WCR Video: Rowdy Roddy Piper's Christmas Tips!

For the last WCR Video for 2018, I (R.V.M Kai) thought it would be "good" to upload the late "Rowdy" Roddy Piper's lesser known "Christmas Tips" as heard on Wrestlecrap Radio episode #279). And for those wondering, the audio clips were taken from the Christmas edition of "WWF Prime Time Wrestling", back in 1989, where "Hot Rod" had some 'issues' with a Santa Claus-clad Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.

(Also note: Roddy's Xmas Tips were originally aired on WCR during episode #88, back in 2007, and you can also listen to them by watching the corresponding WCR MINISODE here.)




So have a MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of ya from us at wrestlecrapradio.com!

And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

279 Take Me Home, Christmas Roads: December 17, 2018

...But Blade will still pass out under the Xmas tree anyway because he loves ya!
96 minutes

RD is very animated and fast moving due to the holiday season, and spends the first few minutes extolling the virtues of this here site you are currently on.

RD: "These people are great."

Blade thinks they have new listeners (somehow).

RD: "We used to be a good show."

The two are confused about episode recording dates.

Blade does not like the sick kids at Christmas. (:10) RD prepares to be 50 next month. Hopefully he will not get stricken with lung cancer and become a master bad breaker of crystal meth under the name of Faraday, while Blade continues to be his sidekick but has to say "bitch" every other sentence or so.

The Co-Christmas-Fruitcakes argue over age as just a number. Blade took a 869 mile ride in 2001 and rode his rental car to death.

RD: "It's not the years, it's the terrain."
Blade: "Dope."

(Perhaps that will be Blade Braxman's catchphrase instead of "bitch" in that above scenario.)

RD considers reselling WC shirts. Blade mistakenly thinks he will look attractive in them.

RD was once again in the Low Countries (the Netherlands) for work. Over there they celebrate Christmas as normal, but also an earlier time for Sinterklass, AKA Saint Nicholas (he of course being the original source of Santa Claus) on his Day on December 6th.

[Timeout real quick. Quite recently, there has been much debate over the political correctness of Zwarte Piet, or Black Pete, a character associated with Sinterklass though only first appearing in an 1850 book. He's supposedly a Spanish Moor who has a dirty face due to his chimney traversal like Santa.

So of course he is traditionally portrayed in blackface.

The whole affair is very tumultuous and more time consuming than a six hours long wrestling progrem, so feel free to look up the whole thing yourself.]

RD brought back with him Lidl Sinterklass chocolate lollies in his shape, which for some reason have a big hole as his belly button. Blade thinks that makes Sinterklass a child trafficker. RD: "You're not gonna miss Santa's hole." Blade feels like watching stuff that puts the XXX in Xmas. RD: "As is being discussed currently." Anyway, the treat seems "sweetened by fruit extract" which is unappealingly distracting.

Sad News: Bill Fralic, Wrestlemania II Battle Royale participant and figure atop the WC Fantasy Football League trophy, is no longer with us. (:23) RD wants to immortalize him as a sole parade float.

Debbie Reynolds singing about Tammy makes Blade laugh, making him remember how it was once a "gift" of his to RD. (:30) She wants to defer her retirement to next year, which is sure to cause no trouble at all. She was recently asking on social media for "an autographed Jose Canseco jersey" and flailing in argument when others poked fun at her for it. RD does his Tammy impression after Blade turns the offer down. She refers to a Filofax, and RD is amazed that she too makes obscure references.

Tammy is also apparently four pounds away from her Hall Of Fame weight and wants to return to selling sensual photos of herself while still active. Blade finds it amusing that Reby Sky will be her photographer, remembering that they once publicly feuded over Sid Vicious, of all people. Not surprisingly, RD is done with her in her current state.

Mike Check: "RJ, do you have love in your heart?" (:41)

He once worked in 70's Tuscaloosa as Jammin' Jack Jones on WLIQ "The Big Lick". He delivered to a target demographic of truckers while his CB Radio was on. (Blade asks him about a "Ho lotta lizard" because of course he does. ... Don't look that up.) Together with Slick Willy Daniels they did The Jack Daniels Overnight Drive (probably sponsored by Johnnie Walker).

He then plays a rather odd tune even by my standards and that's saying a lot: 8 year old John Denver begging his father not to become a sleepy alcoholic on Christmas. Thank God he's a Country Boy though and he didn't go through the same situation as an adult. No, he instead once went on a chainsaw rampage inside his home and almost strangled his wife. Totally different! I'm fully expecting to find out that Annie's Song was playing throughout his Jack Torrance impression.

Regardless, Blade remembers again some advertisement back in '95 for The John Denver Collection on vinyl. Sad News: his mother did not listen to his request to give him a copy. Sadder News: he was 20 years old at the time.

Steven Breech asks how best to use Santa Claus in wrestling. (:52) RD and I of course remember Xanta Claus. Blade has Santa Heenan angering Piper in PSA format. Blade wishes Santa Piper would have feuded with John Denver's dad.

Blade promises he will look into the Unsolved Mystery of Unsolved Mysteries. (:56) Like Tammy he also defers his Big Announcement for a year.

RD shares his favorite Christmas memory of late. He had bought a Santa suit 20 years back that he could finally use at Rupert's Arcade. There Santa could be challenged at a game for a chance to win a prize. One girl in particular met him normally, then was seen playing nicely at the machines. This was a change from the other naughty children who trash talked poor Santa. Blade thinks he should have been tougher. RD replies that if so nobody would have won a prize.

Blade's favorite Christmas memory is of his Mickie James under mistletoe. He remembers being unable to get her Stocking as a funk sock.

RD: "I like it when you think of non-wrestling you think of our show."

For some reason Blade remembers that time Jim was singing for his "Christmas album" so the two call him up for a chance at more songs. (:70) He's busy with a "child" at the moment, but before an alarmed RD can call the authorities on him he reveals he's also multitasking as Santa because nobody else is around to do it. RD does his Mike Check impression of him asking children about food. "Go Bah Humbug!" Jim replies.

Needless to say they fail to ask him one single thing about his album, and the segment falls apart from there (assuming it wasn't intending to anyway).

Vince McMahon is to appear again on Raw in an attempt to right its horrible ratings. Who would have thought that unopposed with no real competition and a crazy and out of touch old man running things for over 15 years that things will ultimately become this stale and awful? (:74) Blade does his random Iron Mike Tyson impression by thinking that WWE is nowadays a circus, a thought that I too share. I really should write something more on that someday.

He did appear on Raw in what one site deemed a Big Announcement.

No, really.

Said Big Announcement? He, Stephanie, Shane, and Hunter will make more appearances.

No, really.

Because that was what everyone was asking for right? More of the same old same old?

No? It isn't?

At this point they should just make it official and change the name to Impact or Thunder. (Lightning?)

I also guess Linda was too busy pretending to work in the current administration (speaking of circuses) to attend and be a 5th. Perhaps when things are going REALLY well with this current arrangement.

Sigh.

At this point maybe they SHOULD cancel the show and replace it with RD and Blade making meth in an old RV in the Midwest forests or something. For one thing it would at least be better written.

:79
  • Jordan Mishkin had sent RD NFL Pro '90 trading cards, a 1977 "Pro Wrestling Sports Review" about apartment wrestling (to forward to Blade), something called "Al Japino" potato chips (already opened but taste alright), Wrestlemania III trading cards, and a WWF Wrestling Trivia game. He asks Blade questions like a Co-Hosss audition. He gets 5 out of 6 correct.
  • I had sent the both of them a record of Phil Collins' No Jacket Required, which in all sincerity I believe is underrated. Mike Check had played them Don't Lose My Number in his first live remote appearance.
  • RD had sent Blade a Barry Sanders Christmas Keepsake Ornament.
  • Blade had sent RD a Tammy "gift card" in the form of a $30 Western Union money order for her photos. I'm sure his wife would approve. RD: "That's the worst gift ever."

Here you go, Seventeen Syllables:
Vince McMahon is back.
He's 73 years old.
His shtick feels older.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Patreon
  • URLs not taken: 2. BackwhenWrestleCrapRadioWasFunny.com, Santashole.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Timely as today’s headlines
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Jim
 
  • Blade Time Outs:  1
  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Blade Burps: 2
  • Robotic Reindeer Laughs: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
  
  • Question of the Week from: Steven Breech
    • Best use of Santa Claus in wrestling? RD: Xanta Claus. Blade: Bobby Heenan.
 
  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  Top 3 Christmas Memories.
    • RD:  Dress up as Santa at Rupert’s Arcade
    • Blade:  N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: An unwanted Christmas re-gifting:
    Vince McMahon is back.
    He’s 73 years old.
    His shtick feels older.

278 SurviveStarr Series: November 26, 2018

What were you thinking in selling this Lora?
90 minutes

Blade can't remember much in his life due to the many concussions he has had. "I miss being a child," he laments. He's again drinking a Miller Lite while his itinerary is written on a cardboard cape.

RD apologizes to British listeners for thinking they don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Both November AND October.

Blade still has a Big Announcement. (:08) He begs people to join Patreon so that he can be drunk/hungover full time.

RD: "If every one of you listening to my voice donated just a couple dollars, we'd wind up with $24. I don't think that's enough."

Blade would eat his grandmother's salmonella laced turkey in his youth. That probably explains the concussions, among other things. (:14) The two wonder when the term Black Friday came into parlance. The ever accurate Wikipedia puts it first appearing in 1951, though its shopping connotations would first appear around a quarter century later.

Blade: "If it wasn't me, it wasn't me, you know? Put that on my tombstone."
RD: "'If it wasn't me, it wasn't me. Here lies Blade Braxton.'"

RD has always feared the day when he would not find any craziness to report, and is offended by Blade's suggestion to make something up if so. This was further exacerbated by going to a Walmart where everyone was worryingly polite, like something out of a modern horror movie. (:21) (He also advises not to use a cart, go in groups, and not vomit in the aisles like Blade once did.) So he went to Coles. There a woman fell on her head, and when he tried to help her up she apologized to him for the inconvenience. Thankfully (for RD and not the woman) in the electronics section an elderly lady was loudly lecturing some young women and by extension the whole store about bra sizes. When retelling Mrs. Deal about this he had to remind her that they were intimate, for some reason.

Someone Bought This: A random Mike Rotundo photograph. (:30) Blade: "I thought you wanted a bra." RD doesn't know what size he would be.

Batista has changed his torso sun tattoo into one with two (non-turkey) birds. Since he's quitting Guardians Of The Galaxy 3 in solidarity with James Gunn, Blade suggests Randy Baer to take his place. RD remembers seeing his unhappy face at his last wrestling show before Mark Henry beat him up. (RD, not Batista.)

Speaking of Sunny, she's clearing out her closet for sale, including Chris Candido's Bodydonnas singlet. (:37)

Blade: "I'm sure we both had a lower obsession with Sunny."
RD: "I did not have a poster of her on my bathroom wall."

RD has a lot of old stuff in his closet. Blade has some torn pants.

Mickie James and her husband have a contest where someone can win a holiday ticket to see their family. (:44) Blade thinks he can win for a 15 minute car ride. He offers a 20 minute car ride ticket to be won on his Instagram page with the term #hoboholidays. Or was it #hoboholiday? I don't think even he knows for sure. Too many concussions you see.

Anonymous Brooke is a second-time mother, and managed to bounce back into shape within two weeks. (:51) RD thinks Blade has illegitimate children, which he probably doesn't know about because of...you know.

Amher Ali asks a Question on Blade's (non-Instagram) Facebook post about the WCW-based viability of the evil architect Bill Ding (as created by Jim Cornette and portrayed by Disco Inferno). (:55) RD would have him fight The Wall, obviously. Blade struggles because of...you know...and suggests he could hide Hacksaw Jim Duggan's 2x4 in a house or something.

The two get to discussing past Survivor Serieses. RD fondly remembers the one he drove six hours (long) to, the Gobbledly Gooker, and Crazy Bob Backlund defeating Bret Hart. Blade remembers Demolition, Demolition, and Demolition.

RD has no idea why WWE is bringing Starrcade back, since last time it was such a success that this year it is an hour long house show in Cincinnati. (:75) RD remembers the one time the original PPV had a Skywalkers Match in '86, possibly live from Cloud City. Blade is fond of not just his mascot the Black Scorpion, but the whole '90 show he was main eventing. The two then remember the effectiveness of the Dungeon Of Doom's masks to conceal identity.

Injured Becky Lynch requires about Seventeen Syllables:
Becky's broken nose.
How long will Becky be out?
No one really nose.

RD: "I don't think we're quitting our day jobs anytime soon."



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Black Friday
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com
  • URLs not taken: 2.LowerObsessionWithTammySytch.com, StephanieWyantsCloset.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Christmas presents, ideas we’ve come up with to flesh out and fleshing.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 1. Storks
 
  • Blade Time Outs:  2 (1 Real quick)
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  • Krankor Laughs:
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
 
  • Question of the Week from: Amher Ali
    • According to Jim Cornette, Disco Inferno once had the idea of an evil wrestling architect named Bill Ding. What storyline would you have like to see Vince Russo use him in? WCW feuding with the Wall (RD) or feuding with “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (Blade).

  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 Favorite Survivor Series Moments.
    • RD:  Driving six hours to go see the 1987 Survivor Series, the Gooker, Bob Backlund’s WWF title win over Bret Hart.
    • Blade:  Demolition face turn, the fall of Demolition, Demolition’s first PPV (in order)
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade speculates how long this injury will sideline Becky:
    Becky's broken nose.
    How long will Becky be out?
    No one really nose.

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #188: The Misadventures of Black Friday

It's Black Friday kids! And that means that there are thousands of people at the stores today looking for a bargain. In 2010 (on Wrestlecrap Radio episode #188), RD Reynolds witnessed someone at Target looking for a bargain, that he dubbed "Candy Bar Woman", who would gain a $10 gift card if she spent $100. The problem was that her items only cost $96, and thus went away to collect seven candy bars...ONE AT A TIME, until she made up the cost. Also, RD went to Meijer and saw a man with a full cart of strawberries and only "one" cucumber? Why only one?...Perhaps Gay Popeye could explain this one? And finally, RD went to Menard's and witnessed a "Black Friday miracle" as he saw a women, that was wheelchair bound, pop up and used it as a shopping cart?...People will do anything for a bargain???



...And you know who else is looking for a bargain on Black Friday? It's Dolly Parton with her song "The Bargain Store" over on The Mike Check Show!

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives and here for more WCR Minisodes!

277 RD-Animator: October 30, 2018

Costume Ideas For Halloween: Idiot In Car and Idiot in Neon!
53 minutes

RD attempts to play it straight. This lasts for a minute before his "doorbell" rings. His subsequent receiving of a package, which contains the SeanceTrolla N08 Cauldron, makes Blade laugh. He turns it on, making it play cliche "scary music" and causing a dot matrix printer to print him an ominous warning. (:08)

'Someone' told Blade last progrem that his low register voice makes him sound sleepy. And here I thought he was just drunk or hungover.

As is his eternal custom Roddy Piper warns the kids about idiots in cars. Blade has some issues with his syntax. (:13)

Blade: "You know, wouldn't it be fun if we were like down to two listeners, and those two listeners were named RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton?"

A now teenage RD Junior has been to Disneyworld at least once a year. (:17) Sad News: Rafiki's ride is being shut down (it's the circle of life you see).

Blade shills being on TV and in more horror movies. (:24)

Brooke Hogan: Fashion Hero's 2nd season is going international. Apparently this is a thing. Blade sings badly without RD's MIDI to accompany him.

At Wrestlecon April 5th Joey Ryan will have some sort of Penis Party right in the middle of the MetLife stadium. Blade does some more random singing.

Piper reminds people to say please and thank ya.

Tammy has finally been released from prison. (:35) She now wants to do a "farewell tour" before going back to school and "private life". For her sake and well-being, I sincerely hope it works out this time. Unfortunately experience and history tells me things won't change for the better, not even now. One has to just wait and see I suppose.

Blade continues to confuse himself with the Midnight Rose. Why, it's almost like they're one and the same person.

The Cauldron threatens Blade this time with a Pete Townshend lyric. Blade is definitely one to get fooled again. And again. And again after that.  (:38)

Derek Quinn of the Powerhouse of Sound DJ Service (3), asks about other wrestlers who might provide their own Halloween safety tips. (:39) They think Virgil could work. RD also wants to pay for Tammy to give tips. (That sure sounded wrong.) They also want Ken Patera, what with his experience with being hungry.

Piper reminds you to take (all) your candy back home to your parents before you eat it. (:42)

:46 Before the two can continue to further mess around as is their itinerary, the OG SeanceTrolla activates, "reviving" Nate and his coarse voice to strangle RD in the name of TNA Total Non Stop Action Wrestling. On the other end a sleepy Blade is "woken up" by John Kelly, who has sources. (:50)

Only Johnny 6 is left to do the Haiku (:51) in a rather lower register of voice than usual for some reason. Perhaps he too is sleepy. Further, his theme boops and beeps that bring him in are of somewhat of a low quality this time around, most likely due to the hard work of the SeanceTrolla reviving him into undeath and NOT because RD lost the original version and asked us for a replacement copy.

No, really.

Silver Shamrock:
Ha. Ppy. Hall. O. Ween.
Ha. Ppy. Ha. Ppy. Hall. O. Ween.
Ha. Ppy. Hall. O. Ween.

Piper reminds you to have lots of fun trick-or-treating, and if you have any leftover/bad candy to send to Vince to poison him.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Halloween
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, Drive in Movie Maniacs
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 0.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Blade's Poor Performance Excuse: Sick/tired lately

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Delivery Man, N.E.R.D., CS John Kelly

  • Blade Time Outs:  2
  • Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 3
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
 
  • Question of the Week from: Derek Quinn (3)
    • Since the dearly departed Hot Rod is no longer with us, what wrestling personality would you like to hear Halloween safety tips from? Blade: Virgil.

  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Everyone’s dead. Who will do the haiku?  Johnny!
    Happy Halloween!
    Happy happy Halloween!
    Happy Halloween!
 

WCR Video: Rowdy Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips...AGAIN!

Back in the 1980s on WWFE Television, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper gave a special Public Service Announcement where he provided some safety tips for the "bunches of" kids wanting to go trick or treating on Halloween. (Credit goes to John Gjoni for originally uploading this video on Facebook).



Rowdy Roddy Piper's Halloween Tips (1989) Uploaded by RVM Kai


And ONCE AGAIN, this Halloween, here's the clip of RD and Blade, from Wrestlecrap Radio (episode #081: October 26, 2007), doing commentary on Hot Rod's Halloween Tips:


(Video by J Freek)


Oh, and don't forget to listen to Piper's updated Tips from 2011 (from WCR #201: October 28, 2011):


(Video by R.V.M Kai)

So from Wrestlecrapradio.com, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN, say "Please and Thank Ya"...and watch out for "Idiots In Cars"!

...Oh, and don't forget to check out The Mike Check Show where the past week, the Ghost of Roddy Piper guest stars on Halloween Hootenanny and gets "Rowdy" on some spoiled redneck trick-or-treater.

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

WCR Video: (Nitromaniac TV's) Favorite Wrestlecrap Radio Moments/Episodes!

In a clip from Nitromaniac TV's Youtube video podcast, two of the 12 listeners, Kellen Nitro and Moorhouse sit down to discuss their favorite Wrestlecrap Radio episodes and moments from the longest running episodic podcast.

Note: They do mention at the start of the clip (that was recorded back in June 2018) that Mike Check would be attending Starrcast back in August/September, but there was an explanation earlier in the month on The Mike Check Show on why Mike Check didn't show up.



You can catch the entire podcast from the Nitromaniac TV Wrestling Channel here. And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

276 Controversy Creates Crap: September 5, 2018

"If a picture paints a thousand words..." (-@WrestleCrapRD)
75 minutes

RD & Blade have returned from having fun at Starrcast, all photographically catalogued on RD's Facebook profile, should you or one of my fellow Librarians get around to storing it all for future reference. This involved RD skinning the Gobbledy Gooker for his outfit while Blade wore the "heavy" Oz robe with his "trapezoids". RD thanks Conrad for the success of the show through logistically handling the 140+ guest speakers there. Blade had no idea how he got up there to attend.

RD: "Nothing but the finest for Blade Braxton." (:06)

They also met Jordan Mishkin in person for the first time who was a great help throughout. Blade met Diamond Dan for the first time without having to call his hotline. Remember, that's 317 335 4688. Again, 317 335 HOTT.

While there:

  • Veda Scott helped apply Katie Vick's makeup (:10) much to Rosa Mendez's initial disgust towards a cheerleader mannequin. Mandy Leon liked her hair though. 
  • Simon Gotch was next to them all weekend. Blade caught up with him. (:14) Lanny Poffo was also around for a bit with Jay Lethal. 
  • RD Meet Dave Meltzer for the first time. (:16) Blade met Bryan and Dr. Keith Lipinski. 
  • Botchamania Maffew was a laugh riot.
  • The Ghost of Joey Ryan gravitated to Katie's casket. (:19) Many other folks encountered her both in and out of it including Joel Gertner taking a photo inside it. 
  • Lex Luger is a fan of his hometown Bills and their loose fitting t-shirts (not the "ABC Pro Bowl Team" according to Blade.) (:23) Seeing Katie wheeled around surprised him. 
  • RD was drawn on a Death of WCW related comic book cover. (:26)
  • David Arquette attended the afterparty with other great folks.
  • Just about everyone met was super nice and gracious, as it should be at any convention.

SPEAKING OF Rebel, (:26) she eats Fruity Pebbles for breakfast. While visiting the stand she tried some Peanut Butter and Cocoa. While it smelled good enough for a few other people to gather round and try, it sadly had no taste. Also she does not like soggy cereal or having it with milk.

Upon landing and meeting the Co-Fruitcakes went straight to Walmart and its cereal aisle.

Joel Gertner likes the original unaltered Cocoa Puffs. (:36) These days like Mike Reno before him he prefers the ladies for breakfast. He also went with them to Giordano's for evening pizza. RD: "Does the pizza sound delicious?"

The WC panel (purchase and watch it here) had singing Bill Apter going over a few of his old mag covers. (:41)  Oscar of Men On A Mission vented his anger through a funny rap. Dr D still has a fiery look even now. A segment of Kevin Sullivan was played where he talked about how his one time teleport cannot be replicated because you have to be in the right neighborhood to do it, or something.

Jim was also there for some reason. (:52) He spent his time trying to traverse a maze of people in the parking lot at 1 am. "You can go fuck yourself!" he says randomly, as is his custom.

RD feels he could have done better at the Death of WCW panel (which you can also purchase and watch here). (:55) He was more fascinated (© Mike Check) by his supplemental interaction with Eric Bischoff. This is also included in RD's photo feed.

Their first meeting was in one of the photo ops. areas, with the two situated between Eric and Sean Waltman. Eric was also disgusted by Katie, then had to suffer a low person flow (imagine that) with everyone going to the WC table instead. A break in the action had RD coming over to him, and Blade's photo of it easily showed how already annoyed Bischoff was, even in low resolution.

The panel was the next day (with the aforementioned Sullivan and David Penzer). Bischoff admitted beforehand that he was not a funny person (again, imagine that). The two were on each other right from the start, though RD was the one ultimately succeeding in provoking him. Thankfully their agreeing on a few points and RD reminding him that he wrote that he was an influential and pioneering genius in the business many a time calmed him down. At the end of the panel they shook hands in respect (unlike at the beginning where Eric flipped him off). Blade lamented his limited involvement in all of this.

The true shock was afterwards however. RD, continuing to have no hard feelings, thanked Bischoff for the panel. Bischoff then told RD that he thought Dave Meltzer wrote the book (instead of just a foreword) that he didn't even read in the first place. This was such an absurd revelation that the two just started laughing at the whole thing. This finally helped resolve things between them, enough that they would pose for some more photos. In a more positive light anyway.

And to think that Bischoff wanted to castrate him.

I'm curious to see what the Haiku is all about (after Blade misses his cue):
Labor Day Starrcast.
There's money in the casket.
Katie got around.




$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 2. Rebel, Rebel (2).
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Rebel, Joel Gertner, Jim

  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
 
  • Question of the Week from: N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Pimpin’ mannequins ain’t easy:
    Labor Day Starrcast.
    There's money in the casket.
    Katie got around.
   




"Eric, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

WCR Video: Sit Down For Wrestlecrap!

In late 2010, former WWE CEO Linda McMahon attempted to run for Senator of the U.S. state of Connecticut. She was attacked by politicians on both sides of Politics for WWE’s past business and ethical scandals, as well as their controversial story lines (e.g: the time she kicked Jim Ross in the testicles on TV, having her daughter Stephanie participate in a Satanic wedding, Trish Stratus barking like a dog in her underwear...and we haven't even got to Katie Vick yet?). Linda’s husband and WWE chairman Vince McMahon got ultra-defensive, as usual, and posted this video on WWE.com.

RD Reynolds from wrestlecrap.com thought that Vince McMahon's "Stand Up for WWE" was such a brilliant idea that he filmed his own campaign video for his own website with the slogan "Sit Down For Wrestlecrap"!


(Video Title: "RD Reynolds Addresses the WrestleCrap Universe" by WrestlecrapRD)

Hmm. Come to think of it, this video is kind of relevant right now as RD needs YOU, the twelve listeners, to Stand Up "Sit Down" for him against Eric Bischoff, and his war on Deal's "Death Of WCW Book", at Starrcast's "Death Of WCW Panel" on Saturday, September 1st, 2018. Edit: Oh and speaking of that, here's another two videos uploaded by RD Reynolds advertising the Wrestlecrap Panel and addressing Easy E's threats to Deal's private parts:


"Starrcast WrestleCrap Panel - Last Chance!"


"Eric Bischoff Physically Threatens Death of WCW Author's Private Parts"

...And you know who else needs to "Sit Down"? It's Harry Belafonte, who's song can be heard over on The Mike Check Show! And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

275 At Home With Dr. D: August 28, 2018

When a man tells you to listen to a radio progrem,
you listen to a radio progrem, wo-man!
90 minutes

Special Patreon offer: Become a valued supporter and listen to an extended version of the entire phone call interview right now. Don't delay, or Dr. D will hunt you down. This is not a joke.

RD thinks their Starrcast presence counts as their long awaited for WC Carnival.

We cut to their interview with Dr. D David Schultz already in progress. (:04 - :76) The three have a lot of fun discussing many things of both his wrestling and bounty hunting, throwing bread in his house, and his dream of finally choking out Vince. Get to reading his book if you haven't done so already! (No digital version available at the moment unfortunately.)

Also he doesn't eat any breakfast cereals. He eats heartier stuff instead.

Somehow this radio progrem is 13 years old so RD tries to get to Ken Patera and his swinging full nelson. (:80) He reminds people that the above linked Starrcast pass also has other panels to stream beyond their ones. Also Eric Bischoff has more promos to cut on his podcast for cheques that he can't cash. RD worries what he's getting into.

Blade: "This is a clean show."

Of course, the Haiku. Here's our puberty right now, seventeen syllables:
Thirteen years of Crap.
How should we all celebrate?
Party at Starrcast.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right   
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • 13th Anniversary
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 4. WrestleCrapRadio.com, Starrcast, Fyte TV, EatSleepWrestle.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 0.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 1. Dr. D
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 4. Dr. D, Wo-man, Conrad Thompson, Eric Bischoff

  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
 
  • Question of the Week from: N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: The boys and the 17 syllables hit puberty?
    Thirteen years of Crap.
    How should we all celebrate?
    Party at Starrcast.

WCR Videos: RD's Wrestlecrap / Death Of WCW Panel At Starrcast Promos

Back in May (2018), Former WCW President, Eric Bischoff, gave an unflattering opinion of RD Reynolds and Bryan Alvarez and their "The Death Of WCW" book on his "83 Weeks" podcast (The episode dealt with the infamous "Finger Poke of Doom", where on the post Starrcade 1998 edition of WCW Monday Nitro, Kevin Nash laid down for Hulk Hogan after a simple zap from his finger to lose the WCW World Title) after his co-host, Conrad Thompson, (also the co-host of the popular podcasts "Something To Wrestle With" with Bruce Prichard and "What Happened When" with Tony Schiavone) used the book as a reference point.

RD and Blade later played excerpts of Easy E's quotes on Wrestlecrap Radio to give their own retort (on episode #273). In one excerpt, Conrad manages to persuade Eric to go to Starrcast, by "All-In" in Chicago (on Saturday September 1st), where a "Death Of WCW" Panel will be held, which prompts RD to announce that he too will be there to debate him and defend his book (and will bring Blade as backup) among other featured guests Kevin Sullivan and JJ Dillon.

RD also uploaded a YouTube video to also announce that he will be holding a Wrestlecrap Panel (on the Friday before) with guests: Oscar from Men On A Mission, Dr D. David Schulz and former WCW World Champion...David Arquette. And then later uploaded another two videos in response to Bischoff's further tirades against him.







...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

WCR Video: Interactive: WCR In Cincinnati

RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton, on episode #133 (2009) of Wrestlecrap Radio, did their brand of commentary on the theme to "WKRP In Cincinnati"...but that's not all! They then also YouTubed the follow up: "The NEW WKRP In Cincinnati" Theme.


(Credits: Opening portion of the video was created by LannysPermJuice. The Interactive portion was created by FSinWCR. Edited and re-uploaded by R.V.M Kai.)

Want more?! You can hear the "WKRP In Cincinnati Main Theme" by Steve Carlisle in full over on The Mike Check Show! And you can also hear Mike going off on a tangent as he retells his story of working the Cincinnati, Ohio market on WEBN: "Spider 103" (from WCR #142), where he failed his stint as a voice actor on the radio version of another 80's sit com: Mr. Belvedere.

...Fascinating.

...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

Blade's "Big Announcement" finally revealled?

For years we have been wondering one thing. What the hell is Blade's "Big Announcement"?

Ever since Episode 88 Blade always says that he has a "Big Announcement" to say but he'll say it later. It has been a running joke on Wrestlecrap Radio for YEARS! Some say that Blade's "Big announcement" can be ranked up to the legends of "Does The Loch Ness Monster Exist?", or "Who was driving that white Hummer?", or even "Will The Chicago Cubs win the World Series?" Okay I know one of those happened but according to Blade this may be his "Big Announcement":

Blade Braxton: "Nine years ago, I filled in for a wrestler who no-showed while wearing the hokiest mask imaginable in front of a crowd of maybe 100 people. Flash forward to today, a near decade of mileage, injuries and a flower masked lifetime later. We finally were able to announce that our show, Drive-In Movie Maniacs, will be syndicated nationwide on Retro TV. Alongside the show's creator Terrible Tim, the Midnight Rose will be in full bloom every week in 68 MILLION households in the United States, providing some old-school horror movie madness to the masses!
No matter what your "gimmick" in life may be, never stop. Never yield. Never give a fuck if it's not the "norm." Pimp yourself out and shove that motherfucker in as many faces until they finally "get it."
Man, it was a good day today..."


Also on the same day Blade also mentioned that "Drive-In Movie Maniacs" would also appear on "The Action Network" as well.

So we here at wrestlecrapradio.com would want to congratulate Blade on torturing the world as a Syndicated TV Star now. Also Blade now that your a star also...You do know that money is owed to us right? Our Boss and Ruler Premier_Blah has been keeping track of how much money has been owed and its currently at $50.99 ($31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right).

Over on "The Mike Check Show" Mike's in the middle pof playing artists that previously played at the "Vans WARPED Tour" since this is the last year that the Warped Tour will ever be in existence and he's playing "Optimist" by P.O.S

274 Becky Across America: June 23, 2018

74 minutes
Does not come with crown as un-illustrated. 


WWE has a $2 billion TV deal. Blade responds by yawning, as he's multi-tasking recording while at work. He has another Big Announcement to delay. RD bets he will time-out 37 times today.

Popeye fills in for Lord Alfred this time to shill this very website that is tattooed on his torso. (:05) That's odd. I thought it would have been Nintendo John doing it this time - I mean, well blow me...

...

...

...

down.

Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.

Then he leaves to get Olive Oyl some flowers. Blade wonders too late about his spinach-related strength before attempting to make a bad pun.

RD shills Patreon (note to self: Put a link to Patreon on this page somewhere), their site, and the upcoming Starrcast appearance with Men On A Mission's Oscar. Blade yawns some more.

RD was back in Holland due to his other boring job. (:17) This time he visited the Efteling or Elf-land amusement park, which is politically incorrect American style as it has a cool sounding "cannibal" ride. Blade misremembers someone nicknamed as "Dutch Oven" instead of a "Flexing Dutchman". While there RD bought some Lay's Grills chips which smells like Snausages and are mystery meat flavored. RD judges from the name that they should be "the world's blandest barbecue". He also had his wife get him some Jaws Popsicles from South Korea. Sadly he doesn't eat some here.

Ryback is renting out his Las Vegas townhouse. (:27) RD reads a description of it including an inspirational sign positioned strategically in the bathroom. He wants to see Terri Runnels at Starrcast to ask her about her house.

David Arquette participated in a wrestling training session which included leapfrogs. (:32) Blade tries comparing it to his battering ram move. He wants the Rose and Mr. Fitness to fight him and RD.

Someone tried to poop attack a WWE training facility three years ago according to a TMZ report, so B.M. Punk calls in from Ryback's bathroom. (:36)  "I should probably eat a Hall's throat Laura - thing. ... I haven't done a promo in a while. Can't even say lozenge. Is that how you say it?" This makes RD laugh (for once). He dreams of someday creating an Ultimate Feces Championship. Blade cough laughs afterwards.

Tammy's parole hearing was postponed until September so she'll still be residing in jail until then. RD: "I don't think she'll be doing Tam Time." (:42)

Today's Question comes from Patreon instead of Facebook, from a requesting post made one (1) month ago (May 28) that was answered to by all of four (4) people. (:44) Grayson Little is the chosen one this time, asking why Primo and Epico weren't made as the fragrance-gimmick tag team the Colognes.

:46 Toys"R"Us still has a surplus of Becky Lynch dolls to deal with, including 400 at a branch nearby RD as seen at the top. (:46) This does not include Eve Marie dolls which are also available and also look like Lynches. RD wants to buy them all in bulk, then mail them to her once a week by "Mr. X". He then asks the Listeners to also spam her with dolls in an attempt to win an appearance on the progrem.
(Update on the Becky Lynch dolls from Deal's Twitter accunt: "Follow up on Becky Lynch Dolls Across America! Went to TRU tonight, the one that had the 400 Becky dolls. Wanted to get 2 for me & @BladeBraxton as a memento for this week's episode. THEY WERE ALL GONE!!!!!! I credit WrestleCrap Radio's call to action!!" --Raging_Demons)

Instead of further talking about WWE as originally in their itinerary, the two discuss more about the dolls. (:58 - :69) Blade wants to do stop-motion animation with them, or link their hands across the country or as a border (doll) wall. RD wants to make them as a championship belt, or thrown during her matches, or distributed only to the Listeners as "The Lynch Mob".

John Cena doesn't want a vasectomy anymore. Someone should get him a Becky Lynch doll instead.

Seventeen Syllables:
John's vasectomy.
You can't see me in ring. In
bed you can't semen.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right  
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, WrestleCrapRadio.com
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. I don’t even know what.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Popeye, BM Punk

  • Blade Burps: 2
  • Blade Time Outs:  9 (2 Real Quick)
  • RD Time Outs:  7
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  1
  • Krankor Laughs:  2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  2
  • Weird Al laughs:  1
  • Cricket Chirps: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 2
 
  • Question of the Week from: Grayson Little
    • Why didnt WWE make Primo and Epico the Colognes, a team of wrestlers who love fragrances? RD quickly moves on when Blade gives a Colon alternative. 
 
  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  3 things to do with overproduced Becky Lynch dolls.
    • RD:  Hoard them, make them into a title belt.
    • Blade:  Build wall at the USA-Mexico border, Becky Lynch Dolls Across America, Rankin-Bass animated feature film.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Cena snip snip:
    John's vasectomy.
    You can't see me in ring. In
    bed you can't semen.

WCR Video: Guile's Theme Goes With Don Mason

There was an Internet meme that started in 2007 that involved people posting video clips with Guile's 8-bit theme from the early 1990's "Street Fighter" games, in the background. Well, now here on WCR Videos, you can see if "Guile's Theme" goes with Don...Don Mason (created by one of the 12 listeners LannysPermJuice)!



And speaking of video game parodies, Lanny also created this WCR parody based on the 2008 "Bionic Commando Rearmed" video game:


(Video Title: "Braxtonic Commando" by LannysPermJuice)

...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

WCR Video: Interactive: The Karate Crap

Since The Mike Check Show is playing 2007 song "Sweep The Leg" and then a few rarities from the Karate Kid film franchise (as well as songs from the new YouTube red series "Cobra Kai"), here's RD and Blade doing commentary on one of the songs from the first "Karate Kid" film's soundtrack; "The Moment of Truth" from Wrestlecrap Radio episode #158 in 2009:


(Video by FSinWCR)

And be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

273 Heel-Off: May 13, 2018

 

 27 minutes
The face of a man who thinks Hogan beating
Sting after a year of build-up was a good idea

Kai has also written something about this. Give it a look too won't you?

Blade is outside on a live remote getting heatstroke "like a lobster in a way." RD would eat some lobster if it would improve his spirits, especially if Sting delivered it to him, preferably while attached to a helicopter.

Blade: "I write the itineraries. Sometimes."

The cause of this impromptu recording is THIS MAN: former wrestling bigwig Eric Bischoff (or Bitchoff as the Honky Tonk non-Mail-Man likes to call him). He has own podcast now you see. (:04) All you need to know about it and him is that it's called 83 Weeks, referring to the time period where Nitro beat Raw in the ratings...over 21 years ago. If it were a living person it would be old enough to drink, probably to forget about Thunder.

It's only the second episode (of his show, not WWCR, although it feels like that sometimes) and we learn that Eric has a sudden grudge against RD. An except (:07 - :11) has his co-host Conrad Thompson read to him one (1) passage from The Death Of WCW about how bad the once red-hot WCW ended up becoming under his watch, on its way to losing $15 million in 1999. Speaking in phone-buzzing echoing fidelity Eric rambled against RD and Bryan Alvarez about how the "clowns" didn't interview him for the book (despite not actually responding to their original questions) and misread his actual financial standing, and that he won't sign "a book he didn't write" ( to quote RD who has his own heel promo against him).

Fig.1: Eric Bischoff's actual financial standing in action
RD thinks Eric has more of an issue of his unflattering image on the original cover as seen at the top of this here post. This is despite other original cover guys Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Vince Russo not minding signings, and two of those three remain happily and healthily active in WWE and elsewhere (unlike Eric). RD also reminds that he also wrote in the book that Eric was a pioneering genius who's early success with Nitro should be studied and emulated, and helped bring professional wrestling into the 21st century (:14). This was kept in the reprint even after he was kicked out of TNA.

In another podcast excerpt (:15 - :17) co-host Conrad manages to persuade Eric to go to Starrcast by All-In in Chicago in September to continue to passionately flail and fail in person about how in fact, WCW's downfall was actually a good thing, or something.

Why is he intently reading
the dust jacket?
RD announces that he too will be there to face him, he will bring Blade as backup, and among other featured guests Kevin Sullivan and JJ Dillon will be there (perhaps as judges). Blade brings back the idea of holding the WWCR Carnival (:21) and perhaps after they are done with that they can join in the Roast of Bruce Prichard as well. (Coincidentally Hall and Nash will also be there as featured guests. Also coincidentally Russo will not.)

Additionally, in regard's to Eric's attempts to continue being a rabble-rousing tough guy heel persona (admittedly still far too widespread and outdated in the profession outside of the ring and active working as a whole) in a bid to remain relevant and not left behind as the industry changes, they just seem somewhat embarrassing, and this is during a time where such bluster is accepted and even sometimes rewarded. His now white hair belies his older years of no longer being a leader on the air as he was before let alone being a persona non grata in WWE, his long time rival even now. Before in the so called "good old days" he could make out with middle-aged housewives just because he could. Now they are the only legible people in his current dating pool (if such a thing is applicable) without paying upfront first.

(Let us hope he uses protection though even now. We don't want another Garrett Bischoff running around now, do we?)

Present Day Eric Bischoff
Seventeen Syllables:
Bischoff hates the Crap.
"I'm tired of hearing a-
bout Eric Bischoff!!!"



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 

 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. The Death of WCW, Starrcade, Diamond Dan Hot Line
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 0.
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs:  1. Conrad Thompson 

 

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Conrad Thompson, Eric Bischoff

  • Blade Time Outs:  1
  • Krankor Laughs:  1
 
  • Question of the Week from: N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Blade's sick of hearing about Easy E:
    Bischoff hates the Crap.
    "I'm tired of hearing a-
    bout Eric Bischoff!!!"

WCR Video: Cartoon: "I'm Tired Of Hearing About Eric Bischoff!"

In the first "Breaking News" edition of Wrestlecrap Radio (#273) in half a decade (discounting that time two years ago when Matt Hardy threw a baby at Brother Nero Jeff), RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton play clips from the 2nd episode of Former WCW President Eric Bischoff's new podcast "83 Weeks" (which dealt with the infamous "Finger Poke of Doom", where on the post Starrcade 1998 edition of WCW Monday Nitro, Kevin Nash laid down for Hulk Hogan after a simple zap from his finger to lose the WCW World Title). The clips involved Eric's co-host Conrad Thompson (also the co-host of the popular podcasts "Something To Wrestle With" with Bruce Prichard and "What Happened When" with Tony Schiavone) using RD and Bryan Alvarez's "The Death Of WCW" book as a reference, and Eric refusing to give the book any credibility and calling the authors, quote: "Clowns", unquote (we actually prefer the term "Fruitcakes", but whatever?).

Oh Wait? The Video? Well, this progrem reminded me of an old cartoon I made using GoAnimate.com featuring "a very loosely based" account of Blade's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend throwing a fit about the very person mentioned in this topic:


(By RVM Kai)

...Fascinating?

And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives, and for more WCR cartoons, click here! And go to "The Mike Check Show" to hear Eric's WCW theme...which is just an instrumental ripped off from the film Desperado, here.

The Mike Check Show Conquers The Martians: 7 YEARS OF WHACKIN'! (April 2018)

*(NOTE: For more MIKE CHECK SHOW Anniversary specials, click here)


This was "The Mike Check Show's" 7th Anniversary special, in April 2018, where Mike Check celebrated it on Mars....NO...Actually Mike was abducted by Martians and forced to spin the hits exclusively over on the red planet (...although the show was simulcast on Earth anyway, so whatever?).

So why did this happen? Well, in 2016, Mike played the Slim Whitman song from the film "Mars Attacks" in an attempt to kill "Zombie" Nathaniel at the end of that years' "Halloween Hootenanny". One year later, at the conclusion of "Halloween Hootenanny 2017" it was revealed that the song had also coincidentally killed off an evil Race of Martians. So the "good" Martians show their gratitude in Mike Check 'inadvertently' helping them win "The Great Martian War" by saving him and his daughter from STAN: The Evil Troll Lord and his son Damien from wreaking Havoc and imprison them in "The Phantom Zone" (similar to "Superman II"). They and also found Mike's music "fascinating" (as ole Mike would say) as it was a brand new concept for them. The Martians also promise to return in 5 months time but give no reason as to why? Doc Brown (from "Back To The Future") later arrives and warns Mike and his daughter of a future Martian newspaper headline that leads them to believe that The Martians may possibly want to invade or destroy the Earth on their return, for some odd reason?

During February 2018's "Love On The Ropes Month", the Martians make another appearance as they request a week of love songs from Mike, in which they found (again) "fascinating" and make the decision to return to Earth...but every time their "true intentions" for doing so is about to be mentioned, there is a break down in their communication signal. So during March, Mike still thinks that the Martians want to invade and tries to appease them by playing some "Flying Saucer" novelty song records. This eventually leads The leader of Mars, Kimar, to arrive to Earth on the 1st day of Mike's "7 YEARS OF WHACKIN'!". But even though he reveals that he comes "in peace", he also "abducts" Mike and brings him to Mars to be their deejay and to play the hits "that play well in their Market" (similar to the plot of the 1964 film "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians")...not just for Mike's Anniversary, but for the rest of his life!

(*Spoilers*) So during April 2018 (or whatever month/year it is on the planet Mars?) Kimar forces Mike to work "The Mike Check Show" in the Martian market and provides him some co-hosts; Checkdar, Jimdar and Gaiedar (the last two seem awfully similar to a couple of Wrestlecrap Radio Characters) until the show grinds to a halt as Mike has an "encounter" with Jimdar's wife that lands him back in 'The Slammer'. Mike is sentenced for execution but the whole proceedings are interrupted by the return of STAN and Damien when their "Phantom Zone" crash lands and shatters on Mars, thus freeing them. STAN plans to take over Mars, and later the Earth, but will his plans for "Universal Domination" be spoiled by the arrival of Doc Brown and..."The Crapvengers"...you'll have to click on the following links to find out?

Prologue 1:  Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Craft by The Carpenters
Prologue 2: Last Day On Earth by Duran Duran
  1. I Saw The Light by Hank Williams / Martian Theme Song by The Satellite Singers
  2. The Little Martian by Jan Amber
  3. First Man On Mars by Jackie Fautheree
  4. Transmitting Live From Mars by De La Soul / Knocked Out Joint On Mars by Buck Trail
  5. Martian Hop by The Ran-Dells
  6. Satellite of Love by Lou Reed
  7. Rock-It On Mars by Terry Dunavan
  8. The Boppin’ Martian by Dick Robinson
  9. Enigma by Tim Souster
  10. Scatman (Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop) by Scatman John
  11. Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65
  12. Supersonic Electronic by Zlad!
  13. Planet Claire by B-52’s
  14. The Little Space Girl by Jesse Lee Turner
  15. Loving The Alien by David Bowie
  16. It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green by Kermit T. Frog
  17. Illegal Alien by Genesis
  18. Countdown by Rush
  19. Space Junk by Devo
  20. King of Mars by Monster Magnet
  21. Mean Green Mother From Outer Space by Levi Stubbs
  22. Green Eggs And Ham by Seussical Original Broadway Cast / Space Invaders by Player One
  23. Intergalactic by Beastie Boys
  24. Mars Attacks by Misfits
  25. Rapture by Blondie
  26. Supersonic Rocket Ship by The Kinks
  27. Spaceballs by The Spinners
  28. Rocking Around The Christmas Tree by Jillian Hall / Pump Up The Volume by MARRS
  29. Space Cowboy by Steve Miller Band
  30. Antenna Head by ZZ Top / I Got A Rocket In My Pocket by Jimmy Lloyd
Epilogue: Back To Earth by Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard / Men In Black by Will Smith

(Note: For all songs that feature Martian related references on The Mike Check Show, click here)

WCR Video: Cartoon: Blade Braxton's Alien Ham Story

And here's one more Don...Don mason related YouTube video which takes Blade Braxton's "Alien Ham" Story and puts it into cartoon form (created by LannysPermJuice using GoAnimate.com).

And for those who don't know about the "Alien Ham" story, which was first told on Wrestlecrap Radio episode #15, here's an excerpt from the Wrestlecrap Radio Glossary, as written by wrestlecrapradio.com's own Raging_Demons:

"A story from Blade when he and Don...Don Mason were so drunk that Blade found a piece of ham that looked like the Alien from the "Alien" movies so he hid it under his bed. The next few days afterward his room was smelling pretty awful as if something had died in the room, so Blade cleaned his room up to find that piece of ham now rotting & smelling pretty rancid."



...Fascinating.

And speaking of Aliens, if you haven't been tuning in to The Mike Check Show's 7th Anniversary special, you would have missed Mike being abducted by Martians and being forced to host his radio progrem from Mars...although now it seems that STAN: The Evil Troll Lord has taken the Martians and ole Mike prisoner and...we have also learned that STAN (I am) does not Like "Green Eggs and (Alien) Ham" on...THE MACKER?! ...Fascinating?

And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives, and for more WCR cartoons, click here!

(272) Mr. Braxton's Neighborhood: April 1, 2018

32 minutes

Coincidentally today's episode is also sponsored by Snickers.
In which Jim is amenable for a change, Sir Alec is out without his music or audience, Mike Check has a proper honest living, Popeye is blown down by a cucumber, Dixie Carter runs the cashier better than she does a company, the Honky Tonk Mailman delivers an Apter mag off podcast, (Sir) Stubby has more wood than paper, RD voices an alley cat, then shills his arcade as Jeff Foxworthy if possible, Nintendo John is NOT summoned despite referencing a Virtual Boy, and all the while (Mr.) Blade Rogers Braxton attempts to stifle his laughter.

I look forward to him being the next TNA correspondent once somebody photoshops Blade's head onto that infamous picture of Rogers inadvertently giving the finger (while counting).
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Patreon, PBS Viewers Like You
 
  • Guest Stars: 8. Featuring “Happy” Jim Ross as the butcher, Sir Alec Heineken, Mike Check as the store manager, Popeye as a fellow shopper, Dixie Carter as a grocery store clerk, Stubby as Sir Stubby Fairchild, RD Reynolds as Henrietta Alley Cat, and RD Reynolds (2) as the Arcade Repairman.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: No haiku this week, but Mr. Braxton sang to the viewers about needs and wants.

WCR Video: The "Lost Episode"

RD Reynolds shocks Blade Braxton, on the April Fools 2008 episode of Wrestlecrap Radio (#98), when he revealed the long last tape of the "actual first ever" episode of Wrestlecrap Radio from 1988.


(Video Title: "WCR Reconstructions: Introducing The "Lost Episode" (04.01.08)" by Greg Diener

And here's the "minisode" version of the same episode:


...And also be sure to visit here for the WCR Video archives!

And speaking of "lost" Mike Check is supposed to be celebrating his "7 Years Of Whackin'" Anniversary month over on The Mike Check Show but it seems that Mike is "lost in space" and...WAIT...This news just in: Mike Check has been abducted by Martians...and...does this mean that there's no more Mike Check Show?...No...He's going to be doing the show from Mars?...But how...? Does this count as parole violation?...I don't care! The Martians can keep him!

271 Marcho Madness: March 26, 2018

Uh Oh!

91 minutes

RD and Blade do not like basketball much. This definitely has nothing to do with their hometown teams sucking. (Or in RD's case following multiple bad teams at once.) Blade brought it up however as an excuse to portray "Marcho Madness" if he were an old western prospector (and possibly owning a mine called The Danger Zone. Motto: "Can you (be able to) dig it?"). RD remembers when Mark Jindrak was an evil basketball player in WCW, though he's missing recordings of it. At least they also have Shaq's surprise WrestleMania appearance, Dennis Rodman in the nWo, and Stan "Kronkie" pissing off old man Vince.

This month it's Patrick Stewart's turn to promotional considerate with the all new Pontiac Montana Del Fantasma with "all new air filters!" (:06)

RD's latest writing, this week of hat wearing ECW Champion Vince McMahon was an excuse for him to post an image of Kristal Marshall. (:10) Blade randomly remembered when she doused herself in blue paint during the Diva Search, then blames others for driving him to drink.

RD took a TRIP to Jungle Jim's (International Market), causing Blade to interrupt him with laughter. (:13) There he bought a (glass) bottle of root beer from Chowning's Tavern, which when taste tested is pungent and tastes like unwanted root beer bubblegum.

Sad News: One time while touring Blade found Bart's Root Beer with no caffeine in it. Sadder News: According to RD's investigative Googling he learns he actually took a sugar free (and caffeine free) one instead. (:20)

Obscure Nestlé News: RD found the connection between the corporation name and their nest logo. Wait till he finds out about Nescafé and Nespresso! (:23) Blade has some "serious business" to complete and wants to auction off some deep frozen Universal Studios crunch bars he found in his folks' fridge 20 years ago.

65 year old Ricky Steamboat whom Blade respected as a child defeated "The Duke" (:27) The two wonder which Duke it was. My money is on Edmund.

Aspiring necromancer Eric Sims wants to bring Doink back, initially confusing RD. Blade has to clarify, further confusing RD. (:31)

Tammy's back in the slammy again. (That sounded better in my head.) (:34) Things have gotten so bad the duo initially think she was jailed for an earlier offense.

Despite putting them in the itinerary and having their MIDI music played, Blade's friend Cory Udler is unable to make the time as Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley to report on TNA news, of which I can't blame him. (:38) Thus RD instead calls up a Patreon patron by the name of Sean Stein to do so instead. One of the rewards of being a $50 tier WC sponsor is "a one-time guest shot on WrestleCrap Radio", so he appears on what Blade randomly calls "The Stein Line" (Blade reveals he's still stuck on "TV Guide time" where each day starts at 5 am).

Sean tried watching TNA once and found himself stuck watching looping advertising promos for an older and no longer running show. No comment. He went to their YouTube page where a recent upload is for "Christian Cage Theme Song and Entrance Video (2006)". No comment. The trio wonder how similar it is to his old WWE theme, fitting in to TNA's music guy literally phoning it in by making more rip-off themes than Jimmy Hart.

RD: "Keep your Johnson where it is."

Sean is gracious as RD keeps his number in his little black book for future use.

Robert Sternburg asks about Gorilla Monsoon's toilet technique and the Co-Fruitcakes miss the obvious joke about him being in the Gorilla Position to do so in. (:54) Blade prefers his toilet paper to be sturdy. "I don't want to be the Jim Morrison of wiping, right?" he reasons.

Blade wants to hire out (Hungry Hungry) Ken Patera to swing children around in full nelsons. (:57) RD thinks that should be part of the auction. Blade remembers a magazine wondering if Patera would wrestle Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania IV. Also he recently hung out with Frank From LA.

Goldberg will NOT be inducted into the marketing gimmick Hall Of Fame by Braun the Leprechaun or by my guess of Eric Bischoff, but by Paul Heyman. But of course. (:66) Blade is angered into confusion by this. RD remembers when Bobby Heenan was inducted by Blackjack John Lanza and he absolutely hated it.

RD: "Like we know what we are talking about."

The two wonder who should be celebrity inducted into the Hall Of Fame instead. This is not a repeat from last month when they also did this. (:71)

Blade: "I like to come behind you."

RD wants Burt Reynolds with himself inducting him of course, with his actual Smokey and the Bandit theme (confusing Blade again as it is not Jerry Reed's Eastbound and Down); Herb by Clara Peller or the currently reigning Burger King; and Elvira by Jesse Ventura.

Blade wants Bill Fralic by Stone Cold Austin; Cyndi Lauper by Dave Wolff (since Roddy Piper is no longer with us); and Susan St. James by Mike Adamle. The two wonder how little St. James has been on the radio progrem, as well as Lauper playing nearby Blade opening for Rod Stewart, RD going to see Weird Al perform soon, and Blade having gone to around 20 Misfits concerts. All very...fascinating stuff, no?

Seventeen More Syllables (RD: "Mike Check would be proud"):
Kid Rock Hall Of Fame.
Bob with the bob the bang to
Bang shitty (shitty).



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right


...Uh Oh! 
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Patreon, wrestlecrapradio.com, eBay, Dinosaur Dracula, Day of the Dead
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 5. Overstaying the welcome, obscure Nestle news, obscure wrestling news, trouble, concerts
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Stewart Patrick, Sean Stein

  • Blade Time Outs:  5
  • RD Time Outs:  1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  • Krankor Laughs: 
  • Weird Al Laughs:  1
  • Mama’s Broken Damn Damn Damn Dishes:  2
  • Cricket Chirps:  3
  • WrestleCrap Gongs:  2
  • RD False Finishes:  1
  • Susan St. James Uh Ohs:  4
  • George!:  4
 
  • Question of the Week from: Robert Sternburg
    • Do you think Gorilla Monsoon used the bunch method or the folding method when wiping?  I’m a big bunch method guy because I’m scared my fingers will break through the toilet tissue.  Thoughts? Blade: Quad ply or bust for me.
 
  • WrestleCrap 3 Count:  :  3 celebrities you’d like to see in the WWE Hall of Fame.
    • RD:  Burt Reynolds, Herb From Burger King, Elvira.
    • Blade:  Susan St. James, Cyndi Lauper, Bill Fralic.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Apparently, Kid Rock isn’t worthy of induction:
    Kid Rock Hall Of Fame.
    Bob with the bob the bang to
    Bang shitty (shitty).