Minisode #035 Life Savers Tizzy

by iggy

July 28, 2006

RD complains about Life Savers changing its basic flavors.
The Big Nippled Vampire was first named Areola

#no pineapple #no lime

035 Real Angry: July 28, 2006

Real Angry
(54 minutes)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:06): RD's favorite flavor of Life Savers has been replaced.

Obscure Wrestling News (:12): Vince has bought an indoor tennis facility for his mother's hometown, which the sources have no idea what state it is in. Chris Kanyon was dropping the puck at the Gay Games. Sad News: Spirit Squad was sent back to Triple A. (:17)

Mail Bag (:21): Insecticidal Andy Duke thinks the Deever is a secret Kryptonian. (:26) Speculation ensues on whether JBL is a secret third co-host of the show. 'Damn' asks about combined bad gimmicks. (:30) RD is worried his son will one day find out about and listen to the show. He also wanted to be the next Weird Al at one point; Blade meanwhile wanted to play Jason at a donkey show. Bob Dhalstrom has his own ideas for the company to follow on, one of which involves Gene Snitsky and Stephanie McMahon. (:34)

J.T. Tinny with unnamed person
Random people fell victim of the Wellness Policy, including Thumbnail-toothed Great Khali-Collie. This angers RD for some reason. (:35) The Diva Search made Blade hit the bottle this week. (:44) Blade talks loudly, unaware that the talky end of the phone receiver acts as a microphone. JT Titty should tag with Areola, the tarot card reader. (:47)  ECW has DQs in "Extreme Rules" matches. Mike Knox, Mr. Charisma. I can't hear RD beneath the music.

Seventeen Syllables of the Weekly Wrestling Haiku
Flair, Undertaker,
then Kane. E C Dub, Extreme
Crossover Wrestling.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The liver to my elevated enzymes, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, The Wrestling Observer pg. 12
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 7. People who are jerk offs, sucking, getting spanked and put to bed, getting in touch with people, one of our 12 listeners, The Diva Search, retarded
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Maude, Jack Lalane, Dirty Dancing
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  • F-Bombs: 1. Blade
  • Ashley Massaro References:  2
  • Trish Stratus References:  3
  • Shelly Martinez References:  9
  • Mailbag
    • Insecticidal Andy Duke: Dear Real Deal and Bladerick Brakestown, it has come to my attention that one of the Diva Search contestants is named Layla L, the one with the curly hear. Her name is Layla L, much like Superman who was named Kal-El. Mr. Brakestown, do you think she used her super Krypton powers to win the Diva Boot Camp? Could this be a future gimmick much like Christy being on crystal meth, and Ashley being a Hot Topic hobo? Also could you mention the Cidal Squad on the air? JBL, don't steal our gimmick man.
    • 'Damn': If you could combine two crappy gimmicks into one, what would they be? I would combine the Zombie with 3 Count and ripoff Thriller in every match he was in. Blade: Summerslam 88 Elizabeth with Naked Mideon.
    • Bob Dhalstrom: So since Stephanie has had her baby girl, am I the only one who sees dollar signs in a Stephanie-Snitsky feud? It is what it is.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Flair, Undertaker,
    then Kane. E C Dub, Extreme
    Crossover Wrestling.

Minisode #034 Blade Hits the Bottle

by iggy

July 14, 2006

Blade Hits the Bottle when CM Punk tells him not to.
RD doesn't understand gift cards.
Blade envies RD's Trip to the Grocery and jumps on the bandwagon.
Krankor debuts.

#the deever #jt titty

034 Diva Debacle: July 14, 2006

Krankor hits the Bottle with JT Titty
(63 minutes)

RD's Trip to the Grocery: Wal-Mart has restaurant gift cards. (:09)
Blade's Trip to the Grocery: "pasta in sauce with beef and chicken hot dogs with beef."

Faxtrolla semi-exclusive news (:14): boo-rah. The Miz wants Johnny Fairplay to come to ECW. DDP is taking his Yoga for Regular Guys on tour.

Mail Bag: Smash Bradley asks how to actually implement Siamese twin wrestlers. (:23) Krankor's laugh is used in response. Extreme K of Fort Mike Knox thinks of putting The Great Collie in a dog outfit and placing him in dog shows. (:27) Sausagesandwich is one of their 'many fans, of whom I know none', who has a thing for punching the Miz. (:30)

SmackDown is looking retro, with Tatanka and caskets and midgets and kings. (:34) A Punjabi Prison match was announced and Michael Cole said it would be in the jungle. (:36) Candice Michelle was sent to ECW to teach Kelly Kelly how to strip. (:39) Big Show's hands are now cannonballs and his head is a bowling ball. CM Punk doesn't like drinking, so Blade hit the bottle. (:44)
Miz's hosting of the Diva Search segment was pure wrestlecrap. (:48)  Hopeful Layla said she wanted to be the Deever, so she will now be called that. Another candidate (Maryse) used her impenetrable Quebec accent to be an 'air-flying diva', another (Robecca) tried to pepper spray the ring, and another (Molina) looks too much like Ashley Massaro.

Miz called one contestant JT Titty.

The Haiku:
Moronic Divas.
How will this class top last year's?
Leave it to Deever.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The Jack to my Daniels, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Global Internet
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 11. Last week, last week’s show, The Miz, mounting Chloe and doing her doggystyle, bags, reaching down into my bag, my bag, sodomy overtones, the elderly, transvestite, chesticles
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 1. Nancy Reagan
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Nancy Reagan
  • Debut: Krankor Laughs: 9
  • Ashley Massaro References:  4
  • Mailbag
    • Smash Bradley: Hello dear lords of Crapsalot. I've pondered this question and got several answers. If there were a set of Siamese twins (explain what a Siamese twin is: one set of legs, two torsos), would they be considered a single wrestler or a tag team? And if you pick a tag team, how would the tags work? Be careful if you read this, because John Laurenitis might go on the hunt. Krankor: HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA. HA.
    • Extreme K: I am writing to you from Fort Mike Knox where the nation's supply of Art Donovan approved bathroom scales are stored. I think it would be an awesome idea if you put the dog exterior from the Shaggin' Wagon on the Great Khali and renamed him the Great Collie, and then you could proceed to enter him in the Westminster Dog Show. My question to both of you: would Daivari's bitch win, and do you think the Dog Show would once again preempt Raw just for the sake of giving Smackdown a quick upper hand in the brand extension, in terms of rating and publicity? Blade: Mounting Chloe, Torrie Wilson's dog.
    • Sausagesandwich: I live in England and have to say that I am one of your many, many fans, of whom I know none. Your radio show never ceases to amuse and offend me. I have two questions, both are well urgent. Number one: if you had the choice, would you punch Miz in the face one time as hard as you could, or ten times at medium force? Personally I would punch him just once, then kick him in the balls, but to each his own. Number two: If you were to be in WWE, and were allowed to choose your own gimmick on the grounds that it made Wrestlecrap, what would it be? Myself, I like the idea of the One Headed Man. Blade: Slap my Miz around twenty times. No sold.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Repeat Gooker alert!
    Moronic Divas.
    How will this class top last year's?
    Leave it to Deever.

Minisode #033 Fake Laughs

by iggy

July 7, 2006

Johnny Ace steals RD's ideas
WWE commentators' fake laughs
The Nathan Jones rumor
Exterminator gimmick
The Mail Bag
Mike Knox, Mr. Bodyslam

#goof or somethin' #give it a squeeze

033 Hapenis is a Warm Pun: July 7, 2006

Hapenis is a Warm Pun (The Terrible Twelve Listeners)
(55 minutes)

True love...has yet to be found.
RD thinks someone is using his ideas because Kelly is now Kelly Kelly. Speaking of Joey and Joey Joe Joe Taz Joe Joe Taz... RD hates the WWE broadcasters' fake laughter.

The ECW Zombie couldn't make it.

Obscure Wrestling News (:08): It's spelled FAXTrolla not FACTSTrolla. Rumored-lactator Nathan Jones is going to be in a movie. RD has man-boobs. Sad News: a former centerfold has dropped out of the Diva Search before it's even begun. (:17) RD suggests WWE sell blow-up dolls of the contestants.

Premiere of the Mail Bag, with music (:21): Blade would replace his head with Shawn Michaels' head thanks to a question from Barnes. Big Show has skillets for hands. Cris asks about combining favorite bad angles. (:24) RD wears a Dungeon of Doom shirt. Questioner Jens is searching for Brian Clark. (:26) Nitro Hollick, who likes the show, asks something about the Fabulous Rojeaus. (:30) Sad News, thanks to The Disciple of Bruti: bottom-feeder Johnny Parisi has been released. (:36) Speaking of hiring someone's penis...

According to Blade, the podcast loses 2 listeners every week from their original pool of 12, and now half of them are going to be offended and lost to them.

RD wrote an open letter to Trish Stratus. New induction: Norman Smiley, backyard champion. Next week's induction is WWF's million dollar chance.
Ms. Stratus kicks a woman in the face.
Shawn Michaels: Degenerate with morals. At that point in Raw, Blade turned to the bottle. (:39) Vince knows who Darth Vader is, which is not Barry White. ECW sucks. Mike Knox can body-slam like nobody's business. (:45)

Seventeen Syllables of Love:
RVD's busted.
Robby should've just said no.
Now we're stuck with Show.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The Kelly to my Kelly, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Global Internet
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 13. Joey, things that don’t get old, having white stuff on your chest, being males of the species (2), Carmella, popping a cherry, hiring someone’s penis, child molesters, losing listeners, things that are sad, horrible, things you want to pee on
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 1. Yugoslavia
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Trish Stratus References:  4
  • Debut: Mailbag
    • Barnes: Dear Deal and Blade, if you were to change one of your body parts into something else, what body part would you replace, and what would the object be? Personally, I'd change one of my hands into the head of an alligator to bite and gobble my enemies. Blade: Head with Shawn Michaels'. RD: Hand with big skillet. 
    • Cris: Out of all the Wrestlecrappy gimmicks and storylines, Mr. Brakestown, which do you personally like and which do you personally hate? The Black Scorpion. Dungeon of Doom. 
    • Jens: Yo guys, was great to see your burial of the Adam Bomb gimmick brought up, and your mention of Brian Clark being a decent enough worker. Apparently he has fallen off the face of the earth ever since Kronik went nowhere in WCW. Do you know what happened to Brian Clark?  Lot of penis jokes on this show this week. Probably working with a skillet right now.
    • Nitro Hollick: Hey Deal and Blade, great show. I listen to it all the time at work. A question for you: were the Fabulous Rojeaus really that fabulous? They should have been mediocre or somewhat fabulous. (Real answer: Yes.)
    • The Disciple of Bruti: Dear RD and Blade, I honestly hope you are ashamed of yourselves. You claim to dig down with obscure wrestling news and even have a segment called Sad News, yet you miss the most important piece of sad and obscure news of the past decade: the release of Johnny Parisi. Johnny is the only man to hold the bottom spot of the roster since day one of his career in WWE and he didn't even get a honorable mention on the show. I'm very disappointed in both of you. In fact, I'M PISSED NOW!  Sad News: Johnny Parisi has been released.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    RVD's busted.
    Robby should've just said no.
    Now we're stuck with Show