Episode 37: The Goldfish Standard: May 27, 2015

Tammy to do Adult films? Something smells fishy?
57 minutes

Blade is so happy there's a new show this month that he sounds/is drunk.

RD learned from Scott Steiner's workout DVD that for best fitness results you need to do lifts and curls while a woman is straddling you and telling you how much she wants to have sex with you.

RD explains hammer curls with the help of his gym's resident "Donkey Kong Machine".

RD congratulates Blade on not talking about (Blade's) feces for 9 minutes.

Blade is so desperate to land a woman he finds octogenarians attractive. (:12)

RD shills the great Skyline Arcade some more. Damn, now I really have to go and check it out. Blade is confused by plurality. (:14) He is in a horror movie being shown there where he plays a "brothel patron" which is an official job title as any.

:18 The great Kyle Crow sent the Co-Fruitcakes some Larry the Cable Guy "biscuit chips". Surprisingly in spite of the foreboding name they are quite tasty.

RD: "Put that sausage in your mouth would ya?"

Blade has some Exxtra (with two x's) Flaming Hot Cheetos which are quite spicy and require some beer to douse.

Mrs. Deal tries some of the food. RD: "Go ahead and sniff my bag." Blade: "I love his sausage."

'Tammy went to the fair' and won some half-dead goldfish. This is noteworthy news, apparently. Still it's more valuable than the Divas belt though. (:30) RD fondly remembers the fairs of his youth that violated SPCA regulations. Blade had a very creepy ice cream man back in the days of his youth.

Also Sunny has been rumored to have been offered a sex tape deal worth six figures, which according to RD would would provide a lifetime supply of goldfish for her. Can't argue there. Her (new) boyfriend is approving of her doing this. Because of course he is.

:44 The Ratings Reaper had finally prevailed against his nemesis TNA, cancelling it once and for all. He is so exhausted by his long fight that he sounds like Jim Ross on helium.

Sad News (though not for TNA): Blade has another headset that will replace his tin can and string. (:51) RD is glad this month's show is over but nevertheless has a tribute for Blade. It sounds awfully familiar.
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The RD & Blade Show Sponsors: 6. Planet Fitness, Skyline Drive In, Skycade, Larry The Cable Guy, Farmer’s Fair, Quacky the Clown
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Not getting any younger

  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 2. Mrs. Deal, Ratings Reaper
  • Blade Time Outs: 4 (1 Real Quick)
  • RD Time Outs: 1 (1 Hold on a Second)
  • Blade Burps: 2 (1 Huuuge One)
  • Erik Majorwitz’s Hindsight Haiku: Time to chronicle the demise of a wrestling company:
    A Death of TNA book?
    OK, who wound write the foreword?
    The Ratings Reaper!

No comments: