145 One-on-One: May 15, 2009

86 minutes

Now, if Piper was fighting
Morton KOOPA Jr. ...
For some strange reason there's been lots of controversy over last week's induction of Roddy Piper spraying in the anus of Morton Downey Jr. What is there to argue about? That thing was terrible.

Blade thinks RD is seeing Greg of Global Internet for his own anal sprayings, and that Greg has his own Global Internet Brothel. How would that work though?

Sad News: Mickie James auctioned off her Halloween outfit and Blade didn't even know it. (:10) Some random geek/nerd/poindexter offered $1000 for the Katie Vick outfit. Blade burps randomly in response.

RD didn't took a TRIP sadly, but Blade did with Forrest George (:14), who had come for an autographed picture of the Midnight Rose as part of his Whirlwind Adventure. Blade has some Captain Kirk hat he won from a claw machine. He also eats some Star Trek Lucky Charms cereal and indulges his cannibalism by eating Uhura. Sadly Stubby does not make an appearance in response. (:21)

Sir Alec is here again for his Fan Fiction (:23) but he's still insubordinately hurting as he boycotts the show. Can he lead the tide in turning the show around? After he insults the 'boring' Mike Check, RD and Blade pull a page from an old Apter mag and decide to have Alec go One-on-One as P.N. News against RD's Dixie Carter as Johnny B. Badd. Can Sir Alec show off his rapping skills as The Ride of the Valkyries plays in the background?

Image by Greg Matsunaga

The FaxTrolla sounds up. (:36) An open letter from the Big Nippled Vampire announces some auction of some 'sexy' marijuana outfit of hers with some pasties or other. Blade misses out on THAT too. Just his bad luck huh? Candice Michelle was at some NASCAR race representing godaddy.com (:41) Some body double named Rachel Carr is signed up by WWE. Sad News: You mean THIS deceased woman? Cue a dramatic "NO!" from Blade. He and Don Mason once met some random body double at some Raiders game.

A Clayton (not the Clayton RD is familiar with, this is another one) has this week's Question (:47) and asks about One Hit Wrestlers. RD wants Xtreme Xpose to return. Remembrance of the three women ensues. Blade wants Don Mason 'back' in the ring. (but did he ever leave?) We watch another  Don Mason tribute video by new WC Legend LannysPermJuice/Still Not Tom Bosley. RD didn't know they were on LP or had that many attentive listeners/prisoners just standing around in courtyards listening to them.

Mike Check tunes in, although not from a prison/courtyard. (:60) Blade tells him he's catching up to the Correspondent record as held by Johnny Sax. His ratings have been sagging low though and he probably needs a proctologist to check on them. Perhaps he should tour the country on the Mike Check Summer Sizzlin' Splashin' Spectacular to meet the 12 Listeners while selling bumper stickers. I wonder if this will end badly.

TNA was in Huntingdon, Virginia at some random shopping arena over there, sharing it with a prom. Mike worked there at WDOX the Boondocks for hillbillies at the Moonshine Drive as the Mountain Dude. Fascinating. Blade fails at stifling his tee-hee-tickle-party laughter but takes the opportunity to do his Outsiders impressions again. Ray Peterson's Tell Laura I Love Her depresses the Co-Fruitcakes who have to talk above the song.

A last-ditch effort by the show to have wrestling news? Sure, I guess. (:76) The stupid slogan of the WWE Divas is mocked. RD wants to preview the upcoming Judgment Day PPV by going down the card. (:80) They go over one (1) match before Blade wants to make a stable called the Petting Zoo.

Seventeen Syllables to close this out and get us on with our lives:
Judgment Day Sunday.
My mind's already made up:
Not buying the show.

Blade: "Beautiful music."
RD: "Beautiful music, horrible show."

No comments: