040 Banana Tapestry: September 15, 2006

Banana Tapestry
(68 minutes)

Sad thing is, she looks
better here than in real life.
RD wonders why there hasn't been a serial killer gimmick. Although, Stone Cold Steve Austin did base his personality on a serial killer. RD has seen an Oklahoma City Bomber gimmick. (:03) 

Lord Alfred promotional considerations globalinternet.net. (:04) RD and Blade want you to get a URL from them so that you can get laid, particularly as they also have their entire URLs on large sized condoms. Unfortunately for RD he has a small penis.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: (:07) hot dogs packaged with buns. Blade is reminded of monster chili dogs.

Blade's Trip to the Grocery: (:10) Boo Berry's appearance has reverted to a stoner. This is good news for Blade, who had secretly hated the cereal until then.

Mr. Cosby, before Pudding Pops destroyed his soul.
RD tells more Disney World stories. Blade imagines he's with Bill Cosby. RD demonstrates how to eat a banana. (:19)

Mail Bag: (:23) Blade says, "Your bag is always special to me." Something about comic books and superheroes. RD says people on the forums want him to sing.

Nine people sent in messages about their experiences with a Chyna blanket. Marvel Pinguino Dickey "had a friend" buy one for his ex. Chris W made a foolish mistake buying it at Wal-Mart. Zach Harris "knew someone" who bought it to patch their broken down trailer. Terry McCarty has it hanging in his dining room. Timmy K knew a young girl who was a big fan of "the big girl with the belt" and thus bought one for her for $4 Canadian. Jeff "knew someone" who sold it for £1.50. And finally Josh Dunn used it for his unit. (One was disqualified for trying to bring up Bea Arthur's wig. Another vanished into the aether.)

Obscure Wrestling News: (:46) Francine is now attractive again, according to Vince. SPEAKING OF Chyna she made out with a porn star. The ECW Zombie wants booked. Molly Holly and Ivory will drive a Winnebago to Canada for Trish's wedding. Blade calls them tapestry munchers.

Blade hit the bottle when Rambo Greg Gagne was fired from OVW booking. (:53) RD sings a few lines of Dr Feelgood. RD names many Dr Pepper knock-offs. Kelly Kelly is dating Test, who is not a lesbian.

Seventeen Syllable Prescription for Your Andrew Test Martin Question:
Why do chicks dig Test?
Kelly's got the right answer.
He's got foot-long dong.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The Ricky to my Robert, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, Charlie Smith
  • URLs not taken: 0.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 10. Penis references, trying to get into somebody’s pants, ugly, things that are truly ugly, first name basis, lesbians, people who aren’t lesbians, lesbians2 (3), crackwhore on the street
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 3. Tom Brokaw, Cher, Sonny Bono
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.
  • Krankor Laughs: 2
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  • Zombie Growls:

  • Trish Stratus References:  1
  • Mailbag
    • Marvel Pinguino Dickey: You and Mr. Brakestown are quite possibly the funniest two wrestling marks I have EVER heard in my life. And yes, even those old Johnny Polo quips don't top your stuff man. Anyhow, I have a friend who bought that tapestry for his ex-girlfriend. Why? I have no clue. In fact, I sometimes question him about whether she was his girlfriend, or if he was perhaps gay and dating a man dressed in drag much like the aforementioned Chyna. Seriously, are those supposed to be breasts? They more closely look like uncooked chicken thighs if you ask me. Anyhow, I thought you'd like to know. He didn't actually buy the thing.
    • Chris W: I bought the Chyna blanket. I had a crush on Chyna in her WWF days. So one day I was shopping at Walmart, and I say a blanket with Chyna's face on it and I didn't hesitate to throw it in my cart. I can't say it was the best $9.95 I spent. That's a big mistake.
    • Zach Harris: I didn't buy the Chyna blanket but I know someone who did. A friend of mine who lived in a broken down trailer with all of the windows to the bedroom were broken out so he bought the cheapest thing he could to cover up the windows. That of course being a Chyna blanket along with an Undertaker blanket. It may be worth mentioning that my friend never watched wrestling and had no idea who Chyna or the Undertaker are. Let him off.
    • Terry McCarty: Hi. I don't know what is wrong with you. I purchased that wall tapestry when it came out years ago, and now it still proudly hangs in my dining room. I think you're just envious because you don't have one so HA. Krankor: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
    • Timmy K: I just read the section about the Chyna tapestry and I did indeed buy one. The reason for buying it is actually very simple.  A few years back when they were pushing the hell out of Chyna I had a friend whose little sister would sit down and watch wrestling with us. I think she was like five or six. Anyway, her favorite wrestler was Chyna, although she called her "the big girl with the belt". So one day there was a yard sale on my street and I saw the tapestry for 4 bucks Canadian, so I bought it for her, which she used as a blanket by the way. I wish there was a better story to it, but I'm sorry, there isn't. That's a good story. 
    • Jeff: Hi RD, love the site. Gotta say though that I wish it was updated every week. Anyway, the Chyna tapestry: yeah I know a guy who bought one. He sold it shortly afterwards for £1.50. Of weed?
    • Josh Dunn: I bought one. Gotta cover yourself with something when you're whackin' it. Krankor: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Rafiki needs to take a Test. Banana?
    Why do chicks dig Test?
    Kelly's got the right answer.
    He's got foot-long dong.

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