It's How You Play the Game
December 1, 1966
"With his special truck finished, Shame goes to work on his final caper -
the theft of four prize cattle worth over one million dollars. Batman
and Robin deduce his plan, but realize they are too late to stop him and
too slow to catch him. With little left to go on, the Dynamic Duo
employ their "bat-logic" to try to figure out his next move."
69 minutes
Come Back RD. Come Back!
Vince finds consecutive recordings tough. RD managed to change his shirt.
We are now halfway through the series' run.
The Bros are still confused by why the Narrator is only taking 15 seconds at a time of late.
Somehow the rumble of the stampede's "zooms" has loosened Batman's restraints, allowing him to at least sit up. He then uses his cape like a matador to divert the stampede. "Toro! Toro!"
Robin: "Olé, Batman, olé! Bravo! Bravo! More! More!"
He then wonders how a non-red cape would work. Batman says bulls are actually color blind.
Robin: "Holy toreador!"
Batman: "The word is 'matador', Robin. 'Toreador' is a word of convenience used by Bizet in his classic opera 'Carmen'."
Robin: "Oh. Holy matador, then!"
Batman: "Very apt."
Andy then walks up thinking it was all just a game. Batman holds up one of the stakes: "It was a game...and the stakes were life and death!" He tells him to listen to his parents. Andy: "I'm seven years old!" He just wants his radio back. "Shame! Come Back Shame!"
Batman: "Let's go, Robin. We've set another youth on the road to a brighter tomorrow."
The Duo figure Shame is not actually going to enter the race, so they go to see DJ Hot Rod Harry again at KGC Radio, "the #1 radio station in the world!" (:13) He refers them to Laughing Leo, a used car salesman magnate. He sells a car only used "in months with an 'r' in them" to a stereotypical little old lady from Pasadena. He thinks the visiting Duo want to trade in their Batmobile, but feigns ignorance on "the conniving cowboy of crime" with a delightful heel laugh.
Leo then visits the lair as the posse laugh over defeating the Duo. RD wonders on Shame's current ensemble. They discuss stealing four Angus steers worth over a million dollars from the Gotham City Rodeo. Shame says some more Western-speak confusing Vince. Leo then tells Shame the Duo is actually alive. Cue Shame breathing heavily. Annie: "He's angrier than a hyena with laryngitis!" Vince: "Interesting."
In the Batcave the Duo use the "Batroscope" as Alfred reports they found the stolen limo. "I hope you didn't mind my dismantling it for you." Batman: "You saved us at least 15 minutes."
One of the parts is a giant steering wheel with a green speck and a red speck of food.
Robin: "Shame is a sloppy eater?"
Batman: "Partly!"
They know the Adobe Hacienda Motel and Eats serves such (delicious) fare.
Robin: "Holy guacamole!"
Vince wonders when avocados first entered the US. (1994, after NAFTA ended an 80 year ban over the southern border.)
The motel is also Shame's other lair, but he's already gone when the Duo visit. They have to wait for his acting in the night, since he can't appear in the day due to being a vampire his ridiculous attire. They determine he's back at Westernland.
Robin: "He wouldn't do that because he would know that you know that this is a hideout of his."
Batman: "Knowing that, he'd think that we'd think he would not return there; therefore he did and so will we."
Robin: "Holy Batlogic!"
The posse are also there due to Shanelogic: "I knew he'd think I'd think he'd think I think he'd come back here."
Cue an immediate shootout.
Batman: "We've been bushwhacked!"
Robin is actually shot, forcing them to cover behind the Batmobile as the posse retreat. Batman has to cut out the bullet with a knife while Robin bits down on a cardboard shoehorn. Of course all this is done bloodlessly; it was the 60s after all.
Batman has to take his old chum back to the Batcave to give him ever handy drugs (of Batcillin), which is helpful enough for him to dance around the Batdiamond. He is sad they didn't catch the posse yet. Batman: "That's the crime business, Robin. It's all in the game."
Alfred reminds Batman that he is the Rodeo's Grand Marshall for some reason. They determine that Shane is going after the cattle there. Thus, the Duo will take Bruce's place...somehow.
The posse are already there as expected. (:34) The people throw their wallets at them but Shame does not want their "bacon drippings". RD wants to fry fish in bacon which does sound delicious. The Duo enter from the back (ahem) as the posse go to get the cattle which are on an upper floor for some reason. Any excuse for a wall climb.
Robin: "These short Bat-climbs are harder than the longer ones."
Batman: "It takes a while to unlimber your muscles, Robin. It's all good training."
This prompts a window cameo from...Hogan's Heroes' Colonel Klink. Yes, really. I suppose with all those folks trying to go back in time to kill Hitler, it's only fair that the Nazis send people forward in time to...I don't know, hunt down B.J. Blazkowicz or something?
Batman: "Colonel, what are you doing here in Gotham City?"
Klink: "I am looking for an underground agent."
Robin: "One of ours or one of yours?"
Batman: "And why at the Exposition Hall at the Coliseum?"
Klink: "Who knows? You never know where you might find one."
Batman: "Be careful not to get picked up. Chief O'Hara can be very tough with aliens incognito."
Klink: "Incognito? With my monocle?"
Robin: "Well, say hello to Col. Hogan for us."
Klink: "It's a wonder he hasn't tried to borrow your Batrope to pull another one of his escapes!"
He lets out an exasperated grunt which Batman ignores. Or perhaps he heard nothing.
RD wonders how the pitch meeting for Hogan's Heroes would have gone. Vince is reminded of the miniseries The Offer (about the making of The Godfather) where one of the showrunners talked about pitching it (Hogan's Heroes, not The Godfather).
Unfortunately the Duo are again too late in catching Shame, leaving behind a rather shocked guard in place of the cattle.
Batman: "They know where they're going. ... Steers have to be fed, right? And it's not easy to hide such enormous well-known animals, right? They must have gone back to the Gotham City Stockyards, right?"
Robin: "Wrong! ... If you wanted to hide a person would you hide him in a crowd? It's easy to spot a person in a crowd. It's not as easy to spot a person if you put him someplace where you wouldn't have looked. Ergo Shame has probably taken those cows back to the KO Corral."
So off they go after notifying Gordon.
Andy: "Come Back Shame!"
The Narrator reminds us he's still there as the posse meets a holstered Leo. (:43) They barely have time to laugh as they are unable to recognize the Batmobile driving up to them. With Batman's theme also playing Vince wishes they would also mentioned the music. The Duo exit and walk down Main Street for a showdown at high noon.
Shame: "Don't make a move Batman, or I'll fill yer full of lead."
Batman: "You can't frighten us with a vague threat, Shame."
Shame: "Draw."
Batman: "You and every other criminal know that I don't carry firearms, Shame."
Shame: "Well, then reach for your utility belts, so as I can do you in."
Robin: "Even the rottenest cowboy wouldn't gun down two unarmed men. It's against the code of the old west!"
Shame: "Them rules don't count east of the Mississippi!"
Batman then throws a smoke bomb so he can 'concentrate' while the posse shoot blindly around them, and manage to deduce that they have run out of bullets. The smoke clears and they are correct, leading to the stunt doubles fighting. Even Leo has one! Robin does jump on a goon to ride them around like a steed for some reason. Batman then calls out Shame for not using a water pump properly.
Leo: "You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?"
Batman: "You're not wearing glasses. [Punches him in the face into a water trough.] Laugh that off, Leo!"
Shame saves the last bullet to knock O'Hara's hat off, showing the police's lone contribution to the whole affair.
Gordon: "Well, Batman, you've done it again. May I shake your glove?"
All of the posse is hogtied in Gordon's office before going to the "calaboose". Andy wants his radio from "this dirty old man" or his mother will punish him. "Give me back my radio, Shame, or you'll be in big trouble with my mother!" Shame gives it back and promises to buy batteries for it.
Batman: "Well, what are you going to do now, Andy? You're not really a lost little boy."
Andy: (Suddenly going run-on) "I was for a while Batman but you helped me find myself I'm going
straight to the department store and trade in this Western outfit for a
Batman costume I don't wanna be a cowboy anymore I wanna be a hero
like you caped crime-fighter."
Batman: "Being a hero or a crime-fighter is not what counts the most, Andy.
It's growing up to be a good citizen and if that's what you meant, it's
the highest possible comment that you could pay me."
Shame: "Good grief."
Vince finds that Andy's actor, six year old Eric Shea, is the younger brother of Christopher Shea, who played Joey in the then running TV version of Shane. Vince wonders if he can get him on the show.
Cliff Robertson would of course also play Uncle Ben in the 2002 Spider-Man.
RD gives Okie Annie 7.5 Batpoles just because. Vince thinks it generous and gives her a 6 due to her Shirley Jones/Mrs. Partridge vibe and she didn't have much chest wise. Joan Staley was active in the 50s and 60s before retiring to family life.
Personally this story was a lot of fun. I wish there were more of this not just in the series but in the Batman-verse as a whole.
Vince does not remember Rick Rude as the WCW Phantom.
Vince considers doing a non-wresting show with lists.
- Special Guest Villain: Shame (Cliff Robertson)
- Window Celebrity: 2. Jack Carter, Werner Klemperer
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Different costumes
- Entertain The People: 1
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