My Interview With WCR URL Taker: Jimichiro Rosshu

Disclaimer: The characters in this interview are fictional and not intended to insult anyone living or passed away. They are both loosely based parodies of a former wrestling announcer where one is also a parody of bad Japanese stereotypes from Hollywood films and TV shows. And if you're reading this, you are staring too close.

by R.V.M Kai.

Well it seems that this very website will continue to be called for the foreseeable future. What happened to our URL you ask? Well "someone" accidentally let the re-registration lapse in late March 2014 and we lost it. Well, it was no big deal since no content was lost and we could still run with ".blogspot" in the name. So Premier Blah and I agreed to just let the URL be and see who would take it when it became available in mid-June. Although something like that happening would have been unlikely. I mean, who else would want even want to take that URL?

...Or that's what we thought, as the day came and we surprisingly find out that the URL was "taken" by someone from...Japan (no joke) of all places? And who was this guy anyway? Was it the Japanese RD Reynolds needing it to start a podcast about Sushi flavored breakfast cereals...and wrestling? PB thought that it might have been taken by Krankor who would probably use it to turn it into a "Prince Of Space" fan site? Yes, the only one!

"I've got your site now, ya scum!"

So I then decided to check the URL for myself. What I found (at first) was that it re-directed to what looked like a Japanese modelling agency site that was basically full of pictures of Japanese girls holding clocks for some reason (surprisingly, this new site already seemed more entertaining than our website). Unfortunately, this didn't last long as later in the day it had changed to a blog with some writing in Japanese which also included some "not safe for work" images.

So, I spent the rest of the day finding out who this "URL taker" from Japan was and tried to contact him via email (hoping that he also understood English). Well, he responded and agreed to do an interview for In this interview I found out about some secret meeting he had with Premier Blah, that even I knew nothing about, and that he also happens to be related to a member of this very website who "used" to write some blogs for us. So sit back and enjoy (if you can) this interview with....Jimichiro Rosshu:

R.V.M Kai: Good Evening Jimichiro. Can you give us a background on yourself?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Konnichiwa, Kai-san. My name Jimichiro Rosshu. I am assistant manager, one of 40, of most honorable Japanese company "Fukyu Selfu Robotics". We produce robots and electronics far superior to your Trolla Corporation. I have tried to make deal with Blah-san to purchase most wanted Trolla Corporation but he refuse to sell. I have suffered cut in pay for failure to make deal and now feel dishonor and shame.

R.V.M Kai: So what happened to our domain name?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Honorable manager Selfu-sama very mad deal fail with Trolla Corporation and purchase domain name that used to be owned by Blah-san as revenge. He also give to me this very shameful American URL to produce website as punishment for my dishonor.

R.V.M Kai: Er...yes but that "shameful" URL was supposed to be ours. Can we have it back?

Jimichiro Rosshu: No!

R.V.M Kai: But wouldn’t it perhaps...bring less shame to you if you did?

Jimichiro Rosshu: No!

R.V.M Kai: Why?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Jimichiro also wish to promote Fukyu Selfu Robotics to global market and understand that I need name of related expired American podcast to advertise to Trolla customer. Also I think already taken. Also your Trolla Corporation produce far inferior robots like Johnny Sixu. Japanese made "Johnny Seven" far more superior technology, it able to clean up itself after explode. Also Clocktrolla product also very weakened, Fukyu Selfu Robotics produce far better clock that count up, not down, and alarm ring only at Infinity. Jimichiro believe that I use, I’m not sure how to pronounce..."resucrapuadio dot comu", to better promote product than Trolla Corporation.

R.V.M Kai: Well thanks a lot!

Jimichiro Rosshu: Welcome.

R.V.M Kai: Actually I was being...never-mind. Come to think of it, I did originally see something on your new website that looked to me like a blog just of pictures of Japanese girls holding clocks? Did you make those?  And, while I'm at it, did you happen to take those photos yourself?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Hai, to first question. No, to second. They are as you say "photo-shopped". Jimichiro is married man.

R.V.M Kai: So is that why you changed your website now? Because it’s now showing something written in Japanese and while I can’t read Japanese I did notice that there's nothing even there about your clocks, or even robots for that matter, anymore...but there seems to be something written in Japanese including a few pictures that are, let’s just say, "Not safe for work". Does your wife approve...

Jimichiro Rosshu: Dishonor yourself! I am too shamed to write about Mr. Selfu-sama honorable company right now! I don’t know how say in English but throbbing thing with wife is gone ten years and married a lot already! I'm suffer from sexless and feel like write about that! Jimichiro also suspect that wife is have sex date once a month with evil former Gaijin wrestler from All Japan Pro-Wrestling, a company who I also once commentate for before being fired!

R.V.M Kai: That's funny, this former wrestler that you mention, it didn’t happen to be Johnny Ace by any chance?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Aggggggghhhh! Ace-san! You disgrace me by mention that name! I sit at front of house with katana each day waiting to choppy choppy his pee-pee!

R.V.M Kai: Okay calm down, we don’t want...come to think of it you remind me of someone I know, but I'll get into that later. worked as an announcer for All Japan? How was that like?

Jimichiro Rosshu: I work for best puroresu company in world! Best time in career was working for honorable Giant Baba and commentate matches for very gooood American talent, Dr. Death Steve William! Every time I announce him in main event I shout Doctooooorrr Deathhhhhhuuuuuu! Doctooooorrr Deathhhhhhuuuuuu! Doctooooorrr Deathhhhhhuuuuuu!

R.V.M Kai: Then why were you fired then?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Giant Baba very good boss but when die and Mitsuharu Misawa take over company, it not same! Misawa-san want to make Jimichiro join "Kiss my ketsunoana club"! So I challenge him to Karate showdown....and lose! It make me dishonored with shame! But it all Johnny Ace fault! He put extra sake in Jimichiro soy sauce when I not looking before fight! I know he even steal Jimichiro love! You heard of beautiful "Lioness Asuka" of famous "Crush Gals" tag team?

R.V.M Kai: Well, no but...

Jimichiro Rosshu: Dishonor yourself! She most beautiful joshi girl! And when search on Internet, still sexy today! But have not seen her in many years! All Jimichiro can do now is look at Saffle site and pound something nostalgic in basement!

R.V.M Kai: (*Almost vomiting*) I don't think I wanted to know about what you do to "dishonor yourself" in the basement. That's almost as bad as Angry Jim's obsession with Dark Journey...

Jimichiro Rosshu: No you baka! I refer to other side-business I have...but who’s name did you just speak of?!

R.V.M Kai: Er, you mean; Angry Jim Ross?

Jimichiro Rosshu: You speak of that redneck American cousin of mine!? You also bring me dishonor by mentioning that name!

R.V.M Kai: You're cousins?

Jimichiro Rosshu: Hai! My Mother and his Uncle, who was American Football player for Sooners, met at Karaoke bar while on vacation! They then conceive me with drunkenness and never see him again! She still live with dishonor and shame for 60 years! I also renounce family relationship to that baka Jim because we do not share opinion on cooking method! Jimichiro believe that Soy Sauce is far superior to redneck BBQ sauce and robotic powered Stir Fry is better than inferior propane fueled BBQ! I almost mention before that I also run Stir Fry and Soy Sauce side-business to supplement lost income due to unfortunate pay cut from Selfu-sama! I also program employee Steve William robot to help beat my pulled pork with rapid action! My Robotic Stir-fry and Soy sauce company more successful than failed redneck BBQ sauce company!

R.V.M Kai: Oh, so that's where Doc ended up....or the cyborg version of him anyway? Well I guess...

R.V.M Kai: Hello?

How ya doing tonight Kai?!

R.V.M Kai: JIIIM! I wasn’t expecting...

Ah, **** yourself! What are you talking to this son of a ***** about?!

R.V.M Kai: Well originally we were talking about his company taking our URL and...

Yeah yeah yeah, I don’t care about your ****ing story! What's this **** about this ****head saying that my BBQ sauce is ****!? Your Soy sauce Jimichiro is like a government mule p***ing acid!

Jimichiro Rosshu: With all honor and respect you can, as you say, blow your BBQ out of your propane ***hole!!

Go **** yourself! I'm gonna sue your robocop *** for copyright infringement you rat b****rd!

Jimichiro Rosshu: No you go fook yourself! I get "Ace Attorney" Naruhodou-san to sue you! And then I kicka your ***!

R.V.M Kai: JIIIIIMM!....JIIIMMICHIAAARRROOO!!!.... That's inappropriate! I give up! Thanks for your time Jimichiro, or should I call you "Angry" Jimichiro? *sigh*

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