Minisode #028 RD Calls It

by iggy



April 28, 2006

Goodbye, Palmer Cannon
God will no-show this Sunday because it is his day off.
Demolition Blast
WWE's ECW will not be ECW as you knew it.
Haiku with intro

#not that close #utterly confused

028 WoodstockCrap Radio (IN 3-D!!!): April 28, 2006

The Woodstock Edition of WCR (IN 3-D!!!)
((( recorded in Atari 2600 noise fidelity ))) (31 minutes)

The ECW name will return as a show. Hogan movies suck, even in 3D. (:01) RD tires of Blade co-hosting and wants people to apply for the job.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:06): RD has startling news that Trix changed to fruit shapes, which happened in 1992. [Trix returned to fruity balls in late 2007.] Speaking of fruity balls...

Sad News (:10): JBL has chased away another man. Blade and RD will take the next month to write the third WrestleCrap book which is to be released in eighteen months. RD loves Blade.

Obscure Wrestling News: Paul Ellering has written a book. RD wonders if it'll be available in braille. (:14) Speaking of staying warm with your bitch in the snow... Both Demolition members have signed deals for action figures. (:18) Speaking of Verne Gagne's wad... Brock Lesnar can wrestle in Japan. His girlfriend has a shrunken head. (:21)

GET YER BONDAGE DOLLS!!

Vince McMahon booked God for the next PPV but you know God ain't gonna be there. Sunday is his day off. (:23)

Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku (for all you non geeks nerds and poindexters):
E C Dub is back.
Beating a dead horse? More like
banging a dead corpse.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Vern to my Earnest, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 10. Things taste are not ironic, things that are great, things in 3-D popping out at you, fruity balls, staying warm with your bitch in the snow, Verne Gagne’s wad, wad, Verne Gagne’s wad (2), being utterly confused, Francine
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Jaws 3D, George Burns
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 2. George Burns, Al Issacs

  • RD Time Outs: 1

  • Question of the Week from: N/A
 
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    E C Dub is back.
    Beating a dead horse? More like
    banging a dead corpse.
 

Minisode #027 RD Can't See

by iggy



April 21, 2006

RD has nerd glasses, and goes to the eye doctor.
Paul Ellering's eyes froze.

#really good read on your eyes #20/100 vision

027 Cornmeal Frosties: April 21, 2006

Cornmeal Frosties
(37 minutes)

Blade weighs 240 pounds and puts the vision of himself naked in RD's head.

RD's Trip to the Eye Doctor segment bombs lower than his eyesight. He believes his listeners all live in Unabomber-style shacks. (:02)

There's a new segment, with music: Sad News. (:09) Paul Ellering races Ididerod dogs and he fell asleep and his eyeballs froze. RD wants you to call fine young egg Dave Meltzer in the middle of the night to ask him random wrestling questions. He also calls his teletype machine a FaxTrolla. [A company is born.]

, Mr. Ellering aided a blind woman in the previous year's race.

Obscure Wrestling News (:15): Simon Cowell, producer of some early WWF albums. Blade reveals his Front Yard Boxing Association 'title'. (:20) Speaking of Tatanka's mom's openings... Pat Tanaka is offering Judo lessons. Ivan Koloff is offering Jesus lessons. (:22)

No Question of the Week will be answered this week because both Co-Hosts are lazy.

Trish Stratus exists, but not to Blade who prefers her as a blond. (:25) He would bolt up for an evening for Mickie James instead, who looks like her clone. His mobile phone rings in response against this, which RD doesn't edit out for some reason. RD named his unit Jack and the Curlie Q's. (:30) He also went to Sam Goody's which is going out of business due to overpricing its videos.

Get Ready:
McMah'nism, huh?
May Vince soon be crucified
on a grapefruit tree.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The go cart Mozart to my checking the weather chart, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 0.
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 7. Not being able to see, doing this blind or deaf or something, Tatanka’s momma’s openings, Hell (2), your grandpappy, grandpappy, nickname for our genitalia, RD’s unit, RD’s penis, RD’s wang, getting away from my penis
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Sam Goody, records, DVDs
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • F-Bombs: 1. Blade.

  • Debut: Sad News (with music)

  • Trish Stratus References: 9
  • Mickie James References: 3

  • Question of the Week from: N/A
     
    • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
      McMah'nism, huh?
      May Vince soon be crucified
      on a grapefruit tree.
     

    Image by Neil Sama

    Minisode #026 Bladey Went A-Courtin'

    by iggy



    April 14, 2006

    Blade is at WrestleCrap HQ
    RD & Blade watched The Cat in the Hat.
    RD & Blade went to the comic book store, the video store, and the grocery.
    The Trip to the Grocery gets music.
    "Mama's Family"

    #dark cloud #a dozen copies of the Fat Albert movie

    026 The He-Man Peep Show: April 14, 2006

    The He-Man Peep Show
    ((( recorded in basement-echo fidelity ))) (38 minutes)

    Blade Braxton is live in studio. His lateness prevented them from attending the funeral home Easter Egg Hunt so they watched Cat in the Hat instead. They also saw Slammed. Blade and RD spent time together in a comic book store where Blade had a little accident with his unit.

    Thumbs Up, Giant Guy!
    RD's and Blade's Trip to the Grocery, now with music (:11): Blade got Boo Berry and King Pedophile cereals.

    Obscure Wrestling News: Ken Patera is available for motivational speeches. (:15) Boogeyman was hiding his gimmick during his WrestleMania trip. (:17) Steve McMichael was banned from WrestleMania, most likely due to all the bad angles he's been involved in. Some time is wasted with Candice Michelle and her chiropractic husband just to mention planetchiropractic.com. (:20) The Question of the Week from Angus McCloud regards favorite Mama's Family episodes. (:23) A video store had many unsold copies of Fat Albert: The Movie. Randy Orton was suspended for sixty days.

    The Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    RKO is gone.
    Shit related? Yeah, for shit-
    ting on my Fridays.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

     

    • The Mad Man Jeff to my Dorky manager Jeff, Mr. Blade Braxton
    • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1.  Little & Sons Funeral Home
    • URLs not taken: 0.
    • SPEAKING OFs: 11. Putting the fun in funeral, Cat in the Hat, that, tripping on acid, giant turds, something that is my thing, dumps (2), homoerotic touching, Jesus, things that are not boring.
    • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
    • Outdated references: 12. Slammed!, David Koresh, tripping on acid, Mama’s Family, Family Feud, Richard Dawson, Movie Gallery, Philip Michael Thomas, Eddie and the Cruisers, Lee Majors, Six Million Dollar Man, Lee Majors
    • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

    • Ken Patera References: 7

    • Question of the Week from: Angus McCloud
      • With the current state of the WWE and TNA and the uprising of smaller indie feds, such as Ring of Honor and Combat Zone Wrestling, there's one question that still plagues my mind: what's your favorite episode of Mama's Family? Family Feud. 
     
    • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Poop is gross.
      RKO is gone.
      Shit related? Yeah, for shit-
      ting on my Fridays.
     

    Minisode #025 Easter Egg Hunt at the Funeral Home

    by iggy



    April 7, 2006

    The old inductions were short.
    White Castle's meals for Lent
    RD's hillbilly-filled Wal-Mart
    Kids hunt for eggs at the funeral home.

    #he was happy #fish nibblers

    025 Komedy with a capital K: April 7, 2006

    Komedy with a capital K
    (47 minutes)

    Blade's pants are a mystery.

    RD says the old inductions mostly suck. Last week's callers were revealed. Heel RD needs to return. Blade and RD will meet for the first time soon.

    RD's trip to the hillbilly Wal-Mart (:09): For Blade's arrival, RD has purchased Boo Berry. RD has lost 25 pounds since January 1. RD has been told that there will be an Easter Egg Hunt at a local funeral home, and it's the third annual. (:15) Jokes about hunting for hairy testicles are made.

    Eyewitness testimony from Dr. Keith Lipinski that WrestleMania 21 sucked. (:18)

    Obscure Wrestling News: Ricky Morton was in a car wreck. (:32) Nikolai Volkoff is attempting to get into politics, but he cannot escape his wrestling past. (:34) RD suggests he team up with the Iron Sheik and do things the old country way. Barry Darsow signed a Legends contract. Question of the Week from Shark Boy Fan: something about leprechauns and toadstools. These questions are really light in being actual 'questions'. (:39)

    Not Indianapolis to be sure, but a remarkable simulation.

    Blade Brakestown's Wrestling Haiku:
    Forget old Conan.
    Here's Triple-H as Gonad
    the Barbarian.
     
     
     
    Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

     

    • Xena to my Hercules? Mr. Blade Brakes-town
    • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Harry Simon as Lee Marshall and John Thomas, Mrs. Deal as Peaches, D. Burgan as Scott Epstein, Dr. Keith Lipinski as Jack Arnold, Chris Thomas as Lang
    • URLs not taken: 0.
    • SPEAKING OFs: 4. Porn that relates to shit-eating, last week's show, STDs, phlegm, Wrestlemania, Triple H looking like a Moe
    • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
    • Outdated references: 3. He-Man, King Cobra, Colt 45, Billy D. Williams
    • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

    • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Dr. Keith Lipinski
     
    • F-Bombs: 2. Dr. Keith Lipinski (2)


    • Trish Stratus References:  2
    • Mickie James References:  5

    • Question of the Week from: Shark Boy Fan
      • Hi guys. The other night I had a weird dream in which you and RD were living together. You had a big garden with a huge toadstool, and you ate whilst you were recording WrestleCrap Radio. So I was just wondering if you eat whilst recording your very entertaining radio program. P.S. you were wearing leprechaun outfits. No.
     
    • Blade Brakestown’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Hunter and the MOTU!!!
      Forget old Conan.
      Here's Triple-H as Gonad
      the Barbarian.
     

    Minisode #024 Peaches and John Thomas

    by iggy



    March 31, 2006

    Lee Marshall checks in from the Nitro Party.
    Peaches calls.
    John Thomas calls.

    #1-800-collect #orange hair

    (024) Real Time with Real Deal: March 31, 2006

    Real Time with Real Deal
    (40 minutes)

    Alas, Bobby Heenan did not call via Banana Phone
    RD and Blade open up the 'phone lines'.

    (There's also a 'special edit' of the show by "Superbrawl Psycho" wherein RD and Blade talk to famous WrestleCrap Meme-ers. It's somehow actually funnier than the real thing.)

    Long-Winded Haiku:
    What a crappy show.
    Lee Marshall, dumbass callers.
    Yo, April Fools' Day.
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     

     

     

     

     

     Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

     

    • April Fools
    • The Big Boss Man to my Akeem, Mr. Blade Braxton
    • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. 1-800 Collect, Chase Meridan Mastercharge
    • URLs not taken: 1. DidTheUltimateWarriorDie.com
    • SPEAKING OFs: 0.
    • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
    • Outdated references: 5. Peter Gabriel, 1-800 Collect, Boomer Esiason, A-Ha, Big Country, 1-800 Collect (2)
    • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

    • "Phone Calls & Run Ins": 11. Lee Marshall, Peaches, Jon Thomas, Scott Epstein, Lee Marshall (2), Jon Thomas (2), Jack Arnold, Jon Thomas (3), Lee Marshall (3), Lane Thomas, Verne Gagne
     
    • F-Bombs: 4. Blade, Blade, Blade, Blade

    • Question of the Week from: N/A
     
    • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
      What a crappy show.
      Lee Marshall, dumbass callers.
      Yo, April Fools' Day.