178 Mike Check At Folsom Prison: June 25, 2010

80 minutes

Blade has found a new TNA guy, who seems to be some cop or other, in order to return a 'respectable segment on the show...the spot to go to for TNA news'. Thankfully before he can make more astounding predictions (Mrs. Deal! Get the Amazing Criswell on the Seance-Trolla!) the Sheriff calls. (:05) He says what everyone already knows; John Smith IS Mike Check. The Sheriff goes through his many aliases, as RD chuckles at all the fancy names he had given him over the past year. He was some sort of felon with over 30 illegitimate children around (in each market?), and owned a million dollars in back payments to John Thomas and his DBR Dead Beat Recovery Program.

Blade: "Mike Check likes to fuck."

They discuss him.

RD: "What Mike Check segment lasted only fifteen minutes?"

And he must be Catholic too if he doesn't believe in protection. (Ooooh, low blow!) No wonder he liked working on "The Whacker". RD still can't read the Angry Marks ad copy so Lord Alfred shills for Sugar Daddy instead. The Roast is 'expected' to arrive July 4. So wait for it to arrive in August.

OHHH GROBBLEY!
:26 Blade wants to dissuade RD forever from Kinder Surprises so he finds some 80's German commercial with Humpty Dumpty speaking in Jawaese. Comment reading follows.

:32 Lisa Marie Varron/Victoria calls everyone cute, much to Blade's chagrin. Even worse, she was robbed at ComicCon. RD thinks he could steal from her too, distracting her through some name spelling.

Lillian Garcia had one hour meet and greet at her hotel...two weeks prior. Shouldn't this be in Current News where it belongs? There's confusion over whether she owns her Philadelphia hotel like a Monopoly property. She's also ripping off people by charging them to sign their extra stuff. RD wants her to sign his ass.

Sad News: Ivan Koloff is not Facebook friends with Blade anymore. Believe me, that place is a dump, I just add random people on there. Why Blade doesn't ask him why he did that is left unexplained. But he is cheered up by Mickie James randomly saying something to him and the Midnight Rose. She was also at a Celebrity Fishing Tournament with Roland Martin, who once had a lead in show to WCW. Blade thankfully does not take the obvious route and make fish correlations to vaginas.

:51 RD skips the Question to get to the new TNA guy - Blade Braxton as Damien Demento as Solid Snake Caruso Steven Irwin. AKA THIS guy:


(And no, he doesn't normally walk around in Imperium Power Armour. This was the only funny but not cliche looking image I could find on short notice.)

Blade, for his part, cements the role by breaking kayfabe by breaking into laughter just seconds in. Come now. How would Laurence Meatbourne and Gary Sinus and Mark Harmony and William Petergazer think of your professionalism? There's something about TNA Knockouts not being paid very well, so David here has to go investigate it. I guess the dead corpse in this episode/case/mystery/random combination of minutes of audio is the TNA company. RD is speechless the whole time. I guess he wanted to say something...



but he wasn't aloud.




YEEEEAAHHHHHH...



Sorry about that.

The phone rings (:57) Why, it's Mike Check's one phone call from Folsom State Prison! The last time he was there he was at their local market WFOL "The Fol" as Freddy Lamb Chop, and together with Mindy "Jelly" Roll hosted some show called Mint Jelly On The Lamb. It didn't last long. Blade calls him on his crimes, and his bumper stickers (that are still available!) Mike doesn't go the obvious route by playing Johnny Cash, but he does play a related Merle Haggard song. (Mama Tried)

:69  Chris Jericho is hosting a game show on ABC called Downfall that apparently involves dropping people off a very tall building. Unless Hulk Hogan also throws people off I don't see the show lasting a full season. [As someone who saw the show I'm shocked it lasted one episode. I see a Game Show Garbage induction in its future - "Showstealer"] Is Dave Batista going to MMA? (I hope his constant fucking in the business doesn't hamper his skills at the ripe old age of the mid 40's.) Blade finds Ken Patera's McDonald's.

Seventeen Syllables on Maryse's wardrobe malfuction
Maryse malfunction.
I am certain that we all
saw her meat curtain.

RD: "That would be a curtain call you'd like to make."

No comments: