WCR Video: Blade Braxton’s “Freddy vs. Jason" (1988) with WrestleCrap Commentary

(By Blade Braxton): "You haven't experienced seeing the two heavyweight horror icons duking it out until you've witnessed our "vison" of it filmed in 1988. Jason wearing a tie-dyed Polo shirt? Check. Freddy wearing acid washed jeans? Check. Michael Myers wearing a Kiss shirt? Check. Kane Hodder may be known as the definitive Jason Voorhees, but once you've seen Don Mason under the hockey mask you may change your mind!! This video has been trimmed down timewise from the original version for your sanity, and features commentary by me and RD Reynolds."



Happy Holidays from "The Other RD"

Time to do my CM Punk impersonation here.


"I'm BBAACCKK!!!"

Missed me gang? "The Other RD" here Raging_Demons on wrestlecrapradio.com. Some of you might know me by now as my previous work on NoDQ.com, AngryMarks, & F.A.N. (my low point in my career so far). Yes I did piss off the YouTube IWC off but thanks to work & school I was hiding away for a bit. Thanks to a little thing called "illegal pictures" & "caught with some sheep" I was recruited here on this fine ole website here editing our "Wrestlecrap Radio Glossary" from time-to-time when I can but that doesn't matter now.

What matters is this...


There we go. Now then...

If I had one Christmas wish for this world today for this holiday season it would be peace & happiness throughout the world.

You know come to think of it what other things that can create peace & happiness? Strippers. I'm changing it to peace & happiness in the world; followed by all the strippers I can have sex with.

Then again...Having the WWE Divas not botch a lot would be a great thing, especially for Beth Phoenix recently on RAW. So it's Peace throughout the world, all the strippers I can have sexy time with, & Non-botchy Divas.

Wait-wait-wait-wait! How about this! If I had TWO wishes, oh yeah, it would be that I would win any Mega Numbers/Powerball/any type of lottery's 6-out of-6 numbers right & have the jackpot all to myself that way I can win the giant $250 million dollar jackpots they climb up to. Yeah! Also that wish for world peace, strippers, & non-botchy Divas.

Okay-Okay-Okay. Let's go all "Aladdin" MINUS that damn monkey & Robin Williams as the freakin' genie & have 3 wishes where my 3rd wish is the ability to make everybody that I hate go SQUISH! Michelle McCool, "Skeletor" to you & me, gone! Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, POOF! Yeah! Also all that crap for world peace, strippers, Divas, & winning every Lottery out there.

You know what? Things are getting pretty complicated around here so let's make it 4 Wishes! Have all the free sexy time with strippers & no-botch Divas go here. Yeah, sounds right. So I have winning every Lottery, make "Skeletor" go bye-bye, strippers sex & Divas, & of course world peace.

Wait a minute! Take out the stripper sex, I can get all that I want by winning the Lottery! Just go in a club, "make it rain" $100 dollar bills & next thing you know I'll be breaking the ole myth of "no sex in the VIP room". So it'll be winning the Lottery whenever I want, bye-bye Rocky, no es botchy WWE Divas, then all the world peace you can have.

Then again world peace is impossible & people might get suspicious if I show up winning every Lottery there is. Hrm... Okay let's do it like this: Getting rid of the botchy WWE Divas first because it's needed for pro wrestling business, then I can have "Skeletor" & Dwayne go bye-bye from reality because who needs them?!? Winning every Lottery next but I do it sparingly like Biff Tannen in "Back to the Future 2" when he has the Sports Almanac, then all that world peace crap.

Aw crap! I forgot taking out the Bronies! They are an obnoxious bunch if you DARE attack their TV show. Damn it! Okay we take out "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" thus we get rid of those damn Bronies, winning every Lottery next, getting rid of people that I hate next, saying good-bye to all those WWE Divas that super botch...

And my 5th and final wish would be world peace.

Aw screw this crap! This is getting all complicated; I'm going to go get drunk.

Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year from all of us at Wrestlecrapradio.com

Swear Jar Tally 2011


As skillfully done on Microsoft Excel.

The trendline shows a slight increase of the average of Brakestown's antics on air. Of course, that line may not be fully accurate, but making it to match more accurate measures is hard work, and the MathTrolla hasn't been invented yet (which would probably turn out to look like an old Casio calculator with half of its buttons not functioning properly).

  • Average tally per show: $3.33
  • "Smallest" "donation": April 1st ($0.00), but that was only because it was a full hour of Mike Check's audio fellatio with his co-host.
  • "Smallest" "Smallest" "donation": April 29th ($0.50), but again that was due to Blade not being 'on air' all that time.
  • Smallest Smallest "donation": May 20th ($0.75)
  • "Largest" "donation": December 16th ($6.00) Technically it was $2 but I 'rounded' it up a bit because I figured why not.
  • Largest Largest "donation": January 14th ($7.00)

    I want Blade to hit $100 next year so we can call him up and ask him what he thinks about Don's work rate.

    WCR Video: WCR (ep. #204) The Reuben Trashbagging Story

    Reuben was Blade's dim-witted ex co-worker (who insisted that his name was "like the sandwich") from his flooring/construction job. He brought a filled trash-bag inside a millionaire's house to clean up some sawdust while the home-owners were inspecting the property. It was a hot day, and not knowing that the bag had been previously used to "trash-bag" in, it ended up stinking out the whole house.


    WCR (ep. #204) The Reuben Trashbagging Story (by rvm619)

    Minisode #204 Ding Dong Angrily on High

    by iggy



    December 16, 2011

    30 Seconds with Blade
    Sir Alec Heineken
    Angry Jim at Dollar General

    #hot ashley mess #raisins

    Random Thoughts from the Office: December 16, 2011

    It should be a joyous time around the offices of Clarence "Showstealer" Mason: Attorney at Law. It should be time for reflection and celebration; not only did I get the Trolla corporation buyout done, (Cause seriously, that Chris Engler guy...just between you and me I think he may have had something to do with the destruction of the Nation of Domination's locker room. I've got my eye on you Engler, just saying) But I was also going to be the attorney for Lita in her court battle, a chance to get what Braxton never could. I should be on cloud nine, on top of the world ready to spread cheer and joy and fun in this Random Thoughts column.

    But I'm not.

    Why? Two Reasons.

    1) Mr. Yak. Paying the swear jar for Blade to RD, making Blah feel guilty and wanting to repay you. Where do think that comes from? Hmmm....Considering my fees were out of that money. (Feel Free to keep The Price is Right game though. Cause seriously, fuck that game).

    And

    2) The reason for my column today.

    Twitter.

    Now don't get me wrong. [I never do. - PB] I understand that Twitter is the hot social medium nowadays, cause God knows our cell phone generation can't process anything past 140 characters. But I get it, it's a place to just quickly say whatever's on your mind. Heck, I have one (Not that I hardly ever use it...and I'm not sure where that name came from...). [Me too. But it's the same story with me also.] So I really, really understand how it's a cool thing. I mean, it does feel good when you can get people like Taz to bitch at you over it (He's a Jets fan, what the hell does he know?), it's fun, it's easy to use, and people might care what you say.

    But when you mix it into wrestling, then you have problems.

    Look, I have no problem with the wrestlers having twitter accounts. It keeps them close to their fans, makes them human and a little bit more accessible. But when you bring that into storylines or you get awards for the "Trending Star of the Year" that's when you cross the line from "Accessible" to "Fucking Obnoxious", and that's not a slap down of Zack Ryder. I follow him, I see what he has to say, he's gotten himself over thanks to Twitter and his YouTube videos, but, and I know I'm going to sound a "Grumpy Old Schooler" here, but can we at least TRY to get him over on wrestling ability and get through ONE match without mentioning how he's the most followed superstar on Twitter? Once, please?

    But while the WWE's recent upswing in Twitter is annoying and asinine, it's ultimately harmless and wouldn't really piss me off enough to do a column.

    So leave it to TNA to take things from "Fucking Obnoxious" to "Completely Fucking Stupid".

    You see Dixie Carter, Bruce Pritchard and the writing staff....Okay probably just Vince Russo; they saw the WWE mentioning Twitter so much and saw the chatter and thought "By Golly we can outdo them! And make our company look THAT much more bush league in the meantime."

    And since it worked so well last time, it's time once again folks for us to play Fantasy Booker: The Home Game.

    Suppose you have a match. A cage match between Jeff Hardy, fresh off coming back from his drug related hiatus, and Jeff Jarrett. You've built it up pretty well, it has a fair amount of heat, but you think it needs something more to put it over the top. A stipulation that will put it over the top. That either Jeff Hardy, Jeff Jarrett or Karen Angle/Jarrett will be fired and Karen will be handcuffed at ringside.

    Do you

    A) Announce the stipulation on Impact on the last show before the Pay Per View, a show watched by roughly 1.5 million people per week and would get people talking. I mean it draws well enough that Spike TV would let you insert a quick 30 second thing right?

    OR

    B) Announce the stipulation on Dixie Carter's Twitter feed at about roughly midnight Saturday morning, a Twitter account that at the time I write this had 108,513 followers or roughly one fifteenth of the people who watch Impact. Then on the Pay Per View, offhandedly mentioned, not only NOT deliver on the stipulation that night but use your Pay Per View to plug the TV show 4 days later?

    If you answered B. Congratulations, you're an idiot and are thus qualified to write for TNA.

    I'm not saying Twitter can not be a good accompaniment to wrestling. If you want to put the wrestlers Twitter handles in the name cards, go ahead. But when the wrestlers mention it in their promos, or you mention it on the show mention how you're "Trending" you don't look cool, you look like a mark and when you start adding stipulations to pay per view matches over Twitter you don't look cutting edge, you look bush league, and when everything already thinks you're bush league the last thing you want to do is give them more ammo.

    @Clarence"Showstealer"Mason

    204 Jim-gle Bells (Palsy): December 16, 2011

    115 minutes

    Blade is drunk (thankfully) but even he knows the (Christmas?) Fruitcakes haven't done much since Black Friday, when he had a Freudian fascination with penises. He also remembers being punished by eating sub sandwiches. I don't blame him. RD was equally 'punished' by egg rolls for some reason. This I CAN blame him for because I love egg rolls.

    You know who else is being punished? Jim Ross (:09) He's outside a Dollar General in Tulsa ringing for 'donations' to his cause; himself. How he does that while still calling into the show I have no idea. Multi-tasking, perhaps. He does tell us that Hollywood John has currently tired of fucking his wife and is also helping out somewhere. You know what Jim should do? Sell his Slammy 'statue'. At least, if he hasn't shoved it up Michael Cole's ass and lost it anyway.

    'Stubby' helps promotional considerate. (:19)

    RD hardly bothers to update his itinerary. (:20) "Speaking of bah, humbug" (hey, that's MY catchphrase! Get your own.) [Actually it's mine but thank you so much for playing - Clarence] [[The Catchphrase of WCR.com I would imagine. I should get that as a tagline for the page.]] he calls Jim again. Emperor, give the man a break. It's been barely 10 minutes! Also Jim shouldn't talk too loud on his 'phone' (how can he afford/use one anyway?), people may hear him and give the game away. Blade can't keep it together.

    Blade's one true love Lita's been arrested for speeding. (:25) The duo spend a few minutes spelling her name right, as RD again thinks little of the Listeners. Iron Mark Tyson KOs the episode. (:33)

    Ric Flair's now channeling the spirit of Jerry Lawler, as Alec Heineken reads a 'plan' of his to accompany high schoolers to their prom. (:35) If he really wants money that bad he should stand with Jim Ross. Instead of going "ho-ho-ho" he could just say "wooo-wooo-wooo". [Impossible. After all the alimony checks he couldn't afford to pay for the trademark off Zack Ryder - Clarence] License to print money I say. RD does his Sir Ben Kingsley impression.

    Who wants to win dinner with Velvet Sky, a woman so highly regarded that not even TNA - TNA - wants her? Poor lady. (:41) Things seem somewhat dodgy when we find that the 'winner' has to 'write' about their dinner for a website. That's like the opposite of what I do here, where my punishment for failing to write a summarization in time is to have dinner with Velvet Sky. [Oh whine, whine, whine. Every time I miss a column you make me have dinner with Mae Young - Clarence] [[It builds good discipline and strength of character Trust me, I had plenty of dinners with the Fabulous Moolah to train my own skills.]] RD watches Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett do a terrible job 'promoting' this contest.

    Something 'weird' happened to Blade, which he labels a "miracle" (:48) He's suddenly found the Tranny attractive, and instead of calling her by her old, ah, handle, wants to call her "Hot Ashley Mess" instead. I give this about a week before he forgets and switches back to Tranny again. Francine has another child. Or should that be foal? (:51)

    Not getting anywhere with his charity work, Jim enters the nearby Dollar General to steal raisins. (:53) Mind you, he does this while still talking on the phone about what exactly he's doing. That's not how you play the game down there, is it? Unless people don't actually eat raisins anymore and the store owner is secretly thankful that Jim is consuming his one year expired products so that he doesn't have to.

    Paul (McGann?) has a Question about snacks. (:57) They actually answer it.

    The HTMM's off this week. (:61) Well, it's CHRISTMAS. I don't expect him to be working on a holiday, do you?

    You might want the heavy-duty kind.
    :63 Blade tells his Reuben Trashbagging story, which apparently involves this 'Reuben' character bringing a filled trashbag inside a millionaire's house. He uses Extreme Music music for this for some reason (Dinner For Two's A Whiff Of Perfume).

    Sad News: Classics On Demand is being future endeavored for WWE's new horrible-looking network. (:72) Blade wants ESPN to 'air' their radio progrem which necessitates the use of Martin Lawrence of some reason. RD doesn't say "Whatup?" though.

    The Slammys suck. (Don't they always?) RD gives Blade 30 seconds to flounder. (:80)

    :83 RD and Blade open up presents.

    • Reverend BSB Brandon Berthelot gives Berthelot pepper sauces.
    • Travie Yak sends $50 to RD to pay for Blade's Swear Jar tally. Noble sacrifice, my good man. (But if you're reading this, you really shouldn't have and now I feel guilty. If you ARE one of those few readers of this site, contact me privately. I'll want to reimburse you for what you paid if you like.) Now Blade just owes that The Price Is Right game for my amusement.
    • Adam Kraznov (spelling?) sends a Lions-Saints game to Blade.

      Then, MY present. You didn't expect that, did you? Such a Russo-esque swerve, in my opinion. (:94) I sent Blade the complete first season of Maude, and RD another bad Burt Reynolds movie, Delgo. Even better, I actually sent an audio recording of myself explaining RD's thing (:96) and, yes, my recent purchase of the Trolla Corporation, while trying to spend as much time on air as physically possible. (If you haven't noticed I'm somewhat of a vain motherfucker heel) If you REALLY get turned on by my voice (and if you do, why?), I've uploaded the thing here. And as I promised, my earlier audio submission that I sent a few months back too. I apologize if I speak a bit too fast for some, so I'd be glad to send/post a writing of what I aimed to say up here.

      IT'S NOT FOR BABIES!

      • The "NFL" sent Blade a fancy Lions wallet and a can cooler, and RD a signed Dan Orlovsky card. (:102)
      • Blade receives a very cute gift from RD Junior, a Lego Bossk keychain, and receives a rather sexual Dutch shirt from RD.
      • RD meanwhile has a Troma movie staring Julie Newmar with music by Quincy Jones which is so obscure I have yet to find it on IMDB ("Seduction of a Nerd") [It was fantastically titled "Up Your Teddy Bear" in 1970. --iggy], and a Mexican Santa Claus poster. Includes free Pitch action! (That sounded wrong.)


      :108 A bitter Jim Ross blames the duo for his 'situation', and accosts old man RD while doing so. Pretty soon the police are on his tail. I'm sure Sheriff Dickwell and a newly reanimated John Kelly are not far behind...

      Seventeen Syllables coming down your chimney:
      The year is over.
      Our Christmas gift to the Twelve:
      Lots more shows next year.

      For some reason I don't believe him.



      $2.00 (+$4.00 for my message playing. I told you I was vain.)
      ($50.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)



      Merry Christmas, one and all!
      - Your friend "that Wrestlecrapradio.com guy" Premier Blah

      203 Erectile Misjunction: December 2, 2011

      81 minutes

      Random musical discussion plagues us on this "Wrestlemania" of the progrem, so Mike Check calls to join in. (:05) RD Strongbows him. "There's no one listening to this show now," he says before he begs (to no one listening to this show now) for gifts (get them in before the 13th, kids!).

      RD on Blade's rowdiness: "Sometimes we have creative differences."

      Tom Cruise in Born on the Fourth of July really likes his penis. (:11) An interested Popeye calls. (:14) No no no Popeye; TRAVOLTA is the closeted Scientologist, not Cruise. He calls out Blade on his bisexuality.

      If all that excites you, their annual Black Friday Sale is still on. Call now, pain later.

      :21 RD's Black Friday was different from the norm, as more and more stores are having Black Thursdays, which is really missing the point of the whole thing. His nearby Toys'R'Us seems to be in Roddy Piper's Neighborhood. At Wal-Mart a girl in a shopping cart was pulling herself along and throwing things on herself. Blade was too tired to make fun of cripples. What has this world become?

      :39 Hell's frozen over as the Midnight Rose and Stubby and "The Black Friday Scorpion" went Black Fridaying and got called out by a well meaning lady with supernatural hearing. The "deal of the night" to Blade was flirting with a mother and daughter. RD calls him out on his "Wrestlemania moment".

      :43 Dusty Rhodes is naked in an upcoming Christmas movie...available January 17th. Popeye wants a starring role. So too does Jim Ross. (:47) He's stuck having 'fun' with Dark Journey porn and being out on Black Friday being arrested for selling meat in a Wal-Mart parking lot. He thinks working with Dusty would help him with...something. RD doesn't know what he wants. Fuck, neither do I. Has Jim been hitting the turkey beer lately?

      :52 Matt Hardy's random Giants lady girlfriend wants an 'honest, sober boyfriend'. This is Sad News to Blade, another lost opportunity to fuck someone. Even more Sad News: Blade's not 'drinking'. I still don't believe him. Even more more Sad News: RD's fantasy football team is failing (He's 9th of 12 as of this writing).

      :57 "Satan" has dieting tips for the season. He also has some sort of 'feud' with the Ratings Reaper because he won't loan him $15,000. "You don't know the value of the dollar in Hell," he protests. And I thought the feud was because the two sound so similar...He narrates New Jack's refusal of Sunny's alleged desire to kill her boyfriend.

      :64 Blade is too lazy to answer any Question of the Week.

      So too is the Honky Tonk Mail Man lazy to appear. I can't blame him.

      :66 Remember when RD was supposed to do those Crappies in 2008 but forgot about them entirely?

      The big news this week is the brouhaha over Sin Cara's phallic shirt. In what definitely seemed like a good idea at a time, 'Sin Cara's Penis' calls. (:72) I have no idea of half of what he's saying because he sounds an awful lot like a Stubbed Ratings Reaper.

      RD: "Our Wrestlemania show, you're to tell me!"

      Seventeen Syllables for us:
      Penis on T-shirt.
      Greatest Christmas gift ever.
      Too bad it got yanked.

      $5.00 (I'd use that to buy Blade condoms for his pleasure) ($44.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

      Random Thoughts from the Office: December 2, 2011

      The holiday season brings a load of new cases and fun, merry, and goodwill towards all men, which means only one thing; more paydays for me. So yeah....I kinda missed the last update. Sorry about that. [At least I pay well, I'm happy for that! A well paid man is an honorable one - PB]

      This week though I'm going to look at two talents that have had very different ways of trying to get over and get something going for them. One has kind of worked, one has been a hopeless failure in my personal opinion. One of them works for the WWE, one for TNA.

      Want to guess where the failure is?

      But let me first begin with the positive - and it may surprise you a little bit to hear this - but this whole Daniel(Son) Bryan thing has me intrigued. It's mostly because it does have all the trappings laying in place for one hell of a heel turn here, one that could make the IWC spontaneously combust when they see it.

      The seeds were sown on this weeks Raw with his interview with Michael Cole. Cole basically called him a hypocrite for trying to cash in his Money in the Bank against Mark Henry when he told everyone he was waiting till Wrestlemania to do so. The accusation was essentially correct and Bryan essentially agreed with that, but then turned into Babyface Fire against Henry by giving the reason that Henry tried to put him on the shelf, and when he saw the opportunity he took it.

      Now one of the main complaints of the WWE is the man calling the action, Michael Cole who at best could be called "schizophrenic" in his calls; one moment acting like the shocked babyface/neutral announcer, the next becoming another heel commentator (and not a very good one at that). However Cole has one thing a lot of the people on the WWE roster don't have. Heat.....Lots of it and the ability to generate heat onto himself and the people helping him. Just look at the temporary pick up Jack Swagger got. Okay, being the WWE nowadays they fucked it up but for a brief moment Swagger was over and that was the result of Cole.

      Now let's parley this into one Daniel Bryan, who if anyone has watched his indy work would know he works better as a heel than a babyface anyway. One of the key things that a heel needs to be effective is to feel justified in his actions, to feel like he's right. Cole's interview could theoretically be used as the catalyst for a heel turn....possibly involving stealing the belt from Randy Orton once he gets it back. The reason is simple: When Cole berated him he looked inward and realized the only person being honest with him...was Michael Cole. Oh sure all the nerd jibes and such were only because Cole didn't like the direction he was taking when he could be so much more; he's spent a year and a half doing what the company told him or what the fans told him and what did it get him? Almost having his career ended, losing his job with the company, treated like a joke most of the time when he was the best in the world. No, Cole was honest and he sees that now and from now on he's going to do things for himself, he asks Cole to be his backup because he's the only one he can trust, and with that you kill two birds with one stone; you get another hot heel when you desperately need one and you get a chance to start fresh in the announce booth. Win-Win for all!

      Now to the other guy...you know for all the talk of changing after Vince Russo left the head writing job, TNA can still screw things up on a monumental level. Only in TNA the screwups become your world champion.

      Yep, I'm talking about Robert Roode, who had the perfect buildup, the perfect run, the perfect backstory going into this year's Bound for Glory pay per view. He was built like the next big thing, given an emotional video package and given a main event slot against Kurt Angle for the World Heavyweight Title in what everyone thought would be the perfect time to pass the torch and restart the company.

      Now fellow readers let's play Fantasy Booker: The Home Game.

      You have this great buildup for Robert Roode, preparing the torch to be passed to him to kick-start a new dawn, a new era for TNA after Vince Russo finally steps down as Head Writer. Do you as the new Head Writer

      A) Put on a 30 minute wrestling clinic, filled with emotion, near falls and Roode fighting to survive at every turn, taking Angle's best moves and somehow kicking out time and time again till at last he hits the one big move, one big move that ends it and nets him the World Title he's been chasing all these years?

      Or

      B) Have the same 30 minute match, deflate the crowd when Roode jobs, show up on Impact the next night and say he was tricked into signing a contract that had no rematch clause, have his tag team partner substitute for him and get the big emotional win.....and the next week turn Roode heel against his own partner and not even put the blowoff match between the two partners on pay per view because God knows we can't go through a relaunch without AJ Fucking Styles in the main event of our first pay per view?

      If you answered B: Congratulations, you're an idiot and are thus qualified to write for TNA.

      You know I've said this before but sometimes being predictable is GOOD. If you sell the backstory enough we as wrestling fans will accept things even when they're obvious. You don't need SHOCKING SWERVES~! to keep our interest and most importantly when you're launching a new era for your company, sometimes having a strong babyface champion does work for you.

      Just ask the WWE. They did the same thing with John Cena.

      Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

      Minisode #203 How Was Your Black Friday?

      by iggy



      December 2, 2011

      Sin Cara's Member
      Angry Jim's Black Friday
      RD's Black Friday
      Blade's Black Friday

      #lawnmowin' #barbecue

      202 It's not easy being Mean: November 11, 2011

      71 minutes

      Wow, they're even lifelike!
      A rather excited RD reads through his latest copy of Fighting Spirit Magazine (which he gets Lord Alfred to shill for). It's not just because he once again has his regular column for it, but rather due to a cover story involving Blade's dear Centaur lady. It's not complete without a bad pun that even the crickets would ignore for being too terrible, photographs with Raven and Ricky Steamboat of all people, and subtle goading from the editor to talk about her...rather 'risque' past. Blade has her fun with her as usual, though Mike Check randomly calls in to spoil the fun. (:09) RD Strongbows him, and without even waiting for a song first! That's just not right.

      Is that split served with banana topping?
      :14 Blade is an obscure motherfucker as ever. RD uses Old Spice body wash that has the "power of a mountain". This makes me wonder why on earth WWE has not got the new Old Spice guy to be a Raw guest host. He'd be far more charismatic than half the current roster.

      :21 Sad News: Beavis and Butthead are using their music. Even more Sad News: the originally thought deceased-sick Haiti Kid has reanimated himself and come back to life, according to ever accurate sources. Who to believe? How about neither, so let's just see this random video of him sitting on Gorilla Monsoon's lap. And on the subject of characters, RD feels he has to 'explain' Chief Jay Strongbow to newer listeners, (And if any are reading this (and if so, why?) have you tried our glossary yet? It's really shiny.) so he uses a video to aid him. Sure enough, he calls in too. (:28) [R.V.M Kai also made a commentary video of this interactive segment.]

      SPEAKING OF strange interviews, Joanie Laurer's 'tickled' to win an award. RD wants to keep moving. Blade invents a new character on the spot to read a 'letter' of hers to Vince. She also has a new YouShoot video featuring questions from Trash Losagain and Mr. Fitness (2).

      More Sad News (:34) Tammy Sytch had a bad fall from an escalator. Even worse, her auctioned gown from the week before may be up for auction again. Perhaps the winner was a woman. Hey, don't look at me. I didn't write this! (Well, technically I did.) Even more Sad News: Blade can't find her Facebook page. Seriously though, I can sympathize for her; escalators are not fun. They always scare the hell out of me whenever I use them.

      Former ECW announcer Courtney Taylor is a new mother. (:38) Blade addresses the anti-feminists in the audience.

      The Honky Tonk Mailman also likes to fuck. This explains why he's not here this week. (:47)

      SPEAKING OF people Blade used to fuck, his ex-girlfriend didn't like Gail Kim for some reason. (:47)

      Even in a minority the Listeners are a minority.
      James Braxton (no relation) thinks his professor is one of the Listeners. (:50) Blade thinks all Listeners are some sort of albinos. That makes some sort of sense; there are so few of both albino and Listener in the wild after all.

      :54 Mrs. Deal is no fan of mustaches. Poor woman. The Muppets on Raw made Blade vomit with rage. Blade does his Kermit impression which RD feels is better than the one done on that show. He then does an Irish Iron Mark.

      Back in Maxim again (what is that, her career?), Kelly Kelly explains what a 'stinkface' is, taught to her by the wrestler 'Rafiki'. (:61) Blade has to apologize for giving joke names to people. Allegedly. It's probably just the drink again.

      RD can take no more.

      Blade sings for a third straight week. I think he's making up for his 'lost' singing career from three years back. I'm still waiting for my order of his Hobo Six collaboration.

      $2.00 ($39.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

      Minisode #202 Haiti Kid: Dead or Alive

      by iggy



      November 11, 2011

      Blade's ex-girlfriend thrusts.
      Double Kelly references Rafiki.
      Mike Check calls.
      The Haiti Kid is alive.
      Chyna wrote a letter.
      Blade creeps for Maryse.
      HOW: The Chief Jay Strongbow Story

      #occupy this #recession that

      My "Occupy WrestleCrap" sign:
      MORE
      MIKE
      CHECK

      WCR Video: Blade Braxton - Idiots In Cars


      Blade Braxton - Idiots In Cars (by LannysPermJuice)

      Random Thoughts from the Office: October 28, 2011

      I can't say I blame Roddy Piper for wanting to feed poison to Vince. God knows after the shit we've had shoved down our throats for the past few years I'd want to poison him too....on the 0.01% that it might give him super intellect and make him see that what he's booking is fucking stupid. [He'd make a worthy super-villain in my opinion.] But that's just me.

      Halloween is the time for evil it seems, a time when all the bad is brought home to roost. Satan, Witches, Big Show-Mark Henry matches. It all makes sense; I didn't care when the ring collapsed when Brock Lesnar did it, I certainly don't know.

      That's not to say I don't care about Mark Henry however.

      You see this is going to be one of those rare columns where I take time to give a little praise for something the WWE has done right, in this case the booking of Mark Henry as a monster heel champion.

      Mizark has been with the company 15 years now, 15 loooooong years with a million shitty gimmicks. Sexual Chocolate, banging Mae Young, falling in love with a tranny, sort of being the living embodiment of Fantasy Booking Island. You can understand why one day he'd just snap and start randomly destroying people, except of course as I've pointed out before, a lot of times that can't happen in the WWE. But this time they started it out right by targeting him after the biggest guy on the roster, Big Show, and he squashed him and then "Pillmanized" his ankle, leaving Henry to set his sights on the champion Randy Orton.

      I admit this is where I thought the push would die. After all God forbid we make Randy Orton look weak, especially by a guy like Mark Henry who's not over. Remember the catch 22 argument I made? You can't get over unless you beat a top star but you can't beat a top star cause you're not over? That was where you'd lay good odds of things dying, but wrestling does have a way of surprising us, and so when Mark won the title after the initial shock there was a sort of mixed reception.

      You know I don't get that. I mean sure you can use the "It's Mark Henry" argument but at least it's someone different. How excited were we all when Christian won the title for the first time? A different face is not a bad thing, especially when you consider the alternative is so stale. And the monster heel champion can work. The monster heel is a staple of booking 101, has been since the days of Hulk Hogan; then when the babyface beats him it gets the fans so excited that they can't help but get over.....unless your name is John Cena.

      The best thing the WWE could do is keep the belt on Henry through to WrestleMania, build him up as this unstoppable monster who destroys everyone in sight, hurts people in and out of the ring. Then you have the opportunity to create a new star, because who is "cashing in" his Money in the Bank at 'Mania? Daniel(son) Bryan. Instant new star, instant interest in your product, instant better things for the WWE in general.

      Of course that would mean they'd have to put aside the LULZ they'd get from pissing the IWC off again when Bryan becomes the first MitB winner to lose....so of course that will never happen.

      Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

      201 Piper's Pit-SA: October 28, 2011

      73 minutes

      "Don't work for Vince Russo"?
      It is the Witching Season once again, which gives the Fruitcakes ample opportunity to fluster and filibuster and fart around as per their idiom. Of course they do it all the time, but it's even more so in this case. Blade has 'morals' that he hangs on his wall. He repeats about the time he wore a Darth Maul outfit and Don Mason wore a star on his face. (:10) RD wants to be the king of the geeks nerds & poindexters. (:15) He'd be scarier than any tyrant.

      :17 Piper's PSAs raise a question: Is it Thank YOU or Thank YA? Blade once received Mork & Mindy trading cards and even an Action Figure. Those are worse than razor apples. At King's Island RD escaped 'paying' for raisin boxes. RD's PSA: obtain some actual good candy to give out.

      :27 Blade paid the Big Nippled Vampire and now has to 'schedule' her to be on their progrem. Nowadays she seems to be stuck on TMZ answering randomly awful questions. Huey is possessed by Satan. RD calls him "Son of Huey".

      At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi.
      At last we shall have our Mars bars.
      :32 Lita's in a Haunted House called the Atlanta Chamber Of Horrors. Sadly it's not Jim Ross' UWF Haunted House and we don't see Abdullah The Butcher on an electric chair, so I don't really care about it much.

      :38 Sunny is auctioning off her Hall Of Fame dress as the latest high priced spunk rag. Blade repeats the story of Don's blow up doll. Is it a sign of dementia if you repeat the same things over and over again without knowing it? "I am ashamed of myself" Blade admits.

      :41 "Satan" calls, seeing as how it's his season. Leave Santa Claus to the commercialism of Christmas, this is his time damnit! Former old guard Madusa disagrees with Kevin Nash on WWE. I can't argue with that; no offense to the man but he did help kill off WCW after all.

      Not, not sure I get the reference, there, Carl.
      :46 RD once again has to go back to Facebook to answer a 'Question' from Carl Zayas. The Fruitcakes do, however, somewhat 'answer' his query. I think that's the only way to get an answer from the two; send them something that is less about wrestling and more just a random non sequitur.

      :52 The Honky Tonk Mailman has the 'holiday' off. So why is he spending his time on the radio progrem? That's more arduous than any work I've seen. In his neighborhood people hand out Observers instead of candy. Even Blade is speechless. In 'today's' news Hulk Hogan is returning to TNA...three weeks ago. The Halloween Havoc '98 commemorative stamp has a free refund. (For those who don't know, WCW was so inept that they were forced to air the PPV for free the day after, thus enraging those few who had paid for it. But don't take my word for it.) RD is worried about the Colonel's regression into a baby. But does he speak in Bruce Willis' voice?

      The audience also took a nap during Vengeance.
      :60 Blade forgot his bicentennial popcorn bucket. 'This is why you fail," he tells himself rather circularly. The ring at the recent Vengeance PPV can support a 40-man fight but apparently not just two guys standing on top of it. Blade does his Iron Mark Tyson. (:65)

      :66 RD plays Blade's recording with Piper. He's not actually on the show, and I can't blame him. He probably thought the duo would take another month to record an episode and decided to be recorded instead. He's rather contradictory in his advice this time, advising trick-or-treaters to "burn [the] lawn" of those they don't like.

      Blade sings again.

      $1.00 ($37.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

      Minisode #201 Halloween Raisins

      by iggy



      October 28, 2011

      Don Mason dressed as Paul Stanley.
      A cleaner show
      Mork & Mindy suspenders
      King's Island trick-or-treating
      Huey the Ghoul is hyper.
      Satan
      The Honky Tonk Mailman and friends are out trick-or-treating as The Flintstones.
      "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's new Halloween PSA

      #bubblegum cards #imagine that

      Take care.

      Minisode #200 Hobo Parade

      by iggy



      October 21, 2011

      Johnny Six intro
      Angry Jim versus Johnny Ace
      John Thomas
      Honky Tonk Mailman
      Gay Popeye
      David Lee Roth
      Corporal Kirchner as a car
      Stubby
      BM Punk
      Satan
      Mike Check

      #have you ever noticed #manly voice

      I fell asleep three times.

      Random Thoughts from the Office: October 21, 2011

      It's been nearly 3 months since we've (and by extension the Fruitcakes) had to do anything, so you can't expect solid gold the first time out. Case in point, this column which is probably going to suck.

      There's plenty of things to discuss. I could talk about how the WWE totally screwed up and basically buried one of the hottest things they had in years in CM Punk just so we could have the second coming of Johnny Ace (I still say he should be forced to carry the skateboard with him. That thing would still get heat). But then I kind of expected that from the start. I could humbly eat crow, because it looks like they might actually be getting behind a concerted push of Zack Ryder, when I thought that might be impossible, but then I always have a get-out clause when it comes to WWE nowadays in terms of that. That clause of course being "Well, wait a month". If he wins the US title this Sunday THEN we'll talk, until then it's just window dressing. I could go over a lot of my favorite Wrestlecrap Radio memories, but then most of mine at a lot like your own anyway.....well except maybe this one where I set off what I will argue was the greatest tangent ever, but then I'm incredibly selfish. Oh yeah there's that too.

      But ultimately I'm going to go to one of the staples of my column, because with the news that happened while we were all away there really is only one thing I feel I could discuss.

      Yep, Vince Russo.

      So there's much rejoicing throughout the land as Russo stepped down as head writer of TN.....Impact Wrestling and was replaced by Brother Love. Things would finally turn around for them; they may not be able to compete but at least the shows would be watchable again, there would finally be a chance and certainly the first salvo is promising as they're giving James Storm a run with the TNA Championship and there's not the same people on top that there normally are. Maybe they've learnt.

      You think by now we'd know better.

      Yes once again I'm going to go into my spiel that Vince Russo isn't a bad writer; he has bad IDEAS yes but he's not a bad writer and actually I do believe that the move is the right one for TNA. As much as I respect his abilities as a writer Vince Russo just CAN'T be your head writer; he works best when he has a "filter", someone who can say "no" to him.....but I'm not so sure Pritchard is that guy.

      Let's not beat around the bush, Pritchard is a puppet. The real power of creative lies in the two men that have pretty much tanked TNA in the first place, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Look at what's happening (And just a warning, I'm trying not to but I may sneak into spoiler territory here), if we argue that the whole Storm thing is the number one story, what's number two? Eric Bischoff and his son.....WHO THE FUCK CARES?

      Maybe I'm just being jaded but I lost faith in anything TNA served up from pretty much the moment Hogan signed with them, and like WWE lately my argument is always "Wait five minutes". That's more an indictment of WWE though. Hogan and Bischoff seem permanently stuck in 1996 where they think they are what's right with wrestling and if you disagree you're either a smart mark or you don't "Get it". Ironically Vince McMahon thought the same thing for the longest time and it took an error of judgement, a happy mistake and a daring writer willing to capitalize on the situation to turn the ship around. The error in judgement came from a man who would ultimately become his son in law, the happy mistake turned the man who took the ball and ran with it into the greatest name in wrestling history and the writer who was willing to capitalize on it.....just stepped down as TNA's Head Writer.

      Such is life.....such is wrestling.

      Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

      200 The Call-Out: October 21, 2011

      137 minutes (!)

      Image by Simon Beach and Nikolai Nelson
      If their arrows blot out the sun,
      it would help global warming.
      Despite missing two months to who knows what, things are back to 'normal', at least before the duo takes the year off due to someone breaking their back or something. And what better way to do that than to reminisce, both with the Fruitcakes and other Listeners favorite moments on a forum thread. Even RD has forgotten a few moments during the show's history, which shows he's not a regular visitor of this here site, or he'd be better informed! And he would also know that our Beloved Founder (The Founder to my Premier as it were) [To my hired help? - Clarence][The Founder to my Premier to my Showstealer, as it were.] has helped summarize all their episodes. Go have a look if you will. Trust me, it's better than the real thing anyway, because nothing of note happens for the next 24 minutes, except for another Don anal story (is there any other kind?).

      Blade spoils things by saying that Rowdy Roddy Piper (the ACTUAL legend and not just his legendary PSAs) will be appearing next episode. (:18)

      Blade has found his favorite 'Nitro party' entry. (:22) He reads an '11th hour' letter sent in August.

      And now you could just end the show here. (Mrs. Deal! Get Iggy on the phone!) This is because the rest of the show is just people calling in and mucking about. If that sounds familiar...well it is, and we don't even get Global Internet's Greg or the Zombie to spice things up. I'm not necessarily going to take them to task for disobeying the Cornette Rule and repeat the same angle (or episode theme in this case) only after seven years, and I know they were probably rushed for time to do something or waste another fruitless week...But looking at this from a creative view point as I normally do, they should at least have made one thing different. Perhaps have Nate come back from the 'dead' and have him break Mike Check out of jail so he can call in randomly and threaten them with the possible play of a Men Without Hats single or something. I'm expecting next year to be another clip show that would rival the infamous TNG episode Shades Of Grey in terms of boringness or something.

      So this year we're essentially getting a WCR Roster roll call as various characters call in to fart around and have fun for some random reason.

      And I wonder if I'm losing my mind sometimes.

      :25 That out of the way, let's get to the self-congratulatory circle jerking already. Jim Ross calls to insult the Fruitcakes. Hey, that's my job! I didn't realize he was a newly recruited Co-Historian...He revisits his only video to read comments.

      :34 One loan (hah!) bright spot arises with John Thomas, sight for sore ears. Blade 'thinks' about him. John's been hunting Brakestown down over lifetimes like a Highlander.

      :42 The Honky Tonk Mailman gives a call, now the longest running Intercontinental champion TNA correspondent for doing fuck all while the show was hibernating, thank you very much. Matt Morgan's been un-injured six weeks ago. The new Zack Gowan stamp is made from Lego pieces.

      Be afraid.
      :52 Popeye calls in. He has his own website. Hilarity ensues.

      :59 Nintendo John likes some Castlevania game, but hopefully not the one featuring that Bond villain and that guy who sounds like "Stewart Patrick".

      :68 David Lee Roth calls in like he's some sort of frequent character now. Sadly his soundboard has no new lines from Running With The Devil so he's not much help.

      RD 'remembers' when Johnny Six hosted a show with Blade that one time, which is an excuse to draw a one-line joke even longer than it should. (:72) Are we sure this wasn't included in that April Fools show that one time? Or for that matter, aping Iggy's summations?

      Blade's ex-girlfriend does not want to be on the show. I have no idea why. (:76)

      :82 Chief Jay Strongbow hows.

      :82 The Midnight Rose calls. He hung out with Blade who played a cripple in a movie. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

      :90 Corporal Fagsher is still possessed by a car. Knowing he he's probably just censoring himself with his own car noises.

      :94 Stubby does his shtick. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

      :104 B.M. Punk is Chief Jay Strongbowed, as per usual.

      :105 Satan confuses RD by 'rereading' Billy Graham's letter. I think he does it even more so by not having his music play while he originally did that. He actually congratulates them on their 'achievement', as he is wont to do.

      :111 Sir Alec Heineken and Ellie are 'engaged'. He reads them a 'poem'. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

      :117 Mike Check gets his prison call. Finally, an actual celebrity! NOW the show is picking up. Did he ever tell you about the time he was at Omaha's KFLU 102? He was John Cillin to Andy Rooney's Penny Simpson to host the Penny Cillin Show. [And of course the Curse strikes again, felling the man a fortnight later. - Future PB]

      Blade does his Bill Cosby. (:127)

      So too his Iron Mark Tyson.

      :129 Stevie J shows how ad copy is SUPPOSED to be done. He and his AMP co-host congratulate the Fruitcakes.

      RD doesn't want to take any more chances and decides to end the show. I don't blame him.

      Blade 'doesn't do haikus' on anniversary shows (yeah, you fucking do) so he sings instead. Mrs. Deal, get that 80's era Casio keyboard!

      $4.00 ($36.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

      WCR Video: On The Street with Midnight Rose: Proper Parenting PSA


      On The Street with Midnight Rose: Proper Parenting PSA (by BladeBraxton)

      WCR Video: Midnight Rose & Honky Tonk Mailman Walk Into A Bar…


      Midnight Rose and Honky Tonk Mailman Walk Into A Bar… (by BladeBraxton)

      Minisode #199 Bumper Cars

      by iggy



      August 4, 2011

      RD hurts his back.
      Shelly Martinez will call you if you pay her.
      Sir Alec reads texts from Maryse's stalker.
      Sting has a Bird.
      Troma causes a rift.

      #dolphin man #coyotes

      I don't usually do anything around here except found (I am constantly founding this site), but I've become addicted to cutting up audio. Will this feature stick? Or will it pass without comment like "WCR References" and the career of Flock member Sick Boy?

      Random Thoughts from the Office: August 5, 2011

      Yeah I know. I missed on the last update. I wish I could tell you something that would be a worthy excuse as to why I no-showed but the truth was I had the flu and the column is kind of hard to do when you're concentrating on keeping your bodily organs WITHIN your body.

      It has been interesting to watch though in the past few weeks. Even if the whole CM Punk deal has the smell of "Botch" in the air and we all think it will just be another victory for The Last Son of Krypton. They have at least piqued the viewers curiosity. Add this to the fact that Vince is seemingly no more (At least till sometime around Wrestlemania no doubt) and HHH is now in charge, it's a good way of starting fresh.

      Yeah right.

      I mean, is it me or does the WWE get a free pass a lot of the time because of brand identity? They've been touting this huge change of track, the "HHH Era" as they've branded it on some of their programmin,g and yet you look at the surface and nothing's really changed....well besides Zack Ryder. (Don't worry I'll get back to him in a minute.) Randy Orton and John Cena are still the main focus of the shows, the guys that were seemingly in the next spot to move up are either stuck in limbo (Alberto Del Rio), not allowed to get to over because that would make their star look bad (Christian) or given a moment and then being able to be forgotten about for 6 months again cause they cleverly wrote he's not getting over till Wrestlemania (Daniel(Son) Bryan).

      Compare this to TN....I'm sorry, Impact Wrestling. Clearly we understand by now that TNA by any other name is still TNA and they've been pretty much skewered for it. Even if they've become more WCW-lite now than just a complete abomination like they were when Hogan and Bischoff first came in. Hey I like the Austin Aries thing, I really think they've actually come up with a compelling character out of someone who I didn't really think much of. I mean Austin has always been a good wrestler but he's somewhat....bland. But in TN.....Impact Wrestling, he's been given a chance with the ball and he's run with it. The X division seems to slowly becoming back to some shadow of its former self, there's a lot of good things to like. Then the main events come on and everyone tunes out. But even there they're trying. Kurt Angle and Sting is probably the best match they've got out of the people they actually WANT there so they've gone with it. You can't fault them for that.

      My point is where TNA got blasted, the WWE has been given if not a free pass, at least a more "Wait and See" approach. Not exactly fair or equitable but just an example of how brand loyalty can work for you.

      SPEAKING OF WCW.....WWE has fallen into a trap created by them to. Namely the belief that "If we didn't create it. It didn't happen". If you read the fine literary tome The Death of WCW by RD Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez it tells the story of Goldberg having batting practice with the St Louis Cardinals, specifically Mark McGwire who was the hottest thing in baseball at the tim;, whereas WWE would've promoted the hell out of it the WCW announcers weren't even allowed to mention it because WCW didn't set it up. So WCW missed a key chance to get more over at a time they desperately needed to.

      Fast forward to 2011. Social networking has exploded, Youtube, Facebook, Twitter. All forms of media being accepted as part of the mainstream by both major wrestling companies. The WWE recently reportedly launched an edict that said their superstars should be more open with their fans on Twitter and Youtube and the like. Daniel(Son) Bryan just opened a brand new website, JR as I type this is spending 90 minutes answering questions on Twitter. [I hope it's not just telling people to go fuck themselves - PB] John Cena and CM Punk have massive followings. Yet one man has done more for this medium than anyone else and actually gotten more over than almost anyone because of it. But because it wasn't the WWE's idea he's going to be punished for it.

      Do I even need to say "Woo Woo Woo You Know It?"

      Yep we're back to Zack Ryder, whose Z! True Long Island Stories Youtube series has actually been outdrawing some of the things the WWE's own Youtube page has been putting up. Zack has shown his natural charisma, embraced his character despite the fact he's never really gotten off Superstars and generally made things fun. He's become the IWC's darling, their own hero to get behind and when he was given a couple of Raw matches and then put in as an assistant to Teddy Long...Then apparently we found out he was going to become a geek jobber. A lesson to all: Don't get over without our permission. And a chance lost to draw people in, how many non-wrestling fans I wonder watched those Youtube videos, or at least fans that have stopped watching Raw or Smackdown. At a time when you're hemorrhaging viewers you would think anything that get more eyeballs on your product would have to be a good thing.

      But you would've thought the same thing about WCW as well. Those that fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

      But if somewhere, somehow. A man with a flowered mask gets a call....it may just save it. Make it fun for the Geeks, or Nerds or Poindexters and you might just have something.....

      No I'd still prefer the fur coat and the You Suck tie.

      Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

      199 One-Off: August 4, 2011

      73 minutes

      Emperor, are they REALLY going to harp on this episode milestone constantly over and over to replace the fact that they always have fuck all to actually discuss on the radio progrem? Apparently the answer is yes. "That's what this show's become," RD admits.

      Sad News: both men are hurting bad, although it's more from day to day life rather than injuries from equally angered Listeners. Blade tries to get through the pain by more random singing. RD wants an anniversary re-release of Blade's Black Scorpion entry. They are still accepting submissions for people dressing up as characters at "Nitro parties". Hell, just cut the middleman and send them to me. I could use a good laugh.

      NITRO SAUSAGE PARTY
      And no, don't look at ME to send in anything. I only wear one thing most of the time, and unless Oklahoma University's hockey team is any good, I don't think what I wear counts. Hell, you could say that the only character I dress up as is...well, myself. So leave ME out of this thank you very much.

      :15 RD's back hurts from a bump he took while driving on the wrong side of the road in a bumper car. Those things are deadly killers, let me tell you. Blade makes some meaningless arguments which RD mercilessly tears down.

      :25 The BNV finally has her site up, so RD pays a visit. The two get it in their heads somehow that paying for her to appear on the show every month to answer the Question of the Week would be a license to print money. Or you could just donate the money to be and I can pretend to be her for your enjoyment. The Midnight Rose is appearing on another shoot DVD, this one with Danny Doring. (:34) Poor Maryse has a stalker. Sir Alec is summoned to read some of his strange messages to her. (:39) In actual news, did you know she did an interview for the hometown Habitant?

      :50 Blade wants to make a "NWO B-SquadThunder" spin-off of the "Nitro" Fantasy Football League. Did you know someone made a custom Ted DiBiase and Gary Coleman figure?

      :53 Ultimate Kennedy (12) has a question.

      :55 The HTMM is preoccupied, so RD preoccupies us with Sting's bird. Blade in turn preoccupies us with how his ex-girlfriend un-friended him on Facebook because she didn't like a Troma movie.

      :65 Zack Ryder, geek jobber.

      Triple H is on two shows for double the pain.

      Seventeen Syllables about this:
      There's one champion,
      two champions, three times
      Triple H bullshit.

      $4.00 ($32.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right thing for PC.) Can he break the $50 mark by the end of the year? One can wonder...

      Because everyone else is doing it...






      And you have the spare money for it, why not donate to help keep site and site-r going? Any amount is always appreciated and I'll be sure to give a thanking mention on the day's posts. So what might you be waiting for? Come on, you know you want to.

      Minisode #198 Shelly's No-Show

      by iggy



      July 22, 2011

      Ride Donald Duck
      Shelly Martinez was supposed to call long ago.
      Sir Alec reads PETA's letter to Shawn Michaels.
      New Jack facebooks Terri Runnels.
      Satan calls.
      WrestleCrap Radio Parties?
      Mike Check got around.
      Angry Jim Ross scares children.
      Blade stumbles upon a Mike Tyson impression.

      #fascinating #salmon suit

      I've got nothing to say.

      198 Null-Stars: July 22, 2011

      82 minutes

      Using the opportunity of C.M. Punk 'escaping' WWE with the Belt, Triple H has finally taken his revenge against Vince for putting him in The Chaperone and has temporarily replaced him on screen. My advice for his first order of business: remove whoever is running WWE Studios with someone more competent.

      A rare deal this week only: you can have the Archive Disk for only $15! Related to that you can also get Blade's limited Midnight Rose shirt until August 15th.

      :12 Blade wants to search the "Canon" to find how long his Doug Jarvis-style Mickey James mentioning streak has lasted. (Heh, it's funny seeing the legendary Hab winning his 6th Stanley Cup as an assistant coach with Boston) While I CAN tell you when they started talking about her in the first place, I'm not that much of a fool to go over the episodes AGAIN to pinpoint any gaps and holes in that streak. Not unless serious bribes are involved. Anyway, there's more shilling of this very site. RD wonders if a (no doubt fascinating) segment named "To Quote Mike Check" would be the next Fantasy Booking Island.

      :17 Blade thinks the show is menstruating. I think it's more like it's going through menopause. RD's been in Europe much of the year, but he only took the opportunity just recently to go visit Disneyland Paris. At right is an example of what the "frogs" think is a fun ride to place their young children on. Speaking of unbroken hymens...sadly Popeye does not call in claiming to have made the ride. Shockingly Blade is not drunk...yet. Again, he's probably getting his 'caffeine' in Irish coffee. Cap'n Crunch Treasures are King Pedophile cereals in disguise. (:25) Sadly Popeye does not call in here either to show his approval.

      :29 The Big Nippled Vampire was once supposed to be on the radio progrem against Damien Demento but for some reason she sadly couldn't make it (why am I not surprised?). Sad News: her webpage was down at the time of recording (it's up at the time of writing.) Sir Alec is summoned to try and take her place. (:35) He has another Shawn Michaels 'story' about him against PETA.

      New Jack has been rather heated against his former girlfriend Terri Runnels, she of the house scam. (:43) Sad News: according to him she was spreading a venereal disease around the locker room. Sadder News: she was once involved with New Jack. Saddest News: remember when Don's friend fucked a horse?

      :47 Satan's Tubular Bells are back to their regular 'normal' sound this week. He can't get inside Google Plus yet though. Those anti-daemonic wards must still be working. He reads for us more of New Jack, who apparently has 'naked photos' of her. Even worse is Gene Snitsky 'hacking' his own page to insult the Miz and his fans because he has a hot girlfriend instead of a foot fetishist bounty hunter angle.  Good news is RD doesn't bother to censor him this time, so his daemonic powers are probably at full power today.

      :54 The BNV had some rather strange ring names. Poor lady, she must be far too nice to ask for more dignified sounding names. The Question of the Week is from Dallas James who is lonely and wants to crash a party. RD wants one made for the 200th episode. Blade wants uploaded footage of character dress up to be discussed on said episode.

      :59 The HTMM is again a no-show so Jim calls instead. (:62) He needs a taste tester and takes the time to mock "Johnny Age" and can relate to a TNA Knockout's face paralysis. Then he abruptly leaves. 

      :67 Blade does his Mike Tyson impression. C.M. Punk stores his belt in his fridge to make it Mountain Cold. RD can't help but watch a old clip of a random lady shooting on someone. Why she's not currently on Raw is a mystery for the ages.

      Vince's fashion sense is as impeccable as always.

      All kinds of stuff:
      Vince in salmon suit.
      Goodbye to wrestling, hello
      Chicken of the Sea.

      $5.00 ($28.00)



      What's this? Blade's crossed the $25 mark with flying colors? Why, this calls for...well, a prize! Something bonus that can be fit into the jar (if physically possible) to commemorate this fantastic milestone.

      What do you have for us Rich?


      That's right Blah, it's The Price Is Right computer game! Now you too can have fun coming on down in the comfort of your own home! Get on the Showcase Showdown, get the chance to win a brand new car, or even just mess around just to hear those legendary losing horns while flirting with Carey's Cuties. It can be done with this Nintendo John Seal Of Approval game right in your hands! All this in stunning Windows XP-era graphics for the amazing actual retail price of $19.99, but only if...The Premier Is Right! Back to you, Blah.

      ($28.00 plus TPIR game for $19.99)

      (Many thanks to Robert Q. Seidelman for the item recommendation. Check out his site here. Trust me, it's far more funny than anything I could write.)

      Minisode #197 Savage Boner

      by iggy



      July 1, 2011

      RD has something to say.
      Randy Savage got excited at SummerSlam '88.
      Angry Jim Ross sounds like Freddy Kreuger.
      Satan recites Gorgeous George's facebook rant.
      When's the next show?
      CM Punk shoots.
      BM Punk shoots.

      #lex express #happy 4th of july

      This was the third minisode produced. That's one more edition than "WCR References." Anyone who wants to revive that feature should contact PB. *crickets*

      [I need to find a way to contact myself I suppose... - PB]

      The "I Have Something to Say" List from Show #197 (July 1, 2011)



      Watch the video package by Lanny's Perm Juice here & here.

      Click here for episode recap.

      . . . .

      List by Erik Majorwitz (as found here)

      R.D. Reynolds finally pays up on his Pro Bowl bet, from when, the boys don't know, but believe it was from 2004 or 1983.

      Special Guests: "Angry" Jim Ross, Satan, BM Punk, Randy Baer, Troy Ferguson, and Glen Danzig w/ impostors



      I've Something to Say #1: Me and Gay Popeye were doing some Han Solo and Gweedo role play in bed last night. I shoot first, if you know what I mean.

      I've Something to Say #2: Ricky Steamboat vs Ric Flair is probably something that has sparked more discussions and disagreement between avid wrestling fans than anything else. To be honest, I'd anally rape them both.

      I've Something to Say #3: When the Big Show chokeslammed me, the feeling of being touched by his "bowling ball" like hands gave me a raging hard on.

      I've Something to Say #4: Ohh, you're hurting me Gay Popeye! Use lube next time.

      I've Something to Say #5: Big country booty, big country booby, booyah! (censored) ???

      I've Something to Say #6: Don...Don Mason is correct. It does come bubbling back on you.

      I've Something to Say #7: The baby batter in my bladder makes me fatter.

      I've Something to Say #8: You've got mail! Everytime AOL would tell me that, I daydreamed about receiving a girthy penis in my in box.

      I've Something to Say #9: General Solo, is your Mon Mothma anal strike team assembled?

      I've Something to Say #10: Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, want to take a ride on your disco stick? don't think to much, just but that lick, I want to take a ride on your disco stick. Hut!

      I've Something to Say #11: Phenomable. Phenomable woman. Phenomable woman. That is me.

      I've Something to Say #12: I really love the taste of Linda McMahon's vagina juice.

      I've Something to Say #13: I once faked palsy in 1993 so I could ride shotgun on the Lex Express.

      I've Something to Say #14: You know what the wrestling business has been missing lately? Tassles. ???

      I've Something to Say #15: I want to see a sex tape with Iscises the Amazon and Nicole Bass.

      I've Something to Say #16: And to answer that age old question Bailey or Jennifer from WKRP, I'd go with Jennifer. If only to have sweet, sweet incest with Aunt Lonnie.

      I've Something to Say #17: Last Friday, I was alone in the house and decided to get out a trash bag and start trash bagging it. I must say that I enjoyed it. Yes oh yes, I R.D. Reynolds love to trash bag.

      I've Something to Say #18: Awesome Kong maybe in the WWE, but she can show me that TNA anytime.

      I've Something to Say #19: That's way the pants cookie crumbles.

      I've Something to Say #20: I fart ass milk. ???

      I've Something to Say #21: I am a magical fairy man. I like ponies, flowers, boy bands, and wearing pink ribbons in my hair.

      I've Something to Say #22: That kid, that kid is back on the escalator again.

      I've Something to Say #23: I'm jealous of Stubby because he gets fisted by Blade on a regular basis.

      I've Something to Say #24: My own personal version of Heaven is watch nothingRusso-lead WCW while eating alien ham and ham Doritos and washing it down with Captain Crunch milkshake. Also, my other nickname besides The Deal is Bluto So yes, I am Gay Popeye's lover.

      I've Something to Say #25: You can have your Jerry Rices, your Michael Irvins, your Art Monks, your Steve Largents, and Calvin Johnsons Blade, but the most sure handed wide receiver in NFL history is Hank Baskett

      I've Something to Say #26: The Road Warrior Animal pregnancy without panties angle will never be mentioned again.

      I've Something to Say #27: Hey Jim Boy, y'all ever had a real Georgia style mint julip?

      I've Something to Say #28: I would spend all my money at Dennys where all the eggs were cooked on Sunny's labia.

      I've Something to Say #29: MS DEAL, I'M LEAVING YOU FOR GAY POPEYE, I WANT HIM TO SWAB MY POOP DECK!

      I've Something to Say #30: Dr. Robert Q. Sidelman is the sexiest man alive.

      I've Something to Say #31: I've had to do this whole show standing up because Gay Popeye came over last night to play my custom cornhole game.

      I've Something to Say #32: Blade you will have to excuse me, Mexican night has caused me to come down with a terrible case of the runs. The tacos, burritos, quesdillas, and taquitos have resulted in me having to paint my toilet bowl all shades of brown. (farting noises)

      I've Something to Say #33: I think that Curtis Painter youngster doesnt get the respect he deserves. Screw you Peyton Manning!

      I've Something to Say #34: The swear jar windfall will be shoved up my anus.

      I've Something to Say #35: Ms Deal, get Ian Rotten on the phone right now!

      I've Something to Say #36: Did I ever tell you about the time the Bushwackers licked me on the head. Not the one about my shoulders.

      I've Something to Say #37: I've often been fantasized by being double teamed by the American Males or maybe totally buff. As long as Marcus Bagwell is involved I'm down, if you know what I mean.

      I've Something to Say #38: I'll bet Gay Popeye can't deep throat.

      I've Something to Say #39: Hello, my name is Gwen, I'm here to wash your vagina.

      I've Something to Say #40: I spend my day working hard on the go, but the hand on the clock keeps spinning too slow. I can't wait to be alone with my funk sock tonight. Turn the lights down bolt the door.

      I've Something to Say #41: No means yes, yes means anal.

      I've Something to Say #42: Tiny things please tiny minds and when a thing is this tiny it would be hard to please anybody.

      I've Something to Say #43: Blade I know how much you like talking about firm buttocks and massive knobs, did I ever tell you about the massive orgy of 1975 where yours truely was involved. I was so off it that night and I only had two drinks and one wasn't alcohol. I came across two women and a man and that was before the night.

      I've Something to Say #44: I would love to try Don...Don Mason's caramel topping on me.

      I've Something to Say #45: Everytime I hear "Angry" Jim's voice I grow alittle in size, if you know what I mean.

      I've Something to Say #46: My first love broke my heart for the first time. I was like oh baby, baby. Thought you'd always be mine mine. Baby baby O... Too stupid to type sorry.

      I've Something to Say #47: I'm a big fan of Reptilian Ric Flair.

      I've Something to Say #48: I wish I could be in the middle of a human centipede of Gay Popeye and Nicole Bass.

      I've Something to Say #49: Dr. Feelgood parody

      I've Something to Say #50: Chickedy Chyna, wanna get that vagina, freak like Steiner.

      Random Thoughts from the Office: July 1, 2011

      Wow. We're finally updating? It's been so long since we had an update I was beginning to think there'd never be one and up until Wednesday I had no idea what I was going to write about. See, I've slacked off a bit from my duties as a wrestling fan. Not because the product has gotten worse or anything, I mean the WWE are at least trying to make new stars, like R-Truth's push, that's been a great step in the right direction. TNA is still a hopeless failure but a never ending source of material, which provided there's another update before the next vernal equinox I will get to.

      No, the main reason I didn't have a column idea is because since the last update I have gotten hold of a creature I had thought to be a myth up until about 5 weeks ago: A girlfriend. So wrestling had kind of taken a backseat for me.

      Then CM Punk came and saved the day for me.

      So this "Worked Shoot" promo got a lot of people talking, and really for all the scripted things in there you couldn't fault Punk for his views. I mean the WWE seems unwilling to gamble with the main event stars. There's only two the company has any faith in whatsoever, John Cena and Randy Orton. Woe betide the WWE if one of them gets injured.

      Now the WWE are trying but they always run into this catch-22 scenario they seem to impose on themselves. Basically it breaks down to this: You can't get a big star until you've won a feud and looked strong against an established big star (Cena or Orton) but you can't go over and look strong against an established big star because you yourself are not a big star.

      Look at the two most recent examples that have come down the line for the WWE in terms of who they're trying to move into the main event. R-Truth and Christian. R-Truth has been the hottest thing going on in wrestling in the past month, his heel promos about Little Jimmys and Johnnys and his ascertations he's been in a conspiracy have made him by far the hottest heel the WWE had. The stage was set at Capitol Punishment where the time was right for Truth to at least get a run, maybe a one month, two month thing leading into Summerslam, but instead we had the glorious spectactle of Truth jobbing to a cup of soda; what momentum he had was squashed. All hail the last son of Krypton.

      But as bad as Truth has had it, there ain't NOBODY who has been screwed over as much as Christian. Remember the feelgood moment we all shared when Christian grabbed the brass ring and won the World Heavyweight title in that ladder match. One of the guys who'd given us so much entertainment had finally got his time to shine! Remember the horror we all felt two days later when we read the Smackdown Spoilers? It had to be a joke right? He lost to Orton already? That can't be right. Of course it WAS right and the IWC collectively lost its shit.

      Now there's two ways you can go about this and try and make money.

      1) Have Orton feel sorry that the match was sort of sprung on him, offer Christian a rematch at the pay per view, then when Christian wins, have Orton snap and beat the everloving crap out of him, turn heel and you have a hot feud that can take you to Summerslam.

      2) As much as the IWC wouldn't like it, turn Christian heel, have him win the belt back at the Pay Per View and give Orton something to chase, Christian meanwhile plays the cocky yet cowardly heel, constantly sneak attacking, constantly setting up roadblocks for Orton, anything to avoid getting back in the ring with him until finally at Summerslam he has no choice but to put it all on the line against Orton. Orton wins, fans go home happy, both are bigger stars and you have a new main eventer to put in your back pocket when you need to go there.

      But of course the problem with that is (Say it with me here) Christian isn't a big star, so they go through the early steps of turning him heel and setting him up for the pay per view, they don't pull the trigger and there's nothing but Orton and the associates left on Smackdown.

      It's not rocket science, in fact it's Booking 101. Create new stars, and new talent that the fans will pay money to see fight and watch the cash roll in. Put it this way if Zack Ryder was the WWE champion right now. The WWE would do better buyrates.

      The time has come to create new stars, and the time of relying on the Big Two has to stop and if the Idiotic Daughter and the Doofus Son-in-Law don't realize it and convince the old man to change, there may not be much of a company left for them to take over when the old man dies.

      Clarence "Showstealer" Mason