286 SmackDrunk: September 30, 2019

A.E.W. Punk?
66 minutes

You can already tell Blade is drunk (All Inebriated WrestleCrap?) since he is confused by military terminology. He praises the WrestleCrap Girdlers at The Big Girdle.

RD: "Is every show we ever do like some kind of, you know, event? Some kind of milestone?"


RD: "It's been almost 20 years since you actually wrote anything on the site."

Drunk Blade wants a Male-Male-Male threesome.

RD compliments the very site you are reading. "They are fantastic people, they do fantastic work." (:12) Acting oppositely from his co-host, Drunk Blade had to deter a co-worker from becoming a 13th Listener.

RD offers Drunk Blade cinnamon apple straws, a variation of veggie straws. He likes them and its malic acid, the term that Blade would want as another indie wrestler persona (although it would fit better as a finisher in my opinion). (:15)

RD reminds people he once managed Mark Henry when he fought The Big Show, who is getting a Netflix comedy series (which is probably not this one). RD thinks he could play a neighbor teacher. Drunk Blade: "You could have thrown away a WWE career." (:21) Blade now has to avoid people due to his WC work, or something. His phone responds by avoiding him temporarily.

C.M. Punk is getting some sort of tryout on some show or other which might see his return to WWE. B.M. Punk disapproves. RD gives him one (log) line. (:32) Recovering Mickie James may do commentary on Main Event. Drunk Blade remains confused drunk.

Who else would they want to see return to commentate? (:35) RD wants Ernie Lad, Howard Finkel, and yelling Brian Knobbs. Drunk Blade can't count, but he wants (Satanic) Superstar Billy Graham, Susan St. James, the Black Scorpion (where would he have space for his magic tricks?), and Demolition Axe.

This week, RD reads the "You Asked Us!" column in The Wrestler Magazine June 1989 (:44). "Mat Reporter" Lori Long of Edmonton writes to the "British Bulldogs" to inquire about Matilda's condition. Drunk Blade thinks the tag team nursed her. I'm just glad none of his exes had a pet dog for him to try this out personally.

Paul O'Parka of Facebook (2) asks about reviving cereals. (:49) RD wants the return of Vanilla Captain Crunch which lasted three months in the 70s. Blade remembers Strawberry Shortcake (not Crunch?) cereal, but he wants ET cereal since they tasted like a woman or something. One wonders where he ate that cereal from.

WWE will have pyrotechnics again. Drunk Blade thinks they once killed someone, but sadly does not add that information onto a Wikipedia page. (:54)

Televised wrestling will be literally weekly, even before including indies and PPVs and whatever Impact is currently doing. Blade fears for his partner's health in following it all, rather than just reading summaries of them online like just about everyone else except him (all that daytime work while sober probably prevents him from being online too much, understandably).
Blade still uses a VCR to record wrestling in 2019?

Seventeen Syllables:
Way too much wrestling.
All of these shows. Gentlemen,
Start your VCRs.

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

285 By The Numbers: September 1, 2019

No comment.
70 minutes

The Anniversary is observed two weeks late because the Fruitcakes wanted to "discuss" AEW All Out. RD teases things. Speaking of teasers, Mickie James turned 40. (:04) The two use the opportunity to ramble in reminiscence.

RD claims they had the proto-podcast, ideally run by wrestling ring veterans repeating the same jokes over and over. (:12) Once they can get the "hilarity" out of the way, he tries some Southern Recipe Cheesy Halapeno Flavored Curls (not to be confused with Herr's own) which taste similar to Cheetos. Blade is recording in his truck with the window down parked by a Target. Let's hope he doesn't fall out of it if he has to pee.

The Fruitcakes were unable to attend Starrcast III due to their conflicting schedules. (:24) Blade was one of the background staff in an upcoming Netflix revival of Unsolved Mysteries. RD is a Ninja Mime. C.M. Punk who did attend did neither, but he wishes to be in a Spider-Man movie instead. B.M. Punk disagrees naturally. He doesn't need to fall out of a truck if he has to poop, he'll have you know! (:29)

Today's Apter Mag Delight (:32) is Pro Wrestling Illustrated Weekly from exactly May 6, 1991 and has Ric Flair "concerned" with El Gigante without any sense of irony. Blade wanted to go to Washington D.C. to see Baby Doll in person.

RD again went to Facebook for his Question. (:39) Mike Still asks who's Becky. Or, as he wrote it: "WHOSE BECKY?!?!?" Blade and his ex have made amends and can now laugh over such things which he feels obligated to explain in case there are new listeners or something equally uncommon.

Blade reminds RD that he used to work shows with Ken Patera's daughter. RD initially wants her and her old man booked to do swinging full nelsons at their Carnival before learning that he's 76 years young (and still hungry). (:42) Cracker Barrel's All Out with its VG Young Bucks was alright. Jim calls to congratulate himself for appearing on so many radio progrems and ask for his cut and a hot tag from Robert Gibson for some reason. (:50) He also gets his numbers wrong while preparing his Halloween turkeys. And I'll bet he doesn't need to fall out of a truck if he has to do so either! He also randomly got arrested while trying to buy fireworks and had to get Bob Caudle to bail him out since Hollywood John Tatum went to the circus or something. "Go fluff yourself!" he mumbles.

What are the two's favorite Mickie James moments? (:58) RD remembered her acting with Jennie Jones, her Christmas ornament, and her censored WM feud with Trish Stratus. Blade remembered her first appearance, attending a team battle in 2007 where she noticed his shirt, as well as that same Trish feud.

Seventeen Syllables:
We're fourteen years old.
Almost driver's license time.
Driving off the cliff.

$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right