Minisode #101 Johnny Sixplodes

by iggy

April 25, 2008

Mickie James beat the Glamazon
Red Beer
FCW Arena lacks plumbing
Johnny Six meets his demise.

#celebration #celebrate

101 Celebra-neigh-tion: April 25, 2008

Behold! Ghetto Amusement Park "He-Man"...
Celebra-neigh-tion, Disneyland, Johnny Sixplodes
(81 minutes)

Kool and the Gang opens the show with a horsetastic Celebration as Mickie James has been your new WWE Women's Champion for eleven days. This is the third April in a row that she has won the belt.

RD and family went to Disneyland (:10). Blade tells of his ghetto unsafe amusement park trip to see He-Man and Skeletor (:13). Tour guides of Disney's Jungle Cruise tell the same jokes every time, much like this radio progrem (:19).

Blade hit the bottle in celebration since April 14 (:21). He drinks some Miller Lite and V8. While in California, RD passed a Carl's Jr and noticed an ad for Cap'n Crunch Milkshake (:27). A regular-sized Carl's Jr Cap 'n Crunch shake provides 120% of your daily saturated fat needs.

Blade passed a tractor-trailer on the highway whose art advertised Fruit Stripe gum (:33). Blade wonders, what are the odds? Well, the parent company owns ninety trucks.

Faxtrolla: The Ultimate Warrior versus Orlando Jordan (:36). The plumbing at the new arena of WWE's sole farm promotion, Florida Champsionship Wrestling, wasn't finished on schedule. Some crazy rumor has it that Piper said he was asked by the WWE to be in an MMA match before this year's Summer Olympics in Beijing.

Question of the Week: David has a wet nightmare about Ashley Massaro (:49). In response Blade gets into some Dream Analysis: he dreamt of Superstar Billy Graham and the Rods (:53). Johnny Six karaokes Chaka Khan's tune, "I Feel For You," because TNA's Rhaka Khan had other people autograph her trading cards (:62). Blade implores Johnny to sing the intro to the song, and Johnny explodes, with the old dynamite sound effect. Johnny Six is dead (:68). RD's reaction to this is to just...remark on how some DJ Quext of Myspace wants Blade's singing skillz. He is barely affected AT ALL by any side-effects of an explosion; be it the deafening from the noise, shrapnel from the metal hitting him or the Trollas, or even having some comedic black soot on him. He's just worried about who will clean his house now. Is B.M. Punk available?
...And Man-At-Arms!

Mike Adamle has been banished to ECW's announce table next to Taz (:72). RD has wisely chosen to not choose any of the presidential candidates who appeared on Raw this week (:76). It was an embarrassment to the nation. Nader gets my vote again, by default, again. [Oops, I forgot and voted for Obama. --Iggy 09jan16]

Seventeen Syllables of an Exciting Haiku:
Barack is cookin'--
Cookin' a segment more rank
than Hillary's crotch.

Minisode #100 Angry Jim Debuts

by iggy

April 11, 2008

Dwarf House
Mike Knox has a crawlspace
Angry Jim debuts, can't sing Dr. Feelgood
Johnny Six

#bong #sharpie

100 Trashbaggin' in a Dwarf House: April 11, 2008

Trashbaggin' in a Dwarf House
"one of the single worst shows" (:81)
(83 minutes)

Sad News: Blade's lime Simon LeBon t-shirt is gone.

Jakks released a Matilda action figure, albeit with the British Bulldog. One may need to look underneath to make sure it's not Winston, says RD. (:04) This opens a Pandora's box, as Blade tells story about a gay dog's penis (:06), and hallucinates that RD said something about Greg tasting dog semen (:08).

Big Daddy V/World's Largest Love Machine/Viscera/Mabel was taken off the road because he's overweight (:09), which begs the question: why now instead of fifteen years ago?

Nothing happens for four minutes, then RD introduces Blade to Hayseed Dixie, the AC/DC cover band, which is to say nothing happens for nine minutes. Then RD unveils that he went to the Chick-Fil-A Dwarf House (:18). Apparently Gordon Solie was sick (:20). The Coal Miner's Daughter, Sissy Spacek, is not a door (:21). The Dwarfs weren't mining gold nuggets, but chicken nuggets (:25).

Blade got pulled over by the cops again, and must explain the ancient construction-worker secret art of trashbaggin' it (:30). He also tells his 'favorite' story. RD: "You can limit it down to just one?"

Obscure Wrestling News: Mike Knox left some possessions in his former residence (:35). Trish Stratus is opening a yoga studio (:39). This week's induction is the Death of ECW. The Undertaker has a large bedroom for his "huge, special bed" (:42). Jim Ross blogged about Test turning his life around. Turns out there was no wrestling news this week.

RD calls Jim Ross's office as Blade rambles about another trashbaggin' story (:48). "Good Ol' JR" as interpreted by Blade calls the show and rambles for ten minutes. This just in from the Faxtrolla: Test was arrested for drunk driving (:57). "JR": "Buh Gawd he got shitfaced aghen!"

Johnny 6 rolls in to say "Ich. Bin. Ein. T. N. A. Er." because of TNA being broadcast in Germany (:60).

Question of the Week from I.C.: There may be another Short Circuit movie. Johnny Six to Blade: "Hi. Fuck. Face. ... I. Don't. Do. Incest. Like. You. Do." (:67)

Blade says Brother Midnight may address Damien Demento (:71). WWE may build a Hall of Fame. There will be no Katie Vick exhibit. RD suggests that Blade's DNA wasn't the first sample on that outfit (:73). Animatronic Fabulous Moolah. Miss Elizabeth was hotter in WCW. Michelle McCool isn't (:77).

Seventeen Syllable Haiku For This Week:
Barack versus Clinton.
And soon their mixed tag partners:
Donald and Rosie.

Minisode #099 Radio Goo Goo

by iggy

April 4, 2008

White Lion theme
Radio Goo Goo
No Nipples
Johnny Six

#limited vocabulary #RS32

099 Rotting Meat Love Songs: April 4, 2008

No Nipples?
Rotting Meat Love Songs
(73 minutes)

RD bought some songs on iTunes. One of them is from Queen. This week's induction is the Big Show sumo match vs Akebono. Blade takes the excuse to sing randomly.

Blade says he bought a Milli Vanilli CD at a yard sale for 99 cents. Blade, I ask you, who charges 99 cents at a yard sale instead of a dollar? Edge is no longer ED GE, his title belt says REDGER. (:21)

Blade went to Canada and his car was searched and Blade had rotting meat in his trunk. (:23) RD wasn't invited to Jed Shaffer's party but Blade was. RD hints that he wants Blade's meat in his mouth. Blade wants a variety hour with skits and characters instead of a radio progrem.

WWE 24/7 Week 8 33 minutes in: This week features wrestling animals, but not the matches in which people wrestle bears. Blade does his Matilda impersonation.

Obscure Wrestling News (:40): Wrestlers' nipples airbrushed out. For more information, google wrestlemania nipples. Blade: "Not that I'm a big fan of male nipples." Horsetrolla (:46): Mickie James helped a boy who was having a seizure.

Question of the Week (:52): Mr. T.L.Wolf asks about dangerous Trollas. RD proposes a Hymentrolla. RD dusts off the Draftrolla.

Johnny 6 rolls in. (:57)  Blade wanted to be the first wrestling mime. He says he'd wear a mask, neglecting the fact that mimes wear face paint. TNA Impact will be airing on Fox 8 in Australia. Johnny 6: "I. Can't. Wait. To. Tie. Me. Kangaroo. Down."

RD almost says he'll pleasure Blade. RD loves to watch Ashley Massaro wrestle, even when she's terrible in the ring, as always. (:63) Sad News: Kane defeated Chavo in eight seconds, thus besting King Kong Bundy's alleged nine-second victory over SD Jones. (:64) RD and Blade talked about rotting meat on this show than they did WrestleMania. Blade thinks WrestleMania guest Raven Simone played Bill Cosby's daughter. She played his step-granddaughter.

Seventeen Simple Syllables:
Next year's Mania.
One very simple request:
Please, no more pyro.