Episode 24: That ChampionCrap Season: December 31, 2013

Hey! Hey! Hey! Merry..."Lick"mas Blade?
52 minutes

RD & Blade celebrate Christmas a week late.

Someone compared RD to Lumpy from that Star Wars Holiday Special. Blade still can't get over Peter Mayhew kissing another man.

According to Blade Don has shrunk 3 inches. (:04)

The Fruitcakes discuss Ludvig Borga cameoing in a WWE pinball machine. (:07)

Blade wonders about their IMDB pages. Apparently he still does not know how Google works.

RD considers selling his blood online. (:11)

The new show is a year old. The Detroit Lions fired their head coach. These two are totally coincidental according to Blade. (:14) He thinks of the radio progrem as his team, with 2012 going 0-16. I would say more 0-0 as they were essentially locked out that year. Blade wants to look for a 'coach' (:19). In other words, he wants to recreate the Co-Hosss Contest. When will he learn? He will accept submissions that he can't be bothered to read.

RD is fishing for discussion topics on his Facebook page. (:22) WWE is so bad Blade has been rewatching GLOW. RD enjoys watching Solomon Grundy on TV.

Blade fondly re-remembers Heel Mean Gene. (:29)

Old School Raw always has the same people on it. Like any regular episode of Raw, except even slower.

Blade: "I'm living in the past, the present, and the future."

:37 The two had exchanged presents with each other.

Blade has sent RD a Beta of Stroker Ace and a Walt Disney World VHS from '1996'.

RD has sent Blade his last Original Archive disc and a Mickie James Christmas Ornament. He licks it.

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #204: Ding Dong Angrily on High

Relive Angry Jim, dressed as Santa, attempting to collect donations outside the Dollar General with this WCR Minisode flashback:



(Video by wcrminisodes)

Merry Chritmas from Wrestlecrapradio.com...

...and be sure to visit here for the archives (or for more "minisodes" go here.)

Angry Jim's Mailbag #10: Merry Retirement, Angry Jim! (December 19, 2013)

(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by former wrestling announcer Jim Ross & is NOT intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). "Angry Jim" is a very loosely based parody based on the character once heard on Wrestlecrap Radio.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer: All views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do NOT reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com. But we do appreciate that, despite Jim being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself.)


How ya doin' tonight nerds?!

For any of you marks out there who haven't realized by now, I have retired from WWE. Let me emphasize to you nerds that I RETIRED I was NOT FIRED! Because all I've been reading on that Internet is bull**** spread by Dave Meltzer that I was pushed out the door for not controlling a drunk Ric Flair at the 2K Sports discussion panel. That hack has been spreading lies about me since he claimed that my BBQ sauce had salmonella poisoning! Then some marks on Twitter claimed that I was even drunk & then was fired by Vince because I told him to go **** himself! Firstly, just because I happened to be sitting next to Flair & a bottle of whiskey it doesn't mean I was drunk! Secondly, If Vince fired my *** for telling him to **** himself I would have been unemployed years ago (except for that time that jack*** fired me for my Palsy!) No! I retired because I'm just tired...of Vince ringing me a 4:30 in the morning & yelling at me over the phone to bring him a **** cup of coffee! Now he can shove that coffee up his ***!

Also because of this announcement, those two f*** cakes RD & Blade finally let me be on their show after not taking my calls for months! I talked about setting up my Amazon wishlist to make it easy for you nerds to buy your pal Angry Jim a retirement gift! Actually what I'm gonna do is re-wrap & re-gift them so I can keep my **** wife's ***** relatives happy for Christmas (you didn't actually think that the bong was for me, did ya?!)! Then Blade then even butchered a Kenny Rogers classic in tribute to me which s**ks ****** ****! Go **** yourselves!



Juan Seena asks : Is your fireworks stand still running? Did you have to fire Hollywood Jim Tatum because you not making money anymore?

Didn't you read my last mailbag you *****! I wrote that that **** idiot Hollywood John blew all the whole **** up! I told that ***** to hide the fireworks in the shed from the cops, who have been snooping around my place ever since I started selling that stuff! It was dark, so the he lit a match that set off the fire crackers & blew up my whole shed! The **** cops then arrested me, after they called the fire department, for selling illegal Mexican fireworks! That's bul****! But lucky for me, I was let off since the evidence went up in smoke, literally! And no! I'm not firing Hollywood John! I'm making that ***** work overtime to repay me for my shed!

And I'm still gonna make money because JR's BBQ is starting another venture & going into the "APP" business! With this thing, you can go on your phone & watch videos where I demonstrate "how to beat your meat" properly & "which sauce goes with which rub"! To download this thing you have to scan this square inkblot test thing (which for some reason looks like Johnny Age touching my wife's ***!)!



Hal O'Ween asks: Did you reopen the UWF Haunted House this year?

No, this year I built a WCW Chamber of Horrors, complete with a BBQ powered electric chair & Abdullah The butcher pretending to fry himself! I also got everyone I could who wasn't dead or would actually return my phone calls! I had Hollywood John dressed as The Shockmaster & Bill Watts there as Dracula! And since Sting couldn't make it, I had Barry Windham there dressed as Sting! I also invited Ric Flair, as The Black Scorpion, to do magic tricks for the kids. Unfortunately Ric was was drunk & the only trick he said wanted to perform was "Hide the Sausage"...on my wife! The police had to shut the place down after that **** Jim Herd came over to deliver some pizzas & got into a fight with Bill Watts (who almost "broke him in half"!) They also arrested Flair for indecent exposure, since he was strutting around with nothing but a mask on by that **** point!



Mike Rotch asks: Two part question: What did you do to the Queen when you were in England recently? And what would it take for you to be happy, F' your wife? 

I was invited to *uckingham Palace to perform my one man show & they kicked me out for singing "God save the Queen"...but I didn't know that they didn't mean the Sex Pistol's song?! Even that Prince Phillip ****head took offense that I wanted to put some of my "Dry Rub" on his "Spotted Dick! Don't they know that you can't put that **** in your mouth without rubbing it first!

And what it would take me to be "happy" at this stage would be for; Dark Journey to **** me because there would be a larger chance of that fantasy happening than my wife ever wanting to **** anymore!? Or I don't know; maybe if you nerds actually bought a year supply of my BBQ sauce from me for Christmas, I might try to manage a smile?! Or you can go **** yourself! How 'bout that?!



"Zombie" Nathaniel asks: Mmmmm....BRAINS! Angry Jim, It's "Zombie" Nathaniel Edward Rodham Davis here...BRAINS!...& I wanted to know if...BRAINS!...if you're going to buy...BRAINS!...TNA: Total Non Stop Action from Dixie Carter...BRAINS!? The greatest Wrestling Company in the world!...BRAINS!

I don't know how you nerds start these d**n rumors?! I'm not buying TNA! All I said was that I wanted to buy a magazine featuring Dark Journey's T & A! But there are these rumors all over that Internet that this Billy Corgan guy is gonna but the company?! What would a **** musician know about running a rasslin' company? The only musicians Dixie should hire are Billy Gibbons & Dusty Hill from "ZZ Top" because their beards have more rasslin' knowledge than that ***** Dixie does!

And why do you keep mentioning brains!? You think you nerds are smarter than me?! go **** yourself!



Tex Dallas asks: How about I buy you some of this beer for Christmas Jim? It's better than your sauce which comes with a lot of health code violations when served.

Keep that ****! Who ever came up with that idea for p*** water can go **** themselves! And the only violation I'll serve is after I kick your *** & walk it dry! Boomer Sooner!


P.S. You know what else you can shove it up your a**?! This Mailbag! I'm now officially retired! Go **** yourselves!

[JIIIIM! ...no wait! Before you go there's one more letter for you... –RVM Kai]


Santa Claus asks: Ho Ho Ho! It's Santa Claus here bringing you some Yuletide cheer Jim! And I know why you are so angry & I blame myself. Many people think that your anger started from the time that your wife stopped having...er..."relations" with you five years ago (although it might be partly to blame; the reason why Santa's is so Jolly all year is thanks to Mrs Claus always being quite the "reindeer in the sack", if you know what I mean?). No, I think your anger all started from a mishap back on Christmas Eve 1960. When I was flying past Oklahoma that night, there was this small tornado that hit my sleigh which mixed up the presents. So instead of getting that toy BBQ set, complete with wooden smores, that you wanted, you ended up with someone else's skateboard under your Christmas Tree. You also unfortunately slipped over that skate board, because it was wet from the storm, & you landed on your face. Well Jim, I felt bad about this & wanted to make up for it...but unfortunately you were on the naughty list that following year, so I never did.

Anyway, since I have heard that you have retired & gone through so many mishaps in your life, I thought that it was time to finally give you the present that you always wanted. So on your back porch (I couldn't go down your chimney since it's surrounded by barbed wire to keep someone you call "Johnny Age (?)" away). I have left you your toy BBQ Set & another surprise that you will enjoy. So have a "Happy" Christmas Jim! Ho Ho Ho!


F*** yourself! There's nothing outside my....wait! By gawd, that's my toy BBQ set! You know, that Santa is not a bad guy after all! I've had this anger all my life all because I didn't get that stupid present when I was a kid! Well maybe it's time for me to be happy this Christmas! Maybe I'll actually do something romantic for my wife & even pay Hollywood John a Christmas Bonus this year! Maybe...wait what's in this wrapped up in the other package?! Let me see it's........a WET SKATEBOARD?!?! Why did that **** bring me this **** again?!?! Is this some kind of rib?!? The only ribs I like are the type that I can BBQ! This is ****!! Go **** yourself & shove Christmas up your a...............................................OUCH MY FACE!!!!

Wait! I didn't mix up that Dark Journey
magazine with that skateboard? *sigh*

To view previous Mailbags go here. To send Angry Jim a REAL question or complaint (but not spam concerning penis enlargements...which Jim doesn't need apparently) you can Tweet him here.

Episode 23: Blacksmith Friday: December 13, 2013

Where's Poochy Pitchy?
61 minutes

RD is depressed while because Blade is already hitting the eggnog.

In case you didn't know, RD has a degree in broadcast journalism. He uses this to discuss Blade's screaming boner for Mariah Carey. (:08)

Blade is sad they didn't have a Michael Cole character on their show. He then goes on about a ramble about pop music to make up for it. (:11) Then he does his Milley drunk Jerry Lewis impersonation. (:13)

RD is angry because a local radio DJ compared Jim Carrey's Grinch with It's A Wonderful Life. (:17) Are you sure that was not just shock jocking at work?

Blade managed to snag a 50 cent video of the infamous Mexican Santa Claus. (:19) However he fears he may have been swindled, as Pitch - who you may recall is the villain of the movie - has been completely edited out, leaving Santa to fight a barking dog. To make up for it he found some 'evil' artwork of the movie with Lupita wanting to kill somebody devil doll style.

Blade time outs about wanting and not getting a stuffed Scooby-Doo. This wastes four minutes. (:28 - :32) The Scooby-Doo/WWE crossover fanfiction 'movie' is still going on for some reason. Blade wonders how it would have been if it was made during the Attitude Era or in WCW instead. But there is one bright side: More people will see this than they did The Chaperone. 

Mickey James is selling random crap online. I don't want to know where her body has been. (:39)

You know nobody is listening to the show anymore (even kayfabe wise?) when a request competition to the listeners (with prizes even!) only gets 4 responses. (:40) RD gives a random guy his price while Blade "sounds like a Jew this week." Maybe that was his prize.

RD FINALLY went  Black Fridaying 44 minutes in. Sadly this did not raise his spirits due to the fact that he didn't meet many crazy people this year. Perhaps it was the magnetic repelling of taking the Mrs. AND his son with him (on his first outing) on...Thanksgiving Night. Yes, they are starting early for some reason.

While at Wal-Mart to pick up the latest Madden RD had to use a sound bar to defend a newbie very tiny employee with a probable "calcium deficiency" ( according to Blade). Sadly there are as yet no pictures of him swinging a giant piece of electronics like a Zweihänder against a rampaging horde of zombie-like shoppers like Hulk Hogan with a giant candy cane.

Blade also went out on Black Friday to Kroger's (:57) where he got a lucky deal on a few items. Someone was arguing over there.

That's all he has.

No, really.

WCR Video: Brother Midnight Turns Angry Jim into "Happy Jim"

(In a followup to the previous WCR Video) 5 years ago today (12.12.08); Brother Midnight turned Angry Jim into "Happy Jim" by telling him to "wear no pants"!...

Part 1:



Part 2:



...with disastrous results!

(Videos by Greg Diener)

And be sure to visit here for the archives baybah!

WCR Video: Angry Jim Ross Has A Bone To Pick With Brother Midnight

Angry Jim Ross talks about cooking a "Thanksgiving" Turkey & has a bone to pick with Brother Midnight (12.05.08):



(Video by Greg Diener)

And be sure to visit here for the archives!

Episode 22: Question Period: November 21, 2013

49 minutes

Still a better show than anything
in NBC's current lineup.
Sad News: Blade is not familiar with Jim Nantz. He makes up for it by laughing rather weirdly.

RD is offering a (fascinating) Mike Check bumper sticker to anyone who gives him a new intro phrase. (:04) Sad News: RD can only do his Black Friday special offers in the continental United States. (:08)

The Fruitcakes are literally phoning it in from their beds: "In Bed with RD & Blade" as RD terms it. (:11)

RD asks Blade for his (one) most creative WWCR moment. (:12) Blade is (also) stuck on Mike Check for some reason. RD borrowed a Star Wars Episode I pinball machine complete with Jake Lloyd (Jr.) yippee action. (:14)

Blade remembers his first Don Mason movie he made 25 years ago. He's so happy (drunk) he audibly yawns and mixes the two podcasts together. (:19) RD remembers 'encountering' Blade for their new podcast 'promo'.

RD is not looking forward to the next Black Friday due to the fear he may not meet any 'unique' people this time around. (:22) He was however happy about how his Halloween turned out, which he tells us about. Blade is so desperate for sex he wants to enter a Target department store. Poor guy.

You can never have a Christmas without bad Christmas treats, according to the two. Apparently Red Velvet Little Debbie Christmas cakes taste horrible, so keep that in mind. (:26)

Blade rewatched Santa Claus Conquers The Martians for some reason. It's the progrem so nice the original MST3K crew will cover it for a third time. (30)

Blade is considering taking Stubby to Kmart on Black Friday to buy a John Cena boys' shirt. Blade promotional considerations for it in his Nintendo John 'impersonation'. Sadly his audience does not make the expected appearance.  (:34)

People on RD's Facebook page ask for more wrestling news for some reason, so the Fruitcakes discuss...Vicky Guerrero and her taint. (:39) This of course segues into women's ages, birthdays, and Dick Woerhle. (:43)

Mickie James was spotted at WWE's Training & Performance Center., which sadly isn't a name for a stable. (:45) Sad News: Betty Crocker is not real. Could have fooled me!

Angry Jim's Mailbag #9: Burnt On The 5th Of July! (Originally Written July 31, 2013)

(Disclaimer: This was obviously not written by former wrestling announcer Jim Ross & is NOT intended as an insult to him (so please don't sue us). "Angry Jim" is a very loosely based parody based on the character once heard on Wrestlecrap Radio.)

(Disclaimer Disclaimer: All views expressed by Angry Jim are his own & do NOT reflect the opinions of Wrestlecrapradio.com. But we do appreciate that, despite Jim being a rather...strange man, he's been rather helpful in self-censoring himself.)




Editor's Note (November 21, 2013): Angry Jim wrote his last Mailbag back in December 2012 & it was discontinued due to Jim's firing from wrestlecrapradio.com. Well around July 2013, wrestlecrapradio.com decided to reach out to Jim to write a one time only column to celebrate the Wrestlecrap Radio reunion. Around that same time, Jim decided to open a fireworks stand which ended, just like the rest of his side businesses, in a ball of flames. What also got BBQ'd (pun intended) was the floppy disk (I don't know why he can't use a USB drive, but that's another story?) that he saved his latest mailbag column on...or so we thought? It was recently discovered that the disk was actually hidden in his black cowboy hat all along (I guess he hardly ever takes that thing off?). Hopefully, we will be able to rope Jim in into doing a second "one time only" (if that makes any sense?) mailbag to update us on why WWE "retired" him, etc. But until then, here's the lost & "outdated" July mailbag column: [-RVM Kai]


How ya doin' tonight nerds?!

Those d***heads at wrestlecrapradio.com wished me luck in my "Future Endeavors" at the end of 2012! The reason that they gave was that since RD & Blade returned with a new podcast (which is bowling shoe ugly without me), I was no longer needed and they FIRED MY A**! Well those ****wits let me back on their "One time only episode of Wrestlecrap Radio, so these ***holes at wrestlecrapradio.com also let me back in doing a "one time only" Mailbag!

Well since the last time I wrote this, I decided to open up a side business. With the 4th of July over, & with your little brat still bugging about seeing more fireworks & to cooking up some smores, you would've had to wait until next year! That was until now that I have opened up the “Angry Jim's 5th of July Fireworks/BBQ Stand” in Oklahoma. Where you can celebrate the 4th of July everyday & get a free rub with every purchase! But so far, sales haven't been as good as expected with my slogan "Get your little brat a cake that explodes for his Birthday or shove those candles up your ***!" Also I think the **** cops might be trying to close me down, so I changed it to a Fireworks AND Burger Stand to throw those ***s off! So buy my new Angry Jim's "Fireworks Burger" today. It has a huge piece of meat between 2 large buns, dripping with sauce! Just how I like it!


Now on to your **** questions:


Amy Rickan asks: What are your thoughts on Jack Swagger's "Real American" gimmick?

Swagger calls himself a "Real American" huh?! I bet that jack*** doesn't even BBQ anymore! He's a disgrace to being an Okie & hate him for attacking my hat that time I tried to interview him on Smackdown! (That ***hole Vince wanted me to wear that that stupid thing in the first place and now he keeps getting the boys to rib me about me wearing it!) I would have whipped him like a Government Mule if Del Rio didn't stop me! And that's a shoot!

Oh, & unlike Swagger's "gimmick", I like immigrants! I should replace that in competent idiot Hollywood John with one at JR's BBQ!



Al Timate asks: I read on the dirt sheets that you recently had a meeting with UFC's Dana White? What was that about?

Yes it's true! I had a meeting with Dana White sometime in April to get my BBQ sauce Company a sponsorship deal with UFC! And that ****er couldn't come to an agreement with me just because he didn't like my "We Ground & Pound our Meat" slogan! He said it was the worst idea since my old "Squirt some of my sauce on your rump" campaign! I don't know what the ****ing problem with that was?!

So now what the **** am I gonna do with all these 8-sided BBQ sauce bottles?! Shove them up his ***! That's what!



Meg A. Watts asks: Jim, when's that Mid South DVD coming out?


Finally, a question that doesn't make me angry! I just interviewed Bill Watts for that Mid South DVD & it's coming out in September. But I'm not happy that WWE are going to censor some language...not Bill's, Mine! I don't know what the ****ing **** they ****ing mean? And I'm also mad they are cutting out our belching contest, not to mention that my 2 hour analysis of Dark Journey's leg scissors isn't even going to be included as a DVD extra! Well at least it's still a DVD full of good rasslin', not like the sports entertainment **** these days!



Two Count Kev asks: Maybe you could benefit from this book ?

Benefit from that ****?! How the **** does Marc Mero write a book about being “The Happiest Person in the World”?! He must have wrote it straight after he divorced that ***** Sable, I tell you what! And **** that ***hole for stealing my idea! Well, kind of...

[Yeah right Jim, firstly that's the worst Photoshop I've ever seen! ;) And if that IS "your book", give me one tip from it on how to be "Angry" -RVM Kai]

Edit: Well, one tip would be to go **** yourself I'm not giving anything away in my book for free!

[JIIIIM! –RVM Kai]



Raging Demons asks: Hey Jim! Can you die right now so we can enjoy a BBQ themed funeral...if you have the money that is?
 
F*** yourself I'm not dying anytime soon, so you can **** your ****ing question up your ***!

[JIIIIM! –RVM Kai]

Edit: Fine, I'll answer the damn question, your majesty (but he insulted me first)! For my BBQ themed funeral; I want to be cremated in a big BBQ and I want my ashes kept in an urn shaped bottle of my BBQ sauce! Happy!



Iron "Mark" Tyson asks: Oh no Jim! I heard that they are removing wrestling from the Olympics in 2020? Does that mean I won't see John Cena win a gold medal? That's ludicrous!

Cena can't win a Gold medal because he's a pro-rassler, not an amateur rassler. Pro-rasslin has never been in the Olympics you ****ing Mark!

Anyway, those sons of *****es from the IOC should be all punched in the ****s for taking away rasslin from the Olympics. If Danny Hodge wasn't still alive he'd be rolling in his grave right now! They can shove that Synchronized Swimming bull**** up your their ***!



Trash Losagain asks: Jim check out my favorite sauce @Cattleboyzsauce

If that's your favorite sauce then you must like diarrhea! Go **** yourself!




So go **** yourselves nerds, I have this WWE video game panel & my spoken word tour in England in August to prepare for and.....wait why are there those police outside my house?...

QUICK JOHN! HIDE THOSE **** FIRECRACKERS IN THE **** SHED!!...

I KNOW IT'S DARK BUT DON'T LIGHT THAT MATCH IN THERE YOU ******* *****! OH ****!!!.........

[*Several minutes later*]

...... ****! Another business venture literally up in smoke thanks to that ****** Hollywood John! Well, at least my job at WWE is safe!



To view previous Mailbags go here. To send Angry Jim a REAL question or complaint (but not spam concerning penis enlargements...which Jim doesn't need apparently) you can Tweet him here.

WCR Video: The Midnight Rose Interviews The Misfits' Jerry Only

In 2010, The Midnight Rose (doing a Blade Braxton impersonation) interviewed Jerry Only of The Misfits for WrestleCrap Radio. Questions include; what Jerry does for Thanksgiving &, of course, what's his favorite breakfast cereal?



(Video by Blade Braxton)

And be sure to visit here for the archives...Mang!

WCR Video: Who's Becky?!? RETURNS!

I know we played this already earlier in the year but recently our favorite Becky, former TNA Knockout Becky "Cookie" Bayless, has been feeling pretty blue as of late according to her Twitter account.

Since we here at Wrestlecrapradio.com are big fans of her & especially one of favorite stories. We dedicate this to our favorite Cookie & we ask one more time "Who's BECKY?!?"



(Video by pdonkulous81)

[edit]...And here's an animated re-enactment of what Blade's "Who's Becky?!?" story would have looked like:



(Video by R.V.M Kai)

...And be sure to visit here for the archives

WCR Video: Roddy Piper Double Feature: Halloween Tips & "They Live" Parody

Video 1: The Classic Rowdy Roddy Piper Halloween Tips from Wrestlecrap Radio #081: October 26, 2007:



(Video by J Freek)


Video 2: They Live? I didn't even know they were sick?



(Video by LannysPermJuice)


Now say "Please and Thank Ya"!


...And be sure to visit here for the archives

WCR Video: El Candy The Luchador Story!

The "El Candy The Luchador" story from The RD & Blade Show (Episode #19):



(Video by pdonkulous81)

Be sure to visit here for the archives

WCR Video: CS Irwin Hosts the Family Feud

CS Irwin Hosts the Family Feud segment from Wrestlecrap Radio #186:



(Video by pdonkulous81)

Be sure to visit here for the archives

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 7: One Down, One To Go! (With Special Guest @angryjr !)

Previously on Total Divas…

Episode 7: “A Leg Up” or “One Down, One to Go!


We start off the show with one of the WWE Talent monkeys calling Eva Marie giving her the good news that out of all the Divas on the WWE & NXT Roster she’s getting a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine. (RD:”Smells like a set-up to me. I mean Eva Marie is just a no-talent rookie a.k.a. a typical WWE Diva & she gets something big as MAXIM?!? I call shenanigans on that!”)


Total Divas Title Entrance of Death


Another day another RAW as The Bellas get mobbed by WWE fans & they brag about ever since they came back to WWE they are doing a lot of great things & go to a lot of big events. (RD:”Or ever since Nikki’s has been banging John Cena. Just sayin’.”)

Over to Cameron’s apartment & boyfriend Vincent wants to go to some red-carpet event that Cameron’s going to but Cameron thinks Vincent has to fill out some legal papers for the Sheriff’s. (RD:”Who knew that men can become starf-ers?!? I mean Cameron’s an idiot that has always looked to be famous now Vincent just wants to be a part of that life! What a poser!?!”) Cameron’s pissed that Vincent wants to go to at the last minute, Vincent plays the “well I want to spend time with you instead of my friends” card, and Cameron tells Vincent that her job at WWE is a busy one. Cameron tells Vincent to go away but he wants the last word.

Over to “The Fortress of Solitude” a.k.a. John Cena’s place where trainers are stretching Cena out to make sure he doesn’t get injured. (RD:”Or also called getting is daily allotment of Yellow Sun radiation.”) Nikki goes over how much abuse pro wrestlers go through on a daily life & she wants to try it out. The trainers work out with Nikki & she gets orgasmic all about it; Cena admits that he’s getting turned on looking at Nikki going through the process. Nikki walks around & whispers in Cena’s ear that “she’s more flexible now.



Over to a restaurant somewhere in Grand Rapids, MI where Natalya, Cameron, & The NXT Divas are having lunch at a restaurant. Eva Marie drops the bomb that she’ll be in MAXIM. Natalya knew that Eva Marie has an “It Factor” while Cameron thinks that Eva Marie’s gunning for her spot. (RD:”Cameron should be concerned. I mean she was the last person to be a part of ‘The Johnny Ace Job Program’ which means she had to give up the ass for it. Eva Marie probably can do a lot more than Cameron. Maybe if Eva Marie can do the ‘Rusty Trombone’?”) JoJo is jealous that Eva Marie is getting this & needs a way to get noticed as well. (RD:”Well JoJo it’s never too late to sleep with Arn Anderson, he bangs a lot of WWE Divas because he’s a lying douche. Or maybe you can do some group bukkake scenes? I mean you are a WWE Un-Diva so certainly you have no ring talent at all!”) All the Diva’s are supporting Eva Marie but it’s pretty obvious they are threatened by her.

Over to The NXT Diva’s apartment & Eva Marie caught JoJo practicing “The Star Spangled Banner” & that’s when we find out that JoJo wants to be a singer & she tells Eva Marie that she wants to go up to one of the WWE Talent Monkeys & wants to sing the National Anthem at a RAW. (RD:”A very risky ploy by JoJo since singing ‘The National Anthem’ at a sporting event or something like at a RAW is one of the most difficult things that even professional singers can do.”) JoJo wants to use her singing as a way to get on the RAW/Smackdown rosters but Eva Marie questions JoJo if she wants to be in WWE as a singer or as a wrestling Diva. (RD:”Oh you should talk Miss Double D-Cember contestant! WWE’s history has singers in it becoming somewhat famous. Smackdown announcer Lillian Garcia has used WWE to start her own professional singing career, Rikishi has rapped for WWE in some of their music & lots more. Besides WWE is an ‘ENTERTAINMENT’ company now not a ‘WRESTLING’ company.”)

Over to another restaurant lunch with Natalya, Cameron & The NXT Divas but this time The Bellas decided to join them for lunch. Eva Marie decided to tell The Bellas about her being in MAXIM, The Bellas mention they were in “MAXIM SPAIN” but Nikki also admits she feels threatened by Eva Marie as well. (RD:”Nikki listen to Raging here. YOU’RE F-ING JOHN CENA!!! You are on a Michelle McCool level of protection in WWE & maybe even more so! How are you threatened by a wanna-be model that got noticed in a stupid radio beauty pageant?!?!? I got the person for this segment here. Hey Angry Jim Ross! I know your retired & all but what’s your opinion about Nikki Bella feeling threatened by Eva Marie?”)


Angry Jim Ross: "[phone rings] How ya doin tonight Fake Deal!? Angry Jim's gonna put aside this little feud with you for a minute because I want to rant on this Total Divas show! I never watched this piece of **** even before Vince fired...I mean...when I retired from WWE, but I saw some of it on that invention called YouTube after I accidentally clicked on it while searching for Dark Journey videos! Let me just say what bull**** this "reality" show is! I mean why does Nikki Bella, who is already ****ing Cena: the biggest star in rasslin today, feel threatened by Lisa Marie doing that photo-shoot?! You know how many photo-shoots did that ***** got when Johnny Age was in Talent Relations?! They should have had an episode where Cena is threatened by Johnny Age attempting to **** Nikki behind his back, just like he did my wife! Go **** yourselves! "

(RD:”I hate to say this but…Thank you Jim?”)

Cameron brings up how Vincent wants his family to meet her; The Bellas think that Vincent maybe wants Cameron to marry him. Cameron says that she’s not ready for marriage & thinks its forever. (RD:”Well marriage is a joke now thanks to Kim Kardashain so it’s not forever anymore.”) The Bellas ask if Cameron loves Vincent, Cameron says that she LIKES Vincent but not LIKE-LIKE Vincent. (RD:”?!?”) The Bellas think that Vincent may not be “The One” for Cameron; Nikki brings up that she would do ANYTHING for Cena (RD:”Well yeah of course since if you do anything for Cena that means you have a long & healthy career in WWE.”) while Bree thinks that maybe Cameron’s not ready to get married & maybe she needs to dump Vincent. Natalya thinks Cameron’s too protective, Nikki asks if Cameron can live without Vincent (RD:”Lord knows I can!”), Cameron’s not too sure about that.

We’re a stone’s throw away from WWE Headquarters at Hartford, CT for another RAW & we’re in a Diva’s Tag Team Match involved AJ Lee, The Bellas, The Funkadactyls, Natalya, & Kaitlyn. Another botchtastic match as always for the WWE Divas but thanks to Kaitlyn throwing Bree into Nikki, who was standing outside of the ring, Nikki falls off the ring & lands so bad that she injures her shin. The match goes on & after the match the medical crew brings Nikki backstage. It turns out that Nikki has an old soccer injury with that same shin that she broke it in two parts & had to be put back together by putting an iron rod & 3 screws into her leg! (RD: “OW! But still she gives it up for Cena faster than a fat man for a Twinkie.”) Bree wants Nikki to go see the resident WWE doctor, Nikki doesn’t want to, Bree forces Nikki to see the doctor since WWE has them as a TEAM & they are called “The Bella TWINS!” & if Nikki doesn’t want to see the doctor she’ll tell Cena & the WWE higher-ups about the injury. Nikki doesn’t want to because she doesn’t want to give up her spot after The Bellas just returned. Bree gives Nikki the weekend to go to the doctors or else she’s TELLING!



We’re back & in Los Angeles as Eva Marie arrives for her MAXIM photo shoot & she’s ecstatic about the whole process. Eva Marie does her photo shoot for MAXIM (RD:”And it’s comical. Some of her faces for the photos looked like she’s passing gas!”) & the photographers compliment Eva Marie for knowing how to take photos. (RD:”Well Eva Marie does have her own website that’s mostly of her trying to be a model.”)

Back in Tampa when Cena & Nikki are having some coffee at a local coffee house, Cena gets mobbed by a fan so he takes a picture with her with Nikki waiting. Nikki brings up that her shin is hurting, Cena tells Nikki to go see a doctor because he thinks Nikki broke her shin. Cena brings up that Nikki always works on her physical appearance but never her actual body (RD:”Because Nikki wants to get paid that’s why! Keep the Kryptonian happy & she gets money! Everybody knows that!”), Nikki says she doesn’t want to be on the Disabled List & away from WWE. Cena tells Nikki that taking some time off to heal is okay & he’ll be there for support even if it means taking 1-2 years off from WWE; Nikki’s not too thrilled about being off WWE for 1 year to heal (RD:”Nikki your banging John Cena! Michelle McCool came back & left so many times & got so many pushes because she offered the ass for Undertaker. You’ll be fine in your slutty whorish ways.”)

Over to Los Angeles as Cameron & Vincent are spending the day together; Cameron goes to the nail salon to get her nails done. Cameron takes her toy Chihuahua out of her bag & decided the dog needs to get her nails done!



While the nail person (RD:”Is that an actual title for that? I’ve never done it.”) puts nail polish on the dog, Vincent want Cameron to meet her dad. Cameron says she doesn’t even have the time to see Vincent’s dad. Vincent says it is really important for his dad to meet Cameron, Cameron says she’s okay with meeting Vincent’s dad because it’s important to him.

Back to The NXT Diva’s apartment as Eva Marie returns home after the MAXIM photo shoot. Eva Marie describes the experience to JoJo & shows her a photo from the shoot as a souvenir. JoJo’s okay with Eva Marie coming back but Eva Marie didn’t expect JoJo’s lack of joy for her. Eva Marie thinks something is wrong with JoJo & walked away thinking JoJo is jealous of her.



We’re back as Naomi & JoJo are at the gym with Jimmy Uso training. Naomi talks about Eva Marie’s MAXIM photo shoot, JoJo’s thinking about stepping her game up thanks to Eva Marie & talks to Naomi about her singing idea, Naomi thinks it’s a great idea. JoJo brings up wanting to sing The National Anthem, Naomi questions the song choice since The National Anthem is a hard song to sing. Naomi then offer JoJo some help by singing with her, JoJo loves the idea. Naomi suggests that instead of The National Anthem that maybe the both of them sing Brodus Clay’s entrance theme of “Somebody Call My Momma!” & add Cameron to it as well; but Naomi really wants to do this idea so The Funkadactyls get more TV time as well.

We’re at a hospital as Nikki’s going in for a CT scan. After the procedure is done & the doctors send it to WWE; The Bellas leave & Nikki’s concerned about missing Summerslam, Bree thinks the nagging injury could be serious, Nikki wants to ignore it. Bree’s concerned because if Nikki goes on the Disabled List it would also means she’s gone from WWE TV as well & Nikki’s not thinking about that.

Over to Eva Marie & Natalya driving somewhere in Natalya's car. Natalya complains about not having any time at all since she has to plan a wedding now. Natalya discusses that at times she needs to be away from Tyson Kidd just to get a breather & she can’t comprehend being around JoJo a lot. Eva Marie says that she does everything with JoJo & she complains about JoJo’s living habits. Natalya says that JoJo should be more concerned with learning Pro Wrestling Basics 101 than trying to form a band with The Funkadactyls! (RD:”Does Natalya know what company she’s in? This is WWE & their Divas! All they know is ONE MOVE & THEY SCREW THAT MOVE REALLY BAD! The rest of the time they screw up horribly!”) Natalya then slams the un-talented Divas that don’t make it as “glorified Hooter girls” which Eva Marie admitted that at one time she did work at Hooters. (RD:”So that explains a few things! Hooter Girls are the start of being porn stars! Not kidding. I know strippers that want to be Hooter Girls because they don’t want to be naked. The path to being a porn start like this; You got Hooter Girl, then topless dancer, then full-blown naked stripper, then pose for adult magazines like SCORE or Hustler, then Porn! This is science!”)

Naomi & JoJo arrive at a recording studio where Naomi has an idea to create a sample track of JoJo’s idea with The Funkadactyls & send the track over to Head WWE Talent Monkey Jane Geddes hoping she would like it. Naomi used her dad’s connection in the music industry to get the recording studio & help they need to record the track. With Naomi’s dad’s help they manage to harmonize & create the track they needed.

Back to Los Angeles as it’s time for Cameron to meet Vincent’s dad! Turns out that Vincent’s Armenian & his dad’s showing Cameron actual Armenian brad & talks about the wedding that Vincent & Cameron will have, of course Cameron is shocked about the wedding talk. Vincent’s dad doesn’t like Cameron’s WWE career (RD:”Good! Neither do I!”) & wants her to quit so she can birth babies for Vincent. Cameron’s speechless & in the bad way. Cameron says she’s not ready to have kids, Vincent’s dad is not happy with Vincent not having a big wedding or having any responsibilities at all.



Back at The NXT Diva’s apartment & Eva Marie brings up the whole JoJo’s jealous thing again. JoJo gets a call from WWE Head Talent Monkey Jane Geddes, she got the music track & she loves it & she wants to find a way to have JoJo & The Funkadactyls actually perform the song.

Back to Cameron & Vincent as they are having another day out; Vincent has a big surprise for Cameron & that surprise is…An Engagement Ring! Cameron’s not too thrilled about that. Cameron storms out of the jewelry shop, Vincent follows, Cameron tells Vincent she’s not ready to get married & tells Vincent that they need a break. Vincent understands as they hug & tells Cameron that he’ll give her the break she needs & will still be there for her when she’s ready.



Back at the arena for another RAW as The Bellas go see the head WWE doctor & it looks like Nikki broke her shin. Doctor tells Nikki she needs to be away from WWE for 3 months to heal & she can’t be in the ring, Bree asks if Nikki can escort her, doctor says Nikki can’t get physical at all. The Bellas got to tell the WWE Talent Monkeys to say that Nikki’s now on the DL. Meanwhile The Funkadactyls & JoJo practice for their big song tonight. Cameron practices her booty shaking just as THAT moment that Vinnie Mac a.k.a. WWE Chairman & CEO Vincent K. McMahon walks by them. Vinnie Mac is expecting their performance tonight. Unfortunately it gives Naomi a bad case of the nerves which turns out to be a bad chest cold.



The crowd is filling up the arena, JoJo’s nervous for her big break, Naomi is nervous she’ll screw up due to her chest cold, Eva Marie’s saying that this is live so JoJo can’t screw up, Bree says this is JoJo’s one chance. Luckily it turns out that The Funkadactyls & JoJo will be performing on “WWE’s Main Event”. The Funkadactyls come out & they start to perform. Cameron’s overhyping the performance; Naomi & JoJo are WAY OFF pitch that the fans are grabbing their ears in pain! Eva Marie thinks its karma for JoJo not supporting her! (RD:”Hey Eva Marie! Go **** yourself! Not everybody in the whole damn world has to support you. You could have supported JoJo even though she wasn’t too thrilled like a friend should have but now we see what you really are & that’s a giant ass whore like The Bellas. I expect you to be "AIRTIGHT!" supported by The Shield damn near soon!”) WWE Head Talent Monkey Jane was not too thrilled to see that. After the performance Eva Marie with a big shit-eating grin & Bree turn around to see The Funkadactyls & JoJo come backstage. Naomi thought their performance was mediocre, Cameron thought it was a partial train wreck (RD:”And if anybody that knows train wrecks it would be Cameron because she causes a lot of them in the ring.”), JoJo thinks she screwed up big time!

The Bellas meet WWE Talent Monkey Mark. Mark has news for The Bellas. “The Brain trust” that is WWE Creative think Nikki on crutches is not good for the WWE Diva “BRAND” & Nikki’s officially on the DL recovering from home. Nikki thinks her wrestling career is done.



End Of Show

One down! One to go! By the way did you know that Eva Marie had a photo shoot for MAXIM magazine? I think they barely mentioned it.

WCR Video: It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Mickie James

Sad news: Since Mickie James has apparently parted ways with TNA Wrestling, we at wrestlecrapradio.com thought we should revisit this clip of Blade Braxton singing a tribute to "The Centaur" from the time she was released from WWE back in 2011:



(Video by wcrminisodes)

Be sure to visit here for the archives (& here for more WCR music).

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 6: Ballad of Horny Natalya & Party Girl Bree

Previously on Total Divas…(RD:"Wait! You mean there were more episodes of this crap!?! DAMN! DAMN DAMN!")

Episode 6: “Diva Las Vegas” or “The Ballad of Horny Natalya & Party Girl Bree”


We start the show with JoJo drooling over Justin Gabriel with Eva Marie watching. (RD:“I know we men can get horny but so far watching this god awful show who knew that WWE Divas are really super horny?!?”) Chris Jericho (RD:”?!?”) walks by & JoJo’s trying to get information from Jericho about Justin’s relationship status, Jericho knows what JoJo’s doing which makes her run away from being shy.


Total Divas Title Entrance of Death


Another day & another Raw happens; Bree’s boyfriend Daniel Bryan gives her a quick smooch backstage while we look at JoJo & Justin Gabriel flirting with each other. Eva Marie is cautious with JoJo due to her recent breakup. They both watch Justin Gabriel wrestle in his match tonight & Eva Marie notices how Gabriel’s wresting trunks are a WEE bit snug around his crotch. The NXT Divas discuss whether they should invite Gabriel over to their “apartment warming” party but then get scared out of their panties by WWE Creative member Michael “P.S.” Hayes. (RD:”Heh.”)

Over to the NXT Training Area, where The Bellas are teaching The Funkadactyls how to wrestle. (RD:” Isn’t The Bellas teaching The Funkadactlys how to wrestle is somewhat equal to a blind driving instructor teaching his students how to drive?”) Natalya arrives & soon afterwards she steps in the ring to talk about the stress she’s dealing with recently when it comes to planning a wedding, Nikki instead wants to plan the Bachelorette Party. Natalya brings up Jaret (RD:”The poser from the previous episode who owns his own tanning shop that has a DEEP crush on Natalya.”) & his crush on her & wanting to invite him to the wedding since he’s a family friend. Bree thinks that’s a disaster waiting to happen, Naomi thinks Natalya’s reacting to Jaret giving her more attention than fiancé Tyson Kidd, & Nikki wants to talk about the Bachelorette Party. Nikki wants to show Natalya a new move she wants to use which consists of, for this example, using Naomi as a victim; Nikki places the victim on the middle rope, then Nikki drops the leg, & tries to bridge the victim but unfortunately she BOTCHES her OWN MOVE & hurts Naomi! (RD:” Even when they practice their OWN moves The Bellas botch! Why am I not surprised by this?!?”)

Over to The NXT Diva’s new apartment while they are getting ready for their “apartment warming” party & the cast arrive with Naomi bringing fiancé Jimmy Uso & Natalya bringing Tyson along. The Bellas tease The NXT Divas for having cheap wine & cheap wine glasses while The NXT Divas say neither of them drinks. Nikki tells our cast that Bree’s a goer when she gets drunk. Gabriel & Cameron arrive for the party while Natalya tells Nikki about Jaret sending her a text, Nikki mentions that Jaret wants to bang Natalya. Natalya brings up that Tyson was been the only man that she has ever had sex with in her life. The party continues & Cameron brings up her fondness for older men. JoJo decides to take Gabriel to the outside patio & they make out with everybody watching them.



We’re back & just in time to catch JoJo & Gabriel having a lunch date. Gabriel ribs on JoJo how she’s underage & can’t drink. During the date JoJo offers to show Gabriel pics of her pet rabbit. (RD:”Uh…)

Over to Tampa, FL where Nikki & boyfriend John Cena are shopping for Natalya’s Bachelorette Party gift. Nikki brings up how it’s weird that Natalya only had any sexual contact with Tyson, Cena think that’s ok. (RD:”I Have to agree with The Kryptonian. Men want women that are inexperienced for the sheer reason that if we completely screw up in the bedroom then she won’t notice!”) Nikki says that what Natalya has with Tyson is beautiful but also mentions that if her family would be shocked if SHE HAD a similar relationship. (RD:”So Nikki admits to being a whore eh?”) Nikki tries to change a subject that she’s not a whore & tries miserably to get Cena’s advice for Natalya’s present.

Over to Cameron’s apartment where she’s packing for Natalya’s Bachelorette Party but boyfriend Vincent is concerned about what “fun” she’ll get into. Cameron says that she needs a break since she’s been working so hard. (RD:”Is that what you do? Work? Silly me Cameron I thought what you do is just bounce around & look like an idiot.”) Vincent wants to invite himself to the Bachelorette Party (RD:”?!?”) but Cameron says it’s mostly going to have people from WWE & she & Eva Marie can’t bring their boyfriends to the party because they are “not in the business. Vincent is trying to get himself invited by saying that Cameron doesn’t spend time with him, Cameron just ends the fight by saying that she doesn’t want to talk about it.

VIVA LAS VEGAS! The cast & some of the WWE wrestlers take a party bus to the hotel suite. JoJo screws around with a stripper pole in the shower; Daniel opens the bottle of champagne with Curt Hawkins & Jey Uso watching. (RD:”That quick 5 seconds of Curt Hawkins on this show is probably the most screen time he’ll ever spend on WWE this year!”) The Bellas decorate Natalya with Bachelorette stuff & pack her with condoms. (RD:”Really?!? Tyson Kidd is in the same room & you are going to do that! And people call me tasteless at times.”) Cameron wants to see Bree in party mode but Bree doesn’t want to do it in front of Daniel. Nikki ends this party with a cheer that only Blade Braxton would love.

The cast decide to have a little pool party & what a better way to have one by having all the Divas poses in a photo shoot! (RD:”I wish that was a joke but that actually happened.”) After the photo shoot Bree & Daniel are making out & Jimmy gets all flirtatious with Naomi. Nikki & Natalya are talking when Natalya gets texts from Jaret which sounds pretty flirtatious to Nikki but Natalya thinks they are nothing. Natalya didn’t know thanks to Nikki that she’s accidentally misleading the poor guy thinking he actually has a shot with her.



The pool party continues in Las Vegas & JoJo is ready to have some fun…That is until she sees Gabriel flirting with another girl. Eva Marie thinks JoJo is a rebound girl, JoJo says that she’s not a rebound girl. (RD:”How can JoJo know this when she had only one relationship?!?”) JoJo’s confident that Gabriel wants her.

The party continues back in the hotel suite as drinking games ensue for Natalya. Drinking happens, Kidd gives out a cheer, & Nikki gets slutty again by taking Natalya to the “Chippendale’s” show. The cast are enjoying the show mostly seeing half-naked men dance around. (RD:”And women think we’re awful for going to strip clubs yet women will pay money to see topless guy simulating a sex act?!? Nothing says fun than muscular men putting a pole near their crotch & jerking it off! By the way boss I want hazard pay after this episode!”) The Chippendale dancers take Natalya on stage & basically hog tie her & flash their junk at her. (RD:”After this episode I don’t want any women to yell at us anymore about strip clubs after this episode!”)

While most of the cast continue the party at one of the hotel’s night clubs the NXT Divas is basically bored since JoJo is under age & Eva Marie doesn’t drink. The NXT Divas walk around until they run into Gabriel having a date with another girl. JoJo is just pissed & walks off.



Back as The NXT Divas see Gabriel’s date with another girl. The NXT Divas walk out of the hotel just in time to catch Gabriel leave with the girl in a taxi cab. JoJo says that she is “DONE” with Justin Gabriel & she is shocked that he would do that. (RD:”Well I’m shocked that after ONE DATE JoJo thought Justin Gabriel was hers! It’s ONE FREAKING DATE! I mean come on! As Angry Jim Ross would say ‘Go F**k Yourself JoJo!’ “) Eva Marie told JoJo not to go after Gabriel & now she’s heartbroken. (RD:”You should talk you hypocritical whore! So far you admitted that you wanted to bang Fandango AND Roman Reigns!“)

We go back to the party as the cast continue & Bree enters “party mode”! The Divas dance normally & sexually. The Bellas & Cameron table dance (RD:”They table dance as if they know how to do it well. I’m not saying anything on that.”) & we get a shot of Cameron’s vagina. (RD:”That’s Not Divalicious Cameron! That’s Stripalicious!”) Nikki commits a party foul when she falls to the floor. The cast take the party back to the hotel room when Natalya admits that she can’t get Jaret out of her mind. Bree’s pissed but Natalya admits that she loves Kidd but maybe she’s not ready to get married. Bree & Natalya have some private time when Natalya admits she’s getting cold feet, Bree says that Jaret’s making Natalya feel special again.



We’re back & after Natalya & Bree’s little private talk Bree’s heading back to her hotel room but she’s still drunk & in “party mode”. Bree drunkenly stumbles to her hotel room but she can’t open the door so she knocks hoping Daniel would let her in. Daniel groggily lets Bree in but Bree’s acting horny after an exposed vagina shot. (RD:”WWE is supposed to be PG but in this ONE EPISODE we have guys flashing their junk to Natalya & not one but TWO times WWE Divas flashed their crotches!”) Bree then takes out a pair of fuzzy handcuffs & puts them on Daniel.

It’s the next day & Bree’s having a huge hangover & has to admit to Daniel that she was drinking & partying all night, Daniel admits that he knows but is all right since they are in Vegas. The night falls & the cast are having a dinner out with IRONICALLY enough JoJo sitting next to Gabriel (RD:”It’s as if it looks like it was, gasp, could it be that it was STAGED?!?”). Natalya thanks everybody for being with them. Gabriel takes JoJo away to talk to her about what’s going on with her, JoJo’s wondering what’s going on, Gabriel basically says “It’s not you it’s me” & blames it on her age. JoJo walks off emotionally hurt.



We’re back in Vegas as The Bellas are preparing for a new day when Bree accidentally discovers Nikki’s vibrator. Hilarity ensues with the Bellas & the vibrator.


Ron Burgundy: “You stay classy Bella Twins.”


Naomi arrives & Cameron’s hotel room & her bathroom is very impressive. Cameron gives Naomi the unexpected surprise that her boyfriend Vincent is actually coming to Vegas to see her. (RD:” Wasn’t Vincent told that he wasn’t allowed to be there?”) Naomi fears the chaos that’ll happen when Vincent shows up & speak of the devil there’s a knock on the door & Vincent arrives! Vincent is just very excited to be here as he bounces around the room like a kindergartner drinking a soda.

The cast & Vincent arrive at a restaurant to finish off Natalya’s very long Bachelorette Party. Bree gives one long toast that comes from her heart wile Nikki goes slutty with her toast. Natalya gets a male g-string cake for her to eat. Vincent goes mental when Cameron tries to touch the cake’s “wiener”. The server brings in giant balls of cotton candy as an appetizer while Vincent grabs a long piece of cotton candy & tries to be goofy with it near Cameron.



Vincent tries to go “Lady & The Tramp” with a piece of cotton candy at Cameron while everybody in the room is looking very embarrassed that Vincent is there. Vincent’s antics continue until he spills his drink on himself.



The cast arrive at a major club called “ghost bar” & of course they are partying & dancing all over the place. Natalya & Kidd say that they love each other while Vincent gets drunk out of his mind! Cameron says that when Vincent gets really drunk he goes really nuts! Vincent wants to drink himself to death but Cameron’s trying to sober him up. Drunk Vincent is talking to Natalya (RD:”OH GOOD! That’s what we need around here, more stupidity!”) apologizing for actually being there. Now Drunk Vincent is going over to Jimmy saying that he’ll back him up anytime. (RD: “Jimmy Uso has a person like that & it’s called his brother Jey!”) Cameron finds Vincent & goes mental that Vincent spilled a drink on her dress, Drunk Vincent of course denies this. Now a fight is breaking out between Cameron & Drunk Vincent. The fight goes on for while until Cameron is pissed & orders Vincent that they are leaving. While the cast are continuing to part Cameron takes a Drunk & now PISSED Vincent out because Cameron is going to be embarrassed by him! Now Vincent is doing the “walk the line” drunk test & Cameron storms back to her hotel room. In the end Natalya is happy about having the Bachelorette Party & she has no more cold feet wedding jitters.

End of Show

And RVM Kai wonders how I could handle this damn show?!?

Episode 21: Three Little Words: October 1, 2013

Angry RD (the exclamation
point makes it so.)






37 minutes

(The part of "guest recapper" will be tonight played by R.V.M Kai & R.V.M Kai.)

RD is upset that his Cincinnati Reds didn't make the playoffs and it now seems that the part of "Angry Jim" will be now played by "Angry RD" (sans the fetish for bald women and pulling his pork with Hollywood John). Blade segues an attempt to cheer up RD by getting him to watch a video of "The Baseball Bunch" that involves a cameo by The Kool-Aid Man. (:03) [Oh yeah, Gary Carter is in this? Why on earth haven't I seen this yet??? - PB]

Speaking of "water". Blade somehow attempts another segue by relating the "water" in Kool-Aid to Trish Stratus' "water" breaking (...and you know what that means...?). RD doesn't like Patty's new son's name as much as her changing from blonde to brunette. (:08) Blade is sad that Mickie James is apparently leaving TNA and is now moving on to greener pastures with her band at the World Chicken Festival, which would probably attract a larger audience than TNA's usual fare. (:15)

Blade: "You can't trust what I think these days."
RD: "These days, you say."

They talk about Goldust donning a hood and light-saber at an independent promotion somewhere in Illinois under a new gimmick of "Lord Goldie Goldust". (:21) The mention of Primo & Epico re-debuting as a masked tag-team; "Los Matadores", leads to RD bringing up "Zorro: The Gay Blade"...which is a joke that writes itself. (:27)

Blade still has a R2D2 cookie (amongst many other ancient food items) that has been in stored away his parent's deep freezer since 1987 and also announces that he will be selling that infamous "Alien Ham". Fascinating. (:32)

RD: "I have three words for you: See ya later!"

WCR Video: The Barbequer (Blade Braxton's Tribute to Angry Jim)

Blade Braxton sings a tribute to the retiring Angry Jim on Episode 20 of The RD & Blade Show. Listen to it or Go.....



(Video by R.V.M Kai)

Be sure to visit here for the archives (& here for more WCR music.)

WCR Video: Minisode Flashback #037: That Diva Search Finale

Well since Raging Demons has probably suffered some sort of nervous breakdown after his brave attempt to recap every episode of "Total Divas"...& lasted just five (I hope Premier Blah shows mercy & doesn't feed him to Zombie Nathaniel, poor guy!). I thought, since the "summer mid-season finale" was just on the air, that this "minisode" of RD & Blade's commentary of "The Diva Search" finale would be appropriate as it seems to sum this show up nicely. [-R.V.M Kai]



(Video by wcrminisodes)


Be sure to visit here for the archives (or for more "minisodes" go here.).

Episode 20: Gone Too Sooner: September 12, 2013

44 minutes

The Co-Fruitcakes talk about Transformers, Tiny Tim, and Tony Lister for some reason.

RD has completed the bulk of his re-write of The Death of WCW. Vince Russo is now on LinkedIn. Blade has no idea what LinkedIn is. I try not to be surprised. (:07)

:10 RD reads a 'press release' from Sunny about being a...lady of the sheets in the guise of a bed-based photo op. I'm sure this will end well. RD then asks for volunteers to take photos with her. I'm sure this will also end well. Blade acts as her pimp in his Jeff Foxworthy impression. This...does not end well.

Blade wants to post more on his Twitter. I'm sure that will happen by the next Vernal Equinox. (:19)

Jim at the WCR Roast, hiding his
face in shame with...his own face.
Jim Ross is retiring to "focus on his personal business endeavors" and NOT because he doesn't want to be parodied any more by Vince or have things shoved up his rectum while Michael Cole mocks him. (:24) The man himself calls in to liven things up and tell the world the TRUTH: he's retiring because he wants to stay in bed (and imagining Dark Journey is with him ala Sunny up there). He and RD remember all his old 'businesses' throughout the years. Also Jim has an Amazon wishlist, which is so 2006.

Blade sings. RD ruins things by laughing out loud. (:39)

WCR Video: Angry Jim's Barbeque & Lawn Service

Now that Jim has decided to retire, it won't be long before he may have to revert to (re)starting a "side businesses" to make some dough (or sauce in his case). Well it's the fall season, so why not call "Angry Jim's Barbeque & Lawn Service" today? ...He needs the money!



(Video by pdonkulous81)

Be sure to visit here for the archives

WWE Total Divas Recap Episode 5: The Oncoming Storm

Previously on Total Divas…


Episode 5: “Feuding Funkadactyls” OR “The Oncoming Storm”


We start off with the NXT Divas putting bronzer on each other before they go to the gym, which Eva Marie does because just in case she’ll run into someone. The NXT Divas head into the gym to get in their daily workout but then they change their minds & horse around by doing some headlocks on one another & they run into “Shield” member Roman Reigns. They have some small talk & the Divas leave. Eva Marie has another sexy crush feeling again & this time it’s on Roman Reigns!


Total Divas Entrance of Illegal Water Torture!


We’re at Natalya & Tyson Kidd’s home where the couple are having some fun in the pool when they get a call from Tyson’s mother. Natalya will be wrestling at her home town of Calgary, Alberta, Canada for her “birthday week” but she does NOT want to spend time with Tyson’s mother. (RD: “Oh don’t tell me Natalya celebrates that crap! For those that don’t know what a ‘birthday week’ is it’s when women decide to stretch out the birthday celebration by making it one whole week of celebration. Honestly it is one of the stupidest things to happen. I mean if Jim Neidhart knew that a week from when Natalya was going to be conceived I’m betting he would wear a rubber or not have sex at all. Or even worse which would be Jim Neidhart having sex with The Bellas mom! Yes you heard me. Natalya Neidhart could have been Nattie Bella!” Just sayin’.”) Natalya gives Tyson the phone to he can speak to his mother & it looks like the mom is insisting that Natalya & Tyson spend the night at her place rather than at a hotel; Natalya is not too fond of that idea since Tyson’s mom has a small 1-Bedroom house & Natalya has to share the bed with the mom while Tyson sleeps on the sofa & she’s not too thrilled about that. Natalya asks Tyson to tell his mom that they are staying at a hotel.

New York, New York. Cameron visits Naomi in her hotel room. Naomi wants to spend the day crashing in her room but Cameron wants to go shopping. Cameron wants to take Naomi clothes shopping but Trinity is fighting hard to get out of it.

Now we’re heading out to…


Lance Storm: "Calgary…Alberta, Canada."

Inside the arena where The Bellas are learning their lines for the filming of a segment with The Funkadactlys about the WWE App. (RD:” Oh Lordie. Are we going to shill for that damn app here as well?!?”)



So The Bellas & Funkadactyls film their segment & afterwards they have some small talk. The Bellas are going to visit their mom this week & Bree wants to see their dad but Nikki doesn’t want to because dad’s an addict. Natalya arrives at the arena & she is very happy because not only its her birthday but her match is on RAW so everything is perfect…Until her match is a tag-team match with her partner Kaitlyn versus The Bellas & she loses to The Bellas. (RD: “OUCH!”) Soon afterwards Natalya & Tyson arrived at the hotel & Natalya wants sexy time! Our couple has a little foreplay then they get a call from Tyson’s mom which kills the mood; Natalya says that Tyson’s mom wants Tyson all to herself but it’s her “birthday week” so that’s not going to happen. Looks like plans have change as Tyson’s now spending the night at her mom’s home; Natalya’s not too thrilled about that.



Over to Los Angeles, CA as Nikki & boyfriend John Cena are having a couples night with Naomi & fiancé Jimmy Uso. Also joining the party is Cameron & her dumbass boyfriend Vincent; Cameron drops Vincent aside as The Funkadactyls enter because it was Cameron’s idea to go to a grand opening of a boutique. Naomi wants to just enter the store but Cameron insists they stay outside so the photographers take pictures of them. Naomi says the glamour of her job is okay but she would rather concentrate on her wrestling moves more than anything. (RD:”Wait a minute. You are trying to tell me that Naomi is a…Diva?!?”) Naomi walks away from the camera while Cameron enjoys every minute of it.

Over to Tampa, FL & “The Fortress of Solitude” a.k.a. Cena’s home. Cena’s making coffee while Nikki’s looking at some framed pictures & can’t tell who Joseph Stalin, Winston Churchill, & former U.S. President Franklin Delanor Roosevelt are. (RD:”Yes that did happen & yes Nikki’s a dumbass! She admitted to it!”) Cena’s trying to teach Nikki how to speak Chinese but she’s having a hard time to learn it because…


Nikki Bella: “It’s definitely hard to learn a different language. I know some Spanish, but Chinese is literally like…Chinese.”



(RD:”Nikki must be a great lay because no one can be that stupid!”)

Cena brings up how The Bellas are going to see their mom but when dear old dad comes up Nikki wants to change the subject. Cena wants Nikki to reconcile with her dad, Nikki doesn’t want to because of the fear of having her dad cause trouble all over again, Cena wants Nikki to talk to her dad in hoping that maybe things changed.

Back to…

Lance Storm: "Calgary…Alberta, Canada."

Natalya’s having a lunch date with Tyson & his mom when Natalya gets a surprise visitor in the form of Tyson’s sister Valerie which Natalya is not too thrilled to see as well. Tyson’s mom brings up why Natalya’s at a hotel, Natalya brings up that she needs the hotel because of her popularity, mom brings up that family is important. Valerie brings up that Tyson’s been spending time with the family. Mom brings up Natalya & Tyson’s long relationship; Valerie wants them to have kids, mom thinks a bad idea, Valerie asked for Tyson’s opinion about wanting kids, Tyson was about to give his opinion when Natalya hushes him. Valerie brings up how Natalya & Tyson should take pre-marital counseling. (RD: “A little bit awkward there.”) Natalya & Tyson say they don’t have any issues but Natalya notices how mom is giving Tyson a lot of attention.

Back to Tampa, Fl where The Bellas are about to start their daily workout when Nikki brings up to Bree about wanting to makeup with dad if Bree goes with her, Bree totally agrees on that.

Over to the NXT Training Center where Naomi wants to create a new dance routine that’ll give new life to The Funkadactyls. Naomi wants to do some high-paced acrobatic moves but Cameron wants to go “Divalicious”. (RD:” For those that don’t know what the word "Divalicious is it's Cameron’s word when she was on ‘Tough Enough’. It’s what she thinks the WWE Divas are in her little moronic head.”) Cameron feels the conflict coming from both of them. Naomi wants them to do more in the ring but Cameron doesn’t like the acrobatic & wants them to concentrate on the camera because that’s what it’s all about. (RD:”Oh yeah sure; Cameron has that experience from that ONE episode of ‘Tough Enough’ that she did!”) Naomi is getting frustrated.



We’re back as The Bellas visit their family down in Brawley, CA & the only thing of interest here is The Bella’s grandmother wants to talk about how Bree’s boyfriend Daniel Bryan wants to use a compost heap which grandma thinks it’s a silly idea. Which leads us to…


Lance Storm: "Calgary…Alberta, Canada."

Natalya goes to visit a friend’s tanning salon to celebrate “herself”. (RD: “Like spacing out your own week for your birthday isn’t enough.”) Turns out that Natalya’s friend has an amateur wrestling background & helped her out with some of her wrestling moves. Natalya asks to get a spray tan from him. The friend wants to catch a dinner with Natalya so they can catch up on some old times.

Back to Brawley as The Bellas visit their dead grandfather’s grave & they keep mentioning how their grandfather would be proud of what they are doing right now. (RD:”Proud as is in being proud that Nikki is sleeping her way to the top?”) With The Bellas dad walking out on their lives it turns out that the granddad was their father figure growing up, Nikki says that it was her granddad that made her the woman she is today. (RD:”By having Nikki tell Cena ‘No ring, no anal!’ Just sayin’.”) A quick return trip once again to…


Lance Storm: "*sigh* Calgary…Alberta, Canada."

Natalya is getting dressed up because today is FINALLY her birthday! (RD:”PHEW! I mean after that hard celebrating of an entire week of ‘hey look at me awesomeness!’ Must be tiring.”) Natalya gets a call from Tyson that he’s down in the lobby so she meets him & Natalya notices something odd. Tyson isn’t dressed up for Natalya. Tyson says they are going to have dinner at her sister’s place so they can see his family because they are never here in Calgary. Natalya is upset because she wanted a dinner alone with her & Tyson not her, Tyson, & his family! Natalya returns to her room letting Tyson have dinner with his family. (RD: “Okay I’m split here. On one side the guy is right & you should see family. Then again they already saw the sister & mother earlier in the episode & adding to it we have a full ‘birthday week’ celebration crap! Then again this had to happen on Natalya’s birthday! Oh I’m so confused. I don’t know who to turn my hate on!”)

Over to Tampa, FL where The Funkadactyls & The NXT Divas decide to have a nice day off of go-karting. Eva Marie & Cameron goof around while Cameron says that she has to win everything or else she’ll have a “boo-boo face”. (RD: “Well not everything Miss ’you got your ass booted on Week 1 of Tough Enough’!”) After some fun time at go-karting the ladies have a competitive race & Cameron wins! Cameron grabs the first place “medal” & runs around as if she won the World Series. (RD:”Geez! This was a game. I mean come on!”) Naomi’s just happy that she had a good time while Cameron is being a sore winner. Naomi really doesn’t care who won the race but Cameron HAD TO RUB IT IN Naomi’s face that she’s the winner. (RD:”I’m starting to like Naomi as a person here & if Cameron pulled that crap in my face I would go Angry Jim Ross on her face & I would tell Cameron to go f**k herself!”) Naomi just couldn’t take any more of Cameron’s crap & had to slip in that she’s the one that wins their matches, Cameron brings up that she’s the speaker of the team. (RD: “If that’s what you call talent on the mike there Cameron that’s not a good job at it!”) Now Cameron’s pissy that Naomi took it personal. The NXT Divas are in some sort of joyful shock seeing The Funkadactyls bicker with one another. Naomi politely tells Cameron to shut up but Cameron responds with a “Pfft. Whatever” hand look & walks off. (RD:”Yeah real mature there.”) Naomi says nobody wants to hear her crap right now about being a winner, Cameron said she was KIDDING! (RD:”BULLSHIT!”) Eva Marie just wants to get the hell out of there so while she grabs JoJo to leave, Naomi shoves Cameron & then…THE FUNKADACTLYS EXPLODE!@! They both get into each other’s faces, Naomi dares Cameron to hit her, they both get into a little girl tussle with Cameron pie-facing Naomi & walks off!



We’re back as…THE FUNKADACTYLS EXPLODE…AGAIN! Now it just breaks down as it turns into an episode of “The Jerry Springer Show”. Naomi thinks Cameron thinks she has all that class but she has nothing. Naomi’s waiting on Cameron to do something but Cameron just walks off, Naomi calls out Cameron’s punk card! Hey you know what it’s time for! It’s time for us to go back to…


Lance Storm: "*sigh* Calgary…Alberta, Canada. Look I know there's this joke where my catchphrase used to be that I announced where my hometown was but you're killing this joke. Can I get paid now?"
(RD:"Sure thing Mr. Storm we'll have someone from Trolla pay you. Go to our Accounting Department & look for Nathaniel; he has a bad skin condition & ignore him saying 'brains' a lot since he's a big fan of 'The Walking Dead'.")

As Natalya decided that instead of having dinner with Tyson & his family she instead decides to have dinner with her friend from the suntan place Jaret. (RD:”In some guys that would be considered a WEE BIT whorish.”) Of course Natalya thought it was pretty nice for Jaret to make arrangements…at a very nice restaurant where they can be alone. (RD:”Hrm…If I didn’t know any better I would think that this Jaret guy wants to bang Natalya!”) They both have some small talk when Natalya slips out about how Tyson’s such a momma’s boy. Jaret comes out & says that maybe Natalya should look for someone else that makes her happy; someone that should take care of her, someone that rented out an entire restaurant (RD: “Jaret said that.”), someone that maybe...Owns his own suntan business (RD: “Me right there”). Jaret finally admits that Natalya should dump Tyson & be in a relationship with him instead! Natalya is speechless. (RD:”Whether it’s a good or bad speechless I don’t know.”)

Back to Brawley with The Bellas as Bree arranged a family meeting with dear old dad & they decided to bring brother JJ along. Daddy Bella comes in & is happily greeted by Bree & JJ while Nikki just wants to get the hell outta there.



Back at the appearance of Daddy Bellas & Nikki reluctantly hugs her father. Daddy Bellas wants to know what’s wrong with Nikki? Nikki says that Daddy basically left her & Bree & really screwed up her life. Nikki goes into one sob fest saying that it was her grand dad that became her father figure & wants Daddy Bella to go to hell. Daddy Bella sounds pretty remorseful & wants to redeem himself to Nikki.

Backstage at RAW where The Bellas are filming a segment with R-Truth & Natalya’s checking her phone. The Funkadactyls arrive separately since there’s still bad blood since they…EXPLODED! WWE Talent Relations Guru Jane Geddes brings up tonight’s Diva Match of a Six-Diva Tag Team Match of AJ Lee & The Bellas versus The Funkadactlys & Kaitlyn. The Funkadactlys get verbal about not wanting to work with each other, Jane asked for some private time with The Funkadactyls to see what’s going on. Naomi doesn’t want to deal with Cameron’s drama & asks to be sent back to NXT, Cameron calls out Naomi for acting unprofessionally, & then things self-destruct again! Jane breaks up the fight & says that it’s up to WWE Creative if they want to break up The Funkadactlys & IRONICALLY enough the Head of WWE Creative Stephy Bear is here & will arrange a meeting with them. The Funkadactlys fight again with Cameron storming out of the room & telling our cast how Naomi is SO wrong. (RD:”Yeah, real mature there & not Divalicious. I’m remembering why I hate Cameron SO MUCH!”)



The Funkadactlys get their meeting with Stephy Bear & Naomi’s hoping she can be free of Cameron! They have their meeting & Cameron says that they need to be professional but it started at their day-off go-karting & she admitted she acted like a big winner & says Naomi pushed her. Naomi admits to pushing Cameron. Stephy Bear is not happy with Naomi pushing Cameron, Naomi defends herself by saying that Cameron is pretty much involved in this as her. Stephy Bear is not happy with the way The Funkadactyls acted publicly but decides to grant Naomi’s request & tonight each of The Funkadactyls will get a singles match tonight. (RD: “Naomi has some decent ring skills while Cameron…*shiver*”)

RAW is about to start soon & we get The Funkadactly’s match information. Naomi vs. Alicia Fox & Cameron vs. Aksana. (RD: “Well that’s pretty fugly right there. Alicia Fox is as botchy as a Bella to the point where she can’t even do her damn finisher right! While Aksana on the other hand is well…meh but a meh on the bad side so advantage Cameron I guess?”) Cameron walks off thinking that she’ll be the star while Seamstress Sandra wants to know what’s going on with The Funkadactlys, Naomi gets all in Sandra’s face & walks off to get ready.

RAW’s alive & kicking as The Bellas go watch “Team Hell No” & Cena vs. The Shield. We see The Bellas actually get turned on by Cena & Daniel wrestling. (RD: “EW!”) Funkadactyl match number 1 is here & it’s Naomi/Alicia Fox with the cast & Jane watching backstage. Natalya notices Naomi already winded & notes to her inexperienced at working singles matches which makes Cameron happy. Naomi botches a Flying Body Splash on Alicia Fox which ended up landing on her face! In the end it was Alicia Fox that gets the win. Cameron’s turn next as she faces Aksana & Cameron’s running the match way too fast & she’s botchier than Naomi! (RD:” In fact Cameron’s so botchy that I miss Kelly Kelly in a WWE ring so I can she her ‘wrestle’ to get the taste of Cameron’s bad wrestling out of my mind!”) After seeing Cameron losing to Aksana & her horrific wrestling; Naomi decides to apologize Cameron for everything that happened. Cameron apologized to Naomi & they both decide to be a team again.

End of Show.

(RD: "Work delayed this but don't worry. I'll make it up to you soon.")