059 In four words or less: April 13, 2007

In four words or less
(85 minutes)

RD posted a new Jobber of the Week (est. 2003), the first one not written by Blade Braxton.

RD's Trip to the Grocery (:04): green Rice Krispies treats. Shrek has gone too far. Blade wants to convert some big blue mailboxes into Star Wars characters other than R2D2, but I can't really tell because he rambles a lot.

Global Internet has written a letter chastising RD and Blade for saying their websites give guaranteed free sexual services. (:10) The new sponsor Angry Mark's ad copy wants you to kick Mike Jones in the balls.

Co-Hosss Contest Week 8: simple questions for Josh Van Meiter (:17), Danny Franchise (:26), and Rudy (:32). "I don't know" gets you gonged. 5 of 14 currently.

Vince Verhei
Mail Bag (:37): John Nelson (AKA Ultimate Kennedy) reminds us of Blade's lust for Linda. RD wants evidence. Theo from Salisbury's question about penises is broken down by logic. (:42) RD reads my gay letter and calls me gay. [Punk's Junk](:47) Blade is allegedly itching for a fight with Bryan Alvarez's Co-Host Vince Verhei. "That’s why I’ve been laying down!" (:50)

Obscure Wrestling News (:53): Larry Zbysko was in a porno decades ago. Blade: "Is he banging Kathy Gagne doggystyle?...You've never wanted to see Kathy Gagne butt-ass naked?" RD unjustly accuses Blade of having fantasies of Linda Hogan. Some random person (Roni Jonah) wants breast implants and needs your charity to do so. Horsetrolla: Mickie James 'is wearing different pants'. That's it. (:60) The Four Hosemen DVD was excellent, particularly with Paul Roma in it. (:65) RD dreams of Ric Flair taking out his penis and swinging it around. Kelly Kelly is doing random handstands in the ring because she cannot seem to escape it. Disco Inferno was arrested for having a casino in his basement. (:72)

Blade: "You’ve never jerked off to a hand spring?"

RD doesn't find chicks dancing on ECW to be hot.

Blade Braxton's Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
CM Punk turned heel.
He's New Breed. He's honk-shew honk-
shew honk-shew honk-shew.

Facts & Figures (as compiled by Erik Majorwitz)


  • The Paul Roma to my Jim Powers, Mr. Blade Braxton
  • WrestleCrap Radio Sponsors: 2. Global Internet, AngryMarks.com
  • URLs not taken: 1. BladeBraxtonWantsBoobies.com
  • SPEAKING OFs: 12. Gross things, tie-ins (2), sponsors dropping shows, cream for a gong finger, men with little bags, uh, uh being offensive and offending people, things you can find it you look around enough, such, people who look they were melting, people who are melting
  • Dave Meltzer, not talking about: 0.
  • Outdated references: 0.
  • I didn’t even know he was sick: 0.

  • F-Bombs: 2. Blade

  • RD Time Outs: 1
  • Krankor Laughs: 1
  • Weird Al Laughs: 1
  • RJ Fletcher, Yes Man: 1
  • WrestleCrap Gongs: 6
  • Cricket Chirps: 2
  • GGG (Gary Glitter Gay) Bombs:  1
  • Mickie James References: 3
  • Mailbag
    • John Nelson [AKA Ultimate Kennedy]: Dear RD and Blade, has Blade been able to live down his fantasies about Linda Hogan? I hope so! Trust me, I'm not offended but that was sick. I always thought Colette Foley was much lovelier and married to a cooler wrestler, BROTHER! Have a great day, and don't forget RD that new classic superstar Bob Backlund figure is almost upon us. Blade: No.
    • Theo from Salisbury: I've got two questions. The first one's for Mr. Blade Brakestown. How much do you weigh? 235. Second question is for both. Would you let a surgeon remove your penis if you became the most successful wrestler of all time? RD: No need to. Blade: Yes.
    • JR [Farmer Iggy, The Original WrestleCrap Radio Historian]: I believe I'm the only one who saw Punk's Junk pop out and back into his speedos during a Raw match with Lenny Dykstra in Chicago a few weeks ago. If you're curious, it's about one minute into the video posted at dailymotion.com. I'm not going to ask you if Punk is circumcised or not but I did want to ask: am I gayer for noticing it, or gayer for telling you about it? Nice new soundbite we have here. We'll offend a lot of people this way.

  • Blade Braxton’s Weekly Wrestling Haiku:
    CM Punk turned heel.
    He's New Breed. He's honk-shew honk-
    shew honk-shew honk-shew.

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