WCR Video: Piper’s 2011 Halloween Tips / Blade sings “Idiots in Cars"


Piper’s 2011 Halloween Tips / Blade sings “Idiots in Cars" (by rvm619)

Random Thoughts from the Office: October 28, 2011

I can't say I blame Roddy Piper for wanting to feed poison to Vince. God knows after the shit we've had shoved down our throats for the past few years I'd want to poison him too....on the 0.01% that it might give him super intellect and make him see that what he's booking is fucking stupid. [He'd make a worthy super-villain in my opinion.] But that's just me.

Halloween is the time for evil it seems, a time when all the bad is brought home to roost. Satan, Witches, Big Show-Mark Henry matches. It all makes sense; I didn't care when the ring collapsed when Brock Lesnar did it, I certainly don't know.

That's not to say I don't care about Mark Henry however.

You see this is going to be one of those rare columns where I take time to give a little praise for something the WWE has done right, in this case the booking of Mark Henry as a monster heel champion.

Mizark has been with the company 15 years now, 15 loooooong years with a million shitty gimmicks. Sexual Chocolate, banging Mae Young, falling in love with a tranny, sort of being the living embodiment of Fantasy Booking Island. You can understand why one day he'd just snap and start randomly destroying people, except of course as I've pointed out before, a lot of times that can't happen in the WWE. But this time they started it out right by targeting him after the biggest guy on the roster, Big Show, and he squashed him and then "Pillmanized" his ankle, leaving Henry to set his sights on the champion Randy Orton.

I admit this is where I thought the push would die. After all God forbid we make Randy Orton look weak, especially by a guy like Mark Henry who's not over. Remember the catch 22 argument I made? You can't get over unless you beat a top star but you can't beat a top star cause you're not over? That was where you'd lay good odds of things dying, but wrestling does have a way of surprising us, and so when Mark won the title after the initial shock there was a sort of mixed reception.

You know I don't get that. I mean sure you can use the "It's Mark Henry" argument but at least it's someone different. How excited were we all when Christian won the title for the first time? A different face is not a bad thing, especially when you consider the alternative is so stale. And the monster heel champion can work. The monster heel is a staple of booking 101, has been since the days of Hulk Hogan; then when the babyface beats him it gets the fans so excited that they can't help but get over.....unless your name is John Cena.

The best thing the WWE could do is keep the belt on Henry through to WrestleMania, build him up as this unstoppable monster who destroys everyone in sight, hurts people in and out of the ring. Then you have the opportunity to create a new star, because who is "cashing in" his Money in the Bank at 'Mania? Daniel(son) Bryan. Instant new star, instant interest in your product, instant better things for the WWE in general.

Of course that would mean they'd have to put aside the LULZ they'd get from pissing the IWC off again when Bryan becomes the first MitB winner to lose....so of course that will never happen.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

201 Piper's Pit-SA: October 28, 2011

73 minutes

"Don't work for Vince Russo"?
It is the Witching Season once again, which gives the Fruitcakes ample opportunity to fluster and filibuster and fart around as per their idiom. Of course they do it all the time, but it's even more so in this case. Blade has 'morals' that he hangs on his wall. He repeats about the time he wore a Darth Maul outfit and Don Mason wore a star on his face. (:10) RD wants to be the king of the geeks nerds & poindexters. (:15) He'd be scarier than any tyrant.

:17 Piper's PSAs raise a question: Is it Thank YOU or Thank YA? Blade once received Mork & Mindy trading cards and even an Action Figure. Those are worse than razor apples. At King's Island RD escaped 'paying' for raisin boxes. RD's PSA: obtain some actual good candy to give out.

:27 Blade paid the Big Nippled Vampire and now has to 'schedule' her to be on their progrem. Nowadays she seems to be stuck on TMZ answering randomly awful questions. Huey is possessed by Satan. RD calls him "Son of Huey".

At last we shall reveal ourselves to the Jedi.
At last we shall have our Mars bars.
:32 Lita's in a Haunted House called the Atlanta Chamber Of Horrors. Sadly it's not Jim Ross' UWF Haunted House and we don't see Abdullah The Butcher on an electric chair, so I don't really care about it much.

:38 Sunny is auctioning off her Hall Of Fame dress as the latest high priced spunk rag. Blade repeats the story of Don's blow up doll. Is it a sign of dementia if you repeat the same things over and over again without knowing it? "I am ashamed of myself" Blade admits.

:41 "Satan" calls, seeing as how it's his season. Leave Santa Claus to the commercialism of Christmas, this is his time damnit! Former old guard Madusa disagrees with Kevin Nash on WWE. I can't argue with that; no offense to the man but he did help kill off WCW after all.

Not, not sure I get the reference, there, Carl.
:46 RD once again has to go back to Facebook to answer a 'Question' from Carl Zayas. The Fruitcakes do, however, somewhat 'answer' his query. I think that's the only way to get an answer from the two; send them something that is less about wrestling and more just a random non sequitur.

:52 The Honky Tonk Mailman has the 'holiday' off. So why is he spending his time on the radio progrem? That's more arduous than any work I've seen. In his neighborhood people hand out Observers instead of candy. Even Blade is speechless. In 'today's' news Hulk Hogan is returning to TNA...three weeks ago. The Halloween Havoc '98 commemorative stamp has a free refund. (For those who don't know, WCW was so inept that they were forced to air the PPV for free the day after, thus enraging those few who had paid for it. But don't take my word for it.) RD is worried about the Colonel's regression into a baby. But does he speak in Bruce Willis' voice?

The audience also took a nap during Vengeance.
:60 Blade forgot his bicentennial popcorn bucket. 'This is why you fail," he tells himself rather circularly. The ring at the recent Vengeance PPV can support a 40-man fight but apparently not just two guys standing on top of it. Blade does his Iron Mark Tyson. (:65)

:66 RD plays Blade's recording with Piper. He's not actually on the show, and I can't blame him. He probably thought the duo would take another month to record an episode and decided to be recorded instead. He's rather contradictory in his advice this time, advising trick-or-treaters to "burn [the] lawn" of those they don't like.

Blade sings again.

$1.00 ($37.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)

Minisode #201 Halloween Raisins

by iggy



October 28, 2011

Don Mason dressed as Paul Stanley.
A cleaner show
Mork & Mindy suspenders
King's Island trick-or-treating
Huey the Ghoul is hyper.
Satan
The Honky Tonk Mailman and friends are out trick-or-treating as The Flintstones.
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper's new Halloween PSA

#bubblegum cards #imagine that

Take care.

Minisode #200 Hobo Parade

by iggy



October 21, 2011

Johnny Six intro
Angry Jim versus Johnny Ace
John Thomas
Honky Tonk Mailman
Gay Popeye
David Lee Roth
Corporal Kirchner as a car
Stubby
BM Punk
Satan
Mike Check

#have you ever noticed #manly voice

I fell asleep three times.

Random Thoughts from the Office: October 21, 2011

It's been nearly 3 months since we've (and by extension the Fruitcakes) had to do anything, so you can't expect solid gold the first time out. Case in point, this column which is probably going to suck.

There's plenty of things to discuss. I could talk about how the WWE totally screwed up and basically buried one of the hottest things they had in years in CM Punk just so we could have the second coming of Johnny Ace (I still say he should be forced to carry the skateboard with him. That thing would still get heat). But then I kind of expected that from the start. I could humbly eat crow, because it looks like they might actually be getting behind a concerted push of Zack Ryder, when I thought that might be impossible, but then I always have a get-out clause when it comes to WWE nowadays in terms of that. That clause of course being "Well, wait a month". If he wins the US title this Sunday THEN we'll talk, until then it's just window dressing. I could go over a lot of my favorite Wrestlecrap Radio memories, but then most of mine at a lot like your own anyway.....well except maybe this one where I set off what I will argue was the greatest tangent ever, but then I'm incredibly selfish. Oh yeah there's that too.

But ultimately I'm going to go to one of the staples of my column, because with the news that happened while we were all away there really is only one thing I feel I could discuss.

Yep, Vince Russo.

So there's much rejoicing throughout the land as Russo stepped down as head writer of TN.....Impact Wrestling and was replaced by Brother Love. Things would finally turn around for them; they may not be able to compete but at least the shows would be watchable again, there would finally be a chance and certainly the first salvo is promising as they're giving James Storm a run with the TNA Championship and there's not the same people on top that there normally are. Maybe they've learnt.

You think by now we'd know better.

Yes once again I'm going to go into my spiel that Vince Russo isn't a bad writer; he has bad IDEAS yes but he's not a bad writer and actually I do believe that the move is the right one for TNA. As much as I respect his abilities as a writer Vince Russo just CAN'T be your head writer; he works best when he has a "filter", someone who can say "no" to him.....but I'm not so sure Pritchard is that guy.

Let's not beat around the bush, Pritchard is a puppet. The real power of creative lies in the two men that have pretty much tanked TNA in the first place, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff. Look at what's happening (And just a warning, I'm trying not to but I may sneak into spoiler territory here), if we argue that the whole Storm thing is the number one story, what's number two? Eric Bischoff and his son.....WHO THE FUCK CARES?

Maybe I'm just being jaded but I lost faith in anything TNA served up from pretty much the moment Hogan signed with them, and like WWE lately my argument is always "Wait five minutes". That's more an indictment of WWE though. Hogan and Bischoff seem permanently stuck in 1996 where they think they are what's right with wrestling and if you disagree you're either a smart mark or you don't "Get it". Ironically Vince McMahon thought the same thing for the longest time and it took an error of judgement, a happy mistake and a daring writer willing to capitalize on the situation to turn the ship around. The error in judgement came from a man who would ultimately become his son in law, the happy mistake turned the man who took the ball and ran with it into the greatest name in wrestling history and the writer who was willing to capitalize on it.....just stepped down as TNA's Head Writer.

Such is life.....such is wrestling.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

200 The Call-Out: October 21, 2011

137 minutes (!)

Image by Simon Beach and Nikolai Nelson
If their arrows blot out the sun,
it would help global warming.
Despite missing two months to who knows what, things are back to 'normal', at least before the duo takes the year off due to someone breaking their back or something. And what better way to do that than to reminisce, both with the Fruitcakes and other Listeners favorite moments on a forum thread. Even RD has forgotten a few moments during the show's history, which shows he's not a regular visitor of this here site, or he'd be better informed! And he would also know that our Beloved Founder (The Founder to my Premier as it were) [To my hired help? - Clarence][The Founder to my Premier to my Showstealer, as it were.] has helped summarize all their episodes. Go have a look if you will. Trust me, it's better than the real thing anyway, because nothing of note happens for the next 24 minutes, except for another Don anal story (is there any other kind?).

Blade spoils things by saying that Rowdy Roddy Piper (the ACTUAL legend and not just his legendary PSAs) will be appearing next episode. (:18)

Blade has found his favorite 'Nitro party' entry. (:22) He reads an '11th hour' letter sent in August.

And now you could just end the show here. (Mrs. Deal! Get Iggy on the phone!) This is because the rest of the show is just people calling in and mucking about. If that sounds familiar...well it is, and we don't even get Global Internet's Greg or the Zombie to spice things up. I'm not necessarily going to take them to task for disobeying the Cornette Rule and repeat the same angle (or episode theme in this case) only after seven years, and I know they were probably rushed for time to do something or waste another fruitless week...But looking at this from a creative view point as I normally do, they should at least have made one thing different. Perhaps have Nate come back from the 'dead' and have him break Mike Check out of jail so he can call in randomly and threaten them with the possible play of a Men Without Hats single or something. I'm expecting next year to be another clip show that would rival the infamous TNG episode Shades Of Grey in terms of boringness or something.

So this year we're essentially getting a WCR Roster roll call as various characters call in to fart around and have fun for some random reason.

And I wonder if I'm losing my mind sometimes.

:25 That out of the way, let's get to the self-congratulatory circle jerking already. Jim Ross calls to insult the Fruitcakes. Hey, that's my job! I didn't realize he was a newly recruited Co-Historian...He revisits his only video to read comments.

:34 One loan (hah!) bright spot arises with John Thomas, sight for sore ears. Blade 'thinks' about him. John's been hunting Brakestown down over lifetimes like a Highlander.

:42 The Honky Tonk Mailman gives a call, now the longest running Intercontinental champion TNA correspondent for doing fuck all while the show was hibernating, thank you very much. Matt Morgan's been un-injured six weeks ago. The new Zack Gowan stamp is made from Lego pieces.

Be afraid.
:52 Popeye calls in. He has his own website. Hilarity ensues.

:59 Nintendo John likes some Castlevania game, but hopefully not the one featuring that Bond villain and that guy who sounds like "Stewart Patrick".

:68 David Lee Roth calls in like he's some sort of frequent character now. Sadly his soundboard has no new lines from Running With The Devil so he's not much help.

RD 'remembers' when Johnny Six hosted a show with Blade that one time, which is an excuse to draw a one-line joke even longer than it should. (:72) Are we sure this wasn't included in that April Fools show that one time? Or for that matter, aping Iggy's summations?

Blade's ex-girlfriend does not want to be on the show. I have no idea why. (:76)

:82 Chief Jay Strongbow hows.

:82 The Midnight Rose calls. He hung out with Blade who played a cripple in a movie. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:90 Corporal Fagsher is still possessed by a car. Knowing he he's probably just censoring himself with his own car noises.

:94 Stubby does his shtick. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:104 B.M. Punk is Chief Jay Strongbowed, as per usual.

:105 Satan confuses RD by 'rereading' Billy Graham's letter. I think he does it even more so by not having his music play while he originally did that. He actually congratulates them on their 'achievement', as he is wont to do.

:111 Sir Alec Heineken and Ellie are 'engaged'. He reads them a 'poem'. He temporarily gets possessed by Jim Ross again.

:117 Mike Check gets his prison call. Finally, an actual celebrity! NOW the show is picking up. Did he ever tell you about the time he was at Omaha's KFLU 102? He was John Cillin to Andy Rooney's Penny Simpson to host the Penny Cillin Show. [And of course the Curse strikes again, felling the man a fortnight later. - Future PB]

Blade does his Bill Cosby. (:127)

So too his Iron Mark Tyson.

:129 Stevie J shows how ad copy is SUPPOSED to be done. He and his AMP co-host congratulate the Fruitcakes.

RD doesn't want to take any more chances and decides to end the show. I don't blame him.

Blade 'doesn't do haikus' on anniversary shows (yeah, you fucking do) so he sings instead. Mrs. Deal, get that 80's era Casio keyboard!

$4.00 ($36.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)