268 The Last Podcast: December 24, 2017

Get some 'Meat Ornaments' for
your 'Bald Cypress' this Xmas!
111 minutes

Huey has some of the Christmas spirit in him too.

Blade will try anything alcoholic, including eggnog. He doesn't like the term 'alcoholic drinks' for some reason. RD likes the concept of eggnog but not actually having it. He may reconsider it now. Blade enables him.

RD wants Blade to entertain the people while drunk on his best behavior rather than just pausing or editing recording to do so. He flails wildly. (:06)

Blade's Big Announcement: He has no Big Announcement to make. You'd have a better chance with making your appointment with Godot. (:07)

RD found some Evan Williams eggnog in the meantime. Both just want to see the year end and fast.

RD: "You know what else the show is built on?"
Blade: "The bones of an Englishman?"

The duo remember Santa Claus Conquers The Martians and how the Earth "progrems" confuse the Mars children. (:13) RD shills his Patreon some more. Help out the site and get a new progrem at least once a month!...You know, like they used to do before. RD looks at this fine young egg site some more to check on episode recordings. They have only done four (4) this year.

RD has pity on me for some reason. Big mistake. I'm also not sure where he is getting the idea that we are 'supporting' him out. What is this mythical support that you speak of here? (:19) He asks those supporting the campaign to also support here as well for some reason. Blade wants to produce more regular content than an old X-Men comic. That's somewhat too high a mark. Why not the Fantastic Four?

RD can't chug his four ounces of eggnog much to Blade's amusement. (:21) "If I was drunk I couldn't tell you the story I'm about to tell you," he says. Blade rambles in response.

RD wears a big and long Santa hat on Black Friday. This doesn't summon Popeye for some reason. (:26) At Target three female elfish carolers looked annoyed at him and were generally upset at people cutting in line while they were buying Lifesavers.

Blade wants RD to get a Baron Von Raschke claw sculpture for his brother. (:34) RD marvels at its multi-use. Blade thinks he could use it for when he goes to the bathroom, although he prefers Lance Von Erich's steel iron claw.

Blade has Mr. Fitness 2 shirts for sale. (:44) The "Santa Rose" tried to give soap to some nice children the other day. Surprisingly they didn't want anything to do with it.

A rather subdued Jim calls out of the blue. (:46) He hasn't been on recently due to disputing on his 'royalty checks' and...well...the real life wife sadly passing on during the year. Needless to say making any jokes about her and Johnny Age messing around on a moist skateboard would be beyond Blade's levels of tastelesness, even if they had more than one episode in the past five years or so with Jim's involvement.

Jim: "I know who I am damnit, stop interruptin' me."

Anyway, this Jim is currently making "handmade Christmas ornaments" made from carving expired steaks. RD mercilessly needles him on this. "Go fluff yourself!" Jim farewells.

Speaking of Patreon Tammy has already left it. (:53) Apparently she fell victim to a common practice on there: admittedly ruthless vandal freeloaders sign on to someone's page, get as much stuff as they can download, then quickly cancel their subscription before they get billed on the 1st of the month. Some smart folks have ways to combat this like only providing content after confirmed support through another site or hosting platform or behind a password (...from what I have heard). Unfortunately Tammy was not one of those smart folks. This can also be evidenced by her random Twitter thing (in between automated updates for her other/older site with her content) in which she mentions such a thing...only to have 9 out of 10 comments mocking her for this.

In any case, RIP Tammy Sytch's Patreon attempt, October 2017 - December 2017.

"12th Listener" Nikolai T. Nelson has a Question about Christmas Creatures Cereal. RD is temporarily stopped by laughter by Blade thinking it would taste like "burnt pee pee". (:57)

Mike Check calls in live remoting from a Christmas tree lot while trying to sell trees. (:59) This reminds him of something his great grandfather Jack would do. He puts up some Red Simpson as he makes a rather quick exit after only seven minutes.

January is a wasteland for holidays after the mayday of December, so RD has to entertain himself with the month's Royal Rumble. (:67) This leads the two to discuss female wrestlers for some reason.

RD can't say much on Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, but he shares my same opinion on that we are both ambivalent on it. Shockingly Blade agrees with the both of us. (:75) Even more shockingly, he watched it sober.

Not getting drawn in by some of the video game like sequences in there, he feels the universe's legacy is not being passed down as it should to newer hands. This includes his random analogy of a "20 year old girl named Sue" going to Black Friday. This also includes his Star Wars Opinion Sean Connery impression according to RD. I don't know. It sounds more like Sean Connery as Yoda to me. (It also reminds me of when he passed on playing Gandalf to appear in The League Of Extraordinary Gentleman, an experience so much better it made him retire.)

Yet another analogy to Disney being the Dark Side made RD laugh out loud.

RD was fine with the story having a cliffhanger, until it kept continuing on past that. The duo agree that poor Luke Skywalker should have been handled better though. Blade just takes the easy option of using his personal canon which leaves out the stuff he doesn't like. As anyone should. It's not like these stories actually happened (a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away).

In any event though, at least it fared MUCH better than the hilariously awful Justice League. "You can't save the world alone?" Bah! Mark Hamill's already done it. Repeatedly too. In my personal canon he probably called WB/DC to playfully gloat at them as the Joker. An ACTUAL Joker, mind you, accept no substitutions.

SPEAKING OF saving the world (*ahem*)
Important to note:
1. This game and series has had far more of a cultural impact than JL could ever hope to achieve.
2. This came out in 1994.

  • Jordan Mishkin sent RD a WCW Glacier Car. He missed his card which Blade reads on their behalf before RD does.
  • RD got some Herr's pumpkin pie and baked potato chips. Blade got some turkey flavored and buffalo flavored ones. Blade likes the taste. RD feels woozy.
  • RD got a (Stewart Patrick as) Jean-Luc Picard action figure. Blade got Meng.
  • Both got some WCW trading cards. RD tried texting and failing to send Blade a picture of (regular) JR. RD's mythic rare card is El Gigante. Blade's is Michael Wallstreet.
  • Both got some 1991 Fleer football cards.
  • I had sent them another ZZ Top album, Recycler this time. Now I have to figure out what other albums to send them both now. That is a challenge in and of itself to be sure.
  • RD only sent his Co-Christmas-Fruitcake one gift of a Blockbuster Video shirt from the 90s.
  • Blade sent RD his Survivor Series shirt back. I better hope he washed it first before sending.

A Seventeen Syllable Gift/Seventeen Syllables Of Joy:
It's The Last Jedi.
Not the best Star Wars movie.
More like Last Meh-di.

RD: "How many years have we been doing this show?"
Blade: "Too long."

$0.50 : $31.00 plus that $19.99 The Price Is Right 
Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • Black Friday
  • Christmas
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 3. Patreon, WrestleCrapRadio.com, MWEProWrestling.com
  • URLs not taken: 1. Burntpeepee.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 3. Disasters, not enjoyable at all, singeing hair
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Phone Calls & Run Ins: 6. Premier Blah, Jim, Mike Check, C-3PO, R2-D2, Mike Check (2)
  • F-Bombs: 1. Jim
  • Blade Time Outs: 1
  • Blade Burps: 1
  • Robot Reindeer Laughs: 5
  • Huey The Ghoul Laughs: 1

  • Question of the Week from: Nikolai T. Nelson
    • We all know of Kane’s former gimmick the Kristmas Kreature and we also love the Monster cereals at Halloween, so how would Kristmas Kreature cereal look and taste?  Burnt.
  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku: Jar Jar Blade doesn’t like the latest Disney episode:
    It's The Last Jedi.
    Not the best Star Wars movie.
    More like Last Meh-di.

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