The 2017 Gooker Nominations: We've Just Gone Plaid!

Raging_Demons here once again boys and girls, [Taking a break from your Pit I see. - PB] and you all know what time it is?

Yes it's time for The Gooker, The award given to the worst character/gimmick/feud on the year by pro wrestling that's decided by you, the people.

This year we got a whole bunch of crap.

And your nominees are:

*phone rings*

AW come on now!

*picks up phone*

RD Reynolds: Hey fellow Crappers it's RD REYNOLDS here once again! I'm calling to let the world know that we are going to let "The House Of Horrors" match which was already inducted earlier this year be part of The Gooker nominations but in a whole different way. We're having the whole feud being nominated.

That's great Deal. By the way when are you going to take Mike Check

*phone click*

OK then. Back to the nominees!

This year they are...

1. The Bray Wyatt/Randy Orton Feud:
SPEAKING OF MILD AWKWARDNESS! We have your typical "I don't like you, hey I don't like you either" feud but things got really out of hand here. Bray Wyatt's, let's say it rhymes with find-duckery, really goes off the charts here with maggots on the ring apron. If that wasn't enough you can include arson on this list and of course the infamous "House OF Horrors Match" that this feud created. Dear God The Humanity.

Bray Wyatt did not have a good year because in 2017 he didn't have one Gooker worthy nomination. He had TWO!

2. The Bray Wyatt/Finn Balor Feud:
Bray Wyatt versus the former leader of "The Bullet Club" was sure to be a great feud right? It was...until this happened.

Yes, Bray Wyatt hinted that Sister Abigail, his motivation and personal deity, was alive and that he was going to show "her" to Finn Balor. While Finn Balor "showed" Bray Wyatt his "demon", which personally to me it looked like a white guy in dreads trying to look hip at a Halloween Party, Bray Wyatt...well, let me show you.

Yup. That. Sister Abigail is basically Bray Wyatt in drag.

It was so bad that most fans want to retcon this and replace it with TNA's Rosemary as actually being Sister Abigail. Thankfully Bray Wyatt got sick around the time that the resulting planned match was both of them dressed up. Yeah, just let that seep through as we nearly dodged a bullet there. Bullet, hah!

3. Jinder Mahal's Push From Hell:
A "Push From Hell" can be defined as when a promotion gives a wrestler major hype, and possibly major career hype, to make the wrestler look awesome ,but they keep continuing the push to the point of ad nauseam.

Enter this guy.

That's Jinder Mahal. For those of you that don't know him his career highlights included being The Great Khali's manger/interpreter who had a pathetic feud with the guy, and along with Heath Slater and current NXT wrestler Drew McIntyre formed the Air Band "3MB". He was released but he returned in a roided out wrestler.

Granted WWE does not follow their Wellness Policy at times, only if the have to (*cough* Roman Reigns *cough*), but not only was the guy brought back, he became Smackdown's WWE World Champion! All of this was for business as India is slowly becoming a great source of business for Pro Wrestling. Heck TNA tried to do business there. Jinder's title reign was something that no one could believe nor stand. And most of the matches he was in as champion was downright horrible. There hasn't been a champion this bad since Kevin Nash!

[That's a bit Kevin Nash. Even in the dying days of the NWO and with both of his knees shot he would still be a more believable champion. Hell, even if he wore a bad McMahon outfit he would have been more believable! - PB]

4. LaVar Ball on RAW:
You may be asking yourself who the hell is this guy? The guy is basically a nobody, but he did father three talented sons. Lakers rookie-star Lonzo Ball, former UCLA College Basketball Star LiAngelo Ball (who Daddy LaVar had yanked out of university where his son had a basketball scholarship so he could become pro) and LaMelo Ball.

LaVar Ball got famous pretty quick claiming to be BETTER than NBA legend Michael Jordan and confronted...*sigh* President Donald Trump over on Social Media. When he did so and was thus covered by the National News, WWE thought it would be a brilliant idea to have him and his sons on RAW.

And by brilliant I mean a complete cluster of an idea. As soon as he was on RAW, LaVar and his kids took over in ways that made WWE regret having him on. [Although the Miz was admittedly game about the whole thing afterwards. - PB]

(Note: There's video out there where LaMelo on RAW...dropped the N-Bomb on TV. Oh GOOD!)

5. Dolph Ziggler's Wrestlers Impersonations:
Poor Ziggles. Already a Gooker winner/participant in 2015 for "The Rusev-Ziggles-Lana-Summer Love Love Triangle of Eternal Torment", now he's trying to tie Hornswoggle, the current and only wrestler who has twice 'won' The Gooker.

For some unknown reason Ziggles did entrances of famous WWE wrestlers like Shawn Michals and The Ultimate Warrior. Then all of a sudden, like he's currently doing right now, he vanished. No rhyme nor reason why he did those entrances in the first place and it really amounted to a whole lot of nothing.

6. Kurt Angle. YOU ARE THE FATHER! And It's Jason Jordan?:
Jason Jordan made the move from Smackdown to RAW because WWE believed he's pushable so he deserves it. Unfortunately Jordan's tenure was a long dragged out secret to reveal that Kurt Angle was his daddy. For longtime WWE fans this kind of made sense because of (the already inducted) Kurt's "love for the black booty". Since most fans of WWE are of a newer generation who BARELY remembered Kurt's last WWE run though, they hated the idea that Jordan was his son.

Not only it was that bad but it also created weird pauses in the storyline showing Angle being heavily biased towards Jordan because of his parentage, that literally takes the entire show nowhere.

7. Emma Becomes Emmalina:
Emma debuted on WWE as a quirky sidekick to Santino Marella and it worked out great for her. Then she was caught in controversy with her firing-then-rehiring for charges of shoplifting. Then she was reassigned to NXT and suffered an injury.

Here's where things got interesting. During her recovery time she was on social media, particularly Instagram, to post hot sexy pictures of herself. It worked. Emma got herself over like a 20 year old girl who posts pictures of herself to get attention. When she was ready to go back WWE decided to give her a new gimmick as "Emmalina". That didn't work. Emmalina Youtube videos by WWE were considered the most disliked videos they had, and to make things worse Emma said she was ditching the "Emmalina" gimmick.

One match with Asuka later and Emma was "future endeavored" from WWE.

8. The Jeremy Borash/Josh Matthews Feud:
TNA only has one nomination this year. I wished either Anthem's legal games with Matt Hardy over the "Broken" gimmick or Jeff Jarrett's 2017's return would qualify but instead we (unfortunately) got this.

Jeremy Borash is well respected among fans and wrestlers over the years so what happens to him? He gets into a feud with "Mr. Audio Diarrahea" Josh Matthews. TNA does get accused from time to time of stealing from WWE but to steal The Gooker Winning "Heel Michael Cole" gimmick?!? To make matters worse they had a match where Scott Steiner returned. Yes the Scott Steiner who was last seen getting into a court case by TNA (which was dismissed with prejudice), returning to have one of the crappiest matches TNA has seen, and from me saying that it's not just a statement, it's just fact.

9. Ancient Mickie James:
Mickie James is basically the Rodney Dangerfield of Womens' Wrestling, in that she never gets any respect. Aside from going "Fatal Attraction" on Trish Stratus she never got any good storylines. There's "Piggie James". She went to TNA and ended up 'Thrown From The Train". Now this, with the help of that bitch Alexis Bliss. (that's not an insult by the way, it's more of a compliment, as you will see next entry.)

Alexis Bliss called Mickie James "old". That's it. And since then WWE's Creative ran with it the whole concept of Mickie James being older than time. YET the reason she's back in WWE is to put over the younger generation! YEESH!

10. The Alexa Bliss/Bayley Burial--I Mean Feud:
This one is going to be hard for me to write about so lets break this down.

Alexa Bliss has zero wrestling training at all before she was employed WWE thus making her an "Un-Diva" (A woman wrestling talent in WWE who wasn't hired due to job experience or skill, but hired for her looks. In WWE's case they changed their strategy to hire for looks AND athletic skill.) She was critiqued at the time as not having any skills at all, there were rumors around her that she slept to the top, and personally her wrestling skills were quite questionable. Yet in interviews she "always wants to be the heel" and she thinks of herself gimmick wise as Harley Quinn's shirt from "Suicide Squad" (Daddy's Little Monster). This explains why my calling her a bitch is a compliment, she's one of those women that loves to be called one.

Bayley on the other hand is a complete opposite. She wrestled for years in the Indy Circuit which included wrestling in NWA and SHIMMER, and most fans agree that she is a great wrestler. Thus her currently serving as WWE's version of Barney The Dinosaur.

You see the difference so far? It's not the first time these two feuded since both were on NXT. Then they went to RAW and had a typical feud at first.

So what happened that changed things? This:

That's right, a "This Is Your Life" segment. It had been previously stated that most of them are god awful except with The Rock, but this was the worst version ever. It was so bad even Booker T admitted it was painful to watch.

During this feud it was Bayley on the rough side of things, until things got way worse! You want to have a Kendo Stick match between Bayley and Bliss? SURE WHY NOT! When I heard that this match was going to happen I thought this was completely stupid. It was like putting Elmo into Mortal Kombat.

So what happened? Bad booking? A burial of Bayley by Bliss? Blame Canada? There's only one way to find out.

VOTE TODAY FOR THE GOOKER! You have one week up to January the 12th to vote who stunk up real bad to win The Gooker!

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