That Darn Catwoman
January 19, 1967
"Catwoman mind-controls Robin! The Caped Crusader must stop her before she does who-knows-what with him!"
55 minutes
RD Is In His Masculine Retreat. He bought a Catwoman shirt just because. Vince was thinking of him.
The previous three-parter forced this story to have to continue next week until the next three-parter. The Monkees are still #1, even in the UK.
Robin is "a very special speaker" for those graduating Aaron Burr High School, in which he tells them "always to obey the law and support your local police." As if to compound the humor of this "advice", the filmed students seem to be entirely disconnected stock footage.
Catwoman is also there with her henchwoman Pussycat, as played by the singer Lesley Gore.
Pussycat: "But I'm just a rock 'n' roll singer. I'm not a crook."
Catwoman: "Oh, forget it. You're 20 years old. You're over the hill."
She sends her to stop Robin by standing in front of him and flirting with him. He responds by having his voice crack.
Pussycat: "I can see a very important part of your education has been grossly neglected."
Robin: "That's a funny-looking outfit you're wearing."
Pussycat (looking at his groin): "I could say the same for you, big boy."
Suitably distracted, she injects him at the back of the neck with "cataphrenic", immediately putting him through puberty.
Immediately the villains see Chief O'Hara approaching and hide. Catwoman just turns around and squats towards the wall.
Robin: "What's it to you, fella? Get out of my way or I'll give you a fat lip!"
O'Hara (to Pussycat): "What have you done to him, you little banshee?"
Robin lightly presses on O'Hara, causing him to make a huge pratfall. The two youngsters leave, as do the villains.
In the Batcave of course Batman senses something is wrong before Gordon calls to tell him of Robin's "attack: he had the wind knocked out of him, but he's recovered." (:12)
Batman drives to the Office over the titles.
O'Hara: "It was as though the devil had taken him. He was trifling with some little red-headed girl and he answered my greeting by tripping me. Who could have put him up to such a dastardly deed?"
Batman: "Chief O'Hara, had you ever seen this titian-haired wench before?"
O'Hara: "She couldn't have been more than 18, give or take four years. Kind of young for crime business."
Batman: "In today's rapidly changing world, one never knows."
Meanwhile at Stately Wayne Manor, Alfred is working on a floral arrangement as bra-less Aunt Harriet asks about Bruce's study.
Alfred: "Uh, well, madam, every man likes to have someplace that is, uh, a sanctuary. Far away from the, uh, if you pardon the expression, opposite sex. Now, uh, for those less fortunate than Mr. Wayne, it's the barbershop. For him, his study. A masculine retreat far from the threat of female encroachment."
SPEAKING OF female encroachment, suddenly Robin leads the villains straight inside to tie up the two.
Robin: "SHUT UP OLD MAN!"
Catwoman sits on the coffee table to gloat before lapping some milk out of a saucer as sensually as possible, as her goons blow up a safe by using what may be more stock footage.
Catwoman: "He's under the influence of cataphrenic. A drug which reverses all the normal moral and ethical standards and causes a person to become the exact opposite of what he was before."
Alfred: "So now he's just as pro-crime as formerly he was anti?"
Ward gets an excuse to break into a huge smile as he waves some money bills in Pussycat's face. "Stick with me, sweetheart. We're going places together. As soon as we get enough cash, we'll lay low across the border."
Catwoman: "All this is working capital. We got a much bigger job to pull."
Robin: "Yer tha boss, Catwoman!"
Then he passes out from the drug, so the villains have to carry him off.
Batman is still at the Office when the Batphone calls for him to answer.
Alfred: "Master Robin was just here with...with Catwoman."
Batman: "Catwoman?"
Gordon: "Catwoman?"
O'Hara: "Catwoman?"
Apparently the safe contained $200,000 of "housekeeping money", which seems like too much even for a 60's mansion.
Batman: "It appears she has the power to cloud men's minds."
In her Lair Catwoman lays spread eagle on her couch, Robin is still unconscious, and Pussycat has a background music record that she wants to sing to the male goons: (Philip) Marlow, (Sam) Spade, and (Simon "The Saint") Templar. The Bros think those are cat references for some reason. (:22)
Catwoman: "Music? I told you to forget about music. Now, either you're gonna be a singer, or you're gonna be an arch-criminal. You can't be both. You're too short."
She temporarily leaves, giving Pussycat Gore the excuse to sing California Nights, causing the men to dance and give odd applause. Sadly, since the song only charted to #16, RD: "which proves definitively that Lesley Gore is no Mickey Dolenz." Vince thinks that she is a challenge to his top girl Pauline, much to RD's bemusement.
Singing out of the way, Catwoman requires "another $800,000. And Batman. In that order."
Goon: "That's a tall order, Catwoman. About 6-foot-2."
She calls on her Catphone to the Batphone through Gordon: "Stop fumfering and be quick about it!"
Batman: "I know you didn't call to ask about my health, Catwoman. What have you done to Robin?"
She asks not to be stopped in her crime spree, or she'll kill Robin "instantly".
Batman: "Catwoman, I find you to be odious, abhorrent and insegrevious."
Catwoman: "Dealing with you has expanded my vocabulary, increased my word power, uh...a whole lot."
She asks to meet in person, but Gordon tells him not to for fear it is a trap.
Catwoman: "Are you listening, Commissioner Gordon? Tut-tut-tut. Don't you know that that's illegal?"
She hangs up.
RD: "At this point Commissioner Gordon attempts to apologize to his lover Batman."
The Dark Knight decides to go by himself, asking the two not to attempt to capture her.
Catwoman tells Pussycat her plan is to get her $1 million in bills "to purchase plans of the Gotham City Mint."
Pussycat: "The mint? Wow, you always did think big, Catwoman."
Catwoman: "Why not? I'd get the same prison term for knocking over a hot dog stand. When you're a 12-time loser it doesn't make much difference what you steal."
They had already attacked a hot dog stand anyway in the middle of getting another $100,000. Meanwhile Robin is still motionless.
Catwoman: "Ah, probably gave him an overdose. Hahaha!"
Their next target is "the decrepit loft apartment of the world's richest and cheapest inventor, Pat Pending". (:32) He tells his "val-let" Rudy that he's just perfected a universal solvent, but Rudy wonders if they have a container or "perpetual motion machine" to keep it in. At least he has his money in his mattress, which Catwoman just walks in to take.
The next robbery is at a hospital, which we don't see. Instead Gordon learns from the witnesses that they just stole the small bills. They also heard he may be attending the "annual weighing-in" of Prince Ibn Kereb of Gedallia, where he gives his weight in money to charity.
(Also the obviously "enlightened" network didn't pick up that Ibn Kereb is "heir of the dog" in Arabic, if put in other words.)
Gordon: "We must notify Batman."
O'Hara: "You bet, commissioner. To the elevator!"
Of course the villains with an awake Robin are at the ceremony.
Catwoman: "This is a surprise attack. Now, you all have your instructions. Synchronize watches."
Spade: "None of us have watches."
Catwoman: "Argh! Just...get the money and run! [To Robin] How are you feeling, Robin?"
Robin: "Hmmm... Purr-fect."Catwoman: "You're learning."
RD remarks on how tall Newmar in heels was to the group she was in.
Robin suddenly grabbed at Catwoman's posterior for some reason. RD has to disclaim not to do such things in the present day.
Batman appears, but unfortunately Robin does not know who he is. "Who's the character in the ridiculous costume?"
Batman (to the camera): "What a dastardly development this is."
He tells the police to keep out for a bit as he easily defeats the inept goons while Robin gets to the money and Catwoman has to tell the flailing prince to shut up.
Catwoman: "Robin? Slay the blue dragon."
Robin: "Groovy!"
Neither Bro remembers Batman just standing there not doing anything while Robin keeps punching him in the jaw like a boxing bag before giving a chair shot.
Satisfied by this totally real beatdown, the villains get in her Catillac to cross over to Catlair West, New Guernsey (not to be confused with neighboring New Jersey where Gotham City lies).
Catwoman of course knows Batman is after their new lair, but she takes the time to poke at a bird in its cage. (:42) Batman is reminded of a similar scene in Batman Returns where Michelle Pfeiffer swallowed an actual bird and spat it at the camera.
Batman notifies Gordon of his location as he stands around signs pointing to the Secret Entrance.
Robin is found tied to a chair, having pretended to be brainwashed as a "turncape"...but of course he is pretending to pretending. "Would I do that to you, Batman baby?"
Two goons then zap Batman with cattle prods, causing him to do an exaggerated shock.
Thus Batman is in a large mouse trap as Robin is cutting a line. Catwoman asks for his help to prevent that. "In other words...you'll be beside yourself!"
Batman: "I'll never be your partner Catwoman!"
Catwoman: "Ho-hum. Boy Wonder, start cutting."
Cue Robin sawing with a raucous grin.
RD: "Are our eyes deceiving us?...Oh, whoops, I don't have the Narrator."
Narrator: "Holy Battrap! What a decision! A life of crime or no life at all? There's no way out...or is there? Tune in next week for the shocking answer! Same Cat Time! Same Cat Channel!"
Apparently Gore appeared on the show to first sing California Nights due to being a niece of show producer Howie Horwitz. Vince was surprised on how better she looked on the show. He looks at her singing It's My Party three years earlier compared to her look in '89.
Vince doesn't understand negative comments on the internet.
The Arcade will have 8 player Super Smash Bros. Ultimate playing on the Skyline Drive-In's big screen in April.
- Special Guest Villain: Catwoman [6] (Julie Newmar) [5]
- SPEAKING OFs: 1. Catwoman's shirts
- Window Celebrity: 1. Lesley Gore
- Screen Shares: 1. Vince
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