286 SmackDrunk: September 30, 2019

A.E.W. Punk?
66 minutes

You can already tell Blade is drunk (All Inebriated WrestleCrap?) since he is confused by military terminology. He praises the WrestleCrap Girdlers at The Big Girdle.

RD: "Is every show we ever do like some kind of, you know, event? Some kind of milestone?"

...

RD: "It's been almost 20 years since you actually wrote anything on the site."

Drunk Blade wants a Male-Male-Male threesome.

RD compliments the very site you are reading. "They are fantastic people, they do fantastic work." (:12) Acting oppositely from his co-host, Drunk Blade had to deter a co-worker from becoming a 13th Listener.

RD offers Drunk Blade cinnamon apple straws, a variation of veggie straws. He likes them and its malic acid, the term that Blade would want as another indie wrestler persona (although it would fit better as a finisher in my opinion). (:15)

RD reminds people he once managed Mark Henry when he fought The Big Show, who is getting a Netflix comedy series (which is probably not this one). RD thinks he could play a neighbor teacher. Drunk Blade: "You could have thrown away a WWE career." (:21) Blade now has to avoid people due to his WC work, or something. His phone responds by avoiding him temporarily.

C.M. Punk is getting some sort of tryout on some show or other which might see his return to WWE. B.M. Punk disapproves. RD gives him one (log) line. (:32) Recovering Mickie James may do commentary on Main Event. Drunk Blade remains confused drunk.

Who else would they want to see return to commentate? (:35) RD wants Ernie Lad, Howard Finkel, and yelling Brian Knobbs. Drunk Blade can't count, but he wants (Satanic) Superstar Billy Graham, Susan St. James, the Black Scorpion (where would he have space for his magic tricks?), and Demolition Axe.

This week, RD reads the "You Asked Us!" column in The Wrestler Magazine June 1989 (:44). "Mat Reporter" Lori Long of Edmonton writes to the "British Bulldogs" to inquire about Matilda's condition. Drunk Blade thinks the tag team nursed her. I'm just glad none of his exes had a pet dog for him to try this out personally.

Paul Oparka of Facebook asks about reviving cereals. (:49) RD wants the return of Vanilla Captain Crunch which lasted three months in the 70s. Blade remembers Strawberry Shortcake (not Crunch?) cereal, but he wants ET cereal since they tasted like a woman or something. One wonders where he ate that cereal from.

WWE will have pyrotechnics again. Drunk Blade thinks they once killed someone, but sadly does not add that information onto a Wikipedia page. (:54)

Televised wrestling will be literally weekly, even before including indies and PPVs and whatever Impact is currently doing. Blade fears for his partner's health in following it all, rather than just reading summaries of them online like just about everyone else except him (all that daytime work while sober probably prevents him from being online too much, understandably).
Blade still uses a VCR to record wrestling in 2019?

Seventeen Syllables:
Way too much wrestling.
All of these shows. Gentlemen,
Start your VCRs.



$31.50 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

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