by iggy
December 15, 2006
Custom Cornhole Games all over Indiana
Lupita
RD's santa story
Little Debbie Xmas Trees were gone.
RD receives the HorseTrolla
Francine un-retired.
Dr. Keith sent a magazine.
Blade and RD exchange gifts.
#corn-filled pouch #attackin'
047 A Cornhole Christmas: December 15, 2006
A Cornhole Christmas
((( recorded in audio-skipping fidelity ))) (69 minutes)
RD finally tells his Santa story he promised a year before, where he found out that Santa was black and had numerous clones. (:09) The audio keeps skipping for some reason.
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:16): You can get free WWE shipping through the code BEHIND. Little Debbie Xmas snacks are sold out. Blade is confused by buffalo wing potato chips. RD's manly friend thinks the food is too spicy at Chuck-E-Cheese.
Obscure Wrestling News (:26): Trish Stratus will be a celebrity cop. Cornholes are popular in Indiana. Tatanka hates Thanksgiving. "Thanks for nothing!" he protests.
RD receives the Horsetrolla. (:37) It tells us that Francine is out of retirement already.
Dr. Keith sent RD crap from the WWE Shop Zone: a magazine about Lita "hornier than ever", an inflatable shillelagh, and a Divas snow globe.
The 2006 Gooker nominees are named. (:47) They are the return of ECW, the Exploitation of Eddie Guerrero, Shawn Michaels tag teaming with God, the 2006 Diva Search, TNA cross-promoting with Jackass, Tim White's attempted suicides, Fake Kane, Vince Russo's booking, Big Dick Johnson: Fat Male Stripper and the Punjabi Prison match. Blade on Eugene: "I want him to whip his cock out."
Blade receives a Twisted Sister Christmas, "Enormously Funny", a wide screen DVD of The Cat in the Hat and a Bossk action figure. RD got Batclips, Trish's Stratusfaction and Jack Frost (the 'horror' movie one, not the far scarier Michael Keaton one).
Xmas dogs are barking. RD mentions the empty box campaign, which children were a given a promissory note on Xmas Day, 1977. According to the commercial, "They'll be sent to you at home between February 1st and June 1st."
Xmas Haiku:
Christmas time is here.
The new induction taught us
Don't fuck your sister.
((( recorded in audio-skipping fidelity ))) (69 minutes)
RD finally tells his Santa story he promised a year before, where he found out that Santa was black and had numerous clones. (:09) The audio keeps skipping for some reason.
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:16): You can get free WWE shipping through the code BEHIND. Little Debbie Xmas snacks are sold out. Blade is confused by buffalo wing potato chips. RD's manly friend thinks the food is too spicy at Chuck-E-Cheese.
Obscure Wrestling News (:26): Trish Stratus will be a celebrity cop. Cornholes are popular in Indiana. Tatanka hates Thanksgiving. "Thanks for nothing!" he protests.
WHO WILL BE THE NEXT CORN HOLE CHAMPION? |
RD receives the Horsetrolla. (:37) It tells us that Francine is out of retirement already.
Dr. Keith sent RD crap from the WWE Shop Zone: a magazine about Lita "hornier than ever", an inflatable shillelagh, and a Divas snow globe.
The 2006 Gooker nominees are named. (:47) They are the return of ECW, the Exploitation of Eddie Guerrero, Shawn Michaels tag teaming with God, the 2006 Diva Search, TNA cross-promoting with Jackass, Tim White's attempted suicides, Fake Kane, Vince Russo's booking, Big Dick Johnson: Fat Male Stripper and the Punjabi Prison match. Blade on Eugene: "I want him to whip his cock out."
Blade receives a Twisted Sister Christmas, "Enormously Funny", a wide screen DVD of The Cat in the Hat and a Bossk action figure. RD got Batclips, Trish's Stratusfaction and Jack Frost (the 'horror' movie one, not the far scarier Michael Keaton one).
Xmas dogs are barking. RD mentions the empty box campaign, which children were a given a promissory note on Xmas Day, 1977. According to the commercial, "They'll be sent to you at home between February 1st and June 1st."
Xmas Haiku:
Christmas time is here.
The new induction taught us
Don't fuck your sister.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- Christmas
- The Pitch to my Lupita, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, WEW
- URLs not taken: 1. YuleLogForTrish.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 10. Uh, giving gifts, exchanging gifts, exchanging, uh; sighs, disappointments, and anticlimactic; behinds, Buffalo wings, Pre-Y Chu Hi, getting cornholed
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 2. Macy’s, Miracle on 34th Street
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 3. Blade, Blade, Blade
- Robotic Reindeer Laughs: 1
- Mickie James References: 4
- Trish Stratus References: 6
- Shelly Martinez References: 1
-
Christy Hemme References: 1
- Mailbag: N/A
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Christmas time is here.
The new induction taught us
Don't fuck your sister.
Minisode #046 Black Friday's Bedding Man
by iggy
December 1, 2006
Black Friday at Kohl's
"Good Times" and John Amos
Francine retired.
Centaur Mickie James is lifting the tail.
More wrestlers for the OVW box
#comfortable blankets #slipper slide
December 1, 2006
Black Friday at Kohl's
"Good Times" and John Amos
Francine retired.
Centaur Mickie James is lifting the tail.
More wrestlers for the OVW box
#comfortable blankets #slipper slide
046 Lifting the Tail: December 1, 2006
Lifting the Tail (Good Times)
(73 minutes)
Lions are 2-9. WrestleCrap Book of Lists is available for pre-order. Order it now, receive it nine months from now. Blade's authorial information is all wrong.
RD's Trip to African-American Friday II (:18): Bedding Man.
Obscure Wrestling News (:31): Kurt Angle is attempting to book one of his co-workers as filthy. Eric Young is in a bikini angle. Nipple H gives RD nightmares. Speaking of the mother from Good Times...Francine is finally gone. (:38) RD was never attracted to her, thinking of her as having a horse face. In response, Blade thinks of Mickie James as a centaur. (:43)
Mail Bag: Grappler Crappler writes to Real Deal Real Deal Reynolds about Ariel and her areolas. (:47) Captain Crow asks about the Hardy Boys together. (:51) A new Archive Disc is being made, hopefully for next year. (:54)
The Big Show may be retiring. (:56) The Hardy Boys are seeking challengers. Ashley Massaro will be posing in Playboy. (:61) More people should've been sent in the box with the Spirit Squad to OVW. Eugene is now a "heel retard". Childhood Blade saw a girl randomly saying "I ain’t got a pussy, I got a dick!" RD: "Worst show ever."
Seventeen Syllables for Your Pleasure:
Kramer and Cryme Time.
Hang me from a tree and stick
a fork in my eyes.
(73 minutes)
Lions are 2-9. WrestleCrap Book of Lists is available for pre-order. Order it now, receive it nine months from now. Blade's authorial information is all wrong.
RD's Trip to African-American Friday II (:18): Bedding Man.
Obscure Wrestling News (:31): Kurt Angle is attempting to book one of his co-workers as filthy. Eric Young is in a bikini angle. Nipple H gives RD nightmares. Speaking of the mother from Good Times...Francine is finally gone. (:38) RD was never attracted to her, thinking of her as having a horse face. In response, Blade thinks of Mickie James as a centaur. (:43)
Mail Bag: Grappler Crappler writes to Real Deal Real Deal Reynolds about Ariel and her areolas. (:47) Captain Crow asks about the Hardy Boys together. (:51) A new Archive Disc is being made, hopefully for next year. (:54)
A simple search will yield plenty of pics of Shelly Martinez's areolas (some featuring clothespins). |
Seventeen Syllables for Your Pleasure:
Kramer and Cryme Time.
Hang me from a tree and stick
a fork in my eyes.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- Black Friday
- The rosy cheeks to my bowl full of jelly, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 1. Global Internet
- URLs not taken: 3. BladeBraxtonSemiRetiredProWrestlerDoesntSuck.com, WrestleCrapRadioSucks.com, PoonTangCity.com
- SPEAKING OFs: 12. P.Y. Chu Hi, Last house on the left, which, P.Y. Chu Hui (2), uh ah, TNA, the mother from Good Times (2), Good Times, Democrap, nether regions, things that scare you
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 5. Michael Richards, Blockbuster Video, Arthur, Dudley Moore, Mr. Ed
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 2. P.Y. Chu Hi, Charles Schultz
- Entertain the People: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Ken Patera References: 2
- Mickie James References: 10
- Shelly Martinez References: 4
- Ashley Massaro References: 6
- Christy Hemme References: 2
- Mailbag
- Grappler Crappler: Dear the Real Deal Real Deal Reynolds and Blade Braxton, on the latest edition of Wrestlecrap Radio you discussed Ariel's new boobs and suggested she become Ariel Titty and form the Titties with JT Titty. From now on I suggest that Wrestlecrap simply refer to Ariel as Arieola. I'll go along with that.
- Captain Crow: Dear Mr. Reynolds and Mr. Brakestown, the best radio hosts in the world, I have two questions for you guys. What do you think of the Hardy Boys wrestling at December To Dismember? Does it feel like they are finally character linked to a brand if they went to ECW? It gives Matt something to do. Number two: is there any chance you guys will put the entire site including the awesome radio shows on CD again? Sometime in 2007 that will happen.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Kramer and Cryme Time.
Hang me from a tree and stick
a fork in my eyes.
Minisode #045 Roller Dogs
by iggy
November 17, 2006
Lumpy sure has grown.
Hot Dog roller and bun warmer.
The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express
#daphne #velma
November 17, 2006
Lumpy sure has grown.
Hot Dog roller and bun warmer.
The Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express
#daphne #velma
045 Banging with WrestleCrap: November 17, 2006
Banging with WrestleCrap
(68 minutes)
RD and Blade are watching TNA's first prime time show. (Unlike last time with the Diva Search though, it's in the background rather than the focus of the week.) They don't understand why there's a hole in the cage.
There were hobo-looking people waiting in line for the PS3's release. (:05) Blade's friend got kicked out for a PS2 when someone else wanted to have sex with him for it. (:09) [Don...Don Mason?]
RD and Blade have to remind us that they are in fact not dead. Unless they've been newly reanimated...
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:19): RD remembers the Star Wars Holiday Special. Hot Dog Roller is available. Blade informs RD of the Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express. "Hot juices exploded into my mouth!" (:27)
Obscure Wrestling News (:34): Stacy Keibler has been asked to go on the Dancing with the Stars road tour. RD was gifted a copy of Grandmasters of Wrestling Vol I. Blade got something about the Adam West Batman TV series. JT Titty is in contention in an online voting competition. (:43) Melly Mel is trying to get into the industry at the young age of 45. Blade "raps".
Mail Bag: DZ thinks the Co-Hosts should have been harder on Vince Russo for some reason. (:49) The Lone Ranger asks a varied question about Ariel's breasts. (:54) Brendan Crabb quoted the first WrestleCrap book in one of his university papers. Blade compares himself to Mike von Erich. (:56)
Survivor Series is coming and WWE wants you to be "banging with Ashley". (:59) RD reads down the card and gets stuck on Samoa Joe. "Please to explain." (:62) Vince's ass is available 'in cartoon form'.
Hot Dog Smore:
Vincent McMahon's ass.
He says that it can do tricks.
Make it disappear.
RD: "The finest advice I think I've ever heard on this here radio show."
(68 minutes)
RD and Blade are watching TNA's first prime time show. (Unlike last time with the Diva Search though, it's in the background rather than the focus of the week.) They don't understand why there's a hole in the cage.
There were hobo-looking people waiting in line for the PS3's release. (:05) Blade's friend got kicked out for a PS2 when someone else wanted to have sex with him for it. (:09) [Don...Don Mason?]
RD and Blade have to remind us that they are in fact not dead. Unless they've been newly reanimated...
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:19): RD remembers the Star Wars Holiday Special. Hot Dog Roller is available. Blade informs RD of the Deion Sanders Hot Dog Express. "Hot juices exploded into my mouth!" (:27)
Obscure Wrestling News (:34): Stacy Keibler has been asked to go on the Dancing with the Stars road tour. RD was gifted a copy of Grandmasters of Wrestling Vol I. Blade got something about the Adam West Batman TV series. JT Titty is in contention in an online voting competition. (:43) Melly Mel is trying to get into the industry at the young age of 45. Blade "raps".
Mail Bag: DZ thinks the Co-Hosts should have been harder on Vince Russo for some reason. (:49) The Lone Ranger asks a varied question about Ariel's breasts. (:54) Brendan Crabb quoted the first WrestleCrap book in one of his university papers. Blade compares himself to Mike von Erich. (:56)
Survivor Series is coming and WWE wants you to be "banging with Ashley". (:59) RD reads down the card and gets stuck on Samoa Joe. "Please to explain." (:62) Vince's ass is available 'in cartoon form'.
Hot Dog Smore:
Vincent McMahon's ass.
He says that it can do tricks.
Make it disappear.
RD: "The finest advice I think I've ever heard on this here radio show."
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Scrappy to my Scooby, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Walmart
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 11. Passé, technology, the worlds biggest tard, all things that are holy, writing a list, five minute rest holds, 69, clips, wheelbarrows and anal cavities, things that are random, things I almost want to get faced with the ‘Final Solution’ on
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 5. Don Knotts, Starsky & Hutch, Miami Vice, Cher, Chaka Khan
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 1. Blade
- RD Time Outs: 1
- Shelly Martinez References: 3
- Ashley Massaro References: 3
- Mailbag
- DZ: Hey man, I listened to part 2 of the Vince Russo interview you guys had with him a while back and I had to ask: why were you guys such pussies? You didn't call him on all the stupid sh*t he did in WCW. He's very good at being emotional and he talks very well with the purpose of making you believe he's correct. I've heard all his interviews and I'm dying to hear an interview with him where people have the balls to tell him Vince it didn't make WCW any money. People don't do that.
- The Lone Ranger: In your opinion what is bigger: the number of injuries Mick Foley had in his career, the number of times Terry Funk retired, the Sun, or Ariel's new tatas? In my opinion it's a huge toss-up. I think she should have been Ariel Titty, JT's sister.
- Brendan Crabb: Loyal Australian Crapper for years here, I wrote to RD last year to let you know I referenced a quote from the first Wrestlecrap book in a sociology presentation I had done in university. The topic was that we as a society enjoy sports and entertainment because they are structured in a way that is nothing like our own lives. One of my examples was professional wrestling. Anyway, I'm sure the great literary mind of Mr. Reynolds has been of great inspiration to me and many other students around the globe. The question is, and Blade seeing as you're in the process of writing a book now your insight here would also be appreciated, if you had to compare yourself to a great literary figure of the past, who would it be and why? Blade as Michael von Erich writing his diary. RD as Fritz von Erich shouting at him.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Buttocks? Butt out!
Vincent McMahon's ass.
He says that it can do tricks.
Make it disappear.
Minisode #044 Corporal Kirchner: Dead or Alive
by iggy
November 3, 2006
Corporal Kirchner is like Schrodinger's Cat.
RD's story about giving a trick rather than a treat
RD dressed as Magnum P.I.
Corporal Kirchner calls.
Who's Becky?!
#no longer with us #super mustache
November 3, 2006
Corporal Kirchner is like Schrodinger's Cat.
RD's story about giving a trick rather than a treat
RD dressed as Magnum P.I.
Corporal Kirchner calls.
Who's Becky?!
#no longer with us #super mustache
044 What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?: November 3, 2006
What If...Corporal Kirchner was still alive?
(80 minutes)
Sad News: Corporal Kirchner died, according to WWE dot com.
Weird World of Wrestling has returned. Tease Club. RD doesn't like strip clubs because he was made fun of at one. (:12) RD talks about males being undressed at strip clubs. Blade remembers when his girlfriend called him for some random pictures of a wrestler she found on his computer.
In December, Rewriting the Book will debut. Jed Shaffer is on the phone to talk about it. (:20)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:31): RD plopped some ice cream in someone's bag. Fun-sized bars are not fun. Blade looks like a hobo. RD was Magnum PI this Halloween, complete with glue-on mustache.
Obscure Wrestling News (:41): 30000 dumb people have bought Brooke Hogan's CD. Egomania is heritable. Among their releases (:47) WWE will release a Rey Mysterio Jr DVD called the Biggest Little Man. WWE will release a Wrestling's Greatest Families DVD. Vampiro will release a DVD about Vampiro. [... in Canada.]
Mail Bag: Daisy Tweeter (WrestleCrap Listener #25) makes a Batista pun. (:53) Zack Gator wants Vickie Guerrero to appear in Playboy. (:55) RD explains James from Kentucky, who wants Vince's phone number. (:57)
RD's favorite wrestling show is now TNA. (:59) Vince Russo's Invitational Inverted Battle Royal: 15 men try to climb in, 7 men throw 5 out, and then a one on one match. The Boogeyman has returned.
Blade hit the bottle because Lita may leave WWE. (:67)
Corporal Kirchner calls "you horse's ass". He sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:70)
Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku:
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.
(80 minutes)
Sad News: Corporal Kirchner died, according to WWE dot com.
Weird World of Wrestling has returned. Tease Club. RD doesn't like strip clubs because he was made fun of at one. (:12) RD talks about males being undressed at strip clubs. Blade remembers when his girlfriend called him for some random pictures of a wrestler she found on his computer.
In December, Rewriting the Book will debut. Jed Shaffer is on the phone to talk about it. (:20)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:31): RD plopped some ice cream in someone's bag. Fun-sized bars are not fun. Blade looks like a hobo. RD was Magnum PI this Halloween, complete with glue-on mustache.
SERVED IN VIETNAM AT THE AGE OF -8 |
Mail Bag: Daisy Tweeter (WrestleCrap Listener #25) makes a Batista pun. (:53) Zack Gator wants Vickie Guerrero to appear in Playboy. (:55) RD explains James from Kentucky, who wants Vince's phone number. (:57)
RD's favorite wrestling show is now TNA. (:59) Vince Russo's Invitational Inverted Battle Royal: 15 men try to climb in, 7 men throw 5 out, and then a one on one match. The Boogeyman has returned.
Blade hit the bottle because Lita may leave WWE. (:67)
Corporal Kirchner calls "you horse's ass". He sounds an awful lot like John Thomas. (:70)
Corporal Kirchner's All American Haiku:
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Mike Von Erich to my Fritz Von Erich, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Madison Carter
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 7. Websites hosted by Global Internet, awesome guys, you being the man, wetting yourselves in joy, insecure, that, Hulk Hogan’s money
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 1. E.T. The Extraterrestrial on the Atari 2600
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Jed Shaffer, Corporal Kirchner
- F-Bombs: 4. Blade (3), Corporal Kirchner
- RD Time Outs: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- Mailbag
- Daisy Tweeter: Hello RD and Blade, WrestleCrap Radio Listener #25 here. My question is: since Batista is known as the Animal, and is currently doinking Rebecca DiPietro, does that mean she is in Batistiality? No need to answer.
- Zack Gator: Should Vickie Guerrero be the next WWE Diva to do Playboy? Blade subscribes to Plump magazine.
- James from Kentucky: Do you have Vince McMahon's home number? Because I keep phoning his office and he doesn't return my calls. P.S. could you say hi to my friend Alex in Puerto Rico? Hello Alex.
Blade Braxton’sCorporal Kirchner's All American Haiku: Corporal Kirchner fills in after murdering Sergeant Haiku Blade.
I'm Corporal Kirchner.
I'm fucking alive, not dead.
My career's dead. AAAHHHHH.
Minisode #043 Trash Talking
by iggy
October 13, 2006
Trash Losagin is on the line.
"Real Deal" Jack Diamond
Greg Valentine shares
#yo chico #jack of all trades
October 13, 2006
Trash Losagin is on the line.
"Real Deal" Jack Diamond
Greg Valentine shares
#yo chico #jack of all trades
043 Legends After-Party: October 13, 2006
Legends After-Party
(31 minutes)
Trash Losagain takes third mic, and second phone, for the first time.
The three went to the first WCWA legends show. A drunk Ed Leslie wanted to kick RD's ass. Koko B. Ware's High-Energy pants are no longer baggy. RD still has a crush on Tammy Sytch, who looked alright at the show. Molly Holly was extremely friendly. Jimmy Hart wanted to talk to RD. By request, Shark Boy did the Garvin Stomp and Top Rope Troy Miller did the Earthquake Splash. Johnny Fairplay read the first WrestleCrap book.
RD Reynolds' First-Ever Wrestling Haiku:
Hammer Valentine
Greg has new employment: Ci-
gar store Indian.
Greg Valentine on Transsexuals: "You can't stick it in as far."
(31 minutes)
POST-DIVORCE HHH IN TEN YEARS |
The three went to the first WCWA legends show. A drunk Ed Leslie wanted to kick RD's ass. Koko B. Ware's High-Energy pants are no longer baggy. RD still has a crush on Tammy Sytch, who looked alright at the show. Molly Holly was extremely friendly. Jimmy Hart wanted to talk to RD. By request, Shark Boy did the Garvin Stomp and Top Rope Troy Miller did the Earthquake Splash. Johnny Fairplay read the first WrestleCrap book.
RD Reynolds' First-Ever Wrestling Haiku:
Hammer Valentine
Greg has new employment: Ci-
gar store Indian.
Greg Valentine on Transsexuals: "You can't stick it in as far."
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Ax to my Smash, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, WCWA Legends Show
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 2. People putting on weight, someone who has their head shaved
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 6. The Gong Show, Make Me Laugh, The Gong Show (2), Rex Reed, Artie Johnson, Bob Braun
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Trash Losagain
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Tammy Sytch References: 3
Blade Braxton’sRD Reynolds' Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Hammer Valentine
Greg has new employment: Ci-
gar store Indian.
Minisode #042 Fired by FaxTrolla
by iggy
September 29, 2006
Bears, dogs, old ladies, and babies
Don't give New Jack a 7-Up.
RD already misses Trish.
The smartest man in the wrestling business is Kevin Nash.
Justin Credible was fired by fax machine.
RD gets serious for a moment about Kurt Angle.
#agitated #phlegmy
September 29, 2006
Bears, dogs, old ladies, and babies
Don't give New Jack a 7-Up.
RD already misses Trish.
The smartest man in the wrestling business is Kevin Nash.
Justin Credible was fired by fax machine.
RD gets serious for a moment about Kurt Angle.
#agitated #phlegmy
042 Fired by FaxTrolla: September 29, 2006
Fired by FaxTrolla
(61 minutes)
Blade has a question about Aquaman. RD has a phlegm disorder and is not in a good mood. Lord Alfred is asleep at the job. A new written feature on the site, Rewriting The Book, looks at 'what if?' wrestling scenarios. The Co-Hosts want you to watch Airplane! (:14)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Babies and animals are on the shrink-wrapped bag that holds your toilet paper even though they don't use it.
Obscure Wrestling News: Larry Zbysko is seeking to sell the rights to his biography for a movie. (:20) Rikishi was arrested by some US Marshals for not appearing in court for a hearing. RD and Trash Losagain will be at a Legends wrestling show in Kokomo. (:24) New Jack got into a fight at a concession stand due to someone mixing his drink. (:27)
Mail Bag (:35): Corey wonders on Russo's coming to TNA. Blade rambles. Bob thinks the Boogeyman should haunt TNA as the Closet Creature. Erik Majorwitz (2) still hasn't received Blade's prize. Blade makes excuses. (:40) M Lawson wants the Co-Hosts to have new nicknames. (:42)
Sad News: Trish was fired. (:43) RD sings and wants Blade to call him MC Scat Cat.
If Kevin Nash is ever hired by WWE again, RD will pronounce him the smartest man in wrestling. [WHELP, took him seven years.] On the other end of the scale, RD is amazed at how TNA makes some really stupid mistakes and is yet still around. (:47)
Kid Kash was fired. Justin Credible was fired via fax machine. (:51) RD suggests that Super Crazy get rid of his fax machine. Kurt Angle failed too many drug tests for the WWE, of all organizations, but TNA has hired him. RD dislikes that. (So I guess the honeymoon is over then?)
Seventeen Syllables of Kurt for you:
Six sides, one Angle.
Dixie forgot a ramp for
Kurt's future wheelchair.
(61 minutes)
Blade has a question about Aquaman. RD has a phlegm disorder and is not in a good mood. Lord Alfred is asleep at the job. A new written feature on the site, Rewriting The Book, looks at 'what if?' wrestling scenarios. The Co-Hosts want you to watch Airplane! (:14)
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:15): Babies and animals are on the shrink-wrapped bag that holds your toilet paper even though they don't use it.
Obscure Wrestling News: Larry Zbysko is seeking to sell the rights to his biography for a movie. (:20) Rikishi was arrested by some US Marshals for not appearing in court for a hearing. RD and Trash Losagain will be at a Legends wrestling show in Kokomo. (:24) New Jack got into a fight at a concession stand due to someone mixing his drink. (:27)
Mail Bag (:35): Corey wonders on Russo's coming to TNA. Blade rambles. Bob thinks the Boogeyman should haunt TNA as the Closet Creature. Erik Majorwitz (2) still hasn't received Blade's prize. Blade makes excuses. (:40) M Lawson wants the Co-Hosts to have new nicknames. (:42)
Sad News: Trish was fired. (:43) RD sings and wants Blade to call him MC Scat Cat.
SMARTEST MAN IN WRESTLING |
Kid Kash was fired. Justin Credible was fired via fax machine. (:51) RD suggests that Super Crazy get rid of his fax machine. Kurt Angle failed too many drug tests for the WWE, of all organizations, but TNA has hired him. RD dislikes that. (So I guess the honeymoon is over then?)
Seventeen Syllables of Kurt for you:
Six sides, one Angle.
Dixie forgot a ramp for
Kurt's future wheelchair.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Jana to my Zan, scratch that. The Zan to my Jana, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, WCWA Legends Show
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 11. Liquid, liquids, the book, subscribing to a newsletter, Larry Zybiskso, being arrested, fellow crappers, uh, someone who will probably getting pregnant in the near future, sourpuss, harmful to your health
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 1. SuperFriends
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 1. Mr. Whipple
- RD Time Outs: 3
- Blade Time Outs: 2
- Krankor Laughs: 1
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Tammy Sytch References: 2
-
Trish Stratus References: 4
- Mailbag
- Corey: Hey old buddy old pal RD Reynolds and Blade "Don't call me Brakestown" Braxton, my question is twofold. With the exciting announcement of Vince Russo coming to TNA to help punch up the creative aspect of the show, how do you think Impact will be changed? And after all the damage he's done to the two big federations, how do you suppose Vince Russo keeps convincing people that he's anything more than a bottomless money pit? So long and thanks for all the Krankor, Corey. Blade: Impact will smell like gasoline.
- Bob: Last week was a very sad week for a lot of Crappers especially myself, with WWE releasing one of my favorite wrestlers, the Boogeyman. And with Russo heading over to TNA I got to thinking: maybe he'd bring in the Boogeyman. So my question is if Russo brings in Boogeyman, could he use the name the Closet Creature? He would be the BooGayMan.
- Erik Majorwitz (2): Blade promised me a signed copy of Toxic Avenger. I still haven't received it. I've watched the Santa Claus Conquers the Martians DVD you sent me numerous times RD; thank you for your timely shipping. Perhaps I should contact John Thomas to get this matter sorted out. Erik is a great guy. [No argument there.] Blade makes excuses.
- M Lawson: Hello RD. My question for you is this: would you call yourself R2-D2 Reynolds for this week's radio show? Blade could be Blade Breakdance. No.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: The ADA isn’t happy with TNA’s lack of accessibility.
Six sides, one Angle.
Dixie forgot a ramp for
Kurt's future wheelchair.
Minisode #041 Good Friends Cereal
by iggy
September 22, 2006
The Boogeyman was released
Good Friends cereal
The original Repo Man
Vince Russo is back.
#enjoy #twigs
September 22, 2006
The Boogeyman was released
Good Friends cereal
The original Repo Man
Vince Russo is back.
#enjoy #twigs
041 Release The Boogeyman!: September 22, 2006
Boogeyman Released
(54 minutes)
Sad News: Boogeyman fired.
Blade's Trip to the Grocery (:09): Good Friends cereal sucks. Blade eats granola, flakes, and twigs in "fun dildo shapes the kids will enjoy."
Obscure Wrestling News (:17): RVD's comic book store closed. Kamala will sing at an event. WWE is suing rapper The Game for supposedly infringing on Sean Michael's name. Blade is reminded of porn star Sean Michaels, of Sean Bond fame. That is, if he can escape from his pit that is affecting his audio quality.
Mail Bag (:26): OT (2) questions technicalities. Aaron informs us that John Thomas and BM Punk now have Myspace pages too. (:30) "Maybe RD Reynolds wouldn't" let Iron Sheik humble him in the old country way. RD and Trash Losagain once met a drunk off his ass Sheik at WrestleMania VIII. Repo Man Barry Darsow was not the first wrestling repo man, according to Hobo Diablo. (:34)
WWE hired Brad Armstrong, among other old guys. (:36) Too Cold Scorpio has a big penis, "big and round as a dinner plate." (:39) WrestleCrap.com will not update in October so that Blade and RD can write more of the book. Blade hits the bottle out of happiness because Vince Russo is coming to TNA, which may be going head to head against Raw. (:47)
Seventeen Syllable Tribute to Our Good, Our Now Departed Friend, The Boogeyman.
He's the Boogeyman.
And he's...coming to get his
unemployment check.
(54 minutes)
Sad News: Boogeyman fired.
Have your friends over for breakfast. |
Obscure Wrestling News (:17): RVD's comic book store closed. Kamala will sing at an event. WWE is suing rapper The Game for supposedly infringing on Sean Michael's name. Blade is reminded of porn star Sean Michaels, of Sean Bond fame. That is, if he can escape from his pit that is affecting his audio quality.
Mail Bag (:26): OT (2) questions technicalities. Aaron informs us that John Thomas and BM Punk now have Myspace pages too. (:30) "Maybe RD Reynolds wouldn't" let Iron Sheik humble him in the old country way. RD and Trash Losagain once met a drunk off his ass Sheik at WrestleMania VIII. Repo Man Barry Darsow was not the first wrestling repo man, according to Hobo Diablo. (:34)
WWE hired Brad Armstrong, among other old guys. (:36) Too Cold Scorpio has a big penis, "big and round as a dinner plate." (:39) WrestleCrap.com will not update in October so that Blade and RD can write more of the book. Blade hits the bottle out of happiness because Vince Russo is coming to TNA, which may be going head to head against Raw. (:47)
Seventeen Syllable Tribute to Our Good, Our Now Departed Friend, The Boogeyman.
He's the Boogeyman.
And he's...coming to get his
unemployment check.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The ying to my yang and the Ko to my Tex, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Wizard of Oz Museum, Toto’s Tacos
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 4. Riots, our good old friends on MySpace, Repo Man, transsexual dinosaurs
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 1. MySpace
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- Krankor Laughs: 3
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
- Mailbag
- OT (2): On last week's radio show during the talk of Krypto, Blade went to call him a son of a bitch but he stopped himself to keep from swearing. However, he brings up a good point here. Since Krypto is a male dog, he would technically be a son of a bitch. So my question to you is would you allow Blade to refer to Krypto as a son of a bitch this week to make up for stopping himself last week? RJ Fletcher: Yes.
- Aaron: Dear RD and Mr. Brakestown, if the Iron Sheik offered to humble you in the old country way or any other way for free, wouldn't cost you a dime, would you let him? Trash Losagain might.
- Hobo Diablo: Dear radio hosts extraordinaire, this week I was evicted from my home. When the repo man came, he looked nothing like Barry Darsow, having neither the Lone Ranger mask or the rope. Was he an imposter and have I been duped? Was he instead Nasty Ned Brady?
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
He's the Boogeyman.
And he's...coming to get his
unemployment check.
Minisode #040 Banana.gif
by iggy
September 15, 2006
Hot dogs with bun.
Stoner Boo Berry is back.
Rafiki had to go eat some bananas.
Dr. Pepper and its imitators
#still enjoy eating it #cheekbones
September 15, 2006
Hot dogs with bun.
Stoner Boo Berry is back.
Rafiki had to go eat some bananas.
Dr. Pepper and its imitators
#still enjoy eating it #cheekbones
040 Banana Tapestry: September 15, 2006
Banana Tapestry
(68 minutes)
RD wonders why there hasn't been a serial killer gimmick. Although, Stone Cold Steve Austin did base his personality on a serial killer. RD has seen an Oklahoma City Bomber gimmick. (:03)
(68 minutes)
Sad thing is, she looks better here than in real life. |
Lord Alfred promotional considerations globalinternet.net. (:04) RD and Blade want you to get a URL from them so that you can get laid, particularly as they also have their entire URLs on large sized condoms. Unfortunately for RD he has a small penis.
RD's Trip to the Grocery: (:07) hot dogs packaged with buns. Blade is reminded of monster chili dogs.
Blade's Trip to the Grocery: (:10) Boo Berry's appearance has reverted to a stoner. This is good news for Blade, who had secretly hated the cereal until then.
Mr. Cosby, before Pudding Pops destroyed his soul. |
Mail Bag: (:23) Blade says, "Your bag is always special to me." Something about comic books and superheroes. RD says people on the forums want him to sing.
Nine people sent in messages about their experiences with a Chyna blanket. Marvel Pinguino Dickey "had a friend" buy one for his ex. Chris W made a foolish mistake buying it at Wal-Mart. Zach Harris "knew someone" who bought it to patch their broken down trailer. Terry McCarty has it hanging in his dining room. Timmy K knew a young girl who was a big fan of "the big girl with the belt" and thus bought one for her for $4 Canadian. Jeff "knew someone" who sold it for £1.50. And finally Josh Dunn used it for his unit. (One was disqualified for trying to bring up Bea Arthur's wig. Another vanished into the aether.)
Obscure Wrestling News: (:46) Francine is now attractive again, according to Vince. SPEAKING OF Chyna she made out with a porn star. The ECW Zombie wants booked. Molly Holly and Ivory will drive a Winnebago to Canada for Trish's wedding. Blade calls them tapestry munchers.
Blade hit the bottle when Rambo Greg Gagne was fired from OVW booking. (:53) RD sings a few lines of Dr Feelgood. RD names many Dr Pepper knock-offs. Kelly Kelly is dating Test, who is not a lesbian.
Seventeen Syllable Prescription for Your Andrew Test Martin Question:
Why do chicks dig Test?
Kelly's got the right answer.
He's got foot-long dong.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The Ricky to my Robert, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Charlie Smith
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 10. Penis references, trying to get into somebody’s pants, ugly, things that are truly ugly, first name basis, lesbians, people who aren’t lesbians, lesbians2 (3), crackwhore on the street
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 3. Tom Brokaw, Cher, Sonny Bono
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- Krankor Laughs: 2
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
- Zombie Growls: 2
- Trish Stratus References: 1
- Mailbag
- Marvel Pinguino Dickey: You and Mr. Brakestown are quite possibly the funniest two wrestling marks I have EVER heard in my life. And yes, even those old Johnny Polo quips don't top your stuff man. Anyhow, I have a friend who bought that tapestry for his ex-girlfriend. Why? I have no clue. In fact, I sometimes question him about whether she was his girlfriend, or if he was perhaps gay and dating a man dressed in drag much like the aforementioned Chyna. Seriously, are those supposed to be breasts? They more closely look like uncooked chicken thighs if you ask me. Anyhow, I thought you'd like to know. He didn't actually buy the thing.
- Chris W: I bought the Chyna blanket. I had a crush on Chyna in her WWF days. So one day I was shopping at Walmart, and I say a blanket with Chyna's face on it and I didn't hesitate to throw it in my cart. I can't say it was the best $9.95 I spent. That's a big mistake.
- Zach Harris: I didn't buy the Chyna blanket but I know someone who did. A friend of mine who lived in a broken down trailer with all of the windows to the bedroom were broken out so he bought the cheapest thing he could to cover up the windows. That of course being a Chyna blanket along with an Undertaker blanket. It may be worth mentioning that my friend never watched wrestling and had no idea who Chyna or the Undertaker are. Let him off.
- Terry McCarty: Hi. I don't know what is wrong with you. I purchased that wall tapestry when it came out years ago, and now it still proudly hangs in my dining room. I think you're just envious because you don't have one so HA. Krankor: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
- Timmy K: I just read the section about the Chyna tapestry and I did indeed buy one. The reason for buying it is actually very simple. A few years back when they were pushing the hell out of Chyna I had a friend whose little sister would sit down and watch wrestling with us. I think she was like five or six. Anyway, her favorite wrestler was Chyna, although she called her "the big girl with the belt". So one day there was a yard sale on my street and I saw the tapestry for 4 bucks Canadian, so I bought it for her, which she used as a blanket by the way. I wish there was a better story to it, but I'm sorry, there isn't. That's a good story.
- Jeff: Hi RD, love the site. Gotta say though that I wish it was updated every week. Anyway, the Chyna tapestry: yeah I know a guy who bought one. He sold it shortly afterwards for £1.50. Of weed?
- Josh Dunn: I bought one. Gotta cover yourself with something when you're whackin' it. Krankor: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Rafiki needs to take a Test. Banana?
Why do chicks dig Test?
Kelly's got the right answer.
He's got foot-long dong.
Minisode #039 RD As Cher
by iggy
September 8, 2006
RD went to Disney World
Ariel stays in her grotto.
RD sings as Cher
The RD & Blade Variety Hour
#seaweed #fish woman
September 8, 2006
RD went to Disney World
Ariel stays in her grotto.
RD sings as Cher
The RD & Blade Variety Hour
#seaweed #fish woman
039 The RD & Blade Variety Hour: September 8, 2006
The RD & Blade Variety Hour
(61 minutes)
RD wants you to hate him, so he sings Cher songs.
RD took a Trip to Disney World with his family. (:09) He asks Blade if he'd rather be Mrs Deal or Mrs Trash. Sleepy, so sleepy.
Obscure Wrestling News, 25 minutes in: The Great Collie managed to evade being a police officer for six months. One of the listeners gets off to RD's voice. Bryan Danielson is fighting Kamala at ROH. Will they fight using rocking chairs?
Mail Bag: It's something, I bet. (:34) OT wants an apology from Vince for Katie Vick. RD does not like Ariel much: "I've seen better heads on boils." He's basically in monologue mode today. Mike Paulin wants the Brooklyn Brawler for the Hall of Fame. (:39) Blade wants some guy named 'Aldo Morino' for the place. RD responds to him with a song.
RD was watching a Von Erichs DVD, and all the numerous deaths from that territory. (:45) A 'slave for the day' angle from that gives RD an idea for an Annual Colts' vs Lions' Seasons Bet: the loser will recite phrases sent in by fans.
Kurt Angle is gone from TV. (:56) RD wants to be dictator.
Seventeen Syllable Tribute:
Goodbye, Trish Stratus.
It's the final curtain. I'll
miss your meat curtain.
(61 minutes)
Cher once accepted an Oscar for Brando. |
RD took a Trip to Disney World with his family. (:09) He asks Blade if he'd rather be Mrs Deal or Mrs Trash. Sleepy, so sleepy.
Obscure Wrestling News, 25 minutes in: The Great Collie managed to evade being a police officer for six months. One of the listeners gets off to RD's voice. Bryan Danielson is fighting Kamala at ROH. Will they fight using rocking chairs?
Mail Bag: It's something, I bet. (:34) OT wants an apology from Vince for Katie Vick. RD does not like Ariel much: "I've seen better heads on boils." He's basically in monologue mode today. Mike Paulin wants the Brooklyn Brawler for the Hall of Fame. (:39) Blade wants some guy named 'Aldo Morino' for the place. RD responds to him with a song.
RD was watching a Von Erichs DVD, and all the numerous deaths from that territory. (:45) A 'slave for the day' angle from that gives RD an idea for an Annual Colts' vs Lions' Seasons Bet: the loser will recite phrases sent in by fans.
Kurt Angle is gone from TV. (:56) RD wants to be dictator.
Seventeen Syllable Tribute:
Goodbye, Trish Stratus.
It's the final curtain. I'll
miss your meat curtain.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The “Handsome Half-Breed” Gino Hernandez to my “Gentleman” Chris Adams, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Heroes of World Class DVD
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 6. Pimping out a website, which, having your hand in your pants while listening to this show, strange people, strange people wanking off to my golden tones, giant things
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 1. Cher
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- RD Time Outs: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 2
- Weird Al Laughs: 1
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
- Shelley Martinez References: 2
- Trish Stratus References: 5
- Mailbag
- OT: Dear Arby's and Blade, would you be willing to part with Katie Vick's outfit if Vince would be willing to finally admit to making arguably the hugest mistake of his career? I mean, Muffie would need it to feud with Kevin Thorne and Ariel. I didn't even understand that question.
- Mike Paulin:
Hey RD and Blade, got a wrestling related question for you. Who do you guys think should be inducted into next year's Hall of Fame? I'm thinking maybe Brooklyn Brawler. Blade: Aldo Morino. Von Erichs.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Goodbye, Trish Stratus.
It's the final curtain. I'll
miss your meat curtain.
Minisode #038 RD versus a Clerk
by iggy
August 25, 2006
RD gets annoyed by clerks.
Blade's supermarket had parasites migrating from the dog food to the paper products.
#your own time #victory garden
August 25, 2006
RD gets annoyed by clerks.
Blade's supermarket had parasites migrating from the dog food to the paper products.
#your own time #victory garden
038 An Emancipation Procraplimation: August 25, 2006
An Emancipation Procraplimation
(63 minutes)
The third WrestleCrap book will be about Lists. Who doesn't enjoy reading lists?
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:05): RD can't stand grocery store workers looking at his precious groceries. (He prefers Blade doing it.)
The Faxtrolla isn't working efficiently for some reason. Nidia has been knocked up with an Italian or something. (:12) Sorry, I dozed off there, uh...Romeo of the Heartthrobs is branching out into entertaining. Blade does some entertaining of his own while RD looks up this news at bellaonline.com. The Rock has bought an apartment near a Dunkin' Donuts. The show has 20 listeners.
Mail Bag (:26): Some droning, nervous dork (Raving Wendall) sent an audiogram and wants to match last week's 'episode' with the actual Diva Search episode and post it online. Blade has a Plymouth Horizon for RD's Dodge Omni. Hulk Hogan 2 reminds us that the Marine sucks, even more so as it has 'sensuality' in it. Most likely it involves Cena telling his woman that she can't see his penis during sex. (:32) King Superspecial listened to last week's episode twice because he was too lazy to stop listening. He demands a refund. (:36)
Sad News (:38): Rumor has it that Francine will be fired soon because Vince thinks she is 'ugly'. I can almost hear the rest of this segment below the music.
SummerSlam happened. (:42) Blade didn't watch it so he tells us what happened from a third hand source. Grandpa Flair and Mick Foley had a hardcore match. Eddie Guerrero's widow is now a heel valet. The DX vs McMahons match made Blade hit the bottle. The reason why, I don't know because all I hear is mumbling beneath some music. (:48)
RD's favorite heel is Vince McMahon, maybe because he just got the McMahon DVD. RD thinks Linda McMahon is an android (oh no! run) and Stephanie is full of BS because she thinks her father "doesn't like yes men."
Haiku Shill:
Our new book's coming.
Hope you buy it. RD jun-
ior needs clean diapers.
(63 minutes)
The third WrestleCrap book will be about Lists. Who doesn't enjoy reading lists?
RD's Trip to the Grocery (:05): RD can't stand grocery store workers looking at his precious groceries. (He prefers Blade doing it.)
The Faxtrolla isn't working efficiently for some reason. Nidia has been knocked up with an Italian or something. (:12) Sorry, I dozed off there, uh...Romeo of the Heartthrobs is branching out into entertaining. Blade does some entertaining of his own while RD looks up this news at bellaonline.com. The Rock has bought an apartment near a Dunkin' Donuts. The show has 20 listeners.
Mail Bag (:26): Some droning, nervous dork (Raving Wendall) sent an audiogram and wants to match last week's 'episode' with the actual Diva Search episode and post it online. Blade has a Plymouth Horizon for RD's Dodge Omni. Hulk Hogan 2 reminds us that the Marine sucks, even more so as it has 'sensuality' in it. Most likely it involves Cena telling his woman that she can't see his penis during sex. (:32) King Superspecial listened to last week's episode twice because he was too lazy to stop listening. He demands a refund. (:36)
Sad News (:38): Rumor has it that Francine will be fired soon because Vince thinks she is 'ugly'. I can almost hear the rest of this segment below the music.
SummerSlam happened. (:42) Blade didn't watch it so he tells us what happened from a third hand source. Grandpa Flair and Mick Foley had a hardcore match. Eddie Guerrero's widow is now a heel valet. The DX vs McMahons match made Blade hit the bottle. The reason why, I don't know because all I hear is mumbling beneath some music. (:48)
INVEST IN A RETIREMENT PLAN, KIDS!! |
Haiku Shill:
Our new book's coming.
Hope you buy it. RD jun-
ior needs clean diapers.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The nom to my de plume, Mr. Blade Braxton
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Global Internet, Bryan Alvarez, Figure Four Weekly
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 4. The book, nonsense, sharp objects going into the back of your head, Vince McMahon
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 3. Plymouth Horizon, Atari 2600, Dodge Omni
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Raving Randall
- RD Time Outs: 4
- Krankor Laughs: 4
- Weird Al Laughs: 4
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 5
- Ashley Massaro References: 1
- Trish Stratus References: 2
- Mailbag
- Raving Wendall: Hey Blade and RD, this is Raving Wendall from the Wrestlecrap forums, AKA the only man stupid enough to run around with a Komodon avatar. What can I say, I saw him when he came out and did his little intro thing and just loved it. They got a good actor for that. Well I first wanted to congratulate you on the funniest radio shows that I've ever heard with commentary for the Diva contest. Yes, I am trying to download it now so I can put that with the commentary. And I have a strong feeling from what I heard from you guys that's probably the only way this thing will be bearable. Whether or not I'll get it up on Youtube depends on whether or not the person I'm downloading it from kept in the commercials. If they didn't, this is gonna be one heck of a mess. I did have a question for you guys. Did you - damnit, another question just went on in my head. Must have been a Wrestlecrap question anyway. Look forward to listening to listening to your next radio shows. Until then, from the den here, this is Raving Wendall signing out. There was a question?
- Hulk Hogan 2: Hey RD and Blade, I don't really have a question. I guess I should come up with a question. The new John Cena movie The Marine was given a PG-13. It was given this rating for intense sequences of violent action (something new for John Cena), language, and here's the best one: scenes of sensuality. Is the Deal ready to hit the theaters on opening night to see some intense John Cena lovemaking? I'm almost afraid to know. I don't want to see John Cena doing it.
- King Superspecial: Now that I've wasted two hours of my life listening to last week's WrestleCrap Radio (I listened to it twice, it was on repeat and I was too lazy to press stop), how are you gonna reimburse me for the time of my life I will never get back? Forget it pal.
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
Our new book's coming.
Hope you buy it. RD jun-
ior needs clean diapers.
Minisode #037 That Diva Search Finale
by iggy
August 18, 2006
RD & Blade watch a Diva Search finale.
#blade brakestown #wacky
August 18, 2006
RD & Blade watch a Diva Search finale.
#blade brakestown #wacky
037 Hello Titty: August 18, 2006
Hello Titty
A train-wreck of a show.
(63 minutes)
RD and Blade watch a Diva Search Special in real time. This apparently involves the following:
I'm not listening to this shit.
As of this writing we're still waiting on someone to make a useful commentary video of this particular episode. Course, though, you'd have more luck waiting for Elvis to come back from the dead than waiting for that to happen.
- Future PB
A train-wreck of a show.
(63 minutes)
Todd Grisham didn't always have a face. |
- Really bad sound quality.
- Weird Al shouting that you so stupid.
- Diamond Dan's hotline at 317 335 HOTT. Call him instead.
- RD not realizing until too late that not everyone listening to the show actually has a ready recording of the special on hand.
- A trailer for The Marine. See what they say about it here rather than listening to the show. [Hell, the movie is easier to witness than this.]
- RD: "I think more people will hate this show than any other show we've ever done."
I'm not listening to this shit.
As of this writing we're still waiting on someone to make a useful commentary video of this particular episode. Course, though, you'd have more luck waiting for Elvis to come back from the dead than waiting for that to happen.
- Future PB
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)
- The tranny to my Carmella, Mr. Blade Brakes-town
- WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Diamond Dan Hot Line
- URLs not taken: 0.
- SPEAKING OFs: 13. Train wreck, a tran wreck, Burger King, cats, cat women, old dead women I would bang, black and white chicks, the Von Erichs, having a cock in your mouth, horrible, a legend returning (2), Ricky Morton
- Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
- Outdated references: 3. Donna Reed, Mary Tyler Moore, Learning the Ropes
- I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
- F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
- RD Time Outs: 1
- Krankor Laughs: 6
- Weird Al Laughs: 2
- RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
- Ashley Massaro References: 8
- Christy Hemme References: 1
- Mailbag: N/A
- Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: N/A
Running Commentary (You’re welcome)
- RD wishes Derek Burgan a successful recovery from hernia surgery (0:06)
- Todd Grisham replaced The Miz? Addition by subtraction? (0:08)
- RD ponders how he can watch the whole show. (0:14)
- RD pines for another Kloudi run. (0:16)
- RD predicts this will be thought of as the worst episode ever. (0:20)
- RD rags on Gilmore Girls (0:33)
- J.T. Titty has been eliminated and Blade is distraught at the news. (0:35)
- The Boys see The Marine trailer and try to predict the name of John Cena’s character. (0:37)
- Blade wants to hit the bottle. (0:40)
- Whatever happened to Tyson Tomko? (0:46)
- HLA anyone? (0:54)
- Hot Ricky Morton talk. (0:56)
- The Deever wins! (1:01)
- The guys decide alcoholism is cool after watching this and Blade considers this on a Buster Douglas upset of Mike Tyson level. (1:02)
- RD wistfully points out that through the confetti, her mannish features disappear. (1:03)
- End Show. Thank God.
"Season" In Review 2005 - 2006: The Golden Guys
"If anybody's still listening to this I have to ask you why." (RD Reynolds)
It seems like a good idea. The man behind a well known wrestling site wants to try his hand at doing a podcast, and he does it with the help of the guy who won a contest because he worships the Black Scorpion. Sure, it may not be exactly just about wrestling. Anyone who knows anything about wrestlecrap.com knows it's about the WORST in professional wrestling and the humor that can be derived from that, so it's not exactly the Wrestling Observer we're talking about here. But RD Reynolds and his Co-Host on the other end of the tin can and string, Mr. Blade Braxton, certainly know a thing or two about a thing or two about wrestling, and with their unique insights into the industry and their own thoughts and opinions about what's been going down week after week, it may prove a rather fascinating listen. And for a while, it actually was.
Ten minutes in Blade talks about watching an episode of Maude.
It all went downhill from there.
Even with that 'misstep' though, WrestleCrap Radio has been rather enjoyable in its maiden year. RD & Blade have looked at wrestling in an often humorous light. They poked fun at many a ludicrous thing going on in the squared circle. They read haikus. They read submitted questions (but failed to actually answer them). They talked to John Tenta, Vince Russo, and Dr. Keith Lipinski. They had people 'call in' despite not giving out a number and not being live (recording the show after the fact). They gushed mightily over Kurt Angle.
And of course, they've talked about 70's TV shows as much as can humanely be possible.
That being said, their latest episode on their one year anniversary was somewhat...bizarre. Obviously the re-appearance of bill collector John Thomas 'calling in' to their show somehow is good for a laugh or two. But Blade not even changing his voice to mess around with RD just to make a bad pun? Spending time answering obvious trick questions? Wasting half an hour on ineligible "impressions" of Terry Funk and Dennis Stamp?
One hopes this is just a one off thing of them goofing around for no reason or other after having the show survive for one year. After all, they did have some strange 'callers-in' on their April Fools episode so it would fit that they would mess about and try it again here. And, it IS WrestleCrap. You're not really expecting the hottest wrestling scoops here, not unless you find a way to resurrect Al Isaacs.
And if you do find a way, contact us. We could make good money off it.
05 - 06 Episode By Episode
#001 Pilot (August 12)
Being the Co-Hosts initial outing, it is not surprising that they are haphazard in how they went about it, talking about those 70's shows, 'taking over' Get In The Ring, and wondering why people are still listening to them after meandering for 20 minutes. It's not Encounter At Farpoint bad, thankfully, which is a slight plus. Now, if that pilot featured Bea Arthur...
#002 Mommy's Milk (August 19)
The show picks up noticeably here. Though it's less due to any actual wrestling discussion and more about the popularity of Dennis Stamp, someone with a mustache among the strangely varied contestants of the Diva Search, the failure to answer someone's submitted question in an excuse to give away Dusty Rhodes' autobiography, some nonsense about Hulk Hogan nursing Shawn Michaels, and Blade trying to read a haiku through his cracking up. However it is to the show's credit, and makes it funnier than it should have any right to be.
#003 Tee Hee Tickle Party (August 26)
The "Tee Hee Tickle Party" continues, with RD taking time to talk about going to the library, Brian Knobbs' babysitting skills being debated, and more talk about Gene Snitsky than is healthily needed. Also RD has to remind people that he's not a Juggalo.
#004 Speaking Of... (September 16)
Speaking of things that are talked about more than is healthily needed, the Co-Hosts return after two weeks 'off' to talk about Kane's 'autobiography', old Apter magazines, and one rather strange dream. It's all very bizarre.
#005 Raw Homecoming (September 23)
Much time is spent about another 70's related dream, some wrestlers' absurd gimmicks, a "homecoming" of wrestling legends that are still not as old as some of the references the Co-Hosts have made, and something about Warrior's DVD. Sadly it's not hosted by RD and Blade.
#006 Self-urinating ReCrap (September 30)
After all the excitement from the earlier week things are more quiet here. Still, RD and Blade do their best in talking about Boo Berry, of all things.
#007 Flipping a stuffed bird (October 7)
RD and Blade resume their discourse by gushing over Koko B. Ware and his stuffed Frankie, which would probably be more charismatic than most of the currently active roster. RD counters this with another strange dream of his.
#008 Naming Nicknames (October 14)
The wrestling discussion carries through again on what is considered the USA Today of wrestling podcasts. Hey I didn't say that, they did. Still, if ever you want the up-to-date news on Hacksaw Jim Duggan flipping over a bus, you can't go wrong here.
#009 Gimmicks Galore (October 21)
Three trends begin here; discussion about "Obscure News", Tajiri's wife and her fear of cars, and Ricky Morton and his child support payments. Also the Co-Hosts continue their obsession over the debuting Boogeyman.
#010 Cookie Crisp Christmas Crap Radio (October 28)
Having managed to reach Halloween already, the Co-Hosts celebrate by talking about Christmas instead. But they also talk about Ricky Morton's troubles, Teddy Long's midgets, and the most important thing in the week: Jim Ross being sodomized to no one's enjoyment. This warrants an "evil" haiku for some reason.
#011 24 Hour Blade (November 11)
Surely a wrestling-based podcast would spend an important amount of time (including a week off) talking about...bad movies. Such is the case here with RD talking about watching Inspector Gadget. Still, it's better than what's being shown on Raw and Smackdown lately, including disappearing midgets.
#012 John Tenta Interview (November 18)
While we could go on about more of Ricky Morton's troubles, the passing of Eddie Guerrero, and Blade's missing pants, the Co-Hosts do break the monotonous trend by having a very charming interview with John Tenta. Hearing his bold attitude even in his situation while making the two laugh with his time on the air is a lovely thing to hear, and is definitely a high point of the show so far.
#013 Yulelog for He-Man (December 2)
Another milestone is reached, as RD celebrates the great tradition that is...Black Friday, where he saw some guy standing in line to get a free calculator. It's all uphill from there, with Blade losing it looking at Ricky Morton's website, Blade having an attraction to He-Man, more of Tajiri's wife being under house arrest, discussion about the year's Gooker nominees, and Ric Flair on the road (literally).
#014 Speaking of Rocking Chairs... (December 9)
The end of the calendar year has such hot topics as Kamala's singing about a rocking chair, a Diva being fired, and dogs barking Jingle Bells. It IS the festive season though, so it is all in (jolly) good fun, guaranteed to make you vomit on yourself in enjoyment (their words, not mine).
#015 Alien Ham (January 6)
The new year brings new things to talk about. New things such as Blade talking about the time he savagely cut a piece of ham. That's really the only interesting development here, besides more about Ricky Morton and Tajiri and Ric Flair's shenanigans, as exciting as they are to talk about.
#016 WrestleClock Radio (January 13)
The Co-Hosts discuss Divas in the 'news', bathroom nicknames, and Shelton Benjamin having less of an audience than RD and Blade. It's a rather slow week.
#017 Rated C For Crap (January 20)
To bring back the excitement missing in your average episode of WCR, the Co-Hosts discuss a porn award ceremony, an anal raping wrestler being fired, and Blade failing to get anywhere with Lita. It's not much, but they're slowly getting back up there again.
#018 Announcements (January 27)
The Co-Hosts use the aid of some MIDI trumpets to herald their Question of the Week before coasting on talking about the Spirit Squad, the Royal Rumble, and one very important picture of Jameson.
#019 Boogeyman M.D. (February 3)
The 'fascinating' wrestling news continues but it's forgiven slightly as RD has a cold and does his best to stay on form. The Co-Hosts talk about the Viking's son also wrestling, multi-vitamins, the Royal Rumble again, and Bob Orton's cast.
#020 Vince Russo Interview Part I (February 17)
Things pick up as RD and Blade announce they are working on a new book and manage to get Vince Russo into an interview with them, which is certainly very illuminating. The two discuss his time in WWF and some of the things he did there, all highly fascinating.
#021 Vince Russo Interview Part II (February 24)
The Vince Russo interview continues as the trio discuss his time in WCW and then answer a few questions. Like the earlier week both are highly entertaining as they are informative.
#022 Saturday Night's Alright For Wrestling (March 10)
After all that excitement the same old same old wrestling talk returns once again. But at least we get more 'exciting' stuff about the midget division, nostalgia about Saturday Night's Main Event, another Diva stripping in Playboy, and Verne Gagne masturbating.
#023 WrestleCrap Rumble (March 17)
With yet more references to before many listening were born, RD and Blade continue to discuss such ground breaking stuff as B. Brian Blair, the Boogeyman, Samoa Joe, Verne Gagne rapping and a concerned Jewish mother.
#024 Real Time with Real Deal (March 31)
Things suddenly take a turn for the absurd, and even with it being April Fools' Day it's not really a good sign. The two take 'calls' from, among other people, Mrs. RD, a man sounding like Vince Russo, someone pretending to be Lee Marshall, and a bill collector named John Thomas looking for a "Blade Brakestown". That is in reference to a 'joke' from last week where Blade wondered if Thomas and his ilk were cutting into his phone line to chase his bills. For its original intent at humor it's laudable...at first. That's when you wonder how on earth they would do a 'live' show for something that's normally pre-taped, not unless they can somehow find a way to bend the laws of time and space to their whim. So on that logic the whole thing falls apart. But that depends on a person thinking too hard about this show, which almost never really happens. Still, it's something different from the norm, which is a point in its favor. A small point to be sure, but a point nonetheless.
#025 Komedy with a capital K (April 7)
The 'normal' stuff returns, but at least it's slightly different with a conversation with Dr. Keith Lipinski about Wrestlemania, an Easter Egg hunt at a funeral home, and Nikolai Volkoff being advised by RD to have the Iron Sheik help him win an election. That's a surefire strategy right there.
#026 The He-Man Peep Show (April 14)
Blade manages to join RD in person at his home for once, allowing them to talk some more about having new music for going to the Grocery, Blade being aroused by He-Man, The Cat In The Hat, Randy Orton being suspended, some nonsense about a chiropractor, and most importantly, Zeus masturbating.
#027 Cornmeal Frosties (April 21)
To shake things up, RD talks about...a trip to his optometrist. It's as exciting as it sounds. To improve on things slightly two also talk about Paul Ellering having his own eye trouble (speaking of eyes) which warrants the use of some 'sad music', Pat Tanaka as a judoist, Ivan Koloff being religious, and Trish Stratus leaving WWE (though not because she's religious).
#028 WoodstockCrap Radio (IN 3-D!!!) (April 28)
With RD and Blade taking May off to work on their book, they spend the rest of their time this week talking about fruity balls, gay talk Palmer Cannon and being pounded in the ass, Verne Gagne's wad, and staying warm with your bitch in the snow. They also talk around it with God as a tag team partner and the 'return' of ECW.
#029 "New and Improved" (June 6)
Returning from their 'vacation', RD has at least taken the opportunity to improve the sound quality so he and Blade no longer sound like they're speaking from underground. They've also got a sponsor! It is Global Internet, who help run the WC site domain. Sadly that's the only things of note this week, assuming you also consider news about Mean Gene Okerlund being sued, Erik Watts' horrible booking, and the Great Khali having giant teeth to also be important.
#030 Zombie Radio (June 16)
The show suddenly takes a flying leap to some sort of weird greatness, or "jumped the Zombie" as RD puts it. With the show being off to respect the sad passing of John Tenta, the Co-Hosts commemorate his memory by talking about the 'debut' of 'ECW' including the greatness that is the Zombie. There's also talk about Randy Savage on The Surreal Life, Kamala's plastic spears, Paul Ellering exercising prostitutes, and DX's 'return', but that's not the point here. Did they have a Zombie groan in the ring? I didn't think so! Trust me, this episode must be given a listen to if only to hear how hilariously crazy it all is.
#031 Double Trouble (June 23)
The Trip to the Grocery now also has Ray Steven's The Streak as well as the music it already has, to RD's sole delight. He and Blade also talk about the food groups, important 'political' news, Lex Luger's drunken antics, Blade at a strip club, Greg Gagne booking, a ECW fallout, and a haiku that breaks Blade's composure.
#032 An angle on Angle (June 30)
To reverse their trend of talking about nothing, RD promises more 'wrestling news'. He then takes half an hour discussing Kurt Angle's move set in thrilling fashion. One would assume he's doing this on purpose to dissuade people from asking him again to do such a thing in the future...There is still time to talk about wrestlers not actually wrestling, wrestling animals, a Diva unable to take her bra off, and a first; a Weekly Wrestling Tanka!
#033 Hapines is a Warm Pun (July 7)
Things return to 'normal'; i.e. the lack of any substantial wrestling developments to discuss. RD and Blade instead talk about John Lauranitis being a secret listener to their show, fake laughter, Blade getting drunk, McMahon being out of date, Mike Knox body slamming people, and compare Divas to blow-up dolls (which is insulting to the blow-up dolls). They also bring the 'return' of the Mailbag to replace their Question of the Week, perhaps realizing that no one wants their Dusty Rhodes book.
#034 Diva Debacle (July 14)
For a change the show is rather strong this week, and with good reason. RD further 'improves' his production by now having his own laugh track; Krankor's infamous laugh from Prince Of Space. The questions they get about Siamese wrestling, the Great Khali in a dog outfit, and a lone fan of the show, are quite compelling. The Big Show's giant hands are idolized. Blade gets drunk with the help of some bizarre drinking-style music. And most importantly, the latest Diva Search sends the two into hysterics over how the Miz pronounces one contestant's name, which is certainly a laugh riot. Don't take my word for it though, listen to it for yourself!
#035 Real Angry (July 28)
As expected (and even with the week off), things are more of a downer here, with RD being angry at Lifesavers for some reason. It's really not that much of a deal to go over. The show is rather subdued here, even with RD's heckles being raised and Blade wanting to see a donkey show (or participate in one, you never can tell with him). They also talk about the victims of the Wellness Policy, more of the Diva Search, and ECW surviving on the believability of Mike Knox, Mr. Charisma.
#036 One Year Anniversary...Somehow (August 11)
Finally, after another week off, the show gets through its first year of existence, and RD and Blade can celebrate with...whatever this is supposed to be. Sure, there are some things that 'fit'. RD finds new laughs to amuse himself, he drinks a lot of milk, John Thomas calls again to pester Blade...and the wrestling news takes as little of the show as is physically possible. Instead we get Blade 'calling in' and calling himself "Bowel Movement Punk" to his own enjoyment and no one else's, some more bad impressions of Terry Funk and Dennis Stamp that spend hours to deliver a bad punchline. It's almost like April Fools once again. As I have said earlier, I hope this is just a one-off occurrence and we don't get anything as bad as this in later years. Otherwise this show would turn out into all kinds of strange awful...
The Year's "Best" Of
Number of episodes: 36
Longest episode (excluding interviews): #034 It's over an hour long!
Shortest episode (excluding interviews): #001 By contrast, the pilot is just over 20 minutes.
Best overall episode: #012 A simply touching interview with John Tenta raises the episode as a whole.
Hear also: #020 #021 The Vince Russo Interview. A very in-depth piece with a notoriously infamous figure of the WWE/WCW wars.
Funniest episode: #030 Just hearing the Zombie moan all the way throughout is enough to make anyone laugh uncontrollably.
Hear also: #002 The Co-Hosts cannot get through a haiku properly without losing themselves, among wondering who on earth is participating in the Diva Search.
#003 Another haiku gets through to the Co-Hosts. These haikus are rather weird ones, I must say.
#013 Everything overall, from Blade checking out Ricky Morton's 'site', Black Friday, and Tajiri's wife's house arrest, all make this enjoyable to listen to.
#034 The whole thing about JT Titty at the Diva Search with the other craziness in wrestling right now is simply hysterical.
Weirdest episode: #036 The whole calling-in nonsense, besides the general meandering of the day as a whole, really sticks out of the rest of the year like a sore thumb. (The earlier call-in show doesn't count because, hey, April Fools and all that.)
Funniest furious few minutes (stand-alone): Blade's strange tale about savagely slicing your ham properly. (#015)
Hear also: Discussion about the Diva Search, including whether a contestant is a woman or not. (#002)
RD seeing a man stand in line to buy a calculator on Black Friday. (#013)
Blade wanting the Great Khali to fornicate with a dog, among other things. (#034)
What The Fuck?: RD taking ten hours talking about Kurt Angle's 'move set' because people 'demanded' it.(#032)
"Hear" also: Blade reveals he has an erection for He-Man. (#013)
An odd segue involving carnivals for some reason. (#013)
"Dennis Stamp" 'calls' in to the show to make bad jokes. (#036)
We listened to THAT?: RD discussing Kurt Angle's move set (#032)
Also confusing: It's all 70's, all the time! (#001)
The timeliness of Dennis Stamp. (#002)
Mommy's milk. (#002)
How bad movie adaptations of Inspector Gadget and The Cat In The Hat tie in to wrestling. (#011)
People 'calling' in to the show. (#024)
It's the weirdest dream, Doc: Tammy Sytch's knowledge of Burt Reynolds movies. (#005)
Funniest line: "Speaking of prostitutes, a man has come." (Blade, #030)
Hear also: "Kinda like being forced to watch a rerun of Maude." (Blade, #001)
"So you got Zorak, you got Chaka, and you've got Ashley Massaro out there. Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2005 Diva Search." (Blade, #002)
"I vomited on myself in enjoyment." (RD, #014)
"I don't want to hear about you and Don busting each other with corn oil." (RD, #017)
"You just talked about having nuts in your mouth." (RD, #025)
What The Fuck was that?: "We killed Dennis Stamp." (RD, #036)
Hear also: "I don't want to live." (Blade, #016)
"I did ejaculate at the He-Man case." (Blade, #026)
Speaking Of...: Verne Gagne masturbating (#022)
And Speaking Of...: Getting pounded in the ass. (#022)
Zeus masturbating. (#026)
Verne Gagne's wad. (#028)
WrestleSex Radio: "I did ejaculate at the He-Man case" (Blade, #026)
Feel also: "I'm glad you enjoyed your sister's Snoopy snow cones" (RD, #022)
"You just talked about having nuts in your mouth" (RD, #025)
Palmer Cannon gay talk. (#028)
"I keep groping myself, there's gonna be some moisture somewhere else." (Blade, #033)
Most startling revelation: Blade having no pants. (#012)
Hear also: Blade's Alien Ham (#015)
Blade's Front Yard Boxing Association Title (#027)
You told us THAT?: Blade failing to get anywhere with Lita at a car show. (#017)
Hear also: Blade's obsession with corn oil. Why not just deep throat the damn thing? (#017)
RD being told he has a harsh voice. You would THINK he would do some quality control on his own radio show... (#036)
That's sure to offend no-one: "I don't want him coming back and playing wheelchair basketball with Droz." (Blade, #030)
Also offensive: RD as a Jewish mother (#023)
"That was fagtacular." (RD, #030)
Most obscure reference: Vladimir Petrov discussion. It's as timely as today's headlines. (#027)
Also confusing: Maude (#001)
Chaka as a "contestant" on the Diva Search (#002)
Actual non-Crap Wrestling discussion: Remembering Saturday Night's Main Event. (#022)
Hear also: The greatness of Apter mags. (#004)
The greatness of "ECW" (#030)
Saddest News: The passing of John Tenta. May he RIP. (#030)
Hear also: The passing of Eddie Guerrero (#012)
Paul Ellering's Cornmeal Frosties (#027)
Favorite on-going news trend: Ricky Morton's jailhouse blues (#009)
See also: Tajiri's wife's motorphobia (#009)
Favorite wrestler to discuss: The Boogeyman. Just don't talk about clocks with him. (#001)
Discuss also: Hulk Hogan, particularly his lactation abilities. (#002)
Least favorite wrestler to discuss: Christy Hemme and her hungry butt. (#017)
Do not discuss also: "B.M. Punk" but that's a bit of a stretch because he's not an actual wrestler. Still, if ever we see such a man on the indie circuit... (#036)
Funniest character: John Thomas and his debt payment crusade against Blade Brakestown. (#024)
Who the fuck is this?: Terry Funk/Dennis Stamp together because they're essentially one and the same. Also because they were terrible to hear. B.M. Punk would also have fit in here, but he's not a bad 'wrestler' impersonation like the earlier two. Also he's easier to hear. (#036)
Favorite sound bite: The Zombie's in town! (#030)
Hear also: Krankor's automobile laugh. (#034)
Best music pad: Blade's drinking music. (#034)
Hear also: Blade's Haiku mood music. (#002)
The show intro (Extreme's Play With Me)
Most out-of-tune music: Blade's "Evil" Haiku music. It sure drowned out whatever he was trying to say. (#010)
Do not hear also: The "new and improved" Ratt theme. (#029)
A+ Haiku: #034
Moronic Divas.
How will this class top last year's?
Leave it to Deever.
F- Haiku: #010
JR's battered ass.
That was so painful. My poor
eyes felt sodomized.
Overall "Season" Score
7/10
Despite the show's few mistakes (understandable of course), the whole thing's been rather enjoyable so far. One wonders how they'll continue with the show going on to the next year/season...
It seems like a good idea. The man behind a well known wrestling site wants to try his hand at doing a podcast, and he does it with the help of the guy who won a contest because he worships the Black Scorpion. Sure, it may not be exactly just about wrestling. Anyone who knows anything about wrestlecrap.com knows it's about the WORST in professional wrestling and the humor that can be derived from that, so it's not exactly the Wrestling Observer we're talking about here. But RD Reynolds and his Co-Host on the other end of the tin can and string, Mr. Blade Braxton, certainly know a thing or two about a thing or two about wrestling, and with their unique insights into the industry and their own thoughts and opinions about what's been going down week after week, it may prove a rather fascinating listen. And for a while, it actually was.
Ten minutes in Blade talks about watching an episode of Maude.
It all went downhill from there.
Even with that 'misstep' though, WrestleCrap Radio has been rather enjoyable in its maiden year. RD & Blade have looked at wrestling in an often humorous light. They poked fun at many a ludicrous thing going on in the squared circle. They read haikus. They read submitted questions (but failed to actually answer them). They talked to John Tenta, Vince Russo, and Dr. Keith Lipinski. They had people 'call in' despite not giving out a number and not being live (recording the show after the fact). They gushed mightily over Kurt Angle.
And of course, they've talked about 70's TV shows as much as can humanely be possible.
That being said, their latest episode on their one year anniversary was somewhat...bizarre. Obviously the re-appearance of bill collector John Thomas 'calling in' to their show somehow is good for a laugh or two. But Blade not even changing his voice to mess around with RD just to make a bad pun? Spending time answering obvious trick questions? Wasting half an hour on ineligible "impressions" of Terry Funk and Dennis Stamp?
One hopes this is just a one off thing of them goofing around for no reason or other after having the show survive for one year. After all, they did have some strange 'callers-in' on their April Fools episode so it would fit that they would mess about and try it again here. And, it IS WrestleCrap. You're not really expecting the hottest wrestling scoops here, not unless you find a way to resurrect Al Isaacs.
And if you do find a way, contact us. We could make good money off it.
05 - 06 Episode By Episode
#001 Pilot (August 12)
Being the Co-Hosts initial outing, it is not surprising that they are haphazard in how they went about it, talking about those 70's shows, 'taking over' Get In The Ring, and wondering why people are still listening to them after meandering for 20 minutes. It's not Encounter At Farpoint bad, thankfully, which is a slight plus. Now, if that pilot featured Bea Arthur...
#002 Mommy's Milk (August 19)
The show picks up noticeably here. Though it's less due to any actual wrestling discussion and more about the popularity of Dennis Stamp, someone with a mustache among the strangely varied contestants of the Diva Search, the failure to answer someone's submitted question in an excuse to give away Dusty Rhodes' autobiography, some nonsense about Hulk Hogan nursing Shawn Michaels, and Blade trying to read a haiku through his cracking up. However it is to the show's credit, and makes it funnier than it should have any right to be.
#003 Tee Hee Tickle Party (August 26)
The "Tee Hee Tickle Party" continues, with RD taking time to talk about going to the library, Brian Knobbs' babysitting skills being debated, and more talk about Gene Snitsky than is healthily needed. Also RD has to remind people that he's not a Juggalo.
#004 Speaking Of... (September 16)
Speaking of things that are talked about more than is healthily needed, the Co-Hosts return after two weeks 'off' to talk about Kane's 'autobiography', old Apter magazines, and one rather strange dream. It's all very bizarre.
#005 Raw Homecoming (September 23)
Much time is spent about another 70's related dream, some wrestlers' absurd gimmicks, a "homecoming" of wrestling legends that are still not as old as some of the references the Co-Hosts have made, and something about Warrior's DVD. Sadly it's not hosted by RD and Blade.
#006 Self-urinating ReCrap (September 30)
After all the excitement from the earlier week things are more quiet here. Still, RD and Blade do their best in talking about Boo Berry, of all things.
#007 Flipping a stuffed bird (October 7)
RD and Blade resume their discourse by gushing over Koko B. Ware and his stuffed Frankie, which would probably be more charismatic than most of the currently active roster. RD counters this with another strange dream of his.
#008 Naming Nicknames (October 14)
The wrestling discussion carries through again on what is considered the USA Today of wrestling podcasts. Hey I didn't say that, they did. Still, if ever you want the up-to-date news on Hacksaw Jim Duggan flipping over a bus, you can't go wrong here.
#009 Gimmicks Galore (October 21)
Three trends begin here; discussion about "Obscure News", Tajiri's wife and her fear of cars, and Ricky Morton and his child support payments. Also the Co-Hosts continue their obsession over the debuting Boogeyman.
#010 Cookie Crisp Christmas Crap Radio (October 28)
Having managed to reach Halloween already, the Co-Hosts celebrate by talking about Christmas instead. But they also talk about Ricky Morton's troubles, Teddy Long's midgets, and the most important thing in the week: Jim Ross being sodomized to no one's enjoyment. This warrants an "evil" haiku for some reason.
#011 24 Hour Blade (November 11)
Surely a wrestling-based podcast would spend an important amount of time (including a week off) talking about...bad movies. Such is the case here with RD talking about watching Inspector Gadget. Still, it's better than what's being shown on Raw and Smackdown lately, including disappearing midgets.
#012 John Tenta Interview (November 18)
While we could go on about more of Ricky Morton's troubles, the passing of Eddie Guerrero, and Blade's missing pants, the Co-Hosts do break the monotonous trend by having a very charming interview with John Tenta. Hearing his bold attitude even in his situation while making the two laugh with his time on the air is a lovely thing to hear, and is definitely a high point of the show so far.
#013 Yulelog for He-Man (December 2)
Another milestone is reached, as RD celebrates the great tradition that is...Black Friday, where he saw some guy standing in line to get a free calculator. It's all uphill from there, with Blade losing it looking at Ricky Morton's website, Blade having an attraction to He-Man, more of Tajiri's wife being under house arrest, discussion about the year's Gooker nominees, and Ric Flair on the road (literally).
#014 Speaking of Rocking Chairs... (December 9)
The end of the calendar year has such hot topics as Kamala's singing about a rocking chair, a Diva being fired, and dogs barking Jingle Bells. It IS the festive season though, so it is all in (jolly) good fun, guaranteed to make you vomit on yourself in enjoyment (their words, not mine).
#015 Alien Ham (January 6)
The new year brings new things to talk about. New things such as Blade talking about the time he savagely cut a piece of ham. That's really the only interesting development here, besides more about Ricky Morton and Tajiri and Ric Flair's shenanigans, as exciting as they are to talk about.
#016 WrestleClock Radio (January 13)
The Co-Hosts discuss Divas in the 'news', bathroom nicknames, and Shelton Benjamin having less of an audience than RD and Blade. It's a rather slow week.
#017 Rated C For Crap (January 20)
To bring back the excitement missing in your average episode of WCR, the Co-Hosts discuss a porn award ceremony, an anal raping wrestler being fired, and Blade failing to get anywhere with Lita. It's not much, but they're slowly getting back up there again.
#018 Announcements (January 27)
The Co-Hosts use the aid of some MIDI trumpets to herald their Question of the Week before coasting on talking about the Spirit Squad, the Royal Rumble, and one very important picture of Jameson.
#019 Boogeyman M.D. (February 3)
The 'fascinating' wrestling news continues but it's forgiven slightly as RD has a cold and does his best to stay on form. The Co-Hosts talk about the Viking's son also wrestling, multi-vitamins, the Royal Rumble again, and Bob Orton's cast.
#020 Vince Russo Interview Part I (February 17)
Things pick up as RD and Blade announce they are working on a new book and manage to get Vince Russo into an interview with them, which is certainly very illuminating. The two discuss his time in WWF and some of the things he did there, all highly fascinating.
#021 Vince Russo Interview Part II (February 24)
The Vince Russo interview continues as the trio discuss his time in WCW and then answer a few questions. Like the earlier week both are highly entertaining as they are informative.
#022 Saturday Night's Alright For Wrestling (March 10)
After all that excitement the same old same old wrestling talk returns once again. But at least we get more 'exciting' stuff about the midget division, nostalgia about Saturday Night's Main Event, another Diva stripping in Playboy, and Verne Gagne masturbating.
#023 WrestleCrap Rumble (March 17)
With yet more references to before many listening were born, RD and Blade continue to discuss such ground breaking stuff as B. Brian Blair, the Boogeyman, Samoa Joe, Verne Gagne rapping and a concerned Jewish mother.
#024 Real Time with Real Deal (March 31)
Things suddenly take a turn for the absurd, and even with it being April Fools' Day it's not really a good sign. The two take 'calls' from, among other people, Mrs. RD, a man sounding like Vince Russo, someone pretending to be Lee Marshall, and a bill collector named John Thomas looking for a "Blade Brakestown". That is in reference to a 'joke' from last week where Blade wondered if Thomas and his ilk were cutting into his phone line to chase his bills. For its original intent at humor it's laudable...at first. That's when you wonder how on earth they would do a 'live' show for something that's normally pre-taped, not unless they can somehow find a way to bend the laws of time and space to their whim. So on that logic the whole thing falls apart. But that depends on a person thinking too hard about this show, which almost never really happens. Still, it's something different from the norm, which is a point in its favor. A small point to be sure, but a point nonetheless.
#025 Komedy with a capital K (April 7)
The 'normal' stuff returns, but at least it's slightly different with a conversation with Dr. Keith Lipinski about Wrestlemania, an Easter Egg hunt at a funeral home, and Nikolai Volkoff being advised by RD to have the Iron Sheik help him win an election. That's a surefire strategy right there.
#026 The He-Man Peep Show (April 14)
Blade manages to join RD in person at his home for once, allowing them to talk some more about having new music for going to the Grocery, Blade being aroused by He-Man, The Cat In The Hat, Randy Orton being suspended, some nonsense about a chiropractor, and most importantly, Zeus masturbating.
#027 Cornmeal Frosties (April 21)
To shake things up, RD talks about...a trip to his optometrist. It's as exciting as it sounds. To improve on things slightly two also talk about Paul Ellering having his own eye trouble (speaking of eyes) which warrants the use of some 'sad music', Pat Tanaka as a judoist, Ivan Koloff being religious, and Trish Stratus leaving WWE (though not because she's religious).
#028 WoodstockCrap Radio (IN 3-D!!!) (April 28)
With RD and Blade taking May off to work on their book, they spend the rest of their time this week talking about fruity balls, gay talk Palmer Cannon and being pounded in the ass, Verne Gagne's wad, and staying warm with your bitch in the snow. They also talk around it with God as a tag team partner and the 'return' of ECW.
#029 "New and Improved" (June 6)
Returning from their 'vacation', RD has at least taken the opportunity to improve the sound quality so he and Blade no longer sound like they're speaking from underground. They've also got a sponsor! It is Global Internet, who help run the WC site domain. Sadly that's the only things of note this week, assuming you also consider news about Mean Gene Okerlund being sued, Erik Watts' horrible booking, and the Great Khali having giant teeth to also be important.
#030 Zombie Radio (June 16)
The show suddenly takes a flying leap to some sort of weird greatness, or "jumped the Zombie" as RD puts it. With the show being off to respect the sad passing of John Tenta, the Co-Hosts commemorate his memory by talking about the 'debut' of 'ECW' including the greatness that is the Zombie. There's also talk about Randy Savage on The Surreal Life, Kamala's plastic spears, Paul Ellering exercising prostitutes, and DX's 'return', but that's not the point here. Did they have a Zombie groan in the ring? I didn't think so! Trust me, this episode must be given a listen to if only to hear how hilariously crazy it all is.
#031 Double Trouble (June 23)
The Trip to the Grocery now also has Ray Steven's The Streak as well as the music it already has, to RD's sole delight. He and Blade also talk about the food groups, important 'political' news, Lex Luger's drunken antics, Blade at a strip club, Greg Gagne booking, a ECW fallout, and a haiku that breaks Blade's composure.
#032 An angle on Angle (June 30)
To reverse their trend of talking about nothing, RD promises more 'wrestling news'. He then takes half an hour discussing Kurt Angle's move set in thrilling fashion. One would assume he's doing this on purpose to dissuade people from asking him again to do such a thing in the future...There is still time to talk about wrestlers not actually wrestling, wrestling animals, a Diva unable to take her bra off, and a first; a Weekly Wrestling Tanka!
#033 Hapines is a Warm Pun (July 7)
Things return to 'normal'; i.e. the lack of any substantial wrestling developments to discuss. RD and Blade instead talk about John Lauranitis being a secret listener to their show, fake laughter, Blade getting drunk, McMahon being out of date, Mike Knox body slamming people, and compare Divas to blow-up dolls (which is insulting to the blow-up dolls). They also bring the 'return' of the Mailbag to replace their Question of the Week, perhaps realizing that no one wants their Dusty Rhodes book.
#034 Diva Debacle (July 14)
For a change the show is rather strong this week, and with good reason. RD further 'improves' his production by now having his own laugh track; Krankor's infamous laugh from Prince Of Space. The questions they get about Siamese wrestling, the Great Khali in a dog outfit, and a lone fan of the show, are quite compelling. The Big Show's giant hands are idolized. Blade gets drunk with the help of some bizarre drinking-style music. And most importantly, the latest Diva Search sends the two into hysterics over how the Miz pronounces one contestant's name, which is certainly a laugh riot. Don't take my word for it though, listen to it for yourself!
#035 Real Angry (July 28)
As expected (and even with the week off), things are more of a downer here, with RD being angry at Lifesavers for some reason. It's really not that much of a deal to go over. The show is rather subdued here, even with RD's heckles being raised and Blade wanting to see a donkey show (or participate in one, you never can tell with him). They also talk about the victims of the Wellness Policy, more of the Diva Search, and ECW surviving on the believability of Mike Knox, Mr. Charisma.
#036 One Year Anniversary...Somehow (August 11)
Finally, after another week off, the show gets through its first year of existence, and RD and Blade can celebrate with...whatever this is supposed to be. Sure, there are some things that 'fit'. RD finds new laughs to amuse himself, he drinks a lot of milk, John Thomas calls again to pester Blade...and the wrestling news takes as little of the show as is physically possible. Instead we get Blade 'calling in' and calling himself "Bowel Movement Punk" to his own enjoyment and no one else's, some more bad impressions of Terry Funk and Dennis Stamp that spend hours to deliver a bad punchline. It's almost like April Fools once again. As I have said earlier, I hope this is just a one-off occurrence and we don't get anything as bad as this in later years. Otherwise this show would turn out into all kinds of strange awful...
The Year's "Best" Of
Number of episodes: 36
Longest episode (excluding interviews): #034 It's over an hour long!
Shortest episode (excluding interviews): #001 By contrast, the pilot is just over 20 minutes.
Best overall episode: #012 A simply touching interview with John Tenta raises the episode as a whole.
Hear also: #020 #021 The Vince Russo Interview. A very in-depth piece with a notoriously infamous figure of the WWE/WCW wars.
Funniest episode: #030 Just hearing the Zombie moan all the way throughout is enough to make anyone laugh uncontrollably.
Hear also: #002 The Co-Hosts cannot get through a haiku properly without losing themselves, among wondering who on earth is participating in the Diva Search.
#003 Another haiku gets through to the Co-Hosts. These haikus are rather weird ones, I must say.
#013 Everything overall, from Blade checking out Ricky Morton's 'site', Black Friday, and Tajiri's wife's house arrest, all make this enjoyable to listen to.
#034 The whole thing about JT Titty at the Diva Search with the other craziness in wrestling right now is simply hysterical.
Weirdest episode: #036 The whole calling-in nonsense, besides the general meandering of the day as a whole, really sticks out of the rest of the year like a sore thumb. (The earlier call-in show doesn't count because, hey, April Fools and all that.)
Funniest furious few minutes (stand-alone): Blade's strange tale about savagely slicing your ham properly. (#015)
Hear also: Discussion about the Diva Search, including whether a contestant is a woman or not. (#002)
RD seeing a man stand in line to buy a calculator on Black Friday. (#013)
Blade wanting the Great Khali to fornicate with a dog, among other things. (#034)
What The Fuck?: RD taking ten hours talking about Kurt Angle's 'move set' because people 'demanded' it.(#032)
"Hear" also: Blade reveals he has an erection for He-Man. (#013)
An odd segue involving carnivals for some reason. (#013)
"Dennis Stamp" 'calls' in to the show to make bad jokes. (#036)
We listened to THAT?: RD discussing Kurt Angle's move set (#032)
Also confusing: It's all 70's, all the time! (#001)
The timeliness of Dennis Stamp. (#002)
Mommy's milk. (#002)
How bad movie adaptations of Inspector Gadget and The Cat In The Hat tie in to wrestling. (#011)
People 'calling' in to the show. (#024)
It's the weirdest dream, Doc: Tammy Sytch's knowledge of Burt Reynolds movies. (#005)
Funniest line: "Speaking of prostitutes, a man has come." (Blade, #030)
Hear also: "Kinda like being forced to watch a rerun of Maude." (Blade, #001)
"So you got Zorak, you got Chaka, and you've got Ashley Massaro out there. Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2005 Diva Search." (Blade, #002)
"I vomited on myself in enjoyment." (RD, #014)
"I don't want to hear about you and Don busting each other with corn oil." (RD, #017)
"You just talked about having nuts in your mouth." (RD, #025)
What The Fuck was that?: "We killed Dennis Stamp." (RD, #036)
Hear also: "I don't want to live." (Blade, #016)
"I did ejaculate at the He-Man case." (Blade, #026)
Speaking Of...: Verne Gagne masturbating (#022)
And Speaking Of...: Getting pounded in the ass. (#022)
Zeus masturbating. (#026)
Verne Gagne's wad. (#028)
WrestleSex Radio: "I did ejaculate at the He-Man case" (Blade, #026)
Feel also: "I'm glad you enjoyed your sister's Snoopy snow cones" (RD, #022)
"You just talked about having nuts in your mouth" (RD, #025)
Palmer Cannon gay talk. (#028)
"I keep groping myself, there's gonna be some moisture somewhere else." (Blade, #033)
Most startling revelation: Blade having no pants. (#012)
Hear also: Blade's Alien Ham (#015)
Blade's Front Yard Boxing Association Title (#027)
You told us THAT?: Blade failing to get anywhere with Lita at a car show. (#017)
Hear also: Blade's obsession with corn oil. Why not just deep throat the damn thing? (#017)
RD being told he has a harsh voice. You would THINK he would do some quality control on his own radio show... (#036)
That's sure to offend no-one: "I don't want him coming back and playing wheelchair basketball with Droz." (Blade, #030)
Also offensive: RD as a Jewish mother (#023)
"That was fagtacular." (RD, #030)
Most obscure reference: Vladimir Petrov discussion. It's as timely as today's headlines. (#027)
Also confusing: Maude (#001)
Chaka as a "contestant" on the Diva Search (#002)
Actual non-Crap Wrestling discussion: Remembering Saturday Night's Main Event. (#022)
Hear also: The greatness of Apter mags. (#004)
The greatness of "ECW" (#030)
Saddest News: The passing of John Tenta. May he RIP. (#030)
Hear also: The passing of Eddie Guerrero (#012)
Paul Ellering's Cornmeal Frosties (#027)
Favorite on-going news trend: Ricky Morton's jailhouse blues (#009)
See also: Tajiri's wife's motorphobia (#009)
Favorite wrestler to discuss: The Boogeyman. Just don't talk about clocks with him. (#001)
Discuss also: Hulk Hogan, particularly his lactation abilities. (#002)
Least favorite wrestler to discuss: Christy Hemme and her hungry butt. (#017)
Do not discuss also: "B.M. Punk" but that's a bit of a stretch because he's not an actual wrestler. Still, if ever we see such a man on the indie circuit... (#036)
Funniest character: John Thomas and his debt payment crusade against Blade Brakestown. (#024)
Who the fuck is this?: Terry Funk/Dennis Stamp together because they're essentially one and the same. Also because they were terrible to hear. B.M. Punk would also have fit in here, but he's not a bad 'wrestler' impersonation like the earlier two. Also he's easier to hear. (#036)
Favorite sound bite: The Zombie's in town! (#030)
Hear also: Krankor's automobile laugh. (#034)
Best music pad: Blade's drinking music. (#034)
Hear also: Blade's Haiku mood music. (#002)
The show intro (Extreme's Play With Me)
Most out-of-tune music: Blade's "Evil" Haiku music. It sure drowned out whatever he was trying to say. (#010)
Do not hear also: The "new and improved" Ratt theme. (#029)
A+ Haiku: #034
Moronic Divas.
How will this class top last year's?
Leave it to Deever.
F- Haiku: #010
JR's battered ass.
That was so painful. My poor
eyes felt sodomized.
Overall "Season" Score
7/10
Despite the show's few mistakes (understandable of course), the whole thing's been rather enjoyable so far. One wonders how they'll continue with the show going on to the next year/season...