270 Tee Howard Tickle Party: February 28, 2018

72 minutes

Jeff Jarrett is a sudden (and possibly random) inductee in WWE's nostalgia-based marketing gimmick Hall Of Fame. RD hopes they showcase that time in TNA where he did random MMA stuff. This would all be better with a reporting TNA correspondent, exemplified by having the 'current' people of "Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley" now being the longest tenured despite only one (1) appearance. Other people would kill for such efficiency! (Or in real life Gene's case, be banned from Fox News - yes, THAT Fox News - for forgetting he's not thirty years younger.)

The week prior, RD wrote about Tito Santana introducing Vince to this thing called a 'taco', featuring a "Debra" from Gringos. RD is momentarily conflicted on whether to use the word or not. Gringo I mean, not taco. (:06) Lord Alfred was too busy there (not) sampling the food to appear to promotional considerate. That will come later.

Blade took a "TRISH to the Grocery" as Patty was at a comic convention he was visiting during filming for his TV show. (:08)

Blade: "She really dug me."

Due to the intense security around in Blade's words (which RD feels can be distracted with a Stan Lee cameo) he does manage to get from her that like me, she also enjoys frosted flakes for breakfast. (:14) RD: "Where's Lee Marshall when we need him?" He temporarily forgot he was sick, and nowadays tormenting Bobby Heenan in the afterlife of the Ely-Weasel Fields. (That sounded better in my mind admittedly.) The two are hung up on her temporarily forgetting frosted flakes are available in the US as they are in the old continent.

Blade randomly shills his appearance in another Troma movie. In response RD shills his guest appearance in a upcoming series by the name of Fanarchy TV that will be featured/avaiable on Amazon Prime/Video within the next day or so.

Sad News: Bray Wyatt is late on paying some monthly support to his ex/partner. (:22) He's only paid $6000 of the mandated $14735. Lest you think he's paying the rest on electric lanterns or purchasing that House of Horrors of his, sources have told that reporter $5000 was spent on "miniature horses supplies and foods", $500 on jewelry "not for his wife", and close to $300 at "Tootsie's Strip Club". Blade immediately wonders if Dustin Hoffman was involved while RD was amazed at how little he spent at a strip club.

Ric Flair has a "custom suit line" which Blade mishears as a soup line. (:29) Let us hope it lasts better than that time he decided to go into finance. Blade considers putting some of his old suits online.

Paige is back in the 'news' after being out of it for so long. So long in fact that Blade forgot about her Mexican restaurant that had punched a patron before closing. (:32) She got a (not Rick) rude tattoo on her hands, which is slightly better than the Harris brothers sprouting visible and later attempted modifying SS symbols on their arms. Blade has considered tattoo ideas for quite some time. RD suggests Miss Elizabeth, which leads to the two losing themselves in laughter over what it would consist of.

Laughter having temporarily woken him up, Blade feels better to get Sir Alec to do some delayed shilling, though he is gracious enough to inform people of what he does before he does so. (:38) The shilling causes Blade some "technical" difficulties via more laughter, but he manages to get through a few lines.

Brian Keith Johnson thinks Ric Flair (without his custom suit line) should have continued using his Black Scorpion powers throughout his career to win more titles. (:45) Back to being tired, Blade (drunkenly?) thinks he still used them regardless.

Coliseum Video on WWE Network is sadly without its theme music, swinging Ken Patera, or RD ejaculating. (:51) Goldberg, the Dudley Boyz, and Ivory will also be in the HOF, with Bam Bam Bigelow and Kid Rock rumored to join them as of this progrem recording.

In more "Three Counting" RD thinks New Jack, Ahmed Johnson, and Nikita Koloff speaking only in his "Russian" should also be nominated just so they can hear what wild induction speeches they would give. Blade thinks Hollywood should also be nominated due to her own work, as would Scott Steiner if he was accompanied by his Freaks (and potentially asked to do some calculations as part of his speech).

Blade also thinks Demolition should go in. If Vince can forgive Jeff Jarrett (like Bret Hart, Ultimate Warrior, and Randy Savage before him, even if in the name of good business) to enter, he could forgive Bill Eadie too for it. RD apologizes for the wrestling discussion on hand for newer listeners. Blade apologizes in response for making them both lose composure again by thinking about Howard The Duck interviewing Bill Eadie.

*Make your own joke about Ax and Batista tag-teaming here*

Seventeen Syllables Of Fun:
Improved 'Mania.
It's Howard The Duck versus
Demolition Ax.



$31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 5. Troma, Amazon Prime, Fanarchy, Patreon, WrestleCrapRadio.com
• URLs not taken: 2. DustinHoffmanwithathong.com, Swingingfullnelson.com
• SPEAKING OFs: 0.
• Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
• I didn’t even know he was sick:  1. Lee Marshall
  

 

• Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Trish Stratus, Sir Alec
  

• RJ Fletcher, Yes Man:  1
  
• Krankor Laughs:  3
  
• Weird Al Laughs:  1
• WrestleCrap Gongs:  2

 

• Question of the Week from: Brian Keith Johnson
• Why didn’t Ric Flair use more of his Black Scorpion magic in his matches?  He might have won more titles.  Blade: He used it at the 1992 Royal Rumble.

 

• WrestleCrap 3 Count: Who should be in the WWE Hall of Fame that aren’t?
• RD:  New Jack, Ahmed Johnson, Nikita Koloff.
  
• Blade:  Demolition, Hollywood, Scott Steiner
  

 

• Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Coming soon to a PPV near you:
  
  Improved 'Mania.
  It's Howard The Duck versus
  Demolition Ax.

Episode 3: AA Bottom: January 15, 2013

31 minutes

ZZ Top: The Rock's Vince's favorite band

((( recorded in high phone-buzzing fidelity )))

RD has temporarily fixed the sound quality for the time being "like Crystal Pepsi." This is because he's recording the show at home.

It is only the 'third' episode and Blade is already talking about the time Don stole some soda.

The Co-Fruitcakes are surprised they have actually made three episodes in such a short span of time. (:03) Blade bets they can hit 209 episodes in their one year.

RD is thankful his radio progrem is now nothing more than his recorded phone conversations. This is good as this WCR Unplugged has a far cheaper phone bill. "It wasn't free to call Gay Popeye I'm telling you," notes RD. This is despite Popeye almost always calling into the show. Blade notes the expensive phone calls he had to make to Alec...who 'lives' in his neighborhood. He must be using AT&T.

Blade is looking forward to being paid $100 for his paper plate auction. (:07)

The Death of WCW will be re-released for its 10th anniversary next year. But will it be in 3-D High Definition? (:09) RD looks forward to debunking Kevin Nash.

This week's Raw reminds the Co-Fruitcakes of many of the show's numerous themes. (:13) RD talks about Styx's Dennis DeYoung for some reason.

RD enjoyed seeing a reanimated Leslie Nielson playing Ric Flair. (:17)

Blade: "[Kaitlyn's] mouth looked like she told Michael J. Fox just to dress her up for Halloween." (:21)

RD is confused about Blade being concerned about ZZ Top. This brings about discussion on the timeliness of ZZ Top. (:23) Vince McMahon is termed Dusty Wolf for some reason.

Blade thinks Vince likes to watch a showering Shawn Michaels. (:24)
Blade: "I think Vince probably liked to watch ZZ Top take a shower and trim their beards too. That's the only explanation."
RD: "People liked this show for some reason."

RD wants to know how much WWE paid the Rock to put over ZZ Top. (:26) He then asks people for more information about ZZ Top in return for a prize. Don't listen to his siren call. It will only lead to a bad end.

RD does his Tom Brokaw (on CBS) impression. (:30)

Jeff Hardy and Reby Sky have been married for two years now. This is apparently news. (:31)

 

 

 

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)

 

• SPEAKING OFs: 3. Crystal, RD & Blade Show, getting old

 

204 Jim-gle Bells (Palsy): December 16, 2011

115 minutes

Blade is drunk (thankfully) but even he knows the (Christmas?) Co-Fruitcakes haven't done much since Black Friday, when he had a Freudian fascination with penises. He also remembers being punished by eating sub sandwiches. I don't blame him. RD was equally 'punished' by egg rolls for some reason. This I CAN blame him for because I love egg rolls.

You know who else is being punished? Jim Ross (:09) He's outside a Dollar General in Tulsa ringing for 'donations' to his cause; himself. How he does that while still calling into the show I have no idea. Multi-tasking, perhaps. He does tell us that Hollywood John has currently tired of fucking his wife and is also helping out somewhere. You know what Jim should do? Sell his Slammy 'statue'. At least, if he hasn't shoved it up Michael Cole's ass like he is also fascinated about (alongside Dark Journey).

'Stubby' helps promotional considerate. (:19)

RD hardly bothers to update his itinerary. (:20) "Speaking of bah, humbug" (hey, that's MY catchphrase! Get your own.) [Actually it's mine but thank you so much for playing - Clarence] [[The Catchphrase of WCR.com I would imagine. I should get that as a tagline for the page.]] he calls Jim again. Give the man a break, it's been barely 10 minutes! Also Jim shouldn't talk too loud on his 'phone' (how can he afford/use one anyway?), people may hear him and give the game away. Blade can't keep it together.

Blade's one true love Lita's been arrested for speeding. (:25) The duo spend a few minutes spelling her name right, as RD again thinks little of the Listeners. Iron Mark Tyson KOs the episode. (:33)

Ric Flair channels the spirit of Jerry Lawler, as Alec Heineken reads a 'plan' of his to accompany high schoolers to their prom. (:35) If he really wants money that bad he should stand with Jim Ross. Instead of going "ho-ho-ho" he could just say "wooo-wooo-wooo". [Impossible. After all the alimony checks he couldn't afford to pay for the trademark off Zack Ryder - Clarence] License to print money I say. RD does his Ben Kingsley impression.

Who wants to win dinner with Velvet Sky, a woman so highly regarded that not even TNA - TNA - wants her? Poor lady. (:41) Things seem somewhat dodgy when we find that the 'winner' has to 'write' about their dinner for a website. That's like the opposite of what I do here, where my punishment for failing to write a summary in time is to have dinner with Velvet Sky. [Oh whine, whine, whine. Every time I miss a column you make me have dinner with Mae Young - Clarence] [[It builds good discipline and strength of character Trust me, I had plenty of dinners with the Fabulous Moolah to train my own skills.]] RD watches Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett do a terrible job 'promoting' this contest.

Something 'weird' happened to Blade, which he labels a "miracle" (:48) He's suddenly found Ashley Massaro attractive, and instead of calling her by her old nicknames (from them or others), wants to call her "Hot Ashley Mess" instead. I give this about a week. Francine has another child. Or should that be foal? (:51)

Not getting anywhere with his charity work, Jim enters the nearby Dollar General to steal raisins. (:53) Mind you, he does this while still talking on the phone about what exactly he's doing. I don't think that's how it's supposed to be done, is it? Unless people don't actually eat raisins nowadays and the store owner is secretly thankful that Jim is consuming his one year old expired products so that he doesn't have to.

Paul (McGann?) has a Question about snacks. (:57) They actually answer it.

The HTMM's off this week. (:61) Well, it's CHRISTMAS. I don't expect him to be working on a holiday.

You might want the heavy-duty kind.

:63 Blade tells his Reuben Trashbagging story, which apparently involves this 'Reuben' character of his bringing a filled trashbag inside a millionaire's house. He uses Extreme Music music for this like all the others (Dinner For Two's A Whiff Of Perfume).

Sad News: Classics On Demand is being future endeavored for WWE's new horrible-looking network. (:72) Blade wants ESPN to 'air' their radio progrem which necessitates the use of Martin Lawrence of some reason. RD doesn't say "Whatup?" though.

The Slammys suck. (Don't they always?) RD gives Blade 30 seconds to flounder. (:80)

:83 RD and Blade open up presents.

• Reverend BSB Brandon Berthelot gives Berthelot pepper sauces.
• Travie Yak sends $50 to RD to pay for Blade's Swear Jar tally. Noble sacrifice, my good man. (But if you're reading this, you really shouldn't have and now I feel guilty. If you ARE one of those few readers of this site, contact me privately. I'll want to reimburse you for what you paid if you like.) Now Blade just owes that The Price Is Right game for my amusement.
• Adam Kraznov sends a Lions-Saints game to Blade.

Now for something completely different: MY present. You didn't expect that, huh? Definitely a Russo-esque swerve, in my opinion. (:94) I had sent Blade the complete first season of Maude, and RD another bad Burt Reynolds movie, Delgo. Even better, I actually sent an audio recording of myself explaining RD's thing (:96) and, yes, my recent purchase of the Trolla Corporation, while trying to spend as much time on air as physically possible. (If you haven't noticed I'm somewhat of a vain MF heel) If you REALLY get turned on by my voice (and if you do, why?), I've uploaded the thing here. And as I promised, my earlier audio submission that I sent a few months back too. I apologize if I speak a bit too fast for some, so I'd be glad to send/post a writing of what I aimed to say up here. (Assuming I can remember and/or find the necessary things.) This takes up time, but it is a productive use of time. When RD & Blade do it, it's just wasteful.

IT'S NOT FOR BABIES!

• "The NFL" sent Blade a Lions wallet and a can cooler, and RD a signed Dan Orlovsky card. (:102)
• Blade received a very cute gift from RD Junior, a Lego Bossk keychain, and a rather sexual Dutch shirt from RD.
• RD meanwhile has a Troma movie staring Julie Newmar with music by Quincy Jones which is so obscure I have yet to find it on IMDB ("Seduction of a Nerd") [It was fantastically titled "Up Your Teddy Bear" in 1970. --iggy], and a Mexican Santa Claus poster. Includes free Pitch action! (That sounded wrong.)

:108 A bitter Jim Ross blames the duo for his 'situation', and accosts old man RD while doing so. Pretty soon the police are on his tail. I'm sure Sheriff Dickwell and a newly reanimated John Kelly are not far behind.

Seventeen Syllables coming down your chimney:
The year is over.
Our Christmas gift to the Twelve:
Lots more shows next year.

For some reason I don't believe him.

[No comment, just: http://www.mst3kinfo.com/aceg/8/816/krankor.wav - Future PB]



$2.00 (+$4.00 for my message playing. I told you I was vain.)
($50.00 and The Price Is Right for $19.99)



Merry Christmas, one and all!
- Your friend "that Wrestlecrapradio.com guy" Premier Blah

196 A Medley of Musical Madness: May 20, 2011

85 minutes

Is it me, or is RD more attractive in a wig?

Blade is ill this week, but rather than sound like the Penguin like he normally does, this time he sounds almost drunk. He's also forcing himself not to be as crude as he normally is. RD has his WWE Niagara Falls...shirt on, and is reduced to answering questions on his Facebook wall. More shilling of this very site ensues. Blade wants he and RD to wear powdered wigs for their bicentennial 200th episode.

The Co-Fruitcakes finally have their new forum thanks to Sean Carless, the Craphole. (:09) Go look at it now, I'll wait. Hell, Clarence and I are mods over there. If you read this, say hi to us over there. We might give you an e-cookie or something. (I'm still going to be around the old site though, and you should check out the Freakin' Awesome Network if you have some spare time on your hands.)

RD is guessing that their sponsorship deal thingy with Global Internet is somewhat strenuous right now (it's like one of those cyclical graphs with the line going up and down in waves; right now the number is low) so he searches for a new sponsor to take their place. This week on the Sponsor Roulette (:16), we get promotional consideration from Hulk Hogan Vitamins (Blade can't hear the children on it properly), Lord Alfred for Mr. Freeze Freeze-a-bars (though thankfully without any bad puns being made), and Lord Alfred shillingreallyreallyreallyfastforhislifeforsomereasonfor Double Dragon 3.

:21 RD has to explain the Trip to the Grocery. White Castle is now accepting online orders. (What are they, Domino's?) RD has to explain White Castle with reference to Bob Griese. It's a fast food franchise. What more do you want to know? RD posts on the new forum for the first time.

:31 On Primetime Wrestling this week from WWE On Demand the Megapowers explode through a verbal debate with Rockin' Robin. Speaking of exploding the Ultimate Warrior is working on some music project with Steven Adler, formerly of Guns 'n' Roses (:36) Unless he's painting album covers while Adler does all the actual musical work I'm not buying it (literally or figuratively). I mean, Warrior would spend at least half an hour between songs rambling incoherently. This leads to the logical nostalgia of Rockin' Robin singing as well as the Warrior does on an average day.

The Big Nippled Vampire is appearing in a Smashing Pumpkins music video. Wait...the Pumpkins are still making music? And music videos??? It's probably just an excuse for Billy Corgan to hit on her. Hell, perhaps she's in the band now which would give him an excuse to do that. That wouldn't be more surprising than the news we actually get.

The Midnight Rose is to be back on TV, which gives RD an excuse to play Tony's Theme again. I look forward to the day they play Push it to the Limit and make me hallucinate I'm playing a Grand Theft Auto game with the radio progrem as part of the soundtrack. On that same track, the Rose's imaginary girl Maria is on a party tour at Baltimore, which is not to be confused with Baltimora and Tarzan Boy. The two randomly discuss Easter eggs that can be 'found' on their DVDs as a result. Or you could just save your money and look for them on YouTube.

Sad HorseTrolla: (:48) Blade missed seeing Mickie James, Becky Bayliss, and Betsey Russell in Detroit. It's almost becoming a habit of his. RD thinks Betsey doesn't have long for this world so Blade needs to fuck her as quickly as she can before she becomes known to be sick.

:55 You know the recording is taking too long when Blade's phone dies and he has to get a replacement. RD reads a question from Keil Williams (not to be confused with the band Keel) about Ric Flair, secretive Time Lord. (Why do you think he's still in the ring after all these years?)

:62 The Honky Tonk Mailman pays a visit. Hey, remember him? I sure don't. Sadly, in his hiatus between appearances he didn't bother to upgrade his Skype connection because it still keeps cutting out every now and then. According to him, Sting will appear in WWE...in February. You know, if they want more timely news they should get him to ship Express. He also has news about the Dark Journey $5 Priority stamp. It's apparently made in Soviet Russia because the stamp licks you. Jim Ross calls in to see if he can get one. (:68)

:69 The Co-Hosses waste time by going over Maxim's latest Hot 100 List. According to Blade's excited reading of her statement, Kelly Kelly is excited to chart the list at #82....ten spots below former Diva Stacy Keibler. That's so representative of the whole current Diva roster isn't it?

In case you were wondering (and you were probably weren't) about the irreverence of such Lists as these, the top spot at the list is taken by a Victoria's Secret lady who's currently replacing Megan Fox in the upcoming Transformers: Bark at the Moon. (At least, I think that's what the title is. Didn't we already see this in this year's Doctor Who series?) The lone silver lining for that movie: Leonard Nimoy is going to be voicing Sentinel Prime. (His second wife is a direct relative of Michael Bay. Plus as a last resort he could just send in repurposed clips of when he was in the first first movie as Galvatron.)

[Spoiler Alert? Judging from what happens with Prime in this movie maybe they should have just kept him as Galvatron and enticed more confused folks to see it. - Future PB]

Michael Hayes is now a wrestling manager. (:78) RD remembers his terrible theme song he had when he was with the Fabulous Freebirds. Wasn't it usually a rite of passage though those days to have your own awful theme song? It's most definitely nothing new. An 'invasion' is being planned for June 21st. The fact that they're randomly just dropping this news here at the end of the show without much explanation says wonders for what they think of it or what the turnout will become. So, don't hold your breath for anything to happen just yet.

You know what is even worse? Joanie Laurer is in TNA playing as Jeff Jarrett's lover.

Seventeen Syllables to expand on that:
Chyna the mistress.
Sorry, I'd rather bang Ar-
nold's fat ugly one.

Blade: "End the show now."

You have to be kidding me. Just 75 cents? ($18.75)

169 MenstrualCrap Radio: March 12, 2010

75 minutes

As teased at the beginning of the year, a new Monday Night War has developed between RAW and Impact going head to head. But it can't do anything to cure Blade's menstrual fetish. He's also interested in the ages of wrestlers for some reason, like some pseudo Art Donovan. One of those wrestlers is Hungry Hungry Ken Patera.

RD's TRIP (:14) is sponsored by Popeye and Blade's bad jokes.

:20 Stacy Keibler was at Elton John's Post-Oscar party (sponsored by Popeye.) RD is mystified by those gatherings oddly enough. The Iron Sheik was arrested on a flight for being his usual drunk self. Blade wants to be Popeye for some reason.

WORLD CHAMPION IRON SHEIK. FUCK THE HULK HOGAN!!

Tylene Buck is currently doing some sort of webcam thing. Selling point: no pubic hair. The Co-Fs look around Maryse's website randomly and listen to random music on Leila Milani's site. But what about her pubes, are THEY shaved? [I like to think she's had them fashioned into a replica of the Wrestlicious logo - "Showstealer"] Blade makes his only actual joke of the episode when he wants to see Ted DiBiase's Million Dollar Mare/Mane, complete with soundbite.

The HorseTrolla tells us Mickie James has been sidelined from wrestling due to a staph infection from some leg surgery, which is an excuse for Blade to indulge his foot fetish (shouldn't that be a hoof fetish in this case?) The BabyTrolla tells us that Stephanie McMahon is pregnant again.

Screamin' Cheech has one of the wittiest Questions I've heard recently about musical groups. (:51)

Speaking of the Monday Night War of earlier...well, WWE completely dominated TNA this week so Blade has to be that Ratings Reaper guy again. His TNA Peter Gazer guy is still a no show so RD has to do his Dixie Carter to kill time even MORE than they normally do.

:60 Jim Ross may return to WWE in time for Wrestlemania, so the Co-Fs call him up. Now he's angry about people constantly emailing about Joanie Laurer when they SHOULD be instead looking for the elusive Dark Journey.

Seventeen syllables about Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan on TNA:
New Monday Night War.
Same old Nature Boy Ric Flair.
Bloody Mount Rushmore.

161 Under a Full Mooney: November 13, 2009

New RAW Announcer? Sean or Ian?

70 minutes

A new rumor is currently afloat: EventCenter might return to the airwaves. RD wants Sean Mooney to host it again as he watches a random thing about him. Blade of course has no recollection, but it's not due to his drinking. Somehow Craig DeGeorge doing oral is involved so Popeye wants in on the action. RD gives him five seconds as he has more important matters to take care of; he rolls a 6 and enlists F Sin's help in making another video against Damien Demento. If his adversary sings a cartoon theme, then BY GOD RD will sing his own! (:09) Of course Blade thinks he's dissing the man's penis. He wastes another Big Announcement for having an upcoming shot of his own in this skirmish.

RD was stealing from his son's Halloween stash as he took a TRIP to eat some Whoppers. (:12) (The Hershey's chocolates, not Burger King.) Blade hates them for some reason and wants to make his own rival candy - the Big Mac. He confounds RD as he does this, as expected.

Time for some Obscure News, so early in the show too! That can't be good. (:17) Blade takes an opportunity to make another football bet, this time with the Yahoo Fantasy League the duo and I are in. (RD has the Mike Checks Whackers, at the time of writing in the lead, Blade has the Midnight Blades competing with him, and my PB Justice League is desperately trying hard not to be dead last. Ah, such is my lot.) Blade decides to repeat the "I Have Something To Say" bet from the 2006-7 season. This should be actually good, for once.


Anyway, some Sad News: (:21) Lillian Garcia had an altercation in New York. She's doing fine though. Chained wallets are brought up. Catalina "Sailor James" White's name brings Popeye back, for slightly longer this time too to make Blade chuckle. She's doing porn now, as the two have fun with her name. That is something two people named RD Reynolds and Blade Braxton are experts at, apparently.

WWE Announcer Lauren Mayhew is trying to give away copies of her singing. Blade wants he and RD to dress up as Wookies and kiss each other, but only if Popeye can watch.

The BabyTrolla gives birth to Candice Michelle being pregnant, or something. So at least we know what she's up to now that she's gone from wrestling. Hit the porn music! This gives an excuse for another Don Mason story, so RD plays the old Current News music for it. In this case Don bought a Right Said Fred album in the 90s, but that's not the story; he's just getting heavily drunk at a bar while thinking how good ejaculating in a woman is.

The HorseTrolla neighs. (:37) Jim Ross had to come to the defense of Mickie James to protect her from a random fan 'congregating' on the Interwebs. It's as good an excuse as any to call him up. JR doesn't like Dave Meltzer since it's the in-thing right now, and he continues to give RD a case of the giggles. This year he's sure to bring in the customers with his new gravy and his new slogans and giving people blowjobs. But back to the whole subject in the first place, did you remember that at all? Blade gets Sir Alec (and his Four Seasons music) to read the fan's missive. (:50)

Today's Question Answer from Mav makes fun of some random hairstyles. (:55) RD asks for photos.

Johnny Four is so stuck he repeats the previous week's 'news' of Hogan and Bischoff coming to TNA. That's it. (:58) RD wants to do some live remotes for Black Friday, Blade wants to take Stubby with him.

This Week on Current News, (:62) Hogan is still up against Flair Down Under. RD reads down the card, and if you want to see Brutus Beefcake facing Heidenreich then this is the show for you! Also Flair got married again.

Seventeen Syllables of Speech:
New RAW Announcer?
Mooney is back from the dead.
Don't forget Ian.

157 I can't get no Stratusfaction: September 18, 2009

74 minutes

RD is angry at Trish Stratus' new brunette hair color. Of course Blade thinks otherwise. Even Gay Popeye turns temporarily hetero at the thought, which for some reason makes his music longer than normal. (Ah gyuk gyuk gyuk gyuk.) RD tries to persuade them with a haiku.

Trish is now brunette.
What more can I really say?
The thrill is all gone.

Oh, so we can leave early then?

Wait, there's another hour of this left to go.

Fuck.

Still no Celebrity TRIP (:11) so instead Blade has to make do with more on Gymini dolls. Bad news: none have been sold this week. Good news: a plastic sticker has been stuck on the back of the damaged Doll so it can join the rest.

Obscure News: (:17) Blade needs to reach the 5000 friend capacity on Facebook. Ivan Koloff has a strict screening policy on his networking sites. Blade fails all his requirements. RD looks at Blade's student referrals on his Facebook page. New Jack is once again acting like a drunken fool on Myspace so Blade has Sir Alec read his drunk bulletin. (:29) The Zombie is now a father! RD wants him to give parenting tips on the show. The HorseTrolla says Mickie James' implants have burst. Blade needs to sing about it, so he does. (:38) In response the Midnight Rose calls with Tony's Theme; he likes Trish too now. (:40)

Question of the Week (:43) from Brian J. who wants to know why he should watch RAW when football season is upon us. (A good question, for once.) RD saw the Pats vs Bills game and insults the Bills. He doesn't like Tom Brady either so he sings about him. Blade doesn't like it so he sings another song against him. Thankfully he only gets so far, so he tries again with another angle. That also fails.

RD gets Johnny 4 for his line of the week. (:52) "Jim Cornette got fired fired fired stay away from dairy queen queen queen queen queen," he says. RD: "Worst TNA Correspondent ever."

Jim Ross calls in to gloat. He's still on the hunt for Dark Journey, AKA Linda Newton, who seems to have taken a Dark Journey off the face of the earth.

Drugs? Naaah!

Current News: (:60) Hulk Hogan has a wrestling company named Hulkamania touring Australia in November, of which he is in the main event against Flair. Blade saw the only copy of Brooke Hogan's new CD which terrifies him. He tries to link her songs to wrestlers. Jeff Hardy has been arrested for drug dealing, and may be facing jail time for opium, of all things. Blade shows his support for him through a loud burp.

Blade sings for his new love Trish.

146 The FM Menace: May 22, 2009

77 minutes

Mike Check is 30 days away from 'breaking' Johnny Six's record, before he misses doing so and the Co-Hosses are left to find yet another TNA person. Or perhaps resurrect Nathaniel, the greater of two evils. The Sad Music is played for that inevitability, and all the other former deceased people before him, except Stubby who somehow returned. Blade: "Things like that happen sometimes."

Mike himself is on his Death Trip Whirlwind Tour across the mainland, to increase buy rates for a show listened to by 12 people. He's at a convention for the 10th anniversary of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace at some vague place or other. Sadly, he's not there with Blade's friend (Corey Horny) Diamond. Blade wants a Photoshop of Sith Lord Alfred Hayes as a ghost in Return of the Jedi.

Greg is not happy about a globalinternetbrothel.net, taken or not. Blade has fantasies of ventriloquist dummies. Did I mention the May Mayhem Sale? Blade is selling Stubby-signed prints. (:14) SPEAKING OF people spending money, the offer to buy the Katie Vick outfit has increased to $1200. Blade wants it to be higher, else he'd probably have sex in it again. [SELL! SELL! SELL! --Iggy]

Image by The Sam

Let's go to Mike Check at that convention. (:16) Some random playing of the theme song from 'down the hall' is heard as Mike reports in with numerous WWCR The Whacker bumper stickers. While talking he bumps into sound bites of a probe droid, a tauntaun, a swearing Trandoshan, some 'red trashcan', and some roving band of Jawas speaking 'Mexican'. He essentially has no idea where he is or what film he's meant to cover. But he DOES get a Virgil-style hit to the groin from the aptly named Jake Lloyd Jr. Quote he: "YIPPEE!" RD jokes on Mike still non-reporting on TNA news, although these new-fangled Star Wars movies seem like news to report for the fellow Crappers.

Obscure Wrestling News: (:24) While Terri Runnell's house contest/spam has been canceled due to the lack of gullible people, the ripped-off entrants still have to be refunded their entry fee. The real Terri thinks they've already been paid. Sad News: she really wanted to help those people. Even more Sad News: The (outdated) site is still up to steal money, as far as I can tell. (:31)

More news about Ashley Massaro: A site has a list of clients to her service, including Mickey Rourke. Blade makes another reference to his lactating escort roommate. Some random discussion about the Diva Search 'winners' turns into talk about midgets and a possible Midget Search, with Bridget the Midget and Midgets bouncing on couches, which is the only thing RD can remember from watching wrestling from the past four years. Blade insults them all the while. What happened to cripples (and standing up for them)? Randy Orton, Father Time. (:41) RD does not understand him. Jillian Hall is engaged to a Dick. (:42) Gymini dolls. Blade wants to see how well the nearby store sells them every week.

Jillian Hall with 3 caramel apples

Sir Alec makes a return Fan Fiction appearance. (:46) No story again, but he does read us some random Myspace message from New Jack. He's angry at everyone!

Question of the Week. (:52) Listener #4 Goldenbane thinks people were angry Roddy Piper was fighting with Robert Downey Jr. Perhaps he didn't like that Charlie Chaplin biopic of his. Blade still wants to see some anus action.

Mike Check Strikes Back! (:56) He saw someone in Mandalorian armor calling himself Boba Foot, but he hasn't seen many women around yet. We're just in time to have him watch a lightsaber duel too at a dangerously close distance. Don't they have safety regulations at those places? Sure enough he gets 'struck down', Blade doing his dramatic "Noooo!", but it's only a flesh wound and he's alright...for now. He plays Debby Boone's You Light Up My Life. (What with their being 'light' sabers and all.)

Before we can talk more wrestling about Ric Flair and Vince's feud with the NBA (what, on this show?) Jim Ross calls. (:64) He's angry - again - but at this point the sauce has already dried on the rack of ribs and not had that much of an effect anymore. He's angry at working twice as long, or something or other. He also calls Michael Cole a certain term, which RD finds offensive enough to bleep out, despite the fact that they've been saying it over the years without doing anything about it. Perhaps RD's being forgetful. He wants some human/jawa barbecue as seen in A New Hope. He has some video blog Big Announcement next week, meaning has Blade has three things he'll want to tell us but then will promptly forget about.

The HorseTrolla asks about Mickie James' new outfit. (:71) Vickie Guerrero is some sort of dancing Miss Wrestlemania.

Seventeen Inches:
Vickie's got the Sash.
She's Miss Wrestlemania.
She doesn't miss meals.

Video: Mike Check at a Star Wars Convention

(141) High Energy: April 1, 2009

78 minutes
by The Falcon

They said this day would never come, but it finally did: the greatness that is Koko B. Ware has finally entered the Hall of Fame. This greatly excites our Birdmen, as well it should. And if you don't share their optimism with this, then why are you even here???

Sadly the Duo are not able to make it to Houston to attend the ceremony, so they've sent Mike Check in their place to the Toyota Center to report on things. No one's arrived yet, so he entertains us with the time he was once overseas in Yokohama, and was Johnny Hero on The Hero Shima Show.

RD remembers when he once met Koko at...Kokomo. That sure was something. (:15)

RD took a FLIGHT to Big Lots to find a Frankie bird for his niece, but sadly he could only find a figure of Tippi Hedren in The Birds. That was a fun family movie, wasn't it?

John Thomas tries to call in but oddly this time RD doesn't have time for him. (:23) Usually he calls in for at least a half hour or so. I guess it's not the case this time on this special day.

The BirdTrolla has some Obscure Koko News for us no matter the day or occasion. (:24) The Great Koko was on a podcast recently saying that he feels like he's in the Hall already. Blade thinks he should be in every Hall Of Fame, even ones he's not eligible for. Personally I want to see him inducted in Cooperstown.

WWE is trying to buy Mid-South (Koko's old proving grounds) from Ene "Ma" Watts. In response to this Jim Ross gives a call. (:28) He's more angered than usual now that Taz is gone and he's not personally carrying out the induction himself. Poor guy, I admit I feel for the fella. He has however, found tape of a Koko Mid South promo for us all to watch. He then promptly has a nervous breakdown while rambling about his self-carpentry skills.

You know what's good to clear that off our minds? Some Koko Fan Fiction Theatre, that's what. (:36) In honor of this week's special occasion Sir Alec has a heartwarming tale about Frankie looking for love.

The Birdmen check back in on Mike Check, who still hasn't had luck in finding anyone. (:44) He dedicates a song to Frankie right here on KOKO.

Co-Hosss Contest Year 4: Ed Salo gets a trick question. (:47) On the other hand Anthony from Kentucky can't answer a simple question. (:52) They're really scraping the bottom of the birdcage for entrants now! Tally: 0 for infinity.

There's still been no new developments where Mike Check's at. (:56) He does however play Blade's requested Misfits song.

Question of the Week from Rita M Booda (:61): The Great Koko should be World Champion forever. I agree.

RD does not have time for B.M. Punk calling in either. (:63) To make a bad pun here, he succeeds in flushing him out rather quickly.

Mike Check plays Snowbird for our enjoyment. (:64)

Current Koko News certainly manages to invigorate even the laziest Listener. (:67) The Honky Tonk Man wants to beat up Ric Flair at Koko's ceremony. I would donate any amount of bird seed to see that happen. There's confusion over whether (stuffed) Frankie will or will not make an appearance at the place.

Mike Check finally gets to party with Morris Day & The Time. (:72) I hope he doesn't get a heart attack from all the excitement. Otherwise where will we get our up to date bird news?

Seventeen Syllables to Koko:
Hall of Fame Koko.
Please don't rent a tux. Wear the
High Energy pants.

[For those pressed for time, you can find a summary here.]

(141) Koko Radio: April 1, 2009

78 minutes

Mike Check as a Radio Correspondent! John Thomas and BM Punk call in! JR is still angry! BirdTrolla! Koko FanFiction Theater with a horny Frankie! Another Round in Year 4 of the Co-Hosss Contest! (0 for 2) Morris Day and the Time live! All this and the Piledriver song, right here on the most exciting episode of Koko Radio ever!!!

Seventeen Syllables to Koko:
Hall of Fame Koko.
Please don't rent a tux. Wear the
High Energy pants.

[For those wondering fellow Koko Radio fans, you can find a longer explanation of events here.]

135 Record Breaker: February 6, 2009

56 minutes

Heart Shaped "Meat"

We begin with some random discussion about mittens. Blade vows never to reveal his stage surname (while sober anyway). Next he'll do a Vince Russo and vow never to show himself on TV. (:02) Randy Orton admitted to doing a work with Shane "Banner" McMahon, which is confusing on many levels. (:04) RD wants Shane to wear mittens.

This fine radio progrem is "the longest running episodic wrestling podcast in the history of planet Earth". (:08) Blade will auction an autographed BannerTrolla which was also seen in the Shoot Interview. (:11) The new Angry Marks ad feed gives RD an excuse for a bad Jeff Foxworthy impression. Random shows are mentioned.

RD's TRIP to the Grocery: (:20) This show is a 'poor attempt at humor'. RD is still fighting with Fiber One bars. A Mexican restaurant near RD is named Las Lupitas (:25). RD has to quickly move on before Blade's dream summons Chris Hansen (or worse, King Pedophile).

Obscure Wrestling News (:26): Brooke Hogan vs. Reid Flair. Will Ricky Steamboat Jr. riding a pony be the ref?

Robecca DiPietro is making more bad ads (:34), in this case this terrible attempt for the Doritos SuperBowl commercial contest. The Co-Hosses watch it. According to Blade, Jim Ross IS Admiral Ackbar. Buh Gawd King it's a trap! (If you thought THAT was bad then you better not watch this one.)

Question of the Week from Jack-a-Laction (:38): something about TNA. It's just an excuse for Stubby to return and do his usual shtick.

Continuing with TNA and the need for a correspondent, RD calls the man on everyone's mind reading/listening to it: Jim Ross. (:45) The man hasn't had sex in...a while (he keeps inflating the number every time he's on the air, much like WCW with Goldberg) and angry at at the help he hired to replace Steve Williams, who is now playing 'Amelia Earhart' (what, is he vanishing off the face of the earth?). Knowing the fate of all those before him in TNA he angrily refuses. Whatever, I'm crediting him as a TNA guy as part of my prediction. [I thought you had it, but he rejected the offer. —Iggy]

Current Wrestling News (:49) has the Co-Hosses watching the Trailer for 12 Rounds (AKA The Marine 2: Electric Boogaloo) and think of it as ripping Die Hard with a Vengeance (which also involved Renny Harlin I think). Also AC/DC is sadly not playing at Wrestlemania (:54).

The girthiest Haiku you will ever hear:
No AC/DC.
Time for some cheap sunglasses.
Time for ZZ Top.

Sure enough some MIDI tune of Cheap Sunglasses is played. Blade: "This may be the only song worse than Here Comes the Money."

129 Oklahoma Jim and the Last Crusade: December 12, 2008

Snitsky, AKA Boba Foot, Future Endeavored

DetroitLionsCrap.com - I bet that's not taken!
72 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

The antics of the Great Khali and his long tongue down Mickie James' throat forces Blade to drink. Blade has a feeling that this episode will be 'the greatest show of all time'. Also, the Titanic is unsinkable. (:03) The Colts and Lions are playing next week. Another bet is proposed, perhaps of Blade having sex with Nicole Bass. (What is it with these two and Nicole Bass?) It would probably be more bearable if one or both were wearing Katie Vick outfits while doing so.

Lions Center Dominic Raiola has no remorse for flipping off his heckling fans at a home game (:07). Well, what do you expect from a wrestling broadcast but pro football news? Blade wants him to scratch his taint. (scratchingyourtaint.com has not yet been taken.) Discussion follows of the hapless Lions and Raiola wanting to challenge his hecklers to fight him in his front lawn. Could that be a basis for a good video game? Blade mentions his Front Yard Boxing Association Championship Belt. (:11) A real bet is made for the game - the loser has to be drunk for next show. I don't know - at this point I'm more interested in making a bet with Farmer Iggy here on who would emerge victorious when the Canadiens face the Penguins. [How about: if the Penguins lose, Blade has to defend his FYBA title against Paul Bissonnette? —Iggy] Also Blade has two interviews this week on doorstopnation.com and myspace.com/theatomicdropshow

RD's TRIP to the grocery (:16) is made possible in thanks to the Archive (and viewers like you). One of the purchasers, John P., bought RD some Bimbo Bread. Don't laugh - the thing is actually real, albeit a more Mexican food than American one.

Obscure Wrestling News - RD & Blade were invited to a Trish Stratus party up north. (:20). Finger food is mentioned. RD becomes sad that the party is not exclusive to them. Then why would she have sent a Myspace bulletin about it then?

[Also goodness. Remember when not just Myspace was a thing, but it had BULLETINS??? - Future PB]

O.D.B. of TNA is 'sailing' some used undergarments for $50+ 'due to popular demand' (perhaps she was jealous of Layla's oranges). (:25) The mere mention of TNA has a Candyman like effect of 'Nathaniel' trying to ring in. This causes RD to again argue with himself. RD had a cool menthol turkey to go with Blade's alien ham. He should give it to 'Nathaniel'. Barry Darsow's son is signed to a WWE D-League (:31). Blade wonders if he will become Repo Boy. Sad News - Robecca DiPietro removes that ad commentary video from her favorites, (:32) maybe because she actually watched it (or perhaps read this very site). The co-hosts fear she will never appear on the show. Thank the Emperor for that.

Jim Ross calls in (:35). He lost out on his Slammies and his holiday hams aren't going too well and he hasn't been getting along with his wife either. Also he still doesn't like Brother Midnight. The phone rings again - speak of the devil, here he is! It's almost like they had it all planned out beforehand or something. (:40) A hilarious debate between the two ensues, of which we learn that Jim only lives for his BBQ sauce. Midnight's Crusade's help actually make our slobberknocker man into Happy JR. It's a Christmas miracle!...at least until the end of the episode.

Question of the Week (:50) from a 'Jay' wants Verne Gagne to beat up John Cena. Blade wants Rambo Greg Gagne to return as a log-throwing heel. RD wants Dr. D to be his companion, and wonders why they haven't made a best of DVD for him yet.

RD as Nate manages to get to spoil their fun, the Scrooge that he is. (:55) Further disfluency pops up in his speech, and not just because he sounds more and more like RD sounding as a man who loves TNA TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION WRESTLING. This week; Sarah Palin on TNA? Gee, I wonder how that idea came about. 2 minutes this time. RD can't actually 'harm' Nate (seeing as he harms himself too, like that terrible Lindsay Lohan movie).

More Current Wrestling Sad News: Blade comments on the show's highs and lows, reminding me of an earlier similar show. Gene Snitsky AKA Boba Foot has been released. (:59) Could TNA be next for him? Hulk and Flair showed up in the Carolinas somewhere on YouTube and attracted 800 people (:62). At least it was more than an average TNA house showing. (Boy oh boy.) Blade does some bad Outsiders impressions. WWE was overseas in Iraq (:66) where Joey Styles beat up JBL.

Seventeen Syllables to commemorate Joey Styles legitimate threat to Blade's FYBA Championship:
JBL knocked out.
Guess mamajuana does-
-n't help a glass jaw.

As expected a newly Angry Jim calls in to bookend. Am I supposed to be impressed?

128 Dr. D's Black Friday: December 5, 2008

Sleepin' With The Fishes?

The Big Black Friday Recap Show
95 minutes
Written by Premier Blah

This writ is dedicated to Buddy "Dinobot" Beene, who passed away just previously. Rest in peace.

This week's inductee, one Dr. D David Schultz, thinks WC is the City Dump. RD believes that if he stayed with the company he could have been a license to print money/ratings. (:02) Discussion of this mortal enemy of John Stossel follows, Blade saying that any news of him overtook Black Friday. The Detroit Lions were annihilated by the league darlings the Tennessee Titans on Thanksgiving 10-47 making Blade sad. Unfortunately he doesn't go hitting the bottle which would make things infinitely better. (:05) RD calls the game one of the single worst games he has ever seen in his entire life. The two were texting back and forth during that match like some sort of middle-aged tall BFFs. Blade got a Lions 2008 pre-season championship shirt in the mail from some site or other. His 'match' with Nicole Bass is brought up. The season is not looking good for RD's Colts, Blade's Lions or my beloved Packers. Lions0in16.com has not yet been taken. RD's Christmas present is whatisthisthecitydump.com complete with looping sound bite. (isn't that at ytmnd.com somewhere?) (Also, if you want more Dr. D insanity check out the beginning of this YouTube video) The two Masonmania entries (video culminations of Blade's Don Mason stories) are mentioned. Blade shills himself in the new DVD (:13) and is said to be 'disgusting' in the shoot interview by RD.

RD's TRIP to Black Friday (:16) makes RD fearful of his life from the hillbillies around him. RD's jokes fail at Wal-Mart, much like they do normally on the show. He also encountered a Grizzly Adams/Mike Knox type with a knife. He quotes an angry shopper - "I fuckin' hate Christmas!" Blade is thankful he slept in for it.

Obscure Wrestling News: Bri Bella of the Bella Twins is dating Richie Kotzen, formally of Poison. (:34) Thank God Bret is not involved.

It's also Tammy Sytch's 36th birthday. (:36). Her site is visited. A more enticed Blade undertakes a NSFW Image Search involving 'Tammy Sytch eggs'. - I've seen some terrible stuff and even I have to admit that makes me nauseous. Search at your own peril! To get that off we have her Amazon Wish List for her birthday, but the only thing bought as of this writing is this rather strange item.

Leading from that, how about a $10 admission bargain at half the price of Greg Valentine and George Steele starring in a movie together? (:45) We watch the teaser snippet for their movie, Somethin' Fishy, which involves the two co-stars just sitting around talking. Kinda like this show really. RD is surprised by George's talking while Blade wants to hear Greg talk about having sex with non-Chyna transfolks, like he did at that one convention. Sadly neither of the two took a dive in the water, so thus the whole thing is an ordeal. Now, a fishing movie with Dr. D? THAT would be a blockbuster according to RD. There are free showings on this Friday December 5th down in Florida, but there has been little or no news about it. I would guess that, well, something's fishy about all this.

The HorseTrolla lifts the tail, with more news on Mickie James (:54), who wants to act. Also she has split up with John Cena, which is good news for Blade. Sadly I don't think he'll do much with this latest development.

Jim Ross calls (:58), in a rather more serious mood this time. After telling us about how Doctor Steve Williams poisoned a child with a badly cooked turkey, he feels Brother Midnight is trying to fuck with him with a BBQ apron and also providing the thought of BBQing naked. He promises to help ham cooking tips for Christmas, while suffering what seems to be an emotional breakdown. "Go fuck yourself!" he says randomly before he 'hangs up'.

Question of the Week. (:67) Raging Demons (3) talks about TNA and a Cricket Arena. Those two go well together! SPEAKING OF TNA...'Nathaniel' is here. (:70) He sounds more and more like RD with each episode. There's something about turkeys; like this segment for one. Blade is mad as hell and is not gonna take this anymore, but the Star Gazer/Hustler music interrupts as Seaman First Class Peter Gazer randomly calls in to save the day. (:73) He's on the line and out of the closet, and RD & Blade are happy to see him, as are we all. (His entrance to the Navy has been tied up which explains his appearance, which is about as valid as...well...believing that he's gay.) He calls 'Nerdaniel' a Totally Nerd Asshole...so he's indirectly calling out RD too? (As you can see my suspension of disbelief has broken, sending my disbelief all over the street crushing helpless civilians.) He scares off Nate away though and wonders if Blade is bi, promising to teach Nate something should he visit. Now THAT would be a something. He could combat Nate's weak physicality with jazz hands. But his gay attitude brings back the gayness in the holiday spirit, or whatever that whole thing was attempting. It's not like Pete has been on the show a lot or something. ... Wait, was he even on the show before?

Music-less Current Sad News (:80) Bruce Pritchard AKA Brother Love has been released. The Gobbeldy Gooker was sighted at Survivor Series with the Boogeyman. (:83) Robecca DiPietro favored the WCR commentary video of her Batista sex doll commercial. SPEAKING OF Batista, he was involved with Kelly Kelly at one point but split off from her due to her being too 'immature'. You don't say. (:85) (Oh, and here's a picture of the man at a Washington Wizards game) Discussion of his 'mentor' Ric Flair and his sexual conquests follows. Stephanie McMahon should be called Black Monday. Mockery of her and the Slammies follows. Shawn Michaels is broke.

Seventeen Syllables of Knowledge:
Broke-ass HBK.
No cash - guess it's time for Whis-
per to start whoring.

Oh, and I counted Blade saying "you know" at least 30 times. What did YOU get?

123 Ric Flair Spotted With Bear: October 17, 2008

Ric Flair Spotted With Bear
(80 minutes)
Written by Premier Blah

As expected we start the show with Nathaniel attempting to ring in. I admit I understand his persistence; if only his beloved TNA would do the same. RD argues with himself while Blade wishes for Peter Gazer to have an Honorable Discharge from the Navy. (:02) RD tries to defend the show's wrestling veracity a bit, something that I do not really complain about. Whereupon he brings up some strange case of deja vu/old news/time warp of the Honky Tonk Man (again) nearly losing his finger before his appearance on Cyber Sunday. WWE is now charging people to vote on their hotline (:06) Don...Don Mason once called up sex lines just to talk. Don...donmason.com and uncharistmaticenigma.com have not yet been taken. Speaking of Don Mason...more fellow Crappers prefer his segments than RD's TRIP to the Grocery. (:12)

Speaking of RD's TRIP to the Grocery, delayed very slightly by RD and Blade waxing nostalgic about their earlier segments and attempts at actual wrestling news and Blade enjoying frozen dinners alongside his Miller Lite and V8 and discussion about tacos...RD tries Ranch Taco shells (:21). Blade finds it all "interesting", but somehow is slowly getting angered by their intense discussion about Taco Doritos for some reason. You wouldn't like him when he's angry. Although, what's he going to do while drunk? Drive over to your house?

...

...

...

And throw full trashbags at it?


Phew, almost missed it by that much.

Obscure Wrestling News is overflowing with information this week. (As it always seems to be.) Balls Mahoney's money was stolen from his bag (:26) RD can't understand chained wallets. Ah, these kids today...Blade does his Balls Mahoney impression by reading one of his psychotically written statements where he vows to kill the thief who stole his family's sustenance. Apparently he hasn't heard of banks. Still, if I were him at least I would be thankful he didn't lose his money in the bad financial markets as of this writing.

I bet the rematch is only
available through paid DLC.

Ric Flair was spotted with a guy in a bear suit which causes our co-hosts to crack up. (:31) This leads to our Dynamic Duo YouTubing the Theme to BJ and the Bear while wondering of their anal sexual activities (with the following comment from YouTuber tracyterry: "i heard Greg fucked the fuckin monkey up the ass between takes :P". I'm willing to bet that next week will feature the Theme to either TJ Hooker or Man From Atlantis. WrestleCrap Radio, your perfect source of BJ and the Bear news! (You can find video of their escapades here. As for Flair's escapades, we now have a logical reason for that.)

This Week's Interactive Segment: Dawn Marie poses with a Jokeress (or is that Harley Quinn?). (:41) Poor woman. I know she can't help that smile but she'll never live it down.

The WWE 24/7 Music unexpectedly pops up, taking RD by surprise (:43). Blade names the month after himself by the fact that they showed his first appearance on a RAW show, the one with the first mention of Degeneration X. Can YOU find him?

Question of the Week: More like Questioning of the Week, as RD and Blade talk with Jay Watts, the man behind (pun fully intended) bignippledvampire.com Not much to see here, but he does offer the privilege to help him with his site through his email at jaywwatts@gmail.com (:48 - :56)

Oh Emperor, Nathaniel's back for more TNA news. I know that this is all a long, long, long...long joke and all, but it will only be all worth it if we get to the ultimate punchline: Angry JR as TNA correspondent. Think about it, won't you? He takes seven minutes this time. An equally upset Blade wonders (as I do) if Johnny 6 can be rebuilt, preferably better, stronger, faster.

CM Punk will be in the Chicago Thanksgiving Day Parade (:65) Blade wonders if Mickie James would be dressed as a centaur, leading to further talk about Thanksgiving Day Parades. The second strangest segue in WCR (so far) is used here, and with good effect: Trish Stratus, Haiku Plagiariser for Burger King at meathaiku.com (and also at http://rajah.com/base/node/13884) . (:70) Her Haiku for posterity's sake:

Do yoga, eat meat.
Stratusfaction guaranteed.
Do the body good.

The phone rings again (:73) - but it's just Jim Ross. (Skykid has made a youtube video of this phone call.) He too is angry over how their Meat Curtain Diva is hopping on the WCR rip-off bandwagon while regaling the Dynamic Duo about Dark Journey's sexual proclivities with Bill Watts. And it looks like he wrote his own Haiku about it too. Why am I not surprised? (:79)

Trish don't like my meat.
Neither does my fucking wife.
Fuck all them bitches.

And now Jim has to get back to work on his new flavor: Canadian Hickory Barbeque Sauce. Well, if it helps make this listening go down better, I'm all for it!

118 Stay Hungry: September 12, 2008

Honktrolla
(88 minutes)

RD explains the differences between WWE's Honk-A-Meter and the Wrestlecrap Clocktrolla (:02). If you've seen the Honk-A-Meter, you know that the Honk-A-Meter got no crowd reaction, while the Clocktrolla was beloved by all twelve listeners. (By the way, the Honk-A-Meter is a joke that some people don't get.) RD and Blade wonder which WCRadio segment the WWE could possibly sample next (:06), but play ZZ Top should Vince be listening.

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD tries a pasty Lion Bar from the new World Food Aisle (:15). Blade says RD is acting unprofessional (:17). RD says weird Diva Maryse talked like Frenchy Martin (:18). RD "likes the idea of the Chick-fil-A cow" because it wants people to kill and eat other animals in the barnyard (:20).

Domino's Pizza has a new mascot, but it's not a rehash of The Noid, which you might remember from jokes on The Simpsons and Family Guy. It's a talking dildo that scares a family, except a boy who loves it (:25). (Watch Forgotten Sin's video of this commentary.) (B.B.M. has made a gif of the jerking portion. 1.1 MB) Blade brings up "W.C. Funnies" by Lord Soundwave (:30). RD and Blade are working on the new version of the WC Archive DVD-ROM (:34).

Photo by Sean Carless

Obscure Wrestling News: Jerry Reed and Estelle Getty died, so RD suggests having a sad news special edition of WCRadio in the future (:35). ["To update on former ECW champ Justin Credible, who made the news recently after being spotted working at Olive Garden, he is actually currently going to culinary school."] RD and Blade pitch animotronic wrestlers for WWE Pizza Palace, like Andre the Giant with a box of Honey-Comb cereal (:39). Jim Ross is on the line to discuss the Olive Garden (:42). WWE needs to lift this segment. Ashley Massaro will release an album but it will not contain Blade's Tribute (:44). The Big Nippled Vampire is Women's Wrestling Worldwide championship for the fetish league. The domains bignipplevampire.com and bignippledvampire.com are still unclaimed (:51).

Horsetrolla: Someone asked Mickie James about the Arby's photos (:54). Ed Leslie can afford a horse. Blade asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time Don Mason and his grandpa stumbled upon a guy fucking a horse?" (:58) [Yes.]

Question of the Week from Smokin' Vokin': The Rock vs The Scissor vs The Paper "in a never-ending feud" (:61) They already did that with the Gang Wars. Huey the WrestleCrap Ghoul from last Halloween is loved. TNA Peter Gazer blows off RD and Blade (:66). This week's It Came from Youtube: WCW Nitro choose-me rants from a video game (:68). There are also Thunder-branded rants. This week's Someone Bought This! is Hulk Hogan-branded cheeseburgers and chicken sandwiches are in a Wal-Mart freezer near you.

Ric Flair got beat up by his daughter's boyfriend, and she got tasered (:73). Hulk Hogan is paying for Linda and her numerous frivolities. Blade liked the Braden Walker 3 Disc DVD Trailer (:80). Afa was renamed Manu. Blade's original ring name may have been Slice O'Pizza (:83). Jack Swagger has yet to have an online profile.

Seventeen syllables dedicated to Primo Colon:
Dubya E's fresh blood,
Primo Colon -- hard for a
woman to resist.

114 Hot or Not: August 8, 2008

Talking Wrestling with Mom
(74 minutes)

Despite being posted for months on the WrestleCrap Radio myspace, the live appearance listed below was never booked:

August 8, 2008 at 8 P.M.
Burt Reynolds Dinner Theatre
Kissimee, FL

It's gonna be one dandy of a jam-up time. All your favorite Cher and Hall & Oates songs will be performed live onstage by RD & Blade. Just added to the bill!!!!! A poetry reading by John Thomas from Meridian Chase Mastercharge, and a special inspirational spoken word performance from B.M. Punk.

This week's blurb for WrestleCrap update:

Because you demanded it...PAUL CHRISTY IS BACK! This time our favorite wrestling magician-hypnostist-rapist is featured in It Came From YouTube. Thrill as he deep throats a microphone! Plus...New Induction! New Someone Bought This! And a Brand New WrestleCrap Radio...but Blade is missing! Never fear, though - RD and Triple Kelly are on hand to tackle all the news AND give our long lost hobo a musical tribute!

Are your expectations lowered yet? Well, it's still summer, so go outside or something.

As always, WrestleCrap Radio's recommended play speed is 2x.

Blade is passed out so in his place 3Kelly plays Hot or Not (:05). RD implies that the Brooklyn Brawler is gay (:11).

RD's Trip to the Grocery: RD searched for Peanut Butter Toast Crunch (:13). 3Kelly's Weekly Trip to the Goodwill to Search for LPs and VHS: Jumpin' Jack Flash soundtrack (:23) and Trees Talk Too (:30).

Happy 75th, Cap'n Lou!

Obscure Wrestling News: Stacey Keibler is on a publicity tour for her role in the miniseries Samurai Girl. (:32) The Sandman went to Captain Lou Albano's 75th birthday party and got arrested (:34) while his son has begun wrestling as Twisted Sand (:38). I guess if he teamed with Lance Storm's kid, they could call themselves Sandstorm. Torrie Wilson is getting back into wrestling (:43). Glens Falls, New York, is celebrating their resident son Hacksaw Jim Duggan. (:44) A 101 year old woman won tickets to a WWE showing. (:48)

Horsetrolla: Someone spotted a Mickie James Roast Beef sign at SNME (:51). Question of the Week happens (:54). Primetime (3) thinks Santino should be women's champion. The Divas Belt has a vagina on it.

The new TNA correspondent, Pete, is, perhaps, a myth. 3Kelly watches Urkel rather than Impact (:59) -- URKEL . . . . IN 2008. COULD TNA SUCK THAT BAD?!?

TNA has a game for mobile phones. The CableFAX Program Awards are all a work. (:61) Ric Flair has left WWE. (:64)

Long lost hobo "musical" tribute.

(098) WrestleRadd Radio: March 28, 2008

Young RD

WrestleRadd Radio ("Do you put it in the nipple?")
(52 minutes)

It's the eighth anniversary of WrestleCrap.com and Blade is reminded of Billy Joel.

In March 1988, RD and Blade made their first WrestleCrap radio tape. Despite never meeting until a few years ago. Despite living hundreds of miles away. Despite the lack of an internet. Despite RD being 19 and Blade being 13. Despite the phone and/or cassette static being AM radio static.

No wonder 'current' Blade is afraid of a cartoon character on a cereal box and calls him King Pedophile.

[I also like the fact that when Blade is diverted by John Thomas making a house call, he 'matures' back to his normal speaking voice, then when John leaves remembers he's supposed to be 13 and goes back to his 'falsetto'. Really realistic, huh? - PB]

WrestleMania Haiku:
WrestleMania.
No smartass haiku this week.
Thank you, Nature Boy.