Episode 60: Holy Nuns!: October 2, 2022

The Joker's Provokers
November 17, 1966
"After a reworking, the Joker's magic box holds the power to alter time forward and backward. Batman and Robin learn of his plans to pollute the city water supply, and butler Alfred is sent to take over as security guard at the water works. Alfred nabs the box upon the villain's arrival, freezing him and his cronies in time, but unwittingly commits a dangerous error when he removes the box's key."
56 minutes

RD: Has Never Played Whist. Vince's wife had her birthday recently. He will take her for dinner after the recording.

Bruce Pritchard told Vince he once met Daisy Fuentes who had a crush on him. Not surprisingly RD is skeptical. Of Bruce, not Vince.

For a change, and setting the standard for future cliffhangers in the series, the Narrator spends all of 15 seconds telling us that the Dynamic Duo are in fact in a trap "when last we left" instead of what happened before that.

Joker just decides to leave "at this key point", but he leaves his goons behind.

Joker: "When it's over, and the Boy Wonder is properly waxed, let me know." 

Then the goons just leave anyway, having persuaded themselves that their boss was a good pal in helping them out. This leaves Batman alone in full reach of his utility belt, from which he throws a key to cog the machinery and free himself. Cue short skirmish with some of the other remaining goons, including a monkey flip.

A victorious Batman then goes to rescue Robin by pulling out a dummy model a 120 pound teenager with one hand. I wonder if he will tell tale of his strength to Superman. "I don't see you one handed carrying that obnoxious colleague of yours Jimmy Olson, old chum." 

RD thinks any other villain would have fit better for this scheme than Joker. 

:10 Back at the Batcave Robin compliments his swimming lessons helping him to hold his breath. Batman always keeps a spare key for the Manor in his utility belt. Vince wonders why he would keep a key belonging to Bruce Wayne if it was ever lost. Batman: "Always carry a spare key."

Robin: "We were kind of stupid there Batman to walk into that trap."
Batman: "Without danger, the game grows cold. Little is gained without risk." 

Alfred then has to help Aunt Harriet with her whist group lunch. RD could not get through a three minute video explaining how to play. Robin still wants to get back to Joker's location but Batman stops him. "Like Mohammad, we must wait until the mountain comes to us again." 

At the lair Joker hears of the Duo's escape, but he lets it go because the jewelled key has now made his box a time machine. He shows its power by speeding up and slowing down stock footage of walking pedestrians, a landing airplane, a baseball game, and for some reason "the handsome residence of Bruce Wayne". This is shown by Aunt Harriet about to enter Bruce's forbidden study before rewinding herself. Vince wonders if she would have picked up the Batphone if she saw it. 

Meanwhile in Gordon's office O'Hara is moving more drunk than usual. He also doesn't have any lines, which is probably a good thing. For the character, not the actor. 

Joker only plans to use his time machine against Batman mano a mano. His device is also made of much more esoteric ingredients "which must remain secret for the nuns, Ophelia." He plans to use it in town for a ransom. RD wonders why he just doesn't sell it directly for a much larger fortune.

Gordon calls Batman: "Our beloved metropolis seems to be in the grip of a strange spell. Someone - we suspect the Joker - is playing a devious trick with time, turning it backwards, forwards, faster, slower." 

Joker has also sent more cryptic words with an "O-H-O". Robin: "Well, it's a word composed of two Os and one H!" He guesses it is for water, despite it being H-H-O, leading the Duo to suddenly deduce that Joker will poison the water supply. And a "character resembling the Joker" was recently seen with a watchman of a storage reservoir. 

Batman: "As insidious a scheme as could be imagined. Extortion...via... time..." 

Suddenly Alfred interrupts: the watchman is in fact his twin brother Egbert (Pennyworth). "Remember Eggy, sir? As President of the Water Commission, you helped him get his job." The Duo allow him to go off to see him with the help of his "Alfcycle". It has a two-way Alfradio!

Alfred meets Egbert at the waterworks (:27), giving Napier an excuse to have lots of fun playing a wacky brother with a completely different accent. Eggy claims to have thrown out Joker. Alfred tells him that "millionaire Bruce Wayne" who gave him his job (ah, the benefits of nepotism) has asked Alfred to relieve his brothers of his duties for a bit.

Egbert: "I know exactly what I'm gonna do! Bubbles LaBleu at The Follies: that chick swings around like a king's playground!"
Alfred: "You know, if you happen to run into Tassles LaVerne at The Follies, make sure you say hello to her from me." 

Alfred takes his place just as Joker and crew and clueless Cornelia show up. He plans to dissolve some key shaped capsules in the water to "forever control the matter of time in Gotham City". They try to sneak in but knock over a easily lifted grate "waking" a now wacky talking Alfred. Vince thinks this is how criminals escape the prison. Eggy was actually bribed instead of throwing out Joker. All $5 worth. 

Joker offers Alfred a glass of water filled to the brim with capsules. "I hate to drink alone," Alfred says, before he pulls out a gun. "I ain't just talkin', brother!"   

The group actually does so, as Alfred takes the box to fiddle about with some reason. Joker finally realizes the man's not on his level, not even after a $5 bribe. Alfred pauses them all and plays more with the box, resulting in rewinding Cornelia into a 10 year old. 

He calls the Duo to come...and then messes with the box some more, so that the group is in play by the time they arrive. The resulting fight is another short one though, or else Alfred may have turned his employer into Batbaby or something. 

Batman: "Robin, take him to the Batmobile while I clean up the rest of this...debris."
Robin: "If you want to pollute any more water, you'll find plenty where you're going - up the river!

Then Aunt Harriet enters, not immediately recognizing Alfred for a few seconds: "I'm Miss Harriet Cooper, of Stately Wayne Manor, and you're our butler Alfred."
Alfred: "Sorry, baby!"
The Duo cover for him by planning to help take her home (due to her running out of gas).

Then Batman has to make with the explanation: Joker's secret ingredient is a drug that causes mass hallucinations when dissolved and activated in water. Which, again, is not something in Joker's MO. (Unfortunately for the writers, the Scarecrow would only make a return to the comics the next year.) Also, how would the drugs cover an entire landing airplane totally separate from the city? 

Batman: "How little do we know of time, Alfred. A one syllable word, a noun, yesterday's laughter, tomorrow's tears." 

The Bros agree there was not much to the story, let alone the Joker's odd placement in the scheme, and his trying to be a keymaster for some reason. (:38)

Cornelia's presence was an odd one; she didn't do much and the Joker didn't want her around cramping his style. Nevertheless Vince would give her a 10, but he settles at 9.75. Now let us hope he remembers her name. 

RD found her a quite attractive 8.5 Batpoles. RD still finds Pauline better since unlike Cornelia she wore the same sensual outfit throughout her appearance, even if Cornelia's purple outfit would later be repurposed by Batgirl. 

24 year old Kathy Kersh would be married to Burt Ward next year after their first divorces...for two years. She never remarried and her acting career would soon follow, but fortunately she successfully pivoted into real estate.

  • Special Guest Villain: The Joker [5] (Cesar Romero) [5]
  • Brown Hornet Escapes: 1. Finally using the spare key.
  • SPEAKING OFs: 1. Gordon's office
  • Screen Captures: 2. RD, RD
  • Entertain The People: 1

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