day.

Iron Mark calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand. (:47)

B.M. Punk calls in not long after. He's awfully hard to understand because RD quickly hangs up on him. (:48)

"Satan" calls in not long after. (:48) Of course he's not there in person either, but he has an excuse! It seems he "has a leak in his ceiling" and he has to do things himself around the house. Perhaps he can get D.I.Y. tips from Angry Jim Ross? Sunny and Reby Sky have been arguing about Sid Vicious, for some reason. RD thinks he's hearing Satan's phone ring. I bet it's God laughing at and taunting him, having been the source of his leakage all the way down in Hades. If He DID create the multiverse as we know it we know that pulling a prank on His hated adversary is not really something strenuous here. Blade relaxes his throat by shilling his being Satan in a movie.

:55 Dustin Runnels is in some horror movie somewhere. That's more news than I can stomach. Blade responds by inviting a woman up on stage with him. (:56)

Someone in the audience is tasked with delivering a "Question Of The Week" to ask about Blade's new show. (:61)

Again...don't hold your breath.

People start wondering in and out of the place. (:61) Blade dons his Midnight Rose mask to flirt with some pretty ladies. Any results from that action have yet to be seen.

RD responds in turn by doing his Mike Check impression. (:73) This time, neither even bothers to wonder what he's doing and why he's not still in prison. He's just 'there'. Perhaps he's existing in Indy and in prison at the same time in some sort of Schrodinger's nightmare. (In my case, I'll still pretend he's in the Big House and hacked his way in again. It will make things much easier to figure out.) Did he ever tell you about the time he worked with the recently no longer with us Andy Griffith in Winston Salem's WMOO "The Moo/Big Cow 1240"? He was Pop Stevens and Andy was Stan Cherry, and together they hosted the Pop'N'Cherry Teen Dance Hour. Sadly no one knows if it was sponsored by Dr. Pepper.

:81 TNA has some new gimmick of a crack whore (named Claire for the three of you who care). This has to be explained to Blade for some reason. AJ looks to be about 12. One guy is so excited by this revelation he doesn't even finish texting.

RD has had enough and outright asks some of the audience of their favorite moments from the show. (:90)

Haven't we done this already?

:94 Blade does his Jim Ross impression. He's just now discovered the invention that is a cellphone.

Seventeen Easy to Digest Syllables (of Fun):
The end of the show.
After seven years, we're done.
Now let's take a bow.



As expected, the Ratings Reaper finally gets off his ass to 'cancel' the show. And I thought I was a procrastinating motherfucker. There's always a bigger fish, it seems.

Of course, RD gets the literal last laugh. I expected nothing less.



$11.00 : $25.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 



For the three of you that care, I'll be posting a later piece about the future of this here website. It's still going to stay up long after the radio progrem has ended of course, so don't worry. Much. 

Angry Jim's Mailbag #1: Angry Jim's Debut (July 12, 2012)

(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by WWE's Jim Ross & is not intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). Angry Jim is a fictional character based on a Wrestlecrap Radio parody.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer: The views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do not reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer Disclaimer: Despite being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself. Say what you want about him, but he IS still a WWE employee after all. At least, he is this week. - PB)



How ya doin' tonight nerds!

I have been harassed by the people at wrestlecrapradio.com to write for them ever since those dumbf***s, Deal & Blade, decided to end WrestleCrap Radio. They assured me that I could write a blog about BBQ sauce, but it looks like I've ended up having to answer questions from you nerds about rasslin! What's wrong with with asking questions about my "Curtain Jerker" Mustard! Go **** yourselves!



Bea O'Starr asks: How do you feel about Hornswoggle & Vince McMahon doing the Palsy face impression of you? It seems hypocritical for a company that is supposed to be promoting anti-bullying to make fun of you like this?

F*** that little **** for making fun of me! I hope everyone in WWE all get permanent Palsy faces, those sons-of-b****s! "Be A Star"; MY ASS! If you take the 1st letters of "Be" & "Star"; you’ll know my exact opinion of that **** campaign! Go **** yourselves!



Brian O'Connor asks: How about Angry Jim vs. Michael Cole , BBQ sauce on a pole match?

How many times am I gonna get these ****ing questions about me fighting Cole again now that I'm doing this thing? I don’t need another re-match with Cole! I’ve kicked his ass so many times in the past that he has the sole of my shoe tattooed on it! Which looks better than those other sh***y ass tattoos he already has!

BBQ sauce on a pole?! Who are you?! Russo?!?!



Austin Stevenson asks: Why was your 1996 heel character dropped?

WWE didn’t like the REAL Angry Jim! They thought it wasn't believable that a play-by-play commentator could be a heel! Makes me wonder why they are currently doing it with that untalented ****head Cole then!?!? I wanted to be renamed; Jim "The Rattlesnake" Ross (I later gave the name to Steve Austin), but Vince thought it sounded too close to Jake Robert's name. But the booking of it sucked **** anyway! You try putting over an impostor Razor & Diesel! It went over like a fart in church!



Pullma Finger asks: Why won’t your wife sleep with you? Is it something you did? Is she frigid? Or is she two-timing you with Johnny Age?

Who the **** knows?! I’ve always suspected that b****'s been two timing me with that raspy voice mother****** Johnny Age ever since I tripped over a wet skateboard that was left in my front porch!? It also seemed obvious when I came home late one night & caught my wife pleasuring herself to Johnny Age on Raw! I remember I told her if she ever sees him again she can GO **** HERSELF!....Bad idea!!



R.V.M Kai asks: Is there anything that makes you happy Jim? Surely you can't be angry all the time?

Watching the Oklahoma Sooners play; Boomer Sooner!!!! Watching old rasslin tapes of Mid-South & UWF; Bill Watts is a booking genius! I also like building things like barns; any man that can't handle his own tools is NOT a real man! There's also nothing more satisfying than beating my meat & producing BBQ sauce! And I enjoy having wet dreams about Dark Journey; the sexiest bald woman I've ever seen!

...And don't call me Shirley!



Gay Popeye asks: Well blow me…….down! Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk! Hey Angry Jim! I’ve often watched you on WWE & you look so BIG & BURLY! Have you ever thought of wanting Gay Popeye to give an inspection of your poop-deck! If you know what I mean? Wink Wink.

What!? No! Go **** yourself! Not me! I may of not have ****ed my wife for years but I'm not that desperate you son of a *****! Maybe call Hollywood John, he might be into that ****!

R.V.M Kai’s edit: Not that there’s anything wrong with that…but the thought of Gay Popeye inspecting Jim's, or Hollywood John’s, poop-deck disturbs me.



Jack Hoff asks: Angry Jim. How fat are you? 300 pounds?

Not as fat as your Mama is!! Go **** yourself!



To view previous Mailbags go here. To send Angry Jim a REAL question or complaint (but not spam concerning penis enlargements...which Jim doesn't need apparently) you can Tweet him here.


The End Of The Road.

RD here.  24 hours until the Series Finale of our favorite "Greatest Wresting Podcast of all time since the Interwebs" so...

*sniff*



Our boss PB will recap it later but...I...*sob* can't take it.

I need some "me" time now.