130 A Christmas CaRoss: December 19, 2008

You're a mean one, Mr. Deal.
82 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

Disclaimer: If you're looking for any actual wrestling news in this episode, then I'm afraid you're out of luck. Of course...why are you listening to this show for news in the first place??? [Get your HOT NEWZ right here. --Iggy]

RD and Blade announce that due to the hard financial times we are in, only one of the...'12' listeners could send them a present, of which we'll soon see. (:03) Don Mason once tried having sex with a dwarf. Unfortunately she did not have the name of Sexy. (:05) Blade once again promises a great show, but he's not helped by being drunk off his ass due to the Lions' loss to the Colts. According to Mr. Braxton he's more better when sober, but I have my doubts. Besides he could have two deadly sides, like Harvey Dent. He also has some array of STDs. RD is mystified by things on his own DVD. (:13)

Mention is made of last week of a returned to angry Jim Ross trying to uplift his spirits by making a "Christmas album" (16). We listen to Blade's karaoke - I mean Jim Ross' singing tones - spitting on the mike about Bell's Palsy as RD helps record his golden tones (and tries to stifle his laughter - yes, very professional.)

There is mention of the new induction, the movie adaptation of How The Grinch Stole Christmas. I admit it's a terrible movie, and one of Ron Howard's worst, but I disagree with RD, as I've seen worse. Besides, in my humble opinion the worst Dr. Suess movie is obviously The Cat in the Hat. RD reveals he's drinking a bit too due to the movie. (:21) Sadly Blade did NOT see it with Don Mason. RD's TRIP consists of his ordeal of an odyssey of obtaining the movie to review, interspersed by Blade's meanderings (of course). Another JR 'song' is made, I mean listened to. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Obscure Wrestling News - Maria is dating a WWE cameraman (:32). Sad News - Deuce is splitting from Domino to be known as Sim Snuka and Cherry is retiring to pursue education - a very honorable venture to be sure. (33) Another JR 'song'. mypenisdoesnothavepalsy.com has not yet been taken. Does that mean it would get erect on one side only?

Question of the Week (:38) this week Present of the Week, due to gifts from Crapper Ed Solo (2) (they say his name wrong, what is it about mispronouncing names? Don't get to MY name I beg you!). They turn out to be some very nice Count Chocula shirts.

Trolla's 'gift' for RD hasn't 'arrived' yet, prompting him to call Technical Support...for a package delivery? Don't you need CUSTOMER Support for that? He does this via a free face-to-face Skype call. (:43) The whole thing is just an excuse for the TattooTrolla Guy to make an appearance answering RD's call. It seems the package was sent not to RD, but to Nathaniel. Of course, seeing as how RD and Nate are the same guy it's easy to get confused.

Sure enough, RD 'summons' 'Nate' to explain himself (:49) He calls into 'WrestleClap' (Is that one of Blade's mentioned STDs?)  Coincidentally the package arrives for him just that moment. How 'convenient.' (Also RD hits on his wife - I mean, Nate's 'mother'.) It turns out to be a TrollaTron 7800 'MegaTrolla', the new TNA correspondent. "But wait," you say (assuming you verbally respond to this website), "Isn't that Nate's job? How are we going to explain this discrepancy?" Sure enough, Nate gets exterminated for our amusement, sounding like an extra in one of Don Mason's home movies [And buy your copy of the Archive Disc today! /shill]. (Also the sounds of gunfire sound more like he's getting killed questing for a Captain Crunch drink at the nearby Carl's Jr.)

So he falls, the fifth TNA 'correspondent' to go in just the year alone. For the next year I predict it will change at least four more times, one of those times being Angry JR. Want to hold me on it Iggy? The wager doesn't have to be on hockey of course. [I'll bite. What's at stake? --Iggy] [Hmmm...whoever loses has to be more nice than mean-spirited in their next recap of the show?][Okay, but let's put it on the Pens/Habs game rather than waiting until 2010. --Iggy]

Current Wrestling News - Marissa Tomei plays a naked stripper in The Wrestler (:60) Boy, THAT'S a stretch. A recap of the show and all the wrestling news therein is made, which...yeah. We get another JR 'song'.

Finally we get to the main point of the week and presents are opened. (:65) Blade got back his shirt he left at RD's home, some Boba Fett helmet car thing, a Darth Vader snow globe, some Lions shirt, and some action figures of the Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith and Matilda (in packaging for Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson). RD got a DVD of The Outsiders, a Quentin Tarantino figure who looks like Peyton Manning (in Kill Bill: Vol.3: Kill Bill Belichick), and a Don Mason gift of Killer Looks complete with corn oil.

Haiku to close out the wonderful year of 2008:
Nathaniel is dead.
Blasted by Trolla product.
Greatest gift of all.

Oh, and one more JR 'song' for the road. Happy holidays everyone! Iggy and myself wish you all well till the next year.

1 comment:

Iggy said...

Alas, it was Kevin Costner and friends, not Hall and Nash.