The Audio Mailbag: January 30, 2020

62 minutes

Blade is currently in the UK being drunk while in a gutter filming yet another horror movie, so RD has to once again do things all by himself (any more) in order to fulfill his monthly obligations. This gives him the opportunity to reminisce the early days of the site where he used to reply to people's questions (and before he recreated it on the radio progrem just so he could make fun of the questioners). From that it led him to ECW Press and his eventual books and his friendship with Bryan Alvarez, and his friendship with Blade winning him over as the Black Scorpion by the power of FedEx.

But first, RD FINALLY has an opportunity to talk about wrestling! Blade is not around to interrupt five times in a row with bad jokes or whatever. (:09)

  • He thought the recent Royal Rumble was alright, even if was a bit too long. 
  • He did have the time at least to write about Kurt Angle's final match with Baron Corbin, of all people. The Human Jigglypuff had a horrible match with Roman Reigns. 
  • The Women RR featuring Molly Holly was alright, but he misses seeing more and older people.
  • The other matches also went well more or less. RD finds Kairi Sane cute, as do we all, and thinks she can do much better escaping WWE.
  • The Men RR with MVP and Brock Lesnar throwing out people constantly was as he expected. He understands why he was eliminated, but not if Drew McIntyre is up to the challenge to face him.
  • He wishes Edge (ED GE/Redger) would return with Vickie Guerrero.
  • AEW is still a blast, both old and new folks alike. MJF, Darby Allen, and Sammy Guevara are particular standouts to him.
  • Even NXT is having some fun.
  • Overall, some of his enjoyment of the genre has returned.

That out of the way, RD dives into his Facebook thread of questions.

  • One fellow, Paul LaParka (not Paul O’Parka), sent him an audio question asking who would play the Co-Fruitcakes in their movie. (:24) Obviously Blade will be played by Al Pacino as Tommy Michigan of course. RD wants the most boring actor he can find, but instead decides David Schultz as himself would do much better.
  • Ron Motta asked about his earliest wrestling memory. He ties it into his love of video games; someone he asked to come over was watching wrestling instead, so he first watched the British Bulldogs which hooked him before Bobby Heenan further sealed the deal.
  • Andy Denyer wants Bryan to appear on the show
  • Jason Lindsey remembers the Big Nippled Vampire.
  • Matthew Fox asks about She-Ra.
  • Kurt George Lewis thinks the King of the Ring should be a defended title. RD disagrees. Richard Gottfried wonders what happened to Mabel's belt.
  • Ryan Goodman loved the old Mailbag. He didn't phrase it in the form of a question. (:30)
  • John Rambo thinks Blade is starting WrestleCrap UK.
  • Joe Vernola asked him about Burt Reynolds. RD still calls him Uncle Burt and is still sad after his passing for some strange reason. RD took him from a flea market poster rather than go through with the original name of Jack Diamond.
  • Someone pretending to be Iron Mark Tyson asks about Lana's fluctuating accent. And are Bryan and Dave secretly with AEW? (:33)
  • Sean Bateman asks about Becky Lynch's pre-WWE matches. RD remembered when she was initially a leprechaun. 
  • Brian Weckerly wonders which bad gimmick he would super push. RD thought Waylon Mercy could have gone further had it not been for physical issues.
  • Danny Rhoads has a tough question: which written about thing would he remove? (:36) His ultimate goal is to make people laugh, no matter the subject matter. But the one and only thing he would remove would be Blade suffering through Joanie Laurer's (first) adult adventure.
  • David Stidham misses Bobby Lashley's sisters in his latest bad angle. (:41) RD agrees.
  • Neil Purcell thinks Joey Janela's theme sounds like a Journey song. RD stresses the importance of good music in wrestling.
  • One of my fellow Co-Historians asks about noticing a show's sobriety. (:43) RD: "Yes." His throat is also hurting from all his monologues.
  • Ryan Goodman (again) asks a random Guevara question. Keith Lagasse follows up with another random Guevara question (on another thread).
  • Patrick McCabe is still unsure who was the Higher Power.
  • Peter Melnick asks if he was in a submarine. Yes he was. Two feet underwater anyway. He was in a helicopter once due to his mother entering him into a competition.
  • Ben Warrick remembers The Wrestling Album. RD prefers Piledriver.
  • RD cannot explain a photo on the air.
  • Jamie MacKay has a Terry Funk song to listen to. (:48) Mike Check RD uses the opportunity to take an intermission by playing it in full.
  • DJ Derrick Guynn has some games to rank. (:53) His #1 is WWF Superstars due to its play. Mania Challenge is #2, WWF Wrestlefest is #3. From Luke Lay's followup, ProWrestling is another #1.
  • Forest George wonders if Paul Teutel Sr. vs. Hogan would be a draw.
  • Ralph Archuleta has a question about Jaime Hayter.
  • Ryan Swartz has a badly worded question about a current wrestler using an older gimmick. (:56) RD thinks such a thing would be hard to do.
  • Denny Taylor (in kayfabe) wants to know how real Giant Gonzalez's airbrushed muscles were.
  • Dave Hines warns RD about spelling Barry Manilow's name wrong. (Actually he spelled it right. Does hie also write his songs too?)
  • John Hudson thinks Tam, when (if?) released, could do a prisoner gimmick. (:57)
  • Luke Lay (again) asks him about his favorite Royal Rumble moment. Ric Flair in '92, no question.
  • Wes Lee has RD wanting to play air hockey with Sammy Guevara and his salmon pants.
  • Dylan Fionda asks about trains.
  • Arya Witner forgot that Kerry Von Erich was the second Ultimate Warrior.
  • Brian Beissel is scared about contagion. Although "Coronavirus" is a good name for a finisher.
  • Danny Rhoads (again) wonders who would win between Well Dunn and American Males. RD picks the latter.
  • Simon James Lindsay asks about Kane's titles. (:60) RD thinks he had as enough as he should have had.
  • And finally, Iron Mark Tyson (again) asks about Blade's Big Announcement. What a mark.

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