Random Thoughts from the Office: April 1, 2011

Boy it feels like it's been 1977 since I did one of these......You know I wonder....

Wavy Flashback Sequence
Has anyone seen that Ric Flair kid recently? I don't know what Jim Crockett sees in this guy but just cause a guy survived a plane crash doesn't mean he's a great wrestler. I mean come on, are you seriously trying to make me believe that THIS guy and Greg Valentine are a better tag team than the Andersons? Give me a break. If the plane crash didn't finish him off his lame tag team work will, this guy seriously just needs to give it up already...

And another thing. Bruno Sammartino. LOSE THE FUCKING TITLE ALREADY! The first one was bad enough, but another 5 years of this shit? Goddamnit. Why can't the WWWF put over new talent for once in their lives, like Superstar Billy Graham? The guy has everything, charisma, looks, a great body. He could go anywhere he wants and people would fall over themselves to give him their title....everywhere except the WWWF where it seems like we're always going to party like it's 1969. I don't understand why I have to get angry about this and yes I know Bruno's HUGELY over, but there comes a time when you have to create someone new so the fans will pay money for you to beat that guy up. Think Bruno, if you lose the belt to Graham because he cheats you out of it, because that's what Heels do, then the fans will pay MORE money to see you get it back. It's....Not.....Rocket....Science! Good God even Wilt Chamberlain knew when it was time to quit....

Record scratch as sequence ends

Maybe not..

So once again it's Wrestlemania weekend and the buildup has been magnificent....if you're someone who thinks the Jerry Lawler-Michael Cole match should be an hour long exploding steel cage time bomb death match and should main event the show. For everyone else (IE: Everyone Sane) it's been sort of hit and miss. I mean is it me or does this show just not have that "Big Event" feel to it? I mean don't get me wrong, it has the aura of being bigger than the other shows just because it's Wrestlemania but I don't know it doesn't feel all that special and I think that's a failure of the WWE to build things properly; like I meant a bit at the beginning there, when Michael Cole is in your most anticipated match there's a problem.

The WWE did get off to a good start....well for most people when the man that I will only refer to as Flex Fucking Kavana announced he was going to be the host of Wrestlemania and immediately got into a heated slanging match by repeated verbal knockouts of John Cena. Cena responded with some of the best promos he's come up with in ages, even showing us for one night just why so many of us actually liked him at first before he became the Last Son of Krypton.

Now all this would be fine if Rock and Cena were actually going to have a match, but they're not having a match at Wrestlemania not will they probably ever. Dwayne Johnson has far too much to risk EVER getting back in the wrestling ring as an active competitor. And so John Cena is preparing for a title shot against The Miz, a champion who has been booked so woefully it takes all of my being not to start referring to him as Jack Swagger 2.0. But after the last couple of weeks, that might actually be INSULTING to Jack Swagger, who's gotten a modicum of heat back by becoming the trainer of Michael Cole in his showdown with Lawler, another example of how that feud has been booked right.

Then there's the other title match between Edge and Alberto Del Rio. Give Alberto credit, he's trying, my GOD is he trying, to get this feud over. But Edge gave up trying a long time ago....and really, after the way he came out of the whole Dolph Ziggler debacle I can't say I blame him. If this title reign of the Rated R Superstar has taught us anything it's that maybe the WWE was right all along, and Edge is best as a transitional champion. It's now getting so bad that Del Rio-Edge is probably not the match most people want to see, it's Del Rio-Christian, at least Christian is showing some emotion and babyface fire.

Undertaker-HHH. You know sometimes it's just best not to say anything, so I'll say I did my time at Wrestlemania 17 and I have no desire to see this match again and leave it at that.

Which brings us all the way back around to Lawler vs Cole. A match so beautifully booked to bring in both old school and new school fans that it's hard to believe the same writing crew came up with the rest of the card. I mean seriously just stop and think about this for a second. Michael Cole. MICHAEL FUCKING COLE. Who for years and years and years had such things said about him as "He's a little goatee wearing bitch" to "He just never gets any better" to "Why does this guy still have a job?" is the most over heel in the company. And what makes him the perfect heel is just the great old school feel of it; everyone in the audience probably thinks they could take Cole and are just dying for Lawler to shut him up, but Cole misguidedly thinks he can get a fellow heel to train him and he'll have a shot. Meanwhile he attacks Lawler verbally and then runs or hides behind Swagger if Lawler looks like he's going to get too close, just like the managers of the 80's. But now the time is coming when he can't run away and when that day comes everyone will get what they want and Cole will finally be silenced once and for all.

It won't go on last, it probably won't be anywhere near the top of the card at all but the noise or "Heat" if you weeeel from the crowd doesn't lie. Make no mistake. Michael Cole vs Jerry "The King" Lawler IS the main event of Wrestlemania 27.

Clarence "Showstealer" Mason

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