Minisode #010 Help Ricky Morton

by iggy



October 28, 2005

King Vitaman
Cookie Crisp saved the life of, and then nearly killed, Blade's dog.
Blade doesn't give out Halloween candy.
The teletype debuts.
Ricky Morton owed $74,000.
Blade and Don Mason made movies.
PWI Rankings
Juniors jumping on couches
Silver Shamrock

#er whaut #wretched and evil

010 Cookie Crisp Christmas Crap Radio: October 28, 2005

"This may not be the show for you."
((( recorded in medium phone-buzzing fidelity ))) (32 minutes)

Blade is willing to shave his beard off if it would garner more listeners.

Bumper Stumpers sucked. RD's Weekly Trip to the Grocery: he and Blade hate Cookie Crisp. The new King Vitamin character is even more creepy. Blade doesn't hand out Halloween candy, preferring to horde it all himself. RD liked C. Thomas Howell's Soul Man.

Obscure Wrestling News now has an intro sound effect and Blade hates it. April Hunter was upset about something about Tammy Sytch being upset about something. Ricky Morton owes almost $75,000 in child support payments. Perhaps YOU can help pay it off at helprickymorton.org. Robert Gibson could sell his glass eye and shoulder battery to help Ricky Morton who's still in jail. I guess. [These early shows are very short on actual jokes.]

[This is also the first mention of the Uncharismatic Enigma that will come to be known to WrestleCrappers around the world as Don...Don Mason. - Future PB]

I'M GONNA KILL THE
FUCK OUT OF THIS SNOW GLOBE!!
Question of the Week from Outback Jack: Bobby Lashley resembles Ahmed Johnson. Apparently, in the past, wrestlers, such as Ahmed Johnson, have asked Vince McMahon for more money based on their ranking on PWI's made-up top 500 wrestlers list. I don't know if anyone would have understood him with his mushy-mouthed voice though.

This week in late October, Spike TV premiered Santa's Slay, a movie in which Goldberg plays a murderous Santa. Blade saw it. The only thing he really remembers about it was that Chris Kattan starred in it.

RD doesn't know if Teddy Long treats midgets more like unruly children or like dogs. Jim Ross' alleged ass had many things stuck in it, and they're all available at the WWE ShopZone.

Evil Halloween Haiku:
JR's battered ass.
That was so painful. My poor
eyes felt sodomized.
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Frenchy Martin to my Dino Bravo, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 6. Halloween costumes (2), obscure, things getting worse, bootleg Creature From the Black Lagoon mask, Santa Claus
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Bumper Stumpers, Press Your Luck, Linda Blair
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  0.
 
  • Blade Burps: 2
 
  • Tammy Sytch references:  6

  • Debut: FaxTrolla
 
  • Question of the Week from: Outback Jack
    • Since Bobby Lashley is being pushed as a new Ahmed Johnson, do you think he'll try and convince them to give him a title shot based on his rankings in PWI Magazine? No sold.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Haunted Edition:
    JR's battered ass.
    That was so painful. My poor
    eyes felt sodomized.
 

Minisode #009 At the Feed Market

by iggy



October 21, 2005

Grocery stores used to have video rental sections.
Ricky Morton is in jail.
Tajiri's wife can't get a driver's license.
The Boogeyman debuted.

#static #wee tot

009 Gimmicks Galore: October 21, 2005

Gimmicks Galore
(29 minutes)

Blade's beard makes funny noises.

The award winning Question of the Week from Dwarf Action involves Toni Braxton. Blade is not related to her (which is good), but he then says he is in fact the son of former professional boxer Dwight Braxton, now Dwight Muhammad Qawi. This would seem factual...except that around the time that Blade would be born, Dwight was in prison. So, either Blade is not really speaking the truth...or he needs to make a Maury Povich reference.

Speaking of Christmas... RD went to the feed market to get grub. The first WrestleCrap book is going out of print.

Time for some Obscure Wrestling News: one half of the Rock N Roll Express, Ricky Morton, is in jail for missing child support payments. Tajiri's wife is lonely and keeps failing her driving test. Lex Luger was cleaning animal cages as part of his community service sentence.

Taking the concept of 'beating the clock' literally.

RD would rather watch the Colts lose by 85 points than listen to Nipple H. Boogeyman, or Boogey Maul, debuted and he hates clocks. The midget division is being formed and Super Porky has been called up.


This Haiku:
The Boogeyman's here.
He wears a big plastic heart.
He has stolen mine.
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • Salt to my Peppa, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 10. People who sing songs I don’t know, Christmas (4), wives being at home (2), people having to clean up feces, literally crappy, crappy
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Mr. Ed, Movie rentals in grocery stores
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  0.

  • Ashley Massaro references:  4

  • Debut: Obscure Wrestling News
 
  • Question of the Week from: Dwarf Action
    • So seeing an obvious resemblance: are Blade and Toni Braxton brother and sister? No sold.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    The Boogeyman's here.
    He wears a big plastic heart.
    He has stolen mine.
 

Minisode #008 Hacksaw Flips a Bus

by iggy



October 14, 2005

Halloween costumes
Boo Berry, Kaboom, Quisp, and King Vitaman
Hacksaw raced a bus.
RD can't give away the Dusty Rhodes book.

#cockahoop #junkyard feel

008 Naming Nicknames: October 14, 2005

Naming Nicknames
(32 minutes)

INNOCENT, NUTRITIOUS FUN
WrestleCrap Radio is like a junkyard.

WrestleCrap is holding a contest for the worst WrestleCrap Halloween costume. RD's favorite is one guy as the Ultimate Warrior with everyone else in the picture ignoring him.

RD's found Boo Berry at just about every grocery store close to him. Blade says King Vitamin should be renamed King Pedophile due to his creepy appearance.

Strike Force will reunite for an indy Halloween show. "Scary" Sherri Martel always scared RD.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan flipped over a bus at a charity bus race. Blade finds fault with this.

This podcast is considered the "USA Today of wrestling podcasts". I find fault with this.

Matt Hardy's new girlfriend is Ashley Massaro and not Alexis Laree, thankfully. Blade says he'll wrestle Nicole Bass if the Detroit Lions lose more games than the Colts this season. Last year Blade lost and had to watch One Night in Chyna. Blade dreamed of sharing muffins with Raven, but doesn't get into much more than mentioning it.

Update on the Dusty Rhodes book: a change of mind has kept it on the shelf. Question of the Week from Evil Master Betty: Following Jim Cornette's rule that an angle can be re-used after seven years, what angles would you like to see re-used? Blade wants to see that White Hummer return. RD meanwhile wants Evil JR to bring out fake wrestlers.

Speaking of JR, rumors abound that he's leaving Raw. The Co-Hosts don't really believe them, even more so when they hear WWE wants a replacement announcer with no wrestling experience but a desire for lots of money. Blade reveals his favorite announce team: Superstar Billy Graham, Lord Alfred Hayes, and Sean Mooney. Speaking of Charlie Minn...

Raw had plenty of McMahons, such as Nipple H.

Seventeen Syllables of Fun:
Stephanie now blond.
She kinda looks like Britney,
a pregnant Britney.
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Lamont Sanford to my Fred Sanford, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 17. Charlie Minn, Charlie Minn (2) or Brian Knobbs, him, not Charlie Minn, Halloween (2), things that probably not fare well in test markets, frightening (2), Nicole Bass, Charlie Minn (3), Charlie Minn (4) and horrible announcers, Charlie Minn (5), ugly
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Sanford & Son, King Vitamin
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  0.

  • Mickie James references: 2 (as Alexis Laree)
  • Ashley Massaro references:  8
  • Trish Stratus references: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Evil Master Betty
    • The WWE at No Mercy just reused a burning casket angle from the Kane-Taker feud back in 1998, only this time Orton is burning Taker alive. I guess Cornette was right. Which angle from seven years ago or longer would you like to see redone but only crappier than last time? Blade: the mysterious White Hummer. RD: Evil JR.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Stephanie now blond.
    She kinda looks like Britney,
    a pregnant Britney.
 

Minisode #007 Koko's Stuffed Bird

by iggy



October 7, 2005

Koko B. Ware charges extra to bring the bird.
Call it Impact Wrestling

#retailer lingo #inspector braxton

007 Flipping a stuffed bird: October 7, 2005

Flipping a stuffed bird
((( recorded in low phone-buzzing fidelity ))) (29 minutes)

RD dreamed he was on Hogan Knows Best and Brooke had some magic wand (a dildo?). He also read a masochistic book from some guy with a menial grocery-based job. More Boo Berry talk.

TNA's name sucks. Blade wants to call them TeNAy instead.

Raw's highlight hour of their homecoming special reminded RD that the show used to be good. Linda McMahon is a terrible in-ring actress. Kevin Von Erich was at Raw.

RD says the Dusty Rhodes book has been accepted by last weeks' question of the week "winner." This week's from Kamala Balboa is about Koko's stuffed bird on Raw and whether it would be auctioned off. Koko also demands extra for the bird for wrestling appearances.

Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Koko with stuffed bird.
Judging by Hunter's physique,
Trips ate the real bird.
 
 
 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Bodacious Bart to my Bombastic Bart, Mr. Blade Braxton 
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Fandango, Pro Wrestling Premier
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Something that is cool
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Happy Days, ABC After-school Special
  • I didn’t even know he was sick:  0.

  • Ashley Massaro references:  1
  • Tammy Sytch references: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Kamala Balboa
    • What do you think the chances of Koko's fake parrot from Raw being auctioned off on wwe.com are? I could totally see them doing it and I could totally see me buying it.
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Koko with stuffed bird.
    Judging by Hunter's physique,
    Trips ate the real bird.

Minisode #006 WWE Hatchet-Jobs the Ultimate Warrior

by iggy



September 30, 2005

Dream Corner with Blade
The Ultimate Warrior DVD

#beeped us out #itinerary