The Purr-fect Crime
March 16, 1966
"Catwoman initiates a series of thefts that cause Commissioner Gordon to summon Batman and Robin. But the importance of the crimes go beyond the taking of the objects involved. The Dynamic Duo eventually find Catwoman's lair. But Robin is whisked away while Batman is given a choice between two doors. If he picks the right door, he'll find Catwoman. If he picks the wrong one, he'll face certain doom. The hero makes the wrong selection and is about to be attacked by a tiger."
74 minutes
"RD: Smitten with the Kitten". He warned his wife he was going to discuss "the one and only" Catwoman. Vince wonders about his "devious" look. RD is going to make him wait on talking about the different actors despite their not wanting them changed in the first place. Mrs. Deal wanted them to Batpole rate the men. RD asked her to rate whoever will appear next.
At midnight at "Museum" (for Gotham City Art) (:10), a guard is assaulted by a house cat and a clawed hand makes a circular hole in glass to steal a golden cat statue.
Cycle to Police HQ where Gordon and O'Hara are confused by the theft. Bonnie, Gordon's secretary, gets -2 then -3 Batpoles from Vince because she shares screen time with Catwoman. RD gives her a more normal 6: "I don't even know what to say to that." She gives Gordon a gift kitten from the "oddest looking man" because..."I don't know." Gordon is immediately enamored by it. There's also a newspaper clipping of "multi-millionaire" Mark Andrews who had been robbed of the statue. RD wonders if he is richer than Bruce. Gordon: "I smell the tracks of a feline predator!"
Cycle to Stately Wayne Manor where Bruce is beating Dick at 4-D chess. "It's quite rudimentary, Dick. You just have to think 14 moves ahead, that's all!" Dick: "Holy Reshevsky! I think I'll stick to my Latin crossword puzzles!" Alfred loudly declares "PHONE SIR!" "NO BRA THIS WEEK." Vince handwrote about Aunt Harriet. RD wonders why she can't hear the Batphone.
The Duo then come to Police HQ. Batman: "I am sure this is just the first stitch in a large tapestry of crime!" He summons Mark by asking about him where he says a second statue is at another exhibition for insurance. Vince reveals that for a time following common corporate and political practice, the McMahons would never travel together. O'Hara offers Batman backup policemen for some reason. Batman: "I don't want to cast any aspersions on the police department, but I think this time it's better Robin and I go it alone. Any large contingent of police officers might create unnecessary confusion." RD: "In other words, you guys suck."
As they prepare to leave, Batman notices Robin has not buckled his "safety Batbelt". "It won't be long until you're old enough to get a drivers license, Robin. Then you'll be able to drive the Batmobile and other vehicles. Remember: motorist safety." RD wonders if he will want to drive anything else besides the Batmobile. He had to install seatbelts on his first car. 16 year old Vince once hit a parked car while changing his 8-track and told his parents he hit ice.
A blue van is seen in front of the Gato & Chat Fur Company where slowly revealed Catwoman resides with her complaining henchmen Leo and Felix. (:29) Julie Newmar breaks RD's Batpole completely (ahem) like Charro by getting 28 then 38 then 48 then 58 then 69. Vince gives her a more reasonable 10. She reads a book on "the lost treasures of Captain Manx" in the "dark years" of Gotham City before it became...a criminal hotbed.
In the Batcave a distraught looking Batman tells Alfred he's found out it was the Catwoman behind the theft. Alfred: "Will she ever learn?" They have to refuel the Batmobile by sticking a tube into the exhaust while Batman puts gloves on top of his gloves to make a radioactive tracking spray for the Bat-o-meter. RD prefers that to the same old boring bugs.
At the Exhibition the Duo go to buy tickets where they encounter Leo disguised as a scalper. He calls his boss on a Catphone to inform her. Standing guard, Batman goes on patrol for "three minutes and 20 seconds", allowing Catwoman to cat attack Robin so she can steal the statue. Robin: "Holy cats, a cat!" Batman: "You feline devil! What have you done with Robin?" Vince wonders the villains wear masks when they are already wearing their costumes. Cue an awful fight with the goons while she waits in a corner.
They escape, making sure the Duo can follow them. Catwoman: "You can brush my pussy willows before you leave. And don't go against the fur." Vince: "Goldust didn't even talk like that!"
The Batmobile is parked so that Robin can walk all over it annoying RD to no end. (:50)
Robin: "Gato & Chat Fur Company. Gato means cat in Spanish and chat means cat in French! Only the Catwoman would choose a hideout with those names."
Batman: "I'm glad you're up on your foreign languages, Robin, they come in handy when fighting crime."
Robin: "Si, si, Batman. What do we do now?"
They shoot at the door with a Batbeam blowing up the handle.
Robin: "We might have been killed!"
Batman: "Or worse."
Vince thinks they mean motorboating Aunt Harriet. RD makes a big show of protest.
The Duo are trapped in the catacombs (not by Aunt Harriet). Vince doesn't like her laugh. The walls start closing in trash compactor style. Batman tells Robin to "hit the deck" while he tries to keep the walls apart before he notices the spikes are fake. Then a bomb explodes into a flag. Then she decides to "separate Damon from Pythias" by dropping a glass tube on Robin. Batman has to choose one of two doors, which contains a tiger. RD does his Popeye impression, ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.
Vince got a mysterious package from RD that he won't open until the time is right. (:65)
RD is alarmed he forgot Jim Herd's name.
- Special Guest Villain: Catwoman (Julie Newmar)
- SPEAKING OFs: 4. Up to no good, ratings and such, interesting vehicles, forewords
- Blue Van: 1
- Outdated references: 1. Damon & Pythias
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