145 One-on-One: May 15, 2009

86 minutes

Now, if Piper was fighting
Morton KOOPA Jr. ...
For some strange reason there's been lots of controversy over last week's induction of Roddy Piper spraying in the anus of Morton Downey Jr. If anything I'm on their side on the matter; that thing was terrible.

Blade thinks RD is seeing Greg of globalinternet.com for his own anal sprayings, and that Greg has his own Global Internet Brothel. How would that work though?

Sad News: Mickie James auctioned off her Halloween outfit and Blade didn't even know it. (:10) Some random geek/nerd/poindexter offered $1000 for the Katie Vick outfit. Blade burps randomly in response.

RD didn't took a TRIP sadly, but Blade did with Forrest George (:14), who had come for an autographed picture of the Midnight Rose as part of his Whirlwind Adventure. Blade has some Captain Kirk hat he won from a claw machine. He also eats some Star Trek Lucky Charms cereal and indulges his cannibalism by eating Uhura. (:21) (Personally the Uhura of the latest movie doesn't do it for me; she looks too much like Beyonce for my tastes. Although I would enjoy seeing Jay-Z as a gangsta Klingon.)

Sir Alec is here again for the Fan Fiction Theater (:23) but he's still insubordinately hurting as he boycotts the show. Can he lead the tide in turning the show around? He insults the 'boring' Mike Check so RD and Blade pull a page from an old Apter mag and decide to have Alec go One-on-One as P.N. News against RD's Dixie Carter as Johnny B. Badd. Can Sir Alec show off his rapping skills as The Ride of the Valkyries plays in the background?



Image by Greg Matsunaga


Time for the FaxTrolla to light up. (:36) An open letter from the Big Nippled Vampire announces some auction of some 'sexy' marijuana outfit of hers with some pasties or other. Blade misses out on THAT too; just his bad luck huh? Candace Michelle was at some NASCAR race representing godaddy.com (:41) Some body double named Rachel Carr is signed up by WWE. You mean THIS deceased woman? The Sad Music is played for her. Blade and Don Mason once met some random body double at some Raiders game.

A Clayton (not the Clayton RD is familiar with, this is another one) has this week's Question (:47) and asks about One Hit Wrestlers. RD wants Xtreme Xpose to return. Remembrance of the three women commences. Blade wants Don Mason 'back' in the ring. (but did he ever leave?) We watch a new Don Mason tribute video by new WC Legend LannysPermJuice/Still Not Tom Bosley. RD didn't know they were on LP or had that many attentive listeners just standing around in courtyards listening to them.

Time for Mike Check to tune in. (:60) Blade tells him he's catching up to the Correspondent record as held by Johnny Sax. His ratings have been sagging low though and he probably needs a proctologist to check on them. Perhaps he should tour the country on the Mike Check Summer Sizzlin' Splashin' Spectacular to meet the 12 Listeners while selling bumper stickers. Hmmm, I wonder if this will end well...

TNA was in Huntingdon, Virginia at some random shopping arena over there, sharing it with a prom. Mike worked there at WDOX the Boondocks for hillbillies at the Moonshine Drive as the Mountain Dude. Fascinating. Blade fails at stifling his tee-hee-tickle-party laughter but takes the opportunity to do his Outsiders impressions again. Ray Peterson's Tell Laura I Love Her depresses the Co-Fruitcakes commentating on the song.

A last-ditch effort by the show to have wrestling news? Meh, why not. (:76) The stupid slogan of the WWE Divas is mocked. RD wants to preview the upcoming Judgment Day PPV by going down the card. (:80) They go over only one (1) match before Blade wants to make a stable called the Petting Zoo and an exasperated RD cuts straight to the Haiku music.

Seventeen Syllables to close this out and get us on with our lives:
Judgment Day Sunday.
My mind's already made up:
Not buying the show.

Blade: Beautiful music.
RD: Beautiful music, horrible show.

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