Minisode #183 Angry Jim's Summer Job

by iggy



September 10, 2010

The Movietrolla fires up because Midnight Rose has a role.
Billy Gunn had a ring rat.
Angry Jim has a lawn mowing business.
C.S. Irwin talks about Hulk in the hospital.
Haiku about the 6'9" Amazon

#cinnabon cereal #oak tree

Random Thoughts from the Office, September 10, 2010

WrestleCrap goes Hollywood? Now I've seen it all. The idea of the Midnight Rose and Katie Vick having intimate relations. If that doesn't win an Oscar then by God nothing will. Although it does make me wonder what would happen if Blah ever got an acting gig.....You know maybe somethings are better off as a mystery.
[...film. I'd be PERFECT as Sherlock Holmes I think. Are you a good doctor as well Clarence? - PB] [Not at the moment but I could easily learn. Are Hollywood Upstairs Medical College still taking students?]

For example we have TNA's current booking plans. [They have plans?] Look, it's clear that they're now focusing on the one real asset they have left; Impact, as No Surrender used the good old Hook-and-Drag technique to try and get people to tune into Impact to see just who out of Jeff Hardy and Kurt Angle would face Mr Anderson at Bound for Glory, which is weird considering their next Impact is next week.

On face value the whole idea does seem a little ass-backwards. The only people buying TNA pay per views nowadays are hardcore TNA fans, the people who'll already be watching Impact anyway. So the idea of creating a new audience out of something they already have just doesn't seem like it's going to achieve anything. However in this case I actually think the idea has merit.

First the negative. If the plan is to create a new audience for Impact it will fail. Like I said only hardcore fans order the Pay Per Views and the people who don't are just going to find out on Impact or not watch like they usually do.

However, I think if TNA uses this as a catalyst to start scaling back their Pay Per Views, then they may have something. TNA is a television based product, always has been, they don't draw enough at house shows and Pay Per Views held outside the Impact Zone to make money, Pay Per Views are a huge expense, especially when you're only getting allegedly 8000 buys at a time...So unless each place has 150 people everyone watching Impact is not ordering the Pay Per View.

It's a problem TNA has always had and it's now a problem WWE is beginning to have. Both companies fail in the one aspect that's driven wrestling for the past 25 years: the build to get people to buy your Pay Per Views. WWE can partially get away with it because of Brand Recognition, as Wrestlemania is always going to draw a big number because it's Wrestlemania. But their shows outside of the Big 4 have gone consistently lower and lower, because they don't give people compelling reasons to watch. Look at Night of Champions. They're building the show around Kane vs The Undertaker, a match most wrestling fans didn't want to see the last time it went around at Wrestlemania XX let alone now, and don't get me started on the fucking storyline. "Oooooh, Kane's stolen The Undertaker's powers!" Since when did professional wrestling turn into the fucking X-Men? (And if it has why isn't Gail Kim dressed up as Jubilee?) The hottest story they have is one they're hardly giving attention to; The Miz and Daniel(son) Bryan for the US title and when the numbers come out they'll probably be shocked at why it's so low.

TNA's worse! They actually did one of the smartest build ups just a couple of years ago with the build up to the first Kurt Angle-Samoa Joe match. They knew that this match was their ace in the pack and for once they didn't fuck it up, they kept building it on Impact and building it till people couldn't wait to see them fight. The result of course was TNA's highest buyrate by far and a hopeful outlook for the future, but they didn't stick with it and the results now speak for themselves.

TNA shouldn't be doing 12 Pay Per Views a year, they're just not a big enough company anymore. Even if they don't get the rumored Spike TV specials they should still only be doing at the most one every two months. I think it should be four, once every three months but six will work. The next thing they have to do is stop giving away your money matches on Impact. I'm not saying that having Abyss face Rob Van Dam on Impact is wrong, but so many potential money drawing matches have been given away for free. Samoa Joe-Jeff Hardy, Jeff Hardy-Rob Van Dam, the Title switch to Rob Van Dam, it's all been given away for free in the quest for ratings. There was another company that did that..I think there was a C in their name..I wonder what happened to them?

Changing to a once every other month schedule will give time for storylines to develop and build to the point you want to see them. UFC does it now, they announce the main event and big money fights for their next three cards on their website and even that creates a buzz amongst the MMA community as they all speculate about what we're going to see; what will happen if Fighter X pulls off the upset or who'll the next challenger will be if Champion Y retains his belt.

I'm going to paint a highly hypothetical situation, one that will likely never happen and probably couldn't happen in this environment: What would happen if TNA announced next month Chris Jericho was going to appear at Final Resolution? Nothing's ever mentioned about what exactly he's going to do, just the fact he's going to be there. I realize TNA has done this sort of thing before, saying a "game-changer" was going to appear at a time and place, they did it with Christian and Kurt Angle; but they never announced those beforehand even if they were heavily rumored.

I'm saying what would happen if they came out and said for certain Chris Jericho would appear? With all due respect to Angle and Christian, this would be the first quote unquote "bankable" star to jump (Angle did create bank for the WWE but he wasn't bankable for them when he left). You add to the intrigue by having it as one of the big discussion points on Impact, Fortune wondering if they can get him to join them, EV2.0 preparing to welcome a former alum to the fold. You could even play it with a little of one Vince Russo's favorite terms "Shades of Grey" by having Hulk Hogan worry what would happen to him since he'd be no longer TNA's number one acquisition. Week by week, show by show you build this up, you get people talking, you generate buzz around the world and you do NOT put on Impact before hand or mention what he did after, you make it clear that the only way you're going to see what Chris Jericho is going to do is to order Final Resolution.

What happens from there is academic. It's the same principle that TNA has tried before with Hulk Hogan, a move that WORKED at the beginning. We can never forget that for all the complaints people have about TNA since Hogan came in, the highest rated Impact in the history of the company was the Impact Hulk Hogan made his first appearance in TNA. The problem with Hogan is the same problem you'd have if you got someone like Steve Austin or The Rock; they are huge names, but ultimately only names, it's not going to put over your product. Someone like Jericho will, if you use smart booking, build him up, get him huge through his promos and in ring work and then when the time is right, have one of your homegrown talent beats him. Instant elevation for your star and your brand.

By doing all of this you make Pay Per Views into must see events. And by giving them more time to build you can make epic events. After all: Without time to build there is nothing. With time to build there is the chance to have everything.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

183 Hollyweird(Crap) Radio: September 10, 2010

75 minutes

Blade, Midnight Rose, and a random woman as Katie Vick are going to appear in a 'movie' named Smut. Blade asks for donations as RD wonders how they will blue-screen them in at the same time. He's also made his own drinking game based on Blade's constant interruptions. (Blade meanwhile has some bingo board on his Facebook Wall.)

:17 Blade is still stuck on 80's actresses like Jennifer Jason Leigh. Have I mentioned that he's still pseudo-drunk? RD wants him to try Cinnabon cereals but he doesn't like nuts. 

:25 Some old '80s HBO feature presentation bumper is listened to. It's nice music though. Billy Gunn was caught with a younger woman, or as RD says "caught with his penis in the cookie jar." Even worse, the other woman's nickname is Pinky. There's even video of this. RD plays Sad News music for them as they make marriage arguments funny again.

The Marty Jannetty of the Hart Foundation
Jim "Anvil" Neidhart was arrested for drug possession and for his really strange antics in his retirement, i.e.  sitting around doing nothing other than getting stoned. For some reason Blade remembers when Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch lost a match and Wendi Richter was cut off by Mean Gene for commercials. Jim Ross calls. Goodness, I've missed him. (:42) He wonders if Korchenko is after him, makes more concoctions and is having some random trouble with coupons. His next step to get rich: a BBQ & Lawn Service. He cooks for someone while Hollywood John mows their grass.

:48 'Shane' [Mike "Virgil/Shane/Vincent" Jones wrote in? - Clarence] asks something about Stephanie vs. Dixie Carter over the destruction of ECW, but the letter is invalidated due to grammatical errors. So they talk about the Hulkster in hospital. RD calls him Methuselah. Since this is actual TNA news John Kelly doesn't come until after, and then just for two minutes. (:56) He was probably watching the Vikings and Saints play each other and didn't want to stay any longer than absolutely necessary.

:58 TNA will be on Family Feud, many years after WWE did that same thing. Talk about being late to the party (assuming you were even invited to it in the first place). Jim Cornette wants to settle his differences with Vince Russo in a fight at a roast somewhere. 6'9 Amazonian 'Princess' Alouisa has been cut from NXT for some risque photos. Blade wonders how it would feel being sweat on sitting next to her at a baseball game. Height discrepancies in wrestling, particularly Wendi Richter vs Little Beaver.

Seventeen syllables for a woman who's 17 feet tall
Six Nine Amazon.
Wonder what sex with her's like:
Dry humping oak tree?

RD is speechless.

Minisode #182 Shawn Michaels' Fun Center

by iggy



August 27, 2010

Blade and Don's Old Grocery Store
Time Out Real Quick
Mexican Coke
Piranha 3-D
Shawn Michaels' Fun Center
Trashbaggin' Poser
C.S. Irwin talks about Cookie.
Who's Becky?
Tiffany suspended
Albert Del Rio haiku

#putt putt #socks required

Random Thoughts from the Office: August 27, 2010

You have to hand it to the powers that be at TNA, they sure know how to make good gimmicks. For example, basing a new pair of wrestlers on "characters" from a reality show that's in direct competition to you on Thursday night, thus guaranteeing the only people who'll actually "get" the characters aren't actually watching your show in the first place. BRILLIANT! And these people wonder why they once drew below a 0.5?

Credit where it's due though to TNA and by extension Vince Russo, they always find ways to create compelling characters for everyone, not just the guys involved in the main event. Now if they could just finish their storylines like the Angle goes through the Top 10 contenders list they might just have something.

Not that the WWE don't botch stories of their own, just look at the Nexus angle. How can a angle that was so hot and had people so interested fall apart so quickly? It now seems like a lot of the Nexus is now an after-thought while the WWE has put all of their focus on the two stars of the first season of NXT: Wade Barrett and Daniel(son) Bryan, who isn't with NXT anymore but will no doubt be remembered as THE breakout star when we look back at NXT next year. (I mean no offense to guys like Kaval, Alex Riley, Justin Gabriel and Joe Henning but I don't see them exactly getting out of the midcard any time soon, if at all) The big program that the WWE seems to want to pin their hopes on, the Kane-Undertaker feud, has ZERO heat and the guy who's arguably the most over babyface in the company, Randy Orton, STILL can't work babyface.

Not that I envy the WWE or even really blame them. They have to come up with 6 hours of original programming every week (Even if Superstars doesn't really count) and there's always going to be off weeks, but surely the powers that be can see the inherent problem they have. Hell I could make an argument today that right now the hottest angle in wrestling (Not counting Ring of Honor) right now on TV is Daniel Bryan and The Miz for the US Title, which until about 3 weeks ago I'd forgotten The Miz even HAD still. In TNA it's the same thing, the hot angle is Fortune vs EV2.0 which isn't even for a title at all. It's a big reason why business is failing and less and less people are watching, because the main events aren't compelling so there's no reason to hang around and watch them.

Don't get me wrong. I realize belts are just props, used to get a person over or reward them for their hard work. I also realize you don't NEED a title to be on the line to create a compelling storyline. The past two Wrestlemanias with Shawn Michaels versus The Undertaker have proven that, but wrestling for all of its advancements and all its attempts to move into the future is still pretty much governed by the same mentality that there was in the 50's and all the way through. The main event usually has your World Champion defending his belt against the top contender, the World Champion is the face of your company and you go from there.

Or at least that's the way it SHOULD be. And there we come to the big problem with wrestling at the moment: The World Champion, in BOTH the WWE and TNA is not the face of the company.

As much as Seamus is a compelling character, as much as he's used as a monster and he 'put Triple H on the shelf fella and now I'm the champion', he is NOT the face of the company, John Cena is, it was plainly obvious in the buildup to Summerslam and it was even MORE obvious at Summerslam where he once again "overcame the odds" (And set the Wrestlecrap forums into meltdown). Kane? Kane's a great company guy, one of the best characters the WWE has ever had, but show me one person who thinks he's anything more than a transitional champion and I'll show you a one eyed WWE mark.

It was said once that the shelf life of characters on television was 7 years. It's not uniform, shows like CSI, NCIS, Law and Order and of course The Simpsons proved that, but as a GENERAL rule after seven years they became stale and most people would just turn the channel. Add that with the fact that as time went by you'd have to pay the actors more and more to stay on and after seven years the show became unprofitable.

Now that's with one hour a week, Wrestling, especially the WWE, has more than double that. That's why they created the brand extension, to limit overexposure of their stars. My theory is in wrestling the shelf life character of a main event star is 3 years, maybe 4. If you book them right and compellingly early you can gain a lifetime star through sheer will. The Undertaker proves that point. But after 3-4 years you better have something else planned to take over or fans are going to switch off fast.

That's what killed WCW. the nWo lasted 5 years, or at least was brought back again and again, sometimes under different guises (The Millionare's Club and New Blood angle), sometimes to try and make it seem "Cool" (The Wolfpac) but each and every time to diminishing returns.

WWE, while I don't think will ever be in the same spot as WCW, are in that danger period. John Cena has been on top for 5 years, Randy Orton is at 6, Hunter is at 10. In fact the best thing Triple H could ever have done was gotten injured. You know that song "You don't what you've got till it's gone"? That's Hunter at the moment, people always give him a HUGE reaction when he comes back, as well as instantly forget how much we HATED him during 2003/2004 when he was World champion. The need to create new stars is now and Seamus, Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan proves they're at least aware of it.

The next five years are the biggest test wrestling will ever face. UFC will threaten to wipe it off the map. By putting the tools in place now the WWE and to a lesser extent TNA can make sure their futures are secure but to do it, they must first stop living in the past.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason