Return Of The Gooker, Once Again, Return Of The Gooker!

When you take a look at these nominations all I have to say is...Thank God I'm not watching WWE these days! Hit it!

Return of The Gooker, once again, Return of The Gooker, Oh My Lord!

Raging_Demons here once again kiddies. Yes while not dealing with Mike Check I get to do this once in a while. It is once again Gooker Time. Yes the 2016 nominations of The Gooker are out. The Gooker represents by the wrestling fans as the most recognized award for the worst ever in pro wrestling. Be it a match, a storyline, a wrestling character, and for the first time EVER the grand daddy of them all, they are eligible to receive the award for the worst of the worst.

Luckily I missed most of this mess. For those that don't follow me social or comment wise I am no longer watching WWE. It had started with that "Sting's Road to Wrestlemania" garbage giving that feeling that all it was is simply for Vinnie Mac to stroke his cock. Then we add Road Dogg's insensitive Twitter comments basically saying, and I'm paraphrasing here and also this is important since Road Dogg is a WWE Road Agent now (Gee I wonder how he GOT THAT JOB?!?) where he said "Sure you can go try it out (referring to watching other wrestling promotions like New Japan, Ring Of Honor, and even TNA of all things) but we all know that you'll be back (referring to always coming back and watching WWE)" which I found completely tasteless. The straw that broke the camel's back was one guy's constant, never ending push even thought he's got the physical gifts but the actual talent of a Ziggy comic.

You know the guy. Roman Reigns. That was it! Thank God for The Broken Hardy's for bringing me back to wrestling.

So I got to watched all of this for you and let me say...

God damn 2016 was bad! Did The Ratings Reaper try to kill actual wrestling talent as well?

Without further adieu here are your 2016 Gooker Nominations!


1. Wrestlemania 32: There have been several close attempts for a Wrestlemania, deemed "The Grand Daddy Of Them All", to be nominated for a Gooker, but this is a first time EVAH that a Wrestlemania has been nominated for a Gooker. Not only the event was WAY longer than the entire run of "Firefly" but most of the matches were either ranging from mediocre to god awful. Yes even Shane McMahon's match with The Undertaker were in the lines of cringe worthy.

2. Jeff Jarrett Selling "Global Force Gold": Hey you! Yes you! You like Jeff Jarrett? You like Jarrett's idea of a World Pro Wrestling League called "Global Force Wrestling"? You like gold? I know you like gold! Well Jeff Jarrett has a deal FER YOU! Sure selling gold may look like a pyramid scheme of Herbalife levels and this makes all the gold selling commercials that you see on FOX News seem even less credible than this, but its gold right? RIGHT?!?

3. Darren Young versus Titus O' Neill with Young's Life Coach...Bob Backlund?!?: Personally speaking I think that Darren Young gets constant crap level gimmicks due to the part that he's openly gay. Pro Wrestling at times can be so mentally backwards. Heck, Paul Heyman and Colt Cobana admitted in interviews that there's still antisemitism in pro wrestling today! Okay mini-rant over moving on. Bob Backlund has been a great character in the previous years, even Mick Foley admitted that in one of his books; I think it was "Foley Is Good" but I'm not quite sure but don't let me know about via Social Media okay. SO what do you do to make Darren Young a wrestler on Roman Reigns' level? You...force him to feud Titus O' Neill over and over again with Backlund doing random stuff during the feud that makes no sense what so ever. HUH?!?

4. Enzo Amore's TRIP TO...Sensitivity Training: Remember this kiddies...

Okay take the same premise, change it a little, let's say...a sensitivity class. Put in Enzo Amore, who is so freaking huge right now it's not funny. Enzo Amore is big, GABBY HAYES BIG! What you end up is a set of "comedy" skits, and I refer to "comedy" in this sense as in you were supposed to laugh at the jokes but instead you look at it and say to yourself "Who the hell wrote this crap?" Like what you're reading right now. OH!

The bottom line here is that these "Sensitivity Training" skits made Enzo Amore look real bad here.

5. The Big Nippled Vampire (Shelly Martinez) versus Rebel: Every Wrestlecrap Radio Listener (all 12 of them) and even us here at knows who Shelly Martinez is. She's The BNV, the Big Nippled Vampire. Shelly got that name during her times in the WWE version of ECW running around as a vampire with giant fake fun bags with, as RD Reynolds would say about her nipples are "big and round as a dinner plate". Shelly is also a great wrestler and entertainer wise and I personally met her and she is a good person...Just don't try to start an argument with her because she will win! Oh yes she will! So what happen when a highly trained wrestler like Shelly Martinez goes up against a VERY GREEN wrestler like Rebel who is known for only two things: She can wear jean shorts so tiny that they look like she's wearing a thong and she's real life best friends with Christy Hemme? Put the two together and you get a match that is SO BAD that if I air the video here right now you would sue all of us for causing such psychological damage and I SO do not want that to happen! I hate to steal RD's gimmick but...SPEAKING OF HORRIBLE BAD THINGS!

6. The Wyatt Compound Match: There were a lot of people not happy that "Broken" Matt Hardy and his hijinks along with "Brother Nero" (I Knew You Would Come!) Jeff Hardy should be a shoe-in for a Gooker, but lets face the facts here that Matt Hardy actually created what WWE has been trying for years. Actual "Sports Entertainment" that is good. With the popularity of The Broken Hardyz WWE decided to do one little, itty, bitty, tiny thing. They tried to rip-off "The Final Deletion", turn it into a gimmick match with The Wyatt Family and The New Day, and turned it into a third rate garbage match that hasn't been seen in years. Let me edit that for a sec here. They ripped-off "The Final Deletion", made it into a fifth rate garbage match, and they ripped off Rob Zombie and his movies by making that match look like crap that Uwe Boll poops out. By the way I'm way glad Uwe Boll is retired. Gotta steal Deal's gimmick again here. SPEAKING OF THE NEW DAY!

7. The New Day vs Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson Feud: Poor Luke Gallows. He started as the mouth breather Festus, became liberated in The Straight Edge Society, and was a part of Aces and Eights. Yeesh! I feel bad for the guy. Gallows FINALLY gets some success in New Japan as a part of The Bullet Club. Then he along with fellow Bullet Club members AJ Styles and Karl Anderson get signed by WWE. While AJ Styles gets his own solo push the other two, Gallows and Anderson, get...this crappy feud right here! The Old Day? Midget New Day members? Anderson holding a jar of Big E's testicles saying that "he got no balls?" Did Triple H give Gallows and Anderson a D-Generation X Joke Book and say "Here do everything in this book when you are feuding with The New Day?" FFS MAN!

8. The Shining Stars: OK what the hell! It all begins with Primo and Epico getting a attractive female valet. Then they become comical masked bullfighters with a pet midget dressed as a bull. Now they are Puerto Rico time share sallsmen! What the hell did they do to deserve this crap?!?

Oh yeah, they're related to this guy here!

[I'm quite astonished no one has yet memed on Carlito having Giorgio "The A is for Aliens" Tsoukalos' hair. - PB]

9. The Golden Truth: What happens when you combine R-Truth and Goldust?

Oh Hell No! Instead of two wild and crazy guys we got two guys stuck in a constant loop of really bad jokes and honestly I'm quite offended. I'm supposed to be the one to tell lame jokes around here!

10. TNA in 2016: My personal pick for who should win the Gooker. TNA in 2016 was literally quite a huge embarrassment. First they started to stiff their wrestlers and their technical staff with not paying them. Then they lost wrestlers and staff left and right. Then they had to beg around to get money to do some recording of shows which is downright sad. Then they had wrestlers perform piss poor matches on TV since they are no longer a wrestling company. Then they began stiffing all their creditors not paying them back. Then they got an investor like Billy Corgan, who ran his own (actual) wrestling promotion, to invest in them only to alienate and steal from him. Its like all of this is a giant scheme of some sorts...

(Credit: James Hornsby over at Check it out now! Its one of my favorite websites!)

Whatever or however TNA does business is beyond me. After all the stupid stuff that they do they always finds a way to stay alive. With recent news event Dixie Carter is now gone from TNA, having new owners from Anthem Sports (Finding new buyers to take over is WAY beyond me for a money-pit of an organization like TNA), and just recently re-signing Dutch Mantell and Jeff Jarrett (Have you heard? Our current Gooker Nominee has a way for you to be rich on gold!) they can actually get out of this mess but in 2016 you can teach a class on TNA on how many times TNA FUBAR'ed.

10 Nominees, 1 winner. You got until January 14th! That's next Saturday kids! GET TO VOTING FOR YOU THINK WILL BE THE GOOKER WINNER NOW!

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