074 SummerSnore: August 31, 2007

RD's Hardcore Diet
Nyquil Crap Radio
(78 minutes)

The Colts mercilessly beat the Lions again. Blade: "They scored points!" RD wants to make another bet.

RD and Blade may meet Virgil at their indie show in Indiana (October 22nd) and ask him to participate in their carnival. (:08)

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): RD needs to lose three pounds fast.

Obscure Wrestling News (:18): Diva Search Woman and Anchorwoman Lauren Jones has some Surreal Faces. Blade responds with a Bill Cosby impersonation.

RD: "Here's the thing. Everybody does a Bill Cosby impersonation. Like, I am convinced every person on the planet does a Bill Cosby impersonation. I'm also convinced that every single one of them is absolutely terrible."

Buy pudding panties (among other random stuff) at WWE Shop Zone. (:26) One Night Stand should be renamed Going Steady. Pac Man Jones wanted Ron Killings to be at the good quality hotel with him, so TNA (AKA the Kurt Angle Variety Hour) took out the difference from Killings' paycheck. (:32) Clocktrolla: 10103 days. (:36) Poor Beth Phoenix is saddled with the ridiculous ring name of Glamazon. The Co-Hosts don't really want her around.

Question of the Week (:45): Blade has shout-outs: Random meanderings and acknowledgments to fellow Crappers. Cheebie Diablo has a question about UHF in regards to whether Vince has seen it yet. Blade verbally ejaculates.

Sad News: the Diva Search hopeful who called Batista "Bistro" has been cut. Sadder News: on her blog she thanked "Hulk Hojan." (:49) Missy Hyatt's book is full of penises. This week, on a special Facts of Life...RD actually warns people to record next week's ECW which they will talk about next time. (:55) Blade wants to run cliffhangers that have no chance in Hades of working. (:57)

SummerSlam was a forty-dollar sleep-aid. (:59) Blade recreated Hell in a Cell with a beer can. 'Hysterics' with Vince's prospective baby-mommas makes Blade think of papier-mache dildos. RD loves Balls. Speaking of men with tits...

Intergalactic Super Heroic Seventeen Syllable Haiku:
Silver Surfer Rey.
Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
tic 40-inch waist.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The 10 to my 37, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. BladeLosesAgain.com, BoyTheLionsSuck.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 16. Things me and Trash talked about, things that are funny, getting chaffed, Greg Gagne masturbating, bitches you want to see get their ass kicked, good times, 16 bit, the forum, young Kelly, hoses, Bill Fralic, guests, boring and Hunter, people, men with tits (2)
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 10. Rainbow Brite, UHF, Crispin Glover (4), Urkel, Crispin Glover (3)
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade, Blade
 
  • Blade Time Outs: 1
  • I have something to say: 2
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
  • You’re Hurtin' Me Randy!: 1
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 3
  • Christy Hemme References: 1
  • Mickie James References: 2
  • Ashley Massaro References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: Cheebie Diabl
    • Here with a humble question: having recently watched the Weird Al opus UHF at the recommendation of another Crapper, young Kelly (not Kelly Kelly), and knowing about Vince being behind the times, how long until we see a talk show segment called Eugene Podalski's Clubhouse? The problem though is I would hate to think about what hose people would be drinking from. Maybe a new club Vince invents. Dong. No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Silver Surfer Rey.
    Fantastic Four? Try Fantas-
    tic 40-inch waist. 

Minisode #073 "The Cat in the Hat" Gummies

by iggy



August 17, 2007

Feelgood
Blade's Cat in the Hat gummies
The co-host contest is over, and Triple Kelly is on the line.
Feelgood
Pac-Man

#nine-month shelf-life #Morse Code

073 Pac-Crap: August 17, 2007

Crüe Ball
Crap In A Hat
(69 minutes)

ECW's love pentagram. Miz, the dance squad, and now Balls Mahoney. No Mike Knox love sadly. Alien Hammy. Blade: "That sounds so exciting, I’m, I’m literally I’m I’m salivating at the mouth just thinking about it."

RD's Trip to Pick-Up Madden 08 (:09): Dr Feelgood video game music from Crue Ball. (:11) Madden 08 came with a superpretzels coupon, a piece of candy, and Axe shower gel. Four-year-old Cat In The Hat candy. (:19)

Co-Hosss Contest "Winner": the sole female, Kelly. She has a haiku of her own. (:23)

Vincent's bastard kid.
A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
Gooker ends in tie.

Question of the Week (:31): Ultimate Kennedy (4) wants work rate ratings in wrestling video games. Macho Kong. I Want My Mommy.

Horsetrolla (:37): Francine is selling used soap which "smells good through the wrapper" and is "a bargain at half the price.". Faxtrolla (:43): Crush died. Demoliton will reunite. The Book of Lists is delayed to October. Big Show's wife wants a cooking show. Clocktrolla: 10114 days. (:50)

Pac Man Jones, wrestler who is forbidden from wrestling. (:52) Raw has been imitating game-shows. Blade still can't get enough of Linda Hogan. SNME returns.

The Co-Hosts talk about SummerSlam before they realize their mistake. 

Haiku That Speaks for an Entire Generation:
Return of the Game?
I'd rather play Atari
2600.
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Balls to my Mahoney, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks
  • URLs not taken: 2. JackTunney.com, Furthermore.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Things you shouldn’t probably partake in, which, CM Punk and John Morrison
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 2. Atari 2600, Wide World of Sports
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 1. Kelly
 
  • Krankor Laughs: 3
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 2
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 3
  • Cricket Chirps: 2
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
 
  • Mickie James References: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Ultimate Kennedy (4)
    • If a smark were to design a wrestling video game, do you think one of the statistics that they would work into characters would be a work rate listing? Wrestlers could have such things as speed, stamina and work rate. I think there would also be a moveset. I love the idea.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Return of the Game?
    I'd rather play Atari
    Twenty Six Hundred.
  • Kelly's Haiku:
    Vincent's bastard kid.
    A girl co-hosts WrestleCrap.
    Gooker ends in tie.

Minisode #072 Big Dave Bistro

by iggy



August 10, 2007

Cereal straws
Celebrity callers
Big Dave Bistro

#ivy #privey

072 Celebrity Call-In Craptacular: August 10, 2007

Two Year Birthday Party Call-In
(99 minutes)

Second anniversary of the progrem and Blade has lined up three legitimate guests. Sad News: RD is unable to get a hold of Mr. Rourke and Tattoo. RD's neighbor Steve has heard the show and disliked Blade's reliance on swear words. Blade 'apologizes'. It's nice to see him stereotype himself in such a manner.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:11): Kellogg's Cereal Straws. The first trip of this progrem was to the library.

Blade went to a TNA house show in Kansas City and sat near Terry Taylor. He also took a picture of Kurt Angle. "He probably thought I was an alcoholic hobo." (:16)

Clocktrolla: 10124 days. (:20)

A naked Brother Midnight calls. (:26)

Question of the Week from Thorn, though not necessarily a vampire named Kevin. (:42) Chuck Palumbo, one more wrestling biker.

GLOW wrestler Hollywood calls. Moisturizers are discussed. (:46)

Obscure Wrestling News (:62): WWE signed Lacey Von Erich to a developmental contract [which lasts until December]. A Diva Search contestant named Louise Glover thanked Bistro rather than Batista. (:65) Rowdy Roddy Piper will be a GI Joe. After twenty-two years, Cobra has found someone to combat Sgt Slaughter. RD is prophetic for a live action movie. [though sadly he doesn't predict that Destro will be played by the Ninth Doctor. - Future PB]

Ring announcer Fabian Kailen from WSX calls. He's as explosive as the ones on his show. (:69)

WWE Dating Game. (:84) Regal's hair is great. Santino Marella, the spicy meatball. (:87) Supermarket Sweep. Let's Make a Real Deal. (:89) Blade and RD suggest that a midget could play Vince McMahon's seven-year-old son.

This Week's Haiku:
Vince got him some strange.
Thanks to his cheating, now we
get Lance Von McMahon.

WrestleCrap Radio: "Making handfuls of people laugh for two years."
 
 
 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

  • The Happy to my Birthday, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 2. GLOWandGerbils.com, GerbilsandJergens.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 4. Hideous 70s references, fine products from the Trolla Corporation, things comprised of plastic, Let’s Make a Deal
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 5. Ricardo Montalban, Sheena Easton, Hollywood Squares, Supermarket Sweep, Let’s Make a Deal
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
 
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 3. Brother Midnight, Hollywood, Fabian Kailen
 
  • F-Bombs: 1. Blade

  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 1
  • Cricket Chirps: 1
  • ClockTrolla Chimes: 1
  • Brother Midnight's Babies: 118
  • Wearing Pants: 0
  • WSXplosions: 4
 
  • Trish Stratus References: 2

  • Question of the Week from: Thorn
    • Mr. Deal and the Richard Grieco to my Johnny Depp, Blade Braxton, my question's regarding one Chuck Palumbo. First, how many damn bikers have there been in WWF/E? I mean for every Underbiker that actually got over there seems to be a dozen Skulls or Eight-Balls. When are they going to learn that we could care less unless you team him up with Tatanka and the Big Bossman, find a construction worker, and have the Disco Inferno teach them some moves? My other question regarding Chucky P is this: what is the over/under on how long it will take him to be repackaged yet again as another one of Vince's pet gimmicks? My money is on muscley guy in a dress. No sold.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    Vince got him some strange.
    Thanks to his cheating, now we
    get Lance Von McMahon.